- Being publicly exposed - Losing control about their environment - Being normal, not special - Owning responsibility for their attitude and actions - Going to a very skilled therapist - Boundaries of others that they cannot be breached - Not believing their (double) lives - Facing their low self-worth when inflated ego is crumbling away Etc..

Yes. His biggest lie to himself & the world is that he’s a good person.

Why are narcissists not afraid to lose control of themselves? Those that are violent, yell, threaten, throw things, and have addictions don't seem to notice that while they are desperate to control others, the person they should be controlling is themselves. My ex actually said that behavior is not a choice- a perfect excuse for never even attempting any semblance of self control.

This literally had me in tears!! 15 years of marriage and I’m finally getting divorced. I wish I left sooner. Thank you so much for your informative videos. It has helped me tremendously. It took me 11 years to realize my soon to be ex husband is a NARC. I actually don’t even hate him. I feel very bad for him, but I’m OUT!

Everything that narcissists do to make people think they're superior.... ends up making narcissists look bad. People have eyes.

I’ve been trying to detox for nearly 2 years. Still stuck ruminating thinking I lost great love. I know I didn’t, but my heart doesn’t get it.

It’s crazy how you’re describing a Narcissist, but you’re also describing my ex gf to a T. Her biggest fears are rejection, abandonment, being exposed, shame, and being humiliated.

Narcissists create their own pitfalls. They invite negativity, but don't want to own up to it… And when they try to sabotage others, they end up sabotaging themselves. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

They always have to be in competition and think life is a game. I am not in competition with anyone and if they feel better by putting me down then let them do it because I don't need validation and don't give a shit that people hate me and don't like my presence. They stalk they become obsessive. In a major way I feel sorry for a lot of them because they are dead on the inside.

My last Narc is terrified to be alone and he'll invite people he HATES over before he'll be alone, including indulging in a relationship with a female he hates.

Leaving a narcissist roommate tomorrow 😘😘

I am really grateful for you and Lee. REAAAALLLY wish I had found you guys early in the relationship b/c I would have got out before I got hurt. But everything happens when it is supposed to. Here's to healing, thankful for what you guys do!

I pulled a big one. Mutual break up with my narcissist was April 27 after 13 YEARS. 13 days later, He takes a girl on a date and she posts how wonderful the date was on Facebook. I went ahead and commented that anyone capable of going on a date after 13 days following a 13 year relationship was obviously a narcissistic personality disorder. 😻 I’ve known he was a narcissist for the last three years and I have been kind of combating that, versus trying to change it and in the last year I was just ignoring him. He did not like to be outed, and immediately got his shit out of my house. She blocked me. 😃 I unfriended him. 👍🏻

Abandonment, exposure and losing control

5 lessons I wish I could teach Narcissists 1. We love you. No matter what your imperfections are. We don't care. We love you. 2. Our criticism is to make you stop you're bullshit so you stop hurting yourself hurting others and sabotaging your life 3. We will not abandon you. We are not those people who hurt you. Stop lumping us into your past abusers. We are here for you. Ride or die. How can you not see this????? 4. Take off your mask and show us who you are. Stop being scared. Once again we love you. 5. If we do abandon you it's because we don't know what else to do.

Thank you for helping victim/survivors by telling us things that you don't have to but choose to!

Projected insecurities feel unreal! The greater the fears the greater the ego projections. Wildest ride on the crazy train 🤡. I was told "im scared of you". My response was "you know i love you". All fear is the fear of love🙏🏽

I think my Ex was more afraid of being held accountable for his part (it takes two to make or break is a phrase someone once told me) in our downfall, than what he was at losing control over me. 🍒

They always say im a good person! Everyones like ok

Narcissists create their own pitfalls. They invite negativity, but don't want to own up to it… And when they try to sabotage others, they end up sabotaging themselves. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

