Unfortunately this is what tends to happen when you are super giving. Like some people really think just because you are kind to them that they just automatically deserve your kindness no matter how they treat you.

@@jecayladeskin6786 yes !! as unfortunate as it is....this is absolutely true.

but thats so mean id love a friend or gf like that my family would adore her no matter what

You’re so right! I never even thought of tht!

I thought so as well. These are not good people, you can really tell by how comfortable they are speaking that way in his home

Right he would have heard them when he came back from the bathroom

Yeah- why did they feel comfortable trashing her in front of him?

I mean everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if they’re negative, it would be dishonest not to tell him, he’s family and that demands honesty. If they feel that way it’s natural to want to know if others whom you can trust not to share what you said, think the same way as you!

SPOT ON. This is so horrifyingly sad to me. She’s done nothing but be amazing towards this family and I have no doubts that she’s never done anything truly annoying and they just have such deep seeded fatphobia. They look down on her, she’s not “good enough” because of her weight. I mean seriously they labeled her a downgrade for nothing to do with her actual personality.

It’s not just fat people, don’t get me wrong, I was on the heavier side as a kid and didn’t get invited and got called annoying, but since then I have become like somewhere in the middle, and I still get treated like this by my boyfriends mom and sister… it kills…

Yup 🙃

@@amandaleighplans my guess is that this whole family has never struggled with their weight. No one knows how it feels unless they have had to put a smile on when they know someone is looking at them with disgust because of their weight. I have friends that have told me their lives will never be the same because they remember how they felt before they lost weight.

@@briannabrown7031 I have never agreed more with a comment in my life. But I've gotten it from my mom, aunts, and particularly one sister. I've suspected she's embarrassed or something of me for a while. Mostly because she'll never take pics of me or show me to anyone unless she absolutely has to and I'm just on the heavier side as well compared to my other sisters...

THANK YOU. My estranged mother behaved the same way, and the best decision I ever made in my life was cut myself free from that Zeplin of a family. All hot air, no substance.

Thank you for saying this

Absolutely!! Imagine if he held his wife and kids accountable? They wouldn't turn out this way. That's why the siblings don't care despite having every reason to. Smh

Very true

Hes complicit but not as complicit

Yeah absolutely not.

Honestly the dad is the only one I believe I feel like he's just the type of person to go along with what everyone says and only agreed with his family out of habit. he seemed genuinely interested in apologizing the right way

The only reason they are apologizing is because OP was more than ready to cut them off his life and they were scared(example: thanksgiving the mom never expected him not to come)

Also Sammy wouldn't know if they were actually happy to have her around. She would always feel like a burden to him and his family afterwards. It's how I learned a hard I dislike you is better than pretending to be your friend and it coming out later that you were never wanted there. And now you can't trust when people say they care about you

Except he's not loyal to his family, which is a problem.

@@mewho6199 He is loyal to his family. Family are the ones who love you and love the other people who love you. Family is love, not blood. Period.

@@mewho6199 sometimes family’s way to toxic to have a good relationship with them and sometimes it has nothing to do with that person In this positon screw his family. If they don’t know how to be respectful and realize what’s their business and when they should keep stuff to myself. I don’t communicate with my family because my mom is literally the evil queen in Snow White is surrounded by yes men and manipulated everyone and everything Family’s wrapped around her finger. The only thing I did wrong was struggle with undiagnosed autism she never took me to get tested for so I struggled in nearly every sense of the word. Blood does not mean loyalty respect and love means loyalty and if your blood cant respect the person you love then screw them why would I want that around me and the person who makes me happy. The one I want a future with. Loyalty only goes so far when it’s literally only because you are related. he chose to let this person in his life and clearly wants to keep them there if they don’t like it screw their toxic ass

@@mewho6199 i’d also like to add is always a way to approach a conversation and when somebody’s literally using words you talk shit they clearly didn’t approach it the right way and they can either apologize and correct themselves or give them the space a grown adult deserves If they had an issue with her they should’ve had her they are on had the conversation with her or have the conversation another day when she’s not there are planning to come over

@@mewho6199 not all family is worth being loyal to. If he were to marry her and it sounds like he will then she will be above his biological family and will become his main family.

