❤️

God truly loves you❤️

This is heartbreaking I really feel heartbroken 💔 😢 😞 I pray God keep her and heal her heart 🙏

Ms Gaines has the most subtle look of disgust on her face. So SAD😒

So sad! I meet a lot of churchy, prophetess, speaking in tongue women who get tricked like this!! Male prisoners go to church a lot looking for holy women who are desperate for marriage.

Amen

🗣AMEN

@@DearFutureWifey when you said “you’ve been pouring into a glass with holes , everything you’ve been pouring into the marriage has been seeping out .. nothing sticks ! “ WOW!!! ✨⛪️ This woman is a living sacrifice

@@DanielleBelgrave93 and sadly she shouldn’t have been, she gave and gave and never received. This is not the picture of Christ and His bride that honors God. The church pushes women to be like this and they are pushed to their death beds!

@@Actavella absolutely! As a woman of God I wished she looked at her marriage through Gods eye and saw the truth .. I believe some things we cause on ourselves.. and realizing that is important as well .. she recognizes there were red flags from the beginning.. Also church is filed with a lot of broken and one track minded people .

It gets me tired !

He wasn’t healed and without a dad then sir go get help or seek the Lord till your ready. He played with her

For real!!!! Sometimes ones gotta realise that they are just a selfish person who does not know how to die to self 😭

Thank you , the amount of times he keep saying it was the unhealed version of me. Like babyyyyy the least he can do is continue to tell the ugly truth. In some ways he did but the real moments to remain consistent he chose the unhealed version of me.

Amen sis Amen 🙏🏽

Yesss and amen to that 🙌🏽🔥🔥

Gem dropped

Yessssssssss

Amen to that may God heal both of them...

I’m in tears reading this because I’m in a dark place right now concerning my marriage. I’ve been married for five years gave my husband his first and only child a son we been separated for two years. He moved out but was making an effort to spend time with us as a family and found out when picking my son up from his place that he has a girl in the car waiting outside. But reading this gives me hope. Thank you for sharing

❤️❤️❤️

wow! great for you.

@@tubegen11 I’m sorry but 2 years of separation, it’s time to move on cause he already has. Godbless you & your family 🙏🏽

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

She was already broken, he was sent by God to show up those broken parts so she can truly find healing.

WOW the pastor should have discerned somethings before it even began. It's sad and it's real bc I have been on the other side of this. I never loved the man I married especially after seeing he didn't love me based on how he treated me. And I realized I was broken and drawn to broken and that was the foundation nothing solid could be built.

Amen.

Wow… build-a-bear .. That’s good sis.

I agree with you 100%

My heart breaks for her ! The disrespect finish yourself on the wedding night 🥴 God please get your sons smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

True and for me that would be the first and last day of our marriage..

for him to go take care of yourself it was as if she was a one night stand...i was shocked hearing that like what kind of guy are you...

That is love. Keeps no records of wrongs. Love is truthful but will console you through the pain at the same time. I agree with you.

Truly.

You talking about my life too

Courageous...no it is no self esteem it is the ROLE OF THE HUSBAND TO BE THE COVERING not the wife....

GOD says with WISDOM &UNDERSTANDING Proverbs 4:6-7 Some of us learn faster than others.. because I would've pivot on a dime. He would have reaped his own words.

Amen!!

Amen me too!! And to be thankful and yet open to what God has! Listening to her though I see a codependent, that way of thinking landed her with someone with nothing to give. I have been healing from that way of thinking. Codependency is destructive. I wish she would have trusted herself instead of what the church was telling her.

I'm 38 and grateful for my singleness, God's time is the best. I'm waiting for the right man from God. Blessings to you and may God grant all your heart desires. Amen!

Linda your time will definitely come. There is NO rush.

