Ultimatums are great!! That’s how you know when to eject.

Ultimatums are the ultimate red flag in any relationship. Compromising values leads to resentment, which leads to ruin. IMO

Stood up for myself today, sent one packing. I'm not paying for her bucket list!

to have kids in a world that's on the edge of a hard (economic crash) rest is criminal

Always protect yourself because no one else will.

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them." Thoreau

I had a relationship for 6 years I’ve spoken to you about before. Ultimatums are ultimately what she did. It hurts because she never saw me, just as a means to her end. I constantly felt never good enough, and hurt. The goal posts were never in the same place twice. I just kept hiding from it, because either choice to the ultimatum, I felt so ashamed. Don’t ever stop making this content. It keeps a lot of us going, more than we’d ever like to admit.

I've gotten to the point that once an ultimatum is given, it's not even possible to return from it. I have to walk away. It's more important the lesson she may learn, versus my explaining why I'm leaving or will leave.

I'm 49. When I was 27 I was living with a woman who I believed was going to be my wife. I owned two motorcycles. She wouldn't have anything to do with them. One day she came home and gave me an ultimatum. Sell your bikes or I walk! I mulled it over for a couple days. While she was at work, I had her brother come over and collect her belongings. It went on for several days. The screaming and yelling. But, that was the end of us! Love your videos! Peter

Any woman who gives you an ultimatum, has already discerned that to lose you, is not a problem. She either gets more dominance over your life, or you leave. Clearly, she accepts the latter possibility when an ultimatum is issued to you.

Firstly, to defend one's values, one must first have values. Story time. Said it before. In a relationship with my 'ideal' woman. After one year she gave me the common ultimatum: marry me for I leave. I wanted to marry her, but not to an ultimatum, so I said 'choose another guy if you just want to marry.' She left. About 20 minutes later, she came back, and we were together for another two years. Then I lost my job, and she ditched me. Coincidence, I'm sure.

Some very beautiful, wonderful wisdom here, man. I see so much pain in men who deny themselves but who get married. There's something about having someone you can call a "Companion" (But can, and statistically WILL leave you, destroying you and everything you worked so hard to build!) that makes your life a little better, but these days it's just not worth it, and silly women did it to themselves.

I was with a woman in her 40's and she ran a tornado through my life with her horrible daughter for 7 years. She would give me an ultimatum to marry her by a certain date...I would ask her why she wanted to marry when we can't get along for longer than a week at a time. Finally I walked away realizing I could never fulfill or be fulfilled with her.

People negotiate within the context of the relationship (work, intimate, social etc). An ultimatum is when one person tries to use the relationship itself as leverage. The relationship is over at that point.

your forgetting she will divorce you in 3 to 5 years.The lifetime is the alimony and 18 years of child support.

"If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are...a different game you should play." - Yoda

I don’t do Ultimatums from anyone, not my acquaintances, friends, so call friends, family etc. I see it as a mean of control and manipulation. I pull my own strings, no one else. In a relationship this is one the biggest flags there is. Stake your personal principles as a physical flag into the ground, defend it to the very end and don’t give any ground. If you do, you loose as the ticking time clock ticks away.

An ultimatum is an acknowledgment that two people want different things, paired with a declaration that only what one person wants matters. A thoughtful person would view such an impasse as a sign of incompatibility and move on.

The future is looking brighter & brighter fellas, thanks huMAN

Ultimatums are a great way to get out of a relationship.

Sacrifice. Be a REAL man. Think of her first, and everybody else important to her second, and you a distant last (or not at all, actually). Otherwise, no validation for you. Only shame. You gotta admit, it was the perfect ambush 3rd wave feminism pulled. Destroy male spaces to keep men isolated, take aim directly at the limbic impulse in every man to reproduce, unleash a lifetime of gynocentric conditioning starting in the hospital nursery. Ultimately though, the surprise would only work on the unsuspecting. My generation was that unsuspecting generation. Raised by parents pre-3rd wave who still subscribed to the old school, and not realizing what or how the dynamic was changing for their sons. We had no idea what had hit us when we stepped out and into the world in the late 80s and early 90s. Now, however, it's all pretty clear and easy to see. I think the ever increasing radicalism from leftists today is really a realization that the pool of gullibles is now mostly reduced to the undesirables. It's becoming impossible for them to bag a high value stooge anymore. MGTOW is about men making choices, for them. It could be that balding fat ex-pat guy in Bangkok living on a pension to the trim, handsome millionaire bachelor in a metropolitan area who simply chooses to reject the ULTIMATUM. Whatever. All that matters is that choices are made for YOU. Sounds easy, but actually it's quite difficult (impossible?) to do when you're raised and conditioned to believe that "YOU" is actually "HER". No. That's the lie. My generation had to learn the hard way but we survived. You younger guys on this channel, you best soak up every bit of huMAN and others like him. huMAN is very effective at articulating that YOU is your ethics and your boundaries guarding and guiding your soul. That is exactly right. Live with that understanding each day and you will have a very fulfilling life.

