This Muslim woman found this out the hard way... (Discussion with my wife)

Рет қаралды 40,055

2 ай бұрын

How the Islamic marriage process prevents you from finding out what he's really like...
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@hangingwiththegrlz4891 2 ай бұрын

I married an Egyptian Muslim and he began beating me directly after the wedding. He told me he did not want my love, that he wanted my obedience. After the birth of our first child I ran away and left the country. I am still healing from PTSD.

@rajibhossain9918 2 ай бұрын

Whats your ethnicity?

@hangingwiththegrlz4891 2 ай бұрын

@@rajibhossain9918 African-American

@inkyfingers3447 2 ай бұрын

The religion teaches it from their book.

@josephantwi8891 2 ай бұрын

@@hangingwiththegrlz4891 Did you meet and marry him in America or overseas? Did you report the abuse to the police?

@TingTong2568 2 ай бұрын

@@hangingwiththegrlz4891 you did the biggest mistake by marrying a practicing muslim.

@memyselfeye8850 2 ай бұрын

Emotional and sexual abuse can be found equally everywhere in all societies. However, I agree with you, the most heinous hypocrisy is found in Muslim communities.

@jonahtisamphd.6101 2 ай бұрын

True, their unholy texts revealed how men shld treat their wives. This 7th century ideology shld be banned. It's not compatible with modernity.

@rossini55 2 ай бұрын

Yes. And in most moderrn liberal countries it is recognised for the misogynistic attitude that it is. In some countries, it is considered divine and promoted.

@memyselfeye8850 2 ай бұрын

@@rossini55 Ultimately, the problem is not Islam itself, but the excess of uneducated hypocrites who illegitimately occupy it and have turned it into a political monopoly game.

@MY_VIDEOS_ARE_TRUTH 2 ай бұрын

There is a huge difference. Unlike in other cultures, this type of behavior is accepted in Muslim countries, because it is allowed in the Quran and because the prophet of Islam practiced these types of abusive behaviors. Abuse is MUCH higher in Muslim countries because abuse is religiously protected and socially acceptable. Not so in the West

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf 2 ай бұрын

@@rossini55it is not promoted in a single Islamic country or considered divine. But your a student of knowledge please give me your sources.

@aria-0523 2 ай бұрын

I'm from China and on our social media many Chinese ex muslims, especially women, who chose to marry non muslims and share their life online are insulted and cursed by muslims. But at least we are starting to see people(though just a few) brave enough to openly apostatize and refuse to be threatened.

@rajibhossain9918 2 ай бұрын

What percentage of ethnic Chinese people are of Muslim background? What percentage Uyghur and how many are Hans or Huis? What percentage of Chinese Muslims, especially Hans/Huis are ex Muslims now?

@rajibhossain9918 2 ай бұрын

I am curious as to the number of people of Musim background in China because i read a range of estimates from 2 to 12 percent. The lower range includes only adults who identify with a religion. So the real numbers are probably twice the official stats if children are included.

@nielsatoyab6065 2 ай бұрын

To me, Chinese CCP laws are far more superior to Islamic customs as they're not allowed to kill apostates or imprisoned blasphemers. Look at what they did to Uyghur people in Xinjiang for example.

@lut8167 2 ай бұрын

They wouldn't dare take the sharia nonsense to the CCP

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

I suspect those ex-Muslim Chinese women have much happier marriages on average than their Muslimah counterparts do. Muslims curse them because apostasy is supposed to be a wholly negative experience. It is not supposed to make you happier, yet it usually does.

@lahleholivia7398 2 ай бұрын

In Islam you can marry a minor (Q65:4-Tafsirs/Sunan an-Nasa'i 3378), But you are not allowed to shake a woman's hand (Sunan Ibn Majah 2874). Make it make sense!

@SS-cz9jz 2 ай бұрын

Very good point!

@colinhaveron1554 2 ай бұрын

Mohamed their prophet was apaedophile

@lilacscentedfushias1852 7 күн бұрын

I remember a university being in the news because Muslim women couldn’t shake the hand of the men on the stage. Lunacy! I’m a woman and I’ve never got ‘excited’ by shaking hands with a man. My only thought is I hope he washed his hands after going to the loo and get out my wipes or anti bac out of my bag just in case 😂

@jam20230 2 ай бұрын

Please tell your wife, she is so eloquent, full of wisdom and with a beautiful voice ! God bless you both, so happy to see such a lovely couple with courage to leave the Islamic cult.

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Yes she is! Thank you ❤️😏

@ritageraghty3261 Ай бұрын

@@FriendlyExmuslim Your wife is blessed to have a such loving, caring husband who isn't a monster she'd married.

@MariahYarborough Ай бұрын

I'm very glad to see a KZfaqr with such talent who's happily married ❤ The way you treated her in the video was a stark contrast to the first week of marriage that these sad stories portrayed. My family's Mormon (but I haven't believed since I was a 9 year old little girl but that's alright, I'm neither disowned nor decapitated for my apostasy haha) and I live in Utah. My parents are having their 40th wedding anniversary this August and they still love each other very much. May you and your wife one day happily celebrate your 40th anniversary as well. Btw I bet she's beautiful, judging by her lovely voice! ❤❤

@manub.3847 2 ай бұрын

I know a woman with Muslim roots who grew up in Europe, met her first husband here and married him in a civil ceremony. The wedding ceremony was to take place a few weeks later and shortly after the henna evening. Between the henna evening and the actual wedding, a dispute arose and he became extremely aggressive and violent. She immediately filed for divorce. And yes, I also know of cases of extreme violence (victim and perpetrator personally known) that are not related to a religious foundation. The problem with such violence based on religious foundations is often that the victim's own mothers, grandmothers and mothers-in-law blame the victim for the escalation.

