“Your view of me is your business not mine” love that!!

Clarity 👍 Sobriety 👍 Reality 👍 Thank you, Jack. Excellent content!

Love this Jack, you have such a compassionate and diplomatic way of conveying the truth. Thanks for being care-full with our hearts 💙

I guess 7 yrs is time to know he's not my guy 😭

Love it when he said: "Pen pal guy", ' Drop off guy", etc...love that ! The descriptions.

Jack he’s not my guy. - Another One Bites the Dust

I already know this inside, but I listened to it twice in a row just to keep reminding myself. 😂

Your videos help me immensely. You speak in a language that is very accessible, understandable and compassionate. Your teachings are helping me to let go of anger and really practice acceptance. You have a gift!

Places that are leaking energy takes energy from the main event... I deleted a bunch of useless dating sites that were energy vampires, nothing quality transpired. Using my energy to focus on a new connection with a grown-up man who is taking things very slowly. I'm not used to that but I'm learning to enjoy the process as it unfolds.

TIME IS YOUR FRIEND! I LOVE the way YOU break down men's BS.! 😂 Good to see you Jack, The background is LOVELY! Thank God for your wisdom! ♥

I needed to hear this as I was going back and forth on a penpal. Even though there’s substance, it’s still a basic connection. I appreciate the clarity 👏👏👏 TYSM.

This is so helpful. Ive been putting so much energy into men that were so not my GUY! I settled for so much BS!!

The more I listened, the more impressed I was with this guy's knowledge. Whoa.

I hinted to a guy I feel like we are pen pals. He responded with a long text continuing to text about himself and asking me more more questions we could be doing F2F. I never responded to him and felt so good about doing the right thing. I thank Jack Butler because he taught me how to be sober emotionally with a guy

His bit during minute 16 was probably the best. Something like "What if you haven't had that constancy before? Just trust yourself that you haven't had it and know that it will feel different."

What an aha moment I just had!! Thank you so much... A guy that is really interested in you will invest consistently in you.

I looove this superhonest and clear non-BS advice! ❤❤❤ And the check list is amazing too!

Just found your Chanel & it's like therapy. You give a deeper perspective than just the mind games explanation. As an idealist & fantaziser, I love your talk about being in the present, in the reality of the process & his actions. Makes me want to relax & bring the Disney story down.Taking notes 😆

I find that the issue and the price of sticking to a guy who doesn't behave/show up the way you want (and knows it, and doesn't step up) is fewfold: 1. Not getting what your heart desires (settling) 2. Ignoring your intuition may silence / shut it up temporarily. 3. Lack of inner guidance because you didn't honor it in this field. 4. Disregarding yourself means: not honoring yourself. Ultimately leads to an inner conflict, where you're doing sth that you intimately is not good for you or in your best interest. 5. Lack of confidence, as a result of not being your own best friend. (Talking from personal experience.)

We like it! Andreea from Romania Sending thanks and appreciations. Your words have met me in a needed time. Thank you. I have remembered things long forgotten.

Perfect wording in where I am. I’ve not allowed my time and energy for pen pal guy but have gotten nasty resistance and such good reply suggestions! Brilliant ‼️ We do go through different spaces in time. Time is key. Thanks Jack 👍🏼

Thank you for being on point and helping us to reach clarity through sobriety, and be true to ourselves as individuals...safe gaurd where we channel our energy, otherwise it's just not worth it...a great emphasis on your part in positively waking us up to reality , you exude that honesty in wanting to empower us, your energy is very clear...I feel these reflections are important for you too, so you are able to see how we are absorbing your output...it is also an appreciation of your intellectual energy...and as you say, when one is in tune with themselves, you can sense how someone is coming across to you...I trust myself and trust the journey, self soul searching as we call it ...as you know I've been watching many of your presentations, and like all things it has been great food for thought lol if I call it...if you and your wife ever come to Kenya you are welcome 🤗

He told me I was being high maintenance several times. Now I know. Thank you.

Wow! today is my 63rd and I have been a widow for 14 years and I have never talk to any man like that. Thank for your wisdom .

For 3 years time he is sending me a message once a month,he didn't give up but nothing more happened,he is living in another country but so clear he keeps me like option and I still waiting for for his message to come

My pen pal got scared when we were supposed to meet, his idea. Now my pen pal is a ghost 👻.

Really appreciate your insights and honesty from a male perspective Jack while you also frame it in such a proactive and positive way for women! Had a few lightbulb moments just now.. definitely clarified a lot and sobering video I'll be watching more than once ..Thank you from Perth ☺️

Loved finding your video this morning deluding and rationalizing about a connection. Time is on my side and waiting for that 6 month consistency. My discernment is getting better and better 🙏🏻💕

Side gigs. Love it and so true. Thanks, Jack!

