Thank You Sir

I would love for you to explore the physiological similarities that might be seen in narcissistic/psychopathic brains.

Hi Darren, I'd like some tips on getting to a place of acceptance because holy moly I'm not there yet. I understand the dysfunctional dynamic in my family and that it revolves around my mother. *But how can I accept it? how can I know what I know and be at peace with it?* be like, yeh, ah sure they're flawed but aren't we all. How can I get to that place of insouciance. Excuse my French.

I've had 18 months of therapy. I think I was boring myself talking about it. So I took a break. I have been practicing self-compassion from the work book my therapist recommended and it has helped a bit I think. But I'm not there yet. It still hurts. I only have one life and I'm furious that my parents are causing me to live it in pain.

Acceptance is a topic I’ll be discussing in a future video so stay posted. I hope you find it helpful

behaviour

Yes!!!

Fantastic! I’m happy for you! 🌺🌸🌷🌺

Mannn I can relate to that

That’s the same thing that happened to me too except it was my “foster” mom. She told me to never contact her again

That's what I deal with Sorry means Sorry for your luck (their words)

Or try to at least. If others see through their attempts, they won't be successful.

100%!! Spot on

My ex would wait days after an argument then accuse me of saying things that I never said.

My friend's ex boy friend tried to turn us against her instead he got a flurry of nasty texts from us in support of her. Uk

Agreed, coz all the time it's not their fault.. always blaming you for everything. Better avoid them at all costs. I experienced this from my ex before and it was horrifying and actually destroyed my self esteem and created doubts in myself

Absolutely. Don't tell them you're leaving and don't look back. This is the most dangerous time of your life with a narcissist. They can easily become violent if they think they are losing control over you.

Absolutely!

Hard to accomplish when it’s your adult child. I cut her off for 2 years..that helped, but I have to maintain control as the mother, make her stay in the boundaries I set, and shut her down when she tries to manipulate again or blame others. I read a lot to understand the devastation she created, figuring it out was incredibly helpful and it allowed me to regain control of the situation.

My oldest daughter blew up the family emotionally in 2016 and it was everyone else except for her. I stopped all communication until the end of 2018. That helped incredibly, and in that time I read, I searched, I listened and I learned. When I finally said I would talk to her on my terms it was with strong boundaries that I maintain..and it’s a constant vigilance. I stop communicating when she steps over the line. She tried to turn her siblings and my best friend of 35 years against me to isolate me, it failed thank goodness. It also showed her hand to everyone at the same time and that was what made the difference. It’s been 5 years and it still requires that I not allow her an inch, it took a long time to see my triggers and not let her use them. It’s very hard, a million tears cried trying to figure her out. She was not coddled or spoiled and no other narcissistic or covert-aggressive behavior in the family. She didn’t show this behavior at all until she started succeeding in her career in her 20’s and it worsened as her weight went out of her control. Don’t give up, please read..listen..learn. You have to regain your place as the mother, not their child, if you’re dealing with the narcissist child..that’s what I’ve learned.

Me too…Great way to describe a personality trait using only 8 words. Was 😂..

That is a ridiculous analogy. There are physical reasons for enuresis, one of which is abuse. It is an ignorant comment.

Oh! Is that why trump wears a diaper? Lol.

women

Wow, that hits the nail right on its head.

a very true statement , such very sad individuals they must be when they are alone

Well if you are such an awful person, you did them a favour! So they shouldn't complain to others if you go no contact. That proves they are the problem. Can't get over no!

Exactly.

Yes, they bad mouth you to your kids.

@@georgesontag2192 And defame us in their negative comments to everyone they meet that mention us. Many see the agenda they have. We have one great advantage, they are predictable, we KNOW how they will act. We can predict that there will always be the same problems. We may talk ourself out of our gut feeling, we shouldn't.

Yep your right. Exclude them and leave them out. They get slowly cut off until you’ve completely disconnected.

You're absolutely right..I've found that too brings me so much peace🤗...your hopes and dreams💕 are their nightmares💔.. ...peace of mind is so amazing after dealing with narcissist aka control freaks🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️family members..as it been said when one person is happy😆😁 another person is mad😠😡...its sad we cant be happy together as family.. When that cant happen its time to step back out of the nonsense...bc its a merry- go- round....never stopping unless you stop it...stay alert to the craziness of 👪 family members...

When they ask, "What's new?" I say, "I have nothing new to report." It gets boring really fast, but it works for me.

They will make some up anyway :D

?Who made them sick?

the relief comes with heart break especially when it is with family but it is liberating.

This is so, so true!

yes, shut them out and don't deal with them again.

@rozwood1668 I've felt extremely relieved when highly narcissistic individuals have stopped contact, or avoid me, especially when they're the types who are vindictive! I've found that it's often more difficult with "partners" and family members, depending on the person and situation, though. ❤

I'm cutting ties with my brother and his girlfriend I'm done yep I'm literally a slave here in gonna pack and leave I'm done

Open Season.

true

"I need to be able to control you to survive."

My mother and brother treat me like I’m their possession, without any rights 😭😭

In my case, and as I tried to explain to my ex and my "mom", when they say "I love you", it simply means "I love the way you love me". They are NOT capable of loving anybody. They get angry when they lose their victim. My 2 cents.

So true. Absolutely truth. Eventually they will bring it up again or do it again ,then it starts all over again.

mom and ex!!😂😂😂😂💔💔life

I have had this too just a sarcastic soooorrrry

They WILL NOT go "deeper" , because it is far too painful for them - it may break them psychologically, truth be told. Most of their behavior is based on the SPIRIT OF FEAR. And fear is one of the most powerful demonic spirits in the satanic/demonic hierarchy . Yes, it is every bit demonic, nothing less.

