I have overstepped my daily smile allotment... i hope nobody will report me...

@@HafdirTasare Anzeige ist raus.

Plot twist: You work in a gas chamber.

@@dys1525 Well i guess we cant expect to much from a German

😂😂😂

Russia and Germany tbh

That was also Italy untill the 1600s when France decided to give them a good dose of devastation for no reason

Let's not forget America who does it at least every decade

Every few decades? More like every few centuries. And usually it were civil wars like the one in syria.

@@SgtLenor Every 3 years

And most of there works were either goes to USA or USSR during cold war. And the fact they were the first one have an Operational Jet Plane at the late war. Imagine if it was in battlefield at the Barbarossa

The scary part is no one is paying attention to Japan once again.😅

@@Jakezillagfw all eyes on other nations that have problems, maybe japan recreate their naval battle win over russia ;)

​@@nightstorm5914it's not going to be Russia. The great dragon is no longer asleep.

hahaha damn

Well im a german Hoi4 player

@@nein236 I wish you pass your art school application.

@@nein236 same

@@GoldMoonGuy Jokes on you - I already failed mine.

Daily fascism support: +0.10

What a underrated comment 😂

Agreed

@@metal_fusion what reference?

@@deathstroke8112 before the reunification of Germany, Russian politicians asked USA to ensure nato wouldn't expand east (east Germany was technically part of rssr=Russia soviet socialist Republic) USA just said yes without any formal agreement or anything, they don't even deny it! Yet a few years after that, Poland, Baltics, Slovakia, check republic, and few other Balkan countries joined nato... Oh, don't forget Ukraine's apply for membership as well...

@@alimoz5493 Cry harder. And then get out of Ukraine. They all joined NATO because they didn't want to be in the circumstances Ukraine is in today. And neither did Ukraine but that's exactly why Russia struck in 2014 right? There are no NATO missile silos East of Germany. And until the invasion of Ukraine, there were only token "tripwire" forces East of Ukraine. Tripwire forces being "not enough to fight back effectively, but a token force that would probably get wiped out and motivate the US to actually honour their treaty. But now look. Sweden and FInland joining NATO almost fully ratified. More NATO forces near the border than ever. Great success, right comrade? Now all we have to do is wait for Russia to be defeated in Ukraine, invite them to NATO and then you can never invade them again. Ps. stop crapping your pants about the thought that we want to destroy you. We don't care about your backwards country. Biggest country in the world, 21st least densely populated. You'll be losing in economic terms until you figure out that people are more valuable than territory. Over 400,000 people left when the invasion started. Most of them either wealthy or well-educated. Another 1 million left after "partial" mobilization. Let alone the 60,000 killed or however many will be sacrificed before Russia wakes up from its imperialistic dream and goes home. This invasion already set Russia's economy back 8 years. Bet Russian propaganda doesn't tell you that huh?

Wait until the 30s

​@@16psyco wow you removed all humour from the joke

@@16psyco No worries, I'm sure there is a Sichelschnitt.. cough cough.. sorry.. I mean, I'm sure there is a plan for that..

Pretty sure Germany would only stock up on nukes if America was to pull out of NATO.

​@@gavinaccurrsedd6419there won't be much of Germany left by the 30's

Germany: Sike! I’m getting pay back against you guys as well

"Im also in the NATO council and as soon as Poland presses the Article 5 button...Iam coming for you"

Character development heh

🥺

Yea... also i waiting for Imperial Japan edit.... 😂😂

No we only settle for the holy roman empire!

@@ASSASINE0 bist du deutsch

@@ClocketteMaster na sichi

@@ASSASINE0 zurück zum Kaiserreich

@@ClocketteMaster Auch wieder mit 300 seperaten Staaten über die wir absolut keine Kontrolle haben?

Poland: never thought I would fight side by side with an German German: how about fighting side by side with an friend? Poland: nah im good

yeah japan is no joke when it comes to military, they real arm themself up to the teeth, from literally nothing. They were allies back then and i hope they still are

@@R-XI_Sulla LMAO

What repeating history? Rather a alternate history. Berlin-Moscow Axis, my favourite.

