Want More From Someone? DON'T CHASE & Do This Instead...

Want More From Someone? DON'T CHASE & Do This Instead... | Matthew Hussey

Рет қаралды 872,423

Жыл бұрын

Download For FREE: The Most Important Questions You MUST Ask Your Partner here! - bit.ly/3dWyB2d
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Make sure you check out the full interview I did with Matthew Hussey right here! - • The MAJOR RED FLAGS In...
On Today's Episode:
Ladies, we are the boss at creating a story about a person before we even have the first date. This leads us to drama, disappointments and feeling totally blindsided often for situations we could’ve avoided had we done this one thing.
Matthew Hussey is masterful in how he delivered massive truth bombs about men and dating to help women better manage expectations and avoid heartbreak. His KZfaq channel is clearly a fan favorite with close to 3 million subscribers and almost half a BILLION views on his content.
This bite sized nugget is packed with all the truth some of us really needed to hear today. Matthew lists the 4 Stages of Importance in starting a potential relationship, and highlights our special skill for creating stories when we’re dating and the trouble that really causes.
Let’s stop creating stories and jumping to conclusions and start doing this instead.
“If the reaction is hysterical, it’s historical” -Unknown
QUOTES:
“Instead of watching a story unfold, we’ve created the story before it’s happened .”
“Instead of going in with a curiosity, we go in with a conclusion.”
Follow Matthew Hussey:
Website: www.howtogettheguy.com/
KZfaq: / gettheguyteam
Instagram: / thematthewhussey
Facebook: / coachmatthewhussey

Пікірлер: 738

@LisaBilyeu Жыл бұрын

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

@BunnyOfThrones 8 ай бұрын

I know a man that still wants to marry a "woman" that cheated on him with 3 different guys. I dont understand anything.

@esmediamond 8 ай бұрын

girl ever heard of cultural appropriation?

@katiethepro 8 ай бұрын

Don't worry Lisa. We can hide in plain sight anywhere - just kidding xx;-)

@Melanin_so_sweet 4 ай бұрын

Exactly!

@peaceofmindofpeace1650 2 ай бұрын

@@BunnyOfThrones 😢 bless him

@charlieaugust1715 9 ай бұрын

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and move on

@allenie5910 8 ай бұрын

Sounds simple but hits deeper 🤗

@Gm36909 8 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤👏👏👏👏Short and deep

@happym3008 8 ай бұрын

life is not personal m took years to get it Ppl just do what is good for them Its always about them Let it go

@keritho5578 8 ай бұрын

😂

@PeterPan-je1oq 8 ай бұрын

@@allenie5910your so beautiful

@outroseok Жыл бұрын

it's crazy how much power a man you didn't even know 3 weeks ago can have over your emotions and mental health.... I was fine before I met him, I'll be fine without him.

@tiffanyyisrael7989 11 ай бұрын

It's crazy.

@clip012 11 ай бұрын

Don't be like me. I let it slide for 14 years, until one day in 2021 he made it clear he will not marry me. I was so heart broken, I cried for 2 years. Only now, getting back to dating scene, I am learning knowledge on relationship I could find now. Trying to do it the right way this time. But still emotionally I have mini heart break here and there. This kind of video, make me not stray from the right path. If there is one thing I learned from 2 years of crying, is that I don't die from heart break. I will be fine.

@jesscateyesquad 11 ай бұрын

I have been with my 18 years. I marriage it sucks

@mitchalvarez3038 11 ай бұрын

Exactly the situation I'm in now and same thinking..😂😊😢

@fmckenzie106 10 ай бұрын

I want divorce

@nikevabrown6614 Жыл бұрын

Men are simple. Men go after women they want with true intention. If a woman is confused about where she stands with a man that’s all she needs to know. Confusion means he’s not interested….period! Men do not need help pursing women they ACTUALLY want. Take heed!

@Nikki..... Жыл бұрын

take into account the love bombers. they make you think that they're so into you and love you but when they get you and you've fallen for them, it all changes. it needs to be consistent.

@WernTheDRUID Жыл бұрын

You don’t know a single thing about human psychology do you.

@TheConsummateArtist Жыл бұрын

Problem is, the confusion is really a sign within the woman that she has issues she needs to look at and be honest about. Sometimes we create our own outcomes in relationships by being jealous, confused, overthinking, reading too much into a man's actions - but the first question a woman must ask is: why do I feel this way? ... If she looks deeper into that question and sees that the man's actions are inconsistent or questionable, that's one thing. But what if she's actually acting from her own subconscious fears, doubts, and past relationship trauma and putting that interpretation on the man's actions?

@nikevabrown6614 Жыл бұрын

@@TheConsummateArtist very valid points here!! Thanks for sharing.

@ag197906 Жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this as painful as it may be. Thank u

@gulpari8222 11 ай бұрын

If he wants you, he’ll make sure you know. If he’s playing around and making you feel confused, he isn’t serious with you.

@nimfall 11 ай бұрын

wrong he is testing you

@Thriftyabundance 11 ай бұрын

Explain. Please.

