Galileo 1564-1642. Mathematical genius. Groundbreaking physicist. The Godfather of Modern Astronomy. Never noticed The Moon.

In December of 1970, the Russians landed the Venera-7 probe on the surface of Venus. It would be another twenty years before they figured out what the heck they'd landed on.

Venus was discovered in 1990....I guess thats why my solar system project in kindergarten failed because I had an extra planet.

A little history lesson, according to Top Trumps: In Aug. 1970, the Soviet Union launched the Venera 7 probe in a random direction. To everyone's surprise, 4 months later it came in contact with an unknown astronomical object which is plainly visible from earth with the naked eye on a clear day. Fortunately, the probe was perfectly equipped for atmospheric entry of the unknown object, and was able to successfully land on its surface and send back atmospheric and temperature readings. For the next 20 years, this and the many other encounters with unusual bodies just inwards of Earth were a complete mystery to astronomers. However, in 1990, the planet Venus was discovered, and its presence explained the strange landings and orbits of probes such as the Venera 7.

In another recalled TT deck, we also discover that humans discovered the existence of their genitals in 1924

MY FUCKING SIDES!! "...If you turn them over, you can form a big picture of Mars. Which is gonna be discovered next Thursday, so keep your eye out for that". A more accurate statement than those cards make..!

So Paul McCartney who released his Song "Venus and Mars" in 1975 predicted its discovery 15 years earlier!

About the screwy dates: if you freeze around 3:32, you can see the card that explains the stats says, "Certain objects in space have been familiar to us for years, others have only recently been discovered. For those objects where no clear date of discovery is available the date shown refers to the most significant studies or developments about that object mankind has made. For example, Donati's comet was the first to be photographed, in 1858." So the Venus date, for example, probably refers to Project Magellan, which first mapped the surface of the planet in 1990-1991. Explains the dates. Doesn't excuse them. "Year of Discovery," is just bad wording, and deciding what are, "the most significant studies or developments about that object mankind has made," is going to be arbitrary at best.

So hilarious! I'm glad that I discovered this channel in the year 3,032 BC

I love how they aren't just off by a few years, they're always off by thousands of years.

The Halley's Comet card is definitely bull-shit. Let's see why: 1) It was discovered in the mid-Victorian era by a man named Halley - hence the name. 2) It, as a comet, has a highly irregular orbit - meaning it has no fixed distance from the sun. 3) If you have calculated its diameter then you should, also, know its temperature. 4) MASS CANNOT, BY ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BE NEGATIVE! And, if the 'minus' is a misprint - the whole deck's a God damn misprint, if you ask me - Halley's Comet is definitely smaller than Earth. That is all. Good day!

We need a live stream of Ashens and Larry playing this game.

This is what college professors think wikipedia is like.

I think the guys who created those cards pulled random values out of their asses while taking turns on an enormous bong and laughing hysterically.

i wonder what there "cars" deck would be. "ford gt 40: year of creation 2024, hp -874,"

As a physics and astronomy graduate I laughed my lungs off! THANKS ASHENS SUBSCRIBED SINCE 1204 B.C. !

I can see how, as a game this Space Phenomena deck wouldn't really work out. Also, regarding the statistics: Uranus WAS discovered in 1781, by William Herschel. If you look at older models of the Solar System, the planets only went up to Saturn. Herschel figured out patterns in the known planets' movements, looked up at a spot in the sky where he continued the pattern, and found Uranus. (Technically, Uranus WAS spotted by observers before him, but it was always thought to be a star and went unnamed.) Every planet from Saturn and inwards have been known since ancient times though, and were known to be moving about the sky in every civilization that cared to look up enough to notice. Venus is the stragest one regarding years of discovery, considering Earthlings have sent stuff to Venus before 1990. I have no idea where they got 1770 from for the Aurora borealis. Galileo coined the term in 1619, but auroras have been observed by humans since before recorded history. Ganymede's a weird one here too. Most of the others were ridiculously late (or should be N/A, like with the Sun and the Moon), but Ganymede was Galileo's doing again, in 1610. That's why Ganymede, Io, Callisto, and Europa are collectively known as the GALILEAN moons. Because Galileo discovered them. For Halley's Comet, the temperature is most likely listed as "N/A" because it goes up and down a lot. When it's furthest away from the Sun, its temperature is near absolute zero, but when it's closest, it becomes incredibly hot. I can only guess that the -6,000,000,000,000 Earth masses came about due to someone screwing up on a calculator. I would've liked to see some of the other ones. I was hoping they'd dig up something more obscure, like Herbig-Haro objects or centaurs, but it looks like they're sticking mostly with familiar things from within our Solar System.

according to Wikipedia, the moon wasn't discovered in 1651, but a law was passed in Massachusetts preventing the poorer class from wearing excessive amounts of clothing.

