I agree and I am also not an adult, with my insight. But I have the fear of not being an adult in terms of emotional intelligence and ability to earn a living. But a lot of men seem to be emotionally dead or stunted and they have no compassion. Capitalism rules over human weaknesses, I suppose.

​@@sanatajmost people dont even think about emotional intelligence so the fact that you have it in consideration is already a step in the right way

Gerhard Symons Yep

Ditto.

This has been the story of my life. I have been feeling incredibly lonely lately because of this. It is really hard being around people who are so selfish, immature, abusive and self absorbed. It's in those moments when you need some support that you realize how alone you really are.

@@michaeljensen4650 I would say that there are two major disappointments in life: - realising that one's parents are fallible, perhaps even damaged people. - the world is replete with insecure children who lead outwardly adult lives.

Well said. Me too. And not just overgrown children but traumatised overgrown children

That is very true, but: children are also not able to survive on their own. They don't understand things like responsibility, discipline, delaying gratification in order to accomplish long-term goals. I think it is balance what we are looking for. How to stay in contact with yourself, while looking after your responsibilities, which simply isn't always as 'fun' as being a child.

You're describing a good, safe childhood, my friend. Adults should feel like adults. Children should feel like children.

The 'natural' self does not exist, what you are describing is the absence of a framework of knowledge which informs but also instills doubt within a person about their world. It is simply unavoidable to lose the 'natural' self as you gain more knowledge since all it really is is a manifestation of ignorance.

Observe carefully and you will notice most adults treat children as they were some sort of stupids because of not knowing many facts they do and therefore every idea expressed by an infant is between wrong to unimportant at some degree

I agree, although children who manage to grow intp healthy adults would not lose this. Uts just that the adults most children see are emotionally stunted so are wounded chikdren in adult bodies. The more a child can hold onto their own knowing, instinct, intuition and sense of true self the more chance they have of healibg the rest and reaching maturity or enlightemnent as we call it, as its so rare these days)

Virtually all parents do that.

Yes, honest is significant, coupled with courage.

People will devour you if they see realness. Keep running for cover until you are complete. Then go outside.

Be reborn in Christ!

yes, can relate. i am a kidult, lol

Very true. Great insight.

you described one of my parent very accurate. On top of that those people are unaware of it. But don’t mention that they are damaged and that they need to seek help. They will try to make you feel so bad about yourself you never could imagine that from a “loved” one.

I can relate to you.

My grandmother, at age 78, told me she felt the same inside as everyone else, but everyone treated her differently because how she looked on the outside.

I once saw a 40 year old man, getting into trouble by his old father who was shouting at him up in his face threateningly, and the 40yo backing away saying repeating “No Dad, no dad! I didnt i didnt no no I didnt…” The 40 yo was doing a role of being like an 8 yo child frightened of his father. To me it looked so odd, so strange / an adult being treated like a naughty kid. I wondered why the old man didn’t discuss the issue and approach it like two mature adults. The 40 yo thought his father was allowed to deal with people anyway he thought was necessary. But the 40 yo abused other people, with the claim he was allowed to deal with people in whatever way he decided was necessary.

I'm 41 with ptsd, regression, signs of peter pan syndrome and some other things. I get you.

Especially in family

Especially with the last born (re: birth order).