@Talktothehand.253 2 ай бұрын

I have modelled my life choices around the strong women in my family. I am in my 60’s and all the women in my family are strong. Walk away from an abusive and horrible human being. Do not feel guilty. Hold your head high and leave him. I know women who got slapped on their wedding night and eventually left the piece of garbage after a couple of kids and years of abuse. Be like the women in my family and walk away. I wish you well.

@memes-gg8mp 2 ай бұрын

Here in germany was a guy who wanted to start a discussion on a street with Muslims. He had a sign where was written ,, I have nothing against Muslims but against political Islam“ a man saw that and stapped him 8 times. A police officer came to help the victim and got stapped 8 times too. The officer died Sunday.

@jigardhuvavia 2 ай бұрын

So sad. If Europeans don't wake up soon it will be too late. Parents must educate their kids about Islam and Muslims in general nothing bad in teaching them the truth. Europeans fear that they will be called racist if they speak the truth about Islamists

@GuacamoleKun Ай бұрын

Bro it's "stabbed", at first I read that he slapped them both 8 times and I laughed.

@memes-gg8mp Ай бұрын

@@GuacamoleKun oh sorry man, idk why I wrote it with ,,p“. But yeah slapped is funny lmao

@blueStarKitt7924 Ай бұрын

😔😔😔

@damaridan8613 Ай бұрын

It's very gullible to believe that Muslims Islam and political Islam are separate things.. they are all one and should be treated as one.. You should have problem with them all.. and that Muslim guy read the sign and proved him wrong. Because Islam doesn't do anything, Muslims do.. without Muslims Islam will be just a story in human history.

@raincity5004 2 ай бұрын

I’m actually glad you have your wife who is also an ex-Muslim you need each other that’s for sure

@marc3dartist601 2 ай бұрын

2:09 If your wife does not want to appear on camera, just give her a white board. 😉

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

HAHA We're proud of that!

@hippityhoppitus 2 ай бұрын

Lol 😂 @@FriendlyExmuslim

@merchantrekha2000 2 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@Drunk3nMonk3y72 2 ай бұрын

😂😂

@Natalia-vs6dq 2 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@anastasia10017 2 ай бұрын

the "bed of your own making" attitude means that the family wants to get rid of the responsibility of having a daughter.

@rajshenoy8506 2 ай бұрын

Honestly!! Is this how folks think in this day and age “damaged goods”!! This lady should consider herself blessed that she knew within the first few weeks about her husband and go right ahead and divorce him. It is better to be unmarried and single than be married to a beast. Get out lady and get a job and be financially independent.

@dyawr 2 ай бұрын

Exactly. Even if she's gonna be single, in this day 'n age that doesn't mean a difficult life anymore.

@kathleen5237 2 ай бұрын

Exactly. In this age of equality, he is definitely the bad person

@NoKidsNoProblem 2 ай бұрын

Better to be single than in a bad marriage.

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

So depressing. In a love match, the woman had every reason to expect her husband to be gentle with her on their wedding night. Instead, this man acted like a baboon, then struck the wife when she shrieked in pain! Where is the love? In Islam the wife is merely her husband's sexual property, to approach as he pleases. Obviously, this new husband believes that teaching. Such a perverse foundation will never produce a happy, trusting relationship of mutual respect. She should divorce this beast who has no empathy or respect for her. Have children with him? DON'T! A man who abuses his wife will likely abuse his children, too.

@s13rr4buf3 Ай бұрын

Divorce, but also give him a domestic violence record with the police.

@mysotiras21 Ай бұрын

@@s13rr4buf3 , yes. He needs to suffer the consequences of his abusiveness.

@PS-qn4oz Ай бұрын

They want subjugation and possession, not love. FGM wouldn't exist if they actually wanted love. The whole culture revolves around BDSM type dynamics if you think of it.

@crimsonshadow1649 2 ай бұрын

That husband in the story is a snake who waited until she became his wife, i.e. his 'property' in Islam before showing his true colours. Also this reaction with your wife is such a contrast to Ali Dawah's so called reaction video with his wife where she's sitting there in a niqab writing single words on an effing white board while Ali Dawah is yapping away the whole time about HIS thoughts and looking at her going "Yeh? Yeh? Yeh?" 😂

@ssnap7028 2 ай бұрын

Yeh yeh yeh 😂😂😂

@lingammunuswamy7778 2 ай бұрын

👍

@triplewave5214 2 ай бұрын

Always trust your gut feeling! Your subconscious picks up on a lot more than you realize.

@AbdulHannanAbdulMatheen 2 ай бұрын

👏😐 Great video its a sad and difficult situation. Domestic abuse should never be justified. She should leave immediately.

