How to listen like a therapist: 4 secret skills

  Рет қаралды 479,527

Doctor Ali Mattu

Doctor Ali Mattu

Күн бұрын

Improve your relationships by learning the 4 secret skills that therapists use every day.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction to active listening skills
1:22 - Reflect back what you hear
3:08 - Ask “What is this like for you?”
5:23 - Validation
8:04 - Understand ambivalence (motivational interviewing)
10:39 - When to do these skills and why they are hard
11:15 - Therapist secrets playlist: • Behind the scenes of t...
11:34 - Get comfortable being uncomfortable weekly challenge & comment of the week
13:27 - Additional video resources
- How to deal with emotions in a healthy way: • How to deal with emoti...
- How to overcome anxiety with exposure: • How To Start Overcomin...
13:35 - My Get comfortable being uncomfortable goal
14:49 - Thank you for an awesome 2019!
Want to talk to Dr. Ali Mattu? Join the call in show by filling out this form: docs.google.com/forms/d/1zsWc...
Special thanks to Elizabeth S., Tyler D., Anna H., Arnt J., Collin P., Evan A., Imran M., Sam D., Ryan L., Sophie Y., Ahmed Y, Israel P., Neuro Transmissions, Eric E., Eve P., Lauren K., BrainCraft, Aaron F., Samuel H., Marisa H.,Tae T., Steve M.,, Bryan T., Nicky C., Samuel A., Anton T., Jennifer C., Shanda W., Saleem H. P., Sri S., Alex N., Denise J., Emily W., Samar, Lars B., Pipitchy, Emily, Troy C., Alexandre V., Jose, Julie, H., Rebecca E., Mariana D. M., Karl S., Cesalie S., Greg M., Christy, BobC, Sam, and Lena F. H. for making this episode possible! Learn how you can help me make The Psych Show and get exclusive behind the scenes access in return at / thepsychshow .
Learn more:
* 10 Steps To Effective Listening: www.forbes.com/sites/womensme...
* Free course in motivational interviewing: healtheknowledge.org/course/i...
* Motivational interviewing forms: www.nova.edu/gsc/forms/gsc-fo...
Connect with Ali:
Twitter ► / alimattu
Facebook ► / thepsychshow
Instagram ► / alimattu
Snapchat ► / alimattu
Patreon ► / thepsychshow
Email ► ali@thepsychshow.com
Website ► alimattu.com/
THE PSYCH SHOW! Creating mental health videos that educate, entertain, and empower! Produced, written, and edited by clinical psychologist Ali Mattu, Ph.D. All videos are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute clinical advice.
If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- call 9-1-1 in the United States or your country's emergency number: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...
- call the Lifeline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) in the United States or a global crisis hotlines: www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis...
- text START to 741-741 in the United States or visit chat.suicidepreventionlifeline...
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

Пікірлер: 457
@carmendevine7244
@carmendevine7244 12 күн бұрын
I know some therapists who frequently validate pretty much anything people say, I always feel "handled" it's an obvious technique and it makes them so much harder to trust or relate to
@dameanvil
@dameanvil 6 ай бұрын
01:21 🎯 Therapist's secret skill #1: Reflect back what the other person is saying to show you're listening, increase empathy, and clarify understanding. 03:20 🧠 Instead of asking "How does that make you feel?" ask how the person is experiencing the situation to better understand their emotions and thoughts. 05:33 🌟 Practice validation to help the person understand that their feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of whether they make sense to you. 07:06 🤔 Understand ambivalence: Recognize when someone is torn between wanting to make a change and facing barriers. Ask what benefits they find in their current situation.
@sula1529
@sula1529 11 күн бұрын
Thank you so much ❤❤❤❤
@karinblak6387
@karinblak6387 4 жыл бұрын
I'm a therapist, and I HATE the "and how does that make you feel" too. I believe it is a limiting question which doesn't actually allow the client to talk about their full experience. "What was/is that like for you?" is open to any answer when we can then work with and narrow down in whichever direction the client needs to take it. And ... I'm loving your videos! :)
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
100% agree!!! Thanks for taking the time to comment. Hope you are staying safe and healthy during this time.
@jaydaaa876
@jaydaaa876 4 жыл бұрын
My counselor keep asking me that. And i dont know what to say
@Styles.rp25
@Styles.rp25 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, that saying is so Cliche, ugh. I avoid it as well.
@Angelamarie2330
@Angelamarie2330 3 жыл бұрын
same!!!!! Absolutely cannot stand "how does that make you feel"
@jamesjdm
@jamesjdm 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a therapist and I agree. I rank it up there with "I understand". Not my favorite phrase lol
@le_th_
@le_th_ 26 күн бұрын
I do this all the time with toddlers and little kids (in a very kind, empathic tone). This is why they adore me. I'm not special, I simply listen, validate their feelings, and sometimes I ask them if they can do something else next time, if its appropriate to the situation and they need redirection.