Based on Luke's story, I'd say his ex already had someone else around, before she gave the ultimatum to him. It's a safe game for her, either way. He declined the offer, and the other dude immediately took his spot.

Glad I took the red pill in my 20s.....

Good video huMAN, I was never given ultimatums until my daughter was born. I was really confused why she was doing this, and I thought that she had postpartum depression. However, it never stopped, and yes I felt inadequate (a glass half full) because I couldn't do my job as a husband and make her happy. I understand how the desire too be a dad is powerful, but I hope men heed your warning. Too be a dad or not to be a dad is ones choice, but never ignore the enormous red flag of ultimatums.

*Anyone* that gives me an ultimatum will be sorely disappointed.

Another thing to watch out for is what I call the stepper motor demands. They start with something small, like could you grab me a coke from the shop. Things you would normally do for mates. But then they step it up over time. Can you cover my petrol, I'm short. Then they work up and up until you get a covert ultimatum. "My clock is running out and I need to know I'm not wasting my time" for example. As it steps up it becomes harder and harder to say no because you gave in on the slightly smaller things. As Paul Elam says, learn to say no randomly to reasonable requests. Its stops the stepper motor ractching up and gives you a good idea on how a woman handles No

with those ultimatums you can't really win unless you choose your freedom, losing a person who gives you an ultimatum is not really a loss.

Ultimatums come from a place of fear and powerlessness. It's a hail mary that women attempt when they aren't getting their way. Never agree to them-call their bluff and 9 times out of 10, they will just backpedal anyway.

Holy shaaaeet! The exact same thing happened to me! She demanded a baby, gave me a 5 -day ultimatum to start making one, and she ended the relationship without even a thanks for everything I did for her. I helped her out so many times in 2020 and I could not believe a person is capable of such disloyalty. I would not entertain an ultimatum. It was truly bizzare. Don't invest in a woman.

Now that's a fine pencil sharpener you have there. Something I've noticed: the more self-actualized I've become, the less I've felt the "need" for a woman to "complete me" as I foolishly did in the past. You can complete yourself by yourself as it turns out. I suggest everyone give it a try! :)

There can never be an ultimatum if there is no relationship!

One of your best Human

When I ended things with my partner this year, an argument ensued about how she thought I'd given up on her, or given up on us. In honesty, I'd had countless conversations around the issues in our relationship, and nothing changed. I explained that it took me breaking up with her for her to recognise just how bad things really were from my perspective, even though I'd made it clear many times in the past that there were problems with our relationship and that they were going on with little to no improvement. I told her: 'If it takes an ultimatum for you to take my concerns seriously, then this will only ever be a toxic relationship. It shouldn't take me threatening to end the relationship altogether for you to listen to me.'

A friend I was starting to like gave me an ultimatum. She said I had to tell her to just be friends or be in a relationship with her. I had wanted to take time getting to know her before getting close to her like that. I wasn’t sure I could trust her. Yet she did not care about my boundaries and values, which I confirmed after dating her a while. They like to be in control at your expense. I won’t be compromising like that if I can help it. Thankfully the stakes were low for me, but ultimatums are definitely a red flag for me now. Nice content bro

Good stuff! I can relate to this on so many levels. My last relationship was the first one i had since being redpill aware and it was the first time i 100% stood behind my values. It ended only after her constant failed attempts to control who i was and what i wanted out of life. She wanted to mold me to fit into her dream life, but i wanted how you explained it "symbiotic" relationship while keeping our individuality. I refused to bend over backwards only to risked being disposed of when she inevitably deemed me unworthy for her. Needless to say i was relieved when it was over because the pressure and forced guilt caused way too much anxiety. Sex wasn't even that good anyways. If this happened to me far earlier in my life i would have not had the strength to take that stand.

