“We make $280,000. Why does he keep shooting down my dreams?”

Рет қаралды 78,717

Күн бұрын

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Sarah and Charlie who are in their mid 30s living in Mexico City. They are foodies who love to travel, married for 5 years and earning in the top 1% for their location. Sarah has big dreams, but Charlie holds them both back - a dynamic we learn is seen, and heard, elsewhere in their lives.
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Can’t-miss moments
00:00:00 - 1: Opening
00:05:25 - 2: Charlie starts contradicting himself
00:10:50 - 3: What's at stake?
00:16:35 - 4: The money culture Sarah grew up with
00:20:40 - 5: Money and resentment: Charlie describes his upbringing
00:28:31 - 6: Charlie finally sees the similarities between his relationship and his parents’
00:36:46 - 7: Are they really spending too much? Ramit calls Charlie out
00:37:52 - 8: Ramit breaks down their numbers
00:46:34 - 9: Charlie reveals his battle with cancer
00:53:54 - 10: Ramit tells them they're playing small
00:59:24 - 11: Ramit has never seen a CSP so conservative
01:01:14 - 12: Where are they now? Sarah and Charlie's follow-ups
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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: forms.gle/pjYMaLeThJM3z9uN6
Produced by Crate Media.

Пікірлер: 80

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize. Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube

@milivaro 9 ай бұрын

Love how the whole judgement on him living with his parents was immediately shut down. Multigenerational living is very common in other countries, just because Americans kick out their kids at 18 doesn’t mean that’s the right way to do it 😂

@whitneyw.7919 7 ай бұрын

Weird that they all want to come to America lol

@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын

ive met people who believe that the day someone turns 18 that their choices are completely all their fault. im all about someone paying for a crime they commit but its not just a living situation thing, folks act like that person isn't influenced by society or their upbringing lol

@crouse6129 Жыл бұрын

Ramit, add marriage counselor to your resume. I feel hopeful that this couple will start living their rich life.

@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын

and therapist. he is too good

@emiliedeangelis6268 10 ай бұрын

Charlie’s apnea means that his flight or flight stress response never gets a rest, even in sleep. Taking care of his health to correct that is going to be huge for his frame of mind.

@liyanaHasenin Жыл бұрын

I love this couple! Sarah is really calm, cool, collective and very very savvy. Charlie is willing to listen, answer patiently and learn from his mistakes. They are an awesome couple and I learn alot from them too!

@michellelappin Жыл бұрын

I'm rooting for this couple! It's interesting that they seemed to have a major breakthrough with you after all the therapy they've had elsewhere.

@nowuhtk Жыл бұрын

Please drop Better help as a sponsor. Not only do they under pay this pushing them to overwork therapists, they put the onus on the consumer to verify the credentials of the therapist (per the T&C) meaning you may be talking to someone who isn't even qualified to talk to you. Countless articles and KZfaqrs have reported why they should not be promoted.

@OhMaryJo Жыл бұрын

Better Help was a waste of money for me. The therapist seemed uninterested in what I said. No suggestions or anything.

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the feedback, Noah. Who would you recommend instead? I want my audience to have access to therapy as needed.

@marvinbrown1717 Жыл бұрын

@@ramitsethi Therapist here; finding a therapist can be really difficult, and truth be told, there aren't enough for the current demand. I, too, share negative feelings about BetterHelp due to reviews from both therapist and client perspective, but for some folks, that is all they can access (I'm speaking as a therapist that is private pay only/does not accept insurance). My recommendation for people that are insured and are seeking to use their insurance would be Alma or Headway.

@GingerConcierge Жыл бұрын

@@ramitsethi I also highly recommend Alma. Found two great therapists that take my insurance on there

@melhoman8302 Жыл бұрын

@@OhMaryJoI second this - Betterhelp were a waste of time and money

@robertc4783 Жыл бұрын

Ramit, this work that you do is so incredibly valuable! You are no doubt saving relationships and helping people live happier lives! Thank you!

@sarahb8073 Жыл бұрын

I randomly picked your book off the shelf at the library. Then I saw you on netflix. Then you were on Dear Shandy, my favorite KZfaq Channel. Idk if its a sign or just a triple coincidence, but I love your stuff!

