Tone of Voice in Communication

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This video looks at how our tone of voice in communication influences the way we are perceived including a look at our other nonverbal vocal cues and visual cues. Get the Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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When people say "tone" of voice, they often mean much more than the musical tonality of our voice. They often use the term tone to refer to our overall sound and the attitude, emotion, and shades of meaning our "tone" communicates. Typically, that involves or tone, volume, pacing, emphasis, and pauses. We hear those all at once. We really don't separate the tone.
Our visual nonverbal cues also influence the way our tone of voice is perceived by others.
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Пікірлер: 379

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

@mrsmurray9541 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve ran into so many disagreements because I don’t know how to use a good, relatable tone. I don’t even pay attention to tones tbh. I focused more on words but thanks to this video I can understand what people have been saying

@user-rb8td1lw8y Ай бұрын

Same

@fahmiramli743 4 жыл бұрын

I never had a good control of my tone because i dont understand it hearing different tones but this guy simplified most of it in one video. Good jod!

@jasmellejaramillo7854 5 жыл бұрын

Personal Reference: 3:10 - "Im Fine" 3:30 - Seven Word 4:28 - End of Seven Word emphasis 4:50 - Visual Cues With Example 6:23 - END

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks! A little index for viewers. I like it. :-)

@Susanrose208 3 жыл бұрын

This is great for relationships too. This is a great breakdown! I like that you said people give more weight to the nonverbal cues over actual words spoken & that a frustrated tone is almost always taken as a personal attack to the listener(s). So very true!

@juliejenkins799 3 жыл бұрын

A tone of voice really is a far bigger tell about a person's attitude than the words they speak and far more truthful. For it is an unconscious behavior not easily hidden. Some shout their heart tone while others may just whisper.

@Ramadmurthy 2 жыл бұрын

I am happy to have the similar opinion.

@isidoreaerys8745 2 жыл бұрын

Ugh. Your example really pegged me. This is something I need to work on. People in the past have not taken me seriously and complained that I have a very sardonic, facetious tone... now I know I can work on projecting sincerity using more than simply my vocal inflection.

@shellymares3188 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Alex! I am a Speech Pathologist working with high school students on social skills. You have provided an excellent description and I really appreciate it!

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Shelly. Glad it helps. Nice to meet you.

@eianwilliams7238 3 ай бұрын

So well said. I learn this from Jamaica. It definitely makes me a better person in delivering signals. While i am sharing this, i hope many more people will watch it

@NutriGenicsClinic 3 жыл бұрын

A fabulous 8.03 min video explaining the tone of voice. Thank you very much! I used to describe this as "the power of intention" whereby you could insult somebody and they would laugh infectiously or pay a compliment to somebody which they wouldn't believe at all. That is how the intention is behind the words and perspires through them.

@Dryltd 4 жыл бұрын

My tone is mad. The person says "you sound mad." I say "yeah" in the aggravated tone and they tell me to fix my tone. I communicated my feelings completely. Maybe I misunderstood their tone of "you sound mad." I don't think the average lay person knows when to give advice about tone. Glad I found this video. I can direct someone here and stay out of the problem.

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@patbailey 2 ай бұрын

Tones can be both telling and (oddly) misleading. Thank you so much for these two videos.

@JahanzebJahan 4 жыл бұрын

Well said. Our intonation destroys or saves the communication

@jonlabani7851 3 жыл бұрын

I am deep down cynical and sarcastic. I never consciously realized that about myself until now, but it could explain people's (strangers) tense tonality when they respond to me. Perhaps I should learn to be more of an inspirer rather than a cynic. Thanks!

@anndorais4460 2 жыл бұрын

I'm a speech language pathologist and I have loved many of your videos! I have worked with adults, high schoolers and now with junior high schoolers. You have clear explanations and good examples. I've gotten positive feedback from the students when I show your videos. It helps them understand more and they share personal information more easily after seeing your videos. Thank you so much.

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing, Ann. I appreciate your encouragement!

