Twoset talking/gossiping about musicians dating and carefully not spilling a thing about their personal life lol

next episode: please talk about how you two can stay friends while also being business partners! how do you divide the work, how do you start to expand your team and hire other people you’re not close with, how do you divide the time between twoset and your own personal life, etc cuz u know starting a business with friends can very easily break your friendship apart

1st advice “ you shouldn’t be dating you should be practicing “

the way they made this video but didn't go into any personal details is kinda impressive 😭

Brett immediately pointing out that the question of the young guy wasn't about Eddy and him but about the couple just shows how well he can read people.

17:28 “If you need another pair of ears, I’m here and I’m all yours.” - I loved how inviting that sounded 😊 Thanks Brett!

I am a musician married to a musician (for 25 years and counting). I 100% agree that the relationship has to be about supporting each other. But this goes for everyone, not just musicians.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”, wise wise words to live by.

"Don't give people practicing unsolicited advice" So true for relationships, Tonic and everywhere else

as a musician, I can confirm no matter how much we hide it, we still have a little bit of competitiveness inside us

On competitiveness and teamwork: "Us against the problem, not us against each other"

17:20 "not even that! Tips is too much!"😂😂😂😂 Brett's so wise!

What's attractive is someone who is engaged with their craft/ profession. Like their soul is not dead yet. 😂

My favourite content so far. Unintentional flexing of wisdom 🤭. But that advice of "Practice being happy for others" is 100% accurate. You never know how hard that practice is until you do it.

Twoset Therapy

My dad told me once that all his past girlfriends did not manage to understand his dedication to practicing for hours each day and they all got super jealous. And then my mom came long (she's a pianist), and she was the only one who understood :)

“Practice celebrating others” literally so good and so important to practice using our thoughts rather than our thoughts using us. Thanks for a great chat!

Envy - In my early 20s I got injured as a runner while one of my mates really took off, and I was so envious of him competing so great - but only in the sense that "I wish I could run like that", and never in the sense "he shouldn't run that well when I cannot", I was properly happy and proud of his success. That, I think, is an important distinction to learn, "envy" in the sense "I want too..." is OK (maybe even good), but "envy" meaning "he shouldn't either..." is very very bad.

Brett having practiced to be happy for others is soooo epic in my eyes! Personal growth is so difficult and requires time and practice as well and also requires you to acknowledge your flaw in the first place, which can hurt and can be very difficult. Brett facing that is proof of his mature personality and character.

Been married almost 25 years. This is actually all really solid advice for any relationship!

they really shared useful stuff here. not just for romantic relationship. this can be applied in a family, friends, or even in workplace. so nice. ❤️

There's a Buddhist practice called "Mudita", of wishing sympathetic joy to others, and it's practiced as an antidote to envy. It can be very useful to consciously cultivate an attitude of wishing others success (even wishing it for oneself), similarly to having a Metta practice.

I‘m not a musician but I found myself constantly nodding because everything you said just applies to other professions as well that require some sort of constant learning.

In the end, it's important why you're playing. If you are playing to be better than everyone, you will never be happy because there will always be someone better than you. You'll be happiest if you learn to play to make music. You're literally making an inanimate object sing. Be proud.

Brett hit it on the head with "emotional maturity"

This podcast is filling my void of listening you two nerd out on classical music on the main channel. It's just really enjoyable to listen to you two talking to each other.

When Eddy said "if you're not the teacher, maybe you should just shut up", it reminded me of several of my ex partners who have told me they've learned that, when a woman complains, you should just shut up and listen because they don't want you to give them a solution, they want to feel like they can vent and have someone just listen. (As a woman, yes, that's what we need, and I always thought that was obvious.) They've all also said they learned that lesson the hard way. I can see Eddy had some similar experiences xD I think a smart man learns this by their mid-late twenties

“being good at your instrument makes you attractive” 100% YES i was at all state and was practically drooling over the concertmaster because he was so good

EDIT: We broke up. Listen to TwoSet guys. Focus on PRACTICE. LOVE ISN'T REAL. As a pianist who has been in a relationship with someone for 6 years, I can see that you guys are really making valid points with this one. To date a non-musician means them not understanding how much your instrument and musical time means to you. While dating someone who plays the same instrument as you can come off as competitive. I think it's safer if you date someone who is a musician but they play a different instrument than you. In that way they'd have a high level of understanding as to why music is so important to you, at the same time they don't view you as a competition because the two of you have different expertise in terms of musical instruments. I could actually relate to this in some way because I'm a pianist and I'm dating someone who doesn't play the piano but has knowledge about music theory and musical compositions (he composes hymns). So he doesn't view me as a competition. In fact, he encourages me whenever I practice and he'd give me constructive criticisms along the way. When dating musicians, it really takes two to tango. The two of you have to understand each other without treating each other as competition.