@Thriftyabundance 11 ай бұрын

@@nimfall explain

@nimfall 11 ай бұрын

@@Thriftyabundance if woman are chasing rich and handsome man then they will not take you seriously

@nikevabrown6614 9 ай бұрын

@@nimfall and why should a woman deal with being tested? Who has time for games?

@kaylaxx2037 11 ай бұрын

Heavens!! Ladies, all we need to remember is: if a man likes, you will know it. If he doesn't, you will be confused. It is that simple.

@jendabekCZ 7 ай бұрын

As a man I am telling you it isn't. There are many reasons why a guy can struggle to be clear with his feelings and telling you directly what he wants.

@serimanulusoy6511 5 ай бұрын

@@jendabekCZgood to know 🙏! Thank you !

@abhishek2026 3 ай бұрын

you are stupid in your thoughts.

@lifewithjesseneemachase5404 2 ай бұрын

@@jendabekCZwhat are some of the reasons?

@jendabekCZ 2 ай бұрын

@@lifewithjesseneemachase5404 Low self-esteem, shyness, fear of rejection, the presumption that he will impress with disinterest, insecurities, phobias...

@kaicanyonellis Жыл бұрын

2:30 "Instead of watching the story unfold, we've created the story before it's happened." That's fire right there.

@sassenachdragon Жыл бұрын

Ain’t that the truth?? I’ve had these conversations go through my head when a guy cancelled on me, I held it in and lo and behold he reached out later that evening (it was prime time and he was talking to me). So yeah the conversations you have going into hyperdrive in your head can drive you nuts!! His reason for cancelling was real and we’re planning to make up for that date this weekend. But like Matthew suggested I’m leaning into the building we’re building not the narrative in my head and we’re getting closer!!

@kaicanyonellis Жыл бұрын

@@sassenachdragon that's great to hear! Always trying to get better about that myself. Good luck to you on building your building together!

@mihaelagadinceanu977 11 ай бұрын

True

@Radeo 8 ай бұрын

Young people have the luxury of coming to such conclusions as "watch the story unfold"...because they have time to watch the story unfold. Then when the young who have "watched the story" unsuccessfully unfold several times already have become older, they experience less and less the sense of "watch the story" unfold, and more and more some sense of a biological imperative to "get this done".

@noticeyourneighbor8649 3 ай бұрын

Yesssss! 🔥

@og6920 Жыл бұрын

How about instead of "reading into things" or overthinking and worrying about what the other person is thinking or doing or feeling, we just be honest with each other. Jesus christ, the games people play.

@Jegebruikersnaam Жыл бұрын

Thing is.. most men promise a lot but lie.

@hawkeyesonthewallwatchmanf9032 Жыл бұрын

And you couldn't say that without cursing God, hmmm

@Lina-cy2yc Жыл бұрын

in theory. I've tried all the ways. Was honest and open and the truth is.. old and simple as that: if he's into you he is, and he will find the way to be be with you. If he isn't, you can find million of reasons, and that's not gonna change the fact he's not into you. Also most of the ppl are not ready for being super open. I think as adults we've developed more subtle ways of telling ppl things, and it doesn't have to in the verbal ways.

@elisahrehard4395 Жыл бұрын

@@Jegebruikersnaam then they’re not the right man for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

@pinacolada1393 Жыл бұрын

People want to have someone on the side while they wait for someone better. When playing the field you must keep your guard strong.

@missykasi8248 9 ай бұрын

When I met my husband I literally "interviewed" him to see if we were compatible. Values, beliefs, moral standards are what keeps you together through all of life's difficult moments.

@user-ej5jc5dk1e 4 ай бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@shellyjohnson7964 Ай бұрын

May I have a copy of ‘said interview’?😅

@Z-gg3fc 15 күн бұрын

We all need to do this , why waste time not having these important conversations . See it’s her husband now, Months later you realize you guys are not a match. Need to know before proceeding if you are compatible. I’m trying now to ask more questions. ❤

@BugDrivenExplorer Сағат бұрын

Could you share these interview questions😅

@cherylross393 10 ай бұрын

If a man wants you,you'll know.....period if not you're not the one!😮😢 Don't chase people who are going away have some respect for yourself. It hurts but chasing isn't the answer

@Joshualuv13 11 ай бұрын

I find as a woman that often guys give mixed messages because they throw u enough attention to get u into bed, but then not enough for pursuing a relationship, which becomes clearer as it unfolds but gives one hope initially.

@juliafisher5844 10 ай бұрын

No change there then!

@osolvholts 9 ай бұрын

🎯

@tabbylove86 7 ай бұрын

Yeah

@emj850 6 ай бұрын

It's not about the man here in this case it's about women knowing what they want and not tolerating mixed messaging the clearer you are with yourself the better and healthier it will be

@tinyking11 2 ай бұрын

💯‼️

@Swim234 7 ай бұрын

I learned the hard way that if a man is Going back and fourth with you. One day he’s interested and the next day it’s like your invisible the reason behind that is because the person who he really wants has now become available and your on the sidelines. When he was available for me it’s because the girl who he was actually truly pursuing had rejected him for that moment and I was “available” men are simple. They go for what they want and use the one (if you allow it) who is craving there attention. Not all are users but that confusion and complicated situation I found myself in the answer was truly crystal clear. Guys don’t offer confusion to the woman they truly want to be with.