@AdultThirdCultureKid1971 2 ай бұрын

Agreed.

@jooo7011 2 ай бұрын

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them , refuse to share their beds. beat them ; but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all)

@Gatsby18 25 күн бұрын

Horseshit !

@cpsaleemyt 2 ай бұрын

This is but an extreme case of a common thing with many educated, outwardly ' modern "Muslim men . During the time of their courting women of a similar background, the man conveys the impression to his " lover girl " that he , being a "modern " man has admiration for her independent thinking and independent opinions ( especially for dating him without the express approval of her family ) ONLY FOR the women to find out after marriage that new rules apply now where different qualities (NOT independent thought or opinions BUT obedience and subservience to the husband ) are what he believes to be the admirable qualities expected of a " good Muslim wife " !

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

BINGO!!! many western women are duped into marriage with Muslim men because these "moderns" pretend to be so enlightened - until after the marriage.

@diabloakland 2 ай бұрын

This makes me so sad to see. Your wife is right too. I always say this. They teach us nothing of sex Ed. Shit not even periods, i had no info. Just got my period early one day and that was it.

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

Horrible. My mother carefully educated all her kids with basic sex ed, as soon as we were old enough to ask questions. Her parents never told her anything; her older siblings had to explain what a period was when she got hers at age 10. They had to explain the sex act when she was in her late teens. Mom did not want us to go through the same frightening ignorance.

@skys545 2 ай бұрын

marriage/dating advice: avoid crazy dangerous power dynamics (he's very rich compared to you/large platform/way older)

@miovicdina7706 2 ай бұрын

Prophet Mohammed didn't listen to your advice when marrying Khadija. It was so unbalanced. She was way more dominant. 😁

@rexsceleratorum1632 Ай бұрын

@@miovicdina7706 Probably messed him up and created a monster then

@miovicdina7706 Ай бұрын

@@rexsceleratorum1632 Could be, who knows?

@TheTwil1 2 ай бұрын

When their holy book describes women to cattle….what do you expect??

@Michelle-lu3oj 2 ай бұрын

I think having your wife on the channel is awesome. I love her point of view. She should be on the channel more.

@curiousnarwhal 2 ай бұрын

ugh... he's married. i guess this ruins my chances. 😂🤣💔

@opalrose3014 2 ай бұрын

Not at all! He can have 4 wives! Follow your dream, honey. 😂

@hyrunnisa997 Ай бұрын

@@opalrose3014 😂

@ElisaSarah Ай бұрын

Let's be realistic, he is a man who respects most people.@@opalrose3014he doesn't want more than 1 wife.

@babarpk56 Ай бұрын

I'm single

@curiousnarwhal 16 күн бұрын

@@babarpk56 hahaha... ok. hit me up. 🤣

@Amp1771 2 ай бұрын

Congratulations! I'm happy you got married.

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@joelohberger3221 2 ай бұрын

he has following the example of Muhammad

@marleneorein9484 2 ай бұрын

Exactly.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf 2 ай бұрын

Find one example of Muhammad ever striking or even being rude or raising his voice at his wives

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf 2 ай бұрын

@@marleneorein9484Muhammad have never once struck his wife or as much as raised his voice at them, Aiesha was accused of adultery and he didn’t yell at her strike or, he simply didn’t speak to her.

@happydillpickle Ай бұрын

@@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf Sahih Muslim vol. 4 2127 Muhammad pushed Aisha in the chest so that it hurt. Abu Bakr punched Aisha in the face: it was very painful but she didn't make a sound so as not to wake Muhammad. Not exactly a happy relationship. There are a lot of accounts of violence against women including sexual violence. I'm glad you found this channel. I hope it helps you.

@yaniramarroquin4819 Ай бұрын

@@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf yet he was a pedophile , when he ‘married’ a little girl😬😞

@jackryan7767 2 ай бұрын

I would say to this woman….RUN as fast as you can.

@soso2044 2 ай бұрын

I saw this in my sister she reached a late age without marriage then married a random dude and from day one they were fighting and arguing and avoided each other's, almost divorced many times! And this is the sister who always avoided sex and dating and was extremely religious.

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

😔

@anntares172 2 ай бұрын

Congratulations! I wish you a happy marriage for both of you❤ Thank you for the work you do. Regarding the story: ANNUL AND RUN

@professorrhyyt3689 2 ай бұрын

There is also the possibility that she (the reddit woman) may have been "cut" and that is what made coitus too painful.. She should go to an experienced gyneacologist to check if anything needs to be done to help her out. And leave this marriage before worse things happen. I hope she gets to read these messages.

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

Good point. FGM usually makes first coitus a nightmare experience.

@juliachildress2943 2 ай бұрын

She probably has a condition called vaginismus where the muscles contract and make intimacy very difficult. Very common in high control religions. There is treatment for that. But meanwhile, leave him now. No man is better than a violent man. You deserve a man who will love you.

@helgardhossain9038 2 ай бұрын

Yes, in the first instance I also thought that she might have FGM for sex to be SOOO painful ... but it can be painful at the first time & after a long abstinence because if it doesn't get used everything gets smaller ...

@edwarddeatley1117 Ай бұрын

I was just learning about female genital mutilation in the Muslim community.

