Headcanon that the two lost primarchs were also femboys and Malcador was not having any of the emperor's s***

“No part werewolves” *Emperor sneaks in Leeman Russ towards the end*

Still gave Horus "male pattern baldness".

Malcador canonically suggested he wanted some of them to be girls, so they would "get along" as his excuse.

Femboy: Fulgrim Vampire: Sanguinius Warewolf: Leman Russ

“You brothers - such a neat of rivalries. I warned him to make you sisters, that it would make things more civilized. He thought I was joking. I wasn’t.” - Malcador the Sigilite, a.k.a Malcador the Hero

I'm surprised by Big E being the voice of reason in this conversation.

The irony is that the half-vampire and the half-werewolf turned out to be some of the best of his sons

Malcador had a Freudian slip right there.

"Why do you want a femboy?" "It is critical to this plan that we hit every fetish we can think if between these 20 beautiful, powerful, buff men." "...Who are your sons." "Yes." "...Sure. why not. My life cant get any weirder at this point. We might as well do this."

Malcador was going to let Emps hit it if he could bear children lmao. A true friend indeed

Let me guess… the fem boy is Fulgrim isn’t it?

I like how Malcador doubts the results but not the method

Ive always imagined Malcador as the man who builds up The Emperors plans. Like the way a zoo handler treats a hyper intelligent elephant. Hes just helps guide him, helps him out agaisnt threats while gazing upon his plans.

Meanwhile the Angel of Death screaming in the timeout box...

"Why do you want a femboy?" "Variety's sake! You try to remember the names and faces of 20 children! You need to make each one distinct and marketable!"

That „Yus“ at the end there is the most relatable thing to ever be spoken by the Big E.

I think my favorite part if this was "Listen Malcador, we're going to use my DNA to make super soldiers." "...okay..." "And they're going to be the *biggest* men alive." "Excuse me?"

He made two vampires in the end, I'd argue 2 pretty close to were wolves with Luprical and Russ.

AND TWO OF THEM ARE GOTHS! MALCADOR, MAKE ONE EDGY AND THE OTHER MOODY!

That YUS was pure TTS energy

Hearing the Emperor say "ONE FEMBOY!" Almost like a command because if I was in front of the empire of humanity I'm listening to him till the ends of the earth

So the primarchs are basically the power puff girls and the warp was their chemical X?

It took Malcador 30 seconds to realize Big E wasn't suggesting they should have sex in the lab. At least not this time

It should have included Malcador's suggestion about daughters.

By the emperor this video is so hilarious😂😂0:22 especially this part, I was laughing so hard that I had a stomach ache(must be the emperor punching me in the stomach with his psychic power)(lol)

If there only 1 femboy was planned, why Sanguinius and Fulgrim fit so well in that descripcion?

I mean I can see the Emperor's logic, most of them were instructed to use every possible form of diplomacy in the great crusade, and Charm would be a large factor in how well that would've gone

Later Malcador: Why do i count 21?

Big E: Okay, heres what we got: One can be a quiet gigachad! One can be [REDACTED] One can be a femboy! One can be a salty robot nerd! One can be a speedy boi! One can be a furry! One can be a stubborn tank! One can be a crazy batman! One can be a pretty, vampire angel! One can be a cyborg blacksmith! One can be [REDACTED] One can be a sadboy bodybuilder! One can be a RTS obsessed nerd! One can be a stinky grim reaper! One can be a red, nipple-fetish mage! One can be a used car salesman! One can be a little, bald me! One can be a perpetual cinnamon roll! One can be a super edgy crow man! One can be a pair of agent twins! Malcador: ......Erda, back me up here, this is getting out of hand. Erda: Nope, this is a terrible idea and I love it. Neoth, make the furry a werewolf and I'll help.

Emperor: I want 20 beautiful buff men. Malcador: Maybe we should throw some women in the grou- Emperor: BEAUTIFUL MEN, MALCADOR!

Malcador: "why do you want a femboy?" The Emperor: "counterpoint, why DON'T you want a femboy?" 😂😂😂😂

Emperor to Guilliman and Johnson: and that's how I made you guys

Big E: "ONE FEMBOY!" and thus Fulgrim became a thing.

Malcador: Yo, Big-E, i can't handle 20 children, man. Big-E: That's not what i MEAN! Me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Malcador was vaguely disappointed big E didnt intend to smash. Can't blame him tbh

I love how the Big E sounds when he says "YUS". It's so pure and innocent, I could not have expected that out of him.

Emperor: i almost forgot, and a big black men with glowing red eyes. Malcador: o god why i have to do this?

Big E:"I want 20 sons." Malcador:"But i don't have a womb." Big E:"well, make one!" Malcador: [Insert Tony Stark Forging Scene]

"I want 20 buff men" he like me fr

*Malcador sees Fulgrim and Sanguinius* I SAID "ONE"!

"Why DON'T you want a femboy?" Best counterpoint ever. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Malcador need it's own book... the stories on that book would be WILD.

I have feeling that this is more or less the same kind of conversation that a DM has with an obstinate player and his character with a cringe-inducing background.

With that kind of orders, i can kinda understand why malcador ask "any woman?"