I for one would NEVER talk to my family again!! The poor thing spent hours on their handmade birthday gifts like r u freaking kidding me?!! She’s an absolute GEM 💎!! I wouldn’t care how sorry any of them were. I know that’s harsh but who the hell cares… they’re mean ppl. Straight up evil. And making fun of her physical appearance?!! 🤬😡 I was always taught if it’s not something someone can change in 5 seconds you DONT talk about it!!

I wouldn’t want them in my life anymore. Just the fact they got caught is the ONLY REASON they wanna say sorry

The mom said to pass on apology if I'm correct that's not an apology

@@juliapayne4511 She apologized in person, too, afterwards. For the record, I don't believe it was genuine. She's just horrified about being called out for being awful. None of them deserve forgiveness and, if I were OP, I'd go very low contact, or no contact with the sister that keeps doubling down.

Unfortunately my inlaw family can be like this where they will complain to my husband about a slew of random things I have done expecting him to scold me and put me in my place. He tells me about it and takes my side but he does complain its a lot of stress on him to deal with their moaning the whole time. We are looking to move far enough away from them that its inconvenient for them to visit us the whole time and critisize us. Complaints include 1. "oh she didnt say hello to us when she came over" when I did but they kept talking over and ignoring me nor do they ever say hello to me btw. Now I speak really loudly and repeat myself till they respond to me. 2. "You arnt cutting your daughters food small enough and she should be using a fork/spoon." My daughter is 1 1/2 if I cut her food she stuffs all the peices in her mouth and chokes I know this from experience and have explained that leaving food whole forces her to slow down and bit off pieces. Plus shes not even 2 yet she should be using her fingers to eat sometimes she does ask for a spoon sometimes so she knows how to use one. 3. Comments that my husbands car and our house are not clean enough to their standards and when are we going to stop being lazy and get around to cleaning. My husband works long hours and still needs to drive an hour to work and back and I am 7 months pregnant and have an energetic toddler to deal with so frankly we cant be bothered with a few toys on the floor. We would clean before they come but they will just rock up with no warning.

What makes you think Sammy is amazing? I think she's emotionally manipulative and quite possibly a covert narcissist. Can you imagine never speaking your own mother again because she called your partner fat and annoying, especially when your partner is fat and annoying?

@@mewho6199 wdf ? What makes u think she is annoying? Did u know her ? Gosh u must be so annoying

@@mewho6199 What makes you think Sammy's annoying? Sammy is fat, but that doesn't make it ok for someone to say that they can't believe her partner likes her body and that her partner can do better. That's so messed up. If someone spoke about my partner like that I wouldn't give them the time of day unless they apologized either. There's nothing in this story to suggest that OP was manipulated by Sammy or that she is a narcissist. She didn't ask him to cut off his family or anything like that

@@mewho6199 we know this is you, twin sister. Sammy seems like an angel. Act your age and quit acting like a teenager.

@@mewho6199Grow up. This reads like you are 13 years old.

Right he could’ve easily been a toxic dude

How are they toxic? They thinks she's fat and annoying. She is fat. She seems, based on the evidence, quite annoying. Then they refused to lie and say they were sorry for telling the truth. They sound like honest people. I would be annoyed by a woman trying to forcefully insert herself into my family. You have to earn that and not through bribery.

@@mewho6199 10 months ago so I don't remember what this is about but you are either a troll or need therapy. Bye now.

@@mewho6199 but they invited her to these events and asked her for favors like watching the kids or helping bro get a job amongst other things. They used her and refused to talk to her honestly to her or her bf’s face cause most likely they are toxic, it is bs and they know it. It also seems like they took no interest in actually trying cause they didn’t even have a clue about her past 🙄

@@mewho6199 Hi younger sister use your real id 😂

Totally agree. The mum was only crying because her son wasnt comming to thanksgiving and she had caused a rift with him. She couldnt care less that she had genuinly hurt Sammys feelings and ruined the relationship she had with Sammy.

Yupppp they totally expected their son to agree with them and dump her, and just got into deeper shit when he didn’t do that

I wouldn't watch them kids AT ALL anymore....apology or not 😂

She’s def jealous, she’s a single mom and Sammy is a positive person in a loving relationship who’s great with kids. She’s probably bitter

Yeah OP’s family is absolute TRASH.