I hope Will Smith sees your video. He might be able to distance himself from his narcissist wife once he sees her in a rational way free from her controlling emasculation and destructive behavior. You described her to a tee.

😂😂😃

They never wrong

Blame shifting, deflection. Never accepting accountability.

I know. Me, too ! Toooo hilarious !

@@HT-sg9pl How about this ? " I'm not always right but I'm never wrong " She meant it, even when she tried to make me think she was joking.

A narcissist is controlling berates you run as fast as you can

I had to file divorce, her boyfriend is HIV positive. Then I allowed a reschedule of her first missed appointment. That's when false accuse & using that boyfriend as her false witness happened. She answers the filing with that word "cruelty". She had to know how that would effect me, either that or both came together with the strategy. Make her look like poor abused little old me. Disproving lies with a witness is far too expensive. Still guilty on paper here.

"I'm sorry IF you feel that way about it, but you should listen to me", "I'm sorry IF you think of me that way, but you're wrong", "I'm sorry IF you got offended, but that's the way I speak" - the list never ends. Also "Thank you, glad you listened to my advice", "Thank you, I could've done it myself", "Thank you, I've seen others do this too".

Omg, happened exact same thing with me.

@@sixten8493 Spot on!!

I was told, " I'm sorry if you feel that way."

This is what I received from my narc today, its like your message., I have applied for divorce. " I am sorry again, please forgive me if I did anything to upset you." Yes, IF ? What is that!

What ever they do, is an act. The next person that sees them gets a different act. .....somehow they know they are the only person in the world who knows all they know and are dead serious................its a cliche now but look how our last "president" pulled this know it all act non stop. The only truth was out of his mouth. Only he could fix it.............usually fixing a problem he totally created.

And even if they do apologise… they never mean it

They will twist it and accuse you of what they are doing. They never admit they did anything.

Their apology is usually to shut you up

Mine would apologize, anf love to play the remorseful victim. „I am sorry, I was wrong. I know I am not perfect. Now you HAVE to forgive me, take me back, apologize for your part, not remind me EVER about the many horrific things I did to you and pretend they never happened and accept part blame as YOUR behavior drove me to it…

Lol

sometimes i mean, it is the blankets fault ok. cause i just wanted to lay dwn n b warm n snuggly n then boom i woke up 14 hrs later

beautiful saying I will create war with sibling if you use this one 😂

Great analogy

Lol true 👍 🤣 😆 😅 😂 😄

Sometimes... They can change that if they see people recognize it's going on.

It's so gradual, isn't it? That why my "mother" is blocked by most of the family, and also why I'm single for the rest of my life too

Good on you both and not regretting the decision at all is a sure sign that it was the right one, which I can relate to! 🙂

She had the worst selection of friends unless it was guys. Divorced Single Moms, Sisters that used/twisted husbands around, never teaming with them & divorcing or killing them off. The guys were like always taking her away, life in his car. It wouldn't ever end. Meanwhile I'm working & building constantly. Years of this, then Entitlements time, boyfriend sees his cut.

Have the similar experience with narcissist husband getting divorced now. Feeling better but worried about the kid who behaves the same. Always gaslighting on the kid too. Don’t know how to protect from his manipulation with the kid. Any thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you

Always!

@@NickyM_0 God bless you 🕊️🍀🙏Hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now

@@evelina787 Thank you for those blessings! And you too! 💕😍💐🌻

@@NickyM_0 So thoughtful & kind🕊️👍🍀🙏Praying God gives you the best bec@use you deserve 🕊️👍🍀🙏

aren't all the people commenting on this video also playing the victim card?

Or with a borderline

On a similar note: Best advice I got? "if you're in a situation and you see people doing or saying things that they want to guilt you or make you angry, leave. Doesn't matter if it's family or friends....just leave. There's no law that says you have to sit there and take it".

When the Narcissist has your son and your grandchildren whom she has not allowed you to see until she feels she has the apology she deserves ( she being the arbiter of that apology) there really is no hope.

@@muskokamike127

@@muskokamike127 So true !!! Just leave ,and never ever look back .Freedom 🤩

There's an old blues song you'll love, the main lyric to Google says... "Life will be better, when you're not in it!" Very cathartic song, the ultimate for letting go! 😂❤

I have one like this. She's 84 now and I hope she lives to be 100 as she's so miserable.

The world doesn't make any sense anymore.I told myself evil people - Luceferians - are in master control. Now ,when i see some people being mean ,cruel , unnatural,i think they are demon possessed.( Thats the only way i can make sense of things .) You're MIL is demon possessed . I think.

Yes, they chip away at you constantly. and when the straw breaks the camels back and you react, they become the victim and blame you. I lived it.

@@spir5102 God bless you 🍀🙏I'm happy that it's now pssed tense "lived it" so you're not living,,, it 🍀🙏God bless you & hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now

I got involved with a narcissist at work and it cost me my job and my mental health. She started hanging out with a coworker literally a week after I threatened to just be friends if she didn’t stop. She reacted by luring me in further before pulling the rug out

@@ArcanumAscent So sorry to hear this Seems she ws trying to mnipulte & control, & intimidte you Truly hope you're in a much better sitution now, God bless you 👍🍀🙏

@@evelina787 thanks I’m still in a bad place but working on it

ngl I shoulda done this, but the way I did go out was awesome. I basically lashed out at him for not apologizing for rude things he said in the past, he didnt completely own up to them ("I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I didn't realize I was hurting you"), you know, that B.S, and I lashed out more remembering more things he needed to apologize for. Fast forward to later, and he made me apologize for doing that, but when he was scolding me I realized that I mustve really gotten into his head because he did this whole victim routine where he said "I never did anything wrong to anyone' and "you dragged me through the mud." Although at face value these things could be upsetting, in hindsight I was amused. I really did hurt his ego by yelling at him over text, huh? lol. Anyway, this was unrelated but your list reminded me of that. Narcissism is a hell of a drug, haha

Depart without a word. That thing you thought was a person, wasn't. It's not worth talking to. Cut the memory. Extinguish the hold it has on your imagination.

