Do y'all think there are worse Halloween movies out there? If so, post em below and be CURSED

As a native Hawaiian who has lived in Hawaii my entire life, those are some of the whitest Hawaiian kids I've ever seen.

"Looks like the volcano is erupting tonight, have fun kids." Is actually probably the most real Hawaiian this movie gets.

This is extra amazing considering King's Hawaiian isn't even a Hawaiian company. They're from Cali.

The sad thing is, those sweet rolls literally look like they're pulled out of a Resident Evil game. Made them as realistic as possible, but they don't look appetizing. They look like they're melting. The part that's supposed to be light and bready is lumpy and discolored. There are flecks of dark green stuff that looks like mold. The tops look sickly and discolored, and seem like they would be rock hard.

King’s Hawaiian sweet rolls aren’t bad, but the movie is.

Why does the main character's model looks like they based it off the Bible Town boy model and just altered it by a bit?

Off-brand Groot attacks island suburbia and is defeated by 3 kids, multiple Sonic the Crackhogs, low-resolution villain from Moana, and Avatar people from Walmart.

'Menehune' are apparently like, dwarf-like beings that live in secluded forests and valleys, far from human civilization. They're apparently highly skilled craftspeople that could build houses, canoes and even entire temples (heiau) in the span of a night. Lava-Lady is almost certainly Pele. She's powerful and passionate, but can be intensely jealous and is super capricious, like "Hi'aka, you're *my sister*, stop spending time with Hopoe instead, I'll kill them-". Meanwhile the Nightmarchers are the ghosts of ancient warriors, who come forth from their burial sites/the ocean, and march to sacred places, beating drums and blowing horns and carrying torches. You can't stop them, basically they'll keep going until they get where they want to go. If you watch them or show disrespect towards them you die a horrible violent death. If you ever encounter them, you're supposed to basically throw yourself on the ground, face-down, to show like, fear and deference to them. It's also said that if one of your ancestors was among these warriors, you're safe. EDIT: My limited reading suggests that sharks have a neutral or positive overall depiction in Hawaiian legends. Pele’s brother Kāmohoali’i, the shark god, would appear in front of lost ships. He would guide them home in exchange for ‘awa (Kava root drink). I’ve also heard of Ukupanipo(who guides fish to fisherman) and myths of men who can become sharks.

"HE'S STRAIGHT" was so unexpected. Comedic gold.

As someone that lives in the southern US, the fact that Kings Hawaiian went through all this trouble just for advertising baffles me, considering how people would fight each other for the hawaiian sweet rolls here. Edit: What the hell is going on in the replies?

“Dumb grandpa, gods and magic aren’t real. I’m gonna go casually see the anthro lion man now”

Imagine if you actually went trick-or-treating and someone gave you bread rolls.

For a movie about bread, this movie sure didn’t make a lot of dough.

As someone who is Hawaiian and lives in the state, this movie is actually more funny than racist, stereotypical and stupid. The stereotypes are really far away from the truth and I just find it hilarious. We also got Punalu’u sweet bread that’s slaps better than them rolls

You can just call this Cultural Appropriation: The Movie, especially when they butchered that Hawaiian mythical creature so hard. 😂😂

As someone who was born and raised in Honolulu, I find this movie offensive in a soul crushing way.... make it stop!

The idea of some furry handing out unpackaged Hawaiian sweet rolls is honestly terrifying

They also got the Nightmarchers mythologically incorrect. They’re malevolent spirits of ancient Hawaiian warriors, so chances are, they would’ve been killing the kids with Pineapple Head. Oh, how I wish that would’ve happened.

How they made that character say "I love King Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, they're the best" sounded too much like a sponsorship omg

"I don't care if the hamsters look like Sonic versions of fruit stripes bubble gum!" LOL that is so painfully accurate

Mark Hamill has to live with this movie being on his record

Gotta admit, a company that’s mainly know for producing bread was definitely one I was never expecting to make a freaking animated Halloween film.

9:16 are we not gonna talk about how well edited that was?! 🤣

King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are fire, but this is just a crime against humanity.

Of all the actual Hawaiian folklore in this film, what’s up with the pineapple head guy? Like, okay, a pineapple-headed monster, sure, but why attribute it to ancient Hawaiian folklore when pineapples aren’t even endemic to Hawai’i, and so a story like that wouldn’t even exist? Why not make the story about the Nightmarchers? Their whole thing is that they march at night (obviously) and if you step in their path, they’ll walk over you and kill you, or kill you outright. If you hear the beating of their drums, you have to hide away inside, because it means they’re close, and their march is relentless and ceaseless. That would be a really cool opponent or obstacle for a story set on Halloween night. They could’ve even played down the nightmarchers by having them just steal people who get in their way, and maybe the kids encounter them while trick-or-treat-ing and have to get away, or they could make it really whimsical and the nightmarchers are out, but the kids insist on getting their candy and hijinks ensue, or something, I dunno. I just think that Hawaiian folklore has a lot of genuinely creepy and interesting aspects to it (as with every culture), and they could’ve actually done something interesting with it instead of… whatever this was.

