Why You're So Awkward And Never Have Anything To Say

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Күн бұрын

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Tips for having small talk and getting into deep conversation.
Watch Part 1 First: • What To Do If You Have...
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#socialanxiety #smalltalk #sociallyawkward
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Intro: 0:00
The Approach: 1:08
Extra: 3:24
Small Talk: 4:50
Getting Deep: 9:19
An Important Note: 11:22
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Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I try to help people through sharing my experiences and evolution through life.
why youre so awkward, why am i so awkward around everyone, im so awkward, how to stop being awkward, i never have anything to talk about, i never have anything to say, how to keep a conversation going, how to make small talk with a girl, conversation tips, conversation skills, i cant talk to people, social anxiety, how to stop being socially awkward, how to stop being socially anxious

Пікірлер: 824

@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын

Should I make a part 3? 👀 To start building your credit with a debit card, go to extra.app/cole

@xandiloquencebizarre 2 жыл бұрын

You should and will!

@ninjaempire9093 2 жыл бұрын

Yes

@monkeybussiness1014 2 жыл бұрын

Definently

@woodzee5360 2 жыл бұрын

Do it, just dive into it!!! ;D

@prod.MRBLOXY 2 жыл бұрын

Yes! It's so helpful!

@wander9499 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly, my awkward/ shy/ nervous/ anxiety self is ruining my own life… it’s sad and when I think about it more it just makes it worse.

@muddycatfish5396 2 жыл бұрын

Eric, man, that's my brother's name. It's great that you have found this youtube channel because there are so many of us here that think alike. I wonder if it really is ruining your life or if that's a skewed perception you have developed over the years through life experience. There's this quote from Marilyn Monroe that always makes me question the true nature of my socially awkward/anxious self. "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

@internetguy5644 Жыл бұрын

88 likes

@chirst5874 Жыл бұрын

@@muddycatfish5396 Thanks man

@AnalyticalWanderer Жыл бұрын

You should think about it.

@m.m.574 Жыл бұрын

Same. Everything is much harder for me to accomplish. Because being social helps all areas in life. And I get more and more into my own little shell

@marioncarbonell6047 2 жыл бұрын

I've always felt like one-on-one conversations end up being more profound because you actually get to know the person more in depth.

@zacharyyan4898 Жыл бұрын

Being part of a group where you play a small role can also be profound

@LifeisaBeautifulting Жыл бұрын

@@zacharyyan4898 Very rarely

@bighatastrea Жыл бұрын

Yeah, being alone with someone is always nicer imo especially when you're not a dominant personality. I hate nothing more than these days where a kinda nice person you barely know invites you and all his best buddies he knows for 100 years already are there and they talk nonstop while you already forgot their names lol

@fortnitepenisvirgin2992 10 ай бұрын

Ye I’ve always felt like that to, either that or they’re just awkward asl cuz I got nothing to say

@ashleykathryn9038 2 жыл бұрын

I can start conversations pretty easily, my problem is leaving the small talk. I get stressed trying to find a topic to branch off to. I keep trying though! It's definitely a skill that has to be built

@KNG-pc5qd Жыл бұрын

same

@Gforce10000 Жыл бұрын

@@lonewanderer_n7 fr

@just_a_username8979 Жыл бұрын

Likewise I can start them easily enough. I just cant continue them to save my life, it branches off Into sports or gossip about someone else's life which just doesn't interest me. It's easier for me to end a conversation than to continue one

@mustashfan1o198 Жыл бұрын

This hits so hard. Like, HOW!!??? How do people put the words together to form sentence upon sentence? Thinking of a topic is easy enough but then you have to form words about it; you know what I'm saying?

@rjapz0124 Жыл бұрын

@@mustashfan1o198 I know exactly what you're saying, I feel the same way every day, how do people constantly talk and talk nonstop and always have something interesting or funny to say. They make look and sound so easy, but a hard struggle for me.