Cut All ties with them! Clean break & they don't need an explanation because they won't get it and they will turn on you and also play the victim.

I like your plan, I would've thought almost the same steps.

Excellent answer.

Like Jesus said, it's like pouring hot coals all over them lol

That can be dangerous, as they get more violent seeing you happy. There goal is to have you below them at all times, and you being happy will make them do anything to bring you down, including threatening your life.

Best to keep quiet.

That is so true and a true sickness. They can never self reflect, in which there is no growth. Goodbye!

My response the last time I heard this false apology was "You can't apologize for my feelings, you can only apologize for your actions."

@@AnnieAtRecess I've said that too but then they say they're sorry I feel that way. It's like Grandma's nightgown -- it covers everything. Absolute frustration.

The "apology" I always got was...... *"Well, I'm SORRY you don't want to hear the TRUTH!"* Yeah right, they are wonderful because in their twisted, toxic view they are "helping" you for your own good. They think they deserve a medal or something.

It's has become very interesting to me how a narcissist never takes responsibility for the hurt and pain they cause in a relationship. I don't have a problem of him slandering or shaming me thru family or his friends (and if he did do this it would have no affect on me). He is not computer literate and doesn't use a cell phone. The challenge is getting him to go.

Yet here you are, 34 years later, still talking about her lol

@@Tre16 I pretty much talk about whomever i want when ever i want but thanks for your input. Lol

I'm on year 10 with the love of my life after 8 years of hell with my narcissistic ex-husband.

@@Tre16 Topic of the video - Narcissistic people What he talked about - A narcissistic person What traits are you displaying right now - Read the title

Lol 😂

I am with you. My hardest part was when I realized that my mother, did not nor would ever truly love me as a maternal mother loves. Also how many lies that were surrounding me about myself and those around me.

For me it was hardest when i looked back in my life as a little kid with my memories with my mum, it felt false now and fake

This is what I am going through lately. So many things I regretted, but now realize that my mother caused/controlled.

Can any of you share what happened in your life that finally broke through and made you realize your mom was a narcississt? And more so, once realized, what made you decide to endure the wrath of separating yourself?

@@cindybaker7153 how did you come to realize this? Before you realized it, were you oblivious to her behavior?

Oh my gosh. Thanks for sharing. This is so profound. Their ability to “walk around” or talk around any scenario is so convincing, so credible. These people work their magic on others, captivating them, while to the horror of the victim, who is left without support or defense in this exchange. Imagine this happening in the courtroom. The victim of the abuse is now victim of a wrongful judgement in a legal matter. A victim without friends , as the narc sways their minds. A victim without their children, as the kids have been manipulated by the narc to despise the “wrong” parent. This parent with every awful characteristic projected onto them by the narc. This is my life!

A perfect description of an evening a few years back when i confronted her .. you have to be there and see it to believe it .. they will swear black is white .. truly sad people .. but not my problem anymore .. I thank god for having enough about me despite the drip drip abuse affect to call her out and be strong .. thats when you realise they are actually very very weak people and only give off an aura of strength.

IT'S SO TRUE!!!

Janice Walker ooouu..this touched my soul

People have used this exact quote to describe Trump, who was also a narcissist.

Well done you.

I knew what the word means but didn't know it is a mental disorder or so prevalent until about 8 years ago. So much fell into place with that knowledge. For instance,i have a sister who isnt nice looking but she thought she was beautiful. She was the oldest and sneaky pet. While i - the scapegoat- had all my self esteem gone by adulthood. I just thought my sister didnt suffer verbal abuse, therefore she had oodles of self esteem. I was the smartest and the prettiest and didn't have a clue until i was 60 years old !!!!

yes… make sure legally you aren’t responsible for her as she ages … as an only child I was still held legally responsible for her care as an elder … it was my worst nightmare come true … I did the right thing but had no choice being the last living child … protect yourself based on your states laws .

I told one that I literally don't care what he says about me or to who, which was true, but I am just not putting up with manipulative behavior.

or the '' you are so ungrateful ! ''

@@kitkatt6357 So true!

My mother ... to a T 🙄

@@kitkatt6357 yes... "after all I've done for you" 😒

Cripes! At least the leopard showed its spots so vividly!

OMG my mom actually said the same thing to me! She couldn't stand the fact that I won't answer my phone till 8:00 am. She asked about emergencies and I told her that's the only reason to call before 8. Of course she still tried, and I didn't answer.

My mother.... "No? What do you mean no? You don't tell me no!!!" Later.... "I don't remember that." Or... "I didn't/never said that." We haven't spoken in 6 years. It's been nice!

What about throwing herself on the floor and say that she needs medical help???? I am a man and it happened to me. I was an only child. My dad did not know how to handle her.

A girl I recently dated told me “you will NOT add things up in regards to me anymore!” and in response to her ever-changing stories. Human cancer.

I LOVE MYSELF 💕🥰The BEST I Can And Keep IT Moving.... IT'S ABOUT TIME Done With The Ungrateful.

So very true. You can not change them. 😢

Love them from a distance.

Interesting...

I'm going fishing.

