Insightful Conversation with Patricia Evans, Author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship

Рет қаралды 7,145

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler - Help for Toxic Relationships

4 жыл бұрын

What a pleasure and honor to have this deep conversation with Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship. !
Patricia Evans stepped up, spoke up, and spoke out about verbal abuse. Her first book--with four following--is a tribute to her indomitable spirit and unwillingness to stay silent about this gateway behavior.
Before a partner hits you, you will have been verbally abused: demeaned, discounted, dismissed, blamed, manipulated, and deceived. Domestic violence starts with verbal abuse.
Toxic relationships are verbally abusive. In today's episode, we talk about the aspects of verbal abuse, and Patricia offers insights and strategies to recognize it, and find the strength to move away from it.
If you have ever been verbally abused, or think you might be right now, you need to listen now.
ABOUT PATRICIA EVANS:
An internationally recognized Interpersonal Communications Specialist, Patricia Evans draws upon research of more than thirty thousand cases of verbally abusive relationships. She speaks and conducts workshops throughout the country.
Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute, now, EICI, Inc., Patricia offers workshops and training programs. She has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness, starting with her landmark book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond(1992). Newsweek commended her for it, saying that the expanded edition in 1996 was “A groundbreaking new book.”
Patricia Evans has spoken on the devastating effect of this secret form of control on more than two hundred radio programs, and seventeen national television shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, Sonya Live-CNN and News Talk.
Find Patricia Evan's work at www.VerbalAbuse.com
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* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
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WANT A SAFE PLACE-- off social media--
TO TALK, ASK QUESTIONS, GET EXPERT ANSWERS & SUPPORT?
Join my Emerging Empowered Community, online:
ForRelationshipHelp.com/commu...
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#Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
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Пікірлер: 19

@judybartholomew-wp3zq Ай бұрын

THANK YOU, PATRICIA!!! God bless you for opening MY EYES!!! I use, with my family…Boundaries (a great book!!!) and Grey Rocking! I rebuke them and let them know how hurtful their words are…I even cried and my son felt HORRIBLE!!! I PRAY FOR THEM and I’m seeing results with that! My daughter told me she sees her meanness…it’s been a PAINFUL JOURNEY for me!!! You WILL SUFFER especially if they’re your children…it’s like being on a emotional ROLLER COASTER! One day they’re buying you gifts and saying they love you the next day they’re mean as HELL!!! As one woman in P. Evan’s book said, you never know who’s going to show up…Jekyll of Hyde! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Just BE READY if you must go around them WITH PRAYER! 🙏 Prayer has helped me the most and Patricia’s book. It totally opened my eyes as to who I married and why my kids were the way they were. ✝️🤦🏻‍♀️

@missmerbella 4 жыл бұрын

I have responded with: "with all due respect, how do you know how I feel?" It doesn't change the situation. He never stopped repeatedly telling me what I was thinking, feeling and what my motivations were. He NEEDED to view me a certain way and there was nothing I could say or do about it. Telling him he doesn't have the power to know what's in my mind accomplishes nothing. If anything, it just makes him angrier.

@ForRelationshipHelp 4 жыл бұрын

You don't say those things for him. You say them for you, to draw attention to what was said. I would recommend that you don't ask him a question. Just make a quiet statement: "No one knows how I feel/think unless they ask me." Asking him a question is more confronting. And, of course, #Hijackals are just going to get angry when you don't just do and be exactly as they want you to do and be. It

@missmerbella 4 жыл бұрын

@@ForRelationshipHelp thank you for responding. Though I don't believe that one should "quiet" themselves or feel like they should "tip toe" by not asking "confronting" questions to an abuser, I do appreciate the point made about it being more about me understanding what is going on than him. In all honesty, I think this person's particular inability to listen and understand me and propensity to define me was more to do with him having autism than anything else. Unfortunately, I've found it very difficult to find resources that help to shed light on the difficulties involving romantic partnerships with autistic individuals...

@ForRelationshipHelp 4 жыл бұрын

@@missmerbella Important to know the distinctions so you know how to respond. I like this article, and it may help you: www.goodtherapy.org/blog/narcissism-vs-aspergers-how-can-i-tell-the-difference-1114174

@terrapintravels3829 2 жыл бұрын

A therapist suggested I read The Verbally Abusive Relationship back in the 90s and I am so glad he did. Later I went on to read Patricia Evan's book Controlling People as well where she has a story called Teddy. I'm going to repurchase both these books soon.

@caknnew4814 4 жыл бұрын

Thank You

@jimhallissey8434 3 жыл бұрын

I'm 62 know but still remember when I was an eight year old child the teacher screaming And shaking me so much that I messed my self I then had to sit down in my own mess for the rest of the lesson whilst the rest of the kids were laughing

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Oh, that's horrible, sad, and sadistic! I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. ABUSE!

@kimlec3592 2 жыл бұрын

God. How awful. So so sorry, Jim !

@sgm6603 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I went to the group and asked to join although it does mention Emotional Abuse in the Optomise Life Title of the Group.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Hi. My group is called Optimize Life After Emotional Abuse. In order to join, you MUST answer three questions. Here's the link: facebook.com/groups/hijackals

@maryradix3321 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much. This is so helpful.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You're so welcome!

@judybartholomew-wp3zq Ай бұрын

Like Patricia Evans says in her book…you soon come to realize you have NO RELATIONSHIP with this person. God is ALL about relationship, harmony, TRUTH, kindness, thoughtfulness…these people USE and ABUSE…they’re psycho or evil…whatever you want to call their no relationship attitude…it’s NOT NORMAL!!! RUN!!!!

@shalom7457 4 жыл бұрын

Would love to know who/where are those skilled therapists who are equipped to produce successfully intensive therapy sessions?

@ForRelationshipHelp 4 жыл бұрын

That's why I do my work, and why I produce these videos. I have clients all over the world via video conferencing.

@ShannoninOregon Жыл бұрын

Start in the state you live in to search for therapists since they are available for clients of states of their license. Now with most every therapist using videoconferencing you can work with someone anywhere in your state. You can use search terms like narcissist or verbal abuse and that's a start. Also you can screen therapists by asking them in your first call how they understand verbal abuse, if they have experience in this area, have they helped verbally abused before. If a therapist is dodgy or doesn't have the experience or is too vague so doesn't know, just keep shopping. You can also get recommendations from online peer groups in your state.