@DemetriPanici 2 жыл бұрын

*“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.” - Marcus Aurelius*

@SyreLikeAFire 2 жыл бұрын

dude come onnn

@nani8701 2 жыл бұрын

So you comment same stuff on every video without even watching them just to gain subs? You are weird

@Jmf-jh8kj 2 жыл бұрын

OMG so inspirational

@tyranmcgrath6871 2 жыл бұрын

@@SyreLikeAFire I saw this comment on CPT Sinbad's video I watched 5 minutes ago

@SyreLikeAFire 2 жыл бұрын

@@tyranmcgrath6871 a plague the quotes become even less awe-inspiring the more he comments them

@michaelfeddema8502 2 жыл бұрын

All you have to do is really genuinely care about every word the other person is saying. Focussing on their words and the meaning behind those words will keep you out of your own head. Never think about what you are going to say and never hesitate with saying what comes to mind. Everyone has the natural ability to converse together, really care about the other person when you are talking with them

@rexmckenna6633 Жыл бұрын

woooow thank you

@Westside444 Жыл бұрын

That’s a terrible advice

@Anangelfromabove Жыл бұрын

Great thank you

@HowCouldYouu Жыл бұрын

i ain't doing allat

@Caffeinated0 6 ай бұрын

the real question now is, how to approach and actually start the conversation?🤔

@germangdll9660 2 жыл бұрын

Someone recently gave me the same advice and they phrased it in a way I found really powerful: letting fear 'wash over you'. accept that there is no immediate way to rid yourself of that fear other than to experience it BUT by letting go of resistance towards that fear you discover some new kind of resilience within yourself.

@hahathatisfunnybro Жыл бұрын

The more resistance you have about doing something, the more you know deep down that you need to do it.

@grahamholbrook9112 Жыл бұрын

but like, how the hell are you supposed to do that?

@hahathatisfunnybro Жыл бұрын

@@grahamholbrook9112 just except the fear you feel, and realize that the only way do not feel the fear anymore is to pursue it. By avoiding it you only prolong it until the next time the situation arises and you do it again. You aren’t escaping the fear by avoiding it, you’re letting it rule you. Plus you usually regret letting the fear keep you from moving forward, but once the opportunity arises and you feel that fear, you just avoid it again. Once you face the fear you realize how it wasn’t even as bad as you feared it would be.

@germangdll9660 Жыл бұрын

@@grahamholbrook9112 for me, part of it was realizing that just like any other emotion fear is a tool. A tool for survival and social adaptation. What this fear is trying to do is protect me. Rather than rage at it and hate it, I treat it in my mind as a well-meaning friend. "Thank you, but this is not what I need right now". Do the thing anyway; it's still going to be scary, but let go of this hate that you have towards the feeling.

@BrunoRibeiroComboios 2 жыл бұрын

I can totally relate to what you said in this video. I’m always anxious about social interactions because I feel that nothing on my life is really interesting to other people. As a result, what usually happens is others sharing a lot and I don’t share that much. I remember that my friends in school saying “Your are always quiet, you dont say anything. Say something” but I honestly did not know what to say. I was able to improve since then, but I still struggle with social interactions now with 23 years-old. I try to focus on the other person and ask questions about them, but eventually I ran out of things to ask and I dont want it to feel like an interrogation. But your content has been helping a lot, I wish I found your channel earlier. Thanks a lot!

@bighandsome9165 2 жыл бұрын

Same man, have had people tell me after knowing me for a few months "I don't even know anything about you." Just left me wondering why they were even spending time with me to be honest.

@PeteFarce 2 жыл бұрын

I am 36 still have it. Did shrooms went bad smoked joints lead too d realisation failed in career. Now i am doing what i can but like my neighbours look the othervway when inwalk by. I feel like im not good enough

@frankqueno5852 2 жыл бұрын

@@PeteFarce Dude that so infurating I would love to share some shrooms or a joint and chat about life without the need to show off :/

@insolentchild6989 2 жыл бұрын

Bro just chill out and stop stressing about the little things in life. Don't worry what people think or say about it and keep improving yourself

@misstigerbubbles 2 жыл бұрын

@@bighandsome9165 because unfortunately you give them attention and time and they forget to ask about you... Then you relaise you know everything about them because you bothered to ask and they never did

