With ya brother. It creeps up on me from time to time especially when met with failure or possible failure... I start to project and hide from the reality that its okay to fail. Our parents as well as society has built one heck of a hurdle for most of us to overcome between T.V., movies and social media. But we are here... and that's a HUGE indicator and shift in consciousness that we can be mildly proud of. We don't want to be sick because we seek healthy relationships and the ability to love in a way that may have eluded us in the past.

Same.

Coukd be you got out of that environment. You coukd be dealing with narcissistic fleas as they all it. Aka habits from being around it. It can be cured since it's habit based and not me tally disordered thee fore permanently sealed away

@@learningenglishthroughtran8540 This is wonderful. Thank you. I fully agree. I'm on the journey to just being. It seems so scary, I might even have to go to a meditation retreat to help but slowly does it.

@@nadasabbagh8753 good on you for caring for yourself, it takes huge courage to ‘just be’ in a society that shames that as laziness and failure.

@Sara Fox why do say she’s not good?

I was just thinking this….most of the ppl that need it cannot afford it…out of reach

Plenty of them around us…😅

Yes, exactly and I am one of them. It's hard because we're like Kernberg's impossible patient. And we have that deep rooted feeling that we are devious or evil because we chose to turn away from our caregivers and from life and even interpreted life as an enemy and wanting to win over it... And yet, I am a nice person....

My first vid on this channel. I've had that sentiment of another channel and I urge you to take a look if you haven't. Search Little Shaman,

@@Sixpoint7five I watch her she helped alot bringing me into the mind of a narcissist. Many other popular ones helped in their own way but little shaman really did it for me idk why. She a sorta telling me what I learned from other channels, but it's like she's giving MORE details.

so grateful

@@ThreetwoOne-wu7ye Since I made this comment, I've been watching more lectures and interviews from Kernberg, Yeomans and Nancy McWilliams. McWilliam's 'Psychoanalysis Diagnosis' book is actually really good. It makes more sense to me now that, specifically with path narcissism, that the less stable the grandiose self, the more that empathy expressed by the therapist is going to register as "pathetic" and fan the flames of internalized shame and therefore, hijack the process. Observationally, I think Dr. Diamond has a really effective and genuine air of compassion to her that I saw really benefit a borderline patient she was interviewing. Firm in her stance, but also quite humanistic. Though, that same demeanor/approach for a more severely borderline organized NPD could tank. Retrospectively, my comment was likely fueled by how I personally could never engage with another as a therapist/analyst must do during TFP/treatment with a severe PD. I give these pros a lot of credit for doing some difficult work!

​@mollyringwerm9224 I totally agree with your second comment. Like you, I was turned off by any therapy method that didn't include empathy, because those are the only ones I've been exposed to, and empathy as part of the process made sense to my situation. And then I watched Dr. Yeomans talk about neutral approach as a way to treat NPD. And I thought about my own narcissistic mother, and how she would get therapists to buy her story of victimhood, and stall therapy for YEARS. Long and short, it's possible for a therapist to inwardly feel empathy for a patient, but outwardly not agree with everything they're projecting.

I feel the same about this planet we are on. It doesn’t feel right here at all.

@@22khalil1this whirled has been hijacked and inverted.

No this IS NPD. 1:50

How the hell do you know a girl described in a 6 minute video and her psychological constitution?

Pathological narcissism is progressive, meaning it gets more intense with age. If this woman had reached 40 and not had any sort of “reality check” moment, her issues would be much more severe. A pathological narcissist at age 22 looks a whole lot different than one at 40, who looks a whole lot different than one at 70.

😭😭😭😭😭😭💢💢

🎯

I agree. Narcissists are raised by at least one parent who is one. Messing up a 1st year of college.... that's about 50% of kids today and they're not all narcs. I think this is a very limited understanding of what a narcissist truly is. It's very by-the-book of what she may identify but seems to be missing a lot of the other aspects of the true definition of narcissism. The manipulation involved, the win at all cost attitude, the triumph in breaking down people around to feel better about themselves, the mirroring, the self adoration (which is false)...., the gaslighting, the rage, none of this is mentioned. Most importantly, washing her hands of the true issues by claiming she leads a normal life.... this I don't believe for a minute if this lady was truly a narcissist. Very easy to claim success with this particular diagnosis when it's mislabeling it in the first place. I've never met a narcissist who got cured of this pathology. The toxic behavior remains and gets worse as they age, the smart ones become CEO and proliferate the abuse with more social power. They find it harder to gather the flying monkeys and to keep people near with time as healthy people will give up on trying to remain in a relationship with them. This seems too easy to be correct.

