I do worry about your sanity. Not because of the books, but because you think something can be dogproofed

I deadass thought the 64-squares book was an accounting textbook.

I adore how the main character reintroduces his name and titles at every possible chance, but you still refuse to call him anything other than "the narrator"

"Diehard, but it's about accounting" would make a killer monty python sketch.

Ironic: he could save others from reading bad books, but not himself

Theory: the author used search and replace to switch all instances of "I" with "I, Tutus Uno, word salad" and did not care how much of a repetitive clusterfuck this turned his narration into.

Howdy. Auditor here. I've read 64 Squares, and the author's knowledge of accounting is painfully lacking. If he has those titles he's supposedly earned, he 100% had to do some "favors" for the people who examined him.

Finally, Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, has a worthy opponent.

"This book is like 85% setup, and maybe 5% conclusion. Don't ask me what the other 10% is idk" The final 10% is saying "I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant."

I'm not going to lie, looking at the cover, I thought that was the user manual for an old electronic chess game.

"Another case solved till the next case that is unsolved" is my favorite line of any book

Why is literally the entire cast of characters in that 64 Squares book named like they're straight out of an Ace Attorney game

“You thought it would be Jojo, but it was me, Titus Uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant!”

when i, titus uno, ebony, dark’ness, dementia, raven way

"It was one of those non-violent games of chess" Mr. Uno are you implying youve seen violent games of chess???

nobody: my sleep paralysis demon: "i, titus uno-"

oh my god, Empress Theresa was TERRIBLE and he finished it.... I can’t even imagine what horrors lie in this book he couldn’t even finish

"i, titus uno, certified public accountant, forensic certified public accountant, and chartered global management accountant" by fall out boy featuring panic! at the disco

Pretty Little Psycho feels like what Yansim's story would be if the creator ever consumed any media other than porn and videogames.

If there's a voice actor guild, they should have a hazing ritual that is recording an audiobook of 10 random pages from the 64 Squares book.

I wonder if a good christian girl like Empress Theresa would fall for a good christian man like Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant. Edit: add in Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and you've got the best story ever

Krimson was able to complete all the Onision books, too... I'm scared. :(

This line on the 64 squares book killed me. 'My team uses the most high technology available such as: cameras to take pictures,' Dead. I am dead.

The writing style of 64 Squares is me when I’m trying to hit the minimum word count for an essay

I swear Titus Uno etc. sounds like someone you'd encounter in Ace Attorney.

Akira isn’t a murderer, she’s just making people rapidly cease existing

Every time the book says '"I, Titus Uno", all I can here is "It was ME, DIO!"

“If there is a book worse than this keep it the FUCK away from me!” *casually suggests ‘A Pickle for the Knowing Ones’ by Timothy Dexter*

Love how every other book Krimson has reviewed were self-inserts about being the ultimate badass warrior, lover or whatever. This guy is just so thrilled to be an accountant. Also is the only one to make Krimson give-up. And it's by far the shortest book. Kind've amazing in its own way. Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant: You bow to no one!

*”If there exists a book out there worse than this one, keep it the fuck away from me.”* Nah, we’ll tell you. You know we will.

I swear the author of 64 squares has a custom keyboard with an "I, Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant" button.

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" My dad is Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant.

Titus Uno also sounds like a Shakespeare character who'd be killed off in five minutes, to make way for the actual plot.

Edit: if anyone has questions for me(author of Pretty Little Psycho) you're welcome to reply to this comment and I'll get back to you. 😁 I'm glad my book could ease the pain of the other one for you Krimson. Thank you for the wonderful criticism. Unfortunately, a bit late to apply it to the second book, but I will definitely take the points to heart moving forward and work to improve myself. Thanks again for taking the time to look at it and provide an honest review! Helps me so very much. You also had me in stitches with all of the clips thrown in, especially the ones involving Takashi. ^_^

"I, Titus Uno, I'm-Not-Gonna-Read-All-That" "I, Titus Uno, More-Stuff-Than-I-Gonna-Repeat" "I, Titus Uno, Blah-Blah-Blah" "I, Titus Uno, Bullshit-Name-Stuff" "Titus Uno, Name-Junk, and the Forensic Certified Public Accountant team: These Jackholes" "I, Titus Uno, All-These-Titles-Bullshit-Again" I have no words for how glorious those are.