@jessicamonson4304 4 жыл бұрын

I am a speech teacher and I am working with a kid that is working on his tone of voice and this video really helped us. We liked the way you described the tone of voice and how it was like the musical notes. Great video - very helpful! (dictated by student, typed by SLP)

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Awesome! Glad the video is helpful. :-)

@johncoates7106 5 жыл бұрын

Very clear and well explained, friendly and non patronising video, thank you!

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks, John. I'm glad it was helpful.

@MikotoKenn 4 жыл бұрын

I am quite a shy person, so it's hard to speak and when I speak it's a shy children tone. People also say that my tone is monotonous and it's difficult for others to hear me. I want to change it to more audible one, have confidence and be more manly rather than that childlike voice.

@Sabrewolf0 4 жыл бұрын

What have you done to improve it?

@kb.gaming2052 3 жыл бұрын

my girlfriend felt the same. she wanted to improve her childish tone and monotonous.

@MikotoKenn 3 жыл бұрын

@@Sabrewolf0 There is a channel called "Improve your voice" it has wonderful exercises. In addition to singing.

@MikotoKenn 3 жыл бұрын

@@kb.gaming2052 Good luck for her :)

@Sabrewolf0 3 жыл бұрын

@@MikotoKenn I've improved a little bit, but I'll try more exercises, thank you.

@NYTruthseeker 4 жыл бұрын

Excellent video. Responding to Anchit Anand (below), My angry tone is triggered when people misunderstand me and show no desire to understand. It comes from age 5 when my mother would hit me because me and my little sister were fighting. My sister was was mean and cruel to me through our teen years and always the instigator. My mother didn't want to know. Now that I have the awareness of my trigger, I can choose to change it.

@PhuongLe-vj8nm 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, keep doing this !

@peitanaden1840 2 жыл бұрын

I am really glad I have come across your site. I have come to realise that my "tone" is coming across negatively. As an educator, it is not very encouraging and is now something I am striving to work on. Both this and your other video on tone of voice regarding mindset are great for me to start focussing on. Thanks.

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your example, Peita. I'm glad the videos are helpful to you.

@uumarch6818 5 жыл бұрын

Awesome video I use this video as a tool in developing my staff! Thank you!

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Awesome. Thanks for letting me know and it's nice to meet you.

@dezg8911 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the video! I love how you gave the examples. I was told that when I deliver a speech that my voice sounds good, the pace is good, but I have to work on the tonality. So this video helped a lot. Thanks Coach!

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful, DEZ G.

@AllThingsSoul 4 жыл бұрын

Great video. Very helpful. Thank you!

@marshamcguire7586 5 жыл бұрын

Excellent video, thank you for putting it so clearly

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Marsha. Glad it was helpful.

@CountryTownSounds 5 жыл бұрын

This is very well put! Someone I talk to has a lot of issues with tone and don't understand how upsetting it is to me. I think this will help me to explain to him why what he's saying and how he says it are two different things. Thank you for this video!

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

I'm glad it was helpful. A friend once said to me, "If your tone would make the phrase, 'you idiot' sound natural at the end of a sentence, you're using the wrong tone." The key is, we are responsible for our tone as much as our words. Both have an impact on the people around us.

@aniquebartley7663 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! This was very helpful 🙏🏿

@mming0512 5 жыл бұрын

Sometimes i would say things and in my mind i am calm because i know that I am, but to people around me it seem like i am quarelling with them. They would say things like you have some serious attitude, or why you quarelling with me or watch your tone. It frustrates me all because most times sometimes I am calm until i get accused of being angrry until i do get angry which is not good. How can I fix that?

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

I'm wondering what cues they might be picking up on that give them that impression? I'd say next time somebody says that, just ask them. Say something like, "You know I hear that a lot. I feel calm inside. What am I doing that seems angry?" If you know them and trust them, have an honest conversation and see if you can get more specific feedback.

@BeautyAzontoGal 5 жыл бұрын

mming0512 I thought I was alone!