18:06 there's the message and the messanger! Eddy's wisdom just keeps to amaze me!

On the talk of envy: Sometimes when you re jealous for a person's situation they might be jealous of you for your situtation, because humans tend to want what they dont have. Example: i had a friend (around middle school) and I once told them that I was super jealous of them because they had their own room and didn't have to share, and they replied that they were jealous of me because i had to share with my siblings while theirs had moved out. A more recent example: I whine to my friend from music school that their university offers a lot more opportunities for extra credits than mine, and they whine to me that they dont have time to practice their instument like I do (how we met) because of that. I guess the take away here is be grateful for what you have while using others people achievements to motivate your own :)

damn, reminds me of pianist Yuja Wang and Klaus Makela's recent breakup and cancelling concerts here and there. 😬

I can tell: yes, as musician marring another musician could be an enrichment to each other. Sadly we had all the problems the twoset said: I felt oppressed, cause my husband always wanted to give me advices, even after i said, I would like to hear that from my teacher and when I became successful (and more successful as he) he began to hurt me much more and finally he left me... I think this is only one part. I wish, to know this advices 10 years ago!

Musician or Non Musician... Ultimately it boils down to the individuals. I have seen people from the same field grow together. And also I have seen siblings pulling each other down. So I agree hard with the emotional maturity part.

The best point made in this video is that practice is not just for musical skills. I'm glad they pointed out that feelings like jealousy can hit anybody, but the difference between somebody who chooses to behave jealously and somebody who chooses to be gracious is often practice. I tell the people I work and live with that a close knit community doesn't just happen by default. It takes sincere effort and hard work by each person in the community to make it work. Being good and kind is not easy, and doesn't always feel natural. But working at it consciously will have results. And like with music, the harder the work that was put in, the more effortless and beautiful the final gift will be.

Great advice, Twoset! Your maturity is impressive - from a fan almost twice your age

Somewhere down the line, they are talking about themselves. Anyway i totally agree. In a relationship - any relationship, you and ur partner should see urself as a unit, rather than a separate entity. It won't work otherwise - if it happens, just move on.

This episode hits on TRUTH. Being happy for someone can only either be neutral or make a positive impact in the friendship/relationship, but being a dick about someone else's success ruins their vibe and eventually, your own as well. Letting envy consume you and letting it dictate your actions is destructive to also your own well-being, you're not being the best version of yourself. Also, I think it's important to at least sometimes go see the other perform. It means *so much* to me when any of my friends come and see my choir! I also try to go see my friends perform when I can. And I'd imagine it would become a bit of an issue if your partner never ever comes to see you in anything you do, even if they had time. You start wondering if they're truly that busy, or if they think your music sucks, or if they're just envious you are performing and not them. :/

Why are their voices so comforting 😌 I’m just sitting here on a cold rainy day watching this and feeling so relaxed 🙈 thank you for a great conversation!

This episode was amazingly insightful not only to dating just in managing all kinds of relationships. I love how intune both Eddy and Brett about their self and emotional awareness. This was such a great episode. ❤❤❤

Y not on Spotify 😢 ono one episode!!! But also, I love hearing your guys banter so this is a welcome podcast to add to my list! Thank you!

twosetdads our tiktok attention span can't handle this 20 something minute podcast episode i think we need t go back to the longer 50 minute podcast eps pleasepleaseplease!

I didnt know this channel existed! Love the calm vibe and more serious podcast format. I‘d love to know what their opinion is on all things mundane, because those guys are super wise, sophisticated souls, yet so relatable and human with all their emotions and struggles in life as all of us millenials kinda are. Would also love to hear more on mental health, relationships, dating, performance pressure, Asian pressure of society, western culture and mentality through classical music etc, so many topics.

Just my own perspective. I started dating a girl in my studio during my first year. She was in her third year, and is a lot more musically advanced than I am. I never though, “ Oh I wish I was better than her. Ah! I’m so intimidated!” I’m just glad that I can hear her play. It’s so inspiring! We both have our own unique musical instincts. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of standing behind her in the organ loft, turning her pages ;)

As you said in your 1st podcast, Brett is in charge of the logistics stuff while Eddy is in charge of the creative stuff. Can you make an episode and talk more about the creativity preparation for tours/content, where to find the resources/inspiration, whether Eddy has to persuade Brett to follow his ideas etc.?

