To learn more than ever from important non-fiction books, join me on Shortform: shortform.com/cole . You’ll get a 5-day free trial and a discounted annual subscription. One of my favorite books on Shortform is "Thanks for the Feedback".

I’ve come to realize that most people do not care unless it’s convenient to them sadly … I no longer force friendships or conversations either , it will always end badly if the feelings aren’t reciprocal. I’ve been there , done that 😐

As men, having a tribe is important, but to be comfortable with being alone is probably that best thing that can happen to you!

I needed this today, I have lost and or am losing my faith in humanity. It seems no matter how hard I try I am still rejected, morally spit on and feel absolutely isolated. Im going to finish watching the video but pray to find solace.

I feel more connected with people here than it is in real life

I'm gonna be honest. From someone who had almost committed 3 or 4 times, who has been completely addicted to alcohol for half a year, who has had lost their biological father (I'm adopted) almost lost my biological mother, been diagnosed with depression, lost all my friends etc, nothing gives me as much hope and a will to live another day than your videos do. Seriously thank you Cole.

To anyone who is worried that he no longer has friends: all your ten times best friends will disappear after 30 anyway. And the reason is simple - they will have their own life, and they no longer won't care about you much. At best, they will become your acquaintances, with whom you sometimes meet, correspond, talking on the phone. And, most likely, this will happen less and less often... Don't worry about it. Best friends are temporary, life is temporary, your job is temporary. Everything is temporary. Just deal with it and enjoy your life while you can. Cheers!

*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."* The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤

sometimes I wonder why people doesn’t even try to resolve a conflict and rather cut you off, seriously

Focus on cultivating those few high quality friends that will improve your life, but don’t rush that process. Putting yourself in the right situations to meet like minded people, online or in person, is a great way to start

Thank you Cole it's very strange how many of us can actually relate to each other but yet we are all so distant and I believe a huge part of it is the fear of rejection subconsciously and part of it could be the fear of not being liked whenever people get bored of who you are I know that's my issue for sure I've had friendships that only lasted 2 months because of the less time they gave

- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨

I have lot of childhood abuse. I want to make friends but my subconscious kicks in and my automatic response is fear and people can't be trusted everyone is an abuser

I literally have no friends of any kind whatsoever for literally all my life; even lost my faith in the future. At this point, after so many times of betrayal and hurt, nothing can restore these things in me anymore and I just keep to myself; never speaking a word to anyone that isn't my family.

Wow. Just this week I was telling myself that I'm finding it difficult finding people that genuinely care about me. And now I'm here watching this video 🤦🏾‍♂ Very relatable. This video is very fitting for me especially right now

Came at the perfect time. Been feeling like I’ve came to so many realizations lately and so many people in my life don’t get it

It is a bit sad that the self improvement wave has actually spread us in a way lowing our actual happiness which is the opposite of the overall goal emotional connection should be embraced and is apart of the human experience love this series and happy your making more 💯💪🏾

You totally hit the nail on the head when it comes to having negative assumptions. I always tell myself my voice isn't unique and doesn't need to be heard. I should just stick to myself and let others live their own lives without interrupting them. I stay in my lane and they stay in theirs. This is obviously a destructive mindset as it prevents me from opening up with others. We are literally hard-wired and evolved to be social beings. By being social with others, sharing thoughts, feelings, emotions, I open others up to do the same. It is a win-win situation when you think about it. I need to quit being so self-righteous in my head and realize no one is better nor worse than I am. We all die in the end. No reason to believe someone is better than me and vice versa. We all act in our own self interests and we all have our own values and experiences. I need to go out and explore, forget what others think about me. Some people won't get along with me and that's okay. Because like you said there's more than 1 person out there to be friends with. Be upfront,, create meaningful relationships, stop bottling up feelings and opinions. Free others from emotional pain and social neglect by putting yourself out there. We are all craving social interactions and lacking meaningful relationships thanks to social media, working 40 hour weeks at jobs we aren't passionate about, paying off student loans, having debt, social distancing due to covid, rent rising relative to average income, unclear futures, traumatic past experiences, grief, regrets, you name it. This world needs more love, forgiveness, and openness. It's no shock people are questioning whether to keep going or not, life is not so easy nowadays. I hope I can be a positive presence which allows others to feel understood and accepted. Internalizing everything is only going to lead to sadness. I can confidently say this as I can speak from years of experience and even now. Mindlessly scrolling through social media, studying alone, afraid to speak my opinions, comparing myself to others, having negative thoughts, etc. All this can be prevented through sharing and being open. It's okay to be angry - just express it and explain what hurt you. It's okay to feel suicidal - tell someone about it. It's okay to be behind in school - talk to your professor, counselor, ask for help. It's okay to question life's purpose - tell others how conflicted you feel. It's okay to feel you don't belong - express why you believe so. It's okay to feel your present situation does not reflect where you want to be in the future - tell someone your pain build a support system. All the non-physical struggles of life can be cured through sharing. And there are people out there who want to help. I need to fully understand this and believe I can be myself. I need to prove this through my actions, no matter the shame or discomfort I may feel. Nothing worth doing has ever come easy, I need to sacrifice my comfort. In return I will not only create a better future for myself, but for others as well. Thanks for the video and allowing me to self reflect a little bit.

