My greatest life accomplishment is going from being an orphan to being a good father

My father put me down every day of my life, told me I was a fool, stupid, worthless. Now I’m the father of five kids, I know I’m a great dad as my kids love me and all I had to do to earn their love was to be the exact opposite of what my dad was.

I'm gonna to jump in here. I'm 73 and have been through this with three generation. My nephew's in the 60s, my son in the late 70 s and my grandson in 2008. I firmly agree with all that been put forward here. Men your place cannot be stress enough. The one thing that I will include here is this. From the start, play on the floor with them. That's their world. Get down on the floor and,,,grow up with them. My grandson, we lost his father when he was 18 months old. He wasn't old enough to understand everything that happened, but he did understand his father was gone. He turned to me. I became his father/grandfather that day, along with his sister's. We all grew up together. Today the ones who are not adults yet are late teens. My nephew's, my son, and my grandson, never fail to hug when we meet, or when we part.Samples of what I taught them. Never eat in Grampa car( they cost to much to be a dinning room) when we go out to eat we always dine in. We sit at the same table , we talk, we joke, we laugh, we bond. I taught them to always thank the cook. If someone feeds you or does you a good turn, you owe them a thank you. I feel very strongly that these are the most important words you can say. More than I love you. Fill your relationships with Thank you and watch the magic. And lastly fellows, the ones just starting out being a Dad. Remember you are the man your son wants to become, and as for your daughters, you are just as important, you see you are the man your daughter wants to find someday. There isn't anything much more to it. I could go on , but I've highjacked this video long enough.

Sadly I never had any of the five things you talked about. All I got was extreme physical beatings and mental abuse. He never hugged me and told me he love me, even now that I am 57 and a father, husband and a grandfather. But the love of God saved me from the hurt, scars and trauma of an abusive father.

I always wanted a dad, my lady is 7 months pregnant, and that’s why I’m here trying to become the right role model for that young gentleman 🙏🏻

I don’t think I ever heard my dad tell me he loved me until my last visit before he passed. I always tell my son I love him and try to be the example for him.

My father will never truly understand how much pain there is. When A father doesn't take the time out to truly know his son.

Growing up Without My Father has made me a GREAT Dad!

I grew up fine without a father but I think it would've been nice to have a male parent who brings you up unconditionally. I look forward to being a great father to a child.

I didn’t have this with my dad, but my 15yr old boy has it with me. I teach him everything I had to learn the hard way and everything I’m still learning, same with his 2 older sisters. All 3 live with me I broke the cycle on mine and there mothers side, biggest blessing of my life..

I had the greatest Dad imaginable. He taught me MANY things - he even began teaching me to read before I started school. Even more important than tangible skills, he taught me SO much by his example - how to treat people, how to keep my word, how to deal with other men, and MUCH more. He was the greatest gift I could ever have been given, and I owe literally everything good in my life to him; all my accomplishments, my ability to deal with adversity ... everything. The only thing he didn't do -- and I'm still a little angry at him for this -- he didn't live forever like I thought he would.

My father missed out on having a great son.

I’m 20 my father is a bill payer and nothing more. I have always seen a difference between me and my friends who were all close with their fathers or had brothers around. Truth is the void in my confidence is due to my fathers lack of interest in my life. I have 2 sisters and was raised by my mother, aunts, grandma, and my elderly grandfather. My father is not a bad guy but he is not the best dad when it comes to father and son connection. We got into a heated exchange one day and I saw a side of him that showed me he was just like me inside but it was buried under 30+ years of Pain. I wish I learned how to be a man at a younger age but I I will teach myself so my son will not suffer this same fate. Update: I’m 22 now and am graduating college. Me and my father are a lot closer now. I am in the gym, I have a job. Friends, girls find me more attractive, I’ve stopped masturbating, stopped meaningless sex, I read and I am well respected by other men young and old. Thanks for the likes and comments .

I grew up without a father. I’m 55 now. I made huge mistakes in my life as a young man. I believe had I had a good father, my life would have been better. But my mother was always there! I have a 7 year old son. Frequently out of no where he says: “I love you soooo much!”Those words! They justify my existence!

Grew up without dad, a violent stepdad terrorized my life, and still haunts me in my traumas. But good God, I'm a proud dad of three highly gifted kids, and I do exactly what is told here and far beyond, securing their safety beyond space and time. I hope to keep on radiating the love and light I hold inside to my kids. Truly turn all my childhood traumas into a grain of sand, and alter it to build a castle of love and inspiration for all of the next generations.

1. Time together. 2. Life skills. 3. Direction with solid answers with "why" questions for dad. 4. Establish deep life convictions. Life modeling of Godly behavior. Be the example for your son. 5. Son needs his dad's heart. Affirmations.

