Welcome To Tumblr, It'll Just Keel You

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6 күн бұрын

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Пікірлер: 182

@PMSeymour 5 күн бұрын

Please give the baby boy a home www.makeship.com/products/cosmic-wonders-kev

@toasterhavingabath6980 5 күн бұрын

@PMSeymour 4 күн бұрын

The Toby Fox segment has been removed at the request of the OP of the thread, their post was submitted to the server without their okay on it and expressed removal, so I’m happily obliging, Sorry dudes

@emmawrites4533 5 күн бұрын

2:47 the Unibomber had a PHD in math, and was one of the greatest mathematicians around when he wasn't living in the woods and blowing up electronics stores. His work is still cited to this day in some cases. They low key do that exact thing.

@Phood54531 5 күн бұрын

(better known for other work)

@ZackShark1 5 күн бұрын

my comments bugged so this was under a minecraft video and i was so confused lmfao

@darthplagueis13 5 күн бұрын

I mean, research is still research. You can't just not credit your source, just because the source was a terrorist. Imagine writing a history paper... There's so many horrible people who were relevant.

@Phood54531 5 күн бұрын

@@ZackShark1 FBI reading "Industrial Society and its discontents": "Legally, we can't do anything, he put 'In Minecraft' after every potentially actionable statement"

@NekoChanSenpai 5 күн бұрын

Source: don't worry about it

@A-crying-mess-50 5 күн бұрын

That feeling when one of your submissions is the thumb nail

@bloodbitt 5 күн бұрын

Thubnail

@A-crying-mess-50 5 күн бұрын

@@bloodbitt I'm not saying that.

@djendjendjendjendjen9442 5 күн бұрын

Brisket

@airplanes_aren.t_real 5 күн бұрын

Username checks out

@firelordthe64th 5 күн бұрын

Congratulations then

@ratoh1710 5 күн бұрын

4:13 That is why my first step in the hypothetical 'you found a genie' scenario is hiring a lawyer and formulating all wishes in the form of contracts formulated by said lawyer

@airplanes_aren.t_real 5 күн бұрын

This is the plot of an scp

@tbotalpha8133 5 күн бұрын

My first step is talking to the genie to try and figure out what they're like as a person. That's way more useful than trying to outsmart a genie, because an adversarial dickhead genie will always find a way to screw you over. But a friendly, personable genie is more likely to respect the spirit of your wishes, and maybe even ask for clarification before granting them. Also, it's good to find out what the genie's motives are. Because if I feel the genie is being forced to grant wishes in some way, I'll probably spend the wishes on giving the genie what they want instead. Which is a win-win, frankly. Either I've done a good deed for selfless reasons, and can go about my life knowing that I did the right thing. Or, I've just made a friend of the genie, and they might be willing to grant my wishes anyway, bullshit-free.

@yapflipthegrunt4687 4 күн бұрын

@@airplanes_aren.t_real which one?

@airplanes_aren.t_real 4 күн бұрын

@@yapflipthegrunt4687 738

@ariesunderground5936 4 күн бұрын

@@yapflipthegrunt4687I’m pretty sure they’re referring to SCP-738

@sagecolvard9644 5 күн бұрын

Given that fact that Goosebumps is essentially "horror, but for kids", the tagline "it will just kill you" is so good. Like, so little kids media out there is willing to just put death front and center that answering "what's going on with this haunted house?" with "It will just kill you" is a unique point.

@user-uk4xh7dw8d 5 күн бұрын

I honestly think standing in the doorframe would NOT be peak mental health. It would be both peak anxiety AND peak depression! Like "what are people going to think of you just standing there?" "Only someone stupid world stand there" I'm so tired of seeing that tumblr post please release me from its hell

@samurexatlas7373 5 күн бұрын

@@user-uk4xh7dw8d just stand in front of your door in the sun.

@PowPowWowWowGirl-jy2lr 5 күн бұрын

If you want to be released from your hell simply move out of the doorframe

@bluelfsuma 4 күн бұрын

Actually, it _is_ peak mental health, provided there's a thunderstorm. Otherwise, it's the Mariana Trench of mental health, because, outside of precipitation and winter, you are letting. so many. _fucking insects._ into your living space. I could not care less about the people outside, when I can _feel_ the bugs whizzing past my face. So, I guess it helps me forget my _social_ anxiety...?