@professorrhyyt3689 Ай бұрын

@@edwarddeatley1117 It seems more of a geographical/cultural phenomenon than related to Islam as a religion.

@c.athompson9280 2 ай бұрын

I don't think she made a mistake I think her husband misrepresented himself. That's a gentle way if saying he manipulated her. Because I am sure at no point in their courtship he indicated these expectations else she would not have felt so comfortable expressing her discomfort during intimacy. She obviously believed he was the person he presented himself to be. Her family is cruel.

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Yeah he did misrepresent himself. But also the system enables and empowers men like this

@julieponce3345 2 ай бұрын

How horrible for her. Selfish man.

@helgardhossain9038 2 ай бұрын

"Once a beater always a beater." Just leave this guy. There are so many wonderful people out there who would LOVE your company - no need to get stuck with an abusive person, gaslight oneself into staying and let this person (servant of Sheitan) get away with his games ... Withdraw yourself and choose a respectful, wholesome, loving, thriving environment.

@ImagineHeroism 2 ай бұрын

I can’t believe you didn’t get your wife a white board to communicate her ideas :/

@richardokeefe7410 2 ай бұрын

No, you really CAN'T tell what someone will be like as a spouse until marriage. (Counting de factos as informal marriages.) There are story upon story of people (mostly men but women too) who began to abuse after marriage. Anyone who thinks you can get to know someone too well to be caught that way, just while dating is delusional. Some people are not good ad judging others. And some people are very very good at deceiving others. One of my daughters has a friend who met a man, liked him, dated for a while, then they moved in together, and then he started abusing her. When he hit her child is when she went to the police. It turned out she was his third victim. Three women had been fooled into thinking he was OK. Now factor in an ideology that tells men they have a right to "discipline" their wives and there's an obvious reason for a man's behaviour to change after marriage.

@AdultThirdCultureKid1971 2 ай бұрын

That guy sounds almost like Drew Peterson who also abused his wives.

@carp0x 2 ай бұрын

There's always a risk and also, people can change over time (and not always for the better) BUT that doesn't mean you can't increase your odds of not having a bad surprise later on by trying to get to know them as much as possible before making long lasting commitments

@renticat 2 ай бұрын

:( yeah especially since when Discipline equals beating. Men are stronger and they're just horrible mostly thinking this was okay and they have no regrets doing it

@richardokeefe7410 2 ай бұрын

@@carp0x Sure. But the idea that premarital sex will protect you is just bonkers, as is the idea that chaperones always prevent you getting to know someone. My chief concern here is that some women (like my daughter's friend) are on the autism spectrum, and just don't pick up the cues that would have other people running away screaming. For people like that, family input *can* be a very useful protection. (Though depending on the family, it might not be.) What we're all in agreement on here is that nobody should be trapped in an abusive relationship. Interestingly, this is the official dogma of the (pre-woke) Anglican church, whose "homily on marriage" defines the ideal relationship between spouses as "perpetuall friendship", describes spousal abuse as devilish, and commends divorce as a necessity for some people. 500 years ago that came out, still official doctrine.

@NoKidsNoProblem 2 ай бұрын

I don't think they said that you can get to know someone better by having sex. They basically said that have sex before marriage and don't make the common mistake that religious people make by getting married to not "sin" for having sex. Also, in your story the abuse started not after marriage but after they moved in together, which can be the case even without marriage. It is true though, I've heard quite a bit of stories that people who lived together for years prior to marriage had a good relationship but after marriage the abuse, manipulation, and control started. Luckily for me I will never marry. I will be with my partner without marrying since that for me is enough.

@TheEnlightenedRebel 2 ай бұрын

The only simple thing about this situation is that partner violence is never acceptable under any circumstances, and my gut reaction would be leave immediately. Knowing someone well before marriage obviously helps, but even then, there are men who become violent or abusive later on in the relationship -- often after strong feelings have formed, unfortunately. Really sad

@dyawr 2 ай бұрын

Yeah...

@dyawr 2 ай бұрын

I also think it's just going to get worse with time, if it started this bad *already.* I mean, it really didn't take much but a bruised ego for the first hit to happen...

@teresahiggs4896 2 ай бұрын

What if the woman had FGM? That could be another reason for the pain. Even without FGM, the first time having sex can be extremely painful. For some women very little or no pain. Now this poor woman has been traumatized about sex. What should have been a bonding experience , and somerhing to build on wirh her husband, has become somerhing she remembers with pain…the pain of sex , the pain of being struck in the face , the pain of betrayal and the end of her dreams for this marriage.

@annegreengables6367 2 ай бұрын

Congratulations on your marriage! We all love you and want to see you happy!!!

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@calonstanni 2 ай бұрын

I didn't know you WEREN't married but now that I know that you are, CONGRATS to you BOTH!!!

@MisUnderstood_Rose 2 ай бұрын

Some men don't show their true colors until after marriage. Especially if the woman can't leave. Her family should help her.

@agnes1250 Ай бұрын

To her family, she's to blame. It's like having sold a faulty horse. They'll only think of their reputation.