@moka91808 9 ай бұрын

all my romantic relationships have been built on stories, fantasies of what I want the other person to be and not reality and its taken me 40-years to realize this. This was a great video to show me the process that relationships need to go through to become something real. Thank you!

@anitachojnacki4512 9 ай бұрын

Mee TOO I'm not writing the story anymore....come and hunt me c%$#@

@elgajones7028 8 ай бұрын

Exactly

@priyanarain5705 6 ай бұрын

O my goddddddd exactly!!!!😢

@catharinamariatheresia1626 3 ай бұрын

Hahaha, I have the same issue.

@kathyokelley9916 10 ай бұрын

Love this, "if my reaction is hysterical, then it is historical". Stay present, let the real story unfold, without filling in the details. Simple truths can change everything!!! Love this!

@kisskiess 8 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

@jessicasinclair323 8 ай бұрын

Come from nothing with no expectations. Dance in actual face to face conversations you have with them, (not on the phone or on social media). Expect nothing and enjoy being present in the moment. Leave your fantasies behind. If you both truly appreciate and enjoy the present interaction with one another, you may very well become platonic friends which is so much more rewarding than sexual relationships in general

@stinabo77 Жыл бұрын

Good points and so true! Have to keep these stages in mind. 1. Admiration 2. Mutual connection/ chemistry 3. Commitment/ both saying yes 4. Compatibility ❤

@cindys2995 11 ай бұрын

I agree with his steps, but I would rearrange it a little. I see no reason to commit and then assess compatibility. I need to check for that EARLY. Admire, compatible, then connect, then commit, for me.

@cheekymonkeygirl3378 11 ай бұрын

Most people have problems with commitment and compatibility because they have a hard time committing and they want to do their own thing so they are not compatible.

@svilenaninetta9838 11 ай бұрын

We had it all but not commitment from his side.

@Enjoycapetownbysara 10 ай бұрын

@@cindys2995me too! But sometimes you don’t have the entire picture of compatibility before commitment

@cindys2995 10 ай бұрын

@@Enjoycapetownbysara True

@clip012 11 ай бұрын

5:02 slow down the story happening inside the brain by valuing the work that has been done in real life, don't value the potential. 5:38 4 stages of importance in potential relationship. 1) Admiration- not important, 2) Mutual Connection/ Chemistry- not important, 3) Commitment, saying yes to be in a relationship- not important, 4) Compatibility- important

@thechildlessmillennial1538 5 ай бұрын

Actually he said stage 3 is important

@Frederiekje221 4 ай бұрын

All true - untill you meet a borderliner.

@hajji1509 3 ай бұрын

They are all important surely. Because for example if you have compatibility only without chemistry (sexual compatibility) that's just a friendship. That's guaranteed hurt down the line.

@nscales20 Жыл бұрын

I’m just glad I’m not the only who does everything he described. I thought I was so crazy. I’ve done this all my life and I would feel so ridiculous.

@janataylor6869 11 ай бұрын

I know, right?! 😅 Even some men do this

@staejaye1910 10 ай бұрын

Same

@aeliciaallen8268 9 ай бұрын

Me too❤

@kirbykipling9515 9 ай бұрын

Don't feel ridiculous. And you're not crazy. When you know better, you do better. It's called growth with what you go through.

@BreNichols94 8 ай бұрын

I let my ex leave and live his life and I went on to live mine. I learned to accept that I may be alone for ever and became ok with that. 2-3 yrs later, he came back and showed tremendous changes in behavior from the way he was treating me before. Turns out he went and dated someone much worse than me and realized how good he had it with me. Now he’s doing everything right.

@catharinamariatheresia1626 3 ай бұрын

How are things now? Still good?

@dustymauve8636 3 ай бұрын

I wish you all the best! Does he still carry on with his good behavior or was it just hoovering? Please let me know!

@Z-gg3fc 2 ай бұрын

Oh hell no! He went around sticking his Thing in other women and he’s probably not a good man so nobody wants him and he decided to come crawling back to the sucker that would only take him. Now he’s Doing everything right?? After he is done having his fun, that will not last. Don’t be so pathetic

@user0m170 2 ай бұрын

This is wild... 2-3 years is a long time. How did you feel about that? I'm so intrigued.. Most people / general advice I find lean on saying you should never take people back and there's all this weirdness and shame about it. But I'm such a romantic and dunno how to feel about this. Also had on and off relationship drama All the best to you!

@Z-gg3fc 2 ай бұрын

@@user0m170 if your okay with knowing he felt like you were not good enough for him in the first place and went around with other women and sleeping with them and Then came back to you? Low self esteem. Have some respect for yourself. Also he will do it again guaranteed. I would never even take back an ex unless it was a shorter period with no body else involved.