Ultra Intelligence. Super strength. And hyper charisma. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect warrior. But the Emperor accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: the Warp. Thus, the Primarchs were born! Using their ultra, super skills, Lion'El Jonson, [Redacted], Fulgrim, Perturabo, Jaghatai Khan, Leman Russ, Rogal Dorn, Konrad Curze, Sanguinius, Ferrus Manus, [Redacted], Angron, Roboute Guilliman, Mortarion, Magnus the Red, Horus Lupercal, Lorgar Aurelian, Vulkan, Corvus Corax, and Alpharius have dedicated their lives to fighting Xenos and anti-Imperium forces!"

I'm pretty sure they made two femboys He's called Girly-Man for a reason

"and that is how you children are born" the emperor end his bedtime story .."in the end I made vampires and werewolf" look at fulgrim "and the femboy"

big E got one of each, Vampire, werewolf, and femboy

Inaccurate emps called them son's

The idea of the Big E and Malcador being essentially oddball old homosexuals with a platonic but almost married-like relationship with Malcador being the dour pervert with slightly more forethought being moreso the father of the imperium than it's regent is fucking hilarious to me lol

Malcador: Dude, are you drunk?? E: Yeehhh.... very, very drunk.... But that's beside the point! This would be the opuss magnum of my creations. My 20 buff beautiful males will help me to get the galaxy in order. Malcador: Maybe we should talk to Constantine about this E: He'll be ok with this. I promise. Malcador: ... Ok, but can I sujest make some of them girls, just so we can sell some goodies? E: I already sujested a Femboy, take it or leave it Malcador: Ok! Ok

“And one that straight up looks like a demon with grey skin and glowing orange eyes who is massive but only hugs people.”

*in a godly booming voice* ONE FEMBOY idk why this gets me so well

Technically all primarchs are good looking. But you spend time with them preferably at a distance or not giving a shit as you watch your lord tortures a criminal

Daddy-E...

"Why don't you want a femboy?" that's a pretty good argument to be honest

big E is truly a man of culture.

Idk why but i love the YUS! - reminds me of TTS for some reason

Malcador should have just said "we should just clone Ryan Reynolds 19 times"

Lately I've been getting the feeling that the shaman souls reincarnating into one body didn't quite manage to all fit into one body, and so two conglomerate embodied souls were created - the Emperor and Malcador. Also, I've started wondering about whether there are other kinds of relationships between Malcador and E - like Malcador being a bit wiser, more patient, and more practical, and being the true power of the Imperium, and E being the brasher, more extrovert and warlike figurehead on the throne...

Bro really almost prevented fulgrims exsistence.

This is simple but genuinely clever

That "yus" got me😂

I think we all know the femboy is Lorgar. Fulgrim might be a sword swallower but god dammit he picked that bolter and threw it at the enemy. Lorgar was the one crying about "Oh let's all be friends and worship daddy" "Could we not fight boho" fing femboys

Why is Fulgrim always considered a femboy but Sanguinius isnt, the disrespect man ;-;

This is lore accurate.

Femboys are needed for diversity at the least and flavor for the fans

Technically, Vulcan is a furry. (Or rather a scalie.) Corvus is a goth, and Perdurabo is a medieval LARPer.

i think the inquisition would call this heresy. but personlly i just think its funny that the big E is this weird.

Thank the emperor Malkador agreed to the compromise. Otherwise, we might not have had Angron.

Malcador's Freudian Slip tho... My guy- D U D E

I assume that one femboy led to the birth of the Maid Marines?

Erda getting away with the Scattering is still one of my favorite bits of lore.

Poor Femboy Lorgar....

Big E is for Rapresentation One kid for every kind

“make two of them really like forts but make only one likable” “okay so you wanted two goths and now this?” “nothing sexier then a construction workers working on a fort” “OH so the werewolf one and the vampire one are like a twilight thing?” “….the fuck is a twilight”

This is probably pretty close to canon ngl

my ears it bleed XD both in pain and funny hahaahah well played you crazy va

"Why don't YOU want a femboy?" Asking the most important of questions just then and there

Malcador sounds exactly like the man with the unimpressive beard from Disco elysium.

The "yus" at the end got me.

The YUS of compromised victory

I love the yus at the end

at first i thought the vampire was Konrad Curze.... but the i remember a literal angelic vampire Sanguinius

"They must be hot and that is all that matters malcador, hot and buff and diverse. Like a hot guy party and I'm everyone's daddy! Not like that you old pervert". At this point i barely remember canon. Its just too damn true funny.

I think he's talking about angron on being the femboy

The Coffin of Roboute and his 20 sisters brought me here!

''part vampire or part verewolf'' got me

No vampires or werewolves ay? *Hides Leman Russ and Sanguinius in a cubby"

I felt that "YUS!"

Emperor: can we make uh.... Malcador: what? Emperor: a televangelist too? Lorgar: ohaaa.. ohaaaa..

The funny thing is the Emperor ended up creating a vampire (Sanguinius) and a werewolf (Leman Russ) anyway, and the two “monster” primarchs ended up being the one who were the most loyal to him. Which is quite wholesome when you think about it… just because you were created as a monster doesn’t mean that you have to be one. In fact, the Emperor trusted Leman Russ so much that he gave him and his legion the task of watching the other legions for treason and executing them should they decide to turn traitor. The femboy (Fulgrim) however, did end up turning traitor.

Loved It!

My god. I love this. The dynamic between these two are like father and son. But those father and son are ok going at it for some reason

This seems like a conversation between The God Emperor of Dune and Moneo

And this is why half his sons hated him.

Fulgrim in an anime skirt is something I could never imagine.

turns out there was a second femboy, that being roga-sanguinius

And that's how Fulgrim came into being, and we all regret that horrible decision to this day.