A Halloween movie set in Hawaii does sound like a decent idea in my opinion, especially if it incorporates actual Hawaiian mythology, but this is certainly not the way to pull it off! Wouldn’t you agree?

8:00 No, bigger question, WHY DID HE WINK AT THE CHILDREN???

"these King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are great! King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are my favorite! nothing beats King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls!" ~Brock

To be fair, king’s hawaiian rolls are delicious. Id buy twenty if leather tiger was their mascot

God damn, Arcana Studios finally mastered Jimmy Neutron-level of CGI. Only took 20 years.

You know, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a real thing. People dress up as pirates and get blackout drunk to honor a ball of spaghetti with two eyestalks, two meatballs, and no idea what he’s doing. I’m not kidding.

This video taught me many things, the most important being that the hot Hawaiian lifeguard from Lilo and Stitch is a thing and has thighs that look like they can crush steel bars.

Yup, this is basically what I expected a film made by a brand of sweet bread rolls would look like, though the furry was a bit of a surprise.

“There are three things you can never discuss with people: religion, politics, and -The great pumpkin- The legend of Hallowaiian.” -Linus

Saberspark: "We're all going to die." Korone: "Oh I'm die. Thank you forever."

I love how, as much effort as went into the rolls, it went into a single roll, and they multiplied it. Wouldn't have killed them to at least rotate them a little more so you don't see the same side's texture facing you from all the rolls.

Sometimes I wish I never subscribed to Saberspark because he exposes you to movies that make you want to gather all of the TVs in your house and start a bonfire.

At least the characters actually have facial rigging and don’t stare awkwardly into the abyss

The only time I accept “make that bread detailed delicious and beautiful” is when yakuza did it

I know I am very late to the party on this one, but did anyone else catch at @7:20 that the cougar man's chest becomes transparent and you can see the door frame through him?

The Bread rolls were probably 3D scanned.. it wouldn't have costed much to make them look good

Volcano Lady I think is suppose to be Pele. The Hawaiian Goddess of Volcanos. Pretty sure they took considerable liberties with her through

Dude, you should be a professional movie critic. You do a REALLY thorough breakdown of the entire movie, you pose a lot of good points about the animation, the dialogue, and story.

Scary Godmother was my favorite Halloween movie as a kid, and I got sad they don't air it on cartoon network anymore. I just found it so funny Saber saying Jimmy could take that pineapple dude, LMAO.

"Mom, can we get the Halloween episode of Lilo and Stitch?" "We have the Halloween episode at home." The Halloween episode at home:

This reminds me of the fact that there's an RPG called Darkened Skye that exists to promote Skittles.

Fun fact! The lava lady in the movie is known as Pele! She’s the Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes and the creator of the islands! The design they choose for her is absolutely crude though. As someone of Hawaiian decent, this depiction of her is heinous.

Wait, so is King's Hawaiian taking shots at Dole Pineapple? "So there's a cougar furry in leather who bakes fresh sweet rolls and offers them to guests." Yeah, I probably know that guy. Hearing this breakdown from someone who is totally unfamiliar with Hawaiian mythology was (no offense Saber) was hilarious. Lava lady!

It's not a scary movie at all but the designs are terrifying.

The lava lady is most likely Pele, the Hawaiian volcano goddess. *Flexes Hawaiian heritage*

That moment when someone catches you infiltrating r/LGBT: 3:45

I love how you can tell the sweet rolls are all the same exact model because they couldn't be bothered to rotate any of them more than 45 degrees.

Scaling up an 80° volcano in sandals. The Hawaiian side of the force is a pathway to abilities some would deem... Unnatural

"He's straight" truly horrifying

I love when Saberspark gets legitimately mad at a crap movie

Hey Saberspark! There's a pretty underrated 3D animated movie called "Ternet ninja" or "Checkered ninja" which is pretty edgy but doesn't hide the fact that it has now become one of my favorite animated movies solely because of it's "uniqueness". It'd be nice if you could review it at some point, thanks!

"The Lava Lady" appears to be Pele, the creator goddess, as well as the goddess of fire and volcanoes. But, that's just speculation.

Can you imagine a mainland American equivalent? “I love these slices of Kraft Wonderbread! They’re the best!” Also did the furry have a completely i acknowledged sentient ghost boyfriend??

I kinda like the Pineapple Head's design in its cheesy simplicity. It feels like it could be a boss from some old PS1 game. Like game creators going "what should the boss in this tropical island setting be? Uhhhh...a giant with a pineapple for a head."

(6:57)I add as a resident of the island with the most active volcano that you can continue your daily activities even if the volcano is erupting BUT you can't go anywhere you want near the volcano there are some restrictions (sorry for my english its not my native language🙇‍♀️ )

The sync with the kids mouth movements at the LotR reference made me think that was what his actual voice sounded like for a sec. And I actually didn't think anymore on it until he said "ring". Just straight up using adult voices for these kids is totally something that could have happened in this movie.