@kimaya.3563 Жыл бұрын

i got small talk going, but my conversations never get deeper, im like that person in class who everyone talks to, but nobody hangs out with because I have nothing interesting to say

@helloworld2054 10 күн бұрын

Same here lol

@alexzandra-fallonallen317 10 сағат бұрын

So relatable

@mario125ww 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Cole!!!!! Seriously thank you. I'm 23 and been struggling with this for a while and felt like giving up with relationship. On top of that, I never knew how to explain this to others so some people thought I was faking and just hated others. Now I feel empowered to give it another go. I'm showing this video to my parents and relatives so they get what I'm been trying to convey.

@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын

Glad I could help!

@airflare7285 2 жыл бұрын

this is so me right now.

@BladeMK 2 жыл бұрын

How are you doing now?

@mario125ww 2 жыл бұрын

@@BladeMK I'm doing better. I still struggle connecting with people but I'm make tangible progress. I have friends now and it is all about fostering them to make them stronger. Also I am more confident to start conversation than a month ago.

@noname75737 2 жыл бұрын

@@mario125ww That's really cool, good on you

@ELP1125 Жыл бұрын

My thing is at work. Ppl CONTINOUSLY ask me what I'm doing on the weekends, and I always feel like my weekends plans are never are interesting as theirs. And it's the constant comparison that makes my social anxiety worst

@kertkoljada1891 2 жыл бұрын

I'm actually very confident and happy about myself when I imagine the conversation, but right when I begin to talk, I stutter and fail

@keyk540 2 жыл бұрын

Don't imagine let it happen

@Drummer8nimation Жыл бұрын

I relate

@BigJuice69 Жыл бұрын

@@HouseTre007 And here I thought I was going crazy talking to myself all the time

@etwanican_7439 Жыл бұрын

me when I’m trying to hit on a hot woman. It’s always pretty embarrassing 😂. Just can’t overthink about what you think you should say. Just go with it

@bobmalooga335 Жыл бұрын

I'm 40 and I still have this problem. Please fix yourself before you get old like me

@bram2742 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been diagnosed with Autism and try to communicate better (people w/ autism are often socially more awkward) but still the things you say really could be helpful! Thank u Cole🙏🏻

@joress 2 жыл бұрын

Aspie pal right here. You’re not alone. Hope you’re doing great, king 💪🏻

@soaringsquid0.129 Жыл бұрын

Same bro

@skrttskrtt7534 Жыл бұрын

I'm still glad im not alone for this...I wish if I could reach out and make friends with you all

@Antonio18677 Жыл бұрын

same incredibly hard but i am an attractive person i would say but they think i am crazy or weird because i cannot talk properly

@Blanch590 Жыл бұрын

It’s difficult but I really want to learn and be more outgoing and confident.

@sarahbarnett5134 2 жыл бұрын

This guy knows how it feels to be carrying old trauma around. It fucking sucks and you isolate yourself out of fear of rejection and negative things happening again. Thank you for this video, you helped me a lot.

@del_fino 2 жыл бұрын

how you handle rejection will reveal aspects of your character. turn that L into a learned lesson. keep improving homies! 🤙🏼

@tos9395 2 жыл бұрын

Cole, i gotta say out of all the advice channels out there your content is the most consistent, relatable, effective, and digestible that I’ve seen. Keep up the great work

@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын

Really appreciate that, thank you

@marcusson1983 2 жыл бұрын

Well said

@xpertaab7261 Жыл бұрын

Even when I actually want to talk to someone and feel comfortable, I still don't know what to say. Mind is completely blank

@RouillierDisguised Жыл бұрын

I can relate! It’s been torture

@Vro_xppy 24 күн бұрын

Any difference now?

@xpertaab7261 23 күн бұрын

@@Vro_xppy nope

@MrRocksW 2 жыл бұрын

I am 29 now, when I was 18-24 I used to be extremely shy. Tbh it is a cliche but I did grow out of it. It was not pleasant at the time and I am sympathetic to people going through it.

@pinkz32 Жыл бұрын

As a 22 yr old I'm sick of being ''shy'' bc its just a form of fear of rejection.