I’m at the point where it’s hard to imagine someone having this condition worse than me…as selfish and narcissistic as that sounds. I’ve been pretty much isolated, and limited to just my family for companionship for nearly 4 years now. Covid was just 1 more year added to the pile. (And some considered 1 year exhausting) It gets to the point where any positive lessons learned begin to fade into the background, consumed by the loneliness. With no hope, it begins to effect every part of daily life. Idk if there’s a point to all of this, but I honestly hope anyone out there can be comforted knowing we who don’t deserve this treatment in the world still survive. It’s the only option, as suicide has become wayyy too easy of a way out. I’ll pray for anyone feeling the same

*“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending...”* *―C. S. Lewis*

I recently went threw a breakup, and i've been experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of this chapter in my life. You and your videos are helping out a lot. Keep up the good work! Thanks! Sending Love from Portugal ❤️.

I learned this way of thinking from working at a grocery store for two years. Love you Cole, your videos always come out in the best timing

It’s easy to have a bad day and forget about what other people have to offer, I do my best to set myself up for a good day and decide to look for the good in people and experience positive experiences as much as I can ✨

sometimes i wish i grew up in the 70s instead. It's ironic that it's so difficult for me to navigate through life and build true connections in the internet age.

This is exactly why I'm planning on moving to LA. I know there are lots of rough sides to the city, but as a film maker/ actor at heart, I know it's where I need to go. As I've changed drastically over the past few years, I really do feel like I don't fit in with my social circles, and I don't feel like I have any deep connections irl. While I save up however, the internet will have to do. Thank you for building this incredible community Cole, looking forward to all your upcoming videos. 💙

I talk about this concept a lot too throughout many of my videos. You encapsulated it perfectly in this video 💙

You hit the nail on the head with this one, I really needed this. Thank you

Man I'm so glad that i've found your channel. For a long time i've been thinking that I'm having just social anxiety (which i really have though) and i can't just handle social situations anymore, but i actually just realized how self centered my struggle to connect with anyone is because i'm afraid they don't like me or that i just embarres myself. I'm sure i'm still going to struggle with it, but i think i just got important lesson and another point of view about myself and my problems and now try to listen others geniunly more instead of focusing do i look like prick. Who cares? Lol. Thanks dude 👌 can't wait for part 2 !

Let me tell you a story. I've been a big drug dealer. I had friends that stood there for me, I had 2 girls living in my small apartment that loved me. Until I decided f*ck that and moved city, left my friends and tried to presume a career in Cybersecurity. And I'm very honest when I say I miss my life of crime because I had real connections. Now I have nobody.

for anyone who has run out of friends and is depressed about it I want to give you some advice, try to fix things, if you fail at least you will have tried, release the blame and do not close to the world, at parties, parks, anywhere is the perfect opportunity to meet new people, people who will bring you momentary happiness but also could offer you a more complete friendship and where you understand each other better, but loneliness is also good, just don't get carried away by negativity, In solitude you can do something for yourself something that is interesting for you but that may also for other people, so do not be discouraged maybe after a while alone you can go out into the world and be the random guy who plays basketball like a pro or whatever else, that is already on you.