My lord, this movie contains traces of a good idea. Its attempting to do horror with mythology. Mythology in any culture has tons of scary stuff you could use, you could emphasize the Hawaiian lore aspect, and try to be more faithful in the interpretation. And some good writing could make a good hawaiian horror movie.

8:57 Saber sounds like Medic from tf2

Surprised I haven't seen anyone mention that the King's Hawaiian rolls aren't even made in Hawaii They're made in Torrance CA LOL

NGL a Furry in leather pants handing out sweetrolls sounds like the dream neighbor

"Oh no! He's straight!" *proceeds to die of laughter*

Agent: It's animated Mark Hamill: Yes...

we sell this movie at my work and every time I see it I think "this looks like something saberspark would review" so u can imagine how glad I was to watch this video

wait wait wait, I'm not hawaiian, but from what I understand with the lore of the Night Marchers, isn't interacting with them the LAST thing you want to do? like you're supposed to bow when you hear them coming to show reverence level of interaction.

This movie was pretty much a really long ad for Hawaiian rolls

My parents always taught me not to take any candy that was opened or looked suspicious. If a person gave me sweet rolls as a halloween treat I would take it to not be rude, but I would throw it away when I got the chance, cause what if its poisoned or something?

"Oh my god,he's straight!" Favorite line in the video

This Lilo and Stitch live-action remake looks very disappointing.

As a hawaiian living in hawaii I must say that kings hawaiian sweet rolls are made in California so pls don't blame us for this movie monstrosity but damn are they good

I'm going to be honest though, I would've taken one of those bread rolls, they're so good.

*6:47* Respect +100 For this guy.

Okay, so. 1) The neighbor's model is from an OZ based movie, which means he's probably supposed to be The Cowardly Lion. 2) He judging from the way the children react, he is not always a lion, and it's a full moon, so he must be a were-lion. 3) He has no mane, which male lions normally have, indicating a lioness. Conclusion: the neighbor is actually a trans-male werelion, living in Hawaii. Now how's that for an interesting movie idea?

Does anyone else think when he did lotr oversound the lip sync was near perfect?

9:53 I think that is supposed to be Pele the Hawaiian goddess of vulcanos

Kid: "Man, I really love these sweet rolls!" Furry: "You want to see some real sweet buns?" Kid: 0_0

There's one good thing that I got from this movie...well, it didn't came strictly from the movie, more like from the review: since Saberspark mentioned Hawaiian folklore and some creatures from it, I got interested in that. I love folklores and folklore creatures, so I'm always happy to learn about the more obscure ones

I worked at a deli when this was being promoted, and we sold a lot of King’s Hawaiian products. The little hedgehog creatures were on the packaging.

"Fresh Baked Films." Those rolls aren't even freshly baked when you get them at the store.

fun fact: I was planning on moving to vancouver after college and I was researching animation studios, and Arcana came up. Hearing you say "Arcana studios" gave me flashbacks I don't even know why I was researching, I'm still in high school edit: oh shit 2 things that I know of. I have Displate metal sheet art of portal. Although the magnets no longer seem to want to stick(after what, 2 years?), I have accidentally slammed my door onto it many times and it hasn't a single dent in it. I honestly wish I had more sticky magnets but whatever, storing it in my closet for the time being seems all right.

My cousin spends a lot of time at my grandparents house, and basically lives there, so they buy a lot of movies. Some of them really good movies, but also stuff like this. For some reason she loves this movie. And guess who has to do the chore of watching this movie with her?

OOOOOHHHH We like to buy Kings Hawaiian rolls for thanksgiving. I remember seeing this on the package. I did not know it was an ACTUAL MOVIE. Wow!

I would unironically watch a review of the Steam Engines of Oz movie tbh

About that lava lady we see in the film, well she is part of hawaiian myths too. Her name is Pele, and she is the goddess of fire and volcanoes. Still, like the rest of the folklores we see, she isn't really put in the best light...

Wow King from Tekken really went down hill after his wrestling career.

I think this is one my favorite videos that you've made, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

8:09 but the bread doesn't even look good, it looks stale and old

The dialogue in the furry guy scene is so weirdly paced, i expected Tommy Wiseau to show up and ask to buy a dozen red roses.

Looks like Tony the Tiger is going through some rough times.

I remember watching this movie a couple years ago with my family. Treasured memory. We can no longer pick up kings Hawaiian rolls without saying "it's the perfect hallowiaain treat!"

Think my brother had one of those "metal posters"- also supposed to be sturdy and attach to the wall in a similar way; one day it decided to fall down, and axe itself into the floor with a huge gash that surely could have cut off or at the very least crushed, some toes..

This man cannot escape the furry grasp of these movies So anyway, I call King’s Hawaiian bread “Orange Bread”. Because of the bag. I’ve done so for 15 years, I will do it for 100 years more.

"Make our generic looking sweet rolls look good." Fails measurably.

"He's STRAIGHT.." Oh no "..evil!" Oh good

If I got a lifetime of King Rolls to act in the movie, I so would. Their rolls are amazing.