@rsh793
@rsh793 26 күн бұрын
Especially important for children that age to be heard and validated in their feelings - so love that and it's so lovely to hear. Kids love to be treated like that and heard and it helps them learn early too x
@cocotulle23
@cocotulle23 11 күн бұрын
I’m just going to say that if you’re watching this video you’re a really good person. 💛
@KFCJones
@KFCJones 9 күн бұрын
Yeah? Well if you're making random comments like that, then you're a really good person too! ❤
@claudiaschneider5744
@claudiaschneider5744 8 күн бұрын
@@KFCJones 😅🤣😂😆
@anitaespinosa6146
@anitaespinosa6146 7 күн бұрын
If you are responding to this comment, you are like rays of sunshine emanating from the life giving star that you are. ✨
@anniea3411
@anniea3411 4 жыл бұрын
Not only are you an awesome psychologist, you're also very engaging and FUN to listen to. I hope to be a clinical psychologist like you!
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
Awww thank you!!!!
@miou4u
@miou4u 3 жыл бұрын
Ambivalence "talked" to my heart 🤣 Great video!!
@jagnoork6013
@jagnoork6013 Ай бұрын
Me too! I want to be a clinical psychologist too 💕
@divergentone777
@divergentone777 24 күн бұрын
Some people do see validation as approval, and some people don't want to work through their experiences, but rather voice them over and over again to seek more validation
@Ash-gj2lf
@Ash-gj2lf 20 күн бұрын
Some therapists also create this dynamic because they aren’t well trained. A good therapist will quickly get past the validations and into the healing and growth.
@LyrixNChill
@LyrixNChill 13 күн бұрын
This right here. Had a friend who always painted herself as a victim to anyone who would listen. But the minute anyone try to dig deeper into her narrative, she would shut down the conversation and go complain to someone else who didn’t realize she was making up 80% of her stories
@Lennythewinner
@Lennythewinner 8 күн бұрын
And such people are so exceedingly tiresome.
@divergentone777
@divergentone777 8 күн бұрын
@@Lennythewinner AMEN TO THAT!
@Mushroom321-
@Mushroom321- Жыл бұрын
" get comfortable being uncomfortable = "Consistent with your values.. " 😃 GREAT EXPLAINING!!
@Rashaunbrown87
@Rashaunbrown87 22 күн бұрын
I adopted this into my sales interactions. It works for me when dealing with Lost Accounts and frustrated customers.
@mugishagisa4884
@mugishagisa4884 13 күн бұрын
It works better in hospitality industry
@michals2351
@michals2351 Жыл бұрын
This is honestly in my top 3 most important videos I have seen in my life. I have watched it like 20 times now because it made me realize how bad of a listener I was and could never make other person I was talking with comfortable. Thank you so much.
@user-zu7xk9ki6f
@user-zu7xk9ki6f Жыл бұрын
what are the other 2?
@michals2351
@michals2351 Жыл бұрын
@@user-zu7xk9ki6f Other one is regarding diet. Especially how bad carbs are for your body. It is from Dr Eric Berg
@user-zu7xk9ki6f
@user-zu7xk9ki6f Жыл бұрын
@@michals2351 thank you!
@peach3813
@peach3813 Жыл бұрын
This helped me understand my therapists intentions from their actions. When they clarify, I felt hurt that they compressed my issues into a couple of sentences as if it’s not that big. But now knowing it’s coming from a place of listening and meaning of understanding, I don’t feel angry anymore lol
@joyking2231
@joyking2231 10 ай бұрын
Cool, love freedom from even a pain filled MISUNDERSTANDING.
@jcr3500
@jcr3500 14 күн бұрын
This is an important thing for therapists to understand. I think I would feel this way too.
@graceg3250
@graceg3250 13 күн бұрын
Maybe voice your interpretations with your therapist
@kticelovingit4801
@kticelovingit4801 13 күн бұрын
My counselor (therapist) doesn't seem to care ,it's a job ,employment, so to speak. Doesn't let me finish the questions he asks. I feel like a piece of me dies every time after seeing him. Thank God for my psychiatrist.
@user-tj2yx2bf3w
@user-tj2yx2bf3w 12 күн бұрын
You need another therapist 😮
@aceofspace99
@aceofspace99 11 күн бұрын
That's my question. Is it possible for you to get a different therapist? You're worth it.
@kticelovingit4801
@kticelovingit4801 11 күн бұрын
@aceofspace99 thank you for saying that's because after talking to him, I don't feel worth.
@aceofspace99
@aceofspace99 10 күн бұрын
It is VERY important.