No, but it often rhymes lol

History doesn't repeat. it rhymes.

History repeats itself twice: the first time as a tragedy, the second - as a farce.

No it doesn't, but it rhymes

Late reaction, but I do find it incredible that after all this time, Germany, Japan and Italy are now on the good-guy team.

​@@MrGiselbartthis are weird times (jk)

@@MrGiselbart Team USA, the hegemon that controls almost the entire world and has invaded/breached the territorial integrity of about half the UN member states, and is now trying to remove the last pockets of resistance, is the good guy team? Why? Because they are an oligarchy that is better at pretending to be a democracy than the Russian oligarchy? Or because their media through freedom of press worldwide allows them to better mold the brains of people than the Russian media can? Freedom of press = America controls public opinion. Russia has gotten somewhat better at it, mainly in the US itself, but still has a long way to go before it can do US level global brainwashing. Winning the information war due to more capable propagandists doesn't make one a good guy. But since the victors write history, if the US wins the next few showdowns, they will go down in history as the good guys and there will be no opponents left to question that until new powers arise that can oppose US hegemony or the US collapses from within. For reference, in the trials after WW2 despicable acts were only considered warcrimes if the axis had done them and the allies hadn't. If the allies had done them too, then it was fine. There are no good and bad guys in wars, only opposing sides and they both have their justifications for their actions.

I find this to be a good thing as long as you do not do wartime this time were good Germany were already having problems with the middle east and trying to stay out of that for Ukraine benefit and stay neutral as possible so please for the love of God do not do anything stupid or get caught.

@@MrGiselbart Pffft, you think the US are the good guys. That's a great joke. Maybe go look at the deaths caused directly and indirectly from US interventions.

*cue the Prussian march music playing*

Just think of all the countries in between lol

@@hairharbor5080 same team for time being

"You had me at invade."

​@@hairharbor5080speed bumps ...

Thanks!

for that we need more than Money you cannot just change over 50 years of garbage Management with a bit of money there isnt a single german alive that is actually ready to die for Germany let alone for Ukraine who the german press smeared as corrupt nazis just 5 minutes before russia invaded . Poland is probably a better Military better organized,funded ,not infested with trillion s of bureacrats and the soldier are actually shockingly encouraged to be pateiotic about their country meanwhile german soldier are smeares on the public space by their own defense minister

- Volker Pispers.

Its not a world war if germany isnt doing it. I really hope its not gonna happen. But the russian shaved adolf seems to go no lower than a world war... Anyways a good way to sleep warm in winter is a 2m³ Tent/Himmelbett build with 2 x 2m Dachlatten and 6 x 1m (3x2) and around 8-9m² of those cheap polyester blankets (the fluffy ones are great for isolation in dry situations). The opening should be at the head of the bed so you get fresh air directly without loosing too much heat where you dont need oxygen. It needs around 20-30 minutes to heat up and should be enough to survive the german winter. Good luck

​@@SidneyPatricksontbh, I see Putin more like Mussolini xD Add Poland being eager to throw fists, United Kingdom wanting to shake proudly the napkin called "peace deal" claiming the diplomacy has won, France showing itself as a big boy butmiserably falling apart as soon as things don't go as planned, Spain being Spain without the S, Italy dreaming about the past but still gets ruled by the africans they thought they would order over them xD And China probably will use the Third Reich spot

​@@SidneyPatricksonTannu Tuva is more than enough for Russia

Marx & Engels: Are we a joke to you?

@@HafdirTasare Marx wasn't German.

@@StarboyXL9 yes he was, he was born in Trier.

What is funny is that Socialism is communism LITE. Almost interchangable with a few exceptions if you get past all the sprinkles and sugar coat.

@@StarboyXL9 Education sucks, paroles rule, eh?

...and named after a large predatory cat just like old times...

Das schwer Flamenwerfer!

"Jawohl"

FRANZ, YOU GET ZE NEBELWERFER

Hans hol den Flammenwerfer...

