1. Understand their love language ( what they want) 2. Know their family 3. Intellectual connection 4. Don't break God's laws Thank you Dr Chapman...

Bless him and his marriage. Bottom line , a man wants to feel respected and a woman wants to feel cherished.

For you to learn your partner it requires HONESTY of who we are from both parties. Don’t hide who you are in an effort to please the other because once in marriage, the real you will always come out.

"You cannot simulate marriage; marriage is a commitment, not contract..."

"Some are Sunday morning Christians, some are daily devotional Christians..." AMEN 🙌🏻

51 years being married? Damn. He looks young. Bless him and his family.

Here's my two pence: Since nobody is perfect, perfection is not and should never be the point. Therefore, before getting married (1) be ready in yourself to simply make a commitment, (2) be mature enough in yourself to have impulse-control. THAT'S IT. FOR THE REST, YOU JUST GOTTA DO YOUR BEST.

How do u manage anger? How do u process pain? ..... Very important questions u need answers to before marriage. Saves u from being a victim of murder

What I learned. Don’t depend on your spouse for love. They are human and will inevitably fail you. God should be your SOURCE of love that will never fail, deny, or reject you.

This woman is such a good interviewer! This video was both informative, engaging, and fun to watch in a way. She covered so many parts of the book also, I loved this.

LOVE IS STAYING, WHEN YOU DONT HAVE TO.

Dr. Chapman has good energy. I feel good watching and listening to him. Thank you Doctor.

Definitely taking heed... I'm 24.. Trusting god for that right person... Only he knows who's perfect for me.

I think living together takes something away (diminishes) from marriage...To me, its'what makes the beginning of marriage exciting and unfolding. I was 23 and did it before I was christian..By the time we married, I wasn't really excited...think women see it as one step closer to altar. But wouldn't it be better, if the guy proposed beforehand to say, your worth it...Not let me try you out.

My favorite phrase Gary used was, "I was blown out of the saddle!!!" at around the 6:20 mark. Very insightful and helpful video. Definitely going to read your book. Just had my heart broken recently and I decided I needed to focus on being there bride of Christ before being the bride of a man and this video was exactly what I needed to watch today. ♥️🙏🏼

Marriage YOU CAN NOT BE SELFISH ! AND NEED TO BE TRULY READY AND HAVE SELF CONTROL ON EVERYTHING YOU DO

I read this book before marrying my husband. I love it. It's certainly affective.

Its so Interesting to hear about his personal experience in his marriage - and what had to change

I have read this book and it is amazing!! This video doesn't even scratch the surface of the amazing content of this wisdom-filled book. For those of you trying to sum it up in a cutesy little quote, that's nice, but there isn't a magical quote that will help you through your marriage. This book contains practical advice that will help you prevent conflicts and reduce escalation and I highly recommend it to absolutely everyone.

The best thing is to pray for God to send you the right mate of His choosing and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit rather than your own flesh.

That is all common sense to anyone that is even slightly intelligent, however some people might need this. Thankyou for your video.

Just be good friends, love God and be real.

Romantic love doesn't sustain a relationship. It's temporary and euphoric. Learn to speak each other's love language. What makes one person feel loved doesn't necessarily make the other person feel loved. To a lady, telling her you love her might not mean anything unless you help her out whenever she's in need. Get to know his or her family members, you're likely going to have them in your life for live. Such an insightful video.... It blew me out of the saddle.

Wait for the right person, preparing yourself to be the right person also. It’s not always finding the right person, but being the right person.

He sounds exactly like his audio book, exactly! He's such a wise man with great insight❣

I agree w the family part. Family shouldn't be the only reason you do/don't get married, but fitting in with each others' family makes a huge, huge difference. Also look at whether or not your spouse stands up for you in front of their family, or lets them run the show.

I wish I’d NEVER got married. People in the church pushed me to get married to relieve their conscience of me being the pastors son. I was supposed to be married and not single. Had I known what I know now I would had stayed away from church until I was more sure of who I was.

