Truth, Trauma, and Transformation with Dr. Frank Anderson

Truth, Trauma, and Transformation with Dr. Frank Anderson - Terri Cole

Рет қаралды 4,873

Күн бұрын

I am so excited to welcome Dr. Frank Anderson, renowned trauma expert, to the show to talk about his newest book, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation.
It's both a memoir and a beautiful exploration of healing trauma. I absolutely loved what Frank had to share about the different types of trauma, the healing process, forgiving the perpetrator, forgiving ourselves, and reclaiming our own narratives.
If you've experienced childhood trauma of any type, I think you'll get a lot out of this conversation. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
*Gentle TW: there is a mention of suicide at 20:20. If this is a tender topic for you, please skip forward 10 seconds.
General TW: there is in-depth discussion of trauma in this episode as it is Dr. Frank's area of expertise. Please consider that before watching as it may bring up feelings around your own traumatic experiences.*
Time Stamps
0:00 - Quote from Dr. Frank
0:20 - Introduction from Terri
3:22 - We're all journeyers
4:56 - Dr. Frank Anderson's backstory
8:30 - Different types of trauma
14:20 - Our wounds choose our partners
19:45 - Kids activate trauma
22:12 - Repairing in relationships
26:30 - Choosing yourself
28:01 - Forgiveness and healing
35:37 - Writing memoirs & healing
43:30 - Taking back parental power
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About Dr. Frank Anderson
Dr. Frank Anderson, world-renowned trauma expert, psychiatrist, and author, whose highly anticipated memoir, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation, is a rare inside look at how a leader in the field endured his own heartbreaking yet powerful personal experience with trauma to then transform his life and heal from his tumultuous past.
Website: frankandersonmd.com
IG: / frank_andersonmd
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
Connect With Me
Instagram: terricole.com/ig
Community: terricole.com/fbg
TC's VIPs: terricole.com/membership
Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
Resources
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Insight Timer: insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
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#terricoleshow #traumarecovery #cptsd #complextrauma

Пікірлер: 61

@lauracde4414 Ай бұрын

I love that Gabor Mate is also open about his story. Praise God for all the wounded healers.. so many of us health care professionals are trauma survivors

@dianaschramer5065 Ай бұрын

"I will not self-abandon to maintain the status quo because the status quo, for me, has sucked!" "You have to do the healing." Amen. Thank you both for this fabulous episode.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

🙌🙌🙌

@ElyseSimon 12 күн бұрын

Yes! Observe not absorb with the power of compassion and humor! ☯️

@mellmoi7571 Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for reiterating that forgiveness is a choice and not a requirement for healing.!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

❤️❤️

@warrenisaac5634 15 күн бұрын

Exactly!

@__get__grounded__ Ай бұрын

I feel so much love for Frank. I heard his great interview with Lewis Howell then found my way here. I don’t know if it’s that I resonate deeply with his journey or just how genuine he comes across. He’s clearly done deep work that he’s come through and shares from a humble vulnerable and empowered place and is putting positive energy into the world. Thanks for this one!

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

He was such a lovely guest ❤️ So glad you found this interview and enjoyed it!

@warrenisaac5634 15 күн бұрын

I first heart Dr. Frank Anderson through the Lewis Howes show too.

@ramonacrawford3247 2 ай бұрын

I failed my children at times too, and I’ve also apologized. By the grace of God and my children’s love, they forgave me and we’ve healed as a family. ❤ Single parent, no support from anyone and I was full of anxiety.. We heal

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

That sounds so difficult, Ramona ❤️ Thank you for sharing.

@Sunny08me Ай бұрын

What a powerful interview. Thank you both for being authentic and vulnerable. We have so much to learn.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

So glad you enjoyed it! ❤️

@Cocobutterhoney78 Ай бұрын

“Our wounds choose our intimate partners!” Frank G. Anderson-Woah 🤯 Blew my freaking mind and answered so many questions!

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Loved that quote ❤️

@user-rl8jr6ls4z Ай бұрын

I have fallen in love with the concept of IFS therapy from the millisecond I heard my first Frank G. Anderson interview. I have carried family trauma around with me for years, and I'm ready to do the work. Even if I can't find IFS therapy where I live, I plan on listening/reading everything I can get my hands on relating to IFS and Frank's journey.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best on that journey ❤️

@Cinnamon349 Ай бұрын

“ forgiveness is about the person doing the forgiving more than about the person being forgiven “ 💡 “ our wounds chose our intimate partners” 💡 Dude! Im starting to understand how to move out of ‘resentment prison’ I needed to hear this today! Ya and forgive self for lowering boundaries and rinsing and repeating! all such great advice

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️

@susannesteinhusen7876 Ай бұрын

I love this interview, thanks. Dr Joe Dispenza says, when the stuff is processed, healed, forgiveness comes by itself, thats how I experience it.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

❤️

@carolrose298 2 ай бұрын

Amazing, amazing, amazing. I related everything about this podcast. Can't wait to read the book. Thank you Terri for always being true to who you have on. You are the most amazing woman and I have learned so much from you

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much, Carol 💕 Glad you enjoyed this one!

