NEVER interfere with an enemy when they are in the process of destroying themselves.

If they had taught me about narcissism in school I could have avoided A LOT of trouble… and I don’t think I’m the only one

My exwife had a hard time in court during our divorce as she annoyed the judge and was constantly complaining and knowing everything better. I kept my mouth shut and let my lawyer do this work and let the law proceed as it was written and guess what, the end result was a huge and unpleasant surprise for my exwife :)

True character is revealed when pressure is applied.

A word to the wise, Family Court is a whole other ballgame. My divorce dragged on for ten years. It was a nightmare. It only ended when my NPD passed away. I will NEVER get married again. I didnt know about NPD until much later so I could unscrew my brain from all the trauma and terrorizing I had to live through for decades. He was misdiagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, but his doctor warned me he was dangerous and unpredictable. It was too late we were already married and had kids by then. It was like walking on eggshells my whole adult life. He was so dramatic and I lived in fear. Now, I can sense a NPD from a mile away and seek to avoid people. It's very toxic and it feels like you have been poisoned. It takes a long time to detox from that situation.

I think that anybody who saw the Amber Herd versus Jonny Depp case saw narcissism on trial.

"Don't do well where they have to tone down their entitlement, they crack, can't stop themselves, roll their eyes, shift in their seat, mumble things under their breath." So true, Dr Ramani, you're the best!

Staying calm is excellent advice, but even more important is to document everything and anticipate their arguments. Often narcissists find narcissistic lawyers and they love delaying, derailing and sabotage. To them it's more important that you loose than to get a solution. So basically a nightmare all together. Be prepared for it all!

Seen narcissists use word salad under their false mask in court. Some ppl fall for it bc they don't understand narcissists.

My ex was an attorney..my life with him was like I was perpetually in court being interrogated

My narcissistic aunt took me to court over my inheritance. I got a lawyer and was ready to fight it when we found out that my aunt went behind our back, set up the court date, never told us about it, and since we didn't show up, she won. My aunt's lawyer stopped being a lawyer immediately after that. That's when I learned that immoral is not the same as illegal.

I filed a no contact order against my narcissistic FIL, and in retaliation he filed one against me too. I did it on my own, spent 0$, just wasted a few hours plus a few trips to the court house. He hired a lawyer who fleeced him really well. He behaved quite well in the courtroom consider he’s a narcissist, but lied a lot as usual. He really felt humiliated for what I told in the courtroom coz he had a reputation to keep as a “community leader”.

Yes! As a business litigation attorney, I've dealt with more than my share of narcissists. Most judges saw right through them. Even though they were a huge pain to deal with and cost their opponents a lot of money, I really enjoyed having opposing parties or witnesses like this because they couldn't bully or manipulate their way to getting what they wanted when they were under oath on the witness stand.

My ex had a set of papers that he needed to turn over to my female lawyer( I chose a divorce lawyer who was on a board at a women’s abuse shelter home thinking she would be so aware of controlling narc situations!) …as we stood lawyer to lawyer in the courtroom, my ex announced he had the papers for her and tossed them to the floor at her feet instead of handing them to her!!!😳…we all stood there totally shocked at this behavior!!!! Yep…I had chosen well for my lawyer….she totally understood all the antics of the narc!!!!That was 2005… couples counselors were not up to speed at dealing with narcissistic abuse…my lawyer and my personal counselor were on top of things from the start !!!! But today there is so much going on in the area..I am finally letting myself off the hook…I already survived…now on to thriving !!!!

Most terrifying experience of my life. The judge was also a wife beater and a narcissist. He punished me for leaving my abuser.

My wife’s ex, who adopted 2 kids with her, left for Hollywood to become an actress 6 months after signing the papers. She was living off their state support checks in LA and applying for food stamps in the kids names. That triggered child support to come after my wife who quickly proved the kids were living with her. The support checks got redirected back to my wife and the ex had to go to child support court where she was ordered to pay my wife @$300 a month. She stood there in disbelief and actually said to the judge “I have to pay HER!?!” The judge said YES, and when you start working, you can pay her MORE. It was a delightful victory against that terrorist. I will never forget it.

It is amazing to see a judge ask a direct question and to see them scramble to do their "answer by not answering" thing, in a situation where it's not allowed. At the end of the day it's respect, they at least understand that they want the judge to like them, that the judge has influence over their life. FYI ladies I was able to get a lawyer for a PFA via a women's shelter. I applied for a grant because I didn't have income and the services were covered. It saved my life.

One of the crimes jose did was to molest our daughter. In front of my eldest. I went to police and to court. His parents flew out to defend him. Judge took all evidence, looked at me and said, “I think you’re a manipulator and a liar.” I was calm, did all the right steps, trusted the system, and the system let all of us down.

OMG! This is SPOT ON! It’s incredible because this is exactly what happened in court against the narcissist in my life! Got in major trouble with judge!!

