It shouldn’t be called a “true story” unless Pinocchio actually hangs himself like in the original book- Edit: don’t believe me? Look it up, it’s true

As a young aspiring writer, nothing gives me more confidence then knowing that I, a high schooler, could write a better, more compelling story, characters, and dialogue than a team of fully grown adults can

Old Pinocchio: learning about morals This Pinocchio: wants to get laid

"we don't really know what the characters want exactly" Well the cat just wants to fuck shit up apparently

The funniest part about this movie to me is how literally all they did to make him look and act wooden is add a faint wood texture to his skin. Nothing else. Like, his model is just a normal-ass dude with a wood overlay. He looks no different when he becomes a real boy.

Imagine making a Pinocchio film where his nose doesn't grow when he lies. That's like his defining trait other than being a puppet. It's so ingrained in popular culture that there's even an emoji for it 🤥.

I love the cat man. He wakes up and chooses violence every day.

Three things I've learned: Excellent voice casting, yet they couldn't take their jobs seriously (likely due to the bizarre story) Animation is patchy with its visual balance The cat needs to take a gun safety course

The cat is the best character. He's the only one with consistency. He shows a consistent need to destroy things. Just like a real cat.

As a voice actor myself... this voice acting is so embarrassing and a good lesson on how NOT to voice act.

Can we not forget about that beautiful line that Pinocchio made? “Ugh, father, when can I leave to be on my owN😩.”

Pinocchio: a wooden boy Cat: *So anyway, I started blasting* You could say Pinocchio's voice actor's performance was... _wooden._ This is literally the kind of movie you'd find on DVD at a gas station or Family Dollar

The saddest thing is that the Netflix Pinocchio (which has about a billion times more effort put into it), with its brilliant stop motion animation and it’s great voice acting, being overshadowed by THIS. Edit: Yes, the one on Netflix is the Guillmero del toro one.

The main thing that bugs me about the movie is he doesn't look like he's wood. No joints, no blocky structure, no wood texture.

im still bitter that like after LITERALLY NOTHING FOR DECADES, its only when guillermo del toro releases the date of his years long passion project and suddenly we are INUNDATED with pinocchio after pincchio tbh im convinced its some bizarre conspiracy theory, its just bonkers timing otherwise

Honestly, I feel like this is supposed to have been an adaptation of "Buratino", which itself is a Russian adaptation of Pinocchio. And it differs quite a bit. Firstly, Gepetto is a super minor character who shows up only for one scene. He comes to his friend Papa Karlo and give him a piece of wood. Papa Karlo, I'm turn, carves a wooden doll out of it, which becomes Buratino. Papa Karlo then gives Buratino a schoolbook (or some money to buy one, I don't remember anymore, tbh, it's been almost 10 years since I watched it), and sends him to school. On his way Buratino walks across town, comes across a circus, and in his wise-ass 1 day old brain, he decided to instead spend the money on a ticket to see the circus. There the puppet master named Karabas Barabas spots Buratino in the crowd, and decides he wants him for his circus, since technically Buratino is a puppet. There Buratino meets Malvina (the blue haired puppet), and a couple other characters, including a depressed clown who's name I don't remember. Buratino eventually escapes the circus, and runs into two beggars/scammers named Basilio and Alisa who are, respectively, you guessed it - a cat and a fox. They trick Buratino into believing that if you "plant" gold coins on a specific field, they'll grow into a money tree with hundreds of coins. Once Buratino "plants" the coins and leaves, Basilio and Alisa instantly dig up the coins and pocket them for themselves. I don't remember what happens for the rest of the movie, except that eventually all the circus puppets run away from Karabas Barabas, join Buratino, they find a key that opens a secret door in Papa Karlo's house that leads to a dungeon full of treasure, blah blah blah, happy end.

And somehow Pinocchio being straight is still the biggest plot twist of this movie

"I'm real and I'm AliVe!" Also the fact that,despite being Pinocchio, his nose doesn't grow when he lies, which is the entire premise of the original source material

Pinocchio not even reacting what so ever to the gun being pointed at him is such NPC energy...I love it And after her rejecting him...Pinocchio got even fruitier than before

Saber: “This is the first of, like, four Pinocchio films coming out, and probably the worst.” Disney: Hold my root beer.

