Their end game is to make sure that you don't achieve more than them.

To make themselves look like the victim and you as the villain.

Remember the narc isn’t an individual but stuck still in infantile patterns trying to separate & become an adult while just using others as substitutes for that primary caregiver whom he hates almost as much as he hates himself

My mom told me you've changed I don't even know you anymore. I said I haven't changed just got tired of the way you treat me and I'm no longer taking it.

Bloody nightmares ALL OF THEM

In my experience, the covert narcissist was the worst. They are sneaky, acting like everything is okay, then out of nowhere, they do a surprise attack when you least expect it. My former boss and older sister. Now no contact with them both, and their flying monkeys. Knowledge is power for sure!

The narc wants all your blessings, gifts and what you work very hard for. They want your life.

If they can't be happy they don't want anyone else to feel happy either.

They forget, they set the whole thing up .....

They play with you as a cat plays with prey. Then they kill.

Narcissists are legends in their own minds.

The saddest part is how they convince their flying monkeys against you. The loss of those close to you besides the narcissist are the hardest to lose. It’s sad when they can’t see the light.

I just want everyone here to feel a sense of peace knowing that you aren't alone in this. You are heard and understood.

When I left the narcissist almost 10 years ago, he said, 'You won't be able to get by without me, and don't forget, you owe me.' I answered by saying, 'I don't owe you a damn thing.'

The narcissist asked me one day "Why have you changed?" I answered that I am still the same person that I have always been. This was when I had found out what the narcissist's game was and I had quit playing.

A past narcissist was transcribing our private conversations and posting them on social media. Stear clear of these insanse people. They will stop at nothing to ruin you.

My covert narcissist husband of 46years is very spiteful, it was 2020 when God opened my eyes to see what was going on, and what I saw I CANNOT UNSEE😢, Thank you Dr C for these videos.

I am going through this right now. Wish me luck 🤞🏽im preparing to get out of this alone. 16 years. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I cannot do another year this way

I just love your dog having a peaceful nap. They don’t have any worries in their world!

To win. They always have to be the winner.

They are good for pulling the rug out from under you just to get a reaction. Their idea of twisted fun.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all! Since watching your videos, I have come face to face with that narcissist monster living in me. For decades, I tried to understand why I am so angry and spiteful. Why am I nice and sweet one day and become so unhinged and mean and destructive the next day. Why do I hurt so much when things go wrong, when my expectations aren't met? The last person in this world that I ever wanted to become, was my mother. I never wanted to hurt anyone the way she hurt me. I never wanted to play her endless games of mind control. I never wanted to hurt my child the way she hurt me. When I left my mother and stayed away for six years, I got counselling, which helped me understand that the majority of the problems my mother and I had, were mostly her fault. She dragged her abusive childhood into our home, and because I was the most tender and sensitive family member, she dumped every single hurt, every single tear, every single blame on me. By the time I started first grade, I thought I was the most ugly and stupid kid on the planet. She took my wings into her mean, vengeful hands of steel and crushed them to pieces. And no one came to my rescue. No one to talk to, no shoulder to cry on, no one to tell me that I'm okay. I have been on the road to healing and recovery for a thousand years, it seems, and I'm just learning about the evils of narcissism and how it has infiltrated my brain. I was born a free spirit, and my mother shot me down. And I'm still trying to clean up the mess she made of my mind and broken soul. God has led me to your videos, not because of other people's narcissism, but because of my own. I never wanted to be like this. NEVER! And I refuse to die like this. I want to be the person that God created me to be. I may never reach that goal, but I will die trying! Thank you so much for coming into my life and helping me to heal, and surrender my own narcissism to God. Narcissism has no place in the hearts of God's children.

Guilt tripping, blaming and punishment are some of the emotional manipulations you can expect when stepping away from a narcissist.

When they create a narrative that is negative about you so they can feel better about themselves when the relationship is over they will create a different narrative when they try and hoover you back, they will create a narrative that is positive about you so they can see you in a different light. Don't fall for the hoover, it's all the same negative spiral as the beginning. 1) Idolize/love bomb 2) devalue 3) discard. Narcissists are broken deep down to their core and the more people they can break on their path of destruction the better they feel.

