Of course a Narcissist will be surprised because they are so self consumed in themselves they think they can do no wrong and everyone will fall at their feet. 🍒

The narcissist is in the habit of threatening their partner because they themselves feel threatened. Narcissists have a fear of being controlled so they become the controller. This video was very helpful, thank you.🌟

A narcissist will control everything you do, not let you make a decision, then say you owe them for all they do for you.

She blocked me on everything because she was punishing me for holding her accountable. Blocked her right back & she didn’t expect it

If you are a narc this is VERY SIMPLE to understand. Would you want to be controlled? No? Then others don't want to be controlled either. It's that simple: if you wouldn't like it, other people wouldn't like it either. On the other hand, if there is something you would like, i.e., you would like people to be kind to you, then that's what others would like to i.e. they would like you to be kind to them. It really is that simple. If you don't want people to leave you, TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. Lying, cheating, control, & manipulation will only ever push people away, eventually.

10:40 Exactly! "Was it that bad" God, I'm so BRAINWASHED! I know what happened during that time with him 😢 pure evil and madness.

My ex Narc was very jealous, assumed the worst.

I know I surprised my ex when I ghosted her😆😆😆😆 No warning, I just disappeared on her when her desperation, & longing for attention had reached a fever pitch. She tried to contact me, but I refused to respond leaving her out in the cold. It so good to be free of her!!

I don’t see many comment about same sex relationships. I’m older. My narcissistic was much younger. He didn’t even hide seeing numerous other people under the guise that he was young and needed the experiences. Yet, he constantly told me he loved me. So when he met a new supply that offered him lots of material things like trips around the world. This was his new “friend” and it didn’t affect our “friendship “even though he cut off all physical contact. This was a bridge too far for me. I didn’t let him control me into this. 50 days free. Blocked him.

I wish everyone (the men in my life) were willing to do the work on themselves that you’re doing. You give me hope ! Thanks for taking responsibility and being man enough to heal and grow out of your toxic ways. We see you and you are very much appreciated !!

My narc ex gf used to say “you’re the boss I’m just mini boss”…..it was bullshit, I never once felt like the boss and I said to her relationships are 50/50. And I called her out saying that she was the boss but she denied it constantly

Most discarded people should be flattered by the new supply... because the narcissist takes on the personality of the discard and the new supply falls in like/love with the discards character played by the narc

As long as they controlled the narrative, what food went in the kitchen and what I believed, all was well. I question the 13 years I spent with my narc Mom and stepfather and wonder who I was. I was afraid to be anything else than what they expected.

My ex wife still tries this shit. She literally just called and said I don't put forth effort for her to see our child. I have been taking care of our child for the past three years and can't afford to take time off work because I'm behind on bills and have to provide for our son. Crazy part is she makes way more money than I do.

Yes I had one like that. He tried to controll me, he wanted that I move in very quickly, he hired me so that I quit my other job, and he got control over my whole life. The day I broke free and got away for the last time he wasn't only surprised... he said he was in Schock! Now I'm healing and I feel safe😊

My Ex is a covert Narc. We didn't live together, the relationship lasted two years before I was able to leave. He never had a single proper relationship. He's part of a left- wing movement and calls himself a Feminist, so he never manipulated me visibly, insulted me as a women and he never really asked me to do anything for him. Still he was able to get whatever he wanted. By playing the victim , triangulating with other women, breadcrumbing and all the other narcissistic tactics. Never felt bad like this in any relationship before. Because of his behaviours I found out my mother is a covert Narc, that's why I ended traumabonded to him. It was hell, without any open abuse, force, manipulation at all. When I finally split up, I've already tried to leave sooo many times that he was arrogant enough to tell me : "You'll never leave me, anyway! "

2:00 I am so glad you know that most of us die never meeting that person but that healthy monogamous relationships along with all other healthy types of relationships built on consent responsibility are important for all people to experience and see .. and that couples feel all people contribute to their lives. I think this is starting to be more common & it is so great that people are discussing their healthy friendships & relationships and doing it together