@cynthiagomes2979 9 ай бұрын

I'm going to wait on who God has for me. It will happen the way God wants it to. I will stay in my place as a woman, a child of God. He directs ALL of my paths. Our paths will cross when God wants them to.

@tamasapatra397 9 ай бұрын

❤

@charlottebruce979 9 ай бұрын

I did that. It took me 20+ years to find him, but all good things in God's time.

@cynthiagomes2979 9 ай бұрын

@@charlottebruce979 I know!! 27 years for me!! I know who he is. In God's PERFECT timing!!

@ElizabethReyes-np1kq 9 ай бұрын

My friends tell me, I have to do my part, God s not going to put your future husband right on front of you, you have to act as well. But I know God can make him happen just like that! Nothing is imposible when we believe in his power .❤️

@cynthiagomes2979 9 ай бұрын

@ElizabethReyes-np1kq yeah, your friends are directing their own path. Making decisions for themselves. Walking with God and allowing him to direct your paths doesn't involve making decisions for yourself. Listen to your spirit.

@i.I.j 9 ай бұрын

I am seeing this guy and we have a amazing connection that we both have noted. I've been celibate for a few years we did the "dance" amazing. After I felt a little confused on what "this" was and I might have traded in my celibacy for uncertainty. Well without me even mentioning anything( as it's my problems) he told me how he felt, he made his feeling completely clear for me. We now know what it is❤❤. When a man wants something with you he will make his feelings, plans and desires very clear.

@TeenWolfFan1011 5 ай бұрын

Wow, that’s exactly what I’m dealing with as well. I am seeing a guy, I have also been celibate for a few years. We have an amazing connection and have a lot in common. Then we did the deed on the second date and I also feel confused and I also feel like I should have waited and that the ball is really now in his court since I gave it up. Now I feel as if he is not talking to me as he used to, there are really no “good mornings” anymore. So it feels like he is distancing himself from me.

@catharinamariatheresia1626 3 ай бұрын

How is it now?

@ritaportus 2 ай бұрын

O@@catharinamariatheresia1626

@joannegomes5099 8 ай бұрын

I feel a weight lifted.. by this message.. I want a man.. but he does not want me... I have been building my and driving my self nuts story.. . thank you for this message

@amanac5403 7 ай бұрын

I was needing to hear those words today. Stop chasing and be the chased. Thank you ♡

@guitarsoundsaround Ай бұрын

Yeah, hard pass. That’s a time waster. Get out there and chase ladies! One will want your company eventually.

@insightful_fairy8743 9 ай бұрын

If men were just honest and up front with how they feel then women wouldn’t have to wonder all this! Lol

@sallybella8824 9 ай бұрын

But they are! If they want you you will know and feel it in security and stability. If they don't you will feel confusion. That's it.

@brennam954 6 ай бұрын

@@sallybella8824If they play games with you, love bomb you, then you won't necessarily know. It's only something that's revealed with time.

@888alp 4 ай бұрын

Yes, this is true

@indigenouscuisines1446 11 ай бұрын

Dont want to chase and dont wish to be chased. Learn and Practice self love is most important for women I feel..❤

@Inca1122 9 ай бұрын

Better than any therapy. Listen on repeat!

@o_m8717 11 ай бұрын

This guy is just so WISE. Thank goodness for his existence!

@samaracharlotin 9 ай бұрын

I unfortunately just did this. I went on a trip to a different state and although the trip wasn't for this guy, I intended to hang out with him AND we planned to see each other, yeah well he completely ghosted me and it was our 2nd time hanging out (it legit was an amazing time and he was acting like I wanted as in it was a dream ) and its crazy bc I legit created this story in my head before even meeting him. I pursued him instantly and although everything went perfect both times we hung out, he only saw me one day out of the trip. I was so heartbroken but then when I got back home like this is our 2nd time hanging out and yes he was definitely going along with telling me he feels the same and blah blah, but I calmed down when I got back home after blaming myself for so much. moral of the story, just realized I shouldn't of romanticized so much on this person when we barely even know each other. my toxic trait is wanting these things so bad, so already creating a script of our lives and then get heartbroken when this person doesn't think the same, lol yes im insane but im a lover girl and when I feel the connection its like the thing to me. idk crazy/ Matthew soooo spot on, needed to vent this out.

@burnerinsyd 9 ай бұрын

I hear you! That's me too unfortunately. And even though I'm aware of it now I still fall in the same trap. I just claw myself out of it faster now.

@shaunajones3244 9 ай бұрын

No your not. I used to do this too. I learned my lesson though.

@y.e.9907 9 ай бұрын

Did this as well lol

@CrockyDile15 8 ай бұрын

I'm like this too girl 😂 I realized I need to chill, and simply let the man lead.