Narcissistic cycle is idealises, devalue, discard, and the end cycle or game is destroy usually this comes after hovering, beware narcissist has come back to destroy because seeing you thriving and surviving is their destruction, the narcissist ultimate end game is self termination.

You're going to be in trouble if you see through their mind games. They'll make you PAY!

I know! It’s to destroy your happiness so they can feel good about themselves.

I became sick and tired of my husbands mind games and half truths over fifty years and so I set boundaries. He has gotten so much worse, spiteful is an understatement. I am angry and have a hard time keeping my mouth shut as he pretends he is he victim. He knows exactly what triggers me and is delighted when he does. His audience is now our grown twin daughters He makes sure to put on a show for them. I have already suffered a stroke as well as a heart attack and I refuse to allow him or them to cross my boundaries any longer! So I guess they can see it anyway they choose because I no longer care what they think! I choose me now! I journal now as I became tired of his nonsense of saying I was making things up or he didn't say or do that he went into a rage when he learned of it he said I was building a case against him, my response was no you did that yourself over decades. I find unless someone has gone through this they can't begin to understand and it helps to know you are not alone. Thank you

A wolf redemption is when it ceases to exist! A narcissist end game is their end!

The Best thing I ever did was.cut ties with my dysfunctional narcissistic family. I wasted so much time trying to be part of them!

Your health + your integrity are your most important assets. Never lose them to anyone (person or job). Ppl leave, jobs end. Integrity + health are what remains ... or not. It’s your job to put up boundaries to protect loss of these. Restoring is difficult. So: fight sensibly -or leave if you must. Don’t bother what other people will think of it. They are on their own paths, you are on yours.

To a narcissist we are transactional and conditional "props" and, (as Dr C said) their end game is the destruction of you. All roads lead to the same sorry destination for a narcissist. Build that phalanx of healthy around you!

After No Contact for 35 years my mother decided she wanted contact after a life time of telling me I was a looser. When my mother found out I was a very successful business woman and retired a millionaire she wanted contact again. I said NO and don’t regret it 😊

My soon ex husband is dragging out the divorce, even though he filed and immediately shacked up with his coworker 🤷‍♀️ These people are relentless, are they even human?

They discard us. They are stone cold. We feel the pain of rejection. We were the only half of the relationship equation in the first place. They were busy being puppeteer. When we rebal against their protocols they begin to hate. We are useless to them unless they can manipulate and punish. It's a spectrum they play. Like notes on a musical score, only it's your heart your mind your soul. They control, wield power. Whittle away at your stability. They enjoy the crazy making unstable you. They thrive on your pain, your emotional outbursts. They get their needed ego strokes by your negation. We must avoid them. Eventually we learn but the end game is to hurt you as much as possible. It's not kind, not rational, not true. None of their love bombs or phony affection is real. When will we ever learn? The empathy has a heart. They are heartbreakers. So in the end it's just another heartbreak. In the Bible it says forgive 70 x 7 times. These are the ones being described? Before the term narcissist was ever coined, they existed.

"Why is there in the hand of a fool the purchase price of wisdom, seeing he has no heart for it?" Don't cast the "pearls of wisdom" before the swine. For they will trample upon them and rend you to pieces! I've learned this the hard way with a few narcs in my life. The more you try and be helpful and teach and correct, they shut down and ignore you. All they want to hear is that you agree with them and that you will do their bidding. They are not teachable. They will twist and flip every word you say, so speak less to none. They love to go off on little "bunny trails" to evade responsibility and accountability. They love to dredge up old conversations and attach emotional pain to them when there is no connection to their facade at all. You will waste your breath, your time, your effort, and your energy on trying to bring understanding to them because at the end of the day, to them, YOU are wrong and THEY are right. Distancing yourself with strong boundaries forces them to bring their pile of 💩 elsewhere.

"Admire (validate/approve of) me or I'll make you suffer." So true. Zero introspection. Perfect msg to them: "I don't want to participate w/yr dysfunction; I don't like what you bring to the equation, I'm going to jump off that merry-go-round."

Never ever feel that you need to light yourself on fire, to keep another (narc) person warm. It will destroy your health! Move along with your life is in my opinion the best advice. Peace.