A real plot twist would have been if Titus had actually been the one to blow up the building due to some sort of small accounting blunder that butterfly-effected out of control

If you've ever read company accounts, this book is absolutely hilarious, as it reads like it was written by someone who writes accounts for a living - massive reduplicated elements everywhere, spelling everything out in an attempt to get all information possible onto the page regardless as to whether it actually clarifies anything. This is hilarious, absolutely hilarious.

This man writes like Mojo Jojo with a degree in accounting.

so... As per the Japanese legal system, and more importantly, the Japanese SOCIAL system, Akira IS a murderer. She took an action which resulted in the death of another person. _Circumstance does not matter._ Even if the law decided she was not deserving of punishment somehow, the social repercussions would follow her forever, and she would be labeled a vicious willful killer by everyone around her, regardless of anything else. Japanese social structure is very hyper-terrified of any kind of unlawful behavior, and as previously noted, that extends to accidental lawbreaking. If someone were accused of having once possessed any amount of marijuana for example, that person would probably be blacklisted from almost every socially acceptable place. People would cower from that person, and would refuse to go near them for fear of being associated with a _dangerous criminal._ This same sort of hypervigilance applies in kind to homosexuality. There are exceptions... but that's what they are: _exceptions._ Similarly, police manhandling suspects is not above the board... but not ... unheard of either... anywhere. However, as per the Japanese side of things, the inspector being told to drop the case because its been resolved, in spite of knowing there is another culprit... actually pretty true to life. Japan's legal system doesn't try cases that aren't a 100% conviction chance, so if someone confesses and puts forth enough evidence to prove their guilt... even if it's fabricated... that case is effectively closed... unless someone can prove that the evidence presented is invalid _before_ the trial takes place... as mentioned, if you see a trial start, you know what the verdict is going to be. The biggest problem with the tone of this book seems to be more the optimism of Akira assuming she can ever have a normal life, after having been exposed to this much drama.. because drama itself is a kind of violent crime per Japan. And, aside from that, the whole thing does have a certain air of "How an outsider would view another culture, having not lived in it." That's not to say its wrong... but it does seem more tropal than plausible. It reads on the surface like a Japanese light novel, with all the tropes and themes you can list from such... but I can't shake the feeling that, much like a Japanese writer might _choose_ to depict things in a more than strictly authentic way, this writer has... perhaps _unintentionally_ also stretched a few cultural ideas too thin, or just failed to recognize some very important ones that aren't present. I can only wonder whether this is more a product trying to tell a foreign story, or a story trying to mimic a foreign style.

1:07:27 Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison? I can not accept that someone did that unironically.

Krimson's mental health is stronger than that book throne, Jesus.

The fact that The Art of War is the most visible book on the throne feels strangely fitting for these reviews. Also, *they called their protagonist Titus Uno?!*

Squares has so much potential to be absolutely hilarious and interesting. I'd read a book about a nosey CPA that wishes he'd gotten into the FBI and fumbles his way into a terror investigation and gets it wrong at every turn. Everyone around him could be way more competent, but Dunning Krueger just keeps on trucking thinking he should be in charge. Bonus points if he accidentally solves the case.

Coming back to this several months later, and honestly a mystery/thriller novel with an accountant investigating the aftermath of a horrible tragedy actually has some promise. You could explore the psychological impact of trying to logic your way through a traumatic event, and the idea of an accountant accidentally stumbling across a massive conspiracy and being way out of his element is hilarious. I want to know what goes on in the heads of folks who write objectively terrible books. Like, do they think writing a book is just detailing things and events without needing any point behind it?