@edwardreal7314 Жыл бұрын

I'm 29 and still going through it, but not as bad as it once was. As long as you're just being yourself there's really nothing bad about it

@just_a_username8979 Жыл бұрын

28, I can be loud or I can be very quiet. Very good at listening but not so much at talking. Or I can be very talkative and not know the meaning of stfu, it depends on the conversation. When it comes to social events or the like I just don't care. When it comes to technology or the like depending on what it is I could be very into it. Gossip or the like doesn't interest me

@praneeldeb2087 7 ай бұрын

I’m 23 and I HATE people that overtalk, especially while working on group projects, these kinda people have little to no knowledge but since they are EXTREMELY TALKATIVE they somehow take the upper hand and just snatch your credit away from you for the work that YOU did since you cannot talk that much…arrgh the only time I can speak somewhat is when I’m very high, but you gotta understand that I cannot stay high 24/7 as that will deteriorate my health…I soo wish to just put a yellow tape on their lips or in simple words just hope that they don’t come 10ft close to me

@slasher298 Жыл бұрын

I think I've gotten fired from like 10 jobs this year because of my awkwardness. Which is now turning into anxiety because I can barely afford rent despite being the hardest worker at many places. I'm hoping this video helps. Thanks again Cole.

@magnus5747 Жыл бұрын

What a stupid reason to fire you! If you just communicate good about work it should be fine, but everyone these days want a open speaking person that talks about anything and that mentality is just wrong imo.

@nineinchthread Жыл бұрын

@@magnus5747 can you explain more about what you mean

@Psycho_Logical_631 8 ай бұрын

That definitely isn't believable that you got fired from 10 jobs In a year cause you are awkward....I'm awkward af in every job i ever had, and for some reason people love me for it lol probably because I'm different than all the other sheeple at work

@lavenderiris9744 7 ай бұрын

⁠@@Psycho_Logical_631different places, different situations, different people= different outcomes. Just because you had a different experience doesn’t mean the other person is lying.

@jitendrac1107 5 ай бұрын

I can relate to that... Ppl start talking very formally, sometimes even cracking a light joke or two... But many times, almost always, "someone" enters the "scene" to disturb things . Prodding me with questions that make me feel awkward, answer-less and leaving me with a feeling of constant vulnerability that lingers on... And i end up acting awkward ..... Until i feel that i can't take it anymore... Despite my liking for the job, financial situation, the unpaid debts and upcoming expenses, i QUIT

@valerianotval9154 Жыл бұрын

My loophole for getting over awkwardness was viewing the inability to tolerate it as weakness. I’ve always hated weakness, and never wanted to be perceived as weak. As such, it was a point of pride for me to be able to tolerate awkwardness longer than anyone else, even if no one else thought of it that way. Of course, if you don’t mind being weak this doesn’t really help you…😬

@arturoestrada6803 10 ай бұрын

very interesting

@isaiahkipp5509 2 жыл бұрын

Bro I had an Epiphany when you said “embrace the awkwardness”. I couldn’t figure out why I could never shake the awkwardness until I started doing this. You deserve more followers 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

@RealandTrue 2 жыл бұрын

Another really helpful video! Being introverted I can often overthink certain things that you mentioned but I really want to get better at it so I appreciate your video! I also am a fan of Max’s as well!

@ConstantBurn Жыл бұрын

Both of these parts are strangely accurate to my situation and the fact that the negatives are so on point was strange. I didn't expect anyone else to be having the same experiences so I just want to say thank you for the motivation and understanding to improve aspects of my life.

@IsaacJoshi 2 жыл бұрын

The fact that you are watching this video means you are at least part of the way to creating a better life for yourself. All your regrets are in the past, this is your oppurtunity to make the decision to start creating for yourself the life that you want! Good luck friend!