@attheranch873
@attheranch873 2 күн бұрын
Why are you still seeing him? There doesn’t seem to be any benefit to you, just harm. ☹️ it would be therapeutic for you to leave 🌷I wish you the best
@SharlenesJourney
@SharlenesJourney Жыл бұрын
I’m a listener and I love listening to people a lot of people are very smart and already know what they need to do I love to validate them and make them understand that they’re on the right path listening is so helpful a lot of us just have so much in our head but once talking it out you begin to analyze and put pieces together 😊 I’m also an empath so I think this plays a huge part in it I hate seeing people sad or down we are not here to be anxious but here to just live our life and overcome our obstacles
@hangry_panda
@hangry_panda 4 жыл бұрын
I'm getting my ph.d. in clinical psycology, these will be soooo useful for me in the future. Thank you so much!!!
@aadityamenon8774
@aadityamenon8774 3 жыл бұрын
Melissa Silenzio from which uni?? I am planning to do masters in clinical psychology and then phd in the same.
@angerodz6782
@angerodz6782 3 жыл бұрын
Same, currently feel like I'm struggling in first sessions technique because I'm overthinking too much.
@susantompkins4254
@susantompkins4254 2 жыл бұрын
I've just past a pychotherapy exam at 63 years old. I feel like I'm too old, my only regret is that I wished I did this years ago because I would love to be as good and confident as you and to help so many people. Thank you for all of your great advice 👍 I'm continuing learning as much as I can because I'm loving it 😀
@bryanferguson4927
@bryanferguson4927 Жыл бұрын
That's great Susan! I'm right behind you at 54 years old and getting my Master's in counseling. Your life experiences will add a TON as a therapist.
@susantompkins4254
@susantompkins4254 Жыл бұрын
@@bryanferguson4927 congratulations for achieving your maters degree, I'm so very happy for you, and a bit jealous 😀 I think it good people like you that keeps the word going
@JoBrew
@JoBrew Жыл бұрын
Well done Susan, I have similar concerns about being ‘too old’. I’m a university undergrad doing a major in psychology. I have an honours year after I finish my degree before I can even begin a masters program. I’ll be 55 by the time I have finished!
@bryanferguson4927
@bryanferguson4927 Жыл бұрын
@@JoBrew You're brave and you can do it. I'll be finished with my master's at 56. I placed a large sign on the wall, above my computer, when I finally decided to go back to school and follow my dream. It reads, "WHATEVER IT TAKES..."
@anthonyharmon9265
@anthonyharmon9265 Жыл бұрын
Student loan debt after 50 is a nightmare scenario.....as is the reality you'll pay on it for the rest of your life 🙄
@dpeterman945
@dpeterman945 10 күн бұрын
"What's going on in your body? " instead of "how do you feel?". Brilliant. I've just finished a long chunk of therapy and this approach is so much more useful. For me, it gets me out of my head and gives way more information.
@justinking4172
@justinking4172 8 ай бұрын
I’m a grad student and just found this guy. He’s a likeable KZfaqr and seems like a great communicator. I just subscribed and I’ll be using his channel as an additional resource - I’m currently taking Techniques class and start my practicum in January so I’m trying to absorb and practice some of these skills he’s talking about
@phyoewaipaing6670
@phyoewaipaing6670 Жыл бұрын
What you didn't mention in this video is you used your voice tone beautifully and I'm sure it must help a lot when you meet with the patients. Thank you sir.
@hildayacoubian9312
@hildayacoubian9312 4 жыл бұрын
It’s so true that what you thought was important as a therapist was not an important aspect for the patient. As a patient I’ve experienced that, so it definitely is great when they reflect back, because we all have our schemas and tend to interpret events through those. ♥️
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing this perspective! Good to hear it’s true on both ends 🙌🏽
@payalsingh360
@payalsingh360 4 жыл бұрын
I used to volunteer at a crisis hotline, and this was the exact training I was provided while working there. It works beautifully, but I've always struggled to apply this in my personal life
@lyinbobbycottonseed
@lyinbobbycottonseed Ай бұрын
I’ll help you out with in, my sister
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
Timestamps: 0:10 - Introduction to active listening skills 1:22 - Reflect back what you hear 3:08 - Ask “What is this like for you?” 5:23 - Validation 8:04 - Understand ambivalence (motivational interviewing) 10:39 - When to do these skills and why they are hard 11:15 - Therapist secrets playlist: kzfaq.info/sun/PLItaCgXIQkHefVtJ4xObrbLipU5dds0ae 11:34 - Get comfortable being uncomfortable weekly challenge & comment of the week 13:27 - Additional video resources - How to deal with emotions in a healthy way: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/lbaojJCEta3QZKs.html - How to overcome anxiety with exposure: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/epagq6ieya7Qoac.html 13:35 - My Get comfortable being uncomfortable goal 14:49 - Thank you for an awesome 2019!