My narcissistic ex took me to district court to try and take my cat away from me, after already terrorizing me by taking him from me & rehoming him for two months in which I was desperately searching for him & absolutely distraught. I remained calm once I got served, retained a lawyer, did all the prep I needed to on my end and got in therapy to help me through it. My ex thought he could represent himself (in typical narcissist fashion) and failed miserably. The trial was absolutely embarrassing on his end as he did not know what he was doing and he said the most insane things that even had the judge in shock. Meanwhile my lawyer completely schooled him. Although it did not take much because he literally was his own downfall. Like I’m telling you, he was a complete laughing stock and just kept digging holes for himself to fall into with all the lies he couldn’t keep track of. It was the most entertaining, satisfying outcome I could’ve ever asked for, and I haven’t heard from him ever since, and I’m living the best no contact life (with my cat) and I’ve truly never been happier. Happy endings do exist and I’m so grateful I had one in this scenario.

The judge told him that arguments do not cause broken bones. He broke my wrist and was arguing it wasn't him that it was JUST an argument. I got my Protection order. Only 6 months and he broke it 13 times. He keeps getting jail time, doesn't show for court, gets off with this and that. But 3 states have warrants out for him. He's currently in jail. I breathe easy for a while.

Reminds me of an early red flag in my last narcissistic relationship. When we met, I was going to the gym regularly and looked and felt really good. So when we started dating I invited him to join me. It was clear that he wasn't excited about the prospect but I thought maybe he'd find that he enjoyed it so I persevered. About 30 minutes later, he comes up to me in a rage to tell me that we needed to leave. I'm like, why? He says that he was told that he couldn't work out in sandals. I hadn't really noticed but who goes to the gym in sandals? He was so enraged that they had told him he couldn't stay there without closed toe shoes, and it was clear we would never be back. Knowing what I know now, I so wish I would have said, those are the rules and they make sense. What's your problem? That would no doubt have ended our relationship. Sigh, such a great way to avoid a narcissistic relationship!

It was such a pleasure to hear about my narcissistic brother in-law in divorce court. The judge would not put up with any of his usual obnoxious comments . It must have been cathartic for my sweet sister-in-law who had endured it for 30 years. By the way Dr R., that’s a great fashion look on you. 😊

I love how passionate and knowledgeable you are with your work. You’re such a gift to the world. So inspiring.

I had to get a Restraining order. Three times on my property documented w police. Then I filed looked up all the info on how to get a Restraining order. Not fun! But, i got one and I got distance for a time moved to another state and he still tried to hoover. Went right to the police filed a report and I will keep filing reports w the law every-time he tries to engage w me. Document Document Documents!!!

My ex could not stay composed or behave in court. This is exactly right

My divorce of 22 year marriage was a nightmare. My attorney actually apologized to me (after 28k fees) for not “believing” me. As she said during one of the many settlement conferences that “no matter what corner I go to, he goes to the other”. 30 years later I still feel the effects of that relationship.

I went to court with my ex husband (covert narcissist) he berated the female judge over the protection order. She didn’t grant it because they were more concerned about his military career! He brought up my PTSD and said that I was over reacting because of that although HE ADMITTED TO ABUSING ME!! He said, “ Yes, I did abuse her BUT that was in MY past!”🙄

The low functioning abusive awful Narcissist was a nightmare in court. He appealed our divorce and actually won to appeal even with his series of other crimes he was navigating legally through. It’s a triggering series of events that I now call tuition. he was tolerated in an unbelievable fashion in court, muted, but rarely faced any contempt charges. I’m writing a book on this experience because it’s morbidly fascinating

My mother lied about domestic violence and took me to court, and when i brought my lawyer along, she looked stunned. She assumed the experience will break me. She end up having to withdraw all her allegations but lost me and my brother as her kin forever. She is now old and alone.

My son abandoned me 6 years ago. I think his narc dad turned him against me ( parental alienation). I reach out to him every holiday but he never responds. I even asked him if he wanted to go to therapy and he never responded. He moved to St Thomas, VI and started a business on the Beach. We would have to use Zoom/Telehealth if he decides to come back into my life and work things out. My son became very successful. I helped him get his Masters in Industrial psychology too. Of course his dad is "top dog" and helped him also get through college. My son and I have Bipolar2 and he blames me for that. We used to be very close. He has picked up some of his dad's traits. I cry on Mother's Day. I never thought this would happen to me. He's 36 years old and I don't think I'll ever see him again.😢

Court recently ended with a huge victory for us. The narc rambled on about how good a parent the narc was... Yada yada yada... How much the narc cared and loved the children. Then, the surveillance team entered the court room. Lies were all exposed on the big screen. Proof of the narc putting the children into danger... Proof of the lies. Get yourself a good private detective before you go to court. Pay them whatever they want. Find the money.

