Yes. It is very discouraging. Luckily, there are still some people with morals and integrity.

That's horrible! I don't understand how people do that to someone they are supposed to love (the granddaughter). Hopefully karma was a bitch to her!

I’m so sorry. How did you ever recover a relationship with him after something like that?

@@jill9606Oh, boo hoo hoo! You’re sooo dramatic. I’m sure he recovered just fine. His dad taught him an important lesson about trust. Don’t trust anyone. At least he didn’t beat him to death. Bahahahahahaha!! This situation happens a lot in families. It’s certainly not unheard of. Maybe that money kept a roof over their head. Don’t be so judgmental.

@@chrisnanopoulos9905 Ew, I can’t believe you said that in public. Saying “at least he wasn’t beaten to death” is the absolute most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not dramatic. That isn’t a ton of money, but it’s the deception and manipulation that sickens me. I would have a hard time ever trusting him again if that were my dad.

@@jill9606 Get over it, you fool. This is nothing compared to what some kids experience in their lives. It’s a reality check that you don’t want to talk about or deal with. Ignoring it honey, and being ignorant doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It’s about perspective and realizing you actually didn’t have it as bad as you thought you did.

@@jill9606Grow up. You have a lot to learn. Reporting comments or deleting them, only adds to your ignorance. A ton of money??? LMAO!!

Yes, me too. Huge huge violation of trust.

The problem usually is they are so toxic and controlling … they run you down to your entire family - and you lose everyone of your family members. That’s how narcissists operate. Happened to me, my father bullied his way into my small design company- took control of the banking and accounts, and stole hundreds of thousands. Then fled overseas - and bad mouthed ME to all my family and made them choose sides. That was 18 years ago.

Yes cut him out and can't blame you and wish you a lot of happiness and prosperity in your life!!!

What was the idea behind paying your dad the cash instead of directly paying the loan. Even if 100% he would pay it and whatever, why go through the headache of exchanging money in and out.

How is it a headache to sign over a tuition reimbursement check to your dad who is standing in front of you? If he had the account number and information it would be just as easy to pay it himself, i agree, but the dad is a loser so of course he said “just give me the money..i’ll pay it.” He got conned by his dad as a kid who trusted him.

I know of MOMS that do this. Sickening

scum bag parents. there are a lot out there.

My dad did it.....I was 18/19 years old and had just got into college....my dad took $700 from me and told me he would give it back when he got his worker's comp settlement check.....fast forward to when I got married, he "borrowed" $1500 from my husband....it's been 9 years and still haven't seen that money

Jeez can't imagine treating my child like that

I just posted that exact thing. Pay mom in cash, yes, because she gave you cash, but dad didn't put out any money at all. Why pay him cash? It doesn't make sense.

Yes it was weird from the beginning

@@AllynHin Youthful naivite. He paid the mother and used the same procedure for the father. I guess he was like, I get the reimbursement, send each parent their share and in the end my father will pay down the full loan amount and I will not have to look it up, how much I got reimbursed. It was a bit weird to do it that way - but if the father would not be a scumbag it could have worked. People usually only start to pay down student loan after graduation (even if they would have the money).

My thoughts exactly. It doesn’t make any sense. I don’t think we’re getting the whole story.

@@franziskaniThe loan was in the son’s name. He’s doing an extra, unnecessary step. Why not pay it directly? It really doesn’t make sense to me.

He was entitled to it actually, being that it wasn't written in her will. That is a bit different than straight up stealing money from your kid.

Boohoo. Do you still get the houses when your dad passes?

That's tough, but sadly not unheard of.

@@Jackaroo.Not entitled, but legally speaking, he wasn’t bound by law to hand it over.

@@Jackaroo.morally speaking, I don’t see how that’s any different than stealing from your kid. If I give you $10 to give to your son, and you spend it on yourself instead, did you not just steal your sons $10?

Oh my God the betrayal he must have felt. I’m so sorry

@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 thank you 🤗 I’m making up for it as best I can

I hope karma comes for your son's father for the irreparable hurt he did to those he should have loved and respected 😥

He is a child based on his behavior.

A bit late for that. He was determined to be a scumbag POS years ago.

If I'm not a man, then my son is also not man.

@@galileykwong7017 So you’re defending this pathetic, ratchet, weak, cowardly behavior? Ew. How are you not embarrassed

@@galileykwong7017how are you not embarrassed and ashamed to be defending the dad here?

@@charlesgraves5609 Father knows best.

These people need Jesus. I’m so sad so many people have been screwed over by their dads. I’m grateful to have a normal dad and that I have a husband who would never do this to his kids. Pure selfishness reigns in this world today. God help us.