The ultimatum from a woman is when she has ran out of covert methods to control you and frustration has overcome her usual manipulation methods.

Glad to notice your video presentations evolving huMAN! Felt like I was watching a short documentary film. Your style is evolving, growing rather..touching topic, something to think about this week and the times ahead...

Reciprocity. If you deal in ultimatums you agree to them. It goes both ways.

The most common altumatum I hear is no sex. It's often a small thing, but does indicate intent. I've always been steadfast in stating very firmly "sex is not a bargain tool".

It wasn't an ultimatum per se, but when my ex asked me to stay friends (after dumping me to be with other men) I said "no". Rather than just walking away peacefully, her response was twisting every little thing I did and making me out to be some sort of monster. After a few seconds of shock and disappointment, I replied in the same viciousness. I pointed out her issues and how she never wanted to fix them, but rather stay buried in her misery. She was stunned and could only respond with "goodbye". 2 lessons came from that relationship: 1) Having your first serious relationship later in life (in my 30's) makes things mentally harder on you because you never developed the coping mechanisms you would've formed in your late teens and 20's. 2) I wasn't sorry for lashing out, I was sorry that she left me no choice.

Between marriages,... I had a vasectomy. Thereafter, MOST of the many acrobatic 'riders', would ask around the 3-6 month mark - "So, are you going to get a reversal sometime"? . I would smirk and say, "no way",... then came the inevitable ULTIMATUM - "WELL,... in that case I'll find someone else to have my kid/s with "!!! - and silence - as if she expected a capitulation. Needless to sayanother 'rider' would jump on the carousel. . All in all, this just demonstrates the UTILITY factor women see in men,... nothing to do with her 'LOVE & EMOTIONAL BOND' with me,... just another loveless kiddy-capture - to gain her 20YEAR support plan. . Know your self-worth. .

Ultimatums are a bit like blackmail. It never stops with one.

“Stand for something or fall for everything” Cant remember who said that, but

19:07-19:10 - "I hope some of that was useful". Human, This vid is a GODSEND. Thank you.

Wow, huMan, this is such a positive message you kinda glossed over, - learning to say “no” is what leads you to finding your purpose, not giving yourself up for someone else's agenda. And it's so true, while so many men feel they've lost their purpose after a break-up.

It's not hard to being alone either, you will discover the true self and heal.

For me I have always found ultimatums to simply be a sign they are not realistic and are offering me an opportunity to walk away or grab my heels and beg for them to accept my answer, she gave the ultimatum knowing it may end the relationship so answer knowing she is willing to throw it all away or has thrown it all away by making it an option in the moment. Amazing videos as always and thank you.

My 10 year relationship ended last year due to the ultimatum that my ex gave me she told me at the beginning of the relationship she didn't want to get married. but a few years later she started talking about getting married we spoke about it a few times throughout the relationship. But I explained that it wasn't something I wanted I made my stand and said I'm not changing i don't want to get married. then in the end it was either I get married or she leaves it was the hardest decision of my life as I loved her but to be honest I made the right choice. Always choose yourself before anyone else folks. No matter what happens you'll be happier in the long run. .

"Love" is a nonsense. Women do not "Love" per se. They predominantly react to the provision of the right conditions and resources and seek to guarantee the provision and maximise the return of these. Love is totally and utterly conditional. The only woman in any man's life that can love him unconditionally (if he is lucky) is his mother.

If someone gives you an ultimatum, most of the times the relationship is already over. You just don't know it. I laid a 15+ years friendship on ice this year because I caught myself giving my best friend an ultimatum. He treated me like shit and had zero respect of my time. I demanded an apology and he refused. If he apologizes one day, all will be forgotten but until then, I have better things to do in my life.

Yep I put aside most of my dreams for 16.5 years to please her and after 21.5 years I still think about all of the opportunities and adventures I mist out on. Some are still possible to achieve but most of them are gone gone gone! Stand your ground gentleman and never ever betray yourself!

and don't listen to the ones that say im not like that.shes lying

I’m 37 was married almost 11 years. This is 100 percent truth. I gave and gave and gave and then when I questioned because she was taking away intimacy after kids I was told “all you care about is sex”.....I used to be so naive.

Me and my ex broke up last week, couldn't agree to her requirement of basically a schedule(amongst other things), 1 year from now marriage, year after that a house and then the year after that a damn child. As if life is supposed to be like a work schedule. I loved her but I'm not a damn slave. So I walked away, even though it hurts.