@cynthiakila1161 11 ай бұрын

He’s answering illogical questions logically . This is truth. ❤

@julietruesdell.371 10 ай бұрын

Love is a choice to do everyday..it's not selfish or single minded..settle disputes quickly before the wrong outcome effects to the point of not continuing and growing..nurture each other..love all his or her insecurities and fears..please communicate!

@tinyking11 8 ай бұрын

This interview was amazing. He’s spot on. I’m definitely the one that overthinks or catches feelings from great chemistry & conversation bc I don’t connect with too many men. It’s rare for me.

@Hmy87 8 ай бұрын

Same for me. I feel weird sometimes around other people because I can’t move on easily as I can’t see many people. It’s so overwhelming for me.

@gumaber_ 2 ай бұрын

Same for me. It’s hard to connect so I get attached so easily when it happens.

@tinyking11 2 ай бұрын

@@gumaber_ You just described me. I’m picky af when it comes to men but when I find someone I’m actually attracted to on all levels I become head over heels bc it rarely happens. In the end I always get played or love bombed. Now I’m currently dating men I’m not attracted to or don’t like bc I always benefit in the end. 🤦🏽‍♀️😐 I hate dating bc it never works out for me long term. The feelings are never mutual. Most mehn I’m attracted to only Lust for me they don’t genuinely like me.

@gumaber_ 2 ай бұрын

@@tinyking11 i was a victim of love bombing too. I hope you find the right guy for you so you can be with someone you really like.

@tinyking11 2 ай бұрын

@@gumaber_ Thanks so much for the positivity I receive it. I wish the same for you as well. 🙏🏽❤️

@cindys2995 11 ай бұрын

Experience has taught me that COMPATIBILITY is FIRST or SECOND. Why get involved before that? ASK tough questions and do that work EARLY! Once you're in, you'll be way more likely to ignore flags!

@Jackyguty 9 ай бұрын

This is soo true . You’ll definitely ignore the red flags cuz you want to hold on to the relationship

@emj850 6 ай бұрын

Compatibility will never be first because in order to start talking to someone you have to have the initial attraction

@cindys2995 6 ай бұрын

@@emj850 I'm not talking about attraction. Obviously you have an initial interest. I said what life has taught ME about getting involved further.

@joancarol1970 11 ай бұрын

This video will help us all to grow up and to stop hurting ourselves

@starbright2683 10 ай бұрын

I am SO tired of hearing people say that if something hurts your feelings, it is because you must have unresolved trauma in your childhood. How about being ghosted by someone you are consistently talking to, dating, and possibly sleeping with, at any point in a relationship, is traumatic and horrible! Stop invalidating the feelings, experiences, and expectations of women!

@desi9358 10 ай бұрын

Well said

@RomyaRana 9 ай бұрын

Th3 other day i was thinking, These idiotic sitcoms like Himym and friends has destroyed the idea of GRIEF, these mofos are laughing among their friends, hopping in bed with someone in the next episode. Real life sucks! In real life being apart from someone hurts like shit, as if someone has punched you in the guts, you cry, cant think or work properly... idiotic hollywood dramas. Fck em

@sallybella8824 9 ай бұрын

Invalidating the expectations is logical and reasonable when the expectations are based on pure fantasy. It's called grow up.

@takentoday 8 ай бұрын

Both of those things can be true. Being attracted to someone who isn't confident about how they feel with you can be a trauma response. It's not invalidating to say that - it still matters and it's still important wherever it comes from

@winspiff Ай бұрын

You are saying that someone who already was invested in building suddenly left. Being upset about that isn’t hysterical, it is understandable and valid. Hysterical would be if someone you’d never met ghosted you in the first date, and you were upset for weeks mourning what could have been. That’s what he’s talking about.

@sheilazimmerman3905 9 ай бұрын

I began to value the friendship more than anything, and I’m so happy I did🌸

@anonanon8974 8 ай бұрын

Holy moly. This was terrifying to watch. Mind-blowingly accurate.

@CrystalDatingCoach 5 ай бұрын

Love is not what you say but what you do.

@priscillarose_ 10 ай бұрын

On point we create a story line and when it doesn’t happen frustration follows and because we expected something.

@aeliciaallen8268 9 ай бұрын

😂❤ true indeed

@angiep8217 9 ай бұрын

That was me

@naomydorah8773 8 ай бұрын

❤

@tinydream 8 ай бұрын

Expectations kill joy

@virginiastrother4098 3 ай бұрын

Dudes smart. He knows exactly what’s up. Expectations are a killer. It’s really this simple… if they want you they make it happens.

@patriciapeeters7 11 ай бұрын

Selflove is key!!!!!

@agnesr.4664 9 ай бұрын

Four stages of a relationship (around 5:20): 1. Admiration. 2. Connection/Chemistry (mutual admiration). 3. Commitment (Saying yes to each other). 4. Compatibility. -> This was a revelation to me. I guess, I am at maybe stage 2 - now we need to see if it is worth moving forward. And it would not be a DRAMA to decide if that is not. Basically, my take from this: Don't write the story before it happens by forbidding things to develop without pressure. THANK YOU, Matthew. There's clearly wisdom in what you are saying about this topic. Appreciate it.