Completely take your power back people show them

I am struggling SO much with someone who I am pretty certain suffers from NPD. I was recently discovered to be Autistic, with a ridiculous list of comorbitites… but during my journey I was mostly accused of suffering from NPD. So I went there, tried to be assessed, studied and studied and now my mind is completely gripped in self discovery. The relationship I am leaving right now, to me fits the NPD description… constant verbal ‘directions’, weird/private rage sessions that solely revolve around me believing something they need me to see or believe. I have never been so confused in my entire life, and while I am navigating learning about me and autism, I also have to navigate this situation with this person. Ultimately, I begged for therapy, begged for non toxic communication and real vulnerability/intention, I fought hard for it… ultimately, they would not do this, they could not do this. I decided my mental health was so at risk, so seriously at risk, that I decided to end ALL contact. My heart hurts a lot doing this, but I need to feel I can literally breath. I’ve felt like I was on the verge of a heart attack/stroke for every minute of months… it’s not okay. I’m doing my best… and your videos have helped. I found you through Lee, who is my main go-to and has helped me immensely with his content. Grateful you exist. I wish my narc could have made the same journey… it’s heartbreaking, to me.

When he condems others for doing something that he turns around and does him self just days later.

They hate that you know many things that they think you don't know. They also hate that you cracked their mask and that you caught em slipping. I absolutely cannot stand a religious narcissist.

I’m so glad to be “regular”…The ones who have to be special all the time really are flaming narcs. Exhausting.

I wish I had found you earlier. It took 15 years to realized what I was going through with a narcissist husband! He hurt me in in ways nobody ever hurt me! It's been 118 days since I had to discard him. The sadness does show up on and off. My life will be better once the divorce paper is filled.

Every video I watch of yours brings me more clarity and helps with the healing. Thank you Ben 🙏

What a narcissist doesn't always realize is that when they try to use sex as a weapon to manipulate people they are in fact showing vulnerability and if they come across the wrong person they can actually be manipulated by a malignant or ultra narcissist. My male narcissistic coworker shows his vulnerability around me all the time. He shows me his human side. I don't let him know I'm aware he's a narcissist. I treat him like another human being.

Something I got curious about was how would a self aware narcissist react to a toxic narcissist that isn't aware? Or how would it affect both?

My wife have done horrible things to me but she would cry and scream that she’s a good person. I told my wife that I was leaving and she start crying and saying please don’t abandon me.

A suggestion: those 4 fears should be weaponized for those who want to escape. No hoovers if you used this 4 fears against a narcissist. Guaranteed

When we had only dated a couple months. We were out having dinner and I mentioned to him, I’m more of about macro managing, always looking at the whole picture. I hate people that micromanage. And of course he agreed, they just mirror you.

I love your vulnerability,desire for change, research work may God help you to become better because he works with anyone who is willing

the x opp wore glasses like that when he was feeling / acting vulnerable / fragile narc ... I hate them

its crazy its like a child with all that hurt underneath and entitled, and like many people in the world narcisists come from a background of trauma, like some empaths or codependents that grew up in trauma but didnt turn into narcs...... Narcs are micromanagers and controllers so the more their core wounds are triggered the more they try to control with these different tactics.... And they hurt others while doing so, unfortunately. Im 3 years into my healing journey from narc abuse / cptsd cause i had a narc parent growing up. Been watching lee hammock last year cause i dealt with a smear campaign, i go to support groups for trauma for about 3 years they're self-directed without a therapist, and here and there ive done some therapy and had some therapeutic help on and off....... To see so clearly that they are coming from a place of insecurity as it was shown yet again, in a video like this, is good. I called out a lot of narcs' in these support groups i go to for continuing to be abusive, even in safe places (these support groups), i assume ive been just one of many to call them out and highlight their deepest fears right in their face. No one is unloveable or defective, but when narc people are so damn controlling, micromanagers and entitled to try and cross so many boundaries they become a pain in everyone's ass and a reminder to back off and respect other peoples rights and space is helpful and appropiate. They see a reminder that they need to respect other peoples boundaries as a narc injury unfortunately. They have some healing to do for sure. Adults dont want any one to try and be always controlling them, and they struggle to have authentic relationships even if its, acquaintances that have a group in common, by respecting others and not being in control. That spontaneity and authenticity might be hard for these narcs. So i wish them healing , but many of us dont want any of our rights and freedoms and expression or authenticity or right to take our space tarnished with. They really struggle to respect that. Wishing them healing from that and that they can learn to respect others rights and freedoms for their own good, and so they stop being a pain in the back!Thanks for the video , we keep healing

