Thanks for an honest and raw video as always. The exercise of balancing between connection and isolation is similar to many other seemingly conflicting needs we have as humans. I believe our traumatized minds magnify the extremity with our black-and-white thinking because our arrested developmental part is not geared to handle life's complexity. If we re-label isolation as "self-connection", maybe that creates a different perspective. We all want connections to other beings and to ourselves, in various degrees, and in some formats that hopefully are acceptable in the social construct we live in. Some of us are keener on defining or following the format than others (e.g. friendship, romantic, long-term partnership, etc.). Those agreed formats help us to set boundaries, and provide a level of safety and certainty in the very uncertain and chaotic world we live in.

You put into words exactly what I have been thinking. I am a 69 yr old. I have had very hurtful and lonely marriages. I have not had a date since 2006. The analysis of potential costs, benefits, and risks is heartbreaking to me. In the Bible there is a woman named Leah. I relate so much with her. I try to understand and explain this to myself in my head and I am still confused.

How much more failing can we endure? Well it might be nearly forever. I've accepted it that I am very choosy and must have certain things right. And I would rather be alone that with someone just lacking in those certain areas. I can make friends that are the casual and slightly distant types if I must. Living alone and loving it is not all a bad thing.

Hello, I'm 62 year old Australian male, twice divorced. I'm currently not in a relationship with anybody. I feel exactly your conversation. Fed up with apps, and social medial head space. Readjusting to single existance. Have cravings for female company. Really not totally for sex at all. I sometimes just looking for a level of closeness.

I really want to isolate- it is unlike me and such a draw

I’m glad I found your channel .. thank you for all of these great videos …

Yes,

you should write a book <3

can you please create a video on those of us that have since childhood done everything the right way (behaved, excellent grades, perfect college major) just to seek the love and approval from our father. Not really because he never loved us but because hes the only one in the family that does and you dont want to lose that. Now as adults away from our fathers, we realize we are not ourselves and living a life that our father wanted.