My dad was never around. My mom wasn't all that much better. I was lucky to find my wife and God blessed us with a son. He is my life. He just said sorry for the first time the other day. I instantly cried. Hang in there boys. Im rooting for all of you. God bless

Every son born on this earth needs father's presence, completely admitted.

I have been building our retirement cabin with our two sons. There is nothing more important than spending time with each other, building a home, sitting by the campfire every night talking, joking, laughing and discussing the events of the day. These are the memories we leave behind. The struggles, the sacrifices and the joys of living a life well lived. We have rented our entire lives sacrificing home ownership so that they could grow up in decent neighborhoods and go to decent schools. Now they are helping us build something of lasting value that will also save them later in their lives. The greatest adventure of our lives.

To everyone reading this, I sincerely pray for that whatever is causing you pain or stress will pass. May your negative thoughts, excessive worries and doubts disappear, replaced by clarity and understanding. May your life be filled with peace, tranquility and love

Years ago I remember saying to my mother, in response to one of my father's nasty hurtful verbally abusive comments, "I don't know how I'm going to react when that man dies." Years later when I received the news that he had stage 4 terminal cancer I got the answer. I felt a horrible crushing pain in my heart, the likes of which I'd never felt and haven't felt since. I can remember driving up to a mountain top to be all alone so I could scream and cry like I'd never cried before. I was literally on the ground sobbing and wailing like a child. When he was alive I avoided him. Though he had always been a good provider and worked hard to keep us fed, clothed and housed he never had a single kind word to say. It wasn't till he died that I came to understand why I grieved so hard. I wasn't grieving the loss of someone I was close to. I was grieving for the loss of all those wasted years that could have been. His final months rendered him unable to communicate verbally. He never learned to read or write so there was no way of knowing what was going through his mind. But I could see it in his eyes, what he wanted to tell me. I've since come to remember that. His eyes filled with such love and tenderness that he was never capable of expressing. It's been 13 years and I frequently look up to heaven and say out loud "I love you dad. I always loved you and that will never ever change. I will see you again. "

The best lesson my dad taught me was when my grandpa passed, he showed me that memories were far better than inherited things. He forever changed my viewpoint into what really counts in life! I’m so grateful for the time we had together!

Me and my father haven’t been close since I was like 8. I now have an almost 8 year old. I try my best to spend as much time as I can with him even if it’s just watching tv. Most the time spent with my son is just me and him. I tell him I love him literally every few minutes to where he gets annoyed of it almost 😭 to any good dads out there keep up the great work. And to any dads that feel under appreciated just know your child loves you so so much and they need you in their lives. Shout out good dads. Wouldn’t trade fatherhood for anything

These relationships can always be healed . Don't allow the world to fool you and tell you otherwise .

I lost my mom to brain cancer and it wasn’t til after she passed when I realized my father’s lack of care/interest in my life. It’s been hard enough losing a parent but it felt like I lost both of parents at the same time.

Taking these notes down at 23, so I can do my best job on raising my boy who’s now 2.

My father never tought me what actually matters

I had a really bad dad. Abusive, manipulative, jealous, deceptive, and cruel. It instilled a sense of shame in me that has been very hard to shake over my 40 years of life. But, I am doing my best. I am pushing myself to succeed. I am trying to understand and control my mental health. I am trying to build a career and a future for myself. But I definitely feel as if I’ve been playing life on hard mode for very little reward. Some days are harder than others. Thanks for the great video.

This is needed by the daughters too!!! Even more , she needs to know she is safe and secure because she has a good father.

I always wished that my dad gives this to me. He's still around and healthy and in the family but he's just there but nothing else....just an empty shell. I grew up lost in life. But I'm proud of myself that I see what I wanted in my future and I'm giving it all to my two children the fatherhood that I never had.

My father passed almost 3 years ago and I miss him dearly. He was a great father.

Even if the time with my father wasn’t the best, I’m going to try as hard as I can when it comes to mine. No irrational anger just critical thinking and compassion.

Man not having a father growing up this video makes me sad ngl but fortunately I have a almost 3 year old daughter and let me tell you I will be there for her and spend time with her. Also teaching her wisdom

I had the best father I could ever ask for. I lost him a little over a year ago when my son was 1 month old. I miss him so much and try so hard to be as good of a father as he was to me.

My father is dying as write this. He's got a few days left to live. I have been holding his hand and telling him how love him and that I'm proud of him. But he can't speak back due to the morfine he is getting. He did so much for me, was always kind and patient with me even when I didn't deserve it. He held my hand as child and protected. I regret so much that havent spend more time with him lately. It came so suddenly. Goodbye bye my dear father, I will miss you. You will always be in my heart.