I met this man about a year after my husband died. He was quiet but nice. I had sold my house on the advice of my sister, whom I didn't really know because I was born with a birth defect, heart partially outside my body. Then at 23 years old I had Spinal Cord Cancer, and so to be "loved" was felt so good. I had bought a new double wide home, and he was to sell me some land so I had it moved, when it was only 6 months old, over to his land. I paid cash for all of that and after the Narc poor mouthed I bought his need and got financially failed. About 3 months in he started gaslighting me, turned everyone against me and smeared my name so none of "his" people would talk to me. He had lied about his age. He was 9 years older. He lied about the trouble he had been in. I was raised in an alcoholic household and couldn't take that again. He said he quit drinking 20 years prior. I finally found out he had legal issues, felony, with DUI's. He started cursing me degrading me, yelling at me, calling me horrible names cheating, living on dating sites......he was an awful person. My therapist answered my questions after she met him.....I said, "He acts like a narcissist." I had been researching his actions. God's gift to women, everyone loved him, adoring himself... He became a dull fledged drunk. I found myself hiding in my closet again. That's how I protected myself earlier in life. Fast forward 6 years and I am still here, saving everything I can to move. I can't work due to the Spinal Cord Cancer. He tells me how much my daughter hates me. He tells me my dog hates me and that my late husband cheated and he was a liar. I found my late husband dead in our front yard. He was onlyv46 and just retired from the Army. He was truly an awesome man but I have been forbade to put any pictures out of him our even say his name. This narcissist doesn't let me take myself places I have my car and my husband's truck. My house was built to accommodate multiple handicap needs...my legs get crazy sometimes. Now, I am trying to find me again, escape him and be able to live again. He has NO Emotions so if I even smile or laugh he yells and goes into nard rage. Last thing , I guess is no human contact in 6 years. He has NO friends and I learned to be the good "supply" hoping to making me happy. It's never happened. I don't want a relationship with him! I havevwatched his actions over the past 2 years and they tell the truth. His words are garbage. Oh, there are no women's shelters here. There are no support groups. I live in a one horse town with a red light andv14 miles from any sign of civilization. I fight the demons (thoughts that he tells me ugly things about myself and I have n one) and pray hard every day, to escape a smile again.

Great content on your channel. I thought I'd watched every useful video there was, but I'm finding lots of fresh, useful info here. I'm in the detox, trauma bond breaking phase after a 25 year marriage.

When I insulted my narcissistic friend, he was surprised. He has been shocked since the day I insulted him, too.

My ex just had a PFA filed against me because I was finally leaving. I was at the house with our 9 yr. old son packing. He tried to start an argument but I wouldn't react so he went into a rage, broke my phone, disabled my vehicle and left. The next day I got my car running and was loading it with our stuff when a sheriff showed up and gave us 5 minutes to get out. He payed $4500 for a lawyer knowing I would have no evidence and would probably be emotional and unprepared. He also knows that unlike him, I have always been intimidated by any threat of legal action because I have never been the type of person who did things that could get me in trouble. I knew he was going to show up clean shaven and put on his best face for the judge. I did the unthinkable and did not show up. The thought of him walking in there expecting me to be a complete mess and getting NOTHING but a $4500 piece of paper has given me a reason to smile as I try to get back in the game and defend myself. He has been spiraling out of control more each day that passes because he has custody on paper but has no idea where my son and I are and all attempts to locate us have failed. Im expecting him to reach the point of complete desperation and drop the whole thing but I'm now prepared to fight him and win. They are cowards and when things don't go the way they expect it shakes them to their core and they crumble. Either way, I chose to handle him on my terms and on my time. Take back control of your life by knowing yourself and not allowing fear to force you to play by their rules. It's been scary but I needed to be away from him and just have time with my children doing normal things for the first time in years. I thought I would never be ok again but just a couple of weeks of no contact has been incredibly healing. I am now grateful to him for forcing me to walk away with nothing because I was trying so hard to leave for so long and it may have never ended. There is nothing sentimental or valuable that is worth your sanity or your time. If you have children you need to realize that your presence and time given to your children is something you can never get back and do what you need to put that first, even if you end up homeless and broke. God works in mysterious ways. Have faith. ❤️