@rehemaparmena4714 8 ай бұрын

Shouldn't stages 3 and 4 be switched ? I think compatibility should come before committment.

@otaku4Gaijin 6 ай бұрын

@rehemaparmena4714 Right. Or more accurately, compatibility (I), commitment, compatibility (II). There are some things we cannot know without actually taking risk and being in a relationship with a person; however, many do-or-die questions regarding values, beliefs, lifestyle, past relationships, upbringing (attachment style), mutual future direction in life should be known before commitment is made. Then, go from there to see whether you're TRULY compatible.

@Sfw20brinoue Ай бұрын

When he got to stage 2 he said he feels too emotionally into me he wants less meeting time and less talking time to get clarity

@nikkileader3995 9 ай бұрын

SO much gold here and understanding attachment styles to work alongside this is Platinum!!

@jadestewart7499 9 ай бұрын

Honestly I think if you feel desperate for a relationship this is what happens, you over think it

@sandramirekuayim1161 9 ай бұрын

I strongly agree cos what more could make us victims of such unpleasantries...

@c.h.5559 5 ай бұрын

Spot on ! This bloke is as super into m after 1 meet up .., he didn’t even ask me Q so he doesn’t really know me .. I would think I looked attractive to him without trying hard I mean . Then as the week progressed I felt uncomfortable as I couid tell in his communication he was sold / done thinking I’m all in ( even tho he didn’t actudlly check in with me) and he didn’t show any effort to plan ahead .. kept asking me to Calll and drop in .. kept asking wjtnni finish woek wooah dude .. invest more !!!! I can be trim if to help too straightforward but he wasn’t reading my little signs . I was getting stressed . it ended up resolving unexpectedly easily when I did something important to me but usually wouidnt so early … I asked if he’d listen to a little something on health & wellness I was listening to that was fascinating and I’d like to share . I said in text that health is trying to be the most healthy and hsppy is important to me …. He said “ good luck to you “ and dropped communication 😮. Well clearly he wants to keep drinking and regularly visiting the pub snd run from any hint of health .., so not my guy !! I’m glad I was “me “upfront

@spleenog 24 күн бұрын

What to do when no sign of a relationship comes to you though? You end up looking for it.

@Jenna-op9lx 8 ай бұрын

If the reaction is hysterical then it is historical. That is brilliant, Matthew! ❤❤❤

@joowen3266 8 ай бұрын

This is so good! The four stages is wonderfully clarifying. Thank you!

@XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO25 9 ай бұрын

I need to listen to this everyday

@DayaMcCarthy 4 ай бұрын

This man gives amazing knowledge that doesn't just apply to romantic relationships but friendships as well

@k-luffydev1686 5 ай бұрын

I know its a long shot in the dark for anyone to read this or for him to come back to me, i had a rough childhood and never felt safe or seen neither from family nor friends, when i met and he hugged me for the first time in my 32 years or living i felt it, i felt safe and that i could let go and be who i want to be, and he treated me with utmost care and gave me all the hints he wants to be with me, but only to say lets end it before someone gets hurt, i get it.. but i wish i could feel it again, i wish i could be with him but i dont want to force it, i will be fine, just a little tired.

@estellel412 9 ай бұрын

Best relationship analysis I ever heard. Thank you.

@murieljacob8588 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for your advice, Matthew! I must confess that each time I watch a video of yours I then feel content because I know now that I am doing the right things because of your advice 😊. Plus I love your accent 👍🏼

@sandramirekuayim1161 9 ай бұрын

Well sometimes we do create stories before they occur by the help of our instincts. More often than not, whatever we envisaged wasn't so far from the truth. Some men can be really toxic!

@lucianadosanjos4070 3 ай бұрын

Compatibility is so important! Couldn't agree more with Matt

@user-xv6re4ty6x 8 ай бұрын

One of the best videos of Matt! Thanks again! 😊

@DailamiPuang 11 ай бұрын

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

@peterwilliams6361 11 ай бұрын

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

@DailamiPuang 11 ай бұрын

@@peterwilliams6361 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

@peterwilliams6361 11 ай бұрын

@@DailamiPuang this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

@banganimay1526 11 ай бұрын

@peterwilliams6361 , the best thing to do is work on yourself. Remember what attracted to you in the first place.

@stellawil 7 ай бұрын

Wishing you and your wife the best❤!

@starbright2683 10 ай бұрын

It is not "insane" to feel heartbreak after three weeks. Many people get engaged or married in three months!

@queenmarissa 9 ай бұрын

Beautifully said in every way. I love your reactions Lisa you are just the cutest most authentic beautiful human. Thank you for loving us and sharing this with us ❤🙏🏻💖🥳🤗

@YGb-127 11 ай бұрын

Imo, compatability must be identified before going into commitment. Yes, you need flexibility and leniency. Just dont compromise on compatability.