@jegarajramoo3873 2 ай бұрын

Actually this type of marital problem isn't just found in Islamic marriages. It crosses all societies irrespective of religion, especially in Asia. From a very young age, we are brainwashed into thinking sex is basically a male need. For females, it is supposed to be a duty to accommodate her husband's needs. All the woman wants is supposed to be just children and financial security. Women are supposed to be pure and sexless ! This kind of erroneous teachings have destroyed countless marriages. Yet strangely, those who are enjoying sex are actually people who are not religious ! These people just have flings or affairs in their working places. Very puzzling.

@mrsTreadnaught 2 ай бұрын

I say this as a friend, as a sister, ladies I say this in love. I don't care how nice he seems, what he says, how handsome he is or how how successful he is... DO NOT MARRY A MUSLIM MAN!!!!!! DO.....NOT.....MARRY.....A.....MUSLIM.....MAN!!!!!!!

@s13rr4buf3 Ай бұрын

I would only date or marry a Muslim man if he were either an activist reformer or actually an ex-Muslim. If he's smuggling birth control and abortion pills into Saudi Arabia along with some subversive literature, then I would date him.

@lilydiallo594 18 күн бұрын

Why? Not everyone is the same.

@s13rr4buf3 18 күн бұрын

@@lilydiallo594 If he were a Muslim and the man for me, he would have to be a liberal Muslim and an activist reformer.

@lilydiallo594 18 күн бұрын

@@s13rr4buf3 I still believe that not everyone is so extreme.

@s13rr4buf3 17 күн бұрын

@@lilydiallo594 mainstream Muslim culture is extreme by my measure. Women being deprived of their basic human rights is extreme.

@user-xp5xn2vy3l 2 ай бұрын

Without lies, islam dies.

@Samreyna1 2 ай бұрын

I don’t understand how you can think of hitting or causing pain to someone you love

@TheAfroAtheist 2 ай бұрын

It was so refreshing hearing your wife, she’s amazing ❤

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Yes she is thank you!

@cldrawings1224 2 ай бұрын

" Have premarital sex" sex is often not the issue! They should build a relationship and connection with each other without all the restrictions and prohibition that Islam gives so they can know each others character!

@lena-mariaglouis-charles7036 2 ай бұрын

An excellent clip - keep up the great work!

@carloacutis831 2 ай бұрын

Félicitations for your mariage 🎉 I wish you the best from francistan ❤

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@YekunoAmlak333 2 ай бұрын

She should leave him- quickly.

@ASMRyouVEGANyet 2 ай бұрын

Who the hell still gets off when the person is in pain?!?!

@Nancy20012 2 ай бұрын

'Men' like that guy

@littlecatfeet9064 2 ай бұрын

Men who watch a lot of “pron” (KZfaq censorship).

@andreiadetavora8471 2 ай бұрын

@@littlecatfeet9064 I agree with you! People don't have a very good education about this type of sensitive topics...

@pheonix75287 2 ай бұрын

Psychopaths & sadists do

@miovicdina7706 2 ай бұрын

@@littlecatfeet9064100% right. Young men today watch this sht, and they assume it's normal. What they don't realize is that they're watching desensitized women, women who use the Hrin, Meth, etc, and/or are given something to number themselves right before the shoot, alcohol, Coke, painkiller creams, etc. Then these inexperienced men treat the women in their life the same. And are embarrassed when their girlfriends are shocked and reject this behavior. And unfortunately a lot of men, especially from non Western countries, have aggression as their default defense behavior when feeling embarrassed. So this is what happened. He felt ashamed of himself, his brain found the culprit for this feeling to be her, so he punished her. How? The same way his Muslim daddy punished him when his (the father's) ego was hurt. By beating the person who hurt your ego. It's transferred from father to son this behavior, the beating when feeling cornered.

@surenthiren8663 2 ай бұрын

Good session, brother, sammer . Hope they realise what are the best in life for them.

@LuciferDoingPrimitiveArchery 2 ай бұрын

🎉No whiteboard was needed in the production of this conversation.🎉

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

lmao

@Dejan3979 2 ай бұрын

Where was your whiteboard, brother? Kidding.

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

😏

@anastasiamamis6441 2 ай бұрын

If you read all the verse in the Quran and hadith shared by many mostly frm ex Muslim its so sad to read how they rgd their women.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf 2 ай бұрын

Really kinda like the Bible tell women to shut up in places of worship, to cover their hair in prayer to remain unheard and subservient to their husbands and to drag her to her fathers door step and stone her if you discover signs that she wasn’t a virgin hmmm. 👌🏽

@babylonking9896 2 ай бұрын

Sadly in islamic & Arab countries and even here in the West, culture and traditions dictates people’s lives. Women are properties of the male guardian and they basically own them for a lack of better words. My advice to this brave young woman, walk away from this abusive man and hold your head up while you can. Do not feel guilty or feel your shaming your family if you walk from this bad marriage. Look after yourself, your future and well being and not what people think of you, or how they see you.

@dyawr 2 ай бұрын

True. In 10 years from now, whatever mental discomfort & shame she might initially feel for leaving, will seem like *such* a small thing compared to the much more complicated reality that will develop over time...