@teodoraslozoraitis7409 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, that's very kind of you to say :) Good luck to you as well :)

@bowserjr9056 2 жыл бұрын

THANKS

@rafaelalodio5116 Жыл бұрын

Or not

@Fereyen Жыл бұрын

I just never have anything to say, no strong emotions, and people get bored of me very quickly

@alissaride117 Жыл бұрын

I feel the exact same way. I suspect I’m on the autism spectrum but many say it’s just depression so idk

@gentlemanJames777 4 күн бұрын

Same here especially with women

@planetelex 2 күн бұрын

Me too… no advice for conversation works because nothing ever comes to mind

@hectorvaleriano1266 2 жыл бұрын

love you too bro. Thank you for pushing out amazing quality and consistent content. We greatly appreciate you !

@Toasty_Britches 2 жыл бұрын

This is a really good video, thanks for making it. It gave me a lot to think about and helped me realize that I'm actually pretty damn good at talking to people, and my fear is nonsensical but also fun in a way.

@jacobjamnicky 2 жыл бұрын

Great video! Finally, something I have been trying to figure out about myself summed up perfectly; you hit the nail on the head. A lot to take away from this video and to work on for my own personal improvements, thanks Cole!

@allisong.4280 2 жыл бұрын

What a fantastic video! Well edited and well-made. I have struggled with this exact thing so much due to CPTSD. Now I feel a little more motivated to get out there and try to establish friendships and re-build some old ones. Thanks Cole.

@user-ye2sw6kf7c 2 жыл бұрын

you are the only youtuber who has great insight and honesty.... and I have adhd, so I can't pay attention long time... but your videos keep me watching at the end also very fitting in my mind condition... how thanksful

@EnergonVlada 10 ай бұрын

I like how you explained the situationa through examples. Helps clearing your point out

@NicholasFrancoeur-tt7ed 2 ай бұрын

I’ve been going through this for so long and I realized that it was my fault the whole time. Don’t overthink being yourself is your best self.

@limpomwila4843 2 жыл бұрын

You know what Cole, thanks so much for the amount of effort and error you put into getting this type of information. Really helpful and really appreciate it.

@stuwargaming2176 2 жыл бұрын

This video hit too close to home thanks for this lovely timing just as I was about to go to a party as well

@marcodenekamp 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for making this, I had this with a couple of weeks ago at my new school when I met someone in my class. They are cool people and nice to me but I guess it is something I need to work on more.

@Dierdre_Barlow 9 ай бұрын

Your channel is invaluable to us with social anxiety/on the spectrum!

@amanvohra75 7 ай бұрын

I told people about your debit card and now i get no rejections. Thanks👍

@fernandogarcia3676 Жыл бұрын

Just found this video looking for a funny clip to show my friend the amount of anxiety I had for a interview I had , and just watched this entire video and it’s something I didn’t know I needed as much I did , immediately followed

@koshka5242 2 жыл бұрын

im so glad you started talking about this topic on your channel

@vastjayk6976 2 жыл бұрын

I feel like movies and social media play a big part in a lot of anxiety from teens today. In movies it seems so effortless and smooth to meet people and interact with strangers but it just isn't like that. Once I got the advice that interactions are supposed to be awkward is when I realized how normal every conversation really is. But some are more awkward than other lol

@fdr8343 2 жыл бұрын

Since going back to school after Covid, I have lost all social skills! 😭 I also have no friends and I don’t fit in! 🤐

@adryasousa8359 2 ай бұрын

you made me feel so good. It gave me hope that maybe I can do this. Little by little, of course. Thank you for the comfort.

@octane7472 2 жыл бұрын

You're a great KZfaqr, great person, and a great inspiration

@TylerX553 10 ай бұрын

This actually helped so much!! Thanks

@ceebee312 2 жыл бұрын

New subscriber here Everything you said about social anxiety is spot on for this … takes one to know

@benjaminweaver964 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much! This really helped ❤

@2gunmoya 2 жыл бұрын

You always have videos about what's been bothering my entire life. Keep up the good work

@rajas.5771 2 жыл бұрын

Not only is your content valuable, the production value is amazing!

@danielcodreanu1828 2 жыл бұрын

Daaam this advice of not thinking of what to say rather what to ask based on what the person you were talking to, was saying. Is absolutely brilliant

@jules2633 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely true, all meaningful friendships I had that happened after my childhood started of in a somewhat awkward situation, but I did not care about it.