Jack,this is so reassuring. I've been clear and honest with men(and myself). And now I see it not as a loss but,as clearing the way for the connection a different guy is also looking for. Thanks for the honest talk and helpful tips.🙂

Thanks Jack for the richness of your explanation. Your talk makes me realize the difference between what I have been experiencing from my ex-husband's courtship of me. He told me on our second date that he wanted to marry me. At which point I exclaimed "Are you nuts? You don't even know me!". Very different than the last guy who was a pen-pal guy. This really helps me understand your response to my comments under a video of yours a couple of years back, when you said the man I was mourning wasn't my guy. It's so much clearer that "my guy" would want to clear up misunderstandings and hurt triggered feelings. Ah, so much to learn when one had a dysfunctional family of origin.

This really helped me gain some perspective and understanding. Thank you for sharing!

Preach!!!!! Mergey guy, pen pal guy....

Amen! Great way to get down to the bottom line of different types of relationship opportunities and stages, and recognizing what you want and need- and then sticking with that. Awesome summary.

Yay Jack! You just started showing up in my KZfaq feed, again 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I’ve missed your teachings....glad you’re back! Thanks for your advice in this video.

Wonderfully stated! Thank you for reminding me of what I already knew, but continue to refuse to face. Deeper feelings were starting because I'm a romantic at heart. ❤️😎

Thank you for this information 💁‍♀️ 🙏

Just had to exit out of a distraction of 6months of inconsistency. I didn't want a relationship because of a previous breakup but overtime, this inconsistent distraction just made me miss my ex more. Thanks, Jack! Spot on yet again!

Wish it wouldn't have taken me the last 30 years of being single to finally 'get it.' But I really do believe that I finally not only know it in theory, but am self aware and strong enough now to not spend months, or even years with men who clearly aren't interested enough to truly invest, be present, consistent, and open in all areas of their life with you, then they just aren't 'your guy.' When its the right guy, for the right reasons, at the right time, there will be very little question of his interest and intentions, because he will be willingly showing through his actions that he WANTS to be your guy!..No convincing necessary.

Your so awesome, Jack .I'm still single because I have been able to recognize drop off guy, penpal guy, and hot and cold guy thanks to your work. But, I'd rather do me and wait for the right person than continue to have an arrested nervous system chasing drop off guy. Thanks for all your doing to help women empower themselves to choose the right thing!

Such great advice I’m gonna have to replay this one very valuable discernment for me. I’ve been prone to covert narcissistic codependency working on my part of those choices. Your content was much needed and appreciated 🙏🏻🌈☀️💕

That was absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much.

You are just simply perfect! Thank you for this 🙏😊

Love this! So clear and straight to the point! All women should listen to this, really!

You are right on with this. Thanks Jack ♥️

Brilliant advice thanks Jack!

This is the 1st iv seen or heard anything from u & I hav 2 say that u make so much sense & I really fkn like ur perspective on this shit.👍🏼🙂

Thanks to you Jack I've gotten smarter in this type of relationship that come along just to be pain.

I tried the lovership situation after 7 months I fell for the guy and it's clear he don't want more. I told him I had to end it because I was falling in love and the longer I stay in it the more I will end up hurt. I told him if in the future he wants to try again we can but he definitely isn't ready to settle down and that's okay.

I just watched this again. Fabulous and powerful. Thank you. ♥️

Your flight upgrade scenario is pure gold

Thank you

Thank you Jack ♥️

Excellent advice . So glad to have this video suggested.

Welcome back, Jack! Happy to hear your thoughts🤗

Thank you Jack. This is so helpful.

What’s so difficult is I made it clear multiple times my endgame is partnership, he always said, “I need to take this very slow”. That was his reply multiple times each time I checked in to ensure I wasn’t in a lovership. It kept me and it makes me upset at myself for wasting my own time, bc he was never truly clear and that was the answer that kept me around. I don’t think it’s okay, why not, “I don’t want partnership, I just want casual”. But he didn’t and it kept me for months hanging on until I had enough. What can I do in the future if another guy says this, “I want to take it slow” after multiple times of me stating my intentions and the slow means they don’t deepen the connection, they don’t show up more, it just stays on his terms . I want to learn from this failure.

I seen this 4 months after it was posted so need to watch this a few times.

This is such amazing advice!!! I was in a lovership but was missing emotional connection so I ended it because he wasn't fulfilling my love languages...it was a great experience and taught me a lot about being in my power. Thank you so much Jack 😊

Thank you, Jack!! You are amazing. So insightful, logical and clear.

Your videos are such a valuable resource that I’m grateful for🙏🏻 I won’t share how many times I’ve replayed it so my subconscious hears. The reprogramming has been a struggle but I’m working on it. The reality and sobriety check of lowering the trust I have within myself hit pretty hard as I’ve done that as long as I can remember. I pray that my efforts won’t feel like one step forward three steps back..Eventually solid bricks will be on a level surface to build upon🙏🏻💗Thank you🌹💕

"it's better for you to invest in guys that are investable".....tell like it is sweet guru of love 😂👍🏼

Blow out the pipes 😭🤣😂 that’s funny

This is one of the best videos. Your analogies help make things so clear! Thank you Jack!!!