I had the best Dad a man can have and he lived to nearly 103.

I'm thankful that I made it a point to be all to my son that my dad was not to me. I will never know what it's like to be told I'm worthy, valued, handsome, great job or we'll get through this etc. Not even from my mother. But, my son knows without a doubt how much he has meant to me, the depth of love I have for him. The bullet I would take for him. I'm 53 now and will never know those things, but as a dad I get to be all those things I missed out on. AND THAT I would not trade for the second chance. He is 32 now and 2 kids of his own and to watch him with them warms and makes my heart swell.

I'm trying my best with two young sons, but I recognise areas where I could be doing better. It's good to get this reminder.

My Dad died when I was very young, almost 10 years old. I never had a father or father figure growing up. Older brothers were wayyyyyy older than me, but I did have a father, Father in heaven, little did I know. He saved us because He loved us first, He chose us, we didn't choose Him. Thank you Father for loving me. In Jesus name with the help of your Holy Spirit amen!!!

One thing I’ve learned to do more of is sharing your insecurities and failures. Don’t buy into the garbage that you have to appear all-powerful and invincible as a dad. Tell them if you thought you didn’t have many friends when you were a teenager. Tell them if you ever had trouble getting a girl. Tell them you failed a test. This helps breed resiliency. It helps them not fear failure bc they know it’s a well trodden path everyone takes sometimes. It helps them open up to you when they fail.

I have become a first time father and My son is 8 months old, cant wait to show him the world, because he is my world!

I had 2 dads, neither could say they checked the box on any of the five. My biological dad left me when I was as 7. My Mom remarried, a man with 4 troubled boys. This video reminded me have how I longed to have my dad do something with me. Longed to hear “I’m proud of you son”. I wish I could have seen this video as a young dad, I have a son and he is our only child. He is married now with children of his own. Recently he posted to Facebook on my birthday, “My friend, my coach, my mentor, my Dad”. Do not perpetuate the mistakes of your parents. You can still have a meaningful relationship with your children.

Going to the store, or running errands, my son would go with me. I let him make choices early, so he could think for himself. Like looking out the window on a rainy day, I asked him, “should I wear a coat? Ya dad you should wear a coat”, he said. He is an only child, but today he has 3 kids, with a Loving wife. We are very close and he calls me often. He is an awesome man!

Wow, this explains why I've felt so unprepared and insecure. I'm happy to have given my life to the Lord a couple years ago and I'm 35. God is my heavenly father.

Many young men have no idea what a good dad looks like. I had one, it’s a shame when we are young we don’t appreciate it at the time. When you have children of your own you will understand. Men don’t become a real man until your dad passes away or when you’re in your 40’s. I had a Great dad but didn’t take advantage of his lessons until I was in my 30’s. I’m 57 know and remember many things he taught me that I still take advantage of today with my kids. He died when I was 48 and I still hear him in my head.

Brings tears to my eyes ! My mrs kicked me out 3 months ago ! My son and I had the closest relationship ever , such a lovely funny calm dry sense of humoured 13 year old young man ! From seeing my son morning noon and night , and now see him occasionally ! I hate my life !

After work, when I come home, I spend all my time with my 9 year old son.

I dont tell my boy enough how proud I am of him.

The main thing is a dad who is there... I met an older guy recently. He told me after retirement he was down in his basement one day and he was looking at all the awards, trophies and diplomas. He said to me they didn't matter. The one thing he wished he did more was spend more time with his kids and family.

Great video. My father passed when I was 10. And those moments with him were enough keep me centered into adulthood. & now as a father I see the way my son looks up to me with beaming eyes & im blessed to share these moments with him.

My family was never into the religious aspects of what you are saying. I will say that my dad did the best with the limited emotional intelligence that he himself had. He did not a have good childhood. He was also a lawyer, and he brought that home to us. He was judgemental, but loving at the same time. He stopped affirming me in my early teens. But he has told me that he is proud of the man I became. He told me this last year on my birthday and truly meant it. He even started to tear up as he said it. And even though I am an adult now, it still meant a lot to me.

Amen. My father died when I was four. Definitely missed out on all these, at least in the physical world. He’s been looking out for me from the beyond, I think.