I actually thought that the Accountant book was some kind of accounting book that is required by classes in university (it certainly looks like the university books I had, I'm no accountant). The formatting looks like a thesis manuscript as well. To my surprise, is actually a work of fiction.

He defeats the "cat burglar terrorist" in this book, then faces off against the "dine and dash seditionist" in the sequel. And in the third book, his team has to track down the "jaywalking rapist".

I feel like we need to appreciate how Pretty Little Psycho writes Onision's protagonists in a more believable way than he himself ever could.

As someone who works in an accounting office, I would like to say that this feels very much what an accountant would write. I work in audit, and while not I CPA, when I heard about the building being blown up and an auditor called to figure out how it would affect the books, I though "Would you not just impair the asset and write it down to it's fair value. Which should just be $0." How is that the climax? That is like your starting point. Also his copy and paste style is likely due to how boiler-plate technical accounting writing is. You don't get paid more for writing pretty sentences so you should put enough information to get your point across. To hell with making it easily readable. This is about being quickly writable. And when it comes to infantile prose... Honestly that is the way you have to talk to most people in my field. You have to lead people by the nose and never expect anyone to know anything because that is often the case. This plot was also a terrible choice for an auditor to play a pivotal role. Okay, so I don't know what forensic auditors do. I'm ignorant on that. But, I do think that a story with an auditor protagonist can work. I mean you're dealing with money, people with selfish motivations, and working to find people trying to hide their actions. There is conflict to be had. I think it would have worked better as a more down to earth story, having an antagonist that was siphoning money from a local Mom & Pop shop. The reader would want to see these nice people running this business succeed and the culprit brought to justice. Have a bit of Sherlock Holmes investigation just with more numbers. And accounting is actually very little math. It is just addition, subtraction, and multiplying. Most of accounting is how the numbers are grouped. So explaining how the numbers effect who is the suspect does not have to be too dry. In all, the writer should have expected more out of people who would actually read for fun and not spell out every mundane event or occurrence. He should have actually spent the time to make it easily readable as opposed to the work-papers you hand to the regulating body for them to figure out. And he probably should have had a conflict that would have actually been solved by an auditor. Hope this shed some light on how an account views this story.

The second book is like if all the ‘people die when they are killed’ memes were thrown into a blender

I was in a Discord call while watching this with three others watching via screenshare. We all put down guesses as to why the explosion happened. one said he blew it up for the money one said that there was an injustice with the employees one said he was mad about being beat in a chess game I jokingly said there was some stupid romantic subplot we didn't hear from... When you stated WHAT actually was the reason, I yelled "I was JOKING!"

Imagine if the author snuck in small details where Titus did things exactly 64 times, and at the end of the book there’s an epilogue where someone reflects on something, and through that they discover that maybe the dude they thought did it didn’t do it, and it ends with something like “I, Titus Uno, name stuff, declare checkmate”, and through some logic, it’s revealed that Titus blew the building up

"The task is an overwhelming task", made me actually laugh out in the wide-open of my room.

Titus Uno sounds like he's having a god damn *STROKE*

I wanna say that as the resident accountant and forensic accounting student that The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements does not reflect who we are or what we do as so-called "people".

I actually think that the CPA "terrorist" mystery novel would make for an excellent action comedy if put into the right hands. If I were making it into a movie, I would call it "I, Titus Uno," because of how many times that protagonist uses his name pretensiously. As an action comedy, I think the protagonist Titus Uno's real name is actually Trent Umber. He in reality is a very lonely and socially isolated nerd, and he creates this fantasy alter ego Titus Uno, in his own graphic novel, to fulfill his unmet desire to be appreciated by his peers and to feel important. Trent Umber has an insane fantasy of building his own pseudo "Justice League" with his coworkers and writes about it in his graphic novel (which is poorly written and drawn). But when Trent Umber hears about a real terror attack on the news (maybe the Nashville Christmas bombing?), he gathers what little friends he has to form the vigilante hero team of his dreams. Trent tries to ineptly insert himself into this real police case doing the only thing he knows how to do: CPA accounting. He then calls himself by the name of his graphic novel alter ego, Titus Uno, and his cravings for validation and love drives him to insane extremes that push him and his friends further into the police rabbit hole they weren't meant to solve. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

