I love that you get straight to the point and don’t waffle.

Anecdotally speaking, it seems to me that gaslighting also happens frequently within families (siblings, parent-to-child, etc).

My parents gaslighted me by abusing me and then trying to convince me (and everyone else) that the abuse wasn't really happening and I was just crazy. I suppose you could say my brother was my "gaslight" cause when you ask him what he remembers about our childhood, he remembers the same things I do.

Thanks for covering this topic. I'm a victim of a stalker trying to gaslight me in the classical sense. Breaking in and entering non forced entry, moving and changing things in my home, swapping items and stealing. He has made it difficult to prove to others that this is happening to me. So not only does the gaslighter try to get the victim to question her own judgement, but also gets others to question the judgement of the victim. At least that is how it has been in my case. It is a horrific thing to go though.

“Gaslighting” mostly worked on me because I looked for validation from others, didn’t have a strong sense of self, and my worldview was “wishy-washy” as in maleable and subject to change. The perfect storm to be convinced down was up, cold was hot, and that I was to blame for all of our problems.

Between researching and a friend that was married to covert about her gaslighting experience I was ready when my ex covert narc husband pulled this on me. He hid 3 personal items from me within a week. I assumed they were in his truck because he would hide both sets of keys. I approached him after the 3rd item went missing. I told him I knew what he did and even explained to him why he was doing this and the concept. I let that sink in for a bit then told him I was going grocery shopping and when I returned my items better be in their proper places or 2 can play that games. (I actually had no intention of doing anything) I just wanted my items back. When I returned home disappeared items reappeared. Imagine that. That was the first and time he pulled this stunt. I knew at that point I had to start planning on how I was going to leave. I finally left after some time and filed for divorce. These creatures are sick and twisted, I refused to let him accomplish his goal of driving me crazy. What he did to me was exactly what his father did to his mother, except for the fact that his mother had to go to a mental institution several times before she passed away. All this just blows my mind, they are pure evil. Thank you!

I feel like this video is a semester of information explained to be perfectly understood in under 12 minutes.

Your teaching style is excellent: highly analytical, serious, most of the time easy to understand, concise, to the point, unpartial, not making fun of anybody or circumstances, but I also love that you are not afraid to state carefully your personal opinion after you have evaluated all the facts. That makes you so personal , reachable and trust worthy! My husband gaslights me at times. He tells me that that I am crazy and stupid when indeed he has a mental disorder and I just have to stand up for myself or I get drawn into his manipulation and power game and blame game, and I refuse. And yes that is exhausting at times. However this life has a purpose and if we respect and follow the golden rule we might influence a person/ situation positively and make this world a little bit a better place. Thank you so much Dr Grande for your excellent teaching style!

I was once told I have a vivid imagination after I was robbed by an employee of a business I was at. Fortunately for me there were cameras, in color that showed the crime and the owner fired the employee. The owner never apologized to me for asserting that I had a vivid imagination. No wonder our society is all lawyered up. It did feel good to teach that business a lesson.

In my experience, the predatory people that use this form of manipulation actively seek third parties to support their divisive cause and even make the supporting parties look like the culprit. I've heard these henchmen described as "flying monkeys" and are utilized to carry out the violation instigated by the person doing the gaslighting. Unfortunately, the damage caused by gaslighting can be immeasurable.

In the 1944 movie there actually _is_ an element of manipulation concerning the flickering gaslight, if only after the fact. Gas is decreased in the downstairs lights every time the evil husband turns on the attic light in search of the hidden jewels. While he doesn't argue with his wife when she brings up the subject of the lights, he does manipulate her by insisting that she's imagining things. Hence the film's title.

In Texas we call this manipulation tactic “Bullshitting”

Dr Todd, sir, you must be a joy to attend movies with. Plot holes and devices beware!

Thank you for the backstory. I knew only of the movie, but not of the play or original book. Thank you also for staying on-topic and being so concise. I love your style of delivery and I would think that (particularly after psychological and emotional abuse) your direct communication, without self-indulgent, nonessential fluff mixed in, would be a relief for many. I prefer direct communication at all times but particularly when exhausted and struggling in a situation where understanding is very important, I sincerely appreciate truncated and clear speech. Like Joe Friday, “All we want are the facts.” :-)

Hi Dr. Grande - just watched this video and wanted to add something here. The original film based on the play is a British thriller called "Gaslight", and was made in 1940. The 1944 film was an MGM adaptation. I recommend watching the 1940 British film, it does show why the term "gas-lighting" came about. The husband really does manipulate the wife into thinking she is going insane and imagining things. He reminds me a bit of my ex :-)

Excellent explanation. This term is so popular on KZfaq and I even had patients using it. It bothered me that I couldn’t get a good handle on the meaning. Thx now I get the connection to the movie.