Smothering control sucks and its good to keep healthy boundaries and distance from that type of people and their energy. Nothing about them is real and spontaneous everything is controlling and their energy kinda sucks, but i recognize a lot of narcisists get help. i go to 12 group one that talks about growing up in a abusive or neglecting house hold. My dad is a narcisist who Im not sure has gotten much help though he probably has gotten some of it. In the 12 step i goto there are narcissitic people since narc's come from traumatic childhood. But im an empath, who had anarc parent and I had very low self esteem, and all of that untill i was 28 and i started recovering , and found safe enough people also did some emdr, I prayed a lot, had already been sober from alcohol for a while, had psychoeducation enough to know that alcoholism is an attempt to numb trauma, which is something I knew because after i lived 2 years alone with my controlling father who scapegoated me , i needed to be drinking all the time , after i left that home. I found my way into support groups that talk about trauma, and found a safe enough person to share with , he encouraged me to start being more gentle and re-learn my boundaries, my healthy agression. It was also a process but the concept of selfcompassion was sinking in, and the idea of good boundaries to keep my worth and dignity , and not put up with criticism or shaming put downs was also something i was doing more and more of, and after i was working in a toxic job i would repeartedly stand up or speak up against the bullshit , but i remember the feeling of victory i felt when i walked out of that job , i felt self love, self commitment, and I felt that i was no longer willing to abandon my inner chid in an unhealthy way to "people please" , this was a survival response and ofcourse i wasn't happy doing it. Once i followed through with that boundary , i felt selflove like and just felt my inner child really thank me, and i walked out it was a 5 mile walk , and i just felt empowerment, and i promised my inner child i would now stick to him in a healthy way first in stead of people pleasing which as I said was a survival response, specially from living 2 years with a narc parent alone. I had recovered my connection to my inner child or true self through gentleness towards my self, healthy boundaries and integrity to him and choosing and having safe enough people in my journey. And now its been 3 years since i go to these support groups, i cotninue to be gentle myself, share and process what it was like to grow up in a fucked up family , keep those boundaries, stay in integrity to my inner child, and also love and attune to him, as my true self. Playing and having fun, going after passions and hobbies, and living with a purpose yeah for sure , recover my innerchilds dreams and know that in a healthy way i can be gentle with myself keep good boundaries integrity to my inner child , and that my needs matter and i can find healthy relationships where my needs are being met. amd javomg a few of those in. aworkeable and reciprocal fashion,. Its been non-linear my healing journey just as life is, and i have dealt with narcs as adult and keeping to the principles of my recovery shining anyway , and staying true to my inner child, continue on my healing journey and with God's help ofcourse, ive had to learn how to navigate them, and some toxicity, but taking my space anyway, and staying true to myself. And going to places for the healthy people there, knowing that there might be a couple narcs one or two but i can connect with healthy people there. Take my. space, express who i am, staying true. tome, are my values basically. To love honor and protect my inner child. And the fact that narcs exists is. afact of life, and some of them want to get better. I need. toknow how to navigate life, with agency, empowerments selflove, selfcare, healthy boundaries and integrity to my inner child, and connecting with healthy people to try and get my needs met, it has been tricky learning how to take myspace and stay true to my inner child when there are controlling people out there, but say and express what i need. tosay and shine anyway , like i did that and i stepped on some insecurities. I stayed true to myself but there where narcs who wanted to control how i shouwed up, yet i kept good bundaries and told them even the place we were in had guidelines about letting people share their truth, and break the family dont talk dont trust dont feel rules. But i choose to shine anyway, and got osafe enough places, where there aren't narcs controlling so theres authenticity good communication good connection and healthy boundaries and needs met. Keeping gentleness humor love and respect selfcompassion healthy boundaries integrity to my inner child, and findding safe enough peopl yeah thos e are some values i try to keep always because they are healthy. We keep healing . God speed everyone. working on my caffeine in the morning is something im mindful of.🙏

And that’s what I did! I took back my power back! Packed my things and never looked back! define my worth, and I also keep not one but 2 journals one is a with positive quotes and the other one is my personal one and I color! Best thing I ever done for my self was leave the person I was with!

Time, energy, attention and money.

Amazing you are describing my life as if you stay with us 😂😂😂

One of your best videos, thank you

Mine wasn't possessive, at least it didn't seem this way. Generally, he never seemed to be jealous when I wanted to spend time with someone else, including my family. He would even encourage me to go out to not sit home when he was at work in the evening, or to fly home to spend time with my family. He never seemed to mind. HOWEVER; he loved to ruin our Caribbean cruise by throwing tantrums and getting angry for I still don't know what, and, in general He'd get upset or angry at the least expected moments

Isn't this where the crocodile tears and the hoovering begins? 🤮

As always so so helpful 👌💖

My ex narcissist still hangs out with 2 women he sexually assaulted. Why would they want to hang out with him?

According to my narcissist, I dressed too sexy. It's a written statement but it was always there, yet people chose to be mind controlled by him.

Why now..after 30+yrs..yo messy coworker homewrecker sidechick! Ty.both!♡

My narcissist works in my building and takes me orders so there is no escaping her.

Nope 😂thank God i stayed away

I started timing my gf and checking mileage on car, but in my defense she was cheating and gas lighting me, I became detective, never again

Skip to at least FOUR minutes in if you want to get to content....wow.

Do they experience truma bond abused before find next supply

video starts at 4 min.

If you managed to get help. Surely this means that others have got help? I suppose it depends on the degree of the disorder?

3 minutes into the video and youre still only promoting yourself to make money

Leave the intro till the end and cut to the chase.