Toddlers Cannot Share | How forced sharing leads to people pleasing

Рет қаралды 2,106

3 ай бұрын

This week the girls chat about Layne's viral reel on why sharing is not developmentally appropriate for toddlers and how forcing them to share actually leads to people pleasing tendencies in adulthood. We discuss how conflict avoidance and the fear of being judged affect parenting choices. We lay out more age-appropriate ways to help toddlers negotiate shared space and materials, how to support healthy boundaries for children and how to help them regulate the difficult feelings of wanting something you can't have right away. We cover what to do when a child hoards all the toy dinosaurs, taking turns on the swing set, setting timers and so, so much more.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
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Пікірлер: 15

@justplanejackie 3 ай бұрын

I loved this. One thing I started doing with my toddler whom is now 4 and has a 1yo brother, is I let him declare a “Special toy” every day one big and one small toy, and he knows I’ll defend that toy for him whenever he tells me what it is. So I’ll explain to other kids that it’s his special toy right now and I won’t let the baby snatch that toy. And then when the baby takes a different toy from him, I explain that he didn’t declare that as a special toy to anyone so unless he wants to change it to that one, he needs to let it go. Sometimes it’s a group of things like a building set too etc.

@L-rd8ye Ай бұрын

Love this podcast! I am such a people pleaser. Thank you both!

@eleanor4759 3 ай бұрын

This was one of the most fascinating episodes. You're so knowledgeable Layne!

@tamara7008 3 ай бұрын

Such a good episode! So many great takeaways. I love Layne's passion for toddlers and learning.

@ashleywall9886 2 ай бұрын

I’m only part of the way through but I would love to hear about how to help lessen the anxiety for my toddler when taking away a pacifier. We have been pretty relaxed as we have a 6 month old too but I know eventually he will need to let it go but it makes him so so anxious. He is already a sweet and sensitive boy so I don’t want to overwhelm him. You guys are the best!! Thank you for these videos!

@Dana-mb1hd 3 ай бұрын

I LOVE these videos they are incredibly helpful as a mama to a 3 year old. I Often feel like I’m drowning, but you 2 put things into perspective for me. thank you.❤

@jess_hover 3 ай бұрын

That makes me SO happy! You're doing an amazing job over there. Thank you for watching/listening :)

@brendaomeze6851 3 ай бұрын

Interesting about the perspective of a toddler..i experienced it firsthand. My toddler daughter was holding up a picture she drew facing her and telling me about it like i could see it ..when i said i couldn't see it, she was first very confused until i explained it's facing her

@emilyw2790 3 ай бұрын

Great episode. Thanks Jessica for the example of the swing at the end. About loving neighbour as yourself. Wow that hit home. Like it very much is about self too.

@PriscillaDesiree 3 ай бұрын

Wow what a great one! I felt like you were describing me as you read the last comment at the end! I have a sister (1.5 yrs older) and while I don't have a ton of memories about forced sharing, I know it was a thing and even culturally that's how it was growing up. I'm working through people pleasing and it's taken a while to unlearn certain behaviors. I'm interested to know your thoughts on gift giving when it's a child's birthday or specific occasion for one child but not the others. Growing up when it was one of our birthdays, the birthday child would get a gift and so would the sibling. I always thought oh how nice but then as I grew up, I realized that may have been a conflict avoidance tactic to keep the peace and not make anyone feel left out but it IS that child's birthday and everyone's birthday comes around yearly so why not explain to the other child that we have an opportunity to wait in anticipation for when it's their birthday to receive a gift. I don't know, I could be way off here but I'm curious to hear your perspective!

@brendaomeze6851 3 ай бұрын

I dont live in America (i live in Austria.. Europe😅 believe me, i apparently need to add that😅 Austria in Europe) and the first time i found out you pay lots for an Ambulance ride, i was 😮😮