Dr. Grande, thank you for making this video! As someone who experienced this phenomenon in its literal sense by a former spouse, the term has special significance. In many ways my experience played out just like the movie (which I had not seen and was unfamiliar with the term at the time). My ex would often hide and discard items, and when I would be away from the house he would "re-organize" my personal belongings, often scattering them in places that would be totally inappropriate (e.g. putting items from my car in a box on a bookshelf on the 2nd floor of my home). During the time, I was so confused, and was experiencing so much cognative dissonnace, isolation, and so much psychological abuse that I never assumed he was doing this. Nor, did I even know this was a "thing". Nobody ever would logically or rationally think that their spouse or any person for that matter was engaging in such activities because it is so bizarre! This behavior was also part of a coordinated "smear campaign," which ultimately led to 4 attemps by family and a neighbor/friend to mentally institutionalize me. I'll state for the record, I have never been diagnosed with any mental condition other than CPTSD, and never has a mental health professional determined that I've ever had a break with reality. I have spoken to a number of people who have experienced psychological abuse by a known or presumed psychopath/narcissist, as well as clinicians about my experience. All of my experiences with the exception of this have been validated by others. However, to date, nobody I have spoken with or consulted with has actually witnessed this behavior. I'm very interested to know how often this actually happens (e.g. the overtly coordinated campaign, over a long period of time). You also state it's seen by psychopaths and narcissicists but that diagnosis does not have to be present for someone to do this. However, to me, it seems that only an extremely manipulative and disordered person would engage in the kind of campaign demonstrated in the movie (and that I also experienced). Many doubt my experience, including those familiar with highly manipulative behaviors. It seems that there would be a distinction between someone "gaslighting" on a one-off basis, and those who engage in this tactic as part of a broader series of activities over time. Are you able to expand on that and what that may mean? If you could illuminate (no pun intended!) more on this behavior, including its clinical references, I am very eager to learn more. One of the mose helpful things for me has been to objectively understand my experiences because I have almost no external validation. Everything I've seen and read on gaslighting never actually cites the actual manipulation of one's environment. I've also heard the term "ambient abuse". Is this a clinical term and is this associated with glaslighting (because it sounds like it would be). I'm sure there are other clinicians and targets/victims who have witnessed/experienced this, but since there is little out there on the topic, having access to a larger body of knowledge would be very helpful. I love your content and more video content on this particular topic I feel would be highly beneficial to the collective conscious on this matter.

My mother is a gaslighter and she's also a narcissist. I've had to cut off my family for years unfortunately but my life has exponentially improved since excising myself from them.

Actually, in the movie at least, he triangulates her with the maid. She does express her observations about the gaslights a few times and is denied. I know at least once, but I think twice, when the maid tells her she didn't notice. The husband also convinces the maid the wife is unwell so she just thinks the wife is being very neurotic when asking about the lights. But the maid is young and likely didn't notice. I believe the husband also dismisses her concerns about the light, knowing full well she did see that. In the end, it is the gaslights that have her ready to commit herself, but it is also the lights that exxonerate her, when the investigator notices and points out the dimming of the lights, which by this point she just ignores it thinking it isn't real

Yes the gaslight WAS part of the manipulation, she saw it flickering/dimming and the husband told her she was just imagining it which was one more thing that made her doubt her sanity. The husband didn't dim the lights intentionally, but he made her doubt that it was happening.

The actual name of the play is "Angel Street" subtitled Gaslight. I know,I was in the play and played the detective that helped the woman figure out her husband was an imposter and murderer. The gaslight device was incidental to the plot and it's resolution.

Thank you, Dr. Grande. I am so happy to have found your videos.

I love the way you explain things. Strait to the point, easy to understand, and just as Ann P Tully said, you don't waffle. I have 30 years experience in the medical field and know just enough to get myself into trouble ;). I love the mental health field and have worked mostly in the substance abuse mental health as a "teacher/listener" I don't have a degree of any kind, but I have a hell of a lot of experience. And I'm 24 years clean of crack cocaine last Cinco de Mayo. Thank you for doing these videos. I enjoy them immensely.