@roohiniamatali4153 2 ай бұрын

It's sad that you seem to think that is only something happens in Islamic marriages whereas forcefulness and rape happens everywhere ...more so in the West than Muslim countries...fyi. I put it down to culture as Islam does not condone such acts and no where is this treatment even condoned . Please do not misunderstand me . Women have a right to defend and protect themselves. And it is her right if she does not feel safe to continue in such a marriage to ask for a khula. I feel that you have a lack of understanding of the rules and have no knowledge when it comes to Islam. You seem to listen to what the media as well non Muslims and ex Muslims say rather than studying it for yourself. Smh... Islam is perfect as it is from God . However, Muslims aren't perfect. There are many Muslims who do not practice true Islam and they do not even comprehend the true teachings of Islam. They are the misguided ones. I urge you to take a step back and study. Really take the time to study and keep an open mind as to what you learn rather than being biased. I'm an individual who has done so and from what I have learnt Islam has brought nothing but peace and tranquility to my heart. I now have a true understanding and guidance on how to live my life.

@babylonking9896 2 ай бұрын

@@roohiniamatali4153 As a Middle Easterner, and fluent Arabic speaker, I know what I am talking about. It’s you that don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re trying to paint a beautiful picture of islam here which is far from reality. This is more prevalent in Arab/Islamic cultures than anywhere else in the world because I came from that region my friend. I don’t listen to media, and I don’t listen to anyone else because it’s there in your own Islamic hadiths and books. Simply put, women/girls in Islam are nothing but chattels, and the male guardian does with them what he feels is right in his state of mind. This is real truth about women, girls and females in general in Islam. You said “Islam does not condone such acts and nowhere is this treatment even condoned” Let’s examine some Islamic historical hadiths shall we? Mohammad pushed “as some muslims would like to call it nudged” Aisha so hard in her chest that she felt pain. Sahih Muslim / Book 4 / Hadith 2127 He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you? Question: Why did Muhammad not say one word against the husband Abd Al-Ra'hman beating his wife to the point that her skin became greener than her clothes (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book 72, Hadith 715)? Narrated 'Ikrima: Rifa'a divorced his wife whereupon 'AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. 'Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, 'Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When 'AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, 'Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa'a." Allah's Apostle said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa'a unless Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet saw two boys with 'Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that 'AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"

@ruthhorowitz7625 2 ай бұрын

She's lucky she found out he's abusive early, move on. He isn't worth keeping.

@diabloakland 2 ай бұрын

I also honestly even consider living before marriage good, like a test drive. But not permanently. I would rather live apart while married. I like my own space, i also think I’m not suited for marriage and found out later and the hard way.

@kathleen5237 2 ай бұрын

You should have the right to choose

@Some1Philosophy 2 ай бұрын

In 2:223 koran calls women a tilth: "Your wives are like tilth for you, so approach them as you please. And send forth something good for yourselves. Be mindful of Allah, and know that you will meet Him. And give good news to the believers." This is how allah understands intimacy 🎭

@MY_VIDEOS_ARE_TRUTH 2 ай бұрын

Horrifying

@lilydiallo594 18 күн бұрын

No love, considération or kindness?

@theallseeingeye9388 2 ай бұрын

For women who are thinking of converting because of your love for your future spouse, ensure you are not moving to a country with religious laws. You might find yourself in a situation where you can be divorced and yet forced to profess, practice and obey the laws of a faith you converted for love. Remember, you can opt in. But once you are in, you cant opt out. Jemima Khan isnt your average example of what happens when you get divorced while living in such countries. You will have nobody to blame but your own self for assuming this is like any other religion.

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

Sage advice.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf 2 ай бұрын

Yeah because there are no abusice Christian men right, and the Bible definitely promotes equality with women

@mysotiras21 Ай бұрын

@@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf , A "Christian" man who abuses women is DISOBEYING Christ, while the Muslim man who does the same is OBEYING Allah and IMITATING Muhammad. Big difference. (Galatians 3:28) "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is NO MALE OR FEMALE, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Compare that to the Qur'ans endless teachings that men are superior to women, for example surah 4:34. DISGUSTING.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf Ай бұрын

@@mysotiras21 find one instance of Muhammad abusing his wife, go ahead

@rexsceleratorum1632 Ай бұрын

@@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf That's not a rebuttal to any of the points made by OP.

@kristyna1441 2 ай бұрын

Love the points you two made.

@TheBornfree83 Ай бұрын

11:05 the issue would be that how will she view the next man. and that trauma will follow her to her next relationship. even if she is even able to commit to the next relationship, the next intimicy will still be another hurdle she would need to overcome.

@rossini55 2 ай бұрын

In my travels through islamic sources and text, I seem to recall it being a not uncommon attitude amongst some muslim men, that (and I'm sorry to be graphic here) that rupturing the hymen is a badge of honour and signifies that the woman is a virgin. So much so that if the bride doesn't bleed or feel pain, the husband could start asking questions and become very angry, and thecwoman is now considered to be "soiled goods", thus rendering her un-marryable, and now a shame on her family.

@kyoungd 2 ай бұрын

FYI. In medieval Europe, it was a common practice for the groom to display a bloodied bedsheet after the wedding night as proof of the bride's virginity. This was often seen as a badge of honor and a sign of the bride's purity.

@rossini55 2 ай бұрын

@kyoungd OK. Luckily we no longer carry out those practices, and they have been consigned to the dustbin of history, and they are thus referred to as medieval or antiquated. Some societies have not moved on. As I often say, the Islamic world is about 400 years behind. And they are stuck there.