Alice, I am 5 years behind you and had the exact same sequence of events. Father, husband (25 years) and a partner who dumped me for someone else in our social circle after 7 years. I thought he was my soulmate at long last and was truly devastated when he literally exchanged me for her. I started putting together the pieces afterwards and discovered common threads throughout all the relationships, behaviours which I thought were normal (having being raised by a narcissistic father). Only after the last breakup did I learn about narcissism and NPD. At last it all makes sense and at 65 I too am ready to take on the rest of my life with a new enthusiasm. I feel so empowered by this knowledge. FYI my dad just passed away 2 months ago at 94. He was a larger than life character who overcame terrible childhood trauma, accomplished much in his life and was admired by many. But he had another side to him... for example, I found out that he cheated on my mother who was a saint of a woman, whom he loved and relied on for so much. Perhaps not so strangely, I don't miss him but feel truly peaceful and at ease for perhaps the first time in my life.

@@catbirdler I find it so sad that so many people suffer at the hands of narcissists and feel that they are in some way inadequate or to blame when truth is they are not. Cindy I wish you a very happy future hold your head high because you got through it. Believe in yourself and be proud of who you are - a kind and lovely lady who deserves to be loved with kindness. All the best from Alice.

This is so empowering, Alice. I’m 40. Thank you so much for inspiring and sharing. My father is a narcissist and I’ve recently broken ties. Have been fortunate enough not to seriously date or marry a narcissist because my father’s actions made me hyper sensitive to any issue or any sign someone gives me. Which is a whole issue within itself! Anyway, thank you.

I am 63 and feel the same about my sibling. It was only in the past year, after the death of our father, we quit speaking again and for me, it's the very last time. Life is too short for all that misery. I choose happiness and positivity, no more narcissistic crap! I cannot believe how long it took me to decide enough was enough, no more. I wish you the very best and much happiness due to your choice, congratulations! It is not easy but I know you will find true happiness within yourself and thrive! Please Everyone, Be Safe, Healthy, Happy and most important; Be Kind - Kindness Counts. (p,s, being kind does not mean we become pushovers, ever again!)

Alice wishing you a peaceful healthy happy future xxx

Nothing in the water. Pure choice. They likr many others all over chose from a young age to live their lives from a place of self-pity and and victimhood. Weak and shallow with zero self respect started early and only ends with their death.

Ask them what they see in the mirror every day and they'll try to brush it off/make excuses for it. I've had teenage kids that tried pulling the narcissistic card on me multiple times when I worked in a grocery store. Some of them realized real quick that I wasn't going to take that kind of crap from them and changed their attitude fast.

Narcissists' never........never........ never admit their faults. Noooooo........

they might admit them...so that they can do it all over again....

Too bad we have video cameras and audio recorders in our pockets.

Yep. My mother - to a T

You're lucky if that's all that happens. My boyfriend beat me when he even thought I wasn't under his control.

I wasn't lucky. I was pushed out of a moving vehicle by him. He left me on the side of a busy highway. He did this in the presence of my toddler.

And then expect you to apologise nick

@@MoonwolfeConsultingThe equivalent of 2 criminal Nazis & narcopathic bros. 💔😭🇺🇸 My 💚 and Blessings to you sister.

Same here. I watched many videos but this was the one that encapsulated exactly why and how these covert narcissists are basically max evil.

Sorry they got caught.

Low Bro I know them personally. They are not born this way. They choose to be selfish over and over again until they have morphed themselves into soul-less monsters. I don’t have sympathy for creeps anymore. Sorry if I struck a chord.

Not born this way. Narcissism is usually a result of abuse or the cycle of narcissism in the family tree. At some point, in the generations, it gets broken.

Liz Alleman The “experts” say it’s caused by abuse. I disagree. I have to say that is not what I’ve seen at all. So far the ones that I know, have been able to control their entire family with manipulation and were given everything they ever wanted. They were the catered to kings and queens of their families. They became used to that. They now see people as objects to be used as they see fit. They never learned empathy and they never learned remorse. Little kings and queens grew up to be big kings and queens. Their thinking is: I do no wrong. I am always in the right. I am better than everyone else. It is irrelevant what other people’s feelings are. The world and everyone in it is here to serve me and give me what I want but I can’t actually let people know that so let me create this fake nice personality so that I can draw them in. Then the manipulations and the deceptions begin. They literally create a personality that comes across as humble and nice. It’s a complete farce. Of course I’m talking about the covert narcissists. They are about as dangerous as can be.

@Low Bro are you a Narcissist ?❤

Yeh same here. I moved to another country to get away from him! Three years later he still tries to contact me...ever 30 days or so he will try and call to see if I have unbocked him🤣..I get those blocked notifications. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@@jayf295 literally same constantly leaving voicemails even when blocked

@@megalightsfan4948 I have had all the bells and whistles with him. Straight from the book. It took me 3 years to finally go no contact and block him. Going on 7 months now uninterrupted. I wish I could tell other victims just how healing no contact is.

Yes that's exactly what my narcissist did. He still stalks me 33 years and 2200 miles later.

@@karlabritfeld7104 Oh God! I pray that I dont have that outcome! Get sick just thinking about it🤢

Those feelings you mentioned are the ties that bind you to your suffering. You MUST sever them, cut contact, walk away and NEVER look back. It is the ONLY path to victory when dealing with narcissists...

Have left, October just gone. It’s the emotional feelings of love, caring ect that are still all over the place. @@Markyrvxf

My former best friend, come to think of it i reckon he was bit of a narc. I didn't think it at the time but now going through what his behavioural patterns were like i firmly believe it now

You are not alone…. Im done with the toxic mother daughter relationship. My peace is well more worth it!

@@twanamccord411 Same here. Been close to three years now, I'll never live under anyone's thumb like that again, it's been so wonderful to live honestly and free of hostility.

I would maybe never have seen my mother for narcissist she is, if it wasn't for my father's passing. People who have "normal" mother will never be able to understand/relate. It's ok to leave and protect yourself, good luck and don't fall back into trauma bond.

she poisons anyone we mutually know. And I have taught myself not to mind.