Thanks for making videos that literally describe my thoughts, I love it

Thanks Cole this was very helpful, going through a divorce I have realized how much X suppress external friendship with her toxic ways. Last six months I have rekindle old relationship and started many new ones. Making new friend is easy, just be open and yourself, don't try using someone else's personality. I have always got reacquainted with myself learning how much of me I sacrificed meaning to help X. I wasnt making X happy, not realizing I couldn't help some who didn't want help. Cole keep making videos and ignore the negative comments.

This video makes me want to reflect on my life and figure out the people I should stick with and those I should get rid off!

I can not tell you how much I needed this video today

Cole thanks so much for all these helpful tips and information. They always come at the right time, I appreciate what you do and it gives me a sense of comfort knowing others deal with my issues

Thanks for this video😊 lately I’ve been finding it really hard to connect with others, especially my old friends who I’ve started to realize their true intentions. Ever since I’ve begun having my spirtual awakening and the recent passing of my brother, the things that used to matter to me just don’t matter anymore. I don’t want to have small talk. I don’t care about what you do for a living. I just want to talk about things and do things that actually matter- like question why we’re here or what happens when we die. The truth about the universe and how to reach our full potential. Those are the things I care about now and it seems like it’s rare to find other people who care too. However I’ve also been more open lately like you said and have been surprised to find that there are more people out there like me than I thought! Here’s to finding my people❤️

Thank you for making and posting this video. I needed to see this

Wow, this is happening to me right now! Thanks for sharing this video 🙌

Wow dude. Such real content. Thank you.

I’m going through this right now! Tough as hell to see people you have known for years in a different light. The loneliness is overwhelming sometimes but knowing I’m going to Come out better makes it worth it.

this was so genuine, thank you so much

The Self Improvement journey can definitely get lonely, but I've realized the type of people I was able to attract since being on it has been way more fruitful than even some people who have known me my whole life. The resistance you feel towards leaving people you've known forever is natural but never let it limit you. Your better self can ultimately serve the world and your loved ones better than staying the same for the sake of not being alone for a bit.

Out of all your videos, this is the one I needed the most. It coincides with my current existence/reality. Law of attraction is real, and my negativity due to personal struggles and consuming of different media is affecting my daily life. But when I shift my mindset and look at things on a brighter side, everything and everyone around me seems a little bit better and/or welcoming. When I’m negative, the energy around me becomes reflective. Some old man at the gym walked past me and said, “you’re not having a good day are you?” I never talked to that dude in my life. That shit changed me for real. I think the lack of social stimulation since moving to a new city has been really getting to me, not to mention the craziness of the world right now. I just turned 25, have a shitload of ambition, but not sure where to start aiming it. The lack of a strong, motivating social circle has been my excuse, but these Cole Hastings videos genuinely help me out. I don’t know why I’m venting in this comment section right now, but this video was much needed man. Appreciate it.

I truly appreciate you videos Cole you're truly an inspiration ❤

Thank you, I can see this is what has happened. I went through some big changes and I'm glad for them but not having close friends is hard and you are right that they fell out of my life as I begun to fix my life.

I needed this one. Thanks king 👑

I needed this!!! Thank you for all you do, it’s much appreciated.❤️

Cole speaks so well that I can relate to the most of his videos

Editing and content game on 💯!!!!

Away from the content: your videos are simply masterpieces even in post-production - these editing skills are remarkable

Love this brother, thank you 😊🙏🏽🙏🏽

Nah man, naaaaah, I just can't believe it! This video was uploaded right when I needed it, like it's a frickin scary timing. The exact, exact topic I needed advice on. Thank you for this video man, it literally made my day way better! Although I'm at one of my lowest point, thank you!!

I’ve been trying to improve my social skills, I think in 2018 I was killing it when it comes to making friends, then I moved and started fearing judgment so I stopped interacting, then it got worse during quarantine and now I can’t talk at all (not on social media besides KZfaq), it’s funny because when I fantasize about becoming confident and talking to people, I’m able to come up witty stuff but just can’t do it in real life I also feel like my performance sky rockets when I’m in a classroom with people that I’m close with. But now I have no friends, meditation has helped become more positive and be less insecure but all of it disappears when I engage in a conversation

Cole is a mind reader, how do you know that im going through this hahaha. I've gone through lots of self improvement, growth in life, indulging in mental health content, self improvement, being in grad school now, and I was feeling like I was outgrowing some of my old middle and high school friends who love partying, getting high etc and I can relate to it anymore. I've been too myself lots!