My father in law wouldn’t work a steady job he would only do odd c/m jobs and construction enough to halfway pay bills and lived on food stamps because he wouldn’t work and support his 4 kids and one daughter he had from an affair..and me and my hubby his son always worked 9-5 jobs to make a living like half the world and he always said he’s never work a 9-5 job but what was so funny was he always borrowed money from my husband and I told him it’s funny how you won’t work a 9-5 job but you sure have no qualms about asking for money from people who do..lol..may his lazy self rest in peace, lol

How much ? My daughter came to me at 18 And asked would I help her with college Now she has a masters degree and no debt. I’m weird. I paid. LoL

When it comes to money and property, everybody's a son-of-a-bitch. Words to live by.

Not everyone. Some people LEAVE their kids properties. There are a lot of good parents out there. But there sure are some son’s of bitches too lol.

Never heard of a school doing that. Pretty cool way to teach kids about saving and interest.

omg he did what? I feel so bad for that ugh that is sad

@@sprint7412 It was common in many schools in the late 1950s. I still remember my old bank account number from decades ago!!

It’s $50 bro 😂

Keep watching! Dave is a encyclopedia of knowledge

Ur kid is lucky to have you

Yes, that was weird, they could have put the money aside in an account to have it ready when "dad" is going to pay when the loans are due. Lighten his burden because the son did good and got reimbursed for tuition. Note how the son was eager to do the right thing. I guess he trusted his dad and by sending him the money right away after he was reimbursed for tuition, he did not have to keep the files. So the father only had to pay what was open in the end and they would be done.

Young, and dumb, and trusting of your parent??

Dad probably suggested it. I trusted my parents blindly at 18

Totally! Why would he not have gone directly to the bank to make his own payments? I feel like there’s some missing information here. Maybe it was a student loan, but not a Student Loan, if you get my meaning.

@@createone100 I do think it was a legit Student Loan. From what other people have said, I think the son just blindly believed what his dad told him and his naive 18-yr-old mind didn't question it. The caller even made a comment about how things are different now that she's in the picture. I think when the caller saw what was happening between her husband and her FiL, she put a stop to it but the damage had already been done.

ASS !!!

I believe we might be going for something where the sun don't shine.

This wasnt a thing in the 90s. Those were not even in decrees

The court may not care.I’ve discovered the hard way that my ex can violate the orders over and over, and no one cares, especially the courts

She said 'verbal agreement' which implies it is not legally enforcable unless he admits it in writing or under oath.

@@shea455 She said the parents agreed to split the cost. That may be reduced to a court order.The VERBAL agreement was for the dad to pay the son’s loan off. There may be a family court order for him to pay half of the son’s tuition, in which case he violated it in a very calculated and circuitous manner, deserving of a finding of contempt.

Actually he didn't know. He was a young adult, the financial irresponsibility most likely showed up in the marriage, so his mother would know. On the other hand it is possible that the father got worse after divorce. The only "excuse" if you will is that the father may have addiction problems. Then all morality goes out of the window. Which means an addicted person must be viewed like a vile scammer and all interactions must be based on that. Yep, they would steal the phones or other valuables during a visit, they will never pay back the money they borrow, and yes it is possible that they will secretly open a credit card in your name and hope that you will not involve authorities (it is a federal crime, but family members OFTEN get away with it, because the relatives and children shy away from getting the parent into prison). Dave had callers that were dealing with that. One mother ruining the credit of her daugther. She got credit cards in the name of the daughter who then was still a teenager and of course the mothergave a false date of birth (all of that is a federal crime). And of course never paid it back. Daughter had no idea, and only found out when she was a young adult. She had the choice between getting her mother into a criminal investigation with possible jail time and even MORE costs (then she would not have to pay and her credit score would be restored) and paying the few thousand dollars down and protecting the criminal mother. And of course the daughter has to have an eye on the credit cards that are issued in her name, in case the mother pulls such a stunt again. And there was the caller whos grandmother had done the same.

@@franziskani you could be right. Thank you.

Because his dad took out the loan in his name and said,”just give me the money.. i’ll pay it.” so he could spend the money thinking he’d be able to deal with it later BECAUSE HE’S AN A-HOLE and so cos.

Nope. It’s a gentleman’s handshake agreement. Not legally binding

Acutally their might be court order (divorce) that he had to pay for the college education. THEN he could be made to pay.

It is not only that the father failed to pay for the college education. He STOLE from his son. The son got his tuition reimbursed. And the did not keep the money, he passed on half of it to his mother (who gave him money on a regular base, so she kept her promise) and half of it he gave to his father (while the father had not yet paid anything, but there is no interest on student loans, they are only due a few months after graduation (resp. then they have to start paying). Since the father had promised to pay the loan in the end, he was entitled to a part of the reimbursement or to getting the outstanding amount reduced. The son should have put the money on an account that he controlled, and let the father know it would be available when the loans were due, resp. the son should have paid that amount himself. Of course the son - showing integrity - had no idea his father would steal from him.