I was given an ultimatum, she denied she gave me one, I cancelled the wedding later on (2 Months in advance), no regrets since...

It's odd to see this video recommended time and time again, although I have to say this is your most potent one to this day. It appeals to me strongly and would hazard a guess that my values and yours are connected through our similar personalities man (am INTJ). Very concrete lessons for life and not just dealing with the opposite sex right here.

Of course she found another man right away who got her pregnant. My x did the same thing, move in together in 2 months, pregnant in 4.... feel sorry for him, and he is 50, he will be working till he dies to support her.

I wish I listened it 7 months ago. I was manipulated to have a kid. Even tough I said that I do not want kids before 35 (29 now). She said she got pregnant on purpose. Trust is a fools game and I got played hard. My family calls me egomaniac and selfish - because I want to live life my own way and someone. Gentleman, I urge you to listen your inner voice. If you have doubt - be correct about it, do not go with the flow, do not go with ultimatums. You live for yourself, not for others. Great video, many thanks!

Not even 24 hours ago, just had the most liberating moment. The power of walking away is extremely important and powerful. My worth is my life...my life is only mine. Ebrace whatever life throws at you but at your terms. huMAN...every time nailing it...I know I am repeating myself.

Excellent video human. Well done.

Damn! This was great! Awesome advice and a nice fiery finish! You are freakin solid my friend.

I sooo needed to hear this! Thank you!

An older video I just watched, but still on point, huMAN. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

This is a great place to hang out.

Just listed to this again after one year and it’s probably one of the best piece of advice from one man to another.

"existing" and "living" are not the same. If you exist, you just let the time pass by. If you live, you follow you passion, your standards, what you want in life.

Very useful. Thanks huMAN.

resonate, healing words human.

People are conditioned to think a relationship makes you a complete person...If you are ready to play psychologist to a more than likely damaged person and juggle your own life...I salut you for your bravery for sacrificing your sanity and true happiness.

I fell for the ultimate ultimatum back in my blue pill days ex was begging for children (which neither of us wanted when we got married) after six months I caved because "I didn't want to lose her) lol then when the boys were 1 and 3 she bailed on all three of us they are 19 and 21 now, so the thankless job of being a parent seems like a dream now and I'm glad I did it...they're pretty awesome guys but man, wish someone woulda taught me this shit when I was a youngster THANKS, SHITTY BOOMER DAD! :D

Damn, this is so useful it's fantastic, this is exactly where I am at NOW

Really great article, I can totally relate.

This was awesome .... Thanks Human soooooo much 💪🏾✊🏾✍🏾❤

That first ultimatum, just the beginning of her tyrannical rule. I will say one thing, at least she tipped her hand and showed what was really going on in her mind. Always best to communicate what your relationship goals are at the beginning. Full disclosure. I don't want to waste someone's time, and I don't want mine wasted. If you don't want kids, don't date women who want them. Honestly, once you have reached the point you don't want kids, get a vasectomy. Problem solved.

Great videos. Your videos have been hitting home recently

I think we (men) need to find meaning within ourselves and not through our doing. Very true. If we lose our wife, kids, jobs, possessions - what am I. Who am I. Thanks for the vid huMAN. Very thoughtful.

I think this is one of most honest talk how to get back yourself together. And whole channel is interesting. Fully recommended.

But it doesn't have to be for the rest of your life, this is the beauty of the crucible of transformation and the onset of a greater understanding of yourself. Always love your work huMAN, hope you are well!

Great talk huMAN. Resonates with a lot of men. Keep up the great work. Panos.🇬🇷🇭🇲

This channel is awesome. huMAN provides the same level of insight and wisdom as the ancient Greek and Roman philosophers did. Great information and thoughts.

huMAN, another great video. I just wish this topic had been cover by you or someone long ago in my past. The feelings of pain and hurt as my counsellor used to tell me are often misinterpreted in the moment. I know that from painful experience I project my ideas feeling and values on to women as they project their wants needs and desires on to me. Expecting their wants to be met, and are shocked stunned and confused when I do not meet their demands. Learning to stand up for my virtues and ethics has been a long slow process of trial and error, and I know I’m not their yet. However the more often I stand up for my life goals the stronger I have become. As a side note this strength and decisiveness is proving to keep away those females that would want to manipulate and control me for their ends. This means have only to disappoint fewer females, so less awkward moments dealing with those less overtly controlling individuals. I just have to overcome the biological hard wiring next.......

nice workstation setup!

