My brother wanted to borrow $5k from me so I asked for his wife's diamond engagement ring as collateral. I'd put it in my safe deposit box and they'd get it back when the last payment was made. Never heard back from him regarding borrowing any money after that.

If you're a high earner, never brag to your family about what you make or will be making....

One of the best pieces of advice my Dad ever gave me was never give any money you expect to get back.

I let my sister borrow 5k and she never paid back. Money and family don't mix.

My dad always used to say "I don't borrow money, I don't lend money and I don't co-sign."

I borrowed money from my mother to help with closing costs on my first home. Was about $4000. I paid the agreed $150 every month, on time. Yet she still holds the loan over my head and tells my other family members about how she “had” to loan me $4k when I didn’t even ask for it….. money and family definitely do not mix.

If the couple has 500K they should never tell anyone that-EVER!

My sister “borrowed “ a lot of money from our mother, and now I am helping to support my mother

I just finished paying off my sister. I appreciate the loan, and she was cool loaning it to me, but I never want to be there again. It didn't feel good to be there.

I grew up poor and when I turned 18 I joined the military and have lived my entire adult life debt free. My family has not stopped begging for money my entire adult life. I rarely talk to them or visit because of it.

Just don't lend money, unless you don't expect to ever get it back.

I just tell people I'm broke. I had to cut ties because my sibling said I'm the reason he can't pay his bills because I didn't co-sign a $20k loan 🙄

You don't owe your sister anything because you are financially able.

I remember something Ann Landers said in a column years ago and I've stuck by it. Never loan money, if you can afford it then give it as a gift and if you receive it back then you accept it as a gift. Good advice!

When my family used to ask me for money I started to refer them to my “financial advisor.” They don’t ask me for money anymore. I don’t hear from them much either lol

Agree with this take. Dont loan her the money. Give it if you can but only pay what she owes directly. And you need to see financial improvements first.

Just say no. My aunt and uncle tried to borrow 5k from my widowed mother because she already sold and was in assisted living. They had a 900k house but no money management skills. We put a stop to it.

You either just give it away with no expectation of ever seeing it again or just say no.

This mans situation is a mirror to mine. My brother is likely the most irresponsible and angriest person I have ever known to this day. Consistently in debt. 2 failed marriages. Always asking for money; resenting those who do not help. The world owes him a living. He's the victim in this world and these are the hands he was dealt. He screwed me over at out of $1800 at a younger age, I never forgot! He eventually failed one of his marriages and had to move in with me; I let him move in but this time under certain conditions... "Sign this contract and pay me rent for simply living in my house" Oh how he despised me. Word... for... word... "I should be living here for free!". I kicked him out and haven't spoke to him for over a year. I plan to continue that until death.

I have learned to tell my family that I can’t loan money anymore but I will set them up a budget and show them how to get out of debt.

Dude is swimming in money, and the sister knows it. This is how you stop talking to relatives for the rest of your life.

Been there, done that, lessons learned. We've followed Dave's advice for years now, if we can't afford to give you the money, we don't have it. No loans!

I don’t lend anyone money I’ll buy them food if they are hungry

I get off the hook by telling everyone (especially family), "If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm bust."

I have a sister who never seems to have money. But everytime I give her the money, she ends up In debt again. It’s a vicious cycle

I had a brother 10y older than me. He called me one time and asked to Borrow $3k. I said I don’t have no $3k. He said u can use your credit card? I said no.

Great advice from Dave. The end goal of the Ramsey plan is to be “outrageously generous”. Do it out if love.

I stopped loaning money out when people stopped paying me back. I love these people Too much to let money get in the way. ❤

Never lend money to family. You give a 1 time gift. That’s it. And never speak of it

My parents always say if the bank won’t lend them the money neither should you. If you do be prepared to lose the money and damage the relationship

Someone saying no to you can be freeing. The finality of that answer forces you to step up and take control of your life.

I just love it on how Dave demands to get into the persons business on where that money is going. I think its a great idea. Make it painful for the person if you are going to give them money by getting into their business. that way there is less chance they ever ask for money again. also giving the money directly to the bills, not the person.

Kevin O’Leary has a great answer to this: I will give you the money on one condition: that you never ask me for money again

Never lend more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift anyway. And if they ask for more money, remind them of their earlier unpaid loan.

Up front she will agree to anything it takes to get your money. Afterwards she won’t follow through.

My sister wanted to borrow $5K. I said no. We no longer communicate. That's fine with me.

I would add that the caller and his wife need to be crystal clear that more money from them in the future is absolutely off the table, don’t even ask. Be clear with the sister that this is a “one time good deal”, but that when (or if) she is ever ready, you will pay for her to go through Financial Peace University. But this is the end of the road when it comes to money, otherwise she’s going to get a taste for brother’s wallet.