It's a nightmare divorcing a narcissist. My narcissist ex husband was so spiteful, it was like "how dare you divorce me" So, to get even, he poisoned my sons minds against me. He never got over the fact that I wanted out. He chose to be an angry ex husband instead of being a father to his kids. The children paid the ultimate price. It's the children who suffer and they don't care. Me, me, me. I'm so glad those years are behind me. I lost my relationship with my oldest son. He became like his father.

My daughter is going thru a separation from her narcisstic husband...its a bloody nightmare. She believed his treatment was all her fault and thanks to counselling shes seeing what he has actually done to her, Financial, emotional and verbal abuse has been rampent. Gas lighting, love bombing and control of everything... years of hell, he has alienated her friends and family which she is finally getting back. She is now going to the family court for a solution and is finally taking some control back, applying for a protection order. Fingers crossed there is a final solution and she can move on!!!!

Many just want a level playing field (where there is at least a fair chance). The N wants to clear the playing field (so there is no competition).

I went no contact with my sibling 16 years ago and it was the day my life became peaceful. I have never regretted it. I love these videos - I nod my head in agreement and it’s great to have the reminder of what it was like and what a good decision I made for my own life and wellbeing……. Thanks Dr Les - great video as usual❤

Ultimate power and control!!!

When you finally get out of their grip, you see life as it could really be. You don’t ‘need’ them. You have endurance, knowledge and skills to live your own life. They will always have a ‘narrative’ to relieve their inner tension and hidden shame. It was never about you. In your own time, when you are ready, break free and live the life you really want and deserve. In peace with DRC. Thank you Dr. C. ❤🕊

Anger hurts the angry and narcs are incapable of forgiving. How sad is that?! 💜🐾

Such a sad way to be and no way to ever resolve conflict or reconcile. The only way to survive is to walk away.

Jump off the merry-go-round and, when the dizziness fades, you can make a new life with other people. Keep learning and practicing better responses.

"I'll destroy you." - That's exactly what my ex-husband said to me when I told him I was filing for divorce. And we're in South-East Asia. Seems narcs are quite the same anywhere in the world. Thank you, Dr Carter, for helping us understand what's happening to us in these relationships.

I have watched your videos for years, I just heard you mention you are retired now. I have said it before, but Thank you so much for all your contributions that have made clear the dealings with narcissists. It has brought clarity and understanding where once was only pain, confusion and the thought of losing your mind. No more. Self love and peace come with the destruction of a toxic relationship. Thank you for showing so many the way through the darkness to the light at the end of the tunnel. Many Blessings!

Thank you Dr. C for these eye opening videos. I believe God led me to your videos at the end of my marriage when I begged and prayed for help in understanding why my ex was behaving the way he was. He was cheating on me and becoming more and more abusive emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially. My husband said he loved me but his actions never matched up. I always ended up being the one confused into believing it was my fault -- the gaslighting, projecting, etc he'd do. I didnt recognize it for what it was until I started watching videos on abuse and narcissism. I had never even heard the word before. One of the hardest eye openers with these videos I had to learn was that "they never loved you" and that the love bombing is just part of the abuse cycle and manipulation and brainwashing. I remember praying one day asking God why He abandoned me and begged him to help my ex change. It was shortly after that these videos on narcissism popped up on my phone. I scrolled past several but something kept telling me to click on it and watch it. While watching one of these videos with you, Dr. C., I got an overwhelming feeling and voice in my head and heart that said, "I havent abandoned you and I'm showing you what he is (with the videos). Your husband is not going to change and you need to get out." I really do believe God helped me get out. Still things I don't understand now in getting out. It has been a hellish nightmare since with my ex manipulating the legal system, playing the victim, abusing my children, and pulling them all back in to where he has them full time. There's some things worse than death -- in knowing your children are being hurt and there's nothing you can do about it. I wish more people were aware of what abuse looks like. Most still don't, even the courts and law enforcement and others that should know, but don't. I believe God is just and will make it right in the end somehow, but in the meantime its so hard to take one painful breath and day at a time. I'm finding healing and peace within myself but my heart aches for my children in not knowing how to help them. Some people have wondered why I didnt just stay. I understand why some victims do. But mine was getting so abusive physically and even poisoning my food that I had to get out. I believe he would have killed me if I didn't leave. He tried again since I left in sending me more food. He flattened my tires and harrasses and vandalizes and the law wont even listen let alone do anything about it. Im so concerned something worse is going to happen with my children before anyone wakes up to the awful truth. 😢

Dr. Carter's calm, rational, straight forward approach has helped me deal effectively with my ex narc and those who don't understand the real circumstances. He is kind but firm and that is worthy of emulating.

