My dad got so angry at me when I dated a couple of guys with kids. He sat me down and he said stop doing that. He said I want you to come number one in a man's life. And you can't do that if he's got a kid. And if he does put you number one that means he's a bad father. And ain't nobody got time for either of that

Single fathers target child-free women. Single father don't even want to date someone like themselves, which is all we need to know about them.

I have only one reason for not dating men with kids: THE KIDS.

Yeah let single parents date each other, and not bother childfree people

I think it's also unfair to us, childfree individuals, to take care of someone else's kids. For what?

Single parents should date each other. Someone should make a dating app. Specifically for single parents. Also, there should be an app for child free people too.

Nope never date fathers, unless the children are completely grown & outta the house, even then they can cause problems.

There are a ton of guys out there with 3-4 kids that want you to always be available for them, but yet remind you all the time that their kids are their priority. Ladies, please don’t settle for being last on someone’s priority list!

I'm a dude and I agree with you Elle 100%. I'm 26 and childfree. Got a vasectomy when I was 24. You're going to get snatched up by a childfree guy I can already tell. Dating single parents come with alot of unnecessary drama.

I would like to add other reasons why I refuse to date men with children: 1) Depends on the law but when you marry a man who owes child support, you will be financially liable. I refuse to pay for someone else's children. 2) Some men maintain a "friends with benefits" relationship with their exes despite "breaking up." They use the kid as an excuse. Before you know it the ex is pregnant again and he wants to make it work for the children's sake. 2) Some men date solely to get free childcare. Once you get together he'll dump his children on you.

Men who are childfree probably have values and attitudes that are better suited for women who don’t want children. They also come with less baggage.

Dating a person with children as a CF person hardly ever works out well. That man not looking for love, he looking for help. Run! Sure, there’s exceptions but not factoring in what happens majority of the time is foolish. Playing that game will always leave you with a unsatisfactory prize. Preserve your peace and always say nope!

I gave a man with kids a chance once, and he said to me that I would always come second to them. And fair enough or whatever, but that's honestly not what I want for my life 🤷‍♀️

Dating someone with kids is like buying a house you can’t afford

I don't like kids. They get on my nerves. 🤣🤣🤣

I married a man who didn't have children because I wanted us to raise them together as first time parents. Everything we have goes directly to our own kids 😊

Love this! Instantly subscribed! 39, single, hella childfree... I 100% agree with not dating men with kids. I won't be doing that again.

I can’t deal with coming second to anyone and I’m just gonna be honest and say that . I don’t like getting put off because he has to take care of the kids 🙄. I respect that he takes care of his kids but I don’t have time to be waiting around. It’s just unfair to me to have to put off something I’m really excited about because of kids that aren’t even mine .

I'll be damned if i help pay a mans child support, raise another womans kids or come 2nd to a child thats not mine. I'm in my 20s it dont make any kind of sense to skate uphill against rain and wind.

I am 41 and I dated 2 women who had children. The 1st one was TERRIBLE. Her daughter was very respectful but the son was a headache. I had resentment in my heart towards him due to his disrespect. The last girl had 4 kids by him and it was drama with her and him. If you have kids ONLY date those with kids.

Been there, done that. I won’t date single fathers again for all the reasons you listed above.

My two kids are grown and I made the mistake of dating a man with several underaged kids. The main problems were 1) he had them by different women so that was variations of baby mama drama 2) when he picked all of them up he would bring them all to my house and for the most part they were disrespectful and they were used to him moving around from woman to woman. He taught them to be as manipulative is he is 3) his financial resources were split between all these kids 4) still had ties to two of the exes and 5) they were not disciplined and he would tell me "that's just how kids are" and toward the end I told them I've never seen kids like this. I know kids do things they're not supposed to do but that's where adults come into play. That's the whole point of parenting. That was the most chaotic 6-7 months of my entire life. Even my dog didn't know what to think. 🤣 Peace was restored in my life after that.

I can add one more valid reason: If the guy is toxic, he will use the kids to try and keep you around, putting up with his s*. Then of course if you genuinely bonded with the kids, it hurts like hell when you have to walk away. I am speaking from personal experience. At age 24, I dated a guy with 4 kids. They weren't the problem, he was! So now I am right with you, would maybe only consider it if the kids were grown up or close to it.