@bobcunningham6953
@bobcunningham6953 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, that looks like a topic list for future videos. Each of these is worth unpacking on its own.
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
+Bob Cunningham that’s a great point! Each one could be a separate video.
@bobcunningham6953
@bobcunningham6953 4 жыл бұрын
@@drali There is so much depth here to explore, yet many of us need skills we can apply today. I have no idea how you will strike that balance, but I'm here for the duration. It's like I want the "tricks" that will help me "get by" now, while simultaneously wanting the deeper knowledge that will help me understand what's "really" going on for the long haul.
@slxbeats8146
@slxbeats8146 3 жыл бұрын
@@bobcunningham6953 same
@jonnyhtcdesire
@jonnyhtcdesire 3 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this video. Are there any awesome books you'd recommend for a beginning therapist in training stage?
@jamesjdm
@jamesjdm 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a licensed therapist and I really love your videos! I'm a big believer in practicing nthe fundamentals to avoid the "expert mind" and your video really helps me remember some of the most powerful basic tools we can utilize to connect with and understand our clients! Thanks!!
@ness3700
@ness3700 4 жыл бұрын
I’m a therapist for a year and a half now and it comes naturally:)
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
💯! Once you’ve been doing it for awhile it feels as natural as walking.
@ness3700
@ness3700 4 жыл бұрын
The Psych Show thank you. Everyday is a learning experience. I enjoy your videos! I am currently pre-license and I enjoy learning from other therapist who have amazing information, not only for newbies but for the public in general. Keep up the good work !
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
Thank YOU so much for your encouragement and kind words! Any type of videos you’d like to see in the future? Good luck on your journey. Hope you get a good self care break over the next two weeks.
@fetilu0975
@fetilu0975 4 жыл бұрын
What kind of approach do you use ?
@drali
@drali 4 жыл бұрын
My specialty is anxiety and I’m trained as a cognitive behavioral therapist (emphasis on the behavioral).
@sebastian_goat
@sebastian_goat 9 ай бұрын
the “validation” piece is interesting-i think you need to be careful with that one. you don’t want to be the one ALWAYS validating them or they won’t learn how to have confidence in their own experiences. Exceptions I can think of are people who have experienced abuse/trauma and don’t trust their own feelings, and teens/kids who don’t have an understanding of “normal” or “appropriate” reactions.
@punkhead-dv9lg
@punkhead-dv9lg 3 жыл бұрын
I am personally in high school but have friends who have a lot of mental stuff. I try to help and I am trying to give the best amount of help I could with my knowledge
@ireb3l
@ireb3l 4 жыл бұрын
Im a first year psychology student and these videos are not only motivational but full of useful information that we can learn from. Please don’t stop posting such amazing content.
@izabelarzodkiewicz2839
@izabelarzodkiewicz2839 2 жыл бұрын
Hi, it's been 2 years since you commented this, but I wanted to ask (if it's okay with you) how is it going with your studies?
@ireb3l
@ireb3l 2 жыл бұрын
@@izabelarzodkiewicz2839 Hi, I’m still a second year student and its going really well because I’m passionate about it :)
@howardowens721
@howardowens721 9 күн бұрын
Early in my relationship with my late wife (30 years together) she was telling me something her husband said to her and I asked, “how did that make you feel?” She said crying. I didn’t understand why. She told me, “that’s the first time a man ever asked me what I feel about anything.” I was shocked. It seemed that a natural obvious question to me. I would suggest the question is different in the context of a therapy session than it is in a personal conversation between two people who have a bond as friends or lovers.
@gregorymoon
@gregorymoon 10 ай бұрын
I will practice. I will reflect back to the other person. Reflect what they said. No interruptions. Empathy and understanding. Am I hearing you right? To know what you are experiencing. You have to care to become a shared understanding - notes I took from your video. What's life like for you? Is this the general norm for everyone. Probably. we all suffer like this - wow - that's great to understand that now.
@user-nm6li5jc4r
@user-nm6li5jc4r Күн бұрын
This video has been on my feed for a number of years and I've ignored until today, validating, thanks
@Ruby_V_
@Ruby_V_ 4 жыл бұрын
I _love_ how you relate the example statements/questions with their functions. At least 10 times through this video I had excited thought--"that way of communicating that is so perfect!" and naturally I have to write them all down and try practicing them now.
@gracekihu3761
@gracekihu3761 4 жыл бұрын
Trying the same. Its difficult to write while he is talking, I wish there was a script. This is so helpful. I am doing counselling and psychotherapy and I am finding this video so helpful. I want to capture each and every word..incredible.
