He proves good content is enough to draw viewers. No showmanship, tricky slogans, exaggerated expressions necessary!

This guy is better than most online psychologists. Very professional!

One of my biggest struggles with BPD is that I constantly feel as if the people around me will find out who I am. That I am nothing, no one, nothing. That I am an empty shell that is nothing. Void. I must constantly keep up with reality to facade that I am real. EDIT: I didn’t say much, yet I see a lot of opinions on my self esteem and my relationships, as well as the misuse of the term gaslighting. I’m sure many in this comment section have been hurt by BPD directly or indirectly, so I get it. I have myself also been the victim of someone else’s manifestation. I would hope you all are open to seeing people as more of a part of a spectrum rather than a list of bullet point symptoms considering the amazing insight this channel offers. Identity disturbance is a hell I wish on no one, and is it not exclusive to BPD. I’m not gatekeeping or “gaslighting” an experience or symptom.

“I hurt so much , somebody else must be to blame” - that sentence stopped me in my tracks. So true

Borderline sounds like one of the most hellish personality disorders for a person to suffer from.

Watching this with treated BPD, I can see how unrealistic these thoughts are. But when I was in the midst of it, all of these thoughts seemed perfectly logical. I was never trying to be the "bad guy," I just thought people kept hurting me for no reason. It never occurred to me that I was hurting anyone else.

“When I’m sad, oh god I’m sad, but when I’m happy, oh god I’m happy.” This song lyric has always summed up how BPD feels for me.

As a 58 year old Borderline. Iam grateful for having insight and can attest that we can get better and improve over time .

Sometime I wish I could go back to childhood and know what I know now. It's crazy how our childhoods literally dictate our futures. * usually* thanks Dr. G , I am binge watching your videos. I am just ready to fix me . I have gotten the toxic people out of my life and now fixing me is hard.

"I wish I couldn't feel anything" The worst thing one can say in order to protect themselves, you'll lose it all.

"You are the person who's gonna save me from myself" This right here, is my destruction. The 3rd thoughts from each behaviour (save the rivalry part) are like nails on my coffin.

"This relationship is over when I say it's over." More people should internalize this belief. Don't utilize it as a threat. But be aware as an autonomous person, that you can elect to leave a relationship. You do not need the other person's permission or agreement.

Spot on. I’m sharing this with people in my life because it perfectly and simply explains exactly how I think and how it affects my behavior. As a person with BPD, I think the cruelest and saddest thing about it is that our behaviors are driven by what we crave more than anything-to be loved-but the ways our brains tell us how get it pushes people away. This was a great video, thank you!

My ex has borderline. It devestated me to leave him but I had to do it. I had to get off the emotional rollercoaster ride in order to find myself again and find peace. I still love him and I hope he gets proper help for his own sake and the sake of all of his relationships . I hope and pray he can find some kind of peace and balance in this life.

As someone going through a breakup and who has BPD, this is big for me. I'm learning how to accept that this is something I deal with and how I'll ever love again.

I had a best friend who identifies as bpd. I cared so much for her, but over the years, was very hurt by secretive sabatoging that I was oblivious to until sometimes years later. She had such a great side, that it was very confusing to reconcile the bad with the good. Eventually, after 30 years of friendship, I no longer engage with her. It isn't as a punishment, just self preservation. I miss her, and wonder if things would be different with some mental help. (And I recieve help, she was always distrustful of counceling.) Anyway, these are people we care about, and striving to understand behavior is a goal. My own and others. I've been as guilty as anyone of rejecting a person instead of a behavior. But I must be getting sifter, because I now am striving for compassion & care for myself and others. I am sad when I don't know what to do except stay away. Thank you for helping my understanding. I love this channel.

I worked with many clients who have BPD and it was most challenging for me. Quite often I felt I was being pushed away. One person in particular would say "You hate my guts." This wasn't true. Thanks Dr. Grande for providing detail about this personality. My supervisors were never helpful in this area.

I am big on thee texting, the anxiety and insecurity. I can see myself in it. I cannot wait for myself to be healthy when I work all the way through this 🙏

I don't believe you love me, because I am unlovable. Wow. ! I have actually had that exact thought more than once. That was like spot-on. For BPD thinking. That is really good Dr. Grand. Can you do a video on? A lot of the myths about BPD?