@msdebbiecolbourn Жыл бұрын

My parents are 89 and 90 and they bicker about money mutliple times a day. Same it's a sitcom without the laugh track

@LoretoLala Жыл бұрын

great outcomes! loved it :)

@vl9914 Жыл бұрын

Amazing. Almost spiritual. Well done.

@lisahinkofer2085 Жыл бұрын

Charlie is so fearful of money and spending it. He’s not enjoying this wonderful freedom that they have.

@ekarmada769 Жыл бұрын

Rooting for this couple! Please do a part 2!

@isiah675 Жыл бұрын

Charlie grew on me. I think it would have been worth it to probe Sarah more as opposed to keeping his feet in the fire but it was good.

@christinewallace9251 4 ай бұрын

Good episode.

@Tikiboo11 Жыл бұрын

I view money similarly to Charlie (his old way of thought). Glad they were able to work through some of their communication about money and how it’s spent so they can enjoy themselves more in the now. This conversation shifted my own view at how and why I’m so tight with money.

@RadCenter Ай бұрын

I think many wealthy people in countries where most people aren't wealthy feel somewhat guilty, and they try to assuage the guilt by not enjoying their wealth-or at least not appearing to enjoy it. But not enjoying your wealth is actually insulting to people who don't have wealth. If you're going to have it, at least have the guts to enjoy it. Or give some of it away to those who will.

@dakine4238 Жыл бұрын

Whats the pdf link? Doesnt seem to work. Thanks for another great episode!

@paulacedillo-weerasinghe6018 6 ай бұрын

Many people live with their parents until marriage. This is true for many countries including Mexico.

@albert0F Жыл бұрын

This was a good episode, but i got irritated at the fact that they talked about all kinds of figures, but they never mentioned how much the vacation in question was. I am thinking you can get a beach house for 10-15k, so a vacation for maybe 20k. That's about 5% of their net worth according to what was put on the screen. If Ramit is worth say $10 million, is he willing to splurge with a $500k week vacation? what if he was a bit older? It seems this couple makes good money but they have not been able to save money, and the house of cards could fall really fast, thats just what it is. I am on Charlies side here. Spend $4k on a vacation, its fine. Their net worth is not up there yet where they should be splurging in grand luxury vacations, not as a Mexican if you are smart.

@lizroxy Жыл бұрын

You can rent very nice oceanfront houses in Mexican beach areas for under $500 a night. For $1000+ a night, you can get entire villas that sleep 20 with staff to cook, and clean and provide a very luxurious experience. The realistic costs of what the wife was proposing compared to their income still works out to be very reasonable.

@albert0F Жыл бұрын

Thats really weird because they used to be so very expensive. You couldnt get a beach home in Playa for less than $10k a week 10 years ago. I guess everything became more efficient and drove prices down. Either way I still think Charlie is right, they dont really have the net worth assets yet to take luxury vacations yet. Their high income must be recently aquired or else I dont know why they are still only worth 380k or something along those lines that i saw. And like I said, you have to be careful in mexico, its not easy to get back up or continue your lifestyle once you lose the peak income, you have to take every good job like its the last one you will get.

@maggielong3618 8 ай бұрын

I am now changing my contradictions! Spending 5000 on two of my kids two years ago and being resentful I’m paying the debt! Lol. I love your podcast Ramit! You helped me a lot!

@gabbihott 11 ай бұрын

I Bought your book today ! My husband and I need serious counseling 😂 I fell that I grow professionally when I’m single , or when I fell the pressure to activate my survivor mode ( we are 7 years married now) . I’m Brazilian. And my husband from honduras , and I got him out of the comfort zone of being an employee and now he is business owner , we have a great business together , but we both came from a poor background and we still don’t know how to have a rich life .

@albert0F Жыл бұрын

In Mexico you have to take care of wealth, because once you lose it its not easy to claw back up, so you have to give family a higher platform to start from compared to the US. So until you are a millionaire in assets and not going into debt then you are just basically slipping down into the other Mexico, the one without private health care and private education.

@vulpixelful Жыл бұрын

But he's married to a US citizen. They have a "backup plan" in that way

@albert0F Жыл бұрын

@@vulpixelful No thats even worse. You want to live in the US while you are young. You dont want to retire in the US without a good income or wealth. In Mexico at least you get free healthcare, in the US a medical emergency will put you on the street if you are over 60 and not a millionaire. On the other hand she is probably loaded and will inherit assets in time, but thats not part of the "american" thing.