As a former field technician for construction sites, the writing style resembles the structure of the daily reports I had to submit for the activity of the contractors I had to observe. I did often find myself using Copy-Paste techniques for quickly submitting the same information over and over, but that was usually data from report to report and seldom in the same one. The idea was that you wanted the report to be as detailed - and concise - as possible so that it could easily be understood, especially if it needed to be cited for something like a lawsuit. However, I at least understood the functions of a thesaurus and tried my best to keep myself from sounding redundant on a regular basis. That being said, I personally think it's a miracle that this author was able to type out this story (or any of his reports for that matter) without his computer exploding from the sheer number of errors on display in every page.

Take a shot every time the author writes “Titus Uno Certified Public Accountant, Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant”. You certainly won’t make it to the end of the book but that would probably be preferable to actually reading it

So this is our version of Doug Dimmadone, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?

Why is nobody talking about his name is TITUS UNO. Does he have a dad called Vespasian? A brother called Domitian? He is named after a roman emperor and a NUMBER.

I've been reading through the comment thread QnA from the author of Pretty Little Psycho and I'm genuinely surprised about how good their responses are to what people have to say. Even critical comments were taken well. This is how an author should be responding. The polar opposite of the author of Empress Theresa, if you will. Will definitely be reading the book (i skipped the section in this video to avoid spoilers).

I literally shouted "NO" when he started on the 4th repetition of his name and titles. This is insanity!

“There’s no way _ANYONE_ can write something worse than this” *cracks knuckles* Edit: Okay, I don’t think I can write worse than this. *uncracks knuckles*

People who read the book: are you familiar with the term delusions of grandeur Titus uno: I believe I coined the phrase

1:09:50 You can't be serious. The author is taking the piss. I refuse to believe any rational human-being would write that and go, "Wow, this sentence sure is a banger!"

You could shorten cat burglar terrorist to "CBT" to mildly enhance the reading experience

as an author, I crave someone like Krimson reviewing my work but I am also so terrified of my stuff being torn apart like this oml

The Cat Burglar guy was rejected by Pam Valentine or whatever her name was. For revenge, he decided to blow up the building. EDIT: Oh my god, that wasn't too far off-

No joke, "64 Squares" sounds exactly like the book I would expect to see if I was told it was self-published by a multi-certified accountant a good ways on the Autism Spectrum, with a fascination with chess and cheesy thrillers. Many peculiarities in the text could probably be traced to whatever guidebooks the author read and took quite literally, or to common good writing advice that frankly requires an underlying understanding of the social framework of fiction and communication thereof to successfully execute. For just one example, the incessant repetition of Titus Uno's qualifications could easily stem from a piece of advice like "if an aspect of a character is important for the story, mention it in your text every now and then so your readers don't forget it". The author obviously considers it very important that Titus Uno is not only a Certified Public Accountant, but also a Certified Forensic Accountant and a Chartered Global Management Accountant. "Every now and then" is an idiom whose actual meaning is much less frequent than its literal wording makes it seem, and it takes a good deal of well tuned social awareness to know what is enough but not too much when it comes to repetition of crucial information in a piece of fiction. Low aptitude in social awareness and high tolerance of repetition of course are both classic traits of autistic people. Lack of variation is another one, hence this information is always "told" as a litany of titles after the main character mentions himself, not "shown", or demonstrated in other ways.

Constructive criticism is key to the development of any artistic/literary enterprise

I don't think Dwight Thrash has ever actually read a book before. He just heard what they were and decided to try it out for himself.

This book is like when you need to reach the word limit in an essay, but only have five things to say.

64 squares makes my brain go "I am the very model of a modern major general I've information vegetable animal and mineral..."

Be me: Just rewatched all 3+ hours of Reaper’s Creek and all 7+ hours of Empress Theresa... HOW could it get ANY worse?