Yeah, I loaned my brother 2k a few years ago. He still loves paycheck to paycheck and can’t pay me back. I basically told him not to worry about it and I don’t need it back (I make pretty good money and I’m not gonna lose sleep over 2k over my brother). My brother and I are very close and I’m okay with it. But if _you_ won’t be able to get over it and it’s going to cause a rift, then don’t do it. Basically I look at it as gambling. Only put in what you are willing to lose and hope for the best. I was fine never seeing that 2k again and helping out my brother. Your mileage may vary.

I’m not a bank so I don’t loan money. Conversation over.

It goes by the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" sad but true. Lending money to family creates nothing but problems.

I’m on board with what Dave says. Everyone needs a budget. It does not cost any money, and makes it possible to manage your money.

Don't loan her the money. Pay the attorney directly! That is fine, I think.

People just need to learn the word No. Oh you’re mad? You never want to speak to me ever again? Good, that’s your choice.

Never lend a friend or family member anything you wouldn't give them. That way, when it's not returned, it can't upset you.

Never loan more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift.

This caller sounds haunted and sick over this. My parents always shamed my older brother who borrowed money, so the rest of us siblings viewed borrowing as shameful. None of us do it.

giving someone money to help them with their expenses when they don't make enough to cover their expenses each month will only keep them coming back for more money. they have to go out and make more money to be able to take care of themselves

You pick your friends, not your relatives.

Most people don’t change - 20+ years ago I went through a brutal divorce; In order to avoid “lifetime alimony”, I gave my wife virtually all our assets. Today she is essentially broke, living in a trailer park and depending on our children for financial help. Two years ago she came to me asking to borrow money to pay medical bills, promising to repay me “as soon as I receive payment from a pending inheritance”. My head said no, my heart said let’s give her a chance. I paid a couple of substantial medical bills for her, said payments understood to be loans - For me the sum lent was easily affordable - a tiny percentage of my net worth. After learning that my ex had indeed received the expected inheritance, she informed me that she had no intention of repaying me as much as “one dime”. I was disappointed, but not surprised. 😁

Right Dave. Pay the attorney not her.

Never loan family money. You will never see any of it back

I had to borrow from my brother in an emergency. I have paid back 63% in about 10 weeks. I never want to do this again so I started listening to Dave Ramsey stuff and reading his books in hopes to change how I manage my money.

Don't give her the money. Pay her attorney, or her rent or another bill directly.

It blows my mind how people are comfortable asking to borrow money from family/friends

Anyone else catch the part where the caller said that his sister had been through divorceS but I didn't hear where Dave & cohost brought up that fact. To me it's a very important point, one thing for a sibling to go through A divorce but this not being her first rodeo seems important especially given the rest of the call.

Money changes a family relationship into a business relationship. Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same if he does this. Bad idea

Both of my parents borrowed a lot of money from me when I was a lot younger and naive, unfortunately I never saw a dime back. If your friend or family loves you they would have never asked in the first place. Don't lend money out and cut out the people who are asking you, just say no and bye!

If you lend money, be prepared to consider it a gift. You will never be paid back.

Co-host really doesn't have a clue what it is like to struggle with(out) money, yet makes it seem like knows everything about it

I had a family member ask to borrow money. I gave them the money and said if you repay it ok, it you don't it is ok. They repaid it and told them to keep it for an emergency fund.

If you can give it as a gift, go ahead. If not as a gift….don’t.

My grandmother always told me, "Don't loan money. If you can't afford to give it to them, you can't afford to help." This reasoning has saved me many hard conversations I've seen people have to have. 🤷🏾‍♀️

My parents never loaned us money, if we were in a jam they would give us money and trusted us to do the right thing with it and we always did!!

I can’t imagine asking my siblings for money. Just wouldn’t do it. I want to be the “strong” one.

Not only do I not loan money but I don’t give it in situations like this. I have in the past and they come to expect it because they haven’t learned anything to change their behavior.

I agree. If you are a high earner don’t tell your family members.

I remember one of my sisters used to ask to borrow a hundred bucks all the time. Told her no every time, even though I felt guilty at first. Thank goodness I didn't have money to give her at the time, cause I was too nice enough to do it. The more she asked, the easier it got to say no.

Don’t ever lend money to anyone if you can’t afford to live without it as there’s a chance you may not ever get it back!!

It's almost like you get punished for being financially responsible...friends and family want your money and make you feel guilty if you don't give it to them.

I would love to get John's reaction to this call. Seems like her money problems are just the tip of the iceberg. Walking beside someone like this could be excruciating without professional help from a therapist. You can hear the reluctance in his voice because he knows in a year from now it will be a repeat situation

My sister needed to borrow $10,000 and I know I'm the last person she would ask . 10 seconds in, I told my wife to write the check no questions asked BUT under one condition. You tell me the payment plan(your decision) so we both know how and when it is to be repaid so there are no hard feelings. She agreed and I sent the check right away. Months later, asked what the payment plan was , she yelled "I'm working on it!" and "I told you that I'd pay you back!) She eventually paid me back but I NEVER got a payment plan. Not because of this but We are no longer on speaking terms.