"Oh, you jokers are crazy!" (Belarus has capitulated) (Overrun) (Overrun) (The Fall of St. Petersburg) (Fall of Volgograd) (Overrun) (Overrun) (Fall of Moscow) (Russian Federation has capitulated)

Ya me too! I want to see how good Germany's weapons would be, but let's be honest russia isn't putting up a good show vs a minor with a low military budget.

Germany has retaken Konigsberg. They will never return it.

"Fifty years, have I been WAAAAITING, TO SIT UPON MY THRONE!"

"No allegiance! I will SWEAR NO OAAAATH!"

Awaiting hitler 2 to invade poland in 2039

I love that wherever there be Germany WW2 jokes. Sabaton will follow

Unfortunately you are so right! We will do!

Auch Deutschland: Meine Atomkraft ist tot.

@@nwmacguyauch Deutschland: macht den schlechtesten Witz in der Runde

@@metamorfiete Warum? Macht den Witz schon um einiges besser, weils 100% true ist aber wähl mal weiter die Grünen 50iq Mongo

​@@patrickwieschmann8579Man muss halt kein dämlicher Grünenwähler sein um anzumerken, dass der Witz wirklich grottenschlecht war. Was das mit dem IQ, also dem analytisch-logischen Denken, zu tun haben soll, erschließt sich mir nicht wirklich.

Germany: i guess ill go make those Russian gas sources German i guess, lebensraum 2 electric boogaloo

Germany: We will buy gas from other opressive dictatorships then!

I'd be willing to bet in 2 years the us will become a major exporter of energy

@@Typexviiib how will they be able to do that?

@@HafdirTasare well the united states has the worlds largest supply of shale rock within its borders, which can be turned into natural gas. it has tons of geological resources that it is not making use of. it's what allowed America to become an energy exporter again, which has not happened since the second world war.

*Danish money making noises* YEES!

@@Elenrai Does this mean Japan and Italy are back in?!!!

@@Wolf_3125 Japan's currently trying to permanently amend their pacifist constitution so yeah

Japan yes please However im not sure about italy last time they werent so useful...

Bringing the boys back together

The soviets even had to build a wall so the communism didn't spilled out and the Shermns (sorry, Germans) didn't loose it a bit

Based German danzig enjoyer

(Looks at Gdansk) Preußen is back on the menu, boys!

If Germany is supposed to punch of the Russian atackt, give not just Danzig, give also Königsberg (currently Kaliningrad)

My grandpa had around 30k to one... but it could be considered "Sealclubbing". He bombed france...

no they didn't. whats the source on that?

France finished the game with a 5/2 KD during Napoleonic Wars, anglos still do their waterloo cope to this day (germans saved their ass)

@@knifetoseeya I could be wrong here, but I think the joke is that Germany conquered 10 countries (Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark, Norway, Lithuania, Greece*, and Luxembourg. Austria, chunks of the Balkans*, and parts of Italy once they capitulated and switched sides as well, though they aren't quite the same for reasons. *Italy was equally involved in this. Whether or not that's a help or a hindrance is up to you. This, of course, does disregard the overwhelming superiority in manpower, material, and industry Germany had over (most of) those countries, how isolated they were from any support, and the fact that Germany had been pouring absolutely mindboggling amounts of resources into getting their military (and military thinking) into "fuck all of Europe" mode for years. Like during Barbarossa, the Germans literally had the Soviets outnumbered across the entire frontline for months. The fact that they held on was fuck ass insane. Germany enjoyed plenty of early success (Battle of France, holy fuck) but once other nations dusted off their old military doctrine and applied a stiff upper lip (UK/Commonwealth) and got their industry ramped up, or just got their whole... well, situation under control (Soviet Union) and were able to get competent officers in there, Germany couldn't achieve any strategic victories in the way they had pre-1941. Some victories for sure (Operation Doppelkopf, halting Operation Market Garden) but nothing groundbreaking like in the early stages of Barbarossa or Fall Gelb.