For better understanding of characters you can read about “Buratino” - Russian version of Pinocchio. It’s where are evil puppetmaster, bandits cat and fox, and Malvina, a girl with blue hair, from. Also, Buratino’s nose never grows when he lies!

The cat is definitely the best character. He just shoots Pinocchio a few times and that's his personality.

As someone going into the character design field, it's so horrific to be picked to create and design a character concept, and be so proud of it, then it becomes this. I feel for the concept artists 😭

That scene where Pinocchio gets shot, besides being hilarious, is so weirdly animated. Like if he got shot by a blunderbuss at point blank range, he should go flying backwards at breakneck speed. But he just sort of slowly goes out of frame? It's like they actually over-animated it, there's too many frames so the motion feels gentle and slow. They did that for the bullet too, you can actually see it's ENTIRE journey across the screen! I don't understand why they did that because that's genuinely more work than just doing maybe five to ten frames: impact, halfway off screen, fully off screen, done. It's so odd.

This and the "GiVe hiM tO mEE, aUGH~" barbie movie weasle are two of the funniest things I've seen in animation, and they weren't even intentionally funny

I love how the cat just flat out attacks everything, like: minor problem? No worries just pull out the gun or set fire to the freaking circus!

8:35 historical saberspark moment imo The way he breaks after saying "based" broke me as well

The cat and the fox are essentially every Chaotic Neutral player's character in every Tabletop RPG LOL, love it.

For me, it looks like that while they call THIS Pinnochio, they butchered not the original story, but old USSR adaptation, called "Buratino". Some design choices are stupidly similar

Hey, so uh, you probably didn't know, but this story isn't actually based on Pinocchio. It's based on the Russian version "Buratino" that was made when outside content wasn't allowed in Russia, the Soviet Union, or something. The story starts making more sense when you know that, because in Buratino there WAS a blue-haired girl, a talking cat with guns, and a talking fox. The main focus of Buratino was also the gold coins, so that makes sense... Oh, and the author of Buratino had to change the stretchy nose thing, so that's sort of redeeming. The story is more understandable when you know Buratino, maybe you should check it out. Also, I am not defending this movie, it's just that nobody knows about this, and I think it's important to know before criticizing the movie's plot, thank yew.

I am Russian and when I saw the "Cinema Fund" logo, I was like: "Wait, wha? How?" So a bit of context. Cinema Fund is a government run organization that funds films. But every movie that's ever came out under this "brand" was a total shit. Every single one of them, no exceptions. Plots are crap, acting is crap, directing is crap, everything is crap. And government funds them with millions of rubles. So my advise for the future - if you'll ever see this logo again, just throw it into "Failure" bin right away without even finishing watching the trailer for the film.

Pinocchio (1940): an animated classic movie with heartwarming emotional and fun. Pinocchio A True Story: it randomly exists…..

This feels like one of those 2000 movies made by an mediocre indie animation company that you would randomly find in Cartoon Network and never heard of it again, until many years later you heard someone say "hey, does anybody remember this movie or it was just a dream i had as a kid?".

The entire budget went into the girl's hair physics.

Saber calling the cat "based" and dying laughing filled my day lmao

Your laughter halfway through is so infectious xD I love that the memes and the awfulness of this film can bring us all together lol

As a Russian, I can admit: we are incredibly ashamed of the subpar projects that our cinema fund sponsors, while actually inspired film students have little to no chance of bringing vision of some quality cinema to the world:/

I love seeing you lose it while describing the plot XD

"Pinocchio: A True Story," as a title, gives the same vibes as "The Legend of the Titanic." They also have similar production qualities.

I once had an idea for a story where Pinocchio is an adult golem created by a Jewish Geppetto out of grief over the recent death of his own son. The "Blue Fairy" is the Angel of Life (counterpart to the Angel of Death, of course) who appears after Pinocchio animates, explaining that he can never truly have life or the rewards that come with it. Therefore, she makes a pact with him: Battle supernatural evil for a time, in exchange for "True Life" and a complete soul.