I'm not an introvert, thought I was but I just hid my true self. I don't anymore. I see fakes everywhere since I became aware and any act of kindness is taken for granted. That's not an over exaggeration, the more authentic I am the more people stay away or try to manipulate me. It's never authentic in return. I've just booked the cinema for myself on Friday as I think it's best to live my life as my own best friend. I go everywhere myself. I fit in anywhere yet I don't. If I'm fake I can fit in anywhere but choosing to be me I don't fit in at all

Definitely needed this video after the last oneee!!

Man your video content exactly comes when I am struggling with a decision man thanks my mentor 😃🥰

Man, I was literally just thinking today that I need to stop being so negative and judgmental towards others. I was about to search for some guidance and this video popped up. Helped a bunch. Thank-you.

i try really hard but i feel like others are always taking advantage of me and use me as a tool for their own ego i don’t get back what i give

Amazing man! Completly changed my perspective.

i needed this

You are at your most powerful when you are happy with others and alone. Best of both worlds :)

Everything i needed to hear 💯💯. So difficult for me to trust others or even reach out so def taking ur advice seems legit

dammn cole out here grinding his ass off, props for you bro ! keep it up !

you just explained everything in one video. thank you

I got bullied in school and because of that my mindset is destroyed, I think everyone are evil. I will try this and watch part 2. Big thanks!

Wow you read my mind 👏 I’ve honestly been thinking about this lately

Thank you cole, for pinpointing this problem♥️♥️♥️

Thank you so much cole!

Love your channel man Thanks for the inspiration

Thank you I really needed to watch this

i love how you edit your videos... i'm always learning from you.

Cole with another banger oncer again, this is the perfect video for me back in Spring Break earlier this year in March I've seen people just going out and having a good time and it made me feel really isolated, On top of that that one of my friends and I was talking about hanging out sometime and he said he will let me know soon come to find out on that particular Friday I saw him out with other people after saying he'll hit me up

thank you for the video !

Thank you for this!!

Great video, also love the desktop background.

Dang. You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. I thought I was the only one

you got a friend in me

"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carniege is a great read and has many relations to this video

I’m glad you brought up the social media negativity programming. I’ve noticed how it sneaks in in the last few months. I unsubbed from some KZfaqr because their content was kind of shitting on certain people or their opinion was always somewhat negative.

I wish I had a friend like you whom I could text and gain insight from.

Thank you Cole for this video. I've been feeling down lately because I'm going to college soon and I'm always thinking about friends at college, rather than my journey that I'll experience. Now, I've stopped overthinking and I don't care too much on having friends, but rather on improving myself and seeing what I can achieve.

Thank you- am working on myself 🙃

Yes!!! A hard lesson but well learned! You can't help people who don't want help. Save your energy for yourself or someone who does.

Thank you so much for this, Cole. Love you.

You know, I am open to talking to new people; but they don’t speak to me or avoid speaking to me based on my appearance due to my burn scars. They instantly assume there is something wrong with me based solely on appearance, and it sucks but I can’t control that. I try to talk to people, but after hundreds of attempts not a single one has tried to be friends with me or even had a conversation with me back…

Cole has been steppin his game up !!!🔥

i love this new Cole Hastings who privatizes healthy relationships, shows true maturity.

2:41 "you're not alone" is gaslighting me. I am alone, I have nobody to talk to and I can't be myself. When I did try to be myself I was hurt physically and mentally, and I can't find other people that I can be connected with. Online friends don't work for me and I can't find anyone that I can be friends with in person. I am alone and I can't do anything about it

Define immediate results, because i've tried this on multiple occasions over the course of years and things either dont change or just get worse.

Thank you Cole :)

Wow crazy to think earlier today I was thinking"Discoveries" today when it comes to interacting with people,and your video with that showed up!

Put God First and stand firm in these times

(Having)Friends is vastly overrated, the luckiest time in my life is the time having no friends, its simply awesome!

Thanks 👍. Really Needed This Video!. Crazy Time In My Head @ Age 34 Almost 35!!.. Leaving the Nest @ Age 36!!.. Scary, Unfamiliar but So Exciting!!.. I'm Finally Gonna Be 100% on My Own. I'm Ready!. ✌️

Relationships with others are just another brick in the wall

Underrated channel👑

U are really smart mate. Congrats on the video

Man, your videos edits grow exponentially

Great video mate