This young woman having a diagnosis for NPD is not equivalent to her being blamed for her issues. You're probably projecting due to your own experiences that have gotten you hurt.

Others gave her the diagnosis, she basically proved them wrong.

I have NPD, the self-punishment is real. We cause more damage to ourselves than you'd probably imagine.

Not all that glitters is gold.

dont live up to them and your a narc- live up to them and your a narc. have abusive parents and try to get away from them youre a narc. have abusive parents and stay with them youre a narc. have loving parents and you arent perfect? youre a narc... narc narc narc. everyone is a narc to this woman.

Thank you for your feedback. We have our reasons for doing shorter bits, but our content is never locked into one thing and we will likely be doing more varied length pieces as we evolve this channel.

​@@BorderlinerNotesi would like to see more of these too

And child abuse is most of the times generational. Wounded, traumatised and broken people trying to parent and causing wounds, trauma and brokenness in their own children. And it is important to be objective and understand that because that puts you on the road to healing as opposed to being 'stuck' in toxic resentment and blame.

@@NickyM_0 not exactly parent are broken.. i am from India, & in india the examination pattern is highly respected and shows a sign of intelligence superiority. Right from military services to administration to top cream institutions. Not much regard to talent, entrepreneur.. so some parent out of cultural pressure put up undue pressure on their kids... Leading their brain to become like this.. the physical abuse components are rare but psychological abuse is almost in every house... The competition to be on top cream so as to brag to their neighbours and family.. one of the crisis of CAPITALISM economy where human are just factory machine without any soul..

@@NickyM_0 I can agree. And based on what you wrote I would say the ",break the cycle " motto is not a good slogan to follow. Some peole should not have children. I see more mothers than fathers use their children.

Prof Vaknin describes it as PTSD and depression from abuse ( extreme attention or neglect)

@GMarieBehindTheMask I just watched the video and I'm so glad you wrote this comment because I thought about the abuse issue as well! In fact, I'm getting annoyed with the constant labelling of people who've experienced childhood trauma, including what are called narcissists nowadays. I mentioned that I don't like labels on a video by an extremely popular narcissism "expert," then she proceeded to do an angry, as well as sarcastic, video about people who don't like labels! She might've noticed comments by others and might not have even seen mine, yet it wasn't long after I posted it. I believe that it's mainly the outcome of children doing whatever they can to survive an extremely toxic environment and some go one way, then others go too far along the opposite end of the spectrum, which isn't healthy either. 😢

She didn’t go into that girl’s pathology. She could have portrayed many narcissist personality traits.

There are different kinds of narcissism. I actually can relate to this story, because I had a similar experience. Having very high expectations from early childhood I met with the harsh reality of life and was feeling like a total failure at one point of my life. It took me a lot of work to get out of that place.

But that's not narcissistic...or rather it's the parents being narcissistic and the children feeling abused

She had narc tendencies and not the disorder itself. Plus, only with this therapist she could've let her her guard (ego protection) down, which has shown that she is not a full blown narcissist as the others percieved her to be. She probably picked that attitude up from her lousy parents and was affraid of their retribution.

We don’t know enough about her story to say. However, the broader point is that there’s so much rubbish written about NPD, especially so online. The categorical approach to personality disorder (ie having a PD or not, and various different categories of PD existing) is hugely problematic and poorly validated. Where such grey areas exist in science opinion comes in. A diagnosis of PD should be restricted to the extreme ends of presentations and not bandied around just because someone is angry with their ex. The dimensional approach to PD is much more validated. There is just one PD (people with a lifelong pattern of struggling with a wide range of areas relating to self-concept, managing emotions, behaviours and interpersonal relationships etc), not lots of different types. There are, however, various presentations of the underlying problem of PD depending how highly one scores on the five abnormal personality dimensions, which vary slightly between the US DSM-5 AMPD model and the European ICD-11 approach but are essentially the same. True NPD is rare (0.5% prevalence) and the DSM-5 committee strongly considered abandoning it. The ICD-11 committee got it right and ditched it altogether, and subsumed NPD under certain traits within the dissociality (ie antisocial PD) dimension. NPD should be reserved for type 1 grandiose narcissism. Everything else is just people using the narcissistic defence to varying degrees to compensate for low self esteem, which may be situational to time, place and interpersonal dynamics (eg it might come out in one relationship but not another). There’s such a wide spread of and cross-correlation between the manifestations of the human mind and behaviour. So by taking a categorial cookie cutter approach to this subject matter and landing it on narcissism it’s going to cut out a piece of the intersecting Venn diagram of dough with traits as wide ranging as low self esteem, codependency, substance use, a proneness to fantasy etc being present such that it renders the process close to meaningless. Look up the ‘symptoms’ of love addiction, codependency and anxious-preoccupied attachment style online for example. Most symptoms will overlap, some will differ, but all are essentially manifestations of the same underlying phenomenon, ie an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. However, given the variance in human formative experiences and later adult behaviours, when a categorical approach is applied to this peoples’ presentations will ‘look’ different: some presenting with codependency, others with love addiction, others with compensatory perfectionism, others with angry rumination etc. Same underlying issue, different presentations. Then you get researchers and clinicians living like ants on a large piece of slightly curved paper, thinking that from their narrow lens view their world is flat, whereas it’s actually not. Such professionals who use the categorical approach to PD and rely on overly complex irrefutable psychodynamic theories of NPD are such ants, and their views are distorted by their personal biases prior to doing the research/assessing the client and confirmation bias afterwards, thus perpetuating their belief that NPD exists in a wide range of people who don’t actually have it.