Same

😢😢😢

unfortunately too many wmn are obsessed with "getting" married and not "being" married. it was sad to watch this .. i appreciate their transparency

I don't believe he targeted her, he was broken and even admitted it, she herself was not healed and had some hidden things from the past, its a relationship that shouldn't have taken place as it was un Godly. She gave more and it was not reciprocated. However I won't say he targeted her, they've got 2 children and I'm glad his taken responsibility for the role he played. There's good in the out come thanks to God..🙏

I met a man that kept telling me he knew I love hard and kept asking what would make me settle down ! He gave me 3 res flags, I ran like hell

@25:00 it's starting to seem like for him it was a conquest after all.. I don't think it had to do with her being the breadwinner as to why he fell out of love... that's that post nut clarit.. he got his and realized oh shat, I'm in a committed relationship, and she is not a girlfriend that I can just ghost... its not that he felt inadequate, because he didn't have funds in the beginning and at that point men usually will take the stand that they are not ready yet. But instead he proposed in order to get them draws... post nut clarity

She used her intuition to be with this man ..that's the mistake we Christian women do !!!

But God would have expose him to her. If you have a relationship w/ the Father

That part.

Facts!

True

I so totally agree with this statement, church leaders tend to overlook the red flags.

This is so true 💯💯

That was extremely sad to hear but I truly appreciate his honesty. He needs God and that's it.

Yes yes amen

It’s called a married single woman

Been there🏃🏾‍♀️

I think a lot of women have never experienced mental, emotional or financial abuse really don't know what it looks like or that it really exists. So she was in it but didn't recognize it for what it was. Sounds like she felt like if he wasn't raising his voice and thretening/administering v-iolence, then it wasn't abuse.

@@buttaflygirl05 correct. I couldn't stomach the rest of this interview because of the denial and his treatment of this woman.

Yeah, I almost turned it off because it was deep. I had to watch it though. It's up to her if she decides it abuse. She was very confident that she could never be abused so she definitely needs to dig deep about that comment.

@@buttaflygirl05 👋🏿👋🏿I agree 100 percent!!

As a community we need to reassess what abuse “looks” like. Emotional abuse through neglect is just as damaging as if he were to yell and call her out her name. It’s a slow burn in comparison to a hot fire, both damage the sense of self.

Whoooo weee...that's a sermon! JESUS!

Agreed women need to stop trying to build men, a real man will come already assembled.

Speak on it!

Aint thst the truth

That just hit my soul “are you babysitting?” WHEW JESUS! I had someone recently that I broke up with because my spirit started to be unsettled about the direction this was going to end up…..it was too much affirming when not necessary he required and other unhealed wounds that I even tried to counsel him through but his ego was too heavy to move through. I literally was becoming his crutch and therapist and deliverer all at the same time….note that we started off becoming a thing because of trauma. Never works with two broken people. Jesus help it…..I got out before it got too deep!

Thank goodness for mama being there!

May God make her another Kathryn Kuhlman, in Jesus Name.

this was really hard to watch. he's an emotionally unavailable man .. but i appreciate him sharing and not holding back

My heart hurts for her 😢 an emotionally unavailable man is extremely painful to deal with it brings on the spirit of rejection

Yup. I was thinking it the whole time. My God...

Sometimes marriages doesn't work out..I am glad that they can walk away with God in the forefront... Praying for them both.

I’m sitting here saying like he is completely checked out…what is going on?

​@@irismorgan1318 that doesn't mean he can't feel! No empathy? Nah he's cold as heck

It hurt my feelings when she started crying and he didn't reach out to comfort her..

Me too

I thought the same thing, that the church leaders failed them concerning their pre-marital counseling. Where was the wisdom and guidance, and the concern enough to tell her that this wasn't who God had for her? I think that I would seriously consider finding another church home.🤔

There Pastor should have said no your not marrying him !

Yep. I know this way too well.

@Nekole’s Perspective this!!! This is my current situation literally. I was married bc I thought I was going to burn in hell. But my husband told me that he “has trouble loving me”. Those words hurt! He served divorce papers harshly out of revenge

A real man will come along and marry her. She must heal from this marriage so she can receive true love and healthy leadership.

@@pdoe4966 nowadays with the way men are, she’s going to be single for a very long time or forever. A lot of men nowadays don’t want women with kids and pass a certain age.