@orderinprogress3954 4 жыл бұрын

Speak slower and make eye contact. No lazy eye lids! Open eyes. This helps if you struggle with vocal tones.

@jystcarter1773 4 жыл бұрын

This!!

@naturally_dreaa9051 4 жыл бұрын

mming0512 man you took the words right out of my mouth , I’m currently dealing with this and I couldn’t explain it to people , if you gotten better please share .

@louisedutoit499 Жыл бұрын

Very helpful indeed for both personal and professional settings. Thanks very much!

@normcook9335 5 жыл бұрын

Frank Zappa said music is a "collection of sounds", which is precisely what a person's voice is. All excellent points - thanks for the video.

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

That's a great quote, Norm. Thanks for contributing. Frank Zappa knows about sound. He's amazing. I'm a (former) musician and have a lot of respect for him.

@gaiasmoon Жыл бұрын

Tone carries a lot of weight in getting one's point across to the person they're speaking to. It's also something that's really hard to achieve in written conversation. Hence text messages and emails sometimes resulting in a misunderstanding. Great video. Thank you.🌿🌱☘️

@octoberdawn1087 2 жыл бұрын

I'm using this for an English II curriculum assignment on word choice tone analysis. 😃 1st we worked on word choice & tone in literary situations. Then this video. After this is the Seinfeild stand-up bit where he talks about tone of voice between him and his partner. He actually gives and impersonations and examples. It's pretty funny, definately relatable, and pairs well with this video for a home school curriculum. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

@characterthepowerwithin 3 жыл бұрын

You have explained it so well

@b.christensen9669 Жыл бұрын

I can speak quickly with frustration. I sound and look so rude. Thank you for the tips and for opening my eyes about my tone.

@williamkarl-gustafmoller8492 Жыл бұрын

Watch George Lucas interviews. Record yourself. Record yourself with a much better try. Listen to those three recordnings side by side. - - Thats how i would learn to pronounce and effectively talk faster. Not interested in learning to talk faster as my tounge doesnt fit inside my mouth and its a guttural speach that requires a deliberate, slow pace.

@SumanShimmers 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the video. I just joined my professional life and i have been receiving few negative responses cuz of my tone of voice. Now i know how can i change my tone. Thanks a ton again.God bless u.

@jazminnjohnson8945 4 жыл бұрын

😳You know it's not really easy to change our voices you know but the video helped me too😀

@vinarkmp 4 жыл бұрын

This is excellent, thank you for this video on Tone in verbal communication.

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks, vinark. I appreciate it.

@oguzguldurmez806 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Alex. I really enjoyed your video. I did not think this way before.

@olgastrecker4733 2 жыл бұрын

great video as a refresher / reminder how to communicate effectively

@hossamyasser8651 Жыл бұрын

God bless you, coach.

@izdadm9419 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much for the tips given

@user-uy3ps3bm8v 4 ай бұрын

Thank you very much. This video is very helpful and informative.

@anthonyrossmaund3161 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for these two videos!

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

Glad they were helpful, Anthony.

@Solomon2024 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the video.

@almedinakahrimanovic845 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Alex. This is very useful for me as I am a tutor at the college, I need to be aware of my tone of voice and that of my learners. Thank you .

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful. I'm sure as a tutor, there's a bi of frustration that can creep in when nothing you try seems to help.

@anitahedgecock1968 4 жыл бұрын

Excellent ! Thank You ☺🌻

@hajarabdullah5622 5 жыл бұрын

Much respect 🌸👏🏽🌹 Thanks to the moon and back 💕

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful, Hajar. I'd say "tone" has a much bigger influence than our words in terms of how we come across.

@rodcurvelo4075 4 жыл бұрын

I have ADHD with RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) and this video helped me a lot!

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

I'm glad it was helpful, Rod.

@harshitborkar5986 4 жыл бұрын

very helpful video thanks ☺😊

@mrsfakahilimaimaimaipoumal7306 3 жыл бұрын

no one is imperfect applying the power of empathy helps alot understanding helping the helper and helpee etc..