I showed the trailer to my sister and she was disgusted by it. I teased her with it. Not anymore. Still nice that I could do it. *Also, no one can do the ✨ worldussy ✨ line as good as Pinocchio*

YES My brother showed me the trailer for this and I immediately looked to see if you had done this video, and now you have and I am happy lol

The cat pulling out the gun and shooting Pinocchio is by far the most American thing I've seen.

I swear this movie was created back in the mid 2000s as a response to Shrek, was found after house cleaning, and released today because why not.

“You sir, are a monster.” “No, I just didn’t get enough sleep.” *This is genuinely accurate.*

Everyone: "Haha, a straight character has an ultra gay voice (due to an effort to lack emotion in his voice apparently?) and it's funny!" Company: "Wow! They really love our voice acting and think it makes sense!"

Little did he know this wouldn’t be the only awful reboot of pinnocio this year.

Can we talk about the sexual tension between the horse and Twinkocchio? Like he LITERALLY asked the horse to be his daddy and the horse asked Pinocchio to CHECK HIS ASS. Maybe to finally put that nose to use.

I was telling my sister the story of the movie and she interrupted me saying, "So Gepetto gave the Fairy a wand and she gave him a boy. (¬‿¬)" And now I can't stop thinking about it...

Best parts: “It’s just me” “Byyye daddeeee” “Skadee skadee skadee” “Yes tiblet🙄 I have a most special and treasure dream” “Your a fine example tiblet” “I’m a boy and I’m ALIVE” - Every time he refers to a girl - when he was promising his horse daddy he would be a good son - his singing segment

The cat: Ahhhh, a wooden boy? The cat: Shoots Pinocchio The video: cuts straight to ads

Fun fact: there are actually two english dubs for this movie. One made in Russia, and the one that we know, where they redubbed Pinocchio, Jeppetto, and the horse, but kept everyone else

Imagine being interviewed about this movie: "Which character did you play?" "Cat with a Gun" "And... what sort of character is he?" "Didn't I just tell you that?"

Fun fact, the voice actor who plays pinnochio also plays one of Max's friends in the goofy movie the one with the cheese spray

They really did the stereotypical “Roma stealing children” trope with the ringleader? In the 21st century?? God damn!

*Anything happens Cat: "So anyway, I started shooting"

The problem is that the story is a weird remix of Buratino, which was a Soviet cartoon based on a book by Aleksey Tolstoy, and Buratino is actually really good ( and there's a live action with BANGER songs) , BUT it's good because there is a cohesive story, while this one is a mash up nightmare with horrible voice acting 😆 not to mention that Buratino has a very cute and old times Soviet styled visuals, while this one brings me to tears. Sad tears. ( oh also, this Pinocchio's nose isn't growing because neither does the Buratino's)

This movie is an instant classic. It's right up there with The Room and Troll 2.

How does Saberspark sound more like Pinocchio than Pinocchio sounds like Pinocchio, starting to wonder if Saber was the real one doing the voice acting.

Everytime he talks about the voice acting in this movie is like him having ptsd attack

I’ve been so terrified to the actual movie release that I forgot that is *was* going to be released-

i love how when the cat shoots pinnochio the girl literally said "oh, what have you done? you killed him." like, super calm. Then he just wakes up and she stop talking the rest of the scene, just staring at him with *no expression* until he gets away casually. WHAT WAS THIS SCENE???

We all know Tom Kenny just did it For a quick Cash grab ever since spongebob movies stopped.

This was better than any Disney or Pixar film since the 90's. Pure fun. We need more of this stuff.

People deserve to demand better out of the media, seeing such low quality content pisses me off and seeing people actually caring about it makes me even angrier, in a disappointing way

the cats character is consistent. I fuckkng lost it at "the cat freaks out, throws FIRE at the tent." dude chooses violence every time

I actually really appreciate Saber going into technical cinematography principles, being the camera buff I am.

This seems like the movie that I’d watch to laugh at how bad it is

Lol the voice acting in this film is simply outstanding.

Pinocchio getting shot at is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen

I love how utterly insane he sounds. He sounds like hes about to get put into Arkham

I couldnt even imagine watching a movie where the voices rarely line up with the animation.