@Pups-ln7qx 2 жыл бұрын

Dude your content is fire I’m so grateful for the amount of time energy and patience you put into these videos. Thank you 🙏.

@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын

I do my best, thank you for watching them

@AleArno9 2 жыл бұрын

The quality goes up video by video

@lilyy.503 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this video! It really shows me that if I don’t overthink things and just get out there and introduce myself and so forth, i can truly make good friends. I know how to sense the red flags in people and im rlly excited… i just moved and am about to start school again but I’ve been very nervous. Im just gonna shake off the fear and head straight into social situations and look for common interests. Wish me luck!!

@yassamy0074 Жыл бұрын

thank bro, being "weird" is one of the worst feeling ever, wish we will escape this situation.

@zizo-ve8ib Жыл бұрын

It's ridiculous how spot on your description of me was in this video, always been socially awkward due to being different but started being able to socialize more in recent years though I do have 2 main problems, not being able to remember names well (which can be awkward when approaching others😅) and not being able to keep a conversation going (since as I mentioned I don't have many common topics to use in a conversation)

@cassandradeann Жыл бұрын

Omg! This stuff is gold! Such a great use of social media! I wish this stuff was around earlier in my life. ✨

@iamboborilee Жыл бұрын

Well at least you're getting it now I think that's the important part. Here's some more tools for you to use as a conversation piece. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/kKp4atmjlbCyfpc.html

@growing.grounds4054 Жыл бұрын

What’s up cole. I’ve learned to just not take human interaction too seriously I noticed that ppl are so flawed no matter the status that ppl do not intimidate me. I’ve always loved psychology astrology metaphysics and going door to door for work for almost ten years has changed me greatly

@Bruhman14813 Жыл бұрын

I loved this video honestly thanks so much man

@NirajMandal-nr5ir 4 ай бұрын

I really needed that ❣️

@amithmundur Ай бұрын

You just made me start journaling my day to day events which i always wanted to, I don't know how fruitful this will be, but am sure it will worth it

@lagirl4648 2 жыл бұрын

Great series! I need to lean into the awkwardness!

@theking8347 Жыл бұрын

Not having anything to say doesn't mean I'm awkward. It just means I don't have anything to say at the moment. I can talk just fine.

@Yourwallisdirty 11 ай бұрын

The upsetting thing is that sometimes i think its a peaceful silence but the person next to me thinks its awkward.

@ibax013 3 ай бұрын

True. Why do ppl keep conversation going? Should always be there smth to talk?

@rio1408 Жыл бұрын

These vids are great keep it up seriously good stuff

@thepolymathmafia. Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this tips ❤💯

@alexong2542 2 жыл бұрын

I contemplated about this before. And I did some self reflecting on two different scenarios. The first scenario is me on a date with any stranger of the opposite sex. The second scenario is me alone with my best buddy. In the first scenario, I have a harder time coming up with topics,whereas it's easier in the second scenario with my best bud. I realize the difference lies in your comfortability. The more comfortable you are, topics just spring out effortlessly.

@AleArno9 2 жыл бұрын

Cole you’re amazing! The quality is incredible, hopefully one day we’ll collaborate!

@michele8760 2 жыл бұрын

what a incredible channel!! watching from 🇧🇷

@jamescoogan3105 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you man seriously thank you you're a legend 👍

@JAHIDxJD 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for these socialising videos. Just quit my job and pondering whether I've made some mistakes talking and approaching coworkers

@countryboy9755 2 жыл бұрын

Yesssss part 3!!! 👍👍👍❤️🤩

@Ranee123 2 жыл бұрын

you gave me so much advices it really helped me thank you.

@mclr9941 2 жыл бұрын

As an extrovert who is slowly entering another introvert phase I honestly love putting myself in this situation again so I can still solidify my speech.

@deeptangshusarkar3450 Жыл бұрын

I'm glad I came across your channel.

@47-00 2 жыл бұрын

Just know you have something to give. Be willing to give a piece of yourself in social conversations, it will open you up so much more. Never wait to receive!