You better find out about that family ,listen to that ,people, I mean it!!!!!!

iving together before marriage is a definite NO NO! RIGHT ON Doctor Chapman.!

I heard a preacher say to a couple who wanted to get married. He told them they would have to wallpaper his kitchen. He said that if you are both still friends after you finish the job then I will marry you all.

marriage starts with trusting God .

I’ve been with my husband 8 years and married almost 3, I still feel a spark excitement and desire and I love that man so much.

People often give up before they get started. The average life span of the obsession is 2 yrs. We have to speak each other's love language. What is she / he into? Golf widow How do u process pain? 20 yr research shows divorce rate HIGHER for those who lived together before getting married: not logical

He’s SO RIGHT about living together first. Even after the vows, the original agreement of just cohabitation seems to linger on.

Most people need to get married and raise a family. Not everybody, but most people do. I love coming home to peace and quiet; I couldn't have that if I'm married. I already have two sides of a family; I don't want two more. I was raised in a family and I'm still taking a break from that. I know how to be miserable all by myself and at a much cheaper rate than two people miserable together. I can deal with the disadvantages of being single better than I can deal with the disadvantages of being married. I like spending time at a library or museum or taking a short road trip and/or getting my news fix or youtube channels dealing with economics or cars. I don't care about living in a house, I'm not that talkative in addition to being a total introvert as well as probably having asperger's. Most normally socially developed people should spend the time and effort to find the right person to marry and work at it for the rest of their lives. I've heard it can be extremely fulfilling.

Wow, I went on my 1st date last weekend and we already discussed all the important questions... it just came naturally to us. Very imformative and a comfortable conversation in the least.

I guess it's okay if we don't have enough plan about everything because marriage is not all about the happy moments that you've shared together, but it's all about how you face all the trials and challenges that you've encountered and learned from all the mistakes that you had.

He’s so right about it all!!!

Sunday morning Christians and daily devotional Christians is the difference between Christians and Christ followers. Great advice! Marriage is hard don’t let people lie to you and say it’s not!

superb video. this is helping me, esp the part about becoming a student of your partner and learning their love languages. thank you and shared to show my appreciation

The issue is if you marry in that 1st romantic phase < less than 2 years, it will not matter what the family does and their level of dysfunction because at that point it will only be ignored because of the deep and strong emotions. After the high wears off, then it will become a problem (you know the issue with that person and their family members! Good discussion!

"Maybe that is why we are more successful in our vocations than in our marriage" A couple reasons: 1-Your marriage doesn't pay your bills. 2. You can please more than just one person but a whole team! 3- Usually (if you are indeed sucessful) in your workplace, then you are doing something right with your vocation. 4- People have no choice but to cooperate at a business otherwise, no paychecks!

A person should learn as much as they possibly can about marriage before they get married. What the Bible says primarily, and from experts like this man. My wife and I were married in less than eight weeks and hadn't even met before I got on the plane to meet her for the wedding thousands of miles away, different cultures, much different ages and are going strong over three years. I read this man's book a long time ago and loved it and think about it to this day. Like him, I need words of affirmation to feel loved.

"You can not simulate marriage". WOW!!!!!! 🤔

Good man who passes on his life experience and telling that marriage isn’t a party with only happiness.

Your book, "the things I wish I'd known before getting married" makes so much sense. I love every single letter of that book. Thank you so much for writing that book sir.

Such a great and enthusiastic interviewer.

I'm not Christian, but this is amazing

Ask yourself these two questions.. Why get married? Why involve the law in your love?

She affirmed him at the end. That was sweet.

it was in this book I saw the *Five love languages* bless you for that

*If you break God's Laws, they will break you* _You cannot simulate a marriage_ 😳🙌🙏❤️

Yeah that is so true . Ppl give up way too easily in the early ages.