Honestly, it sounds like the dad fell in love with a horrible person and let her raise his kids the same way😔

@@kaliyaht5116 I agree

Wasn't it the dad who said she was just a rebound and that's why he's dating down?

@@kitsulu8576 no, that was the sister I think... more like the sister is trying to rebound from that break up 🙄😆

@@kitsulu8576 it was the sister

Ugh. 12 years?! So so sorry you went through that

That's awful, I am so, so sorry 😩 sending love and strength your way

What happened after?

It basically being gaslight in my opinion I am so sorry they did that to you, they are not good people

I realized only after 5 yrs of marriage that my whole reality was all a lie and they all revealed their true colors only after i had my first child. I was initially angry at myself for being so trusting and guillable but I later realized that this shouldn't change my trusting nature just because its them who are in the wrong. So sorry you had to go through that as well!! Atleast now I'm able to clearly see whenever I'm being gaslighted and I call them out instantly!

Ya they were just sorry they got caught

Same thought

That’s why they don’t have anything more specific to say about her than “she’s annoying.” She’s probably cheerful and eager to please them. Then they find the go-to “she’s fat” criticism because they enjoy the feeling of looking down on her.

That's not jealousy. That's suspicion. I would be suspicious too.

@@mnbbgg Cheerful and eager to please is annoying. It can come across as insincere and desperate. Sammy, by all accounts, seems desperate.

@@mewho6199 LMAO you comment everywhere on here, so it tells me you have big feelings. OP's sister, is that you?? 😂👋🏻 You're hilarious.

Agreed, it would be so hard to marry someone whose family doesn’t like you - and how do you even get past this. I feel so bad for Sammy and the son. My parents love my gf, and vise versa. Although Sammy probably thought they loved her too! But my gf has had her mom on speakerphone when her mom had no idea I was home and she talks about me so positively and sweetly. It makes me happy. And I’m pretty sure my parents like my gf more than they like me 😂 that just makes me feel so grateful because it wasn’t always that way in my past relationships… my parents somehow knew when they didn’t like my past partners lol

No, she does not.

@@mewho6199we know it’s you, younger sister. Cry harder little girl.

I don't. I would never marry a man who stops hanging with his parents and siblings because they called me fat and annoying. I'd be like, "Yeah, I'm fat. How can I be less annoying? Your suggestions probably won't help, but I'd love to hear them." I certainly wouldn't cry about it for days or at all. That crying was clearly for OP's benefit: it's called emotional manipulation.

@@mewho6199 Are you kidding me? She goes out of her way to do all sorts of nice things and then gets insulted like that? All she wants is to be accepted by her boyfriend's family and they won't give her that. The emotional manipulation is from the family, not from her!

@@mewho6199 no. Emotional and verbal abuse isn’t okay. I would never let my family disrespect my boyfriend like that. I was with a man who let his mom walk ALL OVER ME and treat me like crap for 7 years and by the time he ever stuck up for me it was too late. I still have a fear of getting close to any of my partners mothers or letting them in to get to know me in fear of being abused again.

Update ; I finally found my person 🤍

@@sarahludwig7436 oh my god!!! Congrats girl 👏 👏

How did they react when you chose her?

Were your parents "toxic" before, or did you only start to see them as such through the eyes of your gf/wife? If the latter, you may have been hoodwinked by a narcissistic or abusive partner. They love to isolate and cut you off from people who love you but see them for what they are.

@@mewho6199 What the hell is wrong with you like honestly what is wrong with you

He is not going to be happy with Sammy. Sammy thinks she can force how others feel about her. That's not healthy.

@@mewho6199 Do you fucking know Sammy like how she hurt you personally

Narcissistic behaviour

100%

What? Why?! Why should he lose his family for that, such nonesense! Not to mantion they didnt even Say anything that bad.. They Say shes annoying thats It .. Grow up ...