I actually have the 2005 "non shitty" version: most of the years of discovery have been changed to "prehistory" and they have managed to find some statistics to replace the "N/A's"

So the Moon isn't a giant space goblin? My life has no meaning anymore.

I still need to dig out my collection of 1970s top trumps Stu, some of them are hilarious!!!

Ashens did you plan the order? It just got worse and worse as it went on too conveniently. And I was lolling my ass off.

"oh hey lads! look at ganymede!" "oh i can't, there's that big bright thing in the way, i wonder what that is?" XD lol

Might be my favourite Ashens video so far,though I usually enjoy most him suffering through really dreadful foodstuffs. I just love the rising sense of indignation as the stats get more and more off. A man after my own heart.

Today, on the 4th of March in the year 2015, I have discovered... *FIRE!*

Why is the Moon classified as a moon but Jupiter's biggest _moon_, Ganymede, is a "satellite"?

Mercury and Venus are two of the planets that are visible to the naked eye, Top Trumps get your shit together

Regarding "Years of Discovery" on the cards shown in the video: Earth: N/A is understandable. Uranus: 1781 is the correct year of discovery. Aurora Borealis: 1770 is outright incorrect as it likely got its name in the 17th century from Pierre Gassendi as well as having been observed by the Chinese and Greeks long before that century in addition to oral traditions dating back to 700 AD from the Scandinavians and Eskimos. 1987A: Correct as it was the first supernova discovered that year. Hoba West: May as well be correct given that it was first recorded and published in 1920. Mercury: 1885 is not even close as observations were made by ancient astrologers for over a millennia. Glatton: Yep, 1991 is correct. Earth's Moon: Top Trumps, our moon has been observed LONG before 1651. In fact, it's been observed LONG before recorded history became a thing. Venus: Oh boy, Venus! 1990 was when the Magellan spacecraft had an orbital encounter with Venus, NOT THE YEAR OF DISCOVER AS OBSERVATIONS OF THE PLANET WERE MADE FAR BEFORE THE CRAFT WAS EVEN CONCEIVED!! Oy Vey! The Sun: BUZZ OFF, TOP TRUMPS!! THE SUN HAS BEEN OBSERVED LONG BEFORE 200 BC!! Ganymede: This one's a bit tricky. Despite it actually being 365 BC, it is a very probable date as it might have been discovered (with the naked eye) at that time frame. However, it is more commonly agreed that 1610 was the year of discovery for Ganymede as the year 365 BC might have held just a plain observation made (again with the naked eye) and it is possible that it might not have been Ganymede that was spotted in 365 BC. Halley's Comet: 1059 BC is not entirely believable given that it was observed long before that date as well as its official periodicity being recorded in 1705.

"Year of discovery, sixteen fift-oh, fuck off". I lost it by the end of the moon.

Venus was discovered by the babylonians in 1581 BC. Not 1990 lmao. I love how the youtube comments section is more knowledgeable than these cards.

I think Earth is N/A only because Top Trumps think we haven't discovered it yet. :/

the sun the fucking sun was discovered in 200BC my sides have have been retroactively erased from existence and I can hardly breathe from laughter Seriously, I almost died laughing.

Wonder if Neil DeGrasse Tyson would explode due to the anger he'd get if he saw these?

A nasa spacecraft did a flyby of venus in 1961, I mean come on.

I held out until the moon. That one got me. And then after Venus I can't stop laughing.

Earth's year of discovery is non applicable because it still wasn't discovered.