I pray blessings to God that my relationship with my father was as perfect as one could ask. My dad was there for me and my siblings always. He worked hard to provide a great home and life for myself and my siblings. No I was not spoiled I heard the word No often as needed. But I saw my dad be a dad. I could write a book on my blessed relationship with my dad. OBTW. I also had a superb mother. The love I got from her and returned by me was wonderful. Same goes for my siblings. We had an ideal mother and father relationship and I know many of my peers and many kids today have not had such blessings with great parents. For that my heart cries for them. But I will always thank God for having such incredible parents.

i have none of these things from my father. he died this year. before he died i asked him. "Do you like anything about me" long pause, CRICKETS.....he said "I guess i dont like myself" this is the inner core state of the narcissistic wound. "Self loathing and jealousy" if a narcissist has a son who is something then the narcissist is nothing. SHAME RULES SOME MEN a lifetime of invalidation, hidden anymosity, withdrawl, criticism, gaslighting, projection, triangulation, sabotage leaves me a lost and broken person.

My Father was far from perfect. But he did the best he could on these points. When passed I was 35 years old, no father, no grandfather, no uncle. Much as it sucked and scared me. I knew what to do. Decades later I still love and miss my dad. I believe he looks down on me now and is proud, he’d still point out opportunities for improvement but he would be proud. That’s enough for me.

My father was an honest and good man, but he never did any of the things mentioned. Our relationship was bitter. I had to learn everything by myself and would have done a lot better in life had I received any guidance from him. He passed away last year and I am still trying to process the grief and forgive him at the same time.

😢😭😭You brought me in tears, sir. I felt like you were a father figure to me in just one video. You, sir, are amazing. 10 out of 10! You have earned my utmost respect! Also, a subscriber!

Every father needs to hear this!

Thank you Tirce

Great advice for any new dad's or even a few years in , thanks💪👍

I had my two sons with me, day in day out until their mom got jealous and told them not to spend time with me anymore. I did not see them after they were 13 and 15. I dream of the moments we had

I’m an adopted child from Guatemala and have always been proud of that. 15 and gonna be 16 in august 20th. Dad had M.S and so does Mom. Dad was also handicapped. I grew up with M.S dad. He was a bit crabby because of the pain and was hard to know if he was happy half the time so I was cooped up in my room, but did show that he loved me. He’d be in and out of hospital and nursing home for months. Till one day. I got the news. He had bed sores and one of them got infected and went to the pelvic bone. That day we went to visit him at St. Peter’s hospital. And that day I met the dad that I heard in stories from mom. A kind, sweet, loving man. Like it was a whole 180. He gave me his cross necklace. And then on September 4th, 2020. I came back from a camp with some friends and got the news that he passed in his sleep. So now it’s just mom and I. And we got his ashes. I wish now that I could just turn back time, get out of my room and just hug him and tell him I loved him as much as I can. It’s already been 10 months. I wish I could’ve met the dad without M.S and gotten a better bond. There’s so much I wished we could’ve done together.

I was blessed to have 2 DADS in my life unfortunately my biological father I wasn’t able to see as much as I liked and lost him when I was 15.. but my step dad MY DAD came into my life when I was 2 and the role model he was and continues to be is something I carry on to MY SON. He didn’t have to be the DAD he was to me I wasn’t his but till this day this man loves me and my wife and kids unconditionally. I am blessed to have MY DAD still always there for me even as a man to give me advice and guidance when I need it. He taught me the way to be a man and support my family and I never let him forget the impact he plays in my life.

Wow what a beautiful message every dad needs

My dad really skewed my view of fatherhood and when i became a father I didnt know what to do. I always said "I wish my father abandoned us we'd be better off" he was an angry drunk who never taught me anything but cuss, shoot and be angry. Now I'm trying my best to not let my sons know the type of pain I knew. Im far from perfect but I want to be the best version of myself for them.

Thanks old man

Loyalty, leadership and love.

Amen!! Thank you!

This is a really beautiful message. Thank you so much.There definitely is a huge void if these elements are not present. My father comes from a completely different universe - never took any time to get to know me. It leaves a huge whole. A hole no other person will fill, maybe some are lucky and an uncle for instance can see the father is useless. And helps. But I didn't have that either. I've learnt a lot from your message here and will be this person for my son. Thank you so so much.

Excellent word Brother Green. I am definitely going to get volume two of Authentic Manhood.

This is gold!

Thank God my mother's father was ever present when I was growing up.

This is really good! I had a great Father he taught me so much. But in my teenage years he’s wasn’t around as much. Looking back those were sometimes when I probably needed him most. He is now with the Lord and I miss him often. I’m raising my own boys and I have a lot of tools he left me with to pass on. I also have some lessons learned on how I can be there for my own boys. Biggest gift my Pop ever gave me was leading me to Christ, and some of the last words he told me that I will never forget he said you are a good son. As a 40 year old man that still brought tears to me eyes. Tell your boys you love them and tell your boys they are good boys.