Men with kids always want to date the ladies without them. When really they should be trying to date the women who already have kids. It’s a better fit.

FAAAAAAAACTS I like my peace and freedom too much being childfree and single

If his family members are still super cool with the mother they act so weird towards you no matter how you are

In support of this! A mother once said her daughter's father is now dating an attorney and she is encouraging him to propose because right after they marry she will return to the court house seeking more child support. That mindset sits in a lot of parents. Dating a parent is a choice. Stay away from the fray.

After being with two men who have children, I agree that I am much happier now. I love all of their children, but it’s the baby mamas that got in the way

It seems in this age we are growing personally. We do not want to be "mothered" and I don't want to "mother" anyone either. I am only adulting...not parenting or feeling needy. No kids!!

Currently, there’s a guy who has interests in me…he has THREE kids!!! THREE!!🙄 Well, I guess he’s gonna get his feelings hurt. I just can’t deal with kids. PERIOD! I don’t have patience for kids and I have anger issues. So no. #childfree4life

I can't date a man with kids. I'm quick to let them know😅

People have to much baggage nowadays

I would never have a serious relationship with a man with kids Just ok for a casual informal relationship. Now I am older, I would never date a man with kids or grandkids at all

This and also #1 if you date a man with children you may someday marry him and then wind up living with kids at least part of the week. The only thing worse than having kids and having to live with them is having to live with someone else's kids!

I agree. I am currently dating a guy with 2 kids + combative ex. He lives 2 hours away. He also has another older child who is 12 in Alberta who he rarely sees + mentions but still cares deeply for. She lives with the mom + stepdad. So much damn drama with the ex here tho in Ontario. She has dictated that he can only have them on weekends. I work during the week myself in customer service + be the time the work week is done Im drained AF. I only have weekends off myself. So he has the kids on the weekend 4 + 6 year old + when they are around they demand all his attention. He tells me to come out on the weekends so we can all be together + so we can spend time together. I honestly have no desire to deal with all of that on the weekend; the shouting, bickering etc so I arely see him. The last time I saw them was a month again when he came to pick me up from train station near where he lives, an hour away + the plans of them being dropped off beforehand to the mom were changed so he came + picked me up with them in the van. I barely could get a word in with him as the children kept shouting abruptly in the van, shrieking, bickering + kicking the back of my chair. I literally had the thought cross my mind for him to just drop me off at the side of the road so I could get some peace. At one point I turned my head to the side + had tears fall down my cheek as I felt so overwhelmed by the noise, like nails on a chalkboard. And I'm supposed to spend my days off with them for 2 days on the weekend so I can have 3 - 4 hours of alone time at the end of the day. I have so many disappointing stories I could share + I am at a point where I feel numb + just don't care. It's like where is there space for me, for us. I will never date a guy with children again. This was my first time + it has been nothing but stress + heartache. NEVER DATE A MAN/WOMAN WITH KIDS UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL NEGLECTED + PUT ON THE BACKBURNER unless they have good boundaries with their ex + their kids.

A lot of these men don't even have the time to date if they're working and taking care of the child (and the baby mother) on some level! Then you have to consider whether he's even marriage minded if he never married his baby mother...it's A lot!

childless people should NEVER EVER date a single parent and this applies to both men and women

Love this video. Your top 5 reasons can be applied to men as well. Let's Destigmatize Men not wanting to date Single moms. People with kids should date each other.

Yesss to all of this!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

this is the best video ive seen on this topic you mentioned all the reasons i have for not wanting to date people with kids.

watching this...coz im 30, and im childfree, never wanted them, i met a guy. Literally perfect. But bastard hid the fact he has 2 kids and he spends all his free time with them. I left, because that shit aint for me, they say when u truly love smn u accept them fully, but sorry doesnt mean i accept fully other individuals that u have as your family.