I don't always agree with Dave Ramsey but this is brilliant advice.

Never loan money to family or friends. If you are gonna give someone money don’t expect to get it back

I lent my sister $500. She didn’t know that I gave it to her because I knew she couldn’t pay me back. She talked about paying me back that money for years. It was so annoying. The good thing about this scenario is that she can never come to me again for money because in her head, she owes me. Why have her think any different? 😂

I just loaned my sister $8,000. If she pays me back, then great. If not, that is ok too. I love my sister & am very close to her!

I was buying a condo once and my mother told my brother about it. I received a $2400 check in the mail from my brother. I asked him what was it for and he said Im giving it to you for your condo. 17 years later that $2400 turned into a 10k loan that I never paid back. This along with other big reasons is why I dont speak to him anymore

I loaned my sister €2480 a few years ago. we made a monthly plan. I kept track of it. And she is now debt free.

The only person who I ever lent money to is my mother when she was buying her retirement home. That was only because I knew when she got the money from the house she just sold was going to pay me back. It was a matter of a 24 hour time period or she would have lost that home that she now lives in.

I have a buddy like this, falls under the enabling category because he never improves. For 5-10 years now. He looks towards family and friends he can mooch from and is always crying poor. So I don't enable

Poor Richard's Almanack: "Neither borrower nor lender be." Ben Franklin got the line from Dave Ramsey who sat behind him in the second grade.

A good ending story about loaning money - Long before I met my wife, back when she was a struggling single mom, she loaned a friend $1,200 to help her with her mortgage, bills... After 20+ years she had never asked her friend for the money nor did her friend offer to pay back. One day her friend called and wanted to get together for lunch. They had a nice lunch and before they went their separate ways afterward, her friend handed her a card and told her to open it when she got home. It was a heartfelt letter thanking my wife for her help long ago when she was about to lose her house. With the letter there was a check for $5,000. That was several years ago, and my wife still has the check. We're pretty well off. The sincere thank you, and knowing her friend is OK is good enough with her.

I agree with Ramsey and his cohost. Do NOT lend her the cash. But help her by paying her bills directly providing she makes the observable changes in her behavior. Start by keeping rent current and utilities, then the lawyer but monitor the lawyer who might be a buffoon. Do not lame her ex husband because he is the dad for those children. But cooperate and get it done. But she has to cooperate. She will be unwilling as her ego will protect her against everyone.

This is exactly why no one in my life knows how much I make and how much I have saved. I live like I'm a broke 23 year old.

Tell her to get a loan from the bank. You already said she has no budget, you wiil not get the money back.

She doesn't make enough money to pay her daily expenses, never mind the past bills. How is $5,000 going to even help?

Live more poor than your family, so they think you don't have money. Or say, "I will give you this money, but never ask to borrow money from me again."

Gifting it to family without the expectation of payback is one thing. Loaning money to family with the expectation of payback is another thing entirely...and staying 100 miles away from that is the way to go.

“She makes money, but it all goes to bills, and living expenses” uhhh, welcome to life.. lol smh

My family has a history of lending money among ourselves. It works for us, though, because we are all sane, stable people who set it up to be beneficial to both parties. The interest rate is set to be lower than a bank's lending rate, but higher than a savings account's. That way, the borrower saves money and the lender gets a little bonus.

Never lend money to people who ask. Also give or offer to give money to those who never ask.

I would never hesitate helping siblings during tough times - its interesting to see how other cultures handle these matters

This situation sounds exhausting. Instead of giving her money, offer to pay some bills. Tell her to hand you her latest bills instead and see how she reacts

My dad gave me a good piece of advice when I was a kid when a coworker asked him for $50. He told me that if you are ok with losing it, lend it accepting the fact you will never get it back. If they give you the money back then you know they can be trusted, if they don't then they can't. This situation is with family and alot more money, but in their financial situation I think they should give the money expecting to not see it again.

If I had 5000 and my brother needed it I would gift it to him. He is very good with money so he probably wouldn't ask but I would gift it to him no strings attached. ❤

Only let someone borrow what you can afford to lose. I don’t let people borrow money.

Never loan family money. If you have it, give it to them. If not, don't.

Makes me glad my sisters make more than me

It’s not like it’s a moral failing to need $5000. I think most people need that amount of money. Life happens, and everyone doesn’t have it together. Things can get rough. If I had that situation, I would definitely give them the money. It’s not harming me. It’s benefiting them. It’s a win. Especially if it’s a one-off.

My Brother and I Always borrowed money from each other and paid each other back if we got in a bind. Same with my 1 cousin. The key us we are all pay each other back because we are trustworthy and hate owing people. Sometimes life throws you a massive curveball and that 1k emergency fund isn't even close to enough to get you through it. I just borrowed my cousin $800 yesterday. The key is never to borrow money you expect to get back. Consider it a gift but don't tell them that.

Well put Dave! I concur.