Thank you Dr Cloud!!!!! How I wish my family including my now 95 year old Mum and only sister would understand this. My safe place to land is no longer. I have been trying for years to explain MS which affects me dramatically and triangles in families where chronic illness exists as the social worker in me naively thought if I just explain what seems to be going on it would change things. No! My sister just said there is no evil triangle! There is sadly... and much gas lighting but I just woke up from one of your talks on that subject at Easter time this year. I said he day to my Mum I feel like I am hitting my head against at a brick wall trying to tell you. She said you go on and on and on about the same thing! Then I read Proverbs 10:19 and this was many months ago and I heard God saying to me ... stop trying with your words! Now your teaching which is brand new to me and I am waking up in a life changing way! My MS is worse and last month I ended up in Emergency and for the first time in my life I said my contacts to call only if it became life threatening and sadly I meant it. My Mum always talked about the bosom of the family but I said I am not feeling that Mum because of xyz. She won't hear and sister ... well so painful but I feel strangely better and have felt invisibke, disregarded and disrespected for too long. My Mum says always now I was feeling good until you called... I was just... I asked her to stop this but now she just hangs up. I have shocking disbelief as this cannot be happening. I am sad and health worse and single. So many losses and 60 :( My Dad died years ago five years before my diagnosis. I am struggling physically and now financially with inflation and more needs but stronger in my Faith and reliance on Christ as I believe He has been counseling me with his eye upon me (Psalm 32:8) and has been my prayer and I discovered you Dr Cloud and I trust He will continue to walk with me in my fear and the unknowns ahead. I do feel stronger in deeper understanding! I've gone on and on :)) but that is ok right?!!!! Yes I feel a safe place here to say this! Thank you! Perhaps I should check out boundaries. me. ! A new day is dawning... K in Canada

Wow you have just described exactly what happened to me just recently. 😊 But I am happy to say I have not given into their tactics, God must have helped me somehow in that moment.

Not requried to justify how I am feeling is an awesome state of mind ! For each individual !

Thank you Dr. Cloud. This affirmed what I was thinking my husband does and, yes, he likes to turn it around so it becomes about me. He has judged my therapy sessions, as I just found out, some are good and some are not good. He has no involvement in my therapy sessions and therefore has no right to judge what is working or not working without any knowledge and I told him so. But, you know, he has to turn it around that it is somehow about how he says is going on. I have CPTSD. He doesn't support me in any way during this, but is ready to blame me for how he feels. I know that you know what that entails and I will leave it at that. I am learning to stop the conversation if I see it headed in the wrong direction.

I do believe each individual owns their own feelings . If asked , or informed that a individual would prefer me to interact with them in reasonable way ... not an issue ... if there's a on going personality clash ... perhaps it's best to avoid each other ... respect should be a two way street ... I enjoy living single ... to each their own ... your freedom to be you also includes my freedom to be free from you & vice versa ...

Thank you for your insight and encouraging posts .Yes so true . I never knew anything about gaslighting and narcissistic abuse till I was the victim of it about 7years ago and it lasted about 5 years , almost destroyed me . But thanks to the Lord I survived but still healing from the effects of it.🙏

I have such a dislike for emotional warfare period ! My mother was a master of emotional manipulation ... she also suffered from emotional disorder & was hospitalized for it ... mental illness is what it was called back than ... growing up around her was eye opening ... She did her best to emotionally hurt me as a child ... & I was emotionally teased beyond measure as a child by grown ups because I wore my emotions on my sleeve .. I was emotionally provoked now called gaslighted to the point of actually violent behavior .. & some said I'd never make through the Army training .. I did .. I discovered what it meant to have self control .. by means of self governing ... I learned to be aware of what level my emotions are at .. even as my emotions run in my minds back ground ... elevated emotions can be dangerous the higher the level the less rational thought seems to take place ... it's so much easier to deal with emotions when it's not screaming for relief ... elevated emotions for me is like different levels of poison ... self control with the emotional level at it's low point is a wonderful feeling ... I really dislike emotional warfare .. I don't want to be around those who select it ...

I can't rap my mind around it!!! It's unbelievable

SO. GOOD. Thank you (!!!!!!)

Thank you, this makes so much sense

We do, however, have a problem of epidemic level of people believing that how they “feel” equals fact. At times, just because one feels a certain way doesn’t make it the truth.

Some folks select to prick another's emotions to drive them away ... in stead of articulating they don't want to be bothered right than & there ... turning up the emotional heat to persuade them to select leave me alone ...

Wow I needed this today

Idk if I've ever known anyone like that . I know I NEEDED someone so bad to help for a couple days and let me recuperate ame tell I was going to be ok... And Oh oh!! Father God Thank You Holy Spirit our comforter gave me a thought and started laughing 😂 😂 so hard and long oh my stomach was hurting and when I stopped I rebuked satan and spoke life over myself. "I TOLD YOU satan! I AM A CHILD OF GOD! You cannot have me! " Or my family! In Jesus name Amen." That would happen about 4 more times during those 8 years. ALL GLORY AND

Thank you🌟🌟my npd sister always gaslights, especially when she’s losing control of me😫

They IGNORE me when I told them I have HEPATITIS C

What would you do? My niece had a neglectful and abusive childhood. As much as I wanted to take them in, she was bonded to her parents. Anyways, she’s in her early 20s and all I wish for her is to learn not to be like her parents. So we had a conversation about love life, and it was scary to hear that she wants a boyfriend who’s like her dad. That’s when I realized that I am witnessing trauma bond. It was a red flag and so I subconsciously picked her brain on why. She got offended and I was sad that I couldn’t help her see the truth. At what point do you step up and try to help your love ones see the truth, or do you always let them learn the hard way? Where’s your boundaries and what worked for you?

Is it possible that a person that gaslights realizes they do it and able to overcome it?

Respectfully, as a counselor of many years (over 40) it seems the concept of gaslighting is now being used to defend some very sick, un-scriptural thinking. The imbalanced, even long time Christians are not facing their conflicts and issues with truth, but leaning on the argument that everyone is gaslighting them when they confront devilish or flesh oppositions to scripture. The persons, their families, counselors, Pastors, and friends who are trying to help those who are out of Christ's ways to see and understand their sinfulness and violations of God, self and others are simply accused of gaslighting whenever they disagree with the violators control tactics, views, will and ways. Gaslighting has become part of the defense against truthfulness, self-examination and change. The devil's really craftily twisting this one and putting roadblocks in the way of truth, even God's Holy Bible truths. Those walking in the light stand accused of gaslighting when they share what is written in Holy Bible pages and the person who really needs to see Christ's light stands in darkness and deception using this. You can't set boundaries with these deceived because they are in denial, defensive, and reason there is not a justifiable reason for any truthful claims; you can't share Biblical truths and principles as they reason you're simply trying to convince them of things they have chosen to accept as truth even though they are not and they conclude you are simply among the gaslighting conspirators . It's amazing to see this erroneous argument against truth unfolding. Can you please share more about how to draw them away from using the "You're gaslighting me" as a defense argument every time their sick thinking, fleshly actions and behaviors are brought to light ?