@johannamia2655
@johannamia2655 8 күн бұрын
Smth that’s so great about this video is that you can use this in relationship with yourself as well. I have a BAD habit (based in trauma) to invalidate my own experiences and feelings sm. Recently I saw my need for validation from myself and acted on that, and so experienced sm relief
@wholelottamukbang3187
@wholelottamukbang3187 4 жыл бұрын
im in school for psychology. really love ur videos/ please never get discouraged and stop because you are helping people out here alot.
@xoKaylaMay
@xoKaylaMay 4 жыл бұрын
Have you ever cried during a session listening to someone's situation? If so, how do you control yourself in that moment?
@the.punkmonk
@the.punkmonk 3 жыл бұрын
Personally, I actually allow myself to cry along with the other person -- I find that mirroring their feelings and validating their experience is an INCREDIBLY powerful tool if used properly. I never force tears, though -- they have to come genuinely -- and with practice have become able to remain present and grounded enough not to let my own emotions run away with me and steal the other person's thunder. Crying is incredibly cathartic and I wish there wasn't so much shame around it! Some of my own favorite therapists have allowed themselves to shed tears in the room with me. I'm an executive/business coach myself, not a therapist, so am curious what Dr Mattu has to say on this subject.
@lupe3986
@lupe3986 3 жыл бұрын
@@the.punkmonk love this, I've had my therapist cry while I was speaking and honestly made me feel like they were really listening, empathetic, and like I shouldn't continue to suppress emotions.
@naturallyours21
@naturallyours21 3 жыл бұрын
I'm also curious about this response. Personally, I remember being in session with a new therapist who started crying while I worked through the grief of losing my father. Seeing her cry was the most distracting thing for me and instead of being able to remain fully in emotions and process, I found myself trying to console her and deal with her response. Long story short, I thought it was best to find a different therapist.
@the.punkmonk
@the.punkmonk 3 жыл бұрын
@@naturallyours21 so, there are different levels of crying. I will allow myself to empathize with my clients and let my eyes get moist or a year or two to fall. But I *always* hold the stronger frame and keep the spotlight squarely on them. My function is to help them co-regulate, and not steal their thunder. If your therapist was taking over the room with their feelings, sounds totally right that you went looking for someone else. (It took me a long while to find a therapist that meet my high standards too, and it's been totally worth it!)
@naturallyours21
@naturallyours21 3 жыл бұрын
@@the.punkmonk I hear you and agree that it can be a useful approach to supporting some people. This example was my first experience working with a therapist. I am an empath and I'm very sensitive when it comes to the emotions of other people. Knowing the kind of support I needed, this particular person wasn't the best fit for me, but I was able to find a different therapist who was able to hold space for me in the way that I needed.
@essennagerry
@essennagerry Жыл бұрын
I've come to do most of these naturally - I do also do the other things such as interripting, giving advice, leading the conversation on the basis of a misunderstanding because I didn't reflect back, or spiraling into talking about myself. But - I do most of the things you said here! And it makes me very happy because I value these things a lot. I especially like asking extra questions, reflecting back and validating. I looove to tell people what exactly I find so understandable and what exactly I find is perfectly ok, even good, even important and healthy. And tell them what I find not ok but why I think it's understandable they did it. I do also like giving advice but in the form of questions. "Do you think doing ____ would help?" "Why not?" I can say a lot more on the contents of the video but I'll stop here! This is the first video of you I watch and I have a feeling this chanel will be a gem. Also, I'm only since recently open to doing therapy. And to understand what therapists are even doing will be a huge help for me! I'm not the type of person who does well just trusting the process and following the guidelines. Because I don't understand it correctly. I see many possible options where others see one or two. So I have to understand things in more depth than regular people seem to need in order to be decently functional. Two birds with one stone: I'll be able to be more helpful to my friends AND prepare for therapy!
@iesouschristosnika777
@iesouschristosnika777 Жыл бұрын
More therapists need to watch this video than you know.
@drali
@drali Жыл бұрын
Always good to have a refresher on these topics
@waynepolo6193
@waynepolo6193 Ай бұрын
@@drali Dr. Ali out here jukin’ and jivin’ like you don’t know what he really meant 😂
@claudiaschneider5744
@claudiaschneider5744 8 күн бұрын
Honestly - I gave up on therapists lately - its just a waste of time and money - I am my own therapist now - just help myself now.
@waynepolo6193
@waynepolo6193 8 күн бұрын
@@claudiaschneider5744 Then why are you watching one?
@amrutamahajan9627
@amrutamahajan9627 8 ай бұрын
I work as a Therapist, and while I understand the intention of this video is to make people more aware about listening skills - I feel that these tips are more for the role of a therapist than a friend / acquaintance. If I were to have a discussion with a friend and they ask me "where do you feel that in your body" that does not make any sense. Let relationships be relationships without having the need to "therapize" them.