I had a foster child who was gaslighted by his family into believing he was autistic. Once we got him away from the family and to an actual counselor- he discovered he was normal- but abused. Not autistic. Did very well away from familiy, grades skyrocketed, got meaningful work, made tons of friends. But he decided to go back to the people who were gaslighting him for a visit and never returned. They convinced him we had taken him to quack and got him back on ssi and they were cashing his checks and medicating him. Until I met and saw him I never actually knew this was possible. I was also shocked to learn that for many like him they dont actually see Doctors but rather mental health case workers, who submit his paperwork to the doctors and they get rubberstamped. This was in Orlando, FL

I think we call it "Gaslighting" just because the movie is called Gaslight. It's an obviously (in its time) pop culture reference. Just like movie names and references happen in everyday conversations today.

Yeah my mom Gaslit me while I was growing up, amongst many other horrible & manipulative things. Somehow I managed to not fall for the gaslighting, I trusted myself enough to know she was lying and playing games.

Thanks for this video. You're perfectly right, weakening of the gaslight is the clue that shows someone is using the gas elsewhere, the clue that indicates she's not crazy!

This is brilliant !! I was thinking the other day, why is gas-lighting so named because they didn't seem to fit the description of making a person think they're insane. My sisters, who are narcissists, explained to me that my ex was gaslighting. They of all people told me that he wanted me to think I'm crazy. I appreciate them for it Thank you for the correct explanation. I will share this video with myself and others, I'm already a subscriber and I know why.

Good and necessary advice for anyone experiencing this. I should say that it's been a very long time since I've seen the movie...and I'm personally not confused by the fact that the dimming lights weren't a manipulation tactic in the movie.... I just tend to use the word and understand it's common usage as a kind of covert, subtle, cognitive manipulation, intended to screw with one's perceptions (for any number of different reasons) I also occasionally use it to describe my own cognitive dissonance in situations where I'm picking up on subtle cues from a person who is not acknowledging any validity to my feeling. I realize that not everyone has to share every little detail about what's going on with them, but because this can have the same result as intentional gaslighting, I feel it's important for such a person to at least have the sensitivity to acknowledge that, yes, we may be "picking up on" something, but that "something" is not something they care to discuss right now......rather than denying it's existence which can cause us all to start distrusting our gut and intuition....and lead to all kinds of issues

I saw the movie a long time ago, and I do remember that her problems started when the lights would deem around 4:00 p.m., and she told the maid, and the maid would say she didn't notice anything. The following day, the wife would notice again and the maid would deny she noticed. When her husband arrived she told him, he asks the maid and the maid denies noticing it again. The wife would also hear noises coming from upstairs and the maid would deny hearing them. I remember this clearly, although I don't remember the hidden items, but it looks like we gave more importance to different things. Even I was doubting if the deemed lights and the noises were in her head or not. The deeming of the lights is what would make her ware that something was happening and scare her, and the noises would tell her it was upstairs. So everything he did afterwards was to make her think she was going crazy, and he did use the maid to back him up to be more convincing. SPOILER ALERT: At the end, it turns out the maid was in corrupts with the husband.

I am a victim of gaslighting from a very large religious cult I was a part of. The effects were not only damaging to me but also to many other members of the Mormon church who start to see contradicting evidence and are made by members and leaders to feel crazy and evil. I feel that gaslighting in group form is a lot more common than realized when one considers this context. I sincerely wish there was more research done in this field. The phenomenon is interesting because the members guilty of the gaslighting are not fully intentionally doing it. In one sense they are intentional (willful ignorance) but in another they aren’t and this occurs because of Doublethink (a term made popular by Orwell’s 1984) in which they simultaneously believe two contradicting narratives at once. Doublethink is like a cousin of gaslighting. It somehow fuels it. It is highly damaging and deserves more attention. Thanks for covering this term Dr Grande!

Hi Dr. Grande. I found your channel today and I wanted to thank you for your elaborate explanation and information about this topic. In my life experiences, this has been the most profound view and perspective that has brought a level of techniques and awareness for me. Thank You!~ Many Blessings ...

You mention that gaslighting is mostly done by a man to a woman. How about a (narcissist) mother to a (scapegoat) daughter? I see that others have asked a similar question...would love to hear your take on: - that particular relationship dynamic -the psychological mechanisms behind the gaslighting behavior. What are the common origins? How does shame play a part? Can the narcissist change? Can disconnection be a healthy option? -what the adult daughter can do, once empowered by this understanding, to move to the next point along the continuum of recovery. To your point about how it's important to have multiple sources of information: this is why KZfaq and online communities are so important. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

That was an excellent commentary on gas lighting and the importance of critical thinking skills and discernment to escape toxic situations.