Ma friends it take 2 for marriage to go wrong not one both Contributed to the downfall of the marriage

You can't stay for 12 years without wanting it to work out look deeper both are answerable to the marriage breakdown

@@mykemasai42 I disagree with your statement “You can’t stay for 12 years without wanting it to work…” If someone has ulterior motives to use someone, they’ll stay for as long as they can before their true intentions are exposed. Ijs

he is a classic narc and needs therapy

I noticed that as well. And the fact that he feels nothing hurts my soul.

Because he's an undercover male looking to act like he's the victim 🙄

@@torri4777 fr fr lol omg

He is a sad

QqQ¹

Amen!!!

Incredibly true!

So true💯💯

Amen 🙏🏾

"A nice person doesn't equal the right person" pure truth. Thank you

Amen to this.❤️

Amen Amen… he is very empty 👌🏾

I agree he doesn't display any emotions about the situation. Body language tells everything!

Wow sounds like my husband. This is my life. I’m trying to hold on to him so badly but he is numb. I’ve come to the point where I know I can’t make him love me. I see little snippets that he does but he quickly withdraws it. It’s like a protective mechanism

@@blessedandbeautiful8365 sorry to hear that you’re going through that. Have you ever watched the War Room? If not it’s a great movie to check out.

true. I point to the love of Jesus Christ as a first example. The fact that God is keeping him and blessing him daily is love. Unconditional love. Not sure why he is struggling with that question esp. since he has a relationship with God.

I get gay vibes.

@@beverlydukes8246 from the husband?

Right!! I believe she's speaking solely about physical abuse and completely forgot that emotional abuse is just as potent

That was in reference to physical abuse only...

Facts, cause sis all those tears were abuse like I get it you couldn’t be physically abused bit emotional and mental abuse is real.

I thought the same thing…She’s been being abused and has no idea.

I thought the same thing. I would prefer to be beaten than endure the pain she is experiencing.

This, this is the bottom line to this. Heal before you try to become one with another soul. Heal and take accountability for your own brokeness and women we cant be out here trying to fix, save, and be Jesus and the Holy Spirit to anyone.

It's obvious that God wasn't being asked and listened to.

This term emasculated is so funny to me. Masculinity isn’t a cloak that can be put on or taken off. He was unprepared for the job and knew that deep down. She likely did too. They tried to dress up a pig. We lie to ourselves and make up what sounds like a cute story. Theirs was: “I didn’t even really like him when we met, but God softened my heart towards him and I really saw him for the man of god he was becoming.” And everyone clapped and said aw cute story , look at God. She let the ooohs and aaahs over the story drown out the still small Voice. She got some intrinsic gain from being the one who was “together” and the one to choose someone unlikely. I wish them well. Her pain is palpable and I’m sorry she had this experience.

This is real. He does come off as the bad guy, but this marriage really was based on an unhealthy codependency.

Wow this is sad. This breaks my heart.

This 💕

Absolutely 💯

I hold her feet to the fire. She's not a victim. Her initial vibes from him were not the only sign. Women need to cut it out. We know what we do out of desperation. She's not telling the whole truth. She's telling the version/portion that makes him look bad and her look innocent. The perfect cracked pot will find the perfect cracked lid to fit it. Her unconscious daddy issues is what attracted her to him. Her dealing with those issues is the solution to her marital problems NOT, trying to "fix" him.

I totally agree. The husband is lost . He needs a happily married Christian man as a mentor. Both of them need counseling. I wish African-American people would take advantage of counseling.

This is disheartening. God Bless them Both. 🙏🏽😢

Same here! And it was a revelation because I always interpreted that to mean when we share His word! Now I'm like His word to us will not come back void period.

There was a whole lot of God "said" with no fruit of His presence....they both need to be deprogrammed from this religious spirit and connect with the Holy Spirit.

Same!!

It happens all the time. I have seen many a man who marry for all sorts of reasons that are not love. They have some affection for the woman, but they are not in love with the woman. Many men get married for practical reasons or to solve a problem and check off a box. It never ends well.