@StephenKeery 5 жыл бұрын

Excellent. The reference to music will enable me to deliver a better example of tone.

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Hi, Stephen. Glad it was helpful. Thanks for the encouragement.

@slvertne_8437 3 жыл бұрын

thank you, i finally understand it

@preetiudi 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent video. Alex, you have explained the different aspects of speech very clearly

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it!

@jennifertschilar7410 3 жыл бұрын

Great video! Thank you!

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

You are welcome, Jennifer.

@user-kc8we4cs1i Жыл бұрын

beautifully done, thank you

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Thank you.

@agussumawigena4565 4 жыл бұрын

Very very useful thank you

@erickpeterTV 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video. It's so helpful :)

@knr6411 3 жыл бұрын

Could you give a video of examples of different voice inflections/tones that allow for different communication to come off- such as warm/welcoming, understanding, etc.

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

That's not a bad idea. I'll give that some thought.

@mattheweaster7978 3 жыл бұрын

Well done.

@youcantalkyourwaytohealthi8884 4 жыл бұрын

Great content! I agree...Tone is just 1 part but a very important one! Thanks for sharing!

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it. Also, I just checked out your channel and it's great!!! Your style is smooth and authentic. You clearly love God (as do I), and the content is super helpful. Way to go, Ruth! So glad to meet you!

@youcantalkyourwaytohealthi8884 4 жыл бұрын

Communication Coach Alex Lyon Thank You 🙏🏾

@ayooladamilola4386 2 жыл бұрын

This is really very educative, explicit and comprehensible. Thanks for sharing, I'm certainly clear now.

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@morganpeace6867 3 жыл бұрын

Very helpful, thank you so much, keep up the good work!

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Morgan. Thank you for the encouragement.

@bwilsonbp Жыл бұрын

Great video, Alex. You touched upon the sing-song tone issue, but didn’t talk about how it’s become an epidemic for people, especially women, who end sentences with an up inflection, making it sound as if it’s a question. With my speech communication students, I encourage them to recognize this growing habit to raise their pitch and how it impacts their credibility. Keep up the good work.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

I have a video on that and it's called Uptalk. But it's not gender-specific. In fact, it's a huge trend among the males of Silicon Valley. It seems more tied to age than gender. It's most common among Gen X and Gen Z.

@nitongpelingon8374 Жыл бұрын

really great channel

@anchitanand6801 5 жыл бұрын

Hi I always hear people telling me that my tone of voice is just opposite of what I mean to say and that is my nature. Whenever I conversate with them all I get to hear is “watch your tone" even when I'm having a very normal and casual kinda conversation all I get to hear is “improve your tone". Could you please suggest me some remedies to it?

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

I hear this question a lot. So, you are not alone. It's difficult for me to give you advice because I haven't heard your tone myself. However, if you are consistently getting feedback that your tone is not good (and you really don't feel negative when you're communicating), I see two possibilities. 1. Maybe you are feeling badly (e.g., frustrated, annoyed, angry, etc.) but you don't realize it. You may just be used to a certain level of bad feelings so it feels somewhat normal to you. If so, you'd still likely be communicating in a tone that is not consistent with the mood of the other people around you. 2. Another possibility is that you have a habit that you don't notice. Maybe you've gotten used to talking with a certain emphasis over the years. Do you ever sound like your mother or father, for example? If so, how do they sound? Do they have a similar negative tone? So, I can't give you any remedies since I don't really know what the core issue is. But, if you figure out what is driving your tone in the first place, then I'm sure you'll be much closer to finding a solution. I hope this helps.

@paulinek5491 4 жыл бұрын

I see my twin..... I get the exact comments and it's now getting to my nerves.