@lucaspm98 Жыл бұрын

@@albert0F In the US you can easily get insurance with reasonable out of pocket maximums and rates. It’s a struggle for those who aren’t provided/can’t afford insurance, but it’s almost a non-factor at their incomes/wealth.

@albert0F Жыл бұрын

@@lucaspm98 but if they are not wealthy people become old they will spend all their money in hospitals and care anyway. Insurance companies and hospitals will find a way to squeeze everything out of them, insurance or not.

@eileenwatt8283 11 ай бұрын

@@lucaspm98 HiIns Insurance companies don't pay Medicare bills in the USA. They renegotiate the bill and the insurer pays it. Sometimes they pay 20% but if the bill is 1million dollars that's alot of out of pocket expenses. Hospitals will also upchart a patient with good insurance to get more money. They will do unnecessary tests.

@carlissa17 Жыл бұрын

I've been watching the show on Netflix. What I would like to know is do you have more relatable stories with people who make less than 30k a year with student loans. I would like to see that. The light seems very faint at the end of the tunnel.

@ElliePar421 Жыл бұрын

It would be nice to see some more real life (read: common) scenarios.

@sdspecto 6 ай бұрын

The sad truth is at that income the solution will alway be the same. Earn more. There are very few problems you can fix at that income level.

@msanterre 3 ай бұрын

I don't think it's so bad. Their investments aren't great for that age. If they'd like to retire early at the same income, they'll need $3-4M, which will take a while. I'm not sure what the taxes are in Mexico, but that's around 15-20 years of savings depending on returns. After that they can just do whatever they want.

@marioherrerajr5293 Жыл бұрын

Honestly I do understand charlie! Yes they make a lot of money but their net worth is not as high! Probably once they have enough investment that the interest pays for everything they need he'll be happier but he needs to know what that number is... Otherwise he'll never have enough

@msanterre 3 ай бұрын

Yeah those savings and assets aren't great for that age at that income. I have ~3x that amount at 35 and I'm still a bit stressed out I'll finish saving in time.

@_ssjim Жыл бұрын

Charlie may feel more secure once their passive income surpasses their take homes. Whereas whatever they spend now, Charlie feels it could be added to their "future". The more he saves/invest he may feel more secure. Then once they achieve a certain amount of passive, then they can decide to get off the treadmill/feeling secure. 🎉

@akshit4984 Жыл бұрын

I think I missed it but what are their professions?

@michellem1700 Жыл бұрын

I wonder the same.

@vulpixelful Жыл бұрын

Doctors in Mexico City also don't make as much as US doctors because they don't have 6-figure student debt 😂 And healthcare is almost free, and medication is really cheap compared to the cost of living. If you want to talk about Mexico vs the US talk about _all of it_

@cecilia2001 8 ай бұрын

Though I agree there are a lot of nuances, adding those details to this conversation would add little to no value when the only point they are trying to make is that you can't assume he came from a "wealthy" family due to his dad being a Dr (which is a perfectly reasonable assumption in the US)

@scorpioo 3 ай бұрын

It feels like ramit is just trying to convince them they are wealthy enough to spend …

@MrJeffoneal Жыл бұрын

We are our parents.

@Ouiyoginamaste 2 ай бұрын

Fml

@jehan9 Ай бұрын

Hell no

@Perrydaddy2000 Жыл бұрын

There seemed to be a lot of jump cuts in this episode. Anyone else notice that? So did she want to buy a beach house or just take a beach vacation?

@Beautybytracilei Жыл бұрын

I got the impression she just wanted to rent one for a vacation. And he immediately said no.

@jeromehenry4484 Жыл бұрын

I thought wife wanted to buy a beach house & also go on vacations in Europe. It's amusing that she claimed she didn't want to repeat the same spending mistakes her mother made. Wife wants to spend like a multi-millionaire but they are still far from that level of Net Worth.

@francescaruggiero7673 9 ай бұрын

wowwwww io vivo a Modena

@Bertuzz84 6 ай бұрын

I wonder if focussing on food and conveniance is the best advice in their life. Sure it seems nice in the short term. But they look like this focus on convenience isn't doing them any favors health wise.