@kyoungd 2 ай бұрын

@@rossini55 I agree. That is why I brought it up.

@rossini55 Ай бұрын

@kyoungd OK my bad. Now I understand the tone of your comment. Thanks

@xydoit2024 2 ай бұрын

I saw a video of a 13 years old with one kid and in pregnant that want divorce. 🙁

@mysotiras21 2 ай бұрын

Remember Nujool, the 10-year-old Yemeni girl who was forcibly married to a man more than twice her age? She had to go to a judge herself and beg for a divorce. When it was finally granted, her family blamed HER for "bringing shame" down on the family. All because she made her problem public, since that was the only way for her to obtain a divorce from her abusive husband (and get away from her equally abusive mother-in-law).

@essiefowler9775 2 ай бұрын

A leopard never changes it’s spots, he’s done it once, he’ll do it again. Tell the young woman to get out now before she has some broken bones

@rossini55 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Mrs Friendly! 👍

@vbee75 Ай бұрын

Very interesting to hear your wife's point of view as well.

@FriendlyExmuslim Ай бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it

@wurzelfix Ай бұрын

These are the things I don't understand... I have spent 40 years studying the Qur'an and the hadiths. (This is now complete) And it comes out clearly that the woman is a “bad person” and most of them don't go to heaven. She is seen as man's doormat and an object of childbirth. There's no need to discuss that! It's obvious when you read these writings!

@DillPickles123 2 ай бұрын

This is so heartbreaking to hear :( There needs to be more sex and relationship education among Muslims, this is atrocious

@GizelleQuant 2 ай бұрын

Aw yay! I’ve wanted to hear from your wife. Glad she made an appearance through voice 😁 I feel awful for that redditor. Your wife is right, it doesn’t matter if OP chose or was arranged… it is going to be bad to reconcile no matter what. The family would have a justification to push her back into marriage with either arrangement. I hope OP runs for the hills.

@InNazareth 2 ай бұрын

I believe it is going to help many to get educated.

@ElisaSarah Ай бұрын

I am an atheist, i have a muslim friend, she wants rhe whole family package. But she doesn't know how to find a good man. But she absolutely wants him to be muslim, because having the same faith somewhat ensures less fights about religion. Any advice?

@GlasPthalocyanine 2 ай бұрын

This kind of violence has nothing to do with intimacy. This is mental illness that religiously observant people should be allowed to know about before marriage. Was this man 29 years old? This can't be the first time he's been violent. There's a lot to know about a person before any intimacy. A friend of ours converted and has since left Islam. He was married to a 23 year old. Her family said she'd been married before. They didn't say that she'd already been married 4 times before, and that she had a borderline personality disorder, was also extremely antisocial and violent. Why would the family hide that? And hope for the best? Luckily no children, but our friend's working life and most of his friendships and family relationships were completely destroyed. He is rebuilding his life from nothing.

@theodoreconstantini2548 2 ай бұрын

You should feel you know someone you are going to marry especially in this day and age.

@YekunoAmlak333 2 ай бұрын

Wow, my friend you are maturing-getting gray. It looks really nice on you.

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@Some1Philosophy 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for exposing such problems 🙏

@lesliewood4069 Ай бұрын

She is really giving some very positive advice 🙏🙏❤️🙏🙏🙏

@lesliewood4069 Ай бұрын

You and your wife is opening the eyes of other women’s all over the world,

@FriendlyExmuslim Ай бұрын

🙏

@murkwilect 2 ай бұрын

Hi Abdullah, did you divorce Cheryl? Can you make a video on what happened with her?

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Yeah I did. I don't say much about it honestly cuz it's personal

@tbhat10 Ай бұрын

Its nice of you to reply to this comment and give an update, even though you don’t have to. Though we haven’t met, we, your viewers come to care about you over the years. So glad you are doing well.

@moongoddess1978 29 күн бұрын

Great perspective from the Mrs.! All true.

@ralphbaier7793 2 ай бұрын

Super nice vid. All we are saying, is give peace a chance

@jdlotus8253 Ай бұрын

I just wanted to comment. Couples who have lived together for years sometimes change their behaviour upon marriage. Islam brings in a particular manifestation but the comment that you dismissed about not really knowing until you get married is often true among non-muslims. People can hide who they really are for a very long time.

@vbee75 Ай бұрын

She should leave, this guy has revealed his true colours. You don't have to do it on your honeymoon straight away, the moment you are married. If he was insisting, then that's already a bad sign, a decent person would wait. If your hymen is still intact, even partially, the first time is going to be very painful, the skin is literally tearing. Don't stay with an abuser being unhappy when there could me a really nice, decent guy out there you could be happy with. I've heard a few similar stories like this, muslim men who are super nice before getting married, they win over the family, and then once married turn into monsters and no one believes you. Not saying it's just a male thing, it used to be the case in western society that sex before marriage was frowned upon, and women used sex to get men marry them. This is how narcissists work, you only know someone as much as they will let you know them, so you can know someone for years and still not see they "real" them. It's hard to know what the solution is, unless someone is willing to be vetted by professionals and to take a psychological test.