@@franziskaniif the father doesn’t have the money - there’s nothing that can be done. The son is young enough, knuckle down, pay it off - and never look back. The father is the one that will lose out - he’ll be a lonely desperate old man I’m sure, and you better to not have any relationship from here on.

He probably didn't promise he probably had to inorder to see his kids. Don't think he did it maliciously.

Glad i dont go to church

Or, just be like my mom and tell people you paid for your kids' college despite not paying anything for your kids' college. Just do that. She never even worked, either. I hate my mom.

Went to church for 35 yrs and never heard anyone brag about paying their kid’s tuition. Cheap shot.

I’ve been to many many churches over the years and have never heard anyone bragging about paying their kids college tuition. Maybe the office? That’s not a thing that would even come up in church unless someone was asking for PRAYER about where the money would come from for college tuition(which sounds wacky but that is a thing that people in some churches do.) It’s such a funny thing to imagine. I wonder where you got that idea from.

Dad's involvement was to play a long game to get $17k from his son. And it worked. I would liked to have heard that conversation in which the dad convinced the son to give him the cash and he'd repay the son's loan. Like, how did that conversation go that it made sense for the son to do that?

@@AllynHin The son did the same with the mother and it worked. (mother sent him cash on a regular base and whenever he got tuition reimbursement he split it and sent her her half and the father his half. The son could have kept the reimbursement and mother could have skipped a few of her payments, but they didn't do that either). I guess the son found it easier from an administrative point. I settle the reimbursement issue right now, in the end the father will step up for the full amount when payments are due. He has already gotten his part of the reimbursement. Easy. The son should have put the money aside and paid it himself when payments started to be due and just tell the father what was open. It is possible that the father promoted that plan - because he had a cash flow problem and the money he got from his son was used to solve that. The father is either a compulsive spender, does not work, or he has an addiction problem.

@@franziskani Yes, but the mother gave him cash for his tuition so it makes sense to give her cash back out of his reimbursement. The father never gave him money at all and told him to take out a loan. When the reimbursement came in, it doesn't make sense to give his father cash. It makes sense to put that reimbursement on the loan.

There is no base for respect and the emotional attachment is also harmed.

We're talking about people who would give up if they have to save up for more than a couple of months =before paying off a cent of debt. We're not talking about the full emergency fund, we're only talking about the starter emergency fund

That's the initial contribution to the emergency fund. The point of the $1k is so you don't have to worry about a basic necessity cost. The full emergency fund is 3-6 months of expenses depending on your specific situation.

You haven't looked at the whole process. The initial $1k emergency fund is to cover emergencies while you get out of debt. It helps you to not fall off the wagon (when the hot water heater quits or the car won't start for example) while you're attacking your debts. Once your debts are paid off, you do a fully-funded emergency fund of 3-6 months of your household expenses.

Nope, as long as you have higher interest loans, it does not make much sense to have money sitting around (with little interest). Son and wife have good credit. 1000 USD is for the unexpected expenditures, plus they have money coming in on a monthly base, so they can juggle a bit if they have an unexpected cash flow problem If a lot of things go wrong they can always borrow 4000 USD - if need be on credit cards - and pay it down swiftly. (that's not much interest, if you settle that within 1 month). Mother and son DO have financial integrity. Mother could afford to support him on a regular base during college. He got tuition reimbursement and always sent her 50 % of it (the other half he sent to his scumbag father). People like him always have friends that have a little money aside and people like them do not get into financial trouble (that would be avoidable). If fate strikes big time, 4000 or 10000 USD are not going to save them anyway, then they might need to touch the retirement savings or take out a loan on the house. If they ever have a cashflow problem your friends and family can be the emergency fund and they can do the same for them (and neither of them needs to put a lot of money aside). I have been on the receiving and giving end of "short term help with cashflow. And it always was paid down. (You just need to KNOW the character of the people that borrow money). I also helped out friends with 500 USD and I know they most likely will not be able to pay back. By no fault of their own in financial trouble - those 500 USD will turn out to be a gift most likely. I can afford that, and it does not put a strain on the relationship. Glad to be able to make their burden a bit lighter.

@@AllynHin The problem is that costs have gone up, so $1K is no longer sufficient as a starter emergency fund.

I just commented with the same question. There is something this lady is not telling us.

@@neutralcommenter7800 maybe it was a parent plus loan but then it wouldn't affect them in buying a house. But still if it was a condition of the divorce to split the kid's college tuition why would he pay either of them back.