Write it down. This has saved me. They can not interfere as much with you and your perceptions if you can see them all on paper or on your phone. Write everything if you have a suspicion or weird feeling that is maybe different when the person is and isn’t around

The husband would skulk around in the attic and use the gas so lights in her rooms would dim. He wasn't supposed to be home.

Mine was a BPD female. She Gaslighted me. I had a strong sense of self so ignored it. How much was deliberate, and how much was dissociation? I was more upset that she used the false narrative to smear me with her Flying Monkeys. If you have a strong self image, that can be hurtful. At the time I did not know of Cluster B Disorders, NPD or BPD, so it was particularly hurtful. Today I would ignore it; but today I would never be in that situation again. I can spot a Cluster B a mile away (even the coverts given time).

I love your channel, Dr. Grande. I've learned a lot from your videos.

I'd never heard of this term until The Young and the Restless did a storyline where Adam was doing this to Ashley, which was pretty horrible. Ever since then I've seen it pop up all over the place. Great explanation!

Finally a name put to what I have experienced

I use the term gaslighting to describe what my brain does to itself from my schizophrenia. Its easier to get people to understand that way

Forgive me for not using big words like you or your guests. All I know about "gaslighting" is what it felt like to be the victim of it from a narcissistic/psycho/manipulative/lying/predator....a/k/a Ass Face.lol In 1 year of dating him, it took me years and years to undo the damage. He destroyed my self confidence, made me full of anxiety and yes gaslighting is a perfect name for it. I could feel and see the gaslight within myself flickering. My internal flame was dying as he gained more control and that flicker made me pull away to save my self. Thank you for your amazing videos that help.

I seem to recall that the film's original name was "Fanny by gaslight" which has different connotations today.

What I appreciate about all of the information that we have been getting ,is that they have been serving as motivation to help us stay afloat ie. The word Gaslighting has proven to be a great Clue ,to the fact that we were or are being Manipulated. Thanks for the insight 👍🏽👍🏽🌈❤️✅

I was wondering this very thing 2 days ago. Thx for the timely explanation.

This is an excellent video with a great message. Well done!

I really appreciate Dr. Grande's clarity and precision about terms. His presentation allows the viewer to identify and understand gaslighting, without being confused if the person who is gaslighting them does not appear to be narcissistic or psychopathic. As Mike Baker, in his comments points out, gaslighting can come as garden-variety family dynamics. I really appreciate Dr. Grande's insight that gaslighting, rather than being the ploy that deceives you, can be the clue which allows you to escape from the deception.

I have some sort of mental illness which various therapists and psychiatrists have called different things. Most recently it has been called Aspergers Syndrome or Reactive Attachment Disorder. I fully recognize that I am not a normal person, although I have been taking steps to fit in with society better. That being said, as my family members have passed away I have come to realize that they have been falsely attributing symptoms to me and dehumanizing me for percieved differences, even when I am engaging in innocuous behavior. At the moment, my only surviving relatives are my sister and two underage nephews, who I live with due to financial issues. Now that it's just her carrying on this behavior, when she does these things it's clearly a nonsequitor. For instance before heading off to work one day, I went out to check something on my bike before work and came back in to grab my bag. The minute I stepped through the door she said in an incredibly overdramatic voice, "What's going on? I don't understand what's going on! You're scaring me!" Mind you, all I did was walk through the door. I didn't interact with her or anything in the room. I was just walking back to my room to grab my bag. She uses those phrases, "I don't know what's going on," and "you're scaring me," all the time, when I'm just trying to use the microwave in the kitchen or something. At the same time, she complains that I never really leave my room. Why would I want to leave my room when doing something like making a microwave dinner leads to me being treated that way? Another behavior my family used to engage in (and she still does) is to shoot down anything I say and dismiss me because I'm weird or mentally ill. Okay, I know I'm different, but I'm not psychotic and I can have opinions and know facts. Why the hell does being weird mean I'm wrong to say I want to buy a certain vehicle because it has good gas mileage? This whole thing just weighs really heavily on me because I'm dependent on my sister, I'm 30 and have no prospects due to mental illness, I have no support network because of whatever it is that really is wrong with me, and I see her starting to do the same thing to my older autistic nephew. Sorry for the rant, I just really needed to put this down somewhere someone might read it, even if it will make no difference.