@solosaf6754 4 күн бұрын

IS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING FOR THE 4 YEARS THAT SCREENSHOT IS BEEN FLOATING AROUND

@samurexatlas7373 4 күн бұрын

@@user-uk4xh7dw8d solution: Stand just outside your door. People will just think you're admiring the world.

@AbadonXXX 5 күн бұрын

That moment when the home depot wasn’t being romanticized, but it was meant to be a warning due to the fey running that franchise building (when they offer a credit card, do not take it)

@ashleg8350 4 күн бұрын

Having worked at HD, can confirm. Especially when you have to deal with wrangling the fae so they don't screw up the displays. Yes, I'm talking about you, Hardware Department Brownies. Little wrench-swapping drill-bit-hiding bastards...

@FelisImpurrator 4 күн бұрын

Home Security Hotline moment

@CaptainObliviousV 5 күн бұрын

Actual Toby Fox jumpscare

@JazzTheLass 4 күн бұрын

not his actual account unfortunately u_u

@CaptainObliviousV 4 күн бұрын

@@JazzTheLass man… Does he still go by Radiation on Tumblr?

@JazzTheLass 4 күн бұрын

@@CaptainObliviousV fwugradiation, yeah

@havochellian1248 5 күн бұрын

I feel like Tumblr is like one of those viruses from Resident Evil. A lot of people are too weak to harness its full power, but then there’s people like us that become stronger because of it.

@nicholaspeters9919 5 күн бұрын

Huh, perhaps. Less pustules and weirdly colored fluids tho…

@TheYeetedMeat 3 күн бұрын

@@nicholaspeters9919what do you mean

@nicholaspeters9919 3 күн бұрын

@@TheYeetedMeat I was making reference to the gore in the RE games when someone gets infected by the viruses.

@TheYeetedMeat 3 күн бұрын

@@nicholaspeters9919 every time I interact with anything remotely related to Tumblr I gain *more* pustules and weirdly coloured fluids, not less. doesn't stop me though.

@nicholaspeters9919 3 күн бұрын

@@TheYeetedMeat Ok then, I guess it’s settled. Tumblr is very much like the RE games.

@BobBrickWall 5 күн бұрын

I also want to say that "it will just kill you" feels like it would be the tagline of a parody horror movie where the monster is killing people because murder is like the monster's 9-5 (or 5-9 if the movie is set at night) job and it just want it all to be done already.

@autumn4442 4 күн бұрын

wait, no a night shift would still be 9 to 5, you just switch the am and pm

@clockside 3 күн бұрын

@@autumn4442 When I worked nights at Walmart years ago my shifts were something like 11-7, which is kinda funny if you switch them because chain gas stations were basically the only businesses that survived after Walmart moved into town.

@crown4212 4 күн бұрын

Porches are how you really achieve peak mental health 🙃

@C.Sharpe 4 күн бұрын

Or a nice deck

@crown4212 4 күн бұрын

@@C.Sharpe true

@gamegod6859 5 күн бұрын

1:22 that's essentially using a spray bottle on them

@cosmicvoidtree 5 күн бұрын

Except the spray bottle is full of acid

@seantaggart7382 5 күн бұрын

1:40 AGREED! if i have to hide my sunset shimmer plushie? THEY will have to hide from my sunset shimmer plushie

@yokaiwatcher8500 5 күн бұрын

Nah, with the clear skin one, I could FEEL the monkeys paw curling one of its little fingers.

@jackmack4181 5 күн бұрын

0:39 *SKARBRAND HATES GOING OUTSIDE AND STAYING INSIDE, SKARBRAND WILL STAY IN THE DOOR FRAME FOR HE HATES IT SLIGHTLY LESS*

@danielnolan8049 5 күн бұрын

Lol not expecting an If the Emperor had a Text to Speech Device reference today.

@codename1176 5 күн бұрын

Nice reference

@77yvurc 5 күн бұрын

That clear skin post reminded me of the invisible woman from Venture Bros. And then the response pic came up and i knew i wasnt the only Genie at heart

@lukecote8336 5 күн бұрын

0:30 Nah, that'll just let bugs inside. What you do is get yourself a nice chair, preferably one that rocks back and forth. You sit in it on your front porch and enjoy the fresh air. Bonus points if you play a stringed musical instrument while doing so.