First the Moon discovery one was obviously messed up, but maybe you could buy that it wasn't officially recorded in some (relatively modern) astronomical society until then and these guys were using that hypothetical society's already questionable records for some (stupid) reason...But Venus wasn't discovered until after I was friggen born? Sure, it's less obvious than the moon, but only slightly less in astronomical terms (and Mercury only slightly less so than Venus, so that statistic I knew was very suspect too). At that point, if I was still playing the game I'd just toss all the cards up in the air and just walk away in disgust. I'd have probably done so with the Moon card already though. EDIT: At least I wouldn't have seen the Sun one. I might have had an aneurysm at that.

Mercury being discovered so late makes sense to me. Most people what look at the sun don't do much lookin'.

Stu, it's extremely simple: When Doc Brown got sent back to 1885, he pointed out Mercury, and thus, if was discovered.

This is one of the hardest I have ever laughed. Holy shit.

I just discovered the sun. How was I suppose to know that giant light in the sky was the sun?!

Uranus was seen before 1781, but 1781 was when it was first recognized as a planet, I believe.

This episode is a gem.

I haven't laughed this hard since Antonio Stella Bottom Tile!

I wonder if Pluto is in the deck. It was discovered in the 1930's but in 2006 it wasn't classified as a planet anymore.

Uranus' year of discovery is one of the few correct ones.

Since no one knows the "year of discovery" of Earth yet, I shall claim that I discovered it in 2015.

I literally laughed until I cried a little. I can't help but imagine some guy trying to design these cards and just hitting a random number generator or something to fill in the categories.

Man this channel is great! I'm glad it was created in 696BC

The Uranus one is the closest to being correct, as William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781. Technically it had been observed prior, but repeatedly mistaken for a star due to its slow apparent motion and relative faintness.

I finished the video, and clicked back to see if the Supernova card had a mass, and right where I clicked, Ashens said "bloody hell". Agreed!

I have the 2006 "natural wonders of the world" set, where 'the moon' and 'planet earth' are actual cards in it.

Does anyone think there should be a part 2 where he goes through the rest of the cards?

Alexander the Great, Pythagoras, Pharaoh Ramses the great, Qin Shi Huang, Gilgamesh, Confucius, The Buddha, and countless other great men and women all died without ever basking in the glorious rays of light provided by the sun. Such tragedy...

And Saturn? Oh we haven't discovered Saturn yet. And We'll Discover Jupiter by 2035 AD

This was one of those glorious Ashens vids that has me laughing so hard I wonder if the neighbors can hear. And I live in a house with quite a respectably-sized yard. Had to watch it twice in a row just for the sheer joy of it

"One of the earliest records of Mercury comes from the Sumerians around 3,000 BC." - It goes on to mention how compared to others Mercury is pretty dull so its a good chance if they knew what they were doing they probably saw others too such as Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.

I'd love to see a video on unofficial top trumps decks. I'm very much looking forward to an "Operation Yewtree" deck.

"Nobody noticed the Moon until 1651?" "Nobody noticed the sun until 200 Bc?" I can't stop laughing.

"how about distance from the green pen" LOLz, I spit out of Lik-m-Aid powder and almost inhaled it This is most hilarious to hear Stuart getting pissed at these pieces of cardboard. I had no idea there would be this much funny. My cup runneth over

Holy fucking shit.....Venus discovered in 1990!?? Haley's Comet has a -6000000 mass? Just...wow. That deck must have been created by a cabal of anti-knowledge cretins who want to regress into the stone-age through sheer bewilderment. They had to try to be that wrong, it's just not possible to be that far off by accident. I've never been gobsmacked by an episode before, but this one changed that big time. Unbelievable. I'd love for Stuart to interview the people who make Top Trumps and ask them what the fuck they were on in 2004.

This is the best thing Ashens has ever done.

As soon as you said the Space Phenomena pack was "infamous", I immediately dug through my Top Trumps drawer to see which edition I had. Turns out I was lucky enough to have gotten the re-released version, with comparable statistics that actually make sense.

"Any astrologers here that can make up some bullshit?" had me rolling! Oh the gullibility of the common person...

anyone else notice they misspelled "satellite" on Ganymede? lol

8 October, 1651, today i looked into the sky at night and noticed a large white speckled orb. I don't know why no one had done this before but never mind Nobel prize for me. -Adam Moon ps- I will name this body after my farther: Arthur

Omg that was hilarious! Thx ashens i love your videos!