They have such wonderful moms, I get why they don’t get it.

I understand you might hurt because of her but as a mother I know how it feels when you far from your own Kids & leave you like strangers! instead of doing that, why don't you tell her how you feel & talk about it? I know most of Americans leave early it's because they got job or successful life the way i grew up, isn't like that they don't get out from There Parents house before they get Married! In US When they start living life easily & get everything they want after that they Complain & forget everything what they're parent Sacrifice for them! I'm in this situation so I know how it hurts so much 😢 and When you going to have a child, you might understand how it feels!

@@Metasebiya4 With all due respect, you must not have any idea how vicious and evil these narcissistic mothers can be. And maybe you don't understand that THEY NEVER CHANGE, they only get worse. And maybe you don't understand that the wounds they inflict are so deep, it changes a person. And perhaps you don't understand...they have ZERO compassion, even on their own kids. And maybe you have never heard, they are like vampires that suck your blood at any given chance. And one more thing, maybe you are not aware that too much abuse is not enough abuse according to a narcissist.

The victim side always sucks, especially if the Narc is a family member. Hopefully, she will sober up as she ages before it's too late. Wishing you a pleasant good post Narc life.

14 years since any contact with mine - definitely much better off.

@@Metasebiya4 You understand a parent's feelings but Alex is a *victim* of a parent. If your mother was a spider, would you crawl onto her web so that she could eat you alive? Does a narcissistic parent have any shame or guilt or sympathy for mistreating a child? A narcissistic parent with any level of remorse should see that the end of the relationship is the result, the consequences of the abuse. No more guilt-tripping the adult child, who is finally free from the parent.

I've had similar experiences. It's good that it won't hurt your legal rights unless you ended up having to go to court. So, you can still live your life like a normal citizen after you get away from that relationship and have time to recover.

@@tylerhorn3712 anything to excuse her terrible behavior, and put it on me. She even went so far as to tell my relatives lies about imaginary scenarios in which I looked crazy. She told them I was a nazi. I turned my back on 90% of the family, they had nothing for me other then contempt. No one questioned the Queen Bee's narrative.

Did she drug you to

@@seancollins9745 she tried, I refused rhe Ritalin

Yes I loved my mum she is not with us now. I was taken to see a physiatrist as had an accident that maid me faint. She thought I was pretending and so she took me to the Dr Dr said there was nothing wrong with me and I was very sensible but wanted to see my mother instead.

i find very sad, but unfortunately our sadness matters first

Best advice! I've cut out my parents from my life forever. Now I finally can live my life in peace.

Yep. EMAILS ONLY, with my abusive narc sister, NO phone calls.

Wow, sounds like you're talking about my marriage.

@briantaylor709 that too. A record is a record.

My mother in-law was also a covert narcissist. She kept up appearances but in reality she was a mean spiteful controlling bitch. When she got Alzheimer’s it got worse to the point she was physically and emotionally abusing my father in-law, wife and even my kids. She’s dead now and hopefully burning in hell for the terrible things she did.

Omg this video made me think of my Mom too. My Mom also does the thing of she's "just worried about me" plus telling others that. I'm 54! I also still get a feeling of tension and fear if anyone tells me they Love me. Nice, huh? What bothers me most is relatives or close friends who RECOGNIZE she's messed up but still don't understand or won't believe me about exactly how messed up she is. Or why I won't deal with her because of it plus have tried MANY times to just have a "nice" relationship with her. "Yeah, she's controlling but she's just worried about you." "Sure, she's intrusive, but it's just because she cares." "Yes, she's hard on you sometimes but think of what she's been through." Nope, nope, and NO! Love and light to you! And anyone else dealing with a relative like this. ❤💕💞😎🎶 (I'm LC by the way but she's stirring up trouble AGAIN. My next step might be to move and cut all ties. Sad.)

you are not alone in this, what this guy is saying is my mother 100%

This happened to me growing up.

Remember we are all loved even when alone or in toxic company,

Wish I could find normal people, whatever that entails.

Totally agree.

Amen

@@endeavouringit normal people are emotionally heathy unlike a narc

Not in my experience...where do YOU live?!

They always do covert acts of garbage… you can’t trust them everything is a lie I’m just getting over my abuse life is changing ..

I can relate to this behaviour. Thanks to these video, DEEP technique is KEY

I met narcissistic people like that and yeah they made rumors about me but I'm happy I know they r not too happy with their lives.😂😂😂😂😂

Going through this now from a boss. I am respectful but distance myself. Not sure about the rumors but his flying monkeys are coming around. I give him nothing.

@@talktothehand2012 dealing with a Male boss where he is in control that would suck .. feel sorry for you

Imagine how much unemployment they create worldwide. Still they get hired...

They. Will. Make. You. Pay!

@@wayneelliott1180 they won't if you tell on them. If you keep quiet yes they will. Psychopaths have the fear of getting caught that's why some think it's paranoid schizophrenia it isn't.

RIGHT. OMG. SPOKEN LIKE A PRO!!!

Yes. How dare you.

So true.

Me too. 5,000 miles away.

I was part of a narcissistic family. Mother, brother and three sisters. What a mess! Once I realized what's going on. I am truly free now and at peace.

It has taken me 60+ years to realize my mom and sister’s behavior wasn’t normal.

@@bethhenkelman5249 54+ years for me - My mother (covert narc) and brother (overt). Father was overt, but died when I was 9. When you grow up inside these dysfunctional families - it's all you know. Went no-contact 4 years ago - wish I'd done it 30 years earlier. They can derail the scapegoat's life...

I was raised the same. My life became so peaceful starting immediately after cutting ties with them. They all died within a short time of my walking away. Guess they couldn't take it after 60 years of using me as the blame catcher for all their problems.