@deborahmeek6529 3 ай бұрын

Wait a minute they are both younger then me????$&@&Whattttt

@shinniex Жыл бұрын

I wish we knew more details. I felt like this episode was a little scattered. We don’t know where the couple lives so we can’t tell what their rental cap rate is. Are they cash positive on those properties? What were their expenses for those properties. What, if any, is the state income tax. These things are all needed in order to make a good judgment on whether to sell a rental to buy index funds. Also, when they sell a property and exchange for stocks, have they considered the Capitol gains taxes? I am all for diversification but I don’t understand why they can’t just start buying info index funds with savings starting from now and built it from now on? The worst case scenario examples Ramit gave were too dramatic. If you think a natural disaster is going to occur (and again, we never know which city this couple is in) then there is no point in ever buying property! This episode lacked the consideration and explanation in the previous episodes.

@radical8039 8 ай бұрын

Give me a break! They are rich!

@smileyspoon1 5 ай бұрын

Wow Sarah is a catch. Hold on to her man. I had a similar scarcity mindset before and I had issues with my wife. I've stepped back a bit and instead of saying no, I just say that whatever idea my wife has I try to make it happen, but let her know all the financial consequences. It usually end up either my wife saying she wants to save money instead of me saying it. It's because my wife wants us to save for a home. I just let her decide based on the financial impact it will have for our goal. She understands the trade off and I'm no longer the bad guy.

@kyleolson9636 Жыл бұрын

If their investment plus fixed costs are 65% right now, that means their savings goals plus guilt free are already 35%. I'm curious what all that spending is on. Sounds like they are already living a richer life than the discussion implies, although perhaps not on what the wife wants. The discussion makes it sound like their investment % is closer to 50%.

@jeromehenry4484 Жыл бұрын

Their figures in video look impressive, but viewers need to do a little analysis. For average income earners, $43K in savings looks very impressive because that is around an average American yearly salary. However, for this couple with $282K annual income (plus bonus) that $43K is only 1.83X months as savings/emergency fund. If they target their savings for 3 - 6 months, Charles will feel more secure/less anxious. They should pause on Investments to build up their Savings. Interesting that Assets is only $46K, is that just two vehicles? It looks like most/all of Net Worth was built during their marital years, was any of this acquired during single years? If they did not bring financial assets into marriage, is it really any wonder they have been having financial fights (meaning it's new behavior to be super savers)? It's easy to point the finger at Charles because "live a little" is typical American mindset, but typical will not get them into the Top 10% NET WORTH set. Wife really needs to re-evaluate her thoughts & actions; she should be primarily concerned with keeping her husband alive. What's going to happen to all her dreams if husband is not around (or worse becomes disabled) to make the other half of their household income? Both need to drop their false pride in being "foodies"; they need to hire someone that puts them on a healthy but weight reduction diet.

@arh1234 Жыл бұрын

For their ages (guessing, not stated), & that Mexican social security will cover a smaller percentage of their current spending, I think 30%savings is entirely reasonable for them. Keeping fixed costs low allows this.

@amendezmuniz Жыл бұрын

Que atrevimiento! Ella pasar juicio sobre un matrimonio.

@excitedaboutlearning1639 Жыл бұрын

Si hablas del matrimonio de los padres de Charlie, entonces se que faltaba que se dijera en voz alta la verdad. No creo que le haya gustado a ella decir indirectamente que fuera mejor que estuvieran divorciados, pero era necesario decirlo para que Charlie entienda la relación que tiene su comportamiento hacia su esposa con el de su padre hacia su madre.

@weho_brian 11 ай бұрын

I have half the income and twice the net worth, yikes

@millygornail7529 Жыл бұрын

@IWT 🫲🏽🫱🏽✨💫💛May God & The Universe continue to richly bless you on ALL levels!! Just binged your NetFlix series and was blown away by it. Have been sharing it with all my friends & family! Will continue to search for any of your videos/podcast that pertain more to my situation now that I’ve widowed at 54y/o ans recently accepted an early retirement package. Really just wanting some sound advice on tweaking this 2nd half of my life🤓PLEASE & THANK YOU!!!