Dated a single dad with a 10yr old. It was a horrible experience. Whatever u do for the kid, the kid doesn't appreciate it, sometimes even rejects u. U feel like u constanly have to "please the kid", to survive in the family. The love from the dad is conditional: only if u look after him n his kids, u will be loved back. Otherwise, he ll ge rid of u quickly. I lived a very low self-esteem life in the past 2 yrs. Will never make the same mistake

Honey I’ve learned my lesson TWICE. I know they say three times the charm, but NO. The last one I dated EXHAUSTED ME. He was always broke and angry. No thank you 😅 And it’s also UNFAIR to us who don’t have kids. I will never forget the little girl I fell in love with and now I can’t see her cause I don’t talk to her dad anymore 😢😢😢😢

I’m a soon to be 23 yr old child free guy that just got out of a relationship with a woman that has a child and I’m so happy I did..the relationship was good seemingly in every way you could imagine until after we had relationship problems and disagreements, she went behind my back after we said not to and I’m thinking we talked about our tough times and grew from it ..only to find out she was badmouthing me to like 2 of her friends and even said she would cheat..and I was actually doing right by her in the relationship but after that I felt betrayed and I couldn’t even look at her the same nor trust her anymore…now I’m single working on myself and just want a child free woman I can really be in a happy faithful, loyal and loving relationship with & build my own family with as well

Ladies just think , there's is a reason that he is divorced by his ex and has children with her...his ex just warned you just by letting him go ....no woman will let a good man go ..just think deeply and you will know the answer is already there

Even if there is no ex (in my case, his previous wife died), life is still difficult as hell with a kid involved. His family think the whole world owe the kid, because there is no mom, so, the expectation from u is high. U role is a free nanny who brings in income. An absolutely unfair deal. Child free women, stay away from single dads.

You are so pretty. Naturally

you're 100% right on all points...wish I had as a younger girl, previously childfree had seen things like this, or done some research into how bad it can get, cuz lord can it! I woulda ran so far years back...but here I am with my own five years later....and two other people's poorly behaved son lol...

Your skin is beautiful ❤️

I think I am going to go this direction. For a long time I have been saying it's just dating and it's probably hard to find guys these days who DON'T have kids while still strongly preferring guys who just don't have kids. But I do think that as you get older it's harder. A lot of these guys just haven't been as selective over the years so that narrows the options. That said, I am going to just start saying no to guys with kids because I don't want to deal with their ex issues. They always tell me at first there are no ex issues and as I get into the relationship, I find out that those issues are either developing or he was lying about it so I am just going to start noping out at the start.

This is one dating topic where both man and females totally agree. It’s crazy how both parties experience almost the exact same things when dating a single mother/father. Dating a single parent is a lose lose situation just for 1 fact. 1 her/his kid will always be number 1 priority and believe me it will get old quick or 2 if she/he does put you above the kid it means they’re a bad parent. Like I said it’s a lose lose situation. Just don’t do it! The only time when you can date a single parent is when the ex died and the kid is still a baby, but even in this case I don’t suggest it. Just never ever do it! Believe me it’s not worth it! No matter how great their personality is, how great the connection is because there are so many complications that it’s like trying to compete in a running sport while having 1 leg.

My question is, why don't single parents with kids date other single parents with kids?

I agree 100%. That can be frustrating. I you really don’t want children of your own just waiting a few more years and date a man with independent (emphasis on independent) adult children. A man that’s absolutely child free is the best choice though.

Thank you for saying this! It is a burdensome thing to date a man with kids. This economy, coupled with their exes feelings are disruptive to the growth of the relationship. Being a stepparent is a drag because you just feel like a nanny that is spending money in your household, to keep it thriving, then during their visitation week, the kid always comes back with an attitude. Any progress made on manners, on being respectful resets behind their bitter baby mama not enforcing that the child be respectful. Fathers also get caught up in trying to be the "fun parent" so they rarely chastise or correct the behavior of the child. Perhaps that is guilt, for not staying their mother. Who knows. I just spent 11 months dating a man with a 7 yr old and a 1.5 year old. I love that women who are child free are speaking more. I am 38! I have lost count of how many times people try to project that I am running out of time to explore that. I feel like my peace is nothing to rush getting rid of. I deserve to be number 1 in a mans life. A Godly man knows that, even if he had a child previously he should know how to balance. But they do not. I promise I will never do this again! Even if I have to date younger or outside of my race, I will NEVER date a man with kids again. Please focus on getting your family back and leave child free women alone!

If you're childfree and determined to stay that way, leave the single parents alone.

My son is 37 no children and wants to start his own Family,i totally understand.

