What Narcissist Attributes to YOU

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What Narcissist Attributes to YOU

Рет қаралды 23,138

Жыл бұрын

Only the narcissist is the cause of his intimate partner's behaviors. No other causes are ever present during the idealization phase. When the narcissist withdraws (decathects and devalues), he ceases to exist as a cause and only other causes operate. This results in splitting and paranoia (other causes are all bad, narcissist all good).
The narcissist is omnipresent and always present because he interacts only with internal objects. So he is the cause of both the behavior - and its absence!
This dialectic is resolved by having to radically transform the traits and identity of the internal objects - or by denying reality (e.g., by reframing inaction as action).
Narcissists and even moreso psychopaths adhere to a rigid entity theory, cathect it (are proud of their rigidities), and convert it into an ideology, organizing and interpretative principles, and set of rules and values (axiology and deontology).
In cluster B PDs, the motives can be self-defeat, self-handicap, self-harm, self-trashing, and self-destruction. Rational self-love is inhibited. The mirror image of mental health.
Observing the behaviors of people with cluster B PDs leads to wrong inferences. They are compulsive, not free; chaotic not intentional (identity disturbance); always act abnormally and always in a way that brings opprobrium and worse (penalties).
Narcissist confuses external and internal objects and his cognition is distorted (grandiosity).
So, he is incapable of situational attribution, only of the dispositional kind with regards to the positive aspects of himself (grandiosity, hyperreflexivity) - and incapable of dispositional attribution only of the situational kind when it comes to the negative aspects of himself (alloplastic defenses).
He is incapable of any kind of attribution with regards to others. This is especially evident in the shared fantasy.
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Пікірлер: 17

@marian9802 Жыл бұрын

Its fascinating how clearly it was explained why my boss always blames other people for mistakes and thinks that only he is doing any real work here

@mariasartzis-Sartzis-PELLICIER Жыл бұрын

This is a FANTASTIC explanation of narcissistic causes and behaviors! TRULY, Professor Vaknin is The the, THE, LEADING EXPERT of narcissism. This whole explanation/break down explained and described my soon-to-be EX-husband and how he behaved and what he was thinking/feeling.

@enjerth78 Жыл бұрын

My layperson theory/analogy of NPD.... being a slave to Alien Hand Syndrome. The alien hand is both associated and disassociated with the person, depending on what it's doing. The alien hand may be manipulating people and circumstances in favor of it's person. If they are aware of it doing good for them, they associate with the hand. Seeing the alien hand manipulate people and circumstances to their benefit, while they associate with it, gives them the perspective of the prime mover of that which is good. If the hand is manipulating circumstances to the detriment of someone else, they deserved it because they're a bad object. There's no need to associate with the alien hand, the good hand has judged them itself. If the hand is manipulating circumstances to the detriment of it's own person, then the hand is associated with the bad object that's causing the circumstances. They have to redirect or retrain the hand attack to the bad object that aroused it to attack it's person. But I am not responsible for anything my alien hand does. If I did take responsibility and make a personal account of what my alien hand is doing, I might take control of it. Then I have to make all the scary decisions in life for myself. The alien hand is always good to me, guides me the right way, and protects me.

@lilecklamovska7006 Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Professor Vaknin God Bless You

@neomaredi5922 6 ай бұрын

Wow! Such a comprehensive and succinct description. Thanks prof, your work is by far the most full and robust explanation on the matter

@janinabanana9782 Жыл бұрын

Hi handsome Prof. Sam, watching from Deutschland 😊

@maryritch Жыл бұрын

I didn't plead when she left. I was hoping she'd leave and move in with my replacement but my boyfriend was pissed because he was out money. I had witnessed a murder, was raped, was bullied in school and scapegoated at home. I could barely catch up! I checked out of life. It hurt too much. Also I triggered narcs to bully me because I was trying to get the trauma out. They can never not be the center of attention. They want you sick!!! I had just started taking therapy and mental health seriously and she slid in with her lies. Abuse was sometimes hourly with her. But in the rare instances I felt myself around her, it was fun because she's a child still. But the kind that isn't fun. The one that remembers peoples names from middle school you haven't thought of in 15 years. But they remember everything lol. Red flag with those people. But getting help got these warts off me. That's for sure

@SusanaXpeace2u Жыл бұрын

I am mad, bad and sad in my mother's eyes.

@ferif1508 2 ай бұрын

Same

@hahdhsjsjrkfn Жыл бұрын

Professor, does a psychopathic narcissist ever stop abusing you without you doing anything to cause it? Do they randomly just say "Ill just discard her" and find a new victim?

@samvaknin Жыл бұрын

Yes, they do.

@SadisticLifeTrap Жыл бұрын

Binary Emulators of the world unite

@whitephilip1445 3 ай бұрын

is it possible that a nacissist would try to convince himself that the cheating must have been rape? because there is just no way his wife would actually cheat on him.

@samvaknin 3 ай бұрын

Yes. Delusional reframing.

@whitephilip1445 3 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin thank you for the reply! my friend acutally caught his wife having sex with another man at a party, they accused him of rape but it was all caught on security camera and it was obvious it wasnt so na charges were pressed. 2 years later he is still telling himself it was rape, always having some revenge fantasies. it crazy, nothing will convince him that she simply cheated.