@LaurenBradburyFarm
@LaurenBradburyFarm 25 күн бұрын
I recognize this approach as a great method for self inquiry. It could push me past the pat self-recrimination into layers that could lead to self-understanding and untangling root causes. Great stuff
@dhruvivora9763
@dhruvivora9763 4 жыл бұрын
This is a deep video. I have been on and off using these skills related to counseling and it allows for real and deep conversations with peers. The difficulty I face is when people start with their advices (like try out these things...) and it confuses me about how to respond then. I've adopted being assertive and it turns out to be helpful and an easy fix, but doesn't guarantee with the same amount of rapport with people in the long term. What could be another option to break from hearing advices. Thank you so much for all the content you've shared till now Dr. Ali. It adds on to the textbook knowledge and broadens my understanding.
@emiliam778
@emiliam778 4 жыл бұрын
As always very helpful, thank you for that video.
@infinitelyweird
@infinitelyweird 4 жыл бұрын
Very helpful! Thank you! My boyfriend is struggling with a drug addiction, I’m trying to help but it’s really hard to communicate openly and it’s really hard for me to understand his struggles.. He wants to overcome it but it’s a process..
@dalpz205
@dalpz205 2 жыл бұрын
I hope you had resolve. I think the problem is not that you need to listen. Someone on drugs (with variances due to drug) will not know the difference with such altered brain chemicals.
@lanngunn6512
@lanngunn6512 Жыл бұрын
Thank you, truly, for this information! Had a friend text about marriage issues. Immediately, wanted to jump in with advice, and personal past experiences. Instead, i started praying, and got lead to this channel. Thankful, to learn these skills for such a tender topic!!
@drali
@drali Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@skionen1781
@skionen1781 4 жыл бұрын
Excellent stuff, thanks for sharing.
@bellajoseph1867
@bellajoseph1867 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you for sharing so much knowledge!
@byjacquelineb
@byjacquelineb 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for making this video!
@ujjwals.dadwal8911
@ujjwals.dadwal8911 Жыл бұрын
Skill Number One: Reflecting Back! - This happened to you and you experienced this you did this as a result, Does that sound right? - When you reflect back then you realize how you missed the important details - Everything is built upon this skill? Skill Number Two: What is this like for you? - People are feeling so many different things that they don’t know what they are feeling - People have hard time putting words to emotions - How are they experiencing this; what’s going on in your body? What was popping on in your head? - One person really feels bummed or sad while other feels like hitting something or breaking something - As you were describing this, how are you feeling this in your body? Skill Number Three: Validation - Always validate other persons emotion, if they make sense to you - If I had been going through all of this, I would have been feeling this too! - It makes so much sense you are upset about this x, y & z happened - It’s not supporting or approving, you’re saying you get it and I might have done the same Skill Number Four: Ambivalance - Ambivelence is how much torn you are in changing your decision? - What are the things you enjoy about this? - How is this activity/habit helping you? - What are the things you dislike about this? - How willing you are to change this activity from 0 to 10 - What made you think so?
@charleskutner6346
@charleskutner6346 24 күн бұрын
Excellent video, clear and concise. Thanks.
@circularpizzabox2134
@circularpizzabox2134 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely incredible information, spoken slowly, while keeping a great tempo to keep my brain stimulated with wanting to hear more. As a student in Psychology finding this was exactly what I was looking for on YT. Thank you!
@skatingmom4
@skatingmom4 6 күн бұрын
This was so helpful. Thank you.
@the.punkmonk
@the.punkmonk 3 жыл бұрын
I just stumbled across your videos and they're GREAT! So helpful, engaging, detailed and thoughtfully made. As a coach (who helps camera-shy people find the courage to get on screen, actually!) I've been told I'm an empathetic, non-judgmental listener and I'm always looking to get better and more intentional with my skills. But the skills you describe are also so valuable in personal relationships. Thanks for putting yourself out there, Ali!
@living4thekingdom170
@living4thekingdom170 Ай бұрын
Wonderful advice!!
@ZacharyLee
@ZacharyLee 2 жыл бұрын
Super helpful and insightful!
@deepun9091
@deepun9091 11 ай бұрын
Thanks! Pure gold and so helpful.....
@olakolade6656
@olakolade6656 2 жыл бұрын
I want to be a clinical psychologist in the future and you inspire me so much :)
@lsestrada
@lsestrada Жыл бұрын
You’re awesome, Dr. Ali. Thanks for sharing.
@tmrb7600
@tmrb7600 16 күн бұрын
Great video! Thank you for sharing the knowledge
@grahamwalker2168
@grahamwalker2168 4 жыл бұрын
This is a great refresher for me and a brilliant introduction. Really hope things are going well for you back in California and that you are all set up for next year.