@littlikewhitt 5 ай бұрын

thanks for this video cole I’m going to my dads side of the family for xmas tomorrow & haven’t seen them in years & don’t really have much going on in my life rn this makes me feel a lot better even tho i might not have much to say myself i’m gonna get over that & just try being outgoing & not awkward

@painuchiha2694 2 жыл бұрын

The trick to get rid of social anxiety is to not give a fuck what others think but mostly to never take rejection personally There’s a million reasons why strangers don’t want to speak to us and it’s mostly out of our control. Talk about whatever you want,tho begin with small easy talk then gradually talk about deeper stuff once u get comfortable. Sometimes strangers don’t have time,they might have their own issues or bad days and millions of other possible issues so I never really take rejection personally unless I said something bad It’s not just about us and that’s how I came to understand there’s nothing to fear and to stop overthinking if I’m boring this or whatever Not to say we shouldn’t improve our social Improving charm and kindness helps a lot

@RRcontroldawhip 2 жыл бұрын

The thing is getting your mind to believe you don’t gaf

@EliteNoLimit Жыл бұрын

@𝙰𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚖𝚒 Absolutely everything you said is the exact same for me, especially the fear of being Ignored. Swear it's like I wrote this comment myself. But seriously, when I was a child my social skills were perfect and I had absolute confidence in it, and ever since I hit the teens, not so much. A lot of the times when I stay quiet my mind wants to say something, but that fear keeps on seeping in. It's a proper struggle. I feel me and you are the same.

@bestsplitscreengames 2 жыл бұрын

Awesome stuff thanks!

@xCCflierx Жыл бұрын

This is a great opportunity for me to get into an awkward situation!

@alexander-ol7hn 2 жыл бұрын

i love you dude thank you for this video

@somber087 Жыл бұрын

I know youre suppose to feel more comfortable with the people who know you, but for me thats not the case. I feel more expressive and less anti social when Im with strangers or people who dont know me because they dont know my negative traits or my dark past etc

@zebo6162 Жыл бұрын

Hey man, I can somewhat relate with your struggle. Something that’s helped me is working through why I have (and believe I have) these negative traits through meditation and journaling. I found that changing your self-perception does wonders in how others perceive you through improving your nonverbal communication; they say words are only 10% of communication, and I’m certain nobody can completely control the other 90% of tone, posture, etc. In the end I believe a lot of self-improvement is a mental game. Best of luck!

@wpxxfighting3837 Жыл бұрын

this is exactly me

@Westside444 Жыл бұрын

Me too

@markuruymagov3203 2 жыл бұрын

Daaamn i love the Guts tattoo! :D Great content btw, very authentic.

@soyboy5628 2 жыл бұрын

Incredible that you legit went to the party talked to your ex’s boyfriend. I’m sure you felt some mix of resentment and jealousy and such, but you clearly grew past that and embraced the situation as it was, thinking and acting positively despite all.

@bartdegryse9345 2 жыл бұрын

long story short, it's a kinda mess from how things progressed with my ex, but i know her ex "after me" good, it's actually someone we knew from going out etc, but the dude experienced worse in 4months with her then me with 3 year's almost back then xD. seeing now, my ex is = she belongs to the streets material.

@kazkikongokiller6447 2 жыл бұрын

Lol why in fucks sake would you go to anything with your ex

@Doeboh 11 ай бұрын

See that's what I thought. I'm glad I wasn't the only one. Usually you'd just stay away from places you know your ex is gonna be or at least not associate with them in any social environment.

@islixxn 8 ай бұрын

so childish@@kazkikongokiller6447

@abdouaboud7490 8 ай бұрын

How he didn't get diarrhea from all that stress tho

@olamide2009 11 ай бұрын

That intro was awesome and the overall video was so f*cking helpful

@juliachiazokanwanya6922 2 жыл бұрын

Seriously your content always speak to me

@reifenrir 2 жыл бұрын

bro u're just so amazing i like the way you think a lot :)

@kongspeaks4778 2 жыл бұрын

This is one of the few self improvement channels that actually promotes honesty and self reflection, rather than chest thumping and 'being a man'

@AshleyZecchilli 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing, this helps me. :-)

@francescos7361 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Cole you are a beast !