Oh my God it was soo painful! Im never dating or going back

Thank you for accepting your flaw and the harm it’s done in your life and thank you for turning that into helping others from pain and suffering through understanding

My ex narc was afraid of everything! Literally

The thing is these folks are afraid of being rejected. Because the reject and abandon their selves everyday.

I told my narc I’m leaving that I didn’t love him anymore and that doesn’t do any good I see. He doesn’t believe me. Hah! Lesson learned.

Thank you Ben.

Thank you Ben and Lee because I feel so free of this disorder now. i wont be a victim anymore thanks to this info and this is the fastest recovery I had from narc abuse this waa a covert narc vompletely tricked me but guess what I so over it and getting back to me now workouting out shoping for myself careing and Loving me 😁😀😂❤✌🏾💯🎉

Thank you...so much

It's incredible to me on how much you have educated yourself in such a short time! That fact that you are out here helping victims of this abuse seems to me that God had a plan for you all along. Thank you and God bless!

Please make a video about the psychological battle of the smear campaign thank you so much 💯

Then according to this list? I’m his worst nightmare. 🤣

The anxiety and weight gain. Ooof.

Oh we see!

God bless you brother and everyone connected to your ministry 🌈🌈🩸

100% correct. My narc was very typical and was all of these things!

Videos like these, for me, easily evoke compassion. I definitely have some trauma bonding issues. Probably going to have to break down and finally do a 1 on 1. I was really starting to feel fed up with my guy…but for whatever reason…a massive temptation came over me this afternoon…and I just almost opened his last message

Thank you for the book recommendation, Ben.

Hoping for a video collaboration you, lee and Dr Ramani :)

I love all the book recommendations!! 📖

Your book recommendations are amazing please make a list on a website or something! dont want to miss one!

Great 🥳🥳🥳 Then I already got my revenge on my ex narc 🥳🥳🥳 I saw who he really was during our fights. What I saw when his mask slipped (I think he got really surprised when he got a taste of my rage haha) I saw a little insecure boy in a grown man’s body!! I know that he knew that I saw him mask off, he’s exposed!!

I don't know what to say about this one, Ben. I guess I know how it feels to be the Phantom of the Opera.

Took my emotions out of the way n totally all of the above kick her ass.😊

I just mentioned something small like u never text 1st and boy my narc friend went off.. saying I'm so critical..don't I realize he is sensitive and he ended the friendship ..

Your awesome Ben!!

Yes! Dr. Ramani.

I just downloaded your app what a great resource and you have a lot of positive reviews

This is helpful. Thank you.

THEMSELVES-

What about when she telling everyone that she’s the one that cheated and messed up the relationship and that I was a perfect husband and father? Is it a trick or some type of manipulation tactic?

Thanks!