@samurexatlas7373 5 күн бұрын

@@lukecote8336 history repeats.

@bluelfsuma 4 күн бұрын

I would play 3DS like that, and a bee (actually, maybe it was a wasp?) landed on my finger and gave me six ice cold smooches. Peak mental health.

@tcxd1164 5 күн бұрын

for a second I forgot "clear skin" wasn't just a joke and could actually refer to something else

@fictionfan0 5 күн бұрын

I thought that title meant there was going to be a Jeff Dunham reference. Turns out it's a KZfaq Community Guidelines reference.

@TheDanishGuyReviews 5 күн бұрын

1:25 Excellent time to reference I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream. Well executed, just like the AI.

@sadservitor5362 5 күн бұрын

B in LGBT apparently stands for a funny New Vegas joke, that I really liked

@Tha-mountain 5 күн бұрын

1:00 str8 up, no filler, it would just kill u

@thegloriouswizard5270 5 күн бұрын

........ya know. With that last one? *I am glad that I never ventured into those waters.* I get enough Smart Assery from my brother. I don't need *MORE, but from Strange Strangers*.

@jonasholm-mw5bn 5 күн бұрын

2:31 adult fantasy is a well stocked store

@ItsAntfarmNerds505 5 күн бұрын

0:43 that's me. That's my post. The goddamn honeycrisp apple post. Jesus Christ. I have never loathed a post of mine this much.

@clockside 3 күн бұрын

They're so yummy though 🥺

@ItsAntfarmNerds505 2 күн бұрын

@@clockside it's not even my funniest post man 😔😔

@clockside 2 күн бұрын

@@ItsAntfarmNerds505 not everything has to be the funniest. I haven't seen that post in the wild, so I can't say anything about what might have been done to it, but I appreciate it for the relatability of being silly about really good food. c:

@ItsAntfarmNerds505 Күн бұрын

@@clockside oh damn, thank you. hearing it described that way actually means quite a bit to me /gen

@loganmiles7836 4 күн бұрын

Schrödinger’s introvert: I am both at home playing video games, and out with friends, until perceived.

@anonymousperson1142 4 күн бұрын

I remember seeing the “It will just kill you” Goosebumps book in the school library when I was tiny. It genuinely unsettled me, like as a kid it being that direct made it sound like a threat.

@bluelfsuma 4 күн бұрын

"Eyes on me, Little Beast." _Oh...?_ "I'm here to make you *damp-"* _NO, NO, GO BACK, REWIND, UNDO, CTRL+ALT+DELETE, AUGHH!!!_

@russelltietjen4407 5 күн бұрын

Never mind your toe, that last person ended up losing the whole monkey's paw

@Danka42 Күн бұрын

"Distributing your ass across multiple tasks" WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE

@sagesaria 4 күн бұрын

The stuffed animals thing is genuinely good advice. If your partner hates that you have stuffed animals, not only is that a red flag for compatibility, but there are literally stories out there of beloved items that an abusive partner hates getting *destroyed* in fights or 'jealous' rages. Just look up the blanket saga read by Mark Narrations. I had to go to work with my childhood stuffie after listening to that one.

@Smok_Argus 5 күн бұрын

A task done poorly is better than perfect - at least it's done!

@Yuruble 3 күн бұрын

3:18 - Gives the same vibe as "miss me with that 'weapon accuracy' shit. i'm shooting everything. i'm laying down cover fire. i'm shooting the walls. i'm shooting my teammates. i'm shooting myself. my accuracy is 100%. ya'll just don't know what i'm aiming at."

@redbeta9199 5 күн бұрын

Yippee!!!!!! new P.M Seymour upload!!!!!!

@AnimatingBeats 5 күн бұрын

2:14 I swear that got me laughing hard. Toby Fox has comedy gold posts

@alexaresco2063 5 күн бұрын

I bought my wife a stuffed plague doctor years ago but somehow have taken it as my own. He is always on the bed and even travels with us lol

@samurexatlas7373 5 күн бұрын

@@alexaresco2063 [|87

@AriAnimates-lz2rj 5 күн бұрын

Here in ONE MINUTE!!! Cool😊

@maxxxxxxxxxx6318 4 күн бұрын

Just got back from a three day camping trip, no internet, no shower. This is the first thing I see when I get back. Thank you.