@ann-mariecapaldi3909 8 ай бұрын

People who are truly are into you allows others to patiently let Devine timing to take over

@ConradKurtMorgan 8 ай бұрын

How true is this ?

@SharieFoster 2 ай бұрын

The magnificence of your clarity on this VERY IMPORTANT subject is PIVOTAL, educational and life changing. THANKYOU Matthew! And thank you, Lisa for hosting him.

@preciousmousse 8 ай бұрын

My self confidence, independence, ease with myself and my sexuality are at nuclear levels. It took a lot of working on my independence, dreams and mental health, and I can tell you that looking at things from this side, men are used to being begged for, to play games feeling confident that they are the master manipulator in the game, and, ultimately, used to being this version of themselves that wastes their own time on b*s* and ego boost. I'm not drawing any quality comparison between sexes (I've never dated women nor will), I'm just describing what I observe from the bright side. Thank you for your work, Matthew, it’s definitely been part of my journey! 🙏

@BernadethBautista-pj3hl 7 ай бұрын

I like the way his advice MATTHEW HUSSEY. His really good

@ayumisakaguchi3624 8 ай бұрын

I needed to watch this video 😂🤣🫶🏼 thank you for the content ❤

@MB-iq9ew 8 ай бұрын

such an important points discussed, great to listen and it really helps to understand certain behaviors and move on with life

@Bbbbbbb486 Жыл бұрын

I love both of y’all! Glad y’all made this collab :)

@chrisgervais2985 9 ай бұрын

I find the most beautifulest relationship to ever come is when two people are just being together instead of always getting into that duality of the Mind and be actually just present and live the moment with no expectations no attachments and let the universe bring the Beautiful blessings instead of want do and have why don't we just be have and do life would be so much simpler without any questions doubts or answers we like to complicate things so much for no reason

@alexandra2536 9 ай бұрын

Some people say we fall in love fast with specific people because of our connections from past lives.

@jennyrenaud2411 7 күн бұрын

I believe this as well.

@taytaybaby6 9 ай бұрын

I love Matthew. He has real answers and he’s very genuine.

@ConradKurtMorgan 8 ай бұрын

Most people get caught up in a situation where they fall deeply in love with someone that gives them all they’ve been looking for in a relationship, they feel that comfort and security whereas the person does not actually love them. How can you get out of such situations?

@annastone5624 9 ай бұрын

Lisa - this is a REALLY excellent question that includes important nuances! Thank you

@ConradKurtMorgan 8 ай бұрын

@annastone5624 8 ай бұрын

@ConradKurtMorgan I know it’s very painful! As Matthew says ‘whether or not this logic is true - because they are busy with work etc’ they are pulling away and the quicker we accept that the better. I think what hasn’t been touched on here, is that in some cases, esp with narcisstic people - they literally fake the whole thing because they want the attention, they want the control.. It was a major step in my life, when I realised I am not a ‘needy’ person. I just tended to go for (just talking about friendships here even) with people who ‘love-bombed’ me and then breadcrumbed me.. once I figured that out, I was much more careful. I’m so sorry you’ve been hurt. Some things I find helpful when that happens is I ask “did this person even respect me? Did this person want the best for me? Do I respect this person? Sometimes our emotions get so entangled it’s only years later we look back and think ‘Jeeze I’m not sure I even liked that person, let alone loved them’ I don’t know if that helps.. but that love you feel belongs to you, it’s who you are, that will go everywhere you go. Even if it’s painful to lose the person you were focusing it on. 🌸

@teresapesce8432 Жыл бұрын

Douglas and Zeta-Jones were first introduced in 1998.”I had been told Michael Douglas wanted to meet me,” the Chicago actress told Larry King in 2001. “I was a little nervous because I didn’t quite know what he wanted to meet me about.” Douglas and Zeta-Jones were first introduced in 1998.”I had been told Michael Douglas wanted to meet me,” the Chicago actress told Larry King in 2001. “I was a little nervous because I didn’t quite know what he wanted to meet me about.” Meanwhile, the Falling Down actor knew immediately that the duo would have a future together - but worried that a cheesy pickup line might have ruined his chances. “I said to her after about half an hour [of hanging out], ‘You know, I’m going to be the father of your children,’” he revealed during a 2016 appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show. “It sounded good, and she said, ‘You know, I’ve heard a lot about you and I’ve seen a lot about you, and I think it’s time I say goodnight.'” To correct his mistake, The Kominsky Method star sent her flowers and an apology, which seemed to work. He proposed to his love in 1999 and they said “I do” nearly one year later.

@zinedinezidane4771 Жыл бұрын

Agree all this dating tips give me anxiety.. can't we just be real and honest. Is that too much to ask. We are all too broken anyways to hold meaningful relationships it's literally a lot out here when it comes to dating.

@jarkachalmovianska7812 11 ай бұрын

Exactly all these stupid games al the time

@sandramirekuayim1161 9 ай бұрын

People are just mean, bleeding on those that didn't cut them. Cos why should mutual love be this complicated...