@asmaalasheen1951 4 жыл бұрын

For me, it's no 1. When I feel happy, my tone is happy, positive, and full of energy. However, am easily annoyed. Whenever someone pissed me off, I find my tone is very negative but unfortunately with those who didn't do anything bad to me. How can I control that. Thanks

@dipalivaijapurkar3 4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@Daphattack 3 жыл бұрын

As someone that had that feedback for a loooong time. You are doing the right thing by educating yourself. Also use your phone! I recorded myself and heard myself back. When I get frustrated or excited my pitch of voice would go higher and louder. I learned that if I went lower and slower people would be more receptive to what I am saying. Hope this helps. Im still learning and I am coaching others now because Ive been told I am an excellent communicator. I am 40 now, I started learning at 20 so its been a while 😂

@marcialaboo3996 Жыл бұрын

Having worked a phone job for many years, I know that tone is everything. Teaching this to my teenage daughter is a real struggle though.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Oh, yes. Teenagers often have challenging tones!

@micheymon 3 жыл бұрын

Very helpful

@jmc3271 3 жыл бұрын

Great breakdown!

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@arvindkumar-lq3mx 3 жыл бұрын

resourceful video

@juananthonyporter7441 4 жыл бұрын

Iam soft spoken at times, so when i repeat what i said ...people usually go "oh!...okay!"...lol

@ardent307 Жыл бұрын

Thanks

@mikeh1245 2 жыл бұрын

I love this

@vantharychung4034 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you. I have learned a lot from watching your videos.

@irieberreta1525 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you my momma keep saying that I have the wrong tone of voice💯

@GodisSemperfidelis Жыл бұрын

Good job

@NatureNut24 3 жыл бұрын

My tone of voice needs help. I just found you but you will start seeing me around. Help an empath hide emotions and have a respectful caring tone.😭😢 I am misperceived and it kills my heart.

@muhammadsheraz8809 4 жыл бұрын

Nice one sir! Well mostly people consider my tone as warming and welcoming n indeed really it help me a lot in my communication

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Keep it up!

@robertviragh6527 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this informative video. I also appreciated the Alex's Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills in your link, which I downloaded and read through. It is concise and a great resource! Have a nice day.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@diamondnoor2088 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks helped me to complete my homework

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Happy to help.

@scottrichey430 2 жыл бұрын

Very well said. Thank you! : )

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@anuragjain9359 5 жыл бұрын

Simply GREAT GREAT GREAAAAAATTTTTTT👌👌👌👌

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Hi, Anurag. Glad the video was helpful. 🙂

@cesarzamora3231 5 жыл бұрын

I believe my tone of voice is very direct and strong. it is any exercises that I can do in order to modulate my voice and do not come to strong to people, it is something that I need to catch myself and at that moment change my tone of voice... all help will be really appreciated. Thank you

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for contributing, Cesar.

@firefoxo 4 жыл бұрын

I tend to think myself as a calm guy, not arrogant. But I also perceive that sometimes my tone of voice is hard for people to understand. The higher I raise my voice, the harder for people to understand. So I try to speak calm, and in that process I also perceive myself as weak in the communication department.

@sparshdancing4130 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, 😯 that was really informative.. I liked the way you explained it, and how to implement this in our practical life😁 And I would like to emphasise on the point that "Eye contact" is also a very important non verbal cue! 👀 Like I've seen many people while they talk, they just keep looking here and there..🙄 and that's not a good sign .. It just shows that they are least interested in talking. Maybe something else is going on in their head🙄.. Like they are not fully involved in the conversation..🤔 If you just show your full involvement while talking,😁 and not just show, if you feel it and communicate to other person with the same enthusiasm.. ☺️ Boom! The other people will automatically feel good to talk to you😁

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Good points!

@denisemarie5661 Жыл бұрын

Grandpa would say: "Don't look at me in that tone of voice." TY for video, very useful.😊

@thefaithfilledblonde 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve been told many times “it’s not what you say but how you say it” so I tend to want to sugar coat things to sound “nicer” bc my tone can be harsh I’m told, which is not good either. If I raise my voice to be louder than I sound rude. I look at my husband when I talk to him and my voice is monotonous to the point of putting him to sleep.🤣 I do have some great qualities though🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I'm sure you have many other strengths! Ha. I use that line regularly when somebody gives me corrective feedback, "I have other strengths."