@NODNS_n_M.ORD11630 5 күн бұрын

I have No Mouth and I must Water AM

@samurexatlas7373 5 күн бұрын

Some of us make good dialogue because we can mimic another's mind. I myself can replicate the mind of someone I know well enough, no I don't have PM as one. I could be a good therapist.

@user-hl1tx7wl9b Күн бұрын

"LET ME BE CLEAR" slowly fades away

@jakobdiehn6596 5 күн бұрын

*the last post* me, who just fiinshed watching midst: weepe: .... what?

@BM74 5 күн бұрын

0:41 hi cass

@sketchyskies8531 5 күн бұрын

As someone whose internal dialogue sometimes becomes external, I feel called out by that first post

@Shythalia 4 күн бұрын

Five Nights at The Court is the Fazbear Entertainment POV. They here fighting allegations & lawsuits.

@Supersmile330 4 күн бұрын

That last post was hilarious, got me good, the editing was just on point

@witherwolf3316 3 күн бұрын

Today I actually noticed that I will say, out loud, to myself, that I said I would do something, as a reminder to do it. This was while I was perfectly conscious of the fact that I had not said that verbally, and had instead said it, to myself, in my own head. I don't know if that's a part of how I structure language or a product of some other mental process but it certainly made for an interesting split second philosophical conundrum that played out for approximately three seconds. That's what that first post reminded me of.

@dorukayhanwastaken 4 күн бұрын

1:22 Be sure to use salt water! Regular tap water might not be conductive enough to take away a rogue computer's computing privileges.

@5peciesunkn0wn 4 күн бұрын

that last one caught me off guard soooooo much. holy fuck. My chest hurts.

@sugarqbs 4 күн бұрын

2:45 one of the highlights of my college career has been introducing Thomas Jefferson in a citation as a “soft-handed apple farmer” and my prof had a good chuckle about it in the feedback section😂

@Atoll-ok1zm 4 күн бұрын

God fucking dammit interrupting the hate monologue with a GARDEN HOSE!?!?

@AeronHale 5 күн бұрын

SKARBRAND WILL STAY IN THE DOORFRAME! HE HATES IT SLIGHTLY LESS! Sorry, The door bit reminded me of that scene from TTS.

@blakerenimu9033 2 күн бұрын

0:59 I thought it was going to be "Welcome to the dead house: scholastic"

@seantaggart7382 5 күн бұрын

1:20 ida: INDEED! heck you should be more worried about how do you treat your newly sentient ai? Do you harm it or treat it with kindness?

@stormerkromy988 3 күн бұрын

0:39 no no that's getting both bads. Porches are the answer, especially screened in

@airplanes_aren.t_real 5 күн бұрын

4:22 tbf you'd make bank with figure drawing

@et1033 5 күн бұрын

0:36 NOOOO there was another reblog on this post concluding that this might be why patios exist, dammit

@lim.6535 4 күн бұрын

2:00 looks very similar to a courtroom I was put in as a child.

@thefakerth 2 күн бұрын

I don’t hide my stuffed animals. My main teddy bear that is the size of my torso that I found in a dumpster and is now full of holes (he was doing better in the dumpster tbh) has a designated place on my bf and I’s bed. I also have two human-sized teddy bears that share the couch and make great pillows. My bf jokingly cuddles and kisses them all to make me “jealous” and I enjoy playing along.

@azrealducain3123 3 күн бұрын

That last one was perfect.

@GroundThing 3 күн бұрын

The citing scholars one is just reminding me of that Math paper that cited: Kaczynski, T, best known for other work.

@hart1027 5 күн бұрын

1:57 pizza game

@squidpile 5 күн бұрын

1:16 saw a screenshot of this post but with a guilty gear reference in the comments (?) (idk what they’re called I don’t tumble). So sad that it has been left out

@spaceshiplewis 5 күн бұрын

0:30 Hey, maybe Stoop Kid had the right idea!

@ethanmendiola3070 4 күн бұрын

1:40 Flying Kevin Shameless Promotion Go!