My observation: Everything is happening in their own mind. My understanding is that they are constantly looking for a target to project their inner pain. May be something coming from childhood? Note. I am not from the field of phycology. Just an observation perhaps can help the other people.

My ex held a grudge against me for 15 years after we dated briefly and I broke up with him. When we reconnected, he spent the next 4 years finding many ways to hurt me deeply with his vengeful spirit.

"I don't have to let them write my script" love that! Should be on a t-shirt

This video is so timely for me. About a year ago, the sibling with whom I had a fairly good relationship had been going through some difficult things and acted really creepy towards me one day. They managed to convince me (i.e. gaslight me) that I was overly worried and should continue doing the work for our family that our parents asked us to do. About 10 months after that, this same sibling dropped their mask and made a plausible but it turns out unfounded allegation of wrongdoing towards me. After visiting a lawyer, I found out the criticism was just meant to scare me but it demonstrated their spite towards me loud and clear. I then told my parent that I was too stressed with other issues in my life and needed to stop doing the work as I could no afford no more legal fees over false accusations. Guess what happened next? My sibling found out my conversation with Dad and decided to go on a smear campaign about me. They then persuaded my elderly father to tell me that my other siblings (by then a flying monkey had been recruited) really respected my intelligence but I was being too emotional. Oh, yes! If they can't control you, they'll be sure to stab you in the back on the way out the door!

Dr Carter, I have a narcissist sister in law who I inadvertently offended. She apparently was so hurt, that she schemed, for a whole year, on how to keep me uninvited to her sons wedding. She kept putting blame on the sons wife, but after I saw the wedding picture, I noticed that every family member was invited except me and my husband and daughter. Now that she's gotten her revenge, she wants to play nice, and she's trying everything in the book to reel me back in. But I have to remain strong and not fall for her kindness, because I feel like it'll just be a matter of time before she gets offended about something else, and I become the target of another bout of her punishment. I have to remain wise as a serpent, yet innocent as a dove. I've been the object of her anger too many times over the past 40 years.

Comments on these videos are usually so insightful and I wish all of you to be narc free.

I did 38 years of this in an emotionally destructive marriage with a Covert Narcissist. Lord knows I gave it all to save our marriage. I was blessed when she discarded me through divorce

We have a narc neighbor (70 year-old female covert) in the condo below us that's always chiming in on petty things that are none of her business. It started with small, innocent statements, then escalated to (subtle and not so subtle) attempts by her to govern when we use our plumbing, appliances, electric blinds, enter various rooms, you name it. Boundaries of our home space, bodies and schedule are constantly tested. She invents rules and limitations that go beyond local laws. Whenever we have visitors, she'll go out of her way to rain on our parade. She tries her best to get into our heads and create psychological doubt. There's zero tolerance as we never know which alleged infraction will lead to a lengthy, condescending, word salad text or email. Since educating myself on narcs and going grey rock, she has lost interest in combating us and may soon be moving out. Thanks Dr. C for imparting your wisdom with a sweet, down-home Texas drawl. Fingers crossed!

It took me to my daughter was almost 40 years old for me to stop hoping she was going to get better, learn to treat me respectfully and not try to control me. About a year ago, after going back into therapy, I decided I was done and her trying to control me by withholding the grandchildren with more than I could bear and that I needed to stop living in hope. Because I came to see that that hope was toxic. I'm back to dancing every day, being out riding my bike and being happy. Not saying it's 100% but most of the time I just tell myself to put my feelings on the shelf and get on with living my life.

This spiteful resentment showed it’s ugly head quite a way into my 8 year relationship. I truly think he hated the fact that I had a decent upbringing unlike him, although when I challenged him about it, he flatly denied it .