A checklist!! You are fantastic Jack!

I'm so late but super happy I've found you now Jack! 🤍

My ex who keeps popping into my life every few months just as I'm getting over him is definitely a breadcrumbs and gaslighting guy. I've told him what I want, a committed relationship with meaningful contact several times a week. I've told him how I feel about him, that I do love him, deeply, & although things didn't work out & we broke up 3 years ago, (he moved on & had another very short relationship, I have remained single and celibate), I was willing to give us another go, taking things slowly, building a foundation of friendship again with plans to rebuild a committed relationship between us again. I've been not pushy at all but open and honest & firm in my intentions wants and needs. He isn't a great communicator, & isn't really able to talk about his feelings, but says he just wants a friendship at this stage, doesn't want to push things to where they can go wrong again were his words, but then he pops up sporadically every few months with hey how are you and small talk, comes to visit me, and ultimately wants sex, then leaves, not staying the night. I know I know, it takes two... but when you live someone it's very hard to say no and so easy to wishfully think THIS time it's different... So I told him recently that I was going to let this go, that I'd be interested & available to him if he was available and aligned with what I wanted, but it didn't seem he was, so I was going to let it go, to focus on things more aligned with what I want. Wished him well and said goodbye. He left it a few days, about a week, then came over & spent time with me, spent the night, which he usually doesn't, was more romantic, and yes we had sex, as I thought he realised what he wanted and wanted to give it another try. I asked him a few days later when he called & just gave me small talk, I asked what was this between us, where was this going in his eyes, what does he really want, as I'm not so interested in just small talk and wanted a deeper connection and some idea of what he was thinking, and his response, that I always push this, then stated that I didn't seem interested in talking to him, and promptly hung up on me. Fantastic!! Absolute gaslight tactic to say that I didn't seem interested... I have deleted all his photos, which is a HUGE move on my part, blacklisted his number, and am now REALLY ready to move on. It will be hard, not going to lie, as I do truly love him, and wanted more than anything for us to work out, to give us another try, BUT... I love ME and my needs and wants more, & realise I DESERVE more than what he is able to give me. So sad, why do men do this? Don't they realise what they have in front of them, don't they see when a good woman truly loves them & would be completely committed faithful and deeply in love with them. I would have married this man in a heartbeat, but his loss. Time to move on and find my guy who is ready to commit to me and give me the love, attention and respect that I deserve. Your loss Mr Breadcrumbs and Gaslighter, your loss

Thank you!!!💜💜💜

Great thoughts!!! Thank you!

Sooooo inspiring!!!!! I get more and more clear!! Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you for the good input. You are right. I recently met this guy who is showing me the big difference of a guy who is really into me and a guy who just likes me. I am so excited about the new season I am experiencing now. Keep giving this good counsel and mentoring. It has helped me to recognize what I really need and whom I really want to share life with.

Miss you Jack ✨

Wish there are more guys like you out there who has the same principles in life and treat his woman right.

I love your style Jack . I hear you. I get you. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼.

Your content is top tier

Your fantastic. Much appreciated x

Thankyou..you are very helpful..

Slow it down Yes!!

Omw you are seriously the best dating coach I've listened to in a looooong time! This feels like advice from a loving older brother!

Thanks your and inspiration to us all my teacher

Awesome presentation!

Cameo! Thank you!

Thanks, Jack, for the refresher!

Yes! I love how you framed this. ✨💖🙏

Great advice thanks,learning alot👌

Awesome commentary, Jack. Thank you.

Great stuff!

Oh yes Jack!

This is brilliant.

I met someone on tumblr. We are both at the point we arent looking for long term. We get together when we can as we are across an ocean from each other and it works! We chat, video chat, watch movies together and he drives me around his country on video chat and we have a blast. Its been over a year now and we love each other very much. So much fun and laughter, so much in common. We have our disagreements about things but we work it out. One of my best friendships/lovers, definitely.

👌❤️from Tanzania 🇹🇿

Really helpful thank you

Thks you God is in control Peace and Love Glory be to God

I look forward to your insight and supportive words. I love the word “investing”... it is the best word! Thank you so much! ☺️

Makes so much sense about the consistency of behavior, keeps it simple! 😊

GREAT💗REAL💚PERFECT💛AWESOME💞FANTASTIC VIDEO & MANY THANKS for your CLARITY, Jack! LOVE,💞💚💛🦋

Could you possibly do a video on when a widower , who liked marriage, lost his spouse due to a long time illness may possibly be available to date?

Simply G-E-N-I-U-S

Id like to have a love connection thats not yet committee. to see how I behave,since ive finally realized ,The Why?in why i've been allowing myself to accept low expectations situations.

The more you know what you dont want the more you know what you do want. Do you have videos on what a healthy relationship is?