I wish Tito Uno had mentioned his job at least once, now I feel curious about what his job title is :(

For the motive guess: he had porn that he was embarrassed of having on his work computer. As he's taken away, he's yelling, " it was only one time." it wasnt

I think the guy who wrote 64-Squares never really read any fictional/storytelling book in his entire life

...was this written by Mojo Jojo? Cause that's what it feels like when this guy adresses himself lmao

I legit sat there thinking "I'm sure I could get through without laughing" - my face when you attempted that one single sentence where he declares his title over and over... haha I am done already

Guys guys guys, hear me out... I think the main character may be an accountant

So the 4th Pretty Little Psycho book was released recently and it's really good! The author went through the first 3 and did some pretty heavy rewrites so I'd really recommend taking another look!!

At least Empress Theresa and the Onision books had the decency to be absurd enough to become etretaining in a rage-fueled masochistic kind of way.

motive guesses: -revenge for being fired -in love with the valentine lady (I'm guessing this solely because she had valentine in her name) -pissed that he lost at human chess -OH MY GOD WAS HE A PIECE THAT GOT KILLED IN CHESS EDIT: OH MY GOD I DID IT

I can only hear that "I, Titus Uno..." monologue in MOJO JOJO's voice

Now that I think about it. One detail would have made so many of “pretty little psychos” problems go away. What if they established early on that Akira’s father was a locally famous loan shark, with Yakuza ties. This would explain why everyone hates her and no authority person would trust her or at least be less sympathetic to her. It also could have been used as a reason for the murder of her parents. They tried to cheat the wrong guys and those retaliated. Leaving the kids go, since they only had trouble with the parents.

As someone who was bullied had it ignored and then moved schools Akira's mistrust in teachers is perfectly realistic. My new school was different but I was still in the mindset the old school had left me in. I still let things go that I shouldn't have because "what the point in complaining no one ever does anything" despite the fact that this was a completely different set of people and when something happened that was plain to see (I was egged) the new school acted immediately instead of acting like my old school where a teacher once completely dismissed a complaint because I used the word rock instead of stone. Wish I was kidding about that but it was the incident that convinced my parent to give up on that school so it had one good result. Similarly I learned latter form an ex classmate that my old bully started getting in serious trouble in secondary(high) school because it was a different school and the teachers weren't putting up with her BS and they couldn't believe it. They where so used to her getting away with stuff that her actually getting in trouble was a shock.

Dude, make a wooden frame for the throne; just make it wide enough so you can stack the books inside, and we won't see the frame.

I think it's telling that Clef Treble saw being trespassed from the 64-SQUARES skyscraper building as a barrier to seeing Pam Valentine. In addition to the fact that she is referred to as his "friend", interchangeably with his "girlfriend", it's pretty obvious that they were not, in fact, romantically involved. Clef had been forcing his presence on her in the one place she couldn't escape (on duty at work). Without that setup, he would be left with no opportunity to spend time with her. It could be considered good storytelling if it wasn't so obviously unintentional. I'm more inclined to believe that Dwight David Thrash CPA FCPA CGMA intended to write a normal romantic scenario and managed to tell on himself. I can easily imagine him as the type of man who would repeatedly corner a woman at work, mistake her (obligatory) professional courtesy for interest, and mentally construct a love story where there is none. Edit: Oh god, I just realized that this is why the book culminates in a rant about how Clef Treble's 'terrorist attack' was semi-justified because "businesses should not be allowed to tell people what to do". I can almost guarantee that Dwight David Thrash CPA FCPA CGMA watches those videos of people going into Walmart, harassing people, refusing to leave when they get trespassed, then screaming about civil rights violations when the cops finally show up to arrest them. I strongly suspect that Dwight David Thrash CPA FCPA CGMA has been trespassed for harassing his "girlfriend" at work and wrote this book in response. "I, Dwight David Thrash CPA FCPA CGMA, would never bomb a skyscraper building terrorist attack because there is no good motive for cremating the innocent workers and people and financial documents inside of the skyscraper building but if I, Dwight David Thrash CPA FCPA CGMA did, then I, Dwight David Thrash CPA FCPA CGMA would be a little bit understandable because businesses don't have the right to tell people what to do and where to go even though they have the right because they shouldn't have the right even though its the law."