Wife to husband: You are selfish and centric. Husband to wife: You are selfish and centric. Compatibility at its best🤓

I am going to learn and prepare more for marriage. Great advice😊

Very nice advice from Dr. Gary Chapman.. I just saw this video and it's really helpful and insightful. I learned a lot and such a soft spoken voice with great wisdom about marriage life.🙏😇😊 Thank God for this man.

Exactly, the high of just dating (not to mention marriage) don't last no more than 2 yrs...but if two people learn each other AFTER learning themselves somewhat with the help of God of course...I believe relationships period would go pass the "in love stage"...my view!!! I've learned to love and appreciate me now. I haven't dated for yrs but I'm sharing this to inspire people to self love and just getting to know self first.

I already read one of his book the 5 language of love !! One of my favorite book 😄🙂

You cannot simulate marriage...

Was it wrong of me not to get married but just enjoy my life

If you love me why won’t you help me and be there for me don’t just tell me .... this

Apparently he's not heard of divorce court, family court, no fault divorce, and feminism.

WOW This was awesome been married for 15yrs October

"you can't simulate marriage" Interesting perspective.

Love the interviewer's style in this one!

not even married or close but this seems like common sense

I love Dr. Chapman's wisdom.

He's full of wisdom

Great video. My entire adult life has been centered around work and music. I don't follow sports, but I like the integrity of golf, would love to utilize this an occaisional outlet, nothing more.

I recently got married at 20 years old. My husband and I had been dating for 5 years before we decided to get married. We recently bought his book!

Am 23 yet to date and get married. I jotted so many points.thanks for your words of wisdom.

Listen to the old ones. They know

love vs infatuation

He is great role model. Love your books👍👍👍

When we got married...move out like the 🐦 from the nest . We are adults...be independent. Built up your own family.( Not include your parents and siblings) From Malaysia 😎

thanks for the lessons, im happy i vieuwed it :)

Very good info. Thank you.

A wonderful message for marriage. Marriage is a commitment and full of trust to God completely, because marriage have lots of ups and down. But if you married your bestfriend and also be your husband or wife, its really a gift. Cherish her or him and never giveup! May God bless all the marriages!!!

I have really enjoyed your discussion. Thanks

*how the heck did KZfaq take me here I’m not even old enough for dating*

Wow this is really eye opening.Thank you Gary

I see living together and elopement kinda the same way....How you do anything, is how you do everything....You need blessing from family...Running off is a red flag..just sayin

Truth. Living together is not marriage. You have to take the plunge.

Married my 15yr bride, 45 years and 3 children ago.

This was very interesting to listen to. Great interview.

Excellent content. Excellent interviewing skills as well.

She is a very attractive older woman

One of the elements of my love language for my husband was preparing tasty and nutritious meals I knew he enjoyed..and he did! Imagine my shock when one day he threw it in my face that being a good wife was not just cooking for him..we are in an informal separation for the last four years. Basically means he doesn't give me any support financially and is living a single life again. I am working on a formal separation to change this..wish I had seen the signs that he was the biggest narcisist ever 😭

8 years and my hubby and I have never argue. New generation perhaps?

I agree with allnthe gentleman said on living together before marriage. Dangerous

Hm, I got married with the woman that I have known for 50 years and there's not been a day that I haven't discovered something new in our dynamics that has not deepened our relationship.

Understanding that each person love language is different

So for him it is just about making woman happy if you want to have a happy life

This man is a genius in marriage counseling

Great piece

What really caught me off guard was the bit that marriage cannot be simulated. Wow! I'd never looked at it like that.

Important information given. I appreciate it, I would really like to get married one day.

If you break God’s laws they will break you 🙌🏾🙌🏾

SAGE ADVICE ..... RIGHT HERE! THANK YOU MR. GARY CHAPMAN! ...... GOD BLESS YOU!

thank you! greetings from Jakarta, Indonesia!