As I mental health nurse I really appreciate your examples of beliefs which represent different disorders. The drivers are key 🙂

I’m starting to learn that I don’t know enough about psychology to pin down someone’s else’s or even my own psychological difficulties. It’s complicated!

Isn't it a bit early for you, Dr Grande? 😄 🦉 BPD - Wow, have you nailed this with the female. This is an illness with a lot of problems. It's so complex that it's exhausting. Identity problems are rampant, too. Hypersexuality, altered reality, mania, impulsivity, excess need for things, food and people etc. I almost wish I hadn't dealt with my charge for 3 years. It began to feel like poison. It didn't help that her mom is a narcissistic, supercilious, thin-skinned, judgemental whacko. Thank you, Dr. Grande. You are a hard worker with these exhausting illnesses. ☺ You're appreciated all around. 👍🌹

10:07 - Yes. My BPD boasted about his "Instincts," and his feelings about the reality of the moment were always predicated on how he felt. If he felt great, he thought I was the cause; if he felt terrible or angry, I was the cause. That and his constant projection were the weirdest part of this disorder to me. But come to think about it, the unstable affect and projection are two sides of the same coin.

💘 Love your professionalism and comparisons in this video of thoughts that drive behaviors, especially as ir refers to BPD. Excellent video - You're the best!!

Thank you, Dr. Grande. BPD is the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with, watching your videos helps me understand myself a little better, and improve. Taking it day by day, thank you for your hard work. 💜

Hello Dr. Grande, I have to say I really enjoy listening to you and learning from your videos. You explain topics in a way I can understand and do not come off sounding like a text book. Also, there is no arrogance on your behalf and you maintain a very professional and non- judgemental position on the topics you discuss. Your videos are very educational and have helped me in my personal life along with therapy. Thank you for what you do!

This video describes with great accuracy many of the thoughts and ideas I've encounter within my personal (and intimate) interaction with BDP. Highly valuable video. Thanks so much Dr. Grande.

My First comment. Watching the gentleman for 3 months. Extremely articulate characterized my extreme thoughtfulness. He’s hired!😉

This is by far the most relatabale explanation of a borderline's thinking I have ever come across. Some points seems to be overlapping with covert narcissism though, if I understand it correctly. It would be awesome to see a video of yours on the differentiation of both. But these 15 mins here are simply breathtakingly relatable. Thank you very much, Todd.

Dr. Todd Grande you helped me get the statistics right for my bachelor thesis which I will be handing in tomorrow. At the same time i learned a lot about mental health, its a great combination

I appreciate that in many of your videos you focus on the thoughts and feelings underpinning behavior.

This type of video with the examples of thoughts associated with the disorder was very educational. Love it.

New shirt, new glasses, and a new You DR. GRANDE! I can't concentrate the night owls are singing so loud. Thank you for this very interesting video.

As someone diagnosed with BPD I do definitely identify with a few of these thoughts. I was surprised that I couldn't relate to most of them. I think there was more of a focus on extreme thoughts/behavours that I have not personally experienced. But everyone with BPD is different. Interesting video nonetheless.

Dr. Todd Grande Terrific!!! You just described everyone I know including myself. Joy to the world and I will continue to Pray.

Incredibly insightful. Very professional demeanour as always. Long video but never leaves dead ends or important ideas untouched. Thanks again

Just had my sports hour, and Dr. Grande has posted, fantastic. 😃 🌺

Incredible video! You've given me insight, into somebody I love, very dearly!! Thank you Dr Grande! Knocked it out the ball park... again!! 🐛📚🦋

Thank you for your video which describes not only the behavior of bpd but the underlying thinking that leads to the behavior 1 year ago I broke off a relationship with my bpd x and had to go total no contact this video helped me understand what happened at a level I hadn't heard before thank you again p.s. your one of the best content providers on other topics as well so it's a great channel for me

Thank you Dr Grande for sharing such valuable information You help so many of us non bpds and bpds The Ole adage" knowledge is power " yet the "use of knowledge" is what's truly paramount ! Keep doing what you do God bless you and yours 🙏❤

Great video. I think this type of analysis is sorely missing in daily life. These types of reflection on others thoughts and motives juxtaposed against the way they are express should be an exercise in school from k-12. It's a less intimidating way to start the process of knowing how you may relate to your own feelings, perceptions and actions. Just great educational material and thought provoking.

Dr. Grande i love this type of video that shows the inner workings of the mind. Can you make similar for other personality disorders?