@Celestialmenace
@Celestialmenace Жыл бұрын
Thank you! This was extremely helpful
@rupmatt
@rupmatt 26 күн бұрын
Classic motivational interviewing! Love the way you presented it!
@katrinadutton9156
@katrinadutton9156 10 күн бұрын
Heck yeah! Thanks Doc for this video!!
@Mushroom321-
@Mushroom321- Жыл бұрын
THANK YOU for the video & content!! 👏👏👏
@tammybradshaw7175
@tammybradshaw7175 2 жыл бұрын
Awesome! Thank you so much! I REALLY needed this video to help me be a better listener! I like how you broke down each skill.🙏❤
@socomartinez3381
@socomartinez3381 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr. I appreciate your advice.
@feelingsdecoded
@feelingsdecoded 4 жыл бұрын
These are the important skills needed for ever lasting relationships. Very well explained.
@TheBrownFaceBE
@TheBrownFaceBE Жыл бұрын
Almost three years later and this video was still very relevant and helpful!! Thank you!
@LadungsBlitz
@LadungsBlitz 10 күн бұрын
This stuff is gold !
@tasharichardson401
@tasharichardson401 2 жыл бұрын
I just recently came across your channel yesterday and already you have helped me TREMENDOUSLY. I have fibromyalgia from having extreme generalized anxiety for most of my life and didn’t know what it was. Thank you and prayerfully one day we can speak. Be blessed🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@mabelomoregie1146
@mabelomoregie1146 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your teaching
@ZacharyLee
@ZacharyLee 2 жыл бұрын
Super insightful and very helpful.
@SuperGuanine
@SuperGuanine 3 жыл бұрын
Just stumbled onto this while wasting time. (Not meaning it is wasting time to listen and learn from you.) I learned a LOT about improving my practically nil listening skills plus about how some Others around me could also improve. Of course I know to work on MYSELF not try to judge, criticize anyone else's ways of doing anything. Thank you for your clear explanation(s) which you have so generously shared. Santa Monica, California
@waiifii22
@waiifii22 9 күн бұрын
Okay, definitely need to watch this video! Thank you!
@biang9296
@biang9296 3 жыл бұрын
There goes me not listening, but day dreaming of me listening as a future counselor 😢🥺 help lol. But I agree with all that you have said, very informative, relatable, and extremely helpful.
@steggopotamus
@steggopotamus 22 күн бұрын
To a degree the daydreaming is your brain trying to rehearse what you would do in the situation and compare it to what you want to do. Right? So, if you're just talking about the video pause it for a second, and if you're with a patient, make a personal note to consider the issue later on your own time. If the daydreaming keeps going get an evaluation or two.
@YoHahn-xk3bz
@YoHahn-xk3bz 4 жыл бұрын
NICE!!! Great Tools... Merry Christmas & All that Jazz :D
@julianicole3581
@julianicole3581 2 жыл бұрын
This video was so helpful! Thank you
@lianaadrong4341
@lianaadrong4341 9 ай бұрын
Thank you. I need to practice my listening skill.
@brittanycamille6460
@brittanycamille6460 18 күн бұрын
Wow I’m so glad I found this content. I appreciate your insight! ❤Thank you!! 😊
@Cotfi2
@Cotfi2 13 күн бұрын
You got Hank Green energy.
@patreshezz2229
@patreshezz2229 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr. you’ve helped me so much before a role play session for counselling.
@nicb4296
@nicb4296 4 жыл бұрын
Merry Christmas everyone, have a wonderful day :) Thank you for all the work you have done this year Dr. Ali Mattu.
@gardencali-arkansasstyle6995
@gardencali-arkansasstyle6995 18 күн бұрын
Thank you Doctor. This is good ~clear~ instructions.
@Yasaaara
@Yasaaara 11 ай бұрын
love this so great
@bryanoldenburg9870
@bryanoldenburg9870 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your valuable advice, delivered in a friendly fashion!
@natashavernon9828
@natashavernon9828 3 жыл бұрын
Amazing video!
@anitavandenbossche2188
@anitavandenbossche2188 Жыл бұрын
Love it!
@bosspoisetv3269
@bosspoisetv3269 Жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@ndchieh
@ndchieh 11 күн бұрын
Brilliant.
@nickbradford482
@nickbradford482 2 жыл бұрын
I love your channel. Thank you for sharing.
@dawnbryant8778
@dawnbryant8778 3 жыл бұрын
Excellent advice for therapist i’m a practicing counsellor and it’s so easy to get lost in your patient’s storey and the want to give advice and rescue. Thanks 🙏 I needed this grounding today x
@georgemcginnis4395
@georgemcginnis4395 Жыл бұрын
Thank you! As someone that has a lot of work to do on becoming a better listener for all around me, this was incredibly helpful. I will definitely be working on the four tips provided; with 'understanding the ambivalence' being perhaps the most important one to my given circumstances.