Our nation has been threatened w a blood bath. An appropriate mature response has been posted. My federal supported housing has now being threatened. I am going through agencies. I am doing therapy and will soon be seen at a new clinic as my doctor quit. I'm hanging in and refer others here. Bless Dr C and Team Healthy! 🌹

Narcissistic supply is their oxygen

He was living in my house and treating me very poorly. Using me as a financial source and slave. Finally after a year i confronted him and told him to contribute. He became VERY FURIOUS! He attacked me in every possible ways and never changed his attitude, even became WORSE. After months of abusing me worse, he just left and discarded me while accusing me as a REALLY BAD HOUSEWIFE.

I would thumbs up this video a million times if I could. My narc starts almost every argument with "We are different people". BEFORE I learned about narcissism, I would defend and explain why we are different people. NOW, when he says how different we are, I say, "And I thank God EVERY DAY that we ARE different!"

In my experience being surrounded by narcisists, they never use feeling language as that would make them appear weak. Emotions are not logical, so they project their feelings onto you, and then you fit their role of being beneath them.

I adore the fact that little Gus somehow manages to gently not quite lie on his carefully prepared blanket 😂❤ He has made working through a dreadful period manageable xx

Right. If you’re dealing with a covert man it could take years to figure out what the deal is. And then there’s no discussion. It’s his way or the highway and you can’t counter and there’s no compromise. They want drama, and a fight just so they can be right. However my destruction came in the form of his owning the kids. That was why I didn’t divorce until the kids were gone. He trained them to blame me for everything and I had to be the bad guy who said “no”. When I left he was shocked because he still controls them, and now the grandkids are his too. Oh well he could die before me because he’s an alcoholic and then maybe I’ll be invited to a graduation or wedding. Whoppee

My ex Narc has been spiteful since the day we separated 22 years ago. He's a miserable person who lives in his own world. He's not only lost me because of his behaviour, overall feelings of superiority, and need to control - he's lost long term friendships because people just got tired of him treating them so badly. And yet, we're the ones to blame? I don't think so!

Man, this happened far too often. Common phrase I heard often was “You hurt me, now I hurt you!” Kept thinking inside, “Is that really how we resolve conflict? By creating more hurt?” So glad I’m working on being assertive, changing my anger style, and delicately detaching when needed. Thankful for coming across this channel.

The Narcs game is a black and white game only. There are no winners at all. It's a lose-lose game. Starting their game by painting you white (lovebombing) while they are only focussing on black (control) and at their endgame there is only destruction (black) possible. And in comparison to a real game: 1. The players start with a free choice and awareness to play together. > You enter the Narcs game unaware and so you never had a choice at the first place. 2. All players know the rules of the game. > A Narc will not inform you of the rules because one of their favourite demands is "Read my mind!" 3. All players are playing a game in a certain order. > ,A Narc is just playing out his mess onto you. 4. The reason for playing a game is a social event to communicate with each other and enjoying time together. > A Narc is never communicating for he is not interested in communication and the only person who might have fun in his game is himself. 5. A game can be a competition, so there might be loosers and winners. > A Narcs game is always a competition and he is the one who has to win under all circumstances. 6. When there are loosers in a game, this might be a motivation for the next play and/or they are just happy for the winner(s). > A Narc is not allowed to loose and if he has the feeling of loosing, he will put you in your place by raging or other invalidations. 7. When the play ends, all players might have had a good time by just having been together. > When a Narc ends the game, this will be your discard and you are not allowed to play any further - unless he hoovers you. But then you hopefully have gone no contact already so there will be no next round anymore for you of playing a game of endless chaos and destruction.

You need to be ready to go your own way if you get to this place where they are spiteful. Others around may not get it, but sometimes getting to this point is the only choice. I'm going through this at work, and the main narcissist that is surrounded by "co-narcissists" is hard to navigate, but I am creative and committed to self. I don't want to play their games. I'm done. (I am also at 8 years+ no-contact with an even worse situation and I never looked back.)