@shakuntalakumar9754 Ай бұрын

Leave him because a violent man never changes

@dianecourtney2724 Ай бұрын

Does it make sense to Muslim women that men can go through a long engagement without … trying to have a little … loving??

@katka1406 2 ай бұрын

It’s not a question of package or technique, it’s a question of love and respect. If he truly cared for her, he wouldn’t want her to feel pain. He would be patient and give her time . All he cared about was his own sexual satisfaction as well as his ego. He obviously sees her as his possession to be used as he likes.

@MollyPitcher1778 Ай бұрын

As one who has worked in a domestic violence shelter for 6 years, and as a survivor myself, I can tell you that abuse NEVER gets better. The only thing that works is if the abuser truly wants to change. That rarely happens. They have other disorders & issues that don't allow them to seek help. I hope she can get out of this situation. btw, even in the secular world, the most dangerous time for women, which can include d3ath, is when the woman tries to leave. There are red flags to look for and pay attention to. Many women don't pay enough attention to that and in Islam, I'm sure it's even harder because they are trained to accept that kind of behavior from men. Also, these guys are almost ALWAYS seen as great guys. They all make a point of that, which is how they get a potential victim, and no one believes you if you try to tell anyone about him. I keep going on but there is so much. This woman has resources in her community at least to get information about what she can do next.

@syed1559 8 күн бұрын

Wife beating is not limited to religious men only. In Australia, for example, partner physical abuse is a big problem. The government runs "respect campaigns" and educational initiatives about how mothers should raise their sons. This is a society-wide issue here. Historically oppressive male dominance was not only accepted but actually encouraged. The difference today is that Muslim communities are resistant to modernity and change while Hindus and others accept it.

@Iamgone1961 Ай бұрын

As an outsider, would you then consider being the 2nd wife a possible benefit?

@skontheroad Ай бұрын

He was doing something for the mosque to do his community hours as part of his deal with the court!😅😅😅😅

@Fatima.ameen3 2 ай бұрын

Friendly exmulim u lookin really good with that beard brother 😉Mashallah lol

@mohsinarif2802 2 ай бұрын

Congrats on getting married 🎉

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Thanks!

@leahs7024 24 күн бұрын

I know Christian couples who waited until marriage to have sex and then worked out the sex related issues whilst in the marriage. With good communication, a true connection and love for the other person, it can definitely work. Muslim couples don't put real effort into getting to know each others characters truly which is a must for a good marriage. To truly know them, truly love them, have similar goals and visions for the future together, communication that is constant and unwavering loyalty. That takes time to build and create.

@exmuslimchronicles 2 ай бұрын

19:01 "thank you so much honey" AWWWWWWWWW 🥹🥹🥹

@FriendlyExmuslim 2 ай бұрын

Heehee 🤭

@WarmcrocsandSocks Ай бұрын

Growing up muslim only times i was glad i was not straight was when I heard these kinds of stories. So common and so sad

@christinegray3548 11 күн бұрын

I'm not married and been with my other half for 33 years. Trust me I know him. This is crazy to me.

@Lisa-Lisa53 Ай бұрын

Ask questions before marriage that are make or break and don’t let them know ahead of time which it is. U want a truthful answers.

@lesliewood4069 Ай бұрын

She is doing such a great job she is a gift 🌹👍❤️🙏🙏🙏

@rossini55 2 ай бұрын

Another issue is, and this is more of a problem for Muslims in the West, is that by insisting that your spouse is also a muslim, automatically removes 95% of potential suitors. Some of whom may be perfectly compatible. So you have already shrunk the pool of choices you have.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf 2 ай бұрын

So it’s a problem that ppl have a preference and a standard for whom they want to marry. Wow

@rossini55 Ай бұрын

@@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf but the assumption is that anyone who isn't Muslim is low standard. And it isn't due to personal preference.....its due to religious pressure. The person doesn't make that choice....it is made for them. Islam limits your choice. So "wow" back to you.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf Ай бұрын

@@rossini55 not really, im not obligated to marry a Muslim, I can’t marry an atheist or Wiccan of sorts but I can marry a Christian or Jew ppl are always speaking as if they know anything about Islam when they don’t. Muslims marry Muslims because they are better. I mean look at none Muslim women. Look at society especially in the west, even decent women have been affected in some way by the poison that is the culture and I only been Muslim for six yrs. And no I’m not saying there are no Good Christian women out there, but marrying a Muslim is just safer you know what you are getting but there’s a choice. So once again it comes down to preference.

@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kf Ай бұрын

@@eletralad a Muslim slave is better that goes without saying, however a Christian man can force a Muslim women out side of her religion he can force her to worship a man and for this reason no he’s not allowed to marry her

@agnes1250 Ай бұрын

@@AbdullahIbnAbdullah-pk1kfYou "forget" to mention that according to islam, the wife is what her husband tells her to be, so if you marry a woman of a different faith, she'd have to convert. That's how islam is spread, isn't it?

@bensweiss 2 ай бұрын

So excited! Yay! Wait?! You are married to a talking reddit column? j/k Welcome whatever your name is! Love the collab! This is horrible. This is sad. I support her decision, think she should seek counseling, and I think her partner should read: Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child. I read it to understand an ex who was abused in her first marriage, but not as a child. Thank you for this.