@ratsmackerpoundcoin 5 күн бұрын

I feel like… someone’s trying to SELL ME SOMETHING!!!

@NekoChanSenpai 5 күн бұрын

90s home technology skin

@threedaysgrace2233 4 күн бұрын

No hear me out sitting on the stoop/ just enough far from the door so you don't feel anxious but hey your outside technically.

@ziggiethegreat7738 5 күн бұрын

The clear skin oh my gods 😆

@ddcreativeideas6115 4 күн бұрын

1:17 haha, AM's greatest weakness, a fucking hose

@ejmc6378 4 күн бұрын

"That's against community guidelines". BIG OOF

@donutmasterjim 5 күн бұрын

0:42 not me watching this while eating a honeycrisp apple

@ItsAntfarmNerds505 4 күн бұрын

spreading my agenda far and wide

@Director_Orson_Krennic 5 күн бұрын

Funny man keels us. Is nice.

@energyspark6083 5 күн бұрын

I can’t tell if PM is posting daily or if time is slipping between my fingers

@86fifty 5 күн бұрын

0:38 - pfffft, damn, somebody drove by my house and took a picture, didn't they?? XDDD

@TarynBeeswax 5 күн бұрын

We really are against tumblr's community guidelines

@cinnamonmink3736 5 күн бұрын

Date people who will get you MORE stuffed animals

@GallowglassVT 5 күн бұрын

You do have to wonder why no one thought to just spray water at Am.

@aguafria9003 5 күн бұрын

Clear skin you say? I can think of a PRIME example of that.

@AriAnimates-lz2rj 5 күн бұрын

CLEAR SKIN DARLING!!!

@specter_8885 5 күн бұрын

TOBY FOX JUMPSCARE

@theclodofclods 5 күн бұрын

Holy shit cool S sword /|\ \\ \|/ Uh, that's the best I could do

@iwillruletheworldyay 5 күн бұрын

b+ for effort

@AeciusthePhilosopher 5 күн бұрын

3:12 I did not come here to be called out like that.

@RossOriginals 2 күн бұрын

I genuinely thought they meant transparent skin.

@ferallantern 4 күн бұрын

IHNMAIMS REFERENCE!!

@ThePkmnYPerson 5 күн бұрын

2:22 They do until you work there.

@austinrimel7860 4 күн бұрын

I like cool s sword. 0:17

@GloomyFish 5 күн бұрын

Guys... PM's pronouncing the T in depot again... guys I'm scared!

@ZX_STH 5 күн бұрын

Large Frogge

@alphonsearmory5321 5 күн бұрын

how the hell did I get here with no views?

@zeewilliams6871 5 күн бұрын

Moots.

@LOBricksAndSecrets 5 күн бұрын

How else were we supposed to interpret the phrase "clear skin" ?

@dokuganryu1565 4 күн бұрын

Fair?

@jcj268 4 күн бұрын

1:25 😆

@metalclawsteelheart 5 күн бұрын

2:32 *WHY IS IFUNNY*

@mars_hoodie5961 5 күн бұрын

I lived in the doorbell aisle till they removed it.

@whyiwakeup6460 5 күн бұрын

4:05 goddamnit

@samsonmacri941 5 күн бұрын

1:37 I don't know, Taxidermy is a bit of a weird hobby, Plus how did they get the dead animals they're stuffing? I'm just not comfortable with that.

@gregyey2gregboogaloo24 5 күн бұрын

One of the A's in LGBTQIA+ (The other ones are in the plus) is for... erm, how do i say this... prefers the company of no people...

@ShadeofIce 5 күн бұрын

The skin may be clear but there should still technically be visible meat in there.

@Ishtarru 5 күн бұрын

I feel like our American educational system failed me for never teaching me how to draw a cool S.

@akiraboroque 5 күн бұрын

Draw two rows of three lines parallel to each other. Connect the top 1 to the bottom 2 and top 2 to the bottom 3. Draw a diagonal line from top 1 and 3 so they're over top 2, same for bottom 1 and 3. Finally draw a diagonal from bottom 1 to top 2 and top 3 to bottom 2 without crossing the lines. Hope it makes sense

@Chessrook44 5 күн бұрын

3:05 Okay, look, I swear, this is not me. Although it may be my long lost great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather. Can't be certain.