You are far from alone. I simply spoke up about a pervert MILLIONAIRE narcissist taking my 3 yr old g.son into a dark closet w/a camera & glow toys 1st time babysitting 1st time alone 1st time @ the house alone as soon as Mommy left. Nobody talks to me now. APPARENY LOTS OF SECRETS!!! Its been hard but THE TRUTH SET ME FREEEEEEEE!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸 sacrificing their children for $$$$$ Step 1 Im powerless STEPS 2-12 God is not. I do my part 1 day. 🙏 "They wet the bed n blamed the blanket." This video is the most accurate. THANK YOU!!

@@guntcheck *NARCISSIST DETECTED.

Same situation with me..I know what the root problem is with the family..It's from their being sexually abused as kids.. When I bring it up they run like scared kids..It's sad because they have been conditioned to never face and deal with pain.. They're especially my mother are forever trapped in the horrors of their childhoods..They honestly never grew up..I'm upward and onward but still have a strong sense of retribution against my mother for pain she inflicted on me and my father

Clint Barr… yeS me as well ahhhhhh 🙈😂

YES! you try talking specific about something that upset you and she tells me "do you know how often you do something that upsets me?" but its the same 2 general idea things for the past 5 years so

My daughter put my husband in jail because she lie on him saying that Ihe he rape her she lie God will pushisher her she took my husband away because she was jealous of me and her father realthship

@@emmaswain3084 ahhh the classic "one upper" ... Always has to one up your story or compare herself to whatever you're talking about.

That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with that from your mother. That sounds extremely difficult. My heart goes out.

When I finally got into the same situations my mother used to complain about, all I could see is how her constant abuse led me to grossly overcompensate and now I give way too much credence to others when I deserve some respect for my work.

Unbelievable! How is anybody born without nurturing instincts? It is possible had you not moved out and she was unable to break you, she might have murdereed you.

@lo ro me too left at 17, I never got the love & attention that I needed I am 42 now still single, no kids, always attracting toxic relationships and non committed people. I feel very isolated and no friends. I am social and I get along with many people but all on a distance. It has been a very long and bumby road Sometimes I am so fed up by trying and fighting. What about you?

@@jillmariaplatteaux6083 That is also something I can relate to. I grew with an extremely narcissistic mother who had and still has no insight into into her affliction. Trusting others and making friends is hard and yet I'm perfectly contently living alone. I have one good friend in the whole state of NM I see often and might move closer to eventually.

@@jillmariaplatteaux6083 I dumped the toxic momma clone and got a dog. Then I got really selective. I don't understand why those women think I am easy. I play the game until get tired of her brand and the dog and I continue our relationship. The dog is a good judge. After the 3 or 4th time she is around, I watch the dog. If the dog is not with it when she shows up. She is most likely toxic.

I sincerely hope you are in a better place now

Same here, I couldn’t cut off, it’s how Indian families works, but my daughter did send them running

Happened me kicked him out 3 weeks ago blocked him from all devices and social media. Trying to get my mind straight. It's horrible

Thank you. I'm on the edge. I hate this mother fucker. I'm gonna flip out and jump

@@vetaanselmo5080 sending love ❤️

Bravo 👏 for you! Don’t look back! Love and live your own life and the fun memories you will create and generate! BRILLIANT synopsis by you! Again 👏 bravo!

Had pretty much the same, how she would bad mouth previous people she had relationships with & told lies about. Even an X husband got her venom & i worked out most were lies, i then thought this wont end well for me, even her Dad warned me about her history!. I got the hell out & never looked back

And hopefully wiser !

Heathcliffe,"""that happened to me too.so I woke up one morning and thought bugger it,if any of my family or friends believe their lies and not come and clear it up with me,ask my side of things,then I don't want them in my life if their that shallow minded.

hope u free from her soon, base on my exp, it Never ends. even when she's dead, her legacies(minions who believed her lies) will go on...

When I broke up with my son's father he told everyone that he left me because I had become a lesbian. The people that believe those lies either will eventually come around or continue to stay in the dark. The important thing is that you're free!

Yuuuup. Then call the family and say you assaulted them. Effem

Mine too

Had to go cross country. I know what you mean.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother gives a death sentence to your mental health.

Compliant robot. Good description

Yep... I married one of these people. They promptly sat their butt on the couch and started issuing orders...

I was seeing a man...as the relationship progressed he tried to be more controlling, so I broke it off. That's when the fun began. 🙄 stalking on a scary level. I stood my ground and eventually he gave up, but that was scary...

Ditto, my ex was a very abusive narcissist and would blame it on her bipolar, or other mental health issues, i go to work she'll clai im not working but sleeping around behind her back... despite comming to my work place and seeing me there, then she claim i was only working because of the girls there (what the 50 year old grannies? Lol) i came home from work one day she had downed 6 bottles of wine, smashed the place up, smashed the oven. Her response when i walked through the door and saw the mess "oops" i told her "I'm going out for a walk, i suggest you leave before i get back" The police had been pushing me to press charges for years, but in my head it was her mental health and she needed help not locking up. I bumped into a guy she was staying with after i kicked her out, turns out she did the same to him, heck she even split his lip and stabbed his legs up with a fork all because he didn't have any alcohol to give her while she wouldn't even give him a drag of a cigarette. Yeah won't make that mistake again

@@ewamanda mine had the nerve to “call meetings” when he felt he needed to be heard… lol idiot

@@miapdx503 sure is! Here’s a funny one.. mine abused me… I was bullied and pushed up against the wall stuck in my room … one day finally had enough and hit him.., in the SHOULDER because he was threatening me. He proceeded to call the cops on me, and I’m the mother of his son! (A damn good mother too) I’m so unbelievably grateful he is out of my life … for good!!