PLEASE BRING HILARY AND JANINE ONTO THE PODCAST!!! I know it would be very very hard tho ❤

my mother finally won a grammy award .screw her. i cant 🤣😂🤣😂

Feels like this is not only a phenomenon within the music circle, but also maybe some other industries like finance or legal etc. where status and performance matters and competition is vast with limited positions and spots available. But in reality, it is difficult to find a person who genuinely feels happy to your success when by nature they are competitors in the same field. I can't imagine how bad it feels if your partner becomes a world class musician meanwhile you can't even get into an orchestra (maybe exaggerating but yea)

If you can advice slowly you can advice quickly

Fantastic advice. As someone your age who is not a musician, I've experienced so much of what you're talking about in past relationships. It's not music-specific, it's human and people's stuff comes up in relationships A LOT. It's definitely a tricky area to navigate and requires a lot of self-honesty and introspection. The women you end up with will be very lucky!

So the solution is ………. JUST GO PRACTICE!!!!!!!

Babe wake up, new twoset talks episode dropped

Should I be concerned I actually clicked on this because I trust these two for dating advice??

Same could be said about other art fields. The competitiveness, the jealousy, etc. I’ve dated both a musician and an artist. The musician dumped me because his ambitions outgrew our relationship. He was a really strong flautist and I admired him for it; even asked for his help a few times but there were other things that were my realm like drawing ✍️

I would love to see an episode about everything tour related, the planning, logistics, but also the script writing, script learning, music related decisions, practice, stage design, outfit choices. All that good stuff. 😍

It actually sounds so general it can be took on any major in uni haha thanks a lot for your advice, it actually made lot sense 💛💛

18:39 the thing about the mother who is the pianist, yes, my dad and all of the other pianists in the area taught each other’s kids because they had a rule that you just don’t teach your own kids, it’s very difficult. Although he did teach me.

@22 min. They really describe their own friendship to a tee!! Eddy says that if both persons in a relationship are musicians you can help each other reach your goals...you have to be a team, the moment you are competing it's "Game Over". Brett then said if you are helping each other, your improvements will be exponential. You have a constant pair of ears, to listen out for you. Just imagine the amount of feedback you can get at a rapid rate. There's someone there for you 24/7. It's a huge advantage!

Really appreciated the discussion on knee-jerk envy reactions and countering it with practicing joy for someone else / staying within your role. It hit the nail on things I need to work on, and provided a new angle by which I can grow myself and get better. Thanks for these podcasts. The serious, long-form talks are a great addition to your content.

Even though I'm not a musician this was realy helpful and insightful! I do struggle with envy sometimes and it's great how you give advice for this situation while highlighting that you shouldn't blame yourself for feeling it. Thank you guys your podcast it always makes me so happy

16:01 That kind of mindset is also called "crab mentality" in some places like my country. Crabs in a bucket pull each other down in competition to ascend.

I recall an OLD TSV episode (at least 6 years ago) where they said they don't fight when they have different opinions, that they talk things out. Looks like they are still practicing doing it.

I'm just blown away by how mature and wise those two are at such a young age

24:34 Gen z here! Guys I listen fricking 1,5 hours long symphonies of course i am gonna watch 25 min video of yours :D

"One of the chosen few" who made it to the end, here 👋 but I'm older than you, so I guess I wouldn't have an excuse for a too short attention span 😆 I agree with what you said. And, like everything else, relationships of all kinds - to be good - require practice! 😊 I think that people sometimes break ties with someone more succesfull, not because of envy, but because they begin to think: 'What can I possibly do for them? They don't need me anymore. They must think I'm a looser...' Overcoming such an obstacle is possible only if both sides want it and communicate it. Otherwise, everyone just ends up acting based on their - possibly wrong - assumptions.

Yep, it’s a challenge…! I met my now husband the first day of music college and we’ve been married 27 years now. Most of the time we are filled with joy at each others success, but when you’re having a dip in your own playing or your own achievements, it’s something that is harder to feel… and it’s also important to keep communicating with each other about your own self-doubt, etc, so you can be a support to each other. One persons success doesn’t mean the other persons failure, but it feels like it sometimes with that comparison and envy going on in our mind, often subconsciously!

Fun fact: My parents basically started dating because my dad is a musician 🎶💘🎶 They grew up in the same small town, so they kinda knew each other, but not very closely. My dad already had his eye on my mom for a while, but she wasn’t interested in him like that (yet). Well, all of that changed when they both joined the local church choir. At first, my dad was just one of the singers, but because he was able to play organ he eventually became the choir's accompanist. Seeing him play the organ completely shifted my mom's perspective on him. She was mesmerized by his playing; fascinated by his abilities on such a complex instrument. My mom said she "started to see him in a different light.“✨ Eventually they started going out, and the rest history. 🥰 Growing up my mum often told me she "fell in love with his way of making music“ 😍🎶which I think is just beautiful. They have been together for over 40 years and counting.❤ If this is not the ultimate motivation to "GO PRACTICE!" I don’t know what is! 😉

I came here to gossip and left with a life-lasting lesson...thanks so much Brett and Eddy 💕💕

maybe it’d be a bit easier dating from different music families (eg string dating wind) idk tho

I'm in music, and I'm glad I didn't marry a musician. I'm happy to be in a separate profession from my husband. Great video, Twoset. Your advice from professional experience is invaluable.