Blessing to you Queen, I tell my adult children same... Child free is the way to go especially nowadays 💯🇯🇲

I agree wit everything u said, well done also I’m child free

I love your content. Smart woman!

Omg!! 😅 look at what I found binge watching 🤭 I was so wrong! I know Cappies age in reverse but wow you got me !! -I dated a guy with full custody of a preteen daughter once🙃 great man, nice girl but never again!

I totally agree. Im 61yrs old and childfree

It's not fair for a woman with grown kids like me to take care of someone else's small kids! I am 40 years old and my son is 21 years old. That's like asking me to start parenthood all over again with a kid that is not mine. #NoWay #AccessDenied

I agree. I have no kids and I’m married to a childless woman. I’ve gotten a vasectomy and my wife has gotten a hysterectomy. It’s better that way. Trust me.

I really needed this today. Thank you for this video ❤

Love your channel❤️ Big thank you for saying what so many CF channels don't acknowledge and what's been a major reason I have never dated guys with kids....the EX. Bad enough I'd be dealing with someone else's baggage (kids) but also the ex always buzzing around, calling...who needs it!!? No way in he!! I'd ever take on someone's kids as a CF woman, but Ill be dam@ed if Im gonna put up with your ex. I don't love ANYONE that much. Deck must be 100% cleared for us only...no kids or ex. Ive recently had a guy who's still yakkin/texting with the long-ago ex (baby mama)...and the 'kid' (an accident) is 40. Still gave me the 'shes the mother if my kid' excuse. What a joke. Im rid if him now.

I’m 36 too and I dated a single dad once. Never again! Thankfully, I’m getting sterilized soon so no worries for me! 🎉

I am not childfree (have 1 child), but I absolutely agree with you. Don't do it!

Yeah, some guy tried to manipulate me to be his kids step mom and I wasnt having it. If someone is okay with dating someone with kids I wont bash it but none should ever feel manipulated into it. Too many red flags, and I dont have kids, so of course I would rather have a partner who dosent have kids already. I straight up told the guy I wasnt interested in him and he should find someone who already had kids, and he wouldnt even respect that and he was manipulative in other ways. Acting suicidal ect and needing a friend and then trying to get my attention romantically again trying to force things after I communicated he had no chance. He was a serious nutcase. I feel bad for his daughter, but I am happy I didnt get fooled into being with him. I sure wasted time though being there for a suicidal guy who needed a therapist instead, but I felt bad for him. Never again will I fall for that though he was jealous of me trying to date guys I was actually interested in and trying to sabatoge it while being my "friend" who needed help because he was a single dad who was suicidal. He totally took advantage of my kind and empathic nature he was just a total trainwreck. He was just a boundary breaker and it was all about him and what he wanted and not about me at all and about what I wanted.... Phew I dodged a bullet. He was trying to grow on me like a toxic mold and there was a point when I almost considered it because he wouldnt leave me alone anyway. I had to block him everywhere and tell him he needed to leave me alone since he was nothing but a manipulator.

Ve been there, I agree fully with all of your points!!

Smart woman! 😊👍

Stay that way and enjoy your life and take your time and don't be in a hurry

I appreciate that this channel owner does not have the typical made-up look that is very popular these days. Good presentation of the topic as well.

After being the child in this equation, i would never date a guy with kids. My dad dumped us on these 'aunties' who were nice when he was around and nasty when he wasn't. Aside from them being horrid, they werent paid because he was sleeping with them, making them unpaid labour . Then his second wife made sure my brother and i knew , 'she didnt have to do s***for us because she was not our mother( nice when dad was there horrid when he wasnt). In the end she turned us into servants, treated so badly we in turn left to find our own mum. My dad didnt care to look for us like we were disposable!!

Smart lady!!! Good luck to you!!! 🙏❤️

I also found that some divorced men with kids have lots of mental baggages after an ugly breakup. They did not heal from their previous wound, and they expect the next one can help them heal, but they bleed onto the next person instead. They expect the new partner to love them and their kids unconditionally, 10x better than the previous relationships, to compensate their loss, suffering from the past. But the love and attention they give you back is conditional: only if u meet their needs, u will be regarded as a supportive partner, and you will be accepted and loved back. In a lot of cases, this is not really a relationship, it is a situationship. The expectation from the kid-free partner can be unrealistic. Some men have a comparative measure, and compare you with the good version of the ex when she was at the good phase of the marriage. If this can not be replicated in the new relationship, the man quickly got disappointed and move onto next again.