I’m dealing with the same. My mother.

It still hurts though. Make sure you are not suppressing pain by substituting other emotions to block out your true feelings. If you need to grieve, don’t stop yourself.

I just started therapy today..third time lucky...I have her worked out for years but I'm using the therapy to help me keep her out this time. The woman is rotten to the core. I hope I can succeed this time. She's started her smear campaign and making horrible accusations against me to other people

I have a very similar story. Its a lose lose situation that you will never win. Accept it and go live life. Plenty of other types of winning to do.

Me too. I just blame women now. They're all the same.

My 88 year old mother has been with my 89 year old father since they were teenagers. I think he finally scared her a couple of weeks ago. He started to physically hurt her ( the years of emotional abuse were horrendous) and she finally saw him the way the rest of us do, and put an end to it. I hope. We have been down a similar road before. My family is hoping that this time she really gets it and won't give him the opportunity to hoover and love bomb her back into it. Mum tried to "see it through" with him. It sounds like you did, Betty. I'm glad you are free.

You deserve a medal for staying with him all that time. Enjoy the rest of your days. You will get a reward in heaven!

I celebrate my freedom day every year (the day my mother died) with a nice treat for myself. It was a long wait for freedom, she died almost 4 years ago at 92. I'm 72 now & every day is a blessing.

Live long and prosper Betty.

You seem like a old bag of bones.

Absolutely, I just cut my sister off 3 months ago, such peace, im making good choices, meeting up with friends, and getting along lovingly with my grown kids.... My sister was a BOSS all these years... At last I did it!!

Good for dude , its been 6 years for me not having contact with mine , best decision ever.

This is really encouraging thank you I needed to see this. I had to do the same thing. She told me im gaslighting and emotionally abusive towards her.. funnily enough she started saying this after I didn't agree with the way she's treatment our family. As soon as I don't agree with something she says then she says which much assurance that I am gaslighting her & shifting her reality.. just because I have an opinion that isn't what she wants to hear. She's gone through our whole family and turned people against each other, called everyone an abuser and destroyed people's reputation. I snapped and said I just can't allow her to do this anymore, and as soon as I said that then guess what? Im an abuser too!

You’re not Cynthia Fortier’s sister, by any chance?

As Doctor Ramani said: the only way to not deal with a narcissist is to not have them in your life.

Oh my LORD!! That would NOT be okay with me! Yeah, you DON'T have to be around someone who doesn't respect your beliefs and, in turn, you. And being a Christian myself, I understand the protectiveness you probably have over God, and the obligation you feel to stand up for Him, and the possibility of planting that mustard seed, but sometimes people's hearts are so hardened that they're lost forever. I believe that God understands that sometimes defending Him will make them be even worse and that's difficult for us to withstand feeling helpless, and won't hold it against us to let their words fall on deaf ears. After all, we shouldn't cast our pearls before swine. It's hard to remember (and annoying) they're accountable for their own actions, but we're still accountable for what they provoke us to say and do. Might as well let them burn by themselves and not drag us with them.

Good for you! That is hard to do with a narcissistic parent (I have one), but so much healthier (physically and spiritually) for you!

My narcissist was a phony christian also, used it to try to distract people from what she really was. an incredible hypocrite, liar, abuser,........

Also had a narcissistic mother (and a narcissistic father, but completely different variety of narcissist). It's weird how they use these hollow ideologies to deceive not only others but also themselves. She was a divinity major who left christianity to pursue this weird new agey "inter faith" bullshit because she thought if she made it look like she was accepting of all faiths it would make everyone accept her and see her as like mother theresa or something. Had loads of bullshit self help books like the secret to reassure her of her personal godhood and what positive spiritual energy she had even though she was toxic and manipulative as hell. She refused to take my dads last name and when they divorced she took all his money and opened a charitable foundation under her own name and would force family members to write donation letters for charities they didn't give a crap about just because she had this desperate compulsive need to be seen as generous. Forced her children into after school activities we didn't want to do because it was the only way she could insinuate herself into the social circles of the "soccer moms" or "karate moms" because she was incapable of forming lasting connections without that kind of artificial pretext. And she'd often jet off to india or africa leaving us in the care of this abusive jehova's witness babysitter. Every single generous thing she did needed to be photographed, broadcasted, she'd put the entire extended family into email chains. It was clear she cared only about starving children in africa than her own family--not even that, just being seen with them. And the image she portrayed them as was one part pathetic poverty stricken and one part eat pray love spiritual extortion. Fast forward 15 years and of her three children, one of them is dead, committed suicide after moving back in with her... And the other 2 left the country to go live on the other side of the world and get as far away as humanly possible. Because i'm sure if either of us were still around her we'd both want to just die too, because thats how she makes everyone feel. And as far as i'm aware she hasn't remarried or even had a single long term relationship since she divorced my father. She's just as miserable and alone and unseen as she deserves.

@@Ben-rz9cf so sorry for you and your siblings I understand everything you said.

Be careful and learn about yourself because more narcissists will try to make their way to you because there is something in you that they want. Protect yourself and congratulations for getting away!!

Your testimony is EXACTLY what I'm going thru right at this moment except one been with him for 9 years. I've loved him dearly but feel I just cannot allow him to treat me this way anymore. Super hard and depression, doubt in myself, low self esteem, humiliation etc are all taking a huge toll on me.. Thanks for your words because now I don't feel alone. God bless!

Wow! Sounds like my life! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🧿🧿🧿🧿 I wish you a happy, abundant, peaceful and loving life. 💝

@Cherry Girl I lost 7 years to mine. But I try not to think it as 'lost' time. I think of that time as a lesson learned, and a lesson well worth learning, however many years it took. Hope things are going much better for you now. :)

Good

Yes!! Been there. It was horrible.