Some parents are not meant to be parents fkn irresponsible. Anyways how do you discard a need youre born with? That seems hard to do

@@yorti006 you outgrow the pathological level of it, you become a real adult

Wow I TOTALLY agree with you...that is well said. I did not at all agree with this statement and it made me wonder about this therapist. She seems to understand the theory very well but she somehow sees the victims of narcissism for themselves. She is very wrong in her analogy imo. It could be she is talking about covert narcissism but she should have elaborated about that.

She wasn't calling you out, just talking about her clinical experience. If you feel called out though…

@@alarageref2481 narcissism is overdiagnosed

What she means is that they haven't developed the skills to handle those challenges, which may lead them to avoid anything that may result in failure. It doesn't mean give up. It means learn the skills in order to better face those challenges. Improve yourself.

Yep! She was clearly annoyed....not very professional

I took it as the interviewer asked a great question and Dr. Diamond was like, “interesting enough, this persons had already been evaluated…” and it was like she was saying, “It’s good that you asked that question because…”

You shouldn't think you know what another is thinking. That's quite narcissistic. There can be 150 reasons why she turned her head. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I am starting to get the feeling that psychologists don't really know exactly what pathological narcissism is (the definition seems to be awfully fluid), and that NPD/BPD are labels that effectively pathologise the victims of trauma. And that's before the popular notion of narcissism is considered which looks rather like a modern-day version of the witch-hunt...

You're far from being an idiot. You sound to me like a highly sensitive, self aware individual who doesn't want to hurt people unwittingly. I've known many a narcissist in the past and believe me, that's not you at all. Just stay healthy, look after yourself and others best as you can - you'll be all good. Blessup

@@heyoungworld dude you made me cry. Thanks

@@snas1686 you're welcome, I wasn't going to pass by your comment without letting you know it was understood and respected. Stay strong brother

@@heyoungworld thanks a lot bud. You too ✊

The fact that you have self-awareness shows that you care enough to course correct. I commend you for this; keep up your introspective nature. Not one of us is perfect, as we all have room for improvement and being able to recognize that is paramount. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best! You are not alone in this.

I see this all the time people in their 60's doing work they believe their parents would approve of (my narcissist mother does this).

Magical thinking?

@@aboetarikske lmaooo

True, but female narcissists are also more likely to fly under the radar, which can make them more damaging/destructive.

Wrong they are almost worst cause they are very covert and are a extremely good actresses and when they are out to destroy they are ruthless ive unfortunately been in that situation.

Not true.

This is not an Instagram model with NPD.

Karen, says it all. Did ya hear anything she said? Seems not.

couldn't agree more

... Are you a psychologist? You have not talked to this person and you weren't her therapist. You can't really assert that she doesn't have NPD

@@thomask.98 I don't think you're understanding what we're getting at. The individual in the video is misrepresenting it objectively, not subjectively.

😂

@@ThreetwoOne-wu7ye Everything flew right over your head lol

Diamond is not the one who said the patient shouldn't go to school; actually she said the opposite. She is the reason why the patient went back to school and succeeded. Thanks for the comment in any case. Wishing you the best. -p

Couldn't agree more. It seems a bit insidious to me. She's literally normalizing it with normal feelings and emotions and only using it in a school environment. This video may in fact do more harm.

NPD is a personality disorder.

You sound uneducated and ignorant.

They are abusive people for sure. Narcissists are crazy. Totally. But if people get help for their insanity. That better.

Its not a man's jacket its a power suit jacket. Its a style which is worn by men and women.