Thank you, Dr. Todd...a great analogy of the term Gas Lighting. I saw a bit of the 1940s movie...kind of creepy. Enjoy all your videos. ⚘

One minor form of gas-lighting is when you're given erroneous instructions by a third party which you carry-out, you get blamed for the error, you explain to your supervisor that you are not at fault, but your supervisor deflects to a different issue instead of understanding that you were not the one who created the erroneous instructions. The supervisor feels defensive enough to feel the need to deflect, not recognizing that it is not the supervisor's fault either. This reaction suggests to me that the supervisor may be a victim of narcissism. is this a possibility?

The huge problem with gaslight is that it's difficult to see if the person is Lying to " gaslight" or not. If you are a really smart person with strong toughts and self esteem it's easy... expecially if the person trying to gaslight has a lot lower mental I.Q.

Very good, Dr Grande. I'm pleased to see a trained professional talk about this and explain that it's not talked about scientifically using that specific term but is referred to by different names. I also like how you made the point of the video to echo the play and movie, in that the gaslighting can be used to give you clues as to what's going on, and lead you to freedom. Leading on from your advice at the end about making sure you stay open to other sources of information in order to make a balanced assessment of what's really happening, this would be why the gaslighter often "triangulates" his/her victim, so that there are fewer sources of information available. Really nice video; thank you.

Great explanation. Always wondered where the term originated and what it meant.👍🏾

Very empowering analysis, thanks Doc ✋

Thank you Dr. Grande. For over 40 years my husband would contradict casual statements I made in the company of his law school friends without any explanation. It was embarrassing because he did it in a way that was quick and final which was code to his friends his wife didn’t know what she was talking about, crazy or stupid. It was awkward. Everyone went silent for a minute or so. Then, a few years later, he would bring up the very same topic to someone else in the family and state exactly what was said by me years ago in front of his friends. When I called him out on it, he said he didn’t remember. Awful! I’ve been with him for 41 years and I now know what, not why, he has been doing. It’s a very destructive behavior and one should get out of that relationship asap. Unfortunately for me, it’s too late.

Thanks for talk on Gaslight reference. This reframes the meaning for me. Like seeing through the Gaslight is awakening from the manipulations.

Thank you for the knowledge. Answered my questions perfectly

Wow thanks Dr Grande for clear and easy to understand explanation,. I get it!

Dr. Grande, i didnt realise that you have a youtube channel, i will happily subscribe.

In my case it’s 2 on 1, my parents gaslight me all the time. I tried to call out my dad on the behavior and he said “If you bring up that ‘gaslighting’ bullshit again I’m kicking you out.” And of course he’d deny having ever said THAT. And my parents said “You keep using silly words like ‘gaslighting’ and ‘abuse’ and ‘trigger’” after I mentioned my friend’s abusive mom. Like no those words aren’t silly, they’re fucking serious. I recently gotten back in touch with my grandpa after my mom keeping my brother and I from him for years. And when I told him my parents were “mistreating me” he shook his head and said “I saw it coming... ever since you were a baby...” and so I revealed more details and he brought up his experiences and for the first time I had a family member I could trust, a family member I could tell the truth to. For the first time it wasn’t just me. I knew that it wasn’t all in my head.

Hi Dr.Grande Thanks for your great insightful videos I am learning a lot from them....bless you, and your work

I mostly just like music videos, but I was interested in the term and your videos came up, it's great and very informative! Thank you. Thumbs up👍

Fascinating.... thank you for tracing this term back to its original sources, given this new information, gaslighting could be considered more akin to triangulation than suggestion or brainwashing.

Thank you!! Appreciate this video so, so, So much!!!! You do an excellent job of teaching this concept! Well done! Enjoy your videos!!!

Fascinating. From my observational experience it seems that gas-lighting can be a tool to developing learned helplessness.

When I started to date my now estranged wife she told me she was sexually abused by a close family member when she was 10 years old. Some 30 years later when we were going through a rough time and the sexual abuse subject came up again , she told me that I had made all that up & that conversation had never happened. I went through a horrible few months after that thinking I was going insane. Only then for her to change her story again to her admitting she did tell me she was sexually abused but she was just naive and the correct story is that the abuser had just put his arm around her whilst they sat on the sofa. Suffice to say she lives some 30 miles away from me now & I'm having some much needed therapy.

I worked with a guy who, if he turned up late, would insist he had been there but it was me that came late or just didn’t notice him. And whilst he was telling me this would stare me straight in the eye ! Effin spooky behaviour.

Thank you Dr Drande!

Very good explanation. Thanks for all your videos and work !

I found that "pulling the wool over one's eyes" is a perfect phrase for gaslighting.