"a lot of ego involved" - understatement of the century ! 😅

"We made all the mistakes so you dont have to!" But I'll still manage to make all mistakes possible!! :)

Please actually upload these eps to Spotify and Apple Podcasts!!!! Need your dulcet tones for audio only listening in the car 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I wish these talks had subtitles 🥺😅 A very interesting topic, you can think about it and apply it in your private life having nothing to do with music, just for the growth of any common healthy relationship or friendship. Their emotional maturity and level of culture are just impressive 👏🏼

I think it’s good to have friends in and out of music so you get the best of both worlds!!!

So the secret of your succes is, besides being multitalented, your friendship.

I mean, im not a musician, but even in uni, i get competitive when my friend got higher grades. But its not a malicious envy, its just a trigger for me to study harder. Its a positive competition, but we are still friends and close to each other.

Very heartwarming and sincere. I have tremendous respect for you both.

I think that this is my favorite podcast so far! I loved all the points that you guys made here. Envy can be so ugly and drive people away, but I like how you guys put it to where you are not making people feel guilty for feeling it and giving tips for how to overcome it! This was a very informative and fun episode and I can't wait for the next one! 😁 P.S The comment about how being good at your instrument makes you more attractive is so true. I have seen this, especially being someone who plays an instrument myself.

Brett knowing that the correct term is “unconsciously” not “subconsciously” makes me so happy lol

thank you for mentioning that envy like you said applies in romantic as well as other relationships, can become so toxic that not only it ruins the relationship, but also brings both people down. It is so important to keep an eye out for this, to be able to recognise when it pops up, not act on it, and think and act with a cool head that benefits everyone. edit: can we have twosettalks on apple podcasts please? 🙏

How Eddy said "Love" made me slightly smile~~~ 😍😍😍😌

God this just lets me know EVEN MORE how bad of a relationship i was in. He was NOT mature at all even though he touted himself to be. I needed someone so much more supportive.

Yall need to update spotify 💀

My first relationship was another musician. I came out of it vowing never again. Then there was the guy who knew nothing about music and could not even clap in time. I came out of it vowing never again. There is a happy medium there. And as far as ego goes, you have to have some ego to put yourself out like we do to an audience.

I was in the talking stages with a guy a couple of months back, we weren't dating.. just talking 😭 for reference I'm a pianist who focuses more on teaching and he tends to focus on gigs. I was learning a new piece and when I told him (after like a week or 2 of knowing e/o mind you) he was like "oh that piece? I learned it like 4 years ago. i can help you. I can teach the teacher lol" it's fair to say we never got past the talking stages and I ghosted him like a day later 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he proceeded to text me again like a week later like "was it something I said" like hm I wonder 🤔

Brett and Eddy lookin real good today!!!!

This is my favourite episode so far!!! Especially the friendship advice and navigating natural envy and competitiveness. I’m in academia which has the exact same issues but I’ve never really heard these issues be discussed so safely and openly like this. Looking forward to more content!

Wise advice for relationships in other competitive fields as well.

9:59 as a perfect pitcher, the f# being sharp is so relatable lol

this video was really well made and really hit home for me. i have 3 pianist friends and we're all good friends at about the same level in piano. i found that as we played for each other more and got closer it was really important to be happy for their successes and not be envious of how they are doing. this video helped me realize a lot of this and i just want to say thanks.

I’m disappointed they didn’t give any advice about what to do if you travel back in time and fall in love with Tchaikovsky while you’re trying to save classical music…we know that Brett has experience with that from the virtual world tour lol. It would be VERY realistic and useful advice.

Thank you so much for another great episode, actually the best one so far for me. Your thoughts and advice are very wise and universal for any relationship, not only for musicians. I love listening to you, I hope next episodes will be soon❤

Could you guys do an episode on how to practice more effectively?

They probably won't read this but you guys look fiiiiineeeeeeeeeee in this podcast!

THIRD EPISODE!! LET'S GO

Really loving these videos where we’re getting more long-form content and Brett and Eddy are able to share more about their insight as a musician beyond the normal content videos!! 💖💖 Really enjoying the conversation being created, since some topics raised in normal videos can’t really be discussed thoroughly, and I’m so happy to have a window to their thoughts

OMGGGG ANOTHER EPISODE!!!!

omg new episode!!!

Yes! More Twoset talks!