@Chrissy.H 6 ай бұрын

He is good. There is a reason he is top of his game.

@TheMisssy2 2 ай бұрын

It sucks that it is so true that compatibility ends many relationships...I was a day person, he was a night....I never thought anything could break us....

@paulinesimamane9968 11 ай бұрын

This guest is so on point...wisdom

@cristi8995 11 ай бұрын

Wow, this is so true. I need to listen to this like 5 more times. I give so much. Andddd it kind of bites me.

@quirkyquester Жыл бұрын

This video is life changing, thank you!

@sarahdcollins_ Ай бұрын

I never comment on videos, but this video came at a timely manner for me. Literally read my mail. Thank you

@juliewilliams9854 8 ай бұрын

OMG, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear and understand. Now I just need to put it into practice. Matthew Hussey is BRILLIANT! ❤

@ConradKurtMorgan 8 ай бұрын

@mollyjohnson6168 8 ай бұрын

Ooh my. Wow! I love the description of the castle. That just helped me to click everything into place.

@ConradKurtMorgan 8 ай бұрын

Does spirituality goes a long way in a relationship?

@louisenglish8069 6 ай бұрын

This conversation alone is exhausting

@irinen5217 9 ай бұрын

Perfect timing 🙏

@Illuminatelove36 Жыл бұрын

❤THANK YOU. Healing isn't really taught...Bandaid are the quick solution. GRATEFUL learning to Authentically heal

@user-yf1qm6hm5f 8 ай бұрын

chemistry, connection, commitment, compatibility

@olayinkacredle 5 ай бұрын

You forgot the first one, admiration

@beckytull8505 9 ай бұрын

If I go after men, I’m about 50% successful. If I don’t do anything all I get is creeps or nothing at all. I prefer making my own choices 👍

@spleenog 24 күн бұрын

Same! Or, technically you could say 0% successful.

@rosiemac2538 9 ай бұрын

Wise Words❤

@sylwiaossowska9421 9 ай бұрын

great stuff!

@Bronwnie85 9 ай бұрын

Best thing l heard all day 🙌👏🏻

@giselaromero7988 Жыл бұрын

Wow like they say you learn something new everyday!!! I probably would’ve saved my heart so much hurt if I looked at dating stages like this !!

@cynthiakila1161 11 ай бұрын

I’ve learned to love what I’m doing while I’m doing it , if it’s not here there’s no point to think about it . , the social media and txting communication only brings insecurities , , if it is, it will always be. . I’ve been told I’m selfish when I’m selfless and speak direct , but if a person is in there thoughts they are not in truth , , Don’t get me wrong Ive met people , that my body loves - and I enjoy the feeling while it’s there . . But I’m quick to separate the two . Nothing last forever, only u do 🎉

@user-wv7yi7yt2x 8 ай бұрын

Love it, great insight!!!

@user-iw6rv4hw9y Жыл бұрын

Wow this was so enlightening 😊🙏🏽❤️

@macareuxmoine 2 ай бұрын

That’s a fantastic short analysis. A situation a found myself in way too often. Thanks to both of you 🫶🏻

@helenhui8523 9 ай бұрын

Awesome explanation

@coachtammyspeaks 2 ай бұрын

OMG! If the reaction is hysterical, its historical. That is epic!

@nevenaprokic 8 ай бұрын

Great video.. I realized that I overvalued 2nd and hint of 3rd stage in early phase of my last relationship. After 5 days of great connection and time we’ve spent together (we live in neighbouring countries) He started “playing games” in messaging. Hot n cold behaviour. He was also loving and full of compliments but still provoking me in messages. I couldn’t stand that. Like he wanted to push my limits. I didn’t trust him at all and we fell apart. He was a wrong choice.

@lindagatwiri869 10 ай бұрын

Quite insightful,thank you. I now know where I need to invest my time in and that's me for now.

@anitachojnacki4512 9 ай бұрын

Soooo spot on

@bigbanktai8204 8 ай бұрын

Yes smiply put .. love is not enough. You need love and plenty more to flourish its sad but its the truth .

@khanyimasombuka1228 11 ай бұрын

"If the reaction is hysterical then its historical" wow ❤

@cheekymonkeygirl3378 11 ай бұрын

Omg, Andrew’s interpretation is spot on. I couldn't concur more. ❤❤❤ He is so amazing.

@rehemaparmena4714 8 ай бұрын

I think you mean, Mathew, not Andrew 😅

@SimplyNobel 8 ай бұрын

Great talk... Second time I have seen this one. Wouldn't it be wiser to ensure you are compatible PRIOR to committing!? Yes, it can take time to figure out if you are genuinely compatible... but a lot of that can be figured out ahead of, what I believe, is stage 4 - commitment. If you truly aren't compatible... don't commit. Hopefully, there will be less heartbreak that way. Unless you are a dreamer like me with a vivid imagination who has built the castle in stages one and two lol. May I be much wiser with the next man I fancy (easy to get overly excited when you only meet a handful of men in your life that you feel drawn to).