@silviaconjar1184 Ай бұрын

thank you Terri and your guest ...always love to learn from you and all that you share with us. Amazing conversation

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

So glad you enjoyed it ❤️

@silviaconjar1184 Ай бұрын

@@terri_cole ❤️ always

@seacatMEOW Ай бұрын

I love this conversation. I wish our society would recognize that institutional homophobia is child abuse--plain and simple. Attitudes need to change so that the LGBTQ community can come into this world and have the parents and society accept their LGBTQ offspring so they can socialize from the beginning of their lives.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

👏👏👏

@AmiFouts-ry9hw Ай бұрын

I realized, later in life, that I picked relationships that mocked the unhealthy relationship I had with my mother growing. My counselor floored me when she indicated that I was repeating the relationship I had with my mom. Because it was familiar and apparently comfortable.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Yep, it's so common and you're not alone ❤️

@lauracde4414 Ай бұрын

When he answers the question on forgiveness he is describing restoration as I understand it. I think we can free ourselves by forgiving without deciding to restore any relationship with anyone. Restoration requires health and growth from both parties. The victim can’t create a new healthy relationship alone

@jessicaroberts8090 2 ай бұрын

Forgiveness yields blessings.

@gregariasanchez1801 2 ай бұрын

Qué buena entrevista, Terry! ambos son tan buenos terapeutas y los comentarios y plática sacó lo mejor de los dos! Hay tanto qué aprender todavía de todo lo que compartes! Está para verla varias veces. Gracias gracias gracias 🙏🙋🏼‍♀️

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

So glad you enjoyed it as much as I did, Gregaria! Dr. Frank was truly an amazing guest. ❤️

@ramonacrawford3247 2 ай бұрын

Awesome and so true! We know what we know! 🎉

@AnnaGeorgiades 2 ай бұрын

Agree

@MicheleBlack1 2 ай бұрын

Excellent- I’m getting the book 📕 Happy Birthday 🎁

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

❤️❤️

@iw9338 Ай бұрын

Excellent, i will Not self abandon. Thanks for saying that.i recently decided to take 10 miles of distance from my 10 siblings in order to take care of me.😢😮😅❤❤❤

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Good for you! 💕

@f_j16 2 ай бұрын

Hi Terri, thank you so much for this interview, it is one of the most scratch that it is the most powerful video and interview I have seen. I do think you need a disclaimer that watching this video can bring your own trauma to surface. But it is so real so authentic so impactful, filled with depth and breadth and relatability. I want to ask what process one can go through to identify the right level of therapist or process they need on healing journey; and how can one help a loved one create greater awareness that they actually need to embark on a healing journey to reclaim their life the one that they deserve regardless of the past. Forever grateful to your wonderful work that I have been following for over a year now and it is helping me immensely! 🙏

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for the suggestion, I've added it to the video description ❤️ As for your Qs: I have a video on finding the right therapist here that may help -- kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fa-XkpVylry-qqs.html As far as "how can one help a loved one create greater awareness..." I think that's a tricky one. Most of the time I suggest leading by example. We cannot presume we know more about what someone needs than they do, which can be really, really tough when you're watching someone suffer. I learned this lesson myself with my sister, which I detailed here: kzfaq.infoCsWl0-5kNtM

@f_j16 Ай бұрын

Thank you very much Terri for your response and further guidance, truly appreciate it. 🙏

@carmenl163 2 ай бұрын

Honestly, I am a bit shocked he mentions IFS only as a side note. I know this is a memoir and not a professional book, but since he has written two books about that, I imagined it would have greatly impacted his life, helping him overcome his trauma.

@terrahillman151 2 ай бұрын

Agreed! Like it’s almost disconcerting how little he mentions IFS. That being said, I do understand IFS is just one part of healing from trauma but still, it feels like he’s staying away from the topic almost intentionally distancing himself from it. Albeit I’m making assumptions but that’s my perspective.

@carmenl163 2 ай бұрын

@@terrahillman151 You could be right. I noticed Richard Schwartz is not mentioned on the book's cover, endorsing his memoir, while others like Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Maté are.

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

I did want to ask him about it and I'm sorry I didn't get to! Based on the upcoming events listed on his website I would say he's still interested in the topic: www.frankandersonmd.com/events

@carmenl163 2 ай бұрын

@@terri_cole Thank you, Terri. You might want to check out Tammi Sollenberger. She is a leading IFS expert and a delightful lady. I think you'll love her energy.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

I will add Tammi to our list of suggested guests, thanks!

@OrigenisAdamantios Ай бұрын

I met the aggressor and became the passive acceptor.

@AnnaGeorgiades 2 ай бұрын

When is his audiobook coming out ?

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

Hi Anna- on the US Amazon store, it seems to say June 4: www.amazon.com/Be-Loved-Story-Trauma-Transformation/dp/B0D2PD9R7W Release dates might be different depending on which country you're in. ❤️

@kjbrocky Ай бұрын

I would have liked to have heard something here about HOW to heal.

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Dr. Frank shared his experiences of how he healed, and he goes into more detail in his book. I also have 500+ free videos on my channel about healing that I could help point you to, if you tell me what you're looking for specifically. 💕

@kjbrocky Ай бұрын

@@terri_cole Thanks so much for your reply!

@yogasouls4345 Ай бұрын

I wonder if you think you can forgive in the present whilst the little boy or girl still holds onto the anger and pain? Because the adult you and the person who hurt you are different. They have probably aged and become weak, old and infirm whilst you have grown strong and capable but the hurt child in you can still be there frozen inside.

@yogasouls4345 Ай бұрын

Or would that be by-passing and you haven't really forgiven them until the child is healed?

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

Interesting Q! I think it might depend on why you want to forgive and how you view forgiveness. I go into forgiveness more in this video: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/esd3ibBpzeCro4U.html