Dr. Grande, his is not only a profecional in his field, he is kind and well documented communicator, shy to say he has the knowledge, he is the best in youtbe. his videos helped me to survived a trauma dealing with a BPD partner that ended up in a tragedy murder case. thanks. I will keep fighting to find closure and healing.

Thank you! Your explanations are always clear and easily understood. I’ve gained so much from your work.

Fantastic video. Please do more of these kind of videos from the perspective of the other 8 personality disorders, if possible, Dr. Grande. Thanks 😃🇳🇱

This is a very thorough and insightful video 🙌 Borderline Personality Disorder is a very sad mental illness when you really delve into it 😔 Many thanks for the post, all the way from little old Tasmania, Australia 😌

Your voice is so calming and comforting. Thank you. I am an aspiring therapist. Love your content.

Wow... the love triangle thing, and not being able to let the ex husband go... that was me 100% for the last two years. Trying to mess up their relationship because I was in denial. I believed we were soul mates, I was his one true love. Now I see the truth after recently being diagnosed BPD. This is insane. Thank you for this video

Your content was extremely valuable to me while studying my psychology degree. Thank you

I have BPD, as well. I was diagnosed 7 years ago, how about you. It was the oddest day.. I remember the psychiatrist finally coming up with a diagnosis after 14 months or so. He said with my existing conditions, it was harder to diagnose, and he wanted to be positive (before him I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, & Bipolar disorder- rapid cycling (Both by psychologist I saw for about 6 months each), but I went the therapist/psychiatrist route after that. I remember the day he diagnosed me like it wad yesterday. The psychiatrist read off the DSM book about BPD, & I was shocked & alarmed bc it fit so well. I have anxiety, panic disorder, Major depressive disorder, OCD bc it is an automatic diagnosis when you have anorexia nervosa (almost fully recovered), BDD, and PTSD. I moved since then and my current psychiatrist wants me to try the magnet brain therapy, and/or ketamine, which the FDA just approved for depression (i think you have to go to a place every other week to get the treatment.. I know what to do?! Had anyone tried either? Her mentioned ETC as an option, but definitely too scared for that!!... Oh I forgot to mention, over been dealing with pretty bad depression (It was all genetics, bc I had a very nice childhood, always had a lot of friends, never got bullied/, never bullied! It just began with a panic attack at 19 and progressed...I've been with my husband for 10 years (including dating), and he is absolutely amazing (got married at 22!) We have a beautiful healthy little girl, dream house/location - I am very grateful and I know I am blessed and take nothing for granted.. I just wanted to show how genetics can have such a big impact on your mental well being! My husband is perfectly fine, so I hope not to pass anything down to our daughter 💗😣💗... I have a great support system, but I still suffer greatly. I hope the newly FDA approved ketamine helps, or the brain magnet therapy! Sending my love and hope to everyone 💜💕💜💕

I can tell that he is truly passionate and genuine in his videos. He's not trying to be something he's not. Of course the information is excellent and correct but I think he's having success on yt because he's being himself

Soooo good!!! Thank you for making this video Dr. Grande!

I appreciate the insights this video provides. I would like to see something like this for those who suffer from c-PTSD

Thank you Dr Grande for all informative educational videos. I've found your simple yet thorough explanations of DSM org or classification of traits/disorders to be a user-friendly approach to a complex field. And your behavior analyses to be a logical insightful understandable breakdown of what can be a challenging or emotionally charged subject. (Esp helpful for those of us whose fam patterns, dysfunctions and disorders really do deserve a separate cluster all to ourselves lol;)

I found this very interesting and will watch it again -There is often more than one 'type' of personality trait co-existing which muddies the waters of understanding. People often focus on one classifaction only. Thanks for this Todd

this is my favorite video you’ve ever made Doc! thanks buddy

I suffer from BPD and this really helped me identify some of my behaviour and stuff. It's hell to live I can't take it anymore but trying to understand myself helps a lot. So thanks Todd, you've really helped!