My last gave me the ultimatum of "spend more time with my kid" (i already did but wasnt willing to force a fake friendship with the little guy) it amounted to she wanted to have me spend more money taking him out to do "stuff" with her as well as spending money taking her out.... dinner and movie for 3 dinner and chuckie cheese for him more movies i had no interest in but would need to go see so that "they" could see them ect ect ect.... EDIT: she got turfed and told why she was turfed.

Your philosophical insights are well thought, well spoken. Keep up the great work. Until a true partnership exists, failure is the only result. Please write book.

Excellent video !!!

Im in a horrible situation. I feel trapped in my marriage. Both of us are from the opposite sides of the world to each other and we got married very fast and now have a 3 year old daughter we both love to the moon and back. I am realising how different we are to each other more and more as time goes on when arguing (constantly)about all of the subjects that matter ie finance(especially), where we should live(we have been living in my country after we got married) and even the roles we have in the family. This has all made me realise how much I hate drama and how much I am aligned to my more traditional values. On this occasion I gave the ultimatum. It came from my soul as I see no way of resolving the differences. I have outlined my values and goals i want to achieve and it doesnt matter how many times we talk or shout she is showing me she wont align to them. Top this off with all my feelings of guilt, sadness, not feeling respected, not feeling appreciated for being the provider and just feeling generally controlled emotionally regarding my personal freedoms like most of the things i like to do in my free time. I cant go on like this. I honestly dont know what to do. How can she cope without me? Will my daughter hate me? Its important to mention I do work away from home for weeks sometimes months. Its not easy but I have no choice. We need this income.

Once again great advice and observation 👍

Wish I heard this over a year ago it would have given me a great level of clarity then but I'm happy I learned/discovered it on my own. Ultimatums - are the bane of my existence and I stupidly accepted A LOT of them for a solid two years and when I think about them now, what did I gain compared to what she gained? She gained parts of my being that she could control. What did I get? Sex? and even then it was never a team effort. I wasn't allowed to be me. ANYTIME I chose to be me, I was acting up. I was being bad. I wasn't being something for her. I desperately just wanted to be me but i couldn't do it. Until I randomly saw a friend of a friend dancing at their wedding on social media. I've NEVER snapped so hard in my life. It made me gain a desire for marriage but also with someone who wants to dance, live, experience life yet completely independent... I could go on. I wanted to feel alive and I was with someone who was dead inside who wanted the banalest wedding and was afraid of my family. Today - I'm in an odd state of single yet in a romantic situation with someone who is completely self-sufficient, hardworking, wants to live and dance and all the things that give you life and soul. We don't need each other 24/7, we don't even rely on each other but we love being around one another and being human. I like it, we like it. I feel like i've gone off on a tangent but Life, Life is good and i'm happy.

We’ll know the “ladies” have decided to fix this when they demand that Family Court judges give 50/50 Custody to fathers and stop all alimony. Yeah, won’t happen but that is when we’ll know women are serious about fixing this.

I felt that way after my divorce. But not anymore. Now I’m just waiting for the clock to run out on my child support. Then I can bloom like a firework.

I agree with you 100%

Thanks!

If a woman ever gives you an ultimatum saying: "Marry me or I'm gone", then she just demonstrated that she doesn't actually love you. If she did, then simply *_being with you_* would be enough (but it never is). They want to nail down that coveted marriage CONTRACT. She's got you by the balls when you say *"I do"* and she's got you by the balls when _SHE_ says *"we're through"!*

Men finding their own camera angles. Jokes dude. Keep up the good content.

the example @0:50 is what I experienced. i also walked away...then crashed hard....and owed my shit....but this video is great at helping me realize i stood up for my values....

Ultimatums are the rattlesnake's warning employed by parents to bring uncooperative children to heel.

Thank you

Iam so happy that I found your site.i thought I was the only person going through this ty God bless each n everyone going through the valley of the shadows of death of being with, whatever I was with.my ex guerrilla gf.i actually got on my hands n knees asking God why me.my ex went through the bathroom floor from just standing there. She went through the floor because she was a big huge woman, very obesity woman.then she left me because she said I was getting her fat.and that she can't find clothes to even fit her @ the mall or anywhere. I told her to put a ad in the newspapers for a seamstress or anyone willingly donated goods. You see miracles do happen Amen

The "Best Friend" analogy, is right on.

Here's the repeat button, fellas: 10:34