I am an astronomer, and I can confirm that the Moon has been refered to as the Space Goblin until 1651, also known as "The year of Spider-Man".

*From the help card at the beginning, year of discovery* "Certain objects in space have been familiar to us for years, others have only recently been discovered. For those objects where no clear date of discovery is available, the date shown refers to the most significant studies or developments about that object mankind has made."

its a good thing the black knight satellite thing wasn't in this speed.....................n/a diameter................n/a year of discovery...n/a distance................n/a temperature..........n/a mass.....................n/a description: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WE DONT KNOW NASAS TO SCARED TO POKE IT WITH SOMETHING IT MIGHT BE ALIENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!! thats probably how it would look

TVTropes brought me here. The profound hilarity of the segment is why I subscribed.

The comet's negative mass was the final straw for me.

Aurora Borealis? At this time of year, on this youtube video, localized entirely within a trading card!?!

Those were maddeningly awful -- and yes, those dates of discovery were absurdly wrong. But if it makes up for any of it, a fun fact about Venus is that there is a dull glow hypothesized (and some have claimed to have seen) to be coming from the night side of Venus that astronomers have dubbed "Ashen light." So, you know, swings and roundabouts.

You made me lol so much with this vid. Thanks

DO NOT WATCH THIS WHILE EATING RAMEN. YOU WILL SPRAY SOUP (or the imitation of) EVERYWHERE. ***** , this is my favorite video you have ever made. My sides hurt so much right now. XD

might have allready been mentioned but; The fact you can make mars with the back of the cards makes the game even more useless, if you where crazy enough to play it often you'd soon learn which card was which by the back of the card. Failed on so many levels

Ganymede is one of Jupiter's moons that needs a telescope. Yep. I'd say we found that first.

I just can't stop laughing, you are one of the best when it comes to reviews of this kind :))

You know, I've had a thought upon re-watching this: Maybe someone at the Top Trumps office pointed out that it would be impossible to balance a "Space Phenomena" deck, and was assigned to "make it work." Knowing that was a "kiss of death" assignment, and that they were going to get fired anyway because they were faced with an impossible task, they just made shit up to give the middle finger to their employer.

"One of those stars what gone went... boom."

i looked up the weird discovery dates and they are the year the planet was first mapped properly and got most of it's features and places named

The bit with the discovery date of Venus and the Sun has made me actually cry laughing. Not just LOL but actually weep.

We used to have these around here too, no idea if they still make these, but they were called 'Super Trumps' around here. I still have a bunch of them myself

6:59 It's good to see Kanye's more talented cousin on the show.

Shocking Blue had a hit single with "Venus" in 1970. I'm starting to think that perhaps these cards aren't entirely accurate. Either that or Shocking Blue owned a telescope they didn't tell anyone about.

"Maybe they had foggy telescopes before then or something" XD I just pissed myself.

Holy shit i laughed so hard with this , Ashens you are the man! You can always make me laugh

I thought "distance from the green pen" would be the funniest thing in this video, I was very wrong.

I laugh every time because the nerdrage is so real, and it's so justified!

I'm in tears, this is absolutely hysterical :D

The Moon was discovered in 1651? Haha! That made me laugh for awhile. And Venus discovered in 1990? Have the makers of this game ever heard of "The Morning Star?" Or perhaps that old saying, "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus?" I suppose not, lol. I like how the years on the cards just got more ridiculous throughout the video. I found your channel through those bootleg video game consoles (PCP, Polystation) a few days ago, and have been having some good laughs since then. I quite enjoy your sarcastic humor, so you've earned yourself another subscriber! :)

fun fact Uranus was originally supposed to be called George

Actually Uranus really was first discovered in 1781. It had been observed before then but no one was able to actually study it because there weren't powerful enough telescopes. In fact Neptune wasn't discovered until 1846! All the other discovery dates are bullshit though.

GO THROUGH THE FULL DECK! Please, this is hilarious

This is hysterical. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing about ten minutes ago so I may be clinically dead.

Was Top Trumps made by Donald Trump? That would explain it.

Finish the deck on ExtraAshens!

I have watched this video many times and I love it, one of the best

I'm exhausted from laughing, the bit with the sun nearly killed me XD