"No they didn't" "Haha it is because they capitulated a bunch of countries" Correct. For the whole war it was more like four Soviet casualties for every one German death they inflicted. Number goes down further when you include the western front and consider some of those deaths were from German allies; Finland, Hungary and Romania all were heavily involved in the eastern front, Bulgaria and Italy sent token forces, and Spain sent volunteers. But op's figure comes from Barbarossa where yes, for every ten Soviet casualties there was only one German casualty. Bare in mind, casualty doesn't mean death, it can mean severe injury or capture or missing in action. But given how viscous the fighting was on the eastern front getting your leg blown off or being captured by either side was just a delayed death for most.

Round 3

Round 3 and let's hope the US and Britain (lol) doesn't make the same mistake.

​@@sijul6483in that time it wasn't a mistake 🤨

Hearts of Iron 5: now it's personal

They aren't just allowing it, they actually force Germany to do it. Trump said he wouldn't protect countries who don't use 2% of their BIP

as a german i have to points to make 1 our army in itself is shit. (political problems) and malfunktioning equipment. 2 if we get militzarized again this time its decidet by a democratic act. it should be supported by most of the nation freely. not because a few crazy dipshits have lost their cool.

To be fair, half the world's population was fighting more than just Germany. It was a global war after all.

We Germans are quit aware that this will be the 3 times people blame a world war on us! That's why we don't want anything to do with this shitshow. yet our dear trusted allies do anything in their power to make us! From cutting power supply to mas migration through libia which happened to get bombed by our friends too.

Your post shows, that you absolutely have no clue of todays Germany.

The uk is still a collection of tribes as it was in 100 b.c.

Bruh this is the biggest English cope ever, it will be sooner that Soctland becomes indepdent than the British becoming relevent beyond the channel.

@@lolasdm6959 >Implying scotland is that important the only thing scotland has going for it is oil, which we already don't have anyway. It's economy is a deficit on the UK economy as a whole. It's population smaller than londonistan.

@@mappingshaman5280 British presumption is a deficit on my will to live

@@livefreeordie42 there is no presumption, only fact. We are in an energy crisis, Westminster spends more on Scotland than it receives in taxes and the population of Scotland is smaller than the population of Londonistan. These are facts, not presumption.

we have had political power since the 70s and we still havent started a war cant say the same about the us or russia tough

2 countries going qt it, even with nukes is not nearly as bad as a world war. But when those tensions start spreading qnd countries begin bolstering their forces in preparation for how thwy will respond and whose side they will take, that is when there is great cause for alarm. Currently the buissiness in ukraine isnt the rest of the worlds problem. YET.

@@averagejoe9040 well russia told nato to fuck off for a reason, if nato and russia go to war, then its natos fault for intervening

Russia isn't and was never planning to nuke Ukraine, because Russia is winning the war conventionally. No need to use nukes.

Well Ukriane is technically a german Idea after all... ^^* We are very concerned.

@@jonasschroder1055 And the Azov Battalion are openly Nazis.

I mean I'm alittle surprised they added that in there, knowing that Ukraine when occupied by Nazi germany was given its own name

@@jonasschroder1055 Ukrainian nationalism extended long before Germany ever got involved.

@@kaiserepsilon4011 Germany promoted this. Before, during and after world war 1. The German idea was always to part russia into smaller nationalised countries... They even used the so called "national hero" (a flaming nazi) Bandera for that. Of course that wouldn't have worked without a cultural/national interest in ukraine.

It's cool getting comments like this, thanks!

in ww2 Germany had a nice focus on Ukraine during Occupance, giving it its own Government and name due to it providing lots of food so it makes sense lmao

Lietuva buvo ir bus!

@@Kovasilent amen 😅

hundred percent true? tell me how many of germans actually are willing to fight and die for a country. sure shittalking is a great assest but the money goes into dumbass projects and the money hungry bureacrats the actual soldiers only benefit is maybe they dont spy on him for veing a "nazi" that much

*we can change that*

Finally a based german

@@zawarudo1161 never let your dreams be dreams

@@makutas-v261 who said i was gonna let them stay as dreams?