@@megafone11 because at that point, if they’re willing to talk about your girlfriend like that when your not around. Imagine what they would say about her if she were his wife. It’s not like the girlfriend made him choose either, he did that willingly. They didn’t just call her annoying either, they said she was fat and that she was a step down from him, if your family talked that way to your SO would you honestly treat your family the same. Or if you had a child Would you talk that way about your child’s girlfriend or boyfriend

@@megafone11 adding to what was said It's about trust as well

@@megafone11 family isn’t everything. The fact that they had no respect for him or his gf is wild. Blood don’t mean shit. Coming from a family of assholes I always thought it was dumb that just cuz I shared DNA with these people, I have to take their shitty treatment and keep contact

Big yikes that you think being a single mom is a toxic thing.

It said the twin sister had kids not yhe youngest the youngest apologized fist but by text, then the brother and the brothers twin sisters still hadn't and was pissed she lost her free babysitter in Sammy

@@nessapie8407 so the twin 🙃

@@jayliketheletter4941 well youer assuming alot you should at lest have the fact straight 🙄

@@nessapie8407 meh I’m sure you’ll live

Wowww!!! That’s absolutely horrible!! She sounds like a nightmare and like someone you don’t even need in your lives… I’m getting married in June and there was so much family drama at my engagement party I’m just waiting for the shit storm to happen at or before my wedding. I’m kind of dreading it actually. I totally sympathize!! I really hope your fiancé/ husband sticks up for you because it speaks volumes if he doesn’t! 💜💜💜

My MIL never approved of me. In fact, she hated me before she even met me because my now husband wanted to spend some holidays with me and my family instead of them (he was living with his dad at the time so I only met his dad and step mom). She felt as if I was taking her son away from her. She was always a little snotty when it came to talking to me or about me. No one agreed with her and her comments, and I was surprisingly welcomed from his whole family. Even being two years married, she still gives me nasty looks when we share a recliner chair... it sucks, I wish she would've liked me or even gotten to know me, but it is what it is. I'm happy with my husband and that's all I need. That's all you'll need too. I hope you have a wonderful wedding filled with love. You will heal, even if slowly ❤

@@saraa4203 What is it with mothers feeling like their son's partners are taking their sons away from them?!? Like he's a grown man with his own thoughts and feelings! Hope things with your MIL get better!

You are not your illness. Sending you positive vibes and love 💖💖💖

@@chelseamcfarland6170 I’m thankful because he has always put her in her place when she brings me up. She’s very ableist and he’s called her out for it several times. He’s considered cutting her off a few times, but somehow she’ll calm down for a bit and we end up here again. I hate to see him in a rocky relationship with his mother so there’s a part of me that wants them to make up, but it’s going to be a long time before I can ever “accept her” as my MIL. We had a courthouse wedding this last week (because of covid ruining our plans) which she didn’t attend so luckily no drama there. She lives out of state so there was no way for her to come rain on our parade, lol.

Me too😞

Exactly. “They feel really bad and are so embarrassed” no? They don’t feel bad at all, they just feel awkward they got caught. They probably takes about her like that all the time

Nah she more than that she queen 👸 she just dropped her crown same as her fiance he the king 🤴

I was stunned 🙈

Exactly cause u know they meant it in the moment or they wouldn't have said anything. They're just sorry they were caught

Exactly!! They only feel sorry they were caught. And when they realized he wasn’t going to brush it off and chose his girlfriends side then they wanted to “fix”things.

Me too I’ve tried searching it up on Reddit but it doesn’t come up 😭

Absolutely. Any compliment they gave her would seem fake, it really broke trust

Completely agree and understand. 14 years in and we are cordial but it never goes away

I think the fact that OP could objectively see how toxic they were/are helps. You're right, you marry the family but if he did cut them out, it's a family of one. Personally, I'm one for second chances if you're genuine but that's it cuz 'fool me twice'.

This was my initial thought too. I think I might just have to never see his family but still encourage him to see them because they’re his family. I would just separate myself from them :/

This is how it is at my work it sucks

It’s v common among adults too

Their apologies are hollow. Especially the siblings.

​@@babytooty04I feel like the dad MIGHT be somewhat sincere

Blood is thicker than water is only the partial saying. It's actually "blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" which essentially means exactly what you said-- chosen family, the family you build is more important than the one you're born into. It's so odd how it's been flipped on its head to colloquially mean the exact opposite.

Stories like this are always a nice reminder of how wonderful my mother in law is. I have been blessed with a sane, kind, and welcoming mother in law.

My MIL is the worst, but my SIL is my favorite human