The likely hood of anything getting a good outcome is usually and generally 40%. Humans were born cynical the moment our ancestors climbed down from the trees. Dangerous predators roam around ready to kill wimpy apes, nature at it's fineist. In order to survive an paradoxically chaotically orderly world and keep your mind well a person must be both insane and sane, in other words in the middle of the spectrum. Humans weren't born mature so they aren't gonna act like it unless their forced, but immaturity has its roots to take and act fast, angerly, impatiently this is useful for human motivation to attack. All animals choose the easiest path for survival. Doesn't mean the easiest is the healthiest in your head. depression, dread, fear, anger all stems from the unknown. Why is it that kids are afraid of the dark? It's the fear of predators and primates willing to kill kids for food an instinctual paranoid imagination all humans have. To survive humans became paranoid and slowly, but surely devised ways to survive as much as possible. As such they imagined every bad thing that can happen. Why do you think the phrase "expect the worst hope for the best," is used alot? Their is a lot of truth in cynical thoughts. While not everything is dark most things are. To survive one must be willing to do what people consider insanity. Do you really think being completely sane is a good thing? Fat chance. Are you willing to kill a kid to save your family? If not good luck surviving in horrible situation in the Eastarn world 150000 years ago. The majority are insane. To be in the middle of the spectrum means your unpredictable if your unpredictable you won't be figured out so easy and if you won't be figured out so easy they can't find your mental weakness and psychopaths are less likely to mentally damage you. Sanity and insanity both have disadvantages and advantages. If your insane your more motivated to do whatever it takes, however this leads to horrible mental states and unbalance, but if your sane you would be less motivated to improve. After all geniuses are most of the time insane with high motivation, while some found happiness I would argue they got lucky on the middle ground of the spectrum of sanity/insanity. Happiness brings stagnation in growth, because you won't be as greedy to improve yourself if your satisfied. If you aren't paranoid you won't survive the next day, but if your too paranoid you won't be willing to cooperate. Take your pick be sane and happy, but won't survive the next day or insane and unhappy with a good chance to live the next day. Most will say happiness, but most humans will in reality take survival. After all we are all animals with instincts. War will always exist as long as their is different groups of people to compete. Competition strive winning and striving to help your own group. Tribalism is a defense mechanism that promotes war. Once implemented civilization will improve itself continually till they get our level of tech. Most tech came from war not peace. As you look at the world more the more you realize how evil humans can be. What people call a selfless action isn't really selfless. In reality all good and evil actions stem from survival. Dopamine in the brain is the reward system if you do good guess what? Your being rewarded in the head for doing a "selfless" action. If you do "selfish" guess what your getting rewarded. Knowing this disproved the notion of good people. Their isn't any. It's all an illusion of the head. People only care about other people, because of a reward system in their head. Your only emotionally hurt when someone else is in pain, why? Why that ruins your reward system if you don't help and ruins your chance at survival. You may not realize it, but the more you look at it the more you realize that every aspect of humanity including suicide as well as war is an act of survival. Depressing people commit suicide to decrease the population of the tribe as well as to maintain stability and psychopaths rule the group to ensure order through violence wheather mentally or physically. To force people to improve themselves. If you ain't in the middle you are less likely to survive and improve if everyone were sane their wouldn't be motivated geniuses or motivated powerful people. Mother nature is a cruel one. Trying to be mature also has disadvantages. For example it takes awhile to fully mature, but if you stay immature and just act like it you act faster, however less of quality process. Maturity alienates others. As such your less likely to find a big group and considering the effort it takes its a long process. Mother nature is alot like a c+ student. Lazy and semi efficient. As such the world operates similarly. Not perfect, but just enough to get by. In other words it tries to always take the easy fast way out. That's why we have not alot of mature people. It's harder to bring birth to said people. And they out number you. Sorry, but sanity and happiness isn't always the best option as far as mother nature is concerned.

@@thoughtaddict2739 damn thats insane

lol

@@thoughtaddict2739 I can tell you're a real thought addict. Hominids being innately cynical for climbing out of the trees is a golden take lmao

aw man.. I see some of these things and know I don't have it in me yet. I got so much to work on and struggling to know where to start. I struggle to trust that I can even get through it.

Your feelings are very valid but also your friends approach isn't that bad, it works for awhile untill the mask comes off. I hope your friend has the strength to overcome their issues and I hope you successfully grieve. All the best x

The only thing is, that many people get through life and are liked a lot more than i am, by having the mask, or the veneer of only talking positively about themselves. The grieving is only useful if it leads to somewhere better i.e. healing. I have never managed to make that change, I am stuck in the past. That is why people reject me. I am looking for reassurance and support and am not enough fun. I would have a better life if I ditched my principle and faked it. Did you notice how Daniel said he examined his frozen parts and healed himself? Not sure how to achieve that. He didn't seem to say he used that to help the Vets, which disappointed me.

Has anyone tried NLP or CBT? They are therapies that are supposed to put reasoning into proportion i.e. to be able to detach us from distress and eliminate mistaken meaning from false childhood beliefs.

Heres some aspects I think are relevant. Before you have healed, any happiness gained will not yet fully feel genuine. It will grow to be part of the mask. But thats not to say its better to be grumpy or sad or dwelling in negative emotion during that time. For some people, their entire childhood was hopeless and put down and full of anxiety and low self image and always thinking bad is gonna happen. Fully healing is good and important, to get to the other side. But sometimes, you need to recharge a bit with some positivity you didnt get before, so you have more tools in your belt, on the journey to having more positivity toward self and others. Cant share what you dont have.

I missed out on 3 decades of my life doing fake it till you make it. Horrific when one first wakes up to that reality. I don't recommend it.

Try to identify and examine your core beliefs. Morty Lefkoe has a list of suggested common mistaken beliefs that hamper us in life. If you can refute them you can free yourself from self-torment. You and a friend would be perfect to do it in tandem. I wish i had someone to do it with. The gits started your trouble, but you internalised it and took over the torment of yourselves, see what I mean? It can be reversed, especially with support.

Wow its liked reading my life but I'm 28 and your life sounds like mine. I also have myofascial pain. What therapy ot medicine do you take for muscle pain?

Wow, Tahiya, thanks for sharing! The mental metaphor you've described seems like a very powerful thing, and I'm glad to hear your perspective on the subject explored in the video.

How are you today ?

Thanks!! --Daniel

You're welcome.

jem benton The Homecoming by John Bradshaw is the best book and method for reclaiming and championing the different ages of inner children within ourselves

Hmmm that book might be helpful to me, thank you for sharing!!

@@heartwisdomlove Wow! Someone connected. I really appreciate your response. Thank you.

I’m so happy for you that the emotions were triggered. There’s so much healing in the sobbing. Keep well

same, so beneficial

I just found him also in the last few days. What a gem eh! Keep well Leila

@@Johannastairwellstudio you too johanna ☺️