Very interesting. It makes me think about the fact that the personality classification (the one with clusters) can be interconnected in such way that... well, do really someone fit in the mould of this or that PD? It's useful of course because it gives some landmarks, yet it's so complex it seems impossible to define true, reliable diagnoses, especially for PD because you can develop secondary psychiatric issues. Nice new glasses by the way! 👍

This week has been a better one for me thanks to you Dr Grande, Im very grateful for your videos 😊

Dr. Grande I am so grateful for your encouragement to students who share important and the most logical making sense information here. Like another student researcher who said there is lots of research showing that a large factor which causes Borderline PErsonality Disorder is a history of suffering for a long time from emotional abuse. All of a sudden a light went off in my own head when seeing that comment. Emotional abuse includes people presenting medical information to them as if that information is written in stone as a life sentence only because at the time they see those people as having no meaning in life because of the lack of quality of life compared to their own while believing that they can know the full perspective of their patient or spouse in the entirety of that patient's or spouse's totality of their life experience. Which as a housekeeper to the wife of one psychiatrist in the city where i live in who was close to retirement reported to both me and my mother who was housekeeper there too at the time there while her psychiatrist husband was gone from the home before my mother became a PCA at age 50..

The constantly-having-to-be-in-communication part is so revealing... in my wife's case, it was like...she didn't just want a HUSBAND...it was like she wanted a BRAIN-GRAFT...

Dr Todd's videos are world class hes punctual insightful and never ceases to astonish me- class 101

Holy shit….. THANK YOU. I didn’t understand why my friend who I’ve always been loyal to & supportive of physically wigged out on me & gave the dude emotionally abusing her a pass.. wow.. so much of what you’ve said here has unravelled the confusion I’ve been experiencing, with them, my own shit, dang Dr. Grande, thank you so much.

Thank you Dr. Grande for your channel. I admire your work and I am learning many things I have always wondered about. At the same time, I am aware of the fact that the human condition entails much more than a bunch of labels.

Everything in my life has always been toxic. I am at the end of my rope. I've watched every video on youtube to try to figure it all out but I just end up more frustrated. Ive pushed everyone away. I spend my time alone in a dark room. Everyday is a little harder to get through than the last.

Thanks Dr. Grande! You've taught me a lot about my disorder.

This video is an eye opener. I have 9/10 I knew something was wrong with Mr. I have a distorted thoughts and perceptions, and I do feel my emotions are real, real for me,but not for the rest of the people. I will work on right perception of reality, thought process and emotion regulation. Your videos are game changing 🙏

Good morning. Thank you for another great video Dr. Grande. Hope you have a nice day☺️

A person can have some of the traits without having the disorder.

Exquisitely specific illustrations & explanations--crystal clear! TY So much Dr. G!

"I'm unlovable, so I find it highly suspicious that you really love me." Bigtime. I got the adoption turbo on that engine, too. 🤙 Edit: 10:08 on, too. Thank you for putting a voice to this. The knowledge that you distort your own reality and live in it and how blurry the lines get really lend to wanting to feel nothing at all. Edit2 squirrelbrain boogaloo - the gaslighting we do to ourselves is super awful. Goddang the more I listen the more i feel like I'm not alone. Edit3 - 12:22 oh, hey, literally my last boss! Same with his wife and kids. Always talking at me like a disappointed parent.

I'm glad he explained texting, it's a frantic effort to avoid abandonment. Now I know why people are always ditting on gadgets.

I've noticed that a lot of people that I suspect to have borderline personality disorder are being diagnosed with bipolar disorder - they are not being medicated in line with bipolar disorder and are being treated with "borderline typical" treatments such as dialectal behavior therapy or given medical marijuana prescriptions etc. I suspect that due to the stigma, therapists have been avoiding the diagnosis. This can be very harmful. Even more so if they give someone with borderline pd lithium. I was wondering if others have noticed this and / or if there is more information out there regarding it. Thanks!

oh my goodness...you just clarified some of the crazy thinking I cannot understand but have to deal with. Thank you!

Excellent comparison. Clear, concise and useful. Thank you Sir!!!

The way you explain things make me think wow my thinking really is disturbed sometimes... will try to keep that all in mind.

Long time no see, borderline. I mean on your channel, because I struggle with BPD 😅 I'm listening to it right away! I enjoy all your videos but indeed BPD draws particularly my attention... 👍 Keep up the good work!

Dr~ you're looking VERY BEAUTIFUL with your new specs 😍 I'm very grateful for you, beyond words could show appreciation! Hands down, one of my favourite channels!! #beautifullybrOKen 💔💟💗🖤

Dear Doctor Grande, I truly want to express my deep gratitude for every single video released on your Channel about BPD as I live with one & suffer from it severely. Sometimes, I do not know how to navigate through the turbulent discourse of this disease. Many of your videos I find to be extremely helpful to assist me in my daily living and behavioral adjustments necessary in order not to even be noticed as a BPD patient. Thank you for more knowledge and confidence you have given to me thus far.