I have no idea, what sort of Germans you came across, but stop stereotyping all Germans. Yes, there are some or even plenty of Germans, who have some screws loose in the head, but most Germans don't bottle up stress and anger, and are actually very relaxed and nature-loving guys, who just want to get on with life peacefully.

Maybe its because you goddamn Migrant workers refuse to speak Deutsch in Deutschland!

Ami, the Germans scare me, you don't know which is racist and which isn't, and they look at you in a violent way, it makes me uncomfortable as they stare at me.

Erika

its also kinda stupid to imply that Germany has any intrest to go after Russia, its more like American wishful thinking

Yeah? But what will Germany do if for example, Russia takes over Poland?

@@Balinux asking them for a return of east Prussia, Silesia, Königsberg and so on

@@Balinux fight the Russians. Poland is a NATO member, just like Germany

@@MickGallJr So, you'd invade Poland?

Lmao this is absolutely a harmless joke, my friend

@@Kovasilent I had no friends as a kid and don't have a 'normal' humor. •-•

@@Kovasilent I know but as a history fan it could get understood wrong. But I still watch it.

You're Insane

@@buzter8135 aren't we all

WWIV gonna be lit.

More like WNW

well said people need to stop hiding behind nukes and fight like MEN

Grundsätzlich richtig, allerdings sind viele Sachen nur theoretisch nicht einsatzfähig. Sobald irgendwelche Blinker nicht mehr funktionieren, Inspektionen noch nicht durchgeführt wurden oder der TÜV abgelaufen ist, gelten Fahrzeuge als nicht einsatzfähig. Oft reicht es sogar, dass Fahrzeuge eine längere Zeit nicht kontrolliert worden, um sie so einzustufen. Vieles ist daher einfach auf die Bürokratie zurückzuführen und im Ernstfall wäre die Einsatzbereitschaft deutlich höher

@@michelbuss7825 Auch wieder wahr. Aber ich kann mir ein kompetentes deutsches Militär einfach nicht vorstellen :)

NATOs goal is successful, good.

As long as you guys leave your weird danish cousins alone we cool! Seriously, just PAY for the food the next war okay? And just...go in and use the airbase, you dont need to waste the effort of occupying us, what would we do? Invade Hamburg with a battalion of Danish conscripts?

@@Elenrai exactly no no, i am not joking i am from northern germany, in a city with some military presence; and i got to hear a lot of rumors about (current) danish special forces being better than our own so, yeah, you guys probably could go and take Kiel or Hamburg, but probably not anything else ^^

Can’t spell NAruTO without NATO

Germanys closest "Ally" just blown up her most important energy infrastructure so... idk

So cringe I died

ww1 Germany actually beat the Russians & made them withdraw from the war, so ww1 eastern front was not a failure though the war as a whole was. if i was Russia i wouldn't be a betting man that Germany is going to flex its wings. since its been grounded since the 40's.

Actually they succeeded in ww1

Actually in ww1 Germany succeeded with invading Russia while in ww2 Germany would’ve succeeded without the US lend lease program. Russia never stood a chance against Germany alone in history.

bro is learning history in memes.

@@mrhonk8821 ~hell i forgot about that

How many Times do i have to explain to you modern Germany isnt Nazi Germany and also Not Kaiserreich, WE would get steamrolled by freaking poland

Well said

One very telling example of what the Russians were like, for those who didn't know yet, was at the end of the war. The deathcamp Buchenwald was freed by American soldiers, and in may 1945, control of the camp was transferred to the USSR. They promptly started using the camp again until 1950, by throwing their own political opponents into it.

All US EU issues can be solved politically without bloodshed.

@@lolasdm6959 yeah bro remember when politicians tried to solve ukraine without bloodshed

@@dozhdzolotoy4111 i don't know does us have a far right leadership? even trump was all show, his more a pacifist than joe biden. does us have terrotorial ambitions in europe? does the europeans pose any threaty miliarily or economcally?

that would be very interesting europe would be free from the influence of the united states and would become a true superpower led by germany

@@dozhdzolotoy4111 well the "West" ignored all political, military and general concerns that russia had. They never tried. Imagine Cuba joining a russian alliance again...