Thank you for the explanation, very interesting. Just a thought perhaps the scientific literature should adopt the term ''gaslighting' since it seems a good term to conceptualise ''inter-personal manipulation'' which is a bit of a mouthful.

I never really understood this in anything but an abstract way until it was done to me.

Thanks for the clarity.

Thank you for going into such detail on your videos.

Thank you for explaining this confusing term for us!

Thank you for helping me understand

Thank you for posting this video.

Thank you, that makes sense & it was very helpful :)

i'd like to see more of your movie and literary criticism interspersed in your videos - or perhaps this could be something unto itself

Love the intro, it seems perfect, something about it feels complete

My husband would call me from work and ask me to find a certain tool he'd forgotten, could I find it and have it ready when he came to pick it up. At that point I had no idea what I was dealing with. I just knew that I needed to find the tool, find the tool, find the tool...He always had it with him. Talk about hyperviligance. These memories embarres me and make me cry. Gaslighting/manipulation/brainwashing whatever you call it, works.

Great review, thank you so much

Electrical illumination and gas illumination coexisted for a brief period in the very early 20th century. My great grandfather was a noted architect in New York in the early 20th century. In the house he built for himself and his family in Flushing, Queens, New York in 1900, at that time he did not immediately assume that the new 'electricity' would succeed, so he built his new house on Barkley Ave with dual fuel capability - bare wires wrapped around porcaline insulators and gas/electric lamps. The house lasted more than a hundred years, but not the inhabitants.

I think the gaslight is really symbolic for the key to realizing the deceptive, psychological games being played. it's like the evidence of ill intent. it is a bit weird the way it turned into a term but it actually works for me if you consider that using it is essentially based on someone believing they have discovered an empowering truth.

Thank you. This helped me in understanding the origin and phenomenon.

Excellent video! Thank you!

Another excellent informative video. Thanks Dr!

Interesting. I've heard the term used a lot lately, but had no idea what it meant.

Been a victim and never again going to trust myself even if I am wrong. I was able to keep a grip for seven years. People pick personal boundaries and stick with it and you will be free

You have the best and most informative explanation of this that I've seen. Thank you very much.

My husband interrupts me by angrily saying "NO!" whenever I begin speaking, especially in public. He doesn't even realize he's doing it. I have been the fundraiser for his nonprofit organization for over 10 years. When he interrupts me in front of potential donors by loudly saying no, right when I am describing his program, I believe it makes the potential donor feel distrust of me, the person who has signed that all funds will be used in the proper way. He always does it in front of his family and in front of donors. Needless to say, the relationship he and I have with his family is horrible and his program suffers from a lack of funds.

Thank you for the knowledge.

Love Dr Grande!

Thank You! for your course of study interesting!

My mom gaslights me and even though I meant no harm, and I was just being human, I always apologize and feel immense guilt for the bad intentions she gives me. I love her a lot and she's usually a kind person, but sometimes little things and mistakes I make trigger her anger and if I try to explain myself it gets a lot worse. I hate confrontation and I really try to be a good person but she makes me feel like a horrible person at times. Example: I answer her question casually but she gets offended, and I say "I didn't mean to upset you I was answering the question." She will say "You WERE NOT answering a question." And then I ruminate and go over the situation over and over to try and figure out what my own intentions were, when really, it's not that deep. But then I don't know how to resolve the situation without apologizing profusely.

Thank you very much, this has been very helpful!

Very interesting! Thanks doc. Can you do a video about scientific research and attachment styles in relationships, explained in using the five-factor model?

Perfect explanation

I feel like I'm getting "set up" at work; right after there was a talk about making sure drops are secure and what not, one of my drops disappeared. The same manager who counts them told me mine was missing. Just not there for some unknown reason. A week previously I had to write out that another item was missing and that I specifically did not take it. So, they come up to me the day after I spoke with my boss about it (mistakenly mentioning my therapist suggested I talk to them about it) they come up to me and *earnestly say, "How are you?" like they're concerned or something. I was like I'm fine. Why do you ask? and they raise their voice a little bit and go "your always so suspicions of everything" turn and walk away. There was also another item that went missing on y watch which I had to ask someone about getting refunded. The following day the item magically reappeared and I had to eat crow and call them back saying I made a mistake. Am I being gaslit?

Gaslighting is when a psycho bully tries to convince you it is you doing the horrible thing they are doing to you (best defence is attack), cheating on you sexually, spending all the money, gambling, being nasty, having a tantrum, etc etc.