This was very helpful and informative, Dr. Grande. Thank you.

I'm so exhausted from a lifetime of BPD...that I don't even want to get out of bed.

I had a very intense 1st relationship as a teenager with a girl who had BPD for 2 to 3 years. I could handle it but I ended the relationship because it was making me unhappy. I think 75% of this video applied for her and It's so recognizable It's scary. I always think (but I'm not qualified)that the root of most BPD cases is some form of lack of attention/fear of abandonment issue.

Thank you for your insights. I was in a relationship with a man a few years ago with bpd. We had potential but he didn't want to go for therapy even through he acknowledged he needed it. Life became destructive and unhappy and I felt threatened. He is a wonderful person with so much potential but his headspace limits him in life. I hope he gets the help he needs someday to be at ease with himself.

Wow these are all just fabulous and would help many writers as well trying to construct interesting characters for their books. I think many people have these types of disorders and could benefit from counseling to help correct their thinking that leads to destructive behaviors. I have hopes many people can better themselves through these videos as well especially if counseling is unaffordable for them. Thanks so much!!

I loved the comparison among different disorders that cause the same behavior! Fascinating. I was diagnosed with BPD a long time ago, however listening these examples some don't ring a bell. I mean, the void and the insecurity, fear of abandonment, totally right. But the manipulation, revenge, blame on others, acting out to get others to come back, not at all. Interesting, nonetheless. 👌

It's crazy how impactful this disorder is on others. It's tough and right there with npd. It's a huge and unfortunately common disorder.

Hey Dr. G. Love the video. And I'm loving your new look. 💙💙💙

You always give such good information. Thank you.

Thank you. And I love your new glasses. 💕🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇬🇧

Great analysis as always Dr. Grande! But what I really wish you would’ve added to this fine piece is, unlike NPD, where if encountered, it is an always RUN! Or is there an opportunity to stay when dealing with a BPD individual.

Dr. Grande- I really like the cross-cutting approach. It's very helpful. I know you touched on anger, but I was hoping you would focus specifically on anger and rage across the Cluster Bs.

Thank you for being here your knowledge is so valuable beyond belief you know more that leading mental health experts and it's understandable which of course is hard to find then expertise and the literacy .

👍🏻 Enjoyed this one. 🙏

I feel that early childhood abuse by a very close family member or friend is the main causation of BPD. It's kind of like being in prison and Having a protector from outside harm, but that protector is also really a very scary predator themselves that abuses you. The child has a very grown up internal struggle playing out. This is where the zoning out and disassociation come in, to mentally protect from the physical harm being done.

🌺 Yes I found your analysis of this topic to be interesting, thanks for making. The way it is done is a great way to illustrate it. There's not much to say, but that this is pretty much me in my twenties, before I developed my illnesses.

These are great to go back to, a treasure of a library here

New glasses? Very intellectual 😎

I'm afraid that I might have bpd. I relate so much with the whole love and hate towards an individual. The emotions I feel are so overwhelming and it genuinely scare me. I try separating myself from that person because I don't want to go through that whole cycle over and over again. Idk. Thank you for the video. Ur very helpful and informative :')

Very helpful. It took me years to start figuring out the thoughts behind my partner's outward behaviors. For us out here dealing with a partner diagnosed with BPD we are always informed of the traits of BPD, but not typically given insight into our partner's thoughts. Even the numerous books on the topic often (not always) don't really get past behaviors. Thank you very much for your very clear explanation on this topic. This information can really be put into use right away for reaching in to understand. I'm actually taking notes. Thank you.

I found this video comforting, because I don't relate to ANY of these thoughts. I was misdiagnosed a few years ago as having "BPD traits" and have since undergone testing and discovered it's more likely to be autism (still in the diagnostic process though). Because of this BPD label, I was so scared of being manipulative or attention seeking. I stopped opening up to my friends, because what if I was manipulating them into caring about me? I recently had some serious health issues and when my friends found out they were like Why didn't you tell us? Well, the answer is because I was worried I was being attention seeking or manipulative. It also took me a really long time to seek medical treatment because again, I was worried about being attention seeking. I am so heartbroken by the damage this misdiagnosis has done and I wish more professionals were properly educated on this before they start throwing the label around.