@desconozido9000 2 жыл бұрын

Appreciate you very much cole pls keep pumping out the 🔥 content

@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@user-pb6wk3lw2y 5 ай бұрын

People are too judge mental nowadays that’s why I’m so anxious. They always hate when ugly/people who think the same talk to them

@metalmaniac6896 5 ай бұрын

You gotta force yourself. As an awkward person Its becoming more natural each day. Its painfull beacuse at first you fail miserably and feel terrible. But dont worry you'll find the right people who like you

@yumtaco7376 9 ай бұрын

By watching this video I realized what I had wrong. I am too stuck at the “small talk” stage, and haven’t thought about the “getting deep” stage. Idk why but I haven’t given it enough attention….. that’s why I have so many problems with connecting. I am very good at initiating conversations, but my real problem is definitely with the deep talk, because I seem to not get any luck with knowing someone even better, although we continue to keep a consistent mutual connection….

@kianarosablau Жыл бұрын

you are right with the awkwardness! thx

@RealJamieBarclay 2 жыл бұрын

The trick to never running out of things to say: You actually always have something to say, you just convince yourself it's uninteresting. Just let whatever is on your mind come out, and the other person will probably find it more interesting than you think.

@daniilromanenko3677 2 жыл бұрын

but what if they don't? if I approached someone to talk to them about something that they're clearly not interested in (whether they're pretending to be interested or not), I'd cringe about it for years

@miguelvidalmartinez9456 2 жыл бұрын

Me: "Did you know that Garavito is a colombian serial killer who killed over 200 children and maybe he will be released from prison for good behavior in 2023? ... Oh, you gotta go?"

@NelsonVanDweller 2 жыл бұрын

I do that sometimes and people find it weird and out of context. They dunno how to respond

@RealJamieBarclay 2 жыл бұрын

@@daniilromanenko3677 Or you can choose to not find it cringey. If you do that to enough people, eventually you'll find people who you can connect with on such a deep level it will literally blow your mind. Just my opinion.

@daniilromanenko3677 2 жыл бұрын

@@RealJamieBarclay alright, i'll try that. thanks for the advice

@xrazerzx470 2 жыл бұрын

Your Videos are always such a great pleasure!

@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@masterklm7216 2 жыл бұрын

Finally cole got new clips of public approaches, I was getting tied of him just spamming the same ones over and over . :)

@AdADglgmutShevanel 2 жыл бұрын

I'm the kind of person who needs to be talked to first. And after that I can actually keep a conversation going. Especially if they keep responding. But I definitely want to become a conversation starter

@bochra7109 11 ай бұрын

I think people are being awkward because they feel like they supposed to do something about a certain situation so they feel anxious all the time questioning their behavior and their speaking . for ex : someone in a party will be like " now i sould dance , but wait i dont look good , now i will sit , now they are staring at me maybe i should stand ...etc so they are drowned by their inner voices . JUST DO YOU , AND DONT STRESS ABOUT IT .IF U WANNA STAY SILENT STAY SILENT COMFORTABLY DONT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT , ALSO SURROUND URSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVES U AND ACCEPT YOUR AWKWARDNESS AND PUSHES U TO OVERCOME IT .

@dantepepper 2 жыл бұрын

what is worse than the slight awkwardness is the regret you will have for not taking that slight risk don't be afraid to speak us we are all human which means everyone yes EVERYONE has something in common with you through convo you can find that commondarity !

@keltonjantz7090 10 ай бұрын

Well considering whoever I’m with likes to make jabs at my difficulty holding conversation for literally the entire duration of the event I’m at, no, you’re speaking for yourself when you say you regret not taking the risk.

@soulja304 2 жыл бұрын

Cole, you be putting out heat for guys trying to become high value men! 21 years old here very much relating to your content

@user-wo1mn8yg5i Жыл бұрын

There's been times when l would feel uncomfortable around others leading to awkwardness. I don't deserve to look and feel awkward. I been struggling with this issue for some time