@matomevincentmasipa5773 2 жыл бұрын

I loved watching your video. However, I would have loved to have a role play sort of. The reason for this is that, as people we learn differently. I was talking to a friend of mine about tone of their voice. As you know, people can be so defensive when discussing sensitive issue such as this one. So I'm thinking role play with character might clarify it better, Thanx for a good video thou

@MT-kc9cf 2 ай бұрын

I tell my friend this, “change the tone of your voice” I think she feels like I’m accusing of her for being wrong for some reason and her voice becomes higher and angry, then comes the talking over me and louder before I can explain what this guy is saying. Then she storms off and slams a door. She refuses to hear about the tones of our voices.

@funkea3386 3 жыл бұрын

Great video! I just subscribed..... 😊 The tone of voice and general non verbal cues are so important! They can make or break you. I find that I speak faster when I’m stressed and when I speak fast, I sound annoyed or irritable. I’m really trying to work on this and maintain a nice feminine balanced pace and tone of voice at all times (well as much as I can anyway! :) but it’s not easy when under stress or when someone annoys me. I’m also naturally a very expressive person with my eyes, face, hands, body language etc..... I’d like to be regularly composed even when annoyed. What’s the best way to address this in my favour? 😊

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

I have a related video on how to change tone of voice that might help.

@godsgift2man210 5 жыл бұрын

My boss said " the content is good but the tone could be more humble." I think in the business/professional environment i tended to get very factual and to the point. This happens even more when I am nerves or mad. Any advice, as i am an emerging leader.

@alexanderlyon 5 жыл бұрын

Hey there. Of course, I haven't heard your tone but based upon your boss's feedback, it sounds to me like he/she is probably right and is trying to help you and your career. And, it is very insightful of you to realize that your tone is driven by your negative feelings. That's the starting place for a change. My advice would be to get to the bottom of whatever mindset is making you get anxious or mad, as you put it. Get to the root of it. What is it that is bothering you and then explore why that is. Is it insecurity? Is it an uncharitable view of other people? Is it an issue with your underlying leadership philosophy? New levels of leadership responsibility can pressure us and we don't always like what we see coming out of us. I once worked, for instance, with a guy who would say things like "People are idiots." It was no surprise then that his tone was frustrated and exhausted. So, figure out your existing mindset and then put some time into developing a revised viewpoint about yourself, your role, and your leadership philosophy. It might feel a bit like you're in a therapy exercise if you're doing it right. If you do that and really invest the time looking at your mindset, I'm 90% sure you're tone will become more humble as a consequence. Let us know how it goes.

@GodsChildrenOnEarth 4 жыл бұрын

So I’m a nice and kind person because I ALWAYS conscious striving for that. I also always have good intentions. I don’t understand mean, manipulative and narcissist because I am not one. Yet I’m often accused of having an attitude or trying to put people down and being rude because the other person or persons wrongfully reads my tone of voice as such. Even my mom has said this since I was young. I’m desperate and I don’t know what to do! I’m at the point that I literally HATE my voice. I HATE my voice because my tone of voice sounds mean and awful to people. Ugh! I’ve even had clients ask me if I’m mad or upset. And to make matters worse, I have a Resting Bitch face (inherited from my dad’s side-my great grandfather’s resting face looked mean, and my aunt’s resting face looks mean) with a downwards turned mouth! I need help. I’m even considering surgery to at least make my face look friendly and happy to match who I really am.

@dannyc1040 2 жыл бұрын

Big issue. To military in tone. Rub people the wrong way. Was told today that I need to go from 6 to a 2 in tone. I welcome your input.

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

I have another video that might help, Danny. It's How to change Your Tone of Voice." It picks up where this one left off.