I'm childfree by choice good😊those kids better be grown

No one Dictates my life my home Nobody pointblank period‼️

Agreed. I don't want any children around me at all.

Great job baby well said and done 🎉

I’ve thought about ALLLL of these things! All of these are valid reasons.

That possessive, crazy-ex behavior is probably why a lot of parents either fight for sole custody or nope-out on the kids except for financial support. There is a reason the two broke up and they still can't get a day of peace or equal parenting decisions.

I feel the same way you right

Pookie Ray-Ray will never be denied

Men with kids( some of them) don’t want kids! So don’t date women without children and hope they don’t want kids! It’s cruel and selfish! I know I was with one!

Same. I’m also child free and 31

Ok.....I'm a bit confused 🤔......I can understand 2 people who don't have kids either choosing to create their own family/choosing not to have children. The part that puzzles me are people that have kids, but don't want to deal with people that have kids 🤷🏾‍♂️

Support. Good decision.

My question is if you are adamant about being child free, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU DATE ANYONE WITH CHILDREN? The issues are 1.disrespect 2.financial shenanigans 3.always being second best 4.tons of unnecessary drama 5.being free child care 6.looking crazy and like a whole circus in these streets

I was crazy about this man. And he dumped me because he said I was too intense. So what does he do? Goes and fucks this woman who I knew was after him and gets her pregnant. He didn’t marry her but he stepped up and supported his kid and made sure they were taken care of. I don’t see him for years only to run into him and his teenaged son! He’d gotten married and had a couple more kids. In any case, he asked me to go to lunch and it was positively nerve wracking. His son called him at least ten times while we were in the restaurant. A few years down the line, he and his wife were divorcing. He asked me if we could go away for a romantic weekend to Napa. The morning before we were supposed to go, he had to cancel because one of his kids was sick. After the third time that happened, I said forget it. He showed up three or four more times over the years and each time he’d disappear for months because of some problem with his damn kids. As recently as last year he was still calling me, still professing his love. He mentioned he was having health problems. I told him to get himself to the doctor and call me when they’d figured out what was wrong. I never heard from him again because he was dead from lung cancer a few months later. I found out on his Facebook page. The point being, regardless of the, I think, genuine love we had for each other, we never managed to really connect because of his kids. He was a very good father and I realized that I would always come after his children and later, his grandchildren. Which was never going to be good enough for me.

I think these are good reasons why you should not date a man with kids I think it's good and important to be honest with yourself and knowing what you want and don't want, if you can't do that then it will never work out with anyone. If a man puts his wife first before his kids he hates his kids especially if the wife don't like non of his kids whether or not they are still kids or adult children it's not gonna last very long.

Preach

You have some really good reasons to not date men with kids. I wouldn’t mind it because I love kids, but I don’t want to deal with baby mama drama. I don’t care if a man don’t have money to do things there are plenty of stuff people can do for free.

I COMPLETELY AGREE AND I AM A MAN AND I WILL AGREE💯 CHILDFREE PARENTS SHOULD DATE CHILDFREE PARENTS 💯

Also when the child doesn’t like you, he will pretend like he doesn’t notice it and will not choose them over you.

I agree 💯

I just don't want to deal with someone's ex all the time. I don't care how amicable their breakup was and if there's nothing between them anymore, I don't want to "co-parent" with my man's ex. Then there's the fact that I'll be expected to help out with a kid that isn't mine yet have no say in the parenting, no thank you. IF I do have kids, I don't want to raise them in a blended family dynamic with half siblings that are gone 50% of the time. There's also the fact that you'll at best be # 2 and step mothers are one of the unhappiest demographics. Honestly, I just think single fathers should leave women alone and try to fix the relationship with their baby mama and/or focus on their kids.

I married a man with 3 children, 7,9, and 10. It was a living hell. 13 years of hell. Don’t do it. It was NOT worth it.

You are so pretty. ❤

The only man with kids I will date is if he is rich rich.

Too much drama with dating men whom are fathers. I spoke about that during your interview of me. Those children NEVER grow up. Many will always be a problem.