Thats all they have is imagine 😂

Man alive it was ALWAYS when I was starting to gain weight/muscle both physically and metaphorically & spiritually that like a hawk-he would swoop from the sky. Only FURTHER leading me to believe him that it was me (inner dialogue: of course I was more attractive as a healthy person) but, yes, cognitive dissonance: why am I only not healthy with this person? Hmmm. Very very difficult when this was age 21 till age 40. I had no one to really compare my life long partner and husband/father of my kids to

Whats crazy Ben, is that I was on the way to your ig to ask this question. And you posted a video with reasons why. Lets see whats going on here. Interesting in watching this

On the other side of our last breath is excruciating punishment or eternal joy. If you have not repented and Jesus has not transformed you, you might be in big trouble.There are some essential commands Jesus said. One was REPENT and believe the gospel. The next, the first verse below shows where someone asked Jesus about who is getting saved and Jesus said there is a narrow gate you MUST enter MANY will try and they will not be able. The seriousness and the cruciality of that statement is unmeasurable. Considering the stark differences these few phrases will have in someone's eternal destiny.This is Christ's measure of who has come to him and anyone who falls short of this will be cast out forever. In the fire that is unquenchable. Truly Horrifying. Jesus trains his servants in the great fire of affliction, giving them a glimmer of hell so they can warn others. Someone said in psalms IT IS good that I was afflicted that is how I learned your statues. And Jesus said faint not at my tribulations for you, which are for your glory. This is showing where a believer gets a taste of tribulations. And we know in the end will be the GREAT TRIBULATION WHERE God comes and renders judgement. Some things that keep us from God can be a love for money, self will, self pride, and not forsaking our own desires. Jesus wants all of us in exchange for eternal life. He says you were bought with a price. He's saying i purchased you, I redeemed you but I have some very high expectations of you. Which are to pray continuously, to continue reading the bible, to give a tenth of all you have to the church, to visit the widow and the fatherless in their affliction, to help those in need, to pray for the lost, and to go make disciples out of every nation. Spreading the word of God is not just for a preacher it is a job for all believers. We have to let people know what is at stake, we must fully inform ppl about what the bible says in hope of snatching them out of the clutches of Satan on the path to hell, totally blinded by the world. Serious self examination is necessary because the stakes are high. There is so much evidence in the bible of salvation and if you have none of it You are likely in big trouble and need to immediately throw yourself on the mercy of God and repent for sins and turn to Jesus in hopes that he will spare your soul from the lake of fire. The bible says if our gospel is hid, it is hid from those who are perishing, the God of this world (satan) has blinded their eyes so they cant see and cannot hear). PERISHING in contrast Jesus said he who believes in me WIll never die. Remember God knows whats in the heart if it is a life saving faith. Or do you have a kind of faith where none of this is really relevant, merely a waste of time. Jesus really asks for very little in light of eternal bliss, a Kingdom that will never end. With perfect justice and peace. Even in our life today though we have to give us things his way is better. He is the way the truth and the life and as the bible says broad is the way that leads to destruction. But that Narrow gate Jesus mentions leads to life. Jesus said if you seek me you will find me if you seek me with all your heart. Romans 10:9 if you can confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your that God has raised him from the dead you shall be saved. It is with the mouth one confesses and with the heart one believes unto salvation. Whoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them,24Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.25When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are:26Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets.27But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all workers of iniquity.28There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you thrust out. 12 13But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 14For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end; 15While it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation.

I have an ocd with cleanliness and micromanagement. Many leaders, mothers etc also have it. Sometimes.. ppl do it unconsciously. Does it mean they are narcissistic. Actually everytime I watch your or Lee's video I first direct it to me and try to understand if it's me.. cos I went into therapy because i thought something is wrong with me. Didn't know abt narcissist then.

you are so beautiful to share important information, Thank you so so so much.... 👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

@ Raw Motivations. Thanks for what you do. Have you ever read “The first shall be last” by RC ROBERTSSON? If so, would you be willing to share your observations from it?

The only reliable channel of narcissism is Sam Vaknin no BS, seriously!

I really am curious why you encourage us all to leave but don’t encourage your wives to leave. Do you not want better for them ?

Can I ask how deep your vulnerability goes when you are alone?

What's a Narrassist like up under the mask???

Why the hell would you all want a one on one with a narc? That's idiotic, you're trying to heal in order NOT to attract a narc but subscribe and get coached by one.

Very informative Ben, thanks !