In my story, I learned a lot from a crappy father. I learned how not to be! I always pushed myself hard at what I liked to do to try and get admiration from my dad, which I didnt much get. But it taught me to always push forward no matter what because I then learned self respect, and thats the most important kind! for some individuals, what seems like a not so great dad can be the right dad! everyone is different.

I agree . thank you. God Bless you

And that vacuum or void leads to addictions, not fulfilling your potential, befriending toxic people who use you, shame you and destroy your self esteem. Those of us who didn’t receive these things from our father, need to realize it, then look for good father figures in movies, books, and so on to learn what good fatherhood is like, and then reparent ourselves, be our own father, the father we never had.

Not every Dad knows more than his son(s) and that is why many sons must go there own way. It is then up to us sons to forgive our fathers for they are not at fault. They did the best they could. They just didn’t know how. So teaching goes both ways. Sons teach dads too. Sometimes the son is there because the dad would learn no other way, but than to have the lesson come from his own son. ❤

Amen! Sons are so awesome and we are blessed as dads to have that title Dad wow. And our Daughters I feel so blessed to be called Dad. God bless everyone and hope every man realizes how much God has blessed us Dads:)

All of this stands true for daughters too. My dad was bad with the first four things so I have learned very late in life but number five he is really good at.

Thank sir for taking the time to create this video. Brilliant.

So sad to read about all the men who never heard ‘I love you’ from your dad. This is the biggest problem with society through all the generations. I’ve learned that nobody can give what they haven’t received. I’ve learned to forgive and bless,and that set me free. Heavenly Father has filled the void. (I’m a girl by the way). This is such a wonderful message. Your sons will be forever grateful if you apply these truths. They will be a blessing for generations to come!

My Dad paid the bills, other than that, didn't want to know me. In my mid forties and have learned most of these things by trial and error and life experience.I have a beautiful baby daughter. Hopefully I'll teach what a parent is supposed to be and that she is loved and wanted and to never be afraid.

Thank you Mr. Green. SO MUCH. I have work to do.

Yes. Thank you.

As a guy who got none of these, I can tell you it makes it very hard. This was hard to hear but a good reminder of the importance of what I do daily.

My dad missed out on having a great son, but I will give my son a great father.

Thank You!

Fully agreed with you, sir.

The greatest thing I can say about my dad is that he was a great provider with a great work ethic. Never was late on any bills, fridge may have been empty most days but at least we had a roof over our heads. Thank you whoever invented the sandwich and kool aid 😂

God is a father to the fatherless. It is so amazing

Thank you for this powerful reminder of our influence on future men.

Thank you for some great reminders

I have 4 boys, soon to be 5. I am an excellent provider. So was my dad. But my dad and I had relatively few real emotional bonding moments. I wanted to do better in that department for my kids. For a while I did, but now all I do is work to keep up with my responsibility to provide. When I was younger (and poorer) my oldest son got a part of me that my younger ones aren't getting now. And that hurts me tremendously. But I don't know how to break this cycle without harming their standard of living.

Dear lord please guide my son through the darkness and into the light and help him through these challenges he is up against amen ❤❤❤🎉

Thank you, extremely important! Passing to all men in my family. We had a great Father.

Being the father we 'never' had.. cheers to all strong and proud father, trying to be the best that they can..

Well you made me bawl like baby. Funny thing is both my father and I are atheists, but he gave me every one of those qualities. I lost him way too early at 63, but his legacy lives on in me. He taught me your life is a book, it’s up to you too make it one worth reading. I’m a veteran served 24 years. I’ve seen the sunset over the pyramids and the sunrise over the Hindu Kush mountains north of Bagram Afghanistan both memorable, amongst many other memorable sites. I’ve made him proud, and a pretty good read as well. A father is just as important too a daughter as well. It’s her first impression of what a man is supposed to be.

My father hated me. He was the worst person I’ve ever met. He was a narcissistic controlling psychopath. We had numerous arguments and fist fights. Needless to say I left when I was 15. I was emancipated by the court. He was a pig until the day he died. Nobody could stand him so I had to take care of the estate. In his back closest I found a note he had written to me in the 1990’s describing exactly how much he despised me. It was disgusting. It was titled, “please read over my death bed.” When my son was 16 I let him read this letter and told him that I loved him and the abuse stopped here with me. I had made a choice when he was little to be the exact opposite of my father. We make sure that we never forget this behavior stops with him and I. We refuse to allow this to continue through us.

Great video and very well said! A very good reminder for us all in this busy fast paced world we live in.

My son gets EXACTLY this. We are truly blessed to have each other. I needed to hear this.