Same! Every since De'Naia interview, I am hooked because that sister was so transparent, and so is this sister. I see myself in both of them. Wow. God is good

Me too lol

I been here and four children in after the 7 th year I knew it was a mistake I pushed to the 12 th year trying to make it work be more prayerful be more humble be more serving be more and it was never enough until one day he blew up like a volcano and threatened my life with his hands around my throat and that was the straw that broke this camels back. I was never loved I was never appreciated I just served some selfish purpose for a period and it was definitely unequally yoked although we both were professing Christians. When a person's vision and frequency of integrity does not match or align it's a red flag. When you see truths don't make excuses for them believe it and move accordingly ( run ). If he does cherish you and is in competition with you run when you are being degraded in front of your children address it and run investigate people's background resentments against their mothers issues with their fathers use this information to educate yourself to make better and informed decisions . I never learned how to embrace the person who tried to take my life and destroyed what I hoped to be a happy home my childrens hearts. I have forgiven but I'll never embrace this person again. I admire this woman's strength her heart her empathy and her integrity . I pray for her future husband and her children. I pray for her to be made whole before he finds her. I pray her joy be filled. I pray for the peace of God be in her and on her. I pray her love and appetite for God is greater as a result of her experience. I pray her ex husband be made whole before he considers marrying again. I pray for sound minds mental vitality spiritual wisdom and better leadership in Jesus name. Amen

You’re absolutely correct, they lack morals and values! They scare me! BM are killing black women in high numbers

Being fatherless is not THE reason he is like this men with fathers also act this way not all fathers are good fathers and some truly do NOT deserve to be there but it could be A reason but yall say this as an excuse and I see it as not taking accountability cause if men knew them not being there was the cause of all of this generation of people to be like this man or like what yall would call a 304 yall should try more harder to be a father cause if we are being honest more men willing walk out than they are forced to not be there so all I can say is one DO BETTER not you specifically just in general and PROTECT YOUR SEMEN

@@noploxq5593 of course it’s not the only reason. There’s plenty of blame to go around but as men, if we aren’t there, that has the biggest effect.

You are right

🎯🎯

why'd you end it? if you don't mind me asking

Self healing is very important and learning to live with self without involving other person. Many times women thinks they can help heal a hurting men, I tell them it's a no, because down the road the woman will lose. Don't take in a broken man period and let him heal completely on their own first, that's my opinion.🙏🏽🙏🏽

Me too hunny. I was thanking God during this episode. I do pray blessing to the both of them.

Amen

I pray you find true ❤

Yep. It was clear as day and the host knew it as well! Everything that man said was complete BS bc he thought it sounded nice. He was never honest. A true wolf in sheep’s clothing

And I don’t believe he wasn’t having sex during the 18 months.

I agree.. I believe her..

@@kaylaEA_that boy was living a double life & in another relationship with somebody else daughter or son 💯

She said that based on how she felt. A man is sitting in front of her giving his POV. It's important for women to be open to hearing how men think from other men not women.

It’s so draining and then they don’t understand our anger or frustration.

She doesn't admit her own brokenness, and she is over spiritualizing herself.

@@brendaperkins836 my thoughts exactly. She's acting like she was perfect without a broken spirit as well.

@@brendaperkins836 She is trying to survive. She needs to disconnect from this man and leave his evil alone. I hope she gets as far away from his abuse as possible and if he decides he wants to see the children that a mediator (her sisters) gets involved and she never has to be in his presence.

@@brendaperkins836 so true, sometimes we hide behind our spirituality and therefore we never get to the place where we can heal.

Yes!! I agree with you. That statement spoke volumes and not in a healthy way.

Say that!

When she said that I was like God doesn't want us to be a martyr, Jesus paid it all. Know when to leave and ask God to lead the way. And yes, Learn to love yourself after God and then everyone else.

Yes but that’s what most people do. They are just existing, going through the everyday routine but not thriving in their marriage. Most of us don’t love ourselves. We dress up to go out with someone where “feting”, or wanting to date. We dress up for work. A lot of things are for show not because it’s for us to grow and be the best person for God/ourselves. Many of us are more like this couple than we we would like to think.

@@lavinia7103 You better preach! I've personally seen this happen twice, and both times the men were not initially financially stable, and the women were desperate to be married (i.e. ignoring all red flags).