I HAVE A NEW MOTTO FOR MY LIFE JUST SAY NO TO NARCIISST THE SCAPEGOAT HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

I was just wondering this just yesterday, DrC! I had to pick up some things for the store and while I was out, I witness a young 20ish gal screaming at her dad in the parking lot and her dad keeping his cool and just taking it. It was for sure she wanted everyone in the busy shopping area to hear her but there was no way anyone could tell what she was complaining about. It made me feel bad for both of them and I wondered to myself- what could she possible hope to gain from such stressful behavior for herself, not to mention the dad. It was a sad sight! Edited for typos

I have had a horrible time with Narcissists. They have wrecked my life. I am actually mentally handicapped because of all the trauma my parents put me through, repeatedly beating me unconscious & both sexually abusing me. I have also been appallingly treated by Narcissists as an adult. I do feel really angry about it. Fiercely, which I am about to start using to start a campaign to change things for vulnerable people who are on their own, who get bullied by neighbors etc & have, at present, no-where to go for help. But sometimes I feel sorry for Narcissists. I may be able to walk away from them but they can't. Last year I had over one hundred things stolen from me by a rogue support worker with NPD. This included many irreplaceable things such as all my examination certificates, all the pictures in existence of me as a child except one. My parents wedding album. Pictures of friends who have died. The only picture & gift I had from my Godmother. My lovely metal paintboxes I kept from when I was at college. The pretty old plates I had collected. An early edition of my favourite book. My favourite ornaments. All that on top of clothing etc that I needed. This still hurts a lot! But what has she acheived for herself? She has just confirmed thoroughly to herself that she is nothing but a dirty low-down dirty 'tea-leaf' who steals from disabled people she is being paid to help. No matter what she tells herself, at some level that is what she knows about herself & she cannot really get away from that. Have I been to the police? No. Because she has already tried to kill me once, but if I go to the police, they will immediately go to her & tell her what I have said. The law needs changing, Narcissists are often both viciously vengeful & psycopathic. This woman is extremely dangerous.

They view You are just a piece of equipment that they can use

Only spite against you will alleviate their intense hatred and anger inside. The moment one spots a narcissist, its much better to leave the relationship no matter how it seems positive in the beginning. Their evil will eventually emerge, and they have a new target on whom to spew their venom and evil.

This video described exactly how everything has happened to me once I had my moment to call him out. He has treated me terribly. I feel set-up over and over again. It’s so hard to reconcile in my being that nothing I feel or say matters. It’s so hurtful and emotionally exhausting. I can logically see him for what he “is not”, but I struggle to believe in myself enough to exit both a friendship and romantic relationship I have had for so very long. It seems unbearable that he is truly not a good person. My heart is broken. 💔

I have 2 younger siblings that are narcissistic. So I knew when I recently had a friend that her true colors came out. I was truly hurt when she asked me to borrow my car to get her drivers license & wanted to go 50 miles down the road instead of 12 miles just because they were friendlier & more laid back. I told her she could use it but her reasons did not justify the extra miles. So she said she would find someone else & just forget it. I wished her good luck & told her when you ask someone for a favor you shouldn’t put stipulations on it. Needless to say we aren’t friends now. I feel free as a bird!!

Ppl say I've changed. I say thank u! GOD gave me a thick back bone & I stand up to narcissist & anyone who think they can talk down to me. GOD helped me to be a King David CHRISTIAN. A Strong warrior who's very compassionate with a big heart, but won't let anyone step all over it!!!

my narc sister hates and blames me for her financial situation but shoots down and curses me for offering a solution. it's like she would prefer to just keep on hating me and wants to hold on to the excuse

I find that my narcissistic family is doing fine. They all get along. I am the one on the outer, and many friends and others in my life have used me, taken advantage of me and manipulated me.

I know this feeling. Am going through it right now. Broke contact with someone and they're going out of their way to accuse me of a whole bunch of things to my friends. Luckily. my friends didn't fall for it and are still with me, but that situation really scared me.

MY 50 year old son, never quits blaming me, or my husband. He blames us for stuff we dont even know what he's talking about. Everything is our fault. We are both exhausted with him. I think what has really helped us is to say, Its not my fault. It's like a weight gets lifted. Were both struggling but are reaching out, holding on to the peace we haven't had in decades. Knowledge is power.