Also if he is to attached and wants to marry you right away. I love you in 2 weeks. So many other red flags.

are you glad he passed away.

I recognize your feelings of being released from a prison. My husband (we have been together for 8 years) had a histrionic personality disorder and narcissism is part of this disorder. He was not physically abusive but very controlling and always lashing out to me when things went wrong for him. And this was often. His heart stopped during one of his outrages anger moods and that was the end. I do not feel ashamed not being the weeping widow. My life turned for the best and I know what true happiness is.

Omg! I feel the same way, like I'm living in a prison with a verbal, and financial abuser who drinks too much.

The one I was dating long distance.. We were still in love bombing stage and only had met once and it was very intense... After I discovered lies the first time from info online, he had a very convincing story so I believed him he seemed so sincere and genuine on video call... He apologized then and when I said sorry I blocked you, cuz I thought you had lied about everything.. He said "it's ok, sorry I wasnt as forthcoming" i asked him " you mean about not showing me stuff" (cuz i had asked him to show me some ID as proof and he wouldnt) he said yes and for not alleviating your doubts Probably just a fake apology as later I discovered his whole persona was fake, what he had presented me...

Just listen in on a phone conversation, they ask about everyone in your life, your friends life, and THEIR family. ‘Poor so and so, they won’t talk to their sister, brother, cousin, or get new underwear, or play with the black bears.’

Or “sorry for caring/loving too much”

My older brother doesn’t know that I know he’s a narcissist. Since I know that it is really difficult for him to control or manipulate me he doesn’t reach out to me anymore. It’s very sad because we had a tight bond growing up. Knowing him I’m sure he’s still working on a “scheme” to win.

I hate it when they say that " im sorry you feel that way" the other horrible behaviour is when they triangulate you and when you start hurting they say " shes just a friend " he made me so ill.

I'm with my Narc hubs for 46 yrs......I didn't even know what the condition was until 5-6 yrs ago. Unbelievable!

Once me & my ex broke up i lost sooo much weight . (I really looked sick ) i was depressed, wasn’t eating & missed him terribly. When he saw me , & how i wasn’t doing that well without him he had the same sneer on his face . It hurt my feelings cuz I’d never wana see him in distress. It took me a couple years to realize how manipulative he really was to me 🥺

@@ariannqueenn8575 I think that was when I realized how toxic our relationship was. When I tried to hurt him and realized how much it hurt me but I saw when he was hurting me and saw that smile then I knew that he didn't love me. Meaning because I loved him and by trying to hurt him I was also hurting myself so I immediately stopped. I realized then that his feelings for me wasn't love. I am glad you got out, I feel for those who never got out. ❤💔❤🤗

You are a Saint for staying so long. You're a very brave woman 🙏🇦🇺❤👏👏👏

I've been living with an orgre for 26 years, and it's only getting worse.

🙏🏾❤

But narcissists pet and stroke the people they need on their team so they’ll always have fans who won’t realize they treat some people with utter disdain. They look the other way either because they love being pet and fawned over or they don’t want to be the target. I’m sorry for your situation. I know first hand the loneliness narcissists can inflict on you. Let your Dr know you have someone in your life that is undermining your support system. Maybe you can find someone to talk to. Try not to let them live in your head rent free. You need your energy for yourself right now. 🤗

I’m so sorry. 🙏🏻

I like your story ; I’ve been married for 14 yrs to a pure narcissist & myself I’ve been planning my escape with out hurting him or his family ; When I had my awakening it was one thing after another , I got to endure this evil scheme 13 yrs & unless I walk away ( it’s hurts so bad ) why ? He has hit me , choked me , scratched my face with his whole hand twisting around my whole face , my bruises were on my neck & cheeks ; why do some folks stay in this evil for 1 sec ? I stayed mainly for so long is because I believed & thought I was wrong all the time & everything was my fault . The person that told me he promised to ALWAYS always make me smile !! Who in the hell told him he was so special?That would be his 3 family members since his 20 yr old age twins boy girl won’t even call or talk to him ; pretty much staying away ; he can’t even admit that alcohol is his enemy! Everything that I point out he turns it around just like a democrat will do !! I’m a theif ? Liar? Moocher? Lazy ? Judgmental? He tells me to have a heart attack ? List goes on & on & on !! We are finally splitting up & I can’t hardly wait to NOT seeing him asleep on the couch where he sleeps every night ! I want peace love & harmony in my life ; this means I WILL be single for the rest of my miserable life 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤔so I married a human that is not of this world !! They are real demons here on earth !

@@4estdweller4ever thank you so much for your incoureging words..if only i realised earlier the consequences to my life i would have not let ot go on for so long..so its just a warning to others to run fast away from narcissists bec its not worth their lives..

That's the most hurtful part

I have no idea what flying monkeys mean.

The people in your life that believe the narcissist's lies and get them to turn on you and support them. Narcissists aren't happy until they destroy you.

This statement is very true for the victims of the flying monkeys sent by the narcissist.

So true. Being part of a dysfunctional family is similar to trying to escape from a cult. Trying to free yourself of the gaslighting and abuse in various forms that they dished out all the while claiming, "I love you" is beyond crazy making. Over decades I learned that forgiveness to these toxic types is an inlet for more abuse and neglect from them. They never change and expect you to cater to their dysfunction and remain unhappy being in their company all for appearances and "pretend happy families." They leave you with no choice but to leave for your own sanity. However, be prepared for the blame being twisted back onto you for confronting their abuse and walking away for a healthier life. They accuse their chosen scapegoats and truthtellers of being crazy for seeing through the abuse and neglect for what it is. To stay in the abusive situation is counter productive and nobody should feel guilty for setting healthy boundaries against toxic people. Stay strong everyone 🌼