May God heal and restore you. I pray that he erases the painful memories. I pray that he grants your heart's desires to meet the right person.

🙏🏽 for you

Yep. Totally agree. Suicidal ideation- just spiritualized.

That is so real about the air of suicide

Same here!!!!

Same for me as well!

Same here...I pray Gods Healing power for both

Yes! And the stories they shared (the wedding night story and the 3 roses story🥀). So much openness.

It doesn't take much for a person to share when they are letting go! Meaning him. She is the one really sharing. She gave her life. Gave birth in pain. On all expect. I pray God heals her. She and God restored him. But now she's empty. God has to restore.

As sorry as I felt for her, this was my same thought when she said that. I think she knew that he didn't have anything to give, so what was it in her that made her still choose to marry him.

Exactly.

That’s a whole sermon SERIES

@@TheSlc1982 real talk because you think you can help him!!! He needs to have direction before you marry him if not you are in a world 🌍 of trouble!!!

Excellent on both points.

Perfectly said...

You are 100% correct...The only thing that I would add is Vincent needs to receive Jesus Christ.

THIS!

Absolutely 💯 Been there, Done that 🥺

Yes! Codependency vibes for sure. It seems like she seeks validation through helping others.

this!!! So many blk women suffer from this issue

Perhaps, trust God. You cannot say that u r a prophetic intercessor and NOT hear God!

@@jllj9231 This part! Discernment is key, that's what I've learnt in my own journey of healing. Being close to God and His word will make the voice of God's spirit more audible to you. The further you are from God, the less likely you'll hear His voice when He speaks. And I wouldn't just say trust in God but utter and complete surrender. Focus on yourself and Him and everything else shall follow, that's scripture! Mathew 6:33❤️ I think a lot us are lead astray through impatience and disobedience.There is such greatness that comes with waiting upon the Lord.

number 3. when I hear a man say they need a woman to help them focus, bring order im their life etc when what he really needs a therapist, a life coach and a whole support system: I RUN!

@@BlkOnyx0508 and even more are gaslit when they say they don't want this...

Same for me!!( 4 years )

Me too. I stayed for 12 years too and God later revealed to me that he was suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Please, sir/ma'am, can you tell me the scripture where you said about God rewarding the tongue? I want to post it on my corkboard so that I can have and memorize it. Thanks.

then they shouldn't Divorce

Spoiler alert lol… I’m still watching it but just read this comment😂 it’s all good.

@@terracottawellness1561 1st Peter 3: 8-12 God bless you.

@@molesadione9645 😂😂..lol!

One of millions a story with black Americans and black males in this country. Messed up mentality.

Same bruh ♥️💪🏽

❤️

💯

I think it's VERY true on his part and on hers... no self-awareness 😢😢

I sense some sexual identity on his part

Yup!

​@@LadyKaydabs what do you feel from her side sis ? :(

Whew Chile…this part. I was in a potential marriage and the moment I took accountability for my actions…Lawd the healing started. Im sorry they are going through this and I hope they can work it out in order to keep the kids covered. It’s a challenge being single with your kids

Gurl, so much my former marriage too. Trying to help pour into and being depleted. Only God set me free as HE opened my eyes to move on.

You didn't see the signs

One year was #Enough for me🥴😳 Took my #Babyguurl and #bounced. I knew my worth and was not going to settle and accept certain things.

@@eliezairesylvain5741 a lot of us see the signs we just are either in denial or look at things through rose colored glasses. The signs are subtle at first and then hit you in the head like a brick!!

@@valenciadavidson5987 I understand. It happens to the best of us

Exactly! He ran that word "brokenness" in the ground.

He*s one of the alphabet males!!!!!

​@Tami Gage yes. Misusing self worth and what not

@Demetria he is a lazy man

God bless you

Thank you

I'm sorry Mya Evans , sometimes it take to see another story to open your eyes. My prayer to God is to have my spiritual eyes to be WIDE OPENED.