@margaretchekingo6401 11 ай бұрын

😂Very helpful. Thanks. Thanks

@monseet-v9597 4 жыл бұрын

Sir i have been impressed as i loved your videos based on communication skills. I have one situation based on this, please can u help me with a strategy, so that i never make this mistake knowingly or unknowlingy. “If in some point we are discussing something, somewhat a point comes, which i believed is 100% approved and pure truth. Then other person disagree, why should i pretend then also that he/she is right anyway? Ok if i pretend in one way, just like that person is right, despite he’s wrong. what should i do? when do i make him/her realize the truth of the point?"

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

I don't advocate pretending the person is right. You can just disagree respectfully. I have a video on that. It's not about proving the other person wrong. It's about disagreeing with respect. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mMlplNV91rGloHk.html

@FaridaCassim 4 жыл бұрын

Omg. Finally i know I’m not alone. Thank you so much! Now I need help. I identified one of the two. I get it from my mother. I keep telling her as well. “Calm down” and she is like “ I am calm”; so now I realize I have the same. My husband and brother keep telling me “you piss people off with the way you speak. Why are you so agitated”. It’s so hurtful. 2am and I’m googling what is wrong with me. Please help 😪

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

Hi, Farida. I have a related video on how to change your tone of voice. Feel free to take a look.

@FaridaCassim 4 жыл бұрын

Communication Coach Alex Lyon thank you for taking the time to reply. I have started to be more mindful when I speak. I can feel my tone is definitely bad when I’m tired so sleepy. So now I just stop and walk away instead of continue with the discussion. I’ll do this till I’m fully able to control my emotions when I speak. Also anxiety I feel makes it worse. Coz the thoughts in my head run so fast I try say everything at the same time. So it sounds like I’m angry but it’s just the speed of thought in my head.

@MLQV20 4 жыл бұрын

When I am sad or depressed, my tone of voice makes it obvious even though I was talking about a topic that has nothing to do with me or what I'm feeling.

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

I know what you mean. The tone comes through like that.

@MLQV20 4 жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon People complain that I have a crying voice. Those are the times that I am going through something tough for me.

@ahsanaftab6061 4 жыл бұрын

Dale Carnegie said: "the tone must be pitched forward". what does it mean?

@sunvaj6754 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent information, thanks Dr. Lyon. Is there any more information about tone of voice?

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

I have another vide on How to Change Your Tone of Voice. That might be helpful.

@manhalfamazing00 2 жыл бұрын

I've been told that my tone and nonverbals are very simiar to the man you mentioned in your example. And im completely oblivious to it... I need to start working on this now since I'm at the point im my career to where I manage people and expectations more than anything else and that could mean a short career... Any and all comments and recommendations welcome. Thanks.

@alexanderlyon 2 жыл бұрын

Hi R B. I do have a related video that I made after this one. It’s called How to change your tone of voice. That goes more into the different efforts you can make to change your tone. If you have not already watch that one, that is what I recommend is your next step.

@christinahaggard3432 4 жыл бұрын

I am told I have a tone but no one can ever give me an example... so I’m just suppose to let people do whatever they want and not say anything? I am so tired of trying and being made to feel like a bad guy

@alexanderlyon 4 жыл бұрын

I have gotten questions like this a lot. So, I made a video about how to change your tone. Maybe it will help: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pq5ia5qr3by8dWQ.html

@avoiceinthewilderness9864 3 жыл бұрын

Me Too.

@ellec9238 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve been told by many people, my daughter included, saying I come off as rude. Aka bitchy. Or direct. Which I’ve made videos and see what everyone is talking about. But I know that’s not how I feel. I can recall one specific example when I was telling my 5 kids how to play Pictionary. And the youngest was 5 and oldest 15. I was very firm with my words and tone to assure they would listen. But then I see now it set the mood for the game for a more unpleasant time. I don’t know how to fix it and want to

@alexanderlyon 3 жыл бұрын

Hi, Elle. I have a related video on how to change tone a voice that has been pretty helpful. You could take a look at that.