Survivability.

I see the invisable. But we all do.

Gratitude. The parent of all virtues in my experience.

I have always connected with people quite easily and I rarely care what anyone thinks of me. People have to earn my respect.

That would probably be my Girl Scout leadership training, my deep dive researching skills, having married a reporter, my life long interest in politics and spending the summer with my PhD brother in law while he was doing his field work on budworm populations. [It is math.] I learned a lot from him. And learning about Quality Control programs while getting a BS in Food Science from Cal Poly. I would like to ask you a question. When I became a political activist, my ex decided I was crazy and forced me to go to a psychiatrist. She, behind my back, informed that him I was bi-polar and should be drugged. I think she just has a bias against people like me. Her words and actions destroyed my health and my family life; telling my beloved hubby that I was a delusional liar, he divorced me. It was horrible. My question is, what protects people like me from people like her? Is there anything I can do about it? I saw one KZfaq where the psychiatrist making the video joked about hating on and mistreating our personality type. I didn't think it was funny. I was the victim of that exact sort of 'professional' treatment. From my perspective it looks like a conspiracy to commit torture and they get away with it.

I know I have a habit of expressing myself strongly to people when I feel like they are rejecting me. I still do it, just consciously now. But Ive learned to take some of my excited energy to people who can meet me there and enjoy it.

It took me 20 years to learn there is a name of this discouragement - Quiet BPD and Fawning trauma response.

@@jnl3564 " habit of expressing myself strongly to people when I feel like they are rejecting me. " That is called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. Been struggling with it since 1990 and I was convinced it is Social anxiety. I learned this RSD concept about in February this year, 2023. 33 years of convincing myself I am socially shy while having RSD.

@@ranc1977 I still need to learn how not to please my abusers. Thankfully, they are few and far between.

@@Brillotop "I still need to learn how not to please my abusers." That need is the problem, When we learn about Quiet BPD, trauma and RSD - we learn that the problem is not in our behavior - but in abuser. Abuser is abnormal mentally ill sick criminally insane evil person. Predators use gaslighting and brainwashing - so that you start to believe that your behavior is problem. And they use punishment and negative reinforcement to hook you into worry and rumination and thinking how can you correct your behavior and thinking in order for them to stop abusing you. We people please abusers because they use Oppression and Coercive Control - in some states coercive control is crime, people end up in court because of it. In most of the West world, Oppression is forbidden by Constitution. People pleasing is not sickness. It is normal and healthy to care for people who are kind and good to us. When we are trapped in abusive situation - it is important not to blame ourselves and to feel guilty for how we reacted to abuse. we were simply forced to it. Without people pleasing - there is femicide, there is being fired from a job and being unable to support yourself, being homeless - especially if we live in cocaine crime ridden countries like Eastern Europe ex communist countries. People pleasing is coping mechanism - it helps us to survive inhuman environment - and abusers wants us that we feel guilty and ashamed for people pleasing. So that we lose our temper and they love endless drama and reason to be cruel to us when we stand up to them, inside Unfavorable Power Dynamics. The most devastating effect of long term exposure to narcissistic abuse - is that our brain will be injured - google it. Part of our brain related to memory and assigning meaning to memories will get shrunk. This means we will develop severe toxic shame, deep self hatred and self rejection - just for being exposed to abuse. The way out is to plan escape route - but it is essential that we start to built self love, self validation and self acceptance - not self rejection and feeling shame for how we handled the abuse. - Lundy Bancroft: "Abuse is NOT caused by bad relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behaviour. But he wants you to think you can."

Yes, haters try to destroy. I retired from teaching. One year a coworker gave one of my state tests with lots of disruptions. The other coworker was in on it! My scores did not decrease and their scores still didn't come close to mine. Soooo, out of the goodness of my heart (with my principal's permission) I bought medals for every student and surprised them on Award's Day/Graduation. The coworker's presented medals to their students for the subject taught. I stayed at the microphone and they presented medals to my student's. We were departmentalized.....meaning all of the students had the same teacher for a particular subject. The gym was PACKED for the ceremony. YEP, you guessed it. They were humiliated for everyone to know my scores were not only higher gains, but twice as many students walking across stage. UNDERESTIMATE ME again. That'll be fun!

Exactly, it’s almost humiliating

I think it’s more like we can feel how our light makes them feel and we feel sad (or some way) about it so we shrink…at least for me anyway…

But their fillings are their problem. It's not our responsibility

Wow,public speaking,so glad for you that’s a real tough one and being socially assertive is also tough,that’s one I’ve had a hard time with for most of my INFJ life. Being assertive is something I’ve never learned but became,one day I just noticed I would immediately check people when they would show disrespect,it’s interesting how my chest would heat-up and I would feel this force of energy that’s equivalent to a mother bear protecting her cub.

Stop watching the news and lower energy, stay in love and kindness and spread joy everywhere you go

I had a simular reaction. Then I looked up why pot was illegal. I was really horrified by what I discovered, but not being a normal person I decided to do something about it. I became a political activist. The people focused on themselves are not the problem, the problem lies with the psychopaths in charge who are starting and fighting the wars. I came up with a plan to do something about them. People have to continue to live their lives, what else can they do? I might have been a really impactful activist, but I failed miserably at being a good spouse and parent. They all ghosted me because dealing with the world's pain is way too much for any normal person to handle. Personally, I think the place to start is with 9/11. I only discovered this site a few days ago, so I have no idea what the folks here think about 9/11, but I sure would like to know. Do you have any idea?

My goal has always been to inspire people through my mistakes out loud, and to relate to them but they would point and laugh instead. So I inspired the people, who weren't afraid to try their hands at working towards their goals. You gotta know your audience

I've always known, that my mistakes out loud is what makes me authentic, relatable, and trustworthy

I've always loved that poem too.

Me too. Some people are brutal. But, if you put them in their place, they back down because, deep down they are weak. Stay strong and happy.😊

@@tnt01 thank you! And I guess I am more referring to the undercover haters lol they are sooooo much harder to discern and do things strategically and calculated.. But you’re right! The Most High is far more strategic lol so I’ll be fine! 🥰❤️ They very much are cowardly too lol

@@zaylinstar8883 100%

💯 🙌

Amen!❤

I'm wondering what conversations you are having. I find most of my conversations I agree with strongly or mildly. I must be talking about different stuff than you are or the people around you are really different from the people I encounter. Maybe your way to shine is rock polishing and has nothing to do with other people. There are a lot of different ways to 'shine'.

That's because nothing here makes sense. Everyone is trying to be something they're not. The formless believing it is a human(s) is a complete madness

see craig malkin's book on echoism, healthy narcissm is good, im an infj too

Ditto!

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