I mean, the cover just screams "JAPAN!" at you, over and over and over. First there's the sailor's school uniform, then that bridge over the straight canal, the walled off houses... it's the stereotypical residential setting for 90% of all high school manga. Then the names: Akira, Kita, Kaori, Takashi... But it was the shoes that tipped you off?

Thats why I, Cato Sicarrius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine, decided, that I, Cato Siccarius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine, would lead my, Cato Siccarius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine, squad into the eye of Terror so that I, Cato Siccarius certified Space Marine, certified Brother Seargent, certified Ultramarine could retrieve Magnus the Read and bring him back to Terra.

the villain of the second book's lame name spells CBT.

"You've got a few normal names like Greg Templar...."

My guess is that he blew up the building because he read Empress Theresa and needed to let off a little steam.

The idea of an accountant constantly trying to be a part of an investigation but only keeps getting in the way actually sounds hilarious. Too bad it wasn't written that way.

"I'll just have a small coffee, thanks." "Can I get a name for that please?" "Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant." (When Titus Uno, Certified Public Accountant Forensic Certified Public Accountant, and Chartered Global Management Accountant buys coffee)

You know the way Titus uno talks would make a good Jojo character cuz only in Jojo could that work

The part where he constantly reiterates the "I, Titus Uno, *bunch of text*" reminds me of when I had to write my Home-econs report and copy pasted the whole sentence of my aim over and over whenever it's brought up, just to reach the word count.

The more time goes by, the more Krimson resembles Jesus.

"The task is an overwhelming task" BROKE ME please send help

Accounting misconception: It's a common misconception that accounting is lots of difficult math. In fact, the math is simple, but the difficult question is knowing the proper way to record and report something. The company buys a car: can you just record that as an instant $30,000 expense? No, because they bought something that it valuable, and can be sold to regain that cash. It slowly loses value over time. On the other hand, small expenses are recorded immediately, because it would be a waste of time to record the slow loss of value for a box of paperclips. I hope that makes sense. It actually gets more complicated, though. If a small company buys a machine that costs $5,000 then that needs to be recorded and slowly written off as an expense, just like the car, because that's a large purchase *for that company*. If a huge corporation, like Amazon or Microsoft buys the same machine for the same price, that is a drop in the bucket for them, and it has very little impact on them. Hence, it is less "material" and can be recorded and tracked less precisely. So again, it's a job that is more about recording things in the right way than doing math. The math part is simple enough for the average middle school student. The other big misconception is that spending money = expense and getting money = profit. If you spend money to buy gold, you didn't "lose" money. If the value of gold drops, then you lost money and can record an expense. Since investments like gold gain and lose value every day, it would be impossible to constantly keep track of the changing value. Instead the profit or loss is recorded when you sell the investment. Going back to the earlier example of a company that buys a car: Normally, a company buys a car as a tool that will be used and lose value, so we record the expected average lost value every year, and record the actual lost value when it is sold. However, some companies might (hypothetically) buy a collectible antique car as an investment. In that case, the car is not treated like an expense at all, but more like an investment. It will probably gain value over time. Perhaps the company buys rusty antique cars, fixes them, and sells them for huge gains. In that case, the increased value is recorded as a profit when the car is sold. If somebody pays you to do something next month, then that is not "profit". Yes, they gave you an asset (cash), but you owe them something (a "liability", a debt). The asset and the liability offset each other. You only record the profit after you earn the payment. Doing the job eliminates the "debt" to the customer, so the payment is actually "profit".

The whole Titus Uno titles vomit reminds me of the old NaNoWrimo dirty trick of giving your main character a long ridiculous name they insist on being called in full at all times to help you get that 50k word mark. Only this guy did it for real and didn’t edit it out after 😂