Congratulations on doing what is best for you sis🌹

🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Amen 🙏🏾

AMEN

🙏🏾

Praying for your healing! We have to remember that only Jesus can heal the broken-hearted

@@mstfleur77 Thank You! In these past 3 years, God has been faithful and have been showing me me.

@@madtyga2002 Are you both in marriage counseling?

I am so sorry. Some people are selfish and a user

Man that’s beautiful!!!! 😭

Yes!!! Amen!!!

It has to be 2 people willing on the same Team. I’m happy for you. God always trying to work out marriage. He can’t change self will.

@@cassandragriffin1489 absolutely! That's why I said I understand some people won't make it. My story is simply stating if we surrender to God He can and will change our hearts. I gave up! I was ready to move on and was convinced that my husband wasn't for me. However I sought God desperately. He began to show me, me! He showed me how my past wounds affected how I saw my husband. He also showed me how some of my "personality traits" were actually trauma responses. I had to be willing to trust God, admit fault, and be vulnerable enough with my heavenly father for Him to do a work in me. Same for my husband. Then and only then we're we able to learn what loving each other in Christ was really like. This for us was supernatural. The change happened very quickly, once our marital issues came to light and we found ourselves in our pastors office. I truly believe that's because we both had reached a point of surrender to God.

@@sheenamarie9991 Yes!!!! That’s it right there!!! Surrender and allow God to change your heart!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽. Thanks for sharing!!!

So true

MANNNN

I know this so oh well

I think couples should attend premarital counseling prior to engagement. Some women feel pressured to say "yes" when presented with a ring, while knowing the relationship isn't where it should be.

@@celestesosa01 100

Former church girl here! I agree- I’m so grateful God saved me from the wrong relationships 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

I would never get counseling from a church bc you're right they're no equip bc it was very surface when my husband and I got....

@@angelbridges3056I prefer to go a license Christian faith based- professional I’ve had too many disappointing experiences with some church counselors. But therapy is good. Check out Dr. Anita Phillips podcast The Light she is 🔥🔥🔥!

🎯 absolutely not the end of the world!

Your past experience gave cause for your greater appreciation for present husband. Cherish him.

Until I realized I was dating my Father over and over, I just kept hurting myself.

🤩🤩🤩🤩

Amen 🙏🏽

Amen! I feel the same way! I haven't even watched the full episode yet but I can just sense that God is going to bless her with a wonderful man who is going to love her beyond what she could ever imagine! I pray that for her 🙏🏾

She also needs some healing before that.

Amen Sis!! God will restore her.

Amen🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Totally true. It is not our job to make a man whole.

You said it best. Both played a part in the demise of this marriage. I see that. I had to realize that the ideologies and expectations I had in my mind were mines and no one could live up to them, not even me. I had to let that fantasy fairytale tv-sitcom image go, it wasn’t based on real life.

Amen

🎯

You are right . My sister says all the time that "men make the mistake of thinkin' she will never leave and she will. Women make the mistake of thinkin she can change him and she can't." I think it's a bit surface but applicable. It's giving signs of addictive personality and skeletons. Our forties though...

How can you be unequally yoke with your husband?

@@lovingme1st973 they were unequally yoked before they got married. More so I think it was more of healing from the past and working on insecurities that caused all this. They were not in union but I’m competition. They were supposed to be one flesh but the man seems like he was trying to prove himself worthy just like Laterras got divorced when he felt unworthy of marriage. We gotta work on our insecurities.

@@lovingme1st973 They were unequally yoked before the marriage. Being married only magnified their issues. It is so important to become whole and healed prior to a relationship. Realize you cannot change a person. Recognize the red flags and govern yourself accordingly.

Yup. On both sides.

The other thing that I just realized is a man needs to choose to wait himself not because it is a requirement by the woman. Because then it becomes a goal or achievement thing or like a game for him to win the cookie. A woman shouldn’t force a man to wait but she should set the standard. That rubbing into a man that you ain’t getting the cookie unless we married can cause the wrong men to just wanna marry you and sleep with you just because it was a goal not out of love. Wait because you want to and if you can not wait then leave the person alone and go find your own like minded person. I would feel used if a man said what he said on the night of our wedding. Totally sad.