I hope your throat is feeling better. I feel bad that you suffered to make this video for us to help us heal. I'm returning healing wishes to you. 💗❣️💗❣️💗

I so wish I had seen your videos sooner!!!

Very well said! Thank you Mr Carter! I’m happier, strong, and thriving with the narcissistic father of my children out of my personal sphere. I’m Me Myself and I again and loving me!

Thank you for all the insight and direction. My adult daughter is narcissistic but she has learned it from her father that I’ve put up with for over 36 years. But it has just been the past 2-3 years that I’ve recognized he is narcissistic, didn’t even know what that was until someone told me that my husband is. But now watching videos and it has dawned on me that my daughter is as well. Bad news is I haven’t gotten to see 2 of my grandsons for almost a year. ( and she is pregnant now) I have given it to God and keep praying for all involved.

Thank you so much. I am currently divorcing my narcicsist after 11 years of marriage and silent narc abuse. He is throwing a lot of low blows at me. I have now become the terrible person that he is touting me to be, so he thinks🌝. If not for you and others talking about narcissism, I would be absolutely shattered by this experience. It can be life shattering, but when you know you are dealing with demons, you know how to fight back and eventually get your life back. Thank you.

The only way to save yourself is to just not be there. There is no trying to get them to understand, no negotiation, nothing you can say or do to change the situation. Setting up boundaries is way too much work. They never abide by them anyway. My narcissistic momster divided up the family with her lies and deceptions. Thankfully there is little family left to use and deceive. If you look around nursing homes and see a lot but not all the people who never have a visitor, it’s probably because of all the bridges they burned in their life. They end up old, angry, bitter, resentful and awful to be around. Nursing staff will call a family member if something comes up with them and the family says, don’t call me again unless she’s dead. Sad but true.

All my life, my mom has used me as her punching bag. My feelings didnt exist, but I was responsible for regulating her emotions. If she was mad, it was my fault and I had to fix it. As an adult, I still catch myself in that role. My mom does many nice things for me, but she takes them back and withholds affection if I offend her. Love is something she gives me so she has something to take away. In my third trimester of pregnancy, she stopped talking to me because I called out her hurtful behavior. She missed all my doctor visits. I spent a week in the hospital and she never checked in to see if I was okay. She missed the birth of my daughter, her first grandchild, all to punish me and because she is too proud to say “I’m sorry.” I always knew she was emotionally broken, but this was very eye opening. It hurts to see that she is incapable of loving me and that my daughter and I are just better off without her, but it’s true.

Thank you Dr. C for all your helpful videos. I have been verbally abused by my partner for 4 years and I cower in a corner like a helpless mouse every time he goes into his violent rages, terrified he'll take my life, as he's promised all these years. He told me my life will be history. He's already pointed his loaded hand gun at me in my stomach, hoping it would go off to get rid of me, and claim his innocence. I should have reported that to the police, but I am terrified of him. I'm in the process of trying to escape safely before I lose my sanity. Please keep me in your prayers.

Thank you for this. I can get away from the narcissistic friend . She was never a friend.

I found out that documented evidences against narcissist is the best tool to make him or her get on their knees and dealing with him with no mercy.

What happens when the narcissists are family members that you can’t extract from,….. such as a sister and a mother?

The.... Well you.....and... No I'm not...... To create drama.. I'm sick of it. They want negstive failure of everything. Even their own behavior creates failure for themselves. As long as they can blame you.

Everyone you dislike is not a narcissist. Some people are understandably pissed at others' bad behavior.

You really hit the nail on the head with this video! This is so validating!! Thanks so much Dr. Carter!

Dr C, you are such a comfort to me. I breathe a sigh of relief every time you touch on exactly what I'm going through; I no longer feel like I'm delusional. I shared one of your videos with a family member and it was so informative and insightful for my family. They said, wow it's everything you've been telling us about your spouse! Thank you so much 🎉

Being the child of an extremely narcissistic mother (with characteristics of a psychopath/sociopath also) has destroyed my entire life. She’s gone now and the damage she caused still remains in the repeated smear campaigns she led for years, even when I didn’t even live in the same state as her! 2000 miles away wasn’t far enough to be protected from her evil.