The son got a tuition reimbursement. Mother gave him money on a regular base, and whenever reimbursement came in the son gave her half of it. And the other half was meant for the share of the father - only the father had not yet paid anything. Student loans are only due to be paid (starting payments) a few months after graduation. So that the father had not yet paid anything was not suspicious. Not only that the father did not contribute anything to the college education (and this might have been part of the divorce settlement, not only a handshake agreement) - it got worse. The son also sent the father right away his share of the reimbursement. This was the big mistake, son should have kept the money on a separate account and should have paid it himself after graduation. I think the son found it easier to do from an adminstrative point of view. Give the parents their part of the reimbursement right now. Mother continues with the regular assistance (she did !) father will pay the full loan amount - the money that reduced that burden he had already received. No one had to go and look at the old files, etc. If the father would have honored his word it would not matter, that this was a weird arrangement. If the father would at least ! pay back the money he had received from the son ... No he is not a twerp - other names come to mind ....

Eva use he was a trusting 18 year old. His father took advantage of him. He’s a snake. I’d never talk to him again ever

You didn't understand the call.

@@jackiechoate6163 Only 17k of the 62k of debt was from the father student loan situation. The father has nothing to do with them spending more than they make.

Anytime someone asks you to pay for something up front and they will reimburse you, it is B.S. If you want to help them, start with what you can afford to lose. If they pay you back, they've earned your trust.

@@gene_takovic57and he couldn’t afford a $33k wedding to start with so how did he think his father in law could afford such a pricey wedding?

The relatives would assume that the father had financed the wedding and it would look good for HIM. While he made the young couple pay for it. If he had told them upfront he could not afford to help them finance an nice wedding - he would have lost prestige. (In some communities it is a big thing, that the parents can afford to wed off their children in style). The father in law protected his ego on your dime.

@@franziskani Wow.

@@Shopgirl1 The father in law is a multi-millionaire several times over. Paid for 2 very expensive college educations for his kids in cash. He practically begged me to have a larger wedding. Culture thing.

If dad was that shady to talk the son into getting the loan and then convince the son to give him the cash to pay it back.....and then didn't pay it back, he sure as heck isn't going to take out a loan to make this right. He was playing a long game to get $17k from his son and it worked.

@@AllynHin to bad the son has to figure out his dads a pos. The fact that the kid even gave him the money back and left him on the hook. I got my first loan at 16 and my dad co signed for me. Gave me the speech about becoming a man and paying my bills. The loan was for a car he was selling. Then took that money opened an account at the bank and got a $4500 or $5g loan. Gambled it away then a few months later he’s complaining that they want him to make the payments on the loan. I remember him saying I’m paying the interest they should be happy with that. So from a young age I have always had debt. Been debt free once and now still there. I’m goal is debt free again.

Actually Dave says to save for your down payment and the rest can be a loan, if it is your primary residence. It is when he is talking about buying investment properties, he says cash only.

It is a little confusing. Unless he needed to pay for the tuition at the beginning of the semester and he earned the money during the semester then paid them back for what they paid. However the father was probably a parent plus loan so when he paid his dad back for upfront money his dad just did a loan.

@@danielrn133 If it was a parent plus, it will be in the fathers name, and not his.

@@jimmymcgill6778It isn’t a parent plus 😂😂😂😂😂 you always wanna slam Dave & take the side of weird people. Stop it. This is cut & dry

Sell that car.

@@OopThereItIs77777How about you learn to read and understand what you are reading.

Doesn’t matter. The Dad lied about the Money, which is the whole point. The Dad putting the impression that he’d pay for it and not doing it was pretty pointless

She said, “He lives paycheck to paycheck and always will.” That’s a sign he lives beyond his means.

He lied to the son. That is not right. Doesn't matter if they make enough money or not.. and he is a thief.

This is 100% on the dad... The caller even said the dad lives paycheck to paycheck AND also missed payments on his daughter's tuition... This dad is a POS and I agree with Dave 100% on this. What's worse is the son GAVE the money back to his dad at the end of each semester and the Dad DID NOT pay off the student loans with it. That's some major BS right there.

Sounds like you’d probably do this to your kids if they made enough to take care of themselves…

Clearly you bought Japanese.

No

Second.....

😂 Quick on the gun I see

To bad her father in law is a deadbeat.

The wife has his interests at heart - the father not so much. As Dave said: I can see why your mother divorced him.

Dave was very friendly to call him a "twerp" - he is a scammer. Even if he has an addiction (which I suspect) - he could at least abstain from scamming his close family members. He might never be able to honor the promise to pay for college (btw that may be in the divorce agreement ! so the son could get a court order). But scamming his son out of the reimbursement is next level.

Huh????! What does no cap mean? I remember the slang when I was in middle school and that was ages ago.

Hey Arnold! Lol 😂

​@@Llama_vet😂😂😂😂

​@@truegrizzlesfan2292 "no cap" means something along the lines of " no lie" or "I'm not exaggerating"

@publicenemy201 she's either a keeper or a lunatic and I'm not sure which one it is but, she's clearly not normal.