@jasminehuynh941
@jasminehuynh941 Жыл бұрын
This is a really informative and helpful video! You are great at explaining it. I found after reflection that I thought I was a pretty good listener, but after this I realize I'm not as great at listening as I thought I was at all and that there was indeed much room for improvement. I want to be able to be better to those around me-- even though I already think I'm pretty good to them.
@akashmaity_22
@akashmaity_22 Жыл бұрын
I learned, thank you
@medlifey1170
@medlifey1170 Жыл бұрын
Is Validation the oposite of Gaslighting ?
@gayanehmandani1294
@gayanehmandani1294 4 жыл бұрын
thank you for all the tips! i took a non violence conversation classes about 3 years ago and i just connect everything you said to that. once you start practice and just do all that to yourself then it will become easier to communicate with others. and i really want to become a psychiatrist and im gonna watch all of your videos!
@dougbowles6672
@dougbowles6672 2 жыл бұрын
I found your video to be really helpful in HOW to listen. I am completing a Master in Counselling in Australia and quite confronted by the microskills associated with active listening. You made it much clearer. Thank you so much.
@rodeyrode
@rodeyrode 20 күн бұрын
Thank you, thank you!! I work in community health and this is super helpful and applicable. Subscribed!
@selflove96
@selflove96 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing
@janicetaitt5313
@janicetaitt5313 2 жыл бұрын
Very clear and positive it's very difficult when the person you are conversating with repeats their experiences over and over a long period and this video will help me to help a brother to reflect and seek a nother male to talk too as it's really surprising how grief effects males as to some females I've listened too. This video is also helpful as I often wonder why certain deaths in my family has not effected me at all how I was able to except death from a younger age . Much gratitude I'll keep looking at your playlist fantastic and very warming .
@RainbowNoodles12
@RainbowNoodles12 2 жыл бұрын
thank you for sharing your knowledge :)
@chukwuemekaukpabi9522
@chukwuemekaukpabi9522 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your outstanding videos!!! I look forward to listening to more in 2020. In the meantime, I will attempt to finish watching the rest of your videos on your channel.
@AquaGangGang
@AquaGangGang 18 күн бұрын
Thank you so much! I started talking about myself lately. I don’t understand why yet but I will learn and grow.
@theman2017inc
@theman2017inc 9 күн бұрын
I am 4 years late into discovering your platform (Sunday, May 19th 2024) Another interesting channel alongside Orion Taraban, Psy.D (Psychacks) Ramani Durvasula (Doctor Ramani) and Kenny Weiss. Will definitely delve into your backlog/ library of posts, sir. Happy Sunday from London, UK.
6 skills NEW THERAPISTS must develop to BE EFFECTIVE
19:19
Doctor Ali Mattu
Рет қаралды 93 М.
10 quick anxiety relief techniques
22:18
Doctor Ali Mattu
Рет қаралды 776 М.
ДЕНЬ РОЖДЕНИЯ БАБУШКИ #shorts
00:19
Паша Осадчий
Рет қаралды 2,3 МЛН
Normal vs Smokers !! 😱😱😱
00:12
Tibo InShape
Рет қаралды 113 МЛН
ОДИН ДОМА #shorts
00:34
Паша Осадчий
Рет қаралды 6 МЛН
Когда на улице Маябрь 😈 #марьяна #шортс
00:17
Reflective Listening: How to Be a Good Listener
8:35
Therapy in a Nutshell
Рет қаралды 139 М.
4 things all great listeners know
5:07
TED-Ed
Рет қаралды 1,7 МЛН
6 Verbal Tricks To Make An Aggressive Person Sorry
11:45
Charisma on Command
Рет қаралды 22 МЛН
lofi hip hop radio 📚 - beats to relax/study to
Lofi Girl
Рет қаралды 19 М.
How To Really Listen To People | Jordan Peterson | Best Life Advice
7:57
WordToTheWise
Рет қаралды 1,3 МЛН
BEST and WORST cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
6:19
Doctor Ali Mattu
Рет қаралды 72 М.
Basic Skills of a Counselor
10:51
Mometrix Academy
Рет қаралды 505 М.
How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It
10:25
Harvard Business Review
Рет қаралды 1,2 МЛН
3 Hours for the NEXT 30 Years of Your LIFE | Best Motivational Speeches
3:29:50
5 Ways to Become A Better Listener (In Your Next Conversation)
7:48
ДЕНЬ РОЖДЕНИЯ БАБУШКИ #shorts
00:19
Паша Осадчий
Рет қаралды 2,3 МЛН