I loved the part where pinnochio pulled out the worldussy to kill the villain Edit: how did i misspell villain

This is the literal definition of a straight to DVD $5 bargain bin at Wal-Mart movie.

6:35 to be honest... irl cops kinda do that

Saberspark is genuinely getting emotional on this one, I can tell 😂😂😂

The biggest gripe I have with this movie (besides the Voice Acting of course) is that Pinocchio doesn't even look like a Puppet! Maybe it's because the movie has this cheap looking cartoony artstyle but Pinocchio doesn't look any different from any of the other human characters except for maybe a subtle wood texture.

My favorite part of this movie is when the girl's hair physics inexplicably changes entirely in one scene and turns back later like nothing happened

The twist is: Pinocchio survived the fire because he was wooden on the INSIDE. Hence the wooden voice performance. Brilliant.

Saber losing it in this video is everything 😂

Pinocchio is so fruity I wouldn't be surprised if he was made with the wood from an apple tree.

Imagine if the movie was released in theatres we gonna need some safety warnings

lmaoo your laughing between explaining was the funniest thing I've seen all week for sure

Watched this with my friend for her bday "Fruity Pinocchio" is what we call it and watched it literally just to make fun of his voice. truly magical.

10:36 I'm glad to see the Neighbor from "Hello Neighbor" doing movie gigs these days. Goes to show how much you can get done with your life if you stop lounging around and building magical bullshit contraptions in your home. Truly inspirational.

I can actually explain the Cat and Fox thing along with the blue-heared girl and the poor composition issue - it was made in Russia. First of all - in Soviet Russia there was a long standing tradition of "translating" fantasy books into fairy-tales. The trick is - the translation was made by the professional writers, who got the gist of the original, but then - came-up with their own stuff. This is how the girl Malvina was born, as well as the Fox named Alice and the cat named Basil who work for the circus master. As for the poor compositioning - it's because of the specific Russian animation pipeline. You see - animation is expensive. So the only entity that can sponsor it in Russia is the government, but you have to please the local government people into convincing them, that you are making something great. And usually it happens during the storyboard stage, when you draw some nice 2-D pictures that showcase the environments and characters. Problem is - in order to please the government people - you have to dazzle them with details. And as you do - they keep strict watch, so that the end result would look same as the storyboards. And if you try to blur it - they get pissed off, since "We never agreed on that - make sure ALL THE MONEY are visible". Thus - you get that shit.

That horse has a more expressive face than everyone else in the movie

This gives me a TON of confidence with my own stories 💚

Saber breaking down into laughter so hard about the cat trying to shoot Pinocchio throughout the movie is the greatest thing I've ever seen in a review

This film manages to do the unthinkable: it butchers the plot of both original Pinocchio and Soviet book adaptation and then mashes the corpses into something abysmal and boring.

The cat: damn, i have a minor problem that isn't that big of a deal! Seems like I'll have to use my *revolver*

that was the BEST place to put an ad. i needed a couple seconds to laugh anyway

the sheer comedic timing of Pinocchio being shot and flying off screen and then an ad playing

7:07 Considering it's Russian, it's definitely based on Buratino, the Russian retelling of Pinocchio, and that story is about puppets escaping the circus run by a tyrannical puppet master and opening their own circus without it, no fairies or growing nose and no one turns into a human. However, this movie isn't accurate to that book either. There's no cricket, the blue haired girl isn't a doll, and there was no talking horse.

I watched this movie last night with my friends and we just couldn’t keep quiet, it was so awful, we will never get those hours back In one of the first shots of Pinocchio entering the town it shows a door on a house and some stairs nearby and both of them are physically incorrect

I am so very happy the live-action Pinocchio movie Disney put out isn't of the same quality as this.

Seeing the trailer for this movie, I genuinely thought it was some straight to disc movie made in the early 2000s that I'd find at my local library,

Solved the “plot” Magic is illegal due to the increase of robbing people describe the cat and fox as sentient toys. The investigator were at Pinocchio’s house because they heard that the fairy was in the area. They pin Pinocchio as the robber because he’s a sentient toy…

Cat: “So anyways, I started blasting.”

i think its a mix between pinocchio and a Russian tale based on pinocchio, buratino (and mixed with some ''creativitie')