I had to do my case by Zoom and I had to wait almost five hrs. to wait for my case to be held. I just couldn't believe how my ex denied things. I was so happy the judge could see thru his lies, she awarded me the PTO and allowed me to get paid for my hospital bill for when I had to go to the emergency room for when he punched me in my stomach and the judge allowed me to get paid for the eight to nine days I stayed at a hotel waiting for my ex to get served the PTO.

I disagree. I never got any justice from my NPD husband. Mine would cry crocodile tears on cue for court even tho he never cried in all the 20 years we were together. Not even when our son died in a car accident. He was a beautiful liar, too. I could only wish his pants caught n fire in the courtroom. lol He stole pages out of my journal to try to use against me. He had a tote bag full of notes about me. He had an affair partner (twice divorced) where he could go to her for divorce advice and to use her phone. Then it was two against one. He tried to starve me into a divorce agreement. He tried to honeymoon me into a divorce agreement. He tried to trash my name in public any chance he got. He was a sick f*cking bastard. He's passed away now. A victim of his own lifestyle. Good riddance, Andy. I felt such relief he couldnt hurt me anymore. I was giddy when I saw his obituary in the paper.

pray for me

Perfect timing, I have court tomorrow with mine lol. With my soon to be ex husband, its always the outlandish messages I receive the days before court on how he is going make me go phsyco in court. He just constantly lies and disobeys the court and then of course I caused that as well. I have learned to be calm and cool from you so I cant thank you enough.

My ex almost went to trial due to his show of victimization. After 2 years of He only wanted to be a good father, he took his son fishing last year. Him and his attorney tried some tactics that backfired on them both. Judge sided with me

This worked in court on the covert narc I used to be married to. I paid for the transcripts just because she was caught plain as day in 6 different complete fabrications and fits. Oh and yes her attorney quit shortly after she was exposed. WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!!

Most of them hide behind high priced lawyers and don’t say a word (on advice from said Lawyers)

Same experience! When I left the relation ship I called CPS to help me deal with him. I said I cannot give him our daughter without his mother being present looking for her safety. The CPS Lady was amazing. She reassured me "we know this kind of people" and arranged a familiy reunion. His family and my family met to sit at the table and discuss solutions. He sabotaged completely an blocked everything that everybody was so annoyed in the end.

Narcissists have no respect for anyone in a position to judge them, ie, therapists, psychiatrists, bosses, judges or anyone in authority who can tell them what to do. They're afraid of those people but moreover, despise the power they have.

Interestingly, my narcopath husband is the MOST SELF CONTROLLED, calm, cool cat anyone will ever see. He will suck it up when he has to and does completely fly under the radar and dance on the line of the law. He is cunning and terrifying !!!! I don't live with him for the past 3 years

I have a psychopathic (or at very least, highly malignant) father, and I remember how my mom's divorce lawyer literally wouldn't believe the things she'd say about him, she first told my mother 'And what exactly am I supposed to do here?'....that was until she met him in court - and saw firsthand how he just made things up out of thin air such as my mother constantly taking money from their shared bank account (that never existed, bc my mom doesn't do shared bank accounts out of principle) and the most ludicrous things that sure worked well among colleagues to start smear campaigns, but not when everything you say will be investigated for proof.

My late husband was a raging malignant narcissist attorney who said things like I can get you committed or held on a 72 hour hold. Its easy. Or I know of a few ways to kill someone and get away with it, like drowning. You get the picture. Needless to say I never stood near the edge of a cliff with him.

My SIL thought she could persuade the judge like she was always able to squirm out of situations. He shut her down so fast and didn't hear any of her moving speeches. He wanted to see evidence. We had a lot, so we won.

😂 my favorite ever "...we can't prosecute someone for being an asshole"

A very timely subject considering all the recent and comical Trump trials!

One of my narcissistic exes falsely accused me of sexual assault, harassment, and “stalking,” despite the fact that we lived together. The judge was obviously biased against males to have signed off on the ex parte, but once we got to court I didn’t even have to present my evidence of all our text messages. Because the judge caught her contradicting herself, then rolled his eyes at her when she brought up Facebook. (And she had altered the messages from the original to lie about me!) The judge threw out the case and then my narcissistic ex cried because she didn’t get her way.

In our city, a group of hundreds former students of a church and school associated with the church, have brought a class action lawsuit against the church and school. The charges include assault, assault with a weapon, and sexual assault - committed by everyone from the narcissistic head pastor (who has returned to Texas, and is evading legal service), to a local narcissistic city councillor, to former "teachers" (who were not certified by the local school board), Sunday school teachers, and more staff. There have been, to this point, four former staff (narcissists) charged with criminal activity, and we have spent most of the year in court. The narcissistic ones are the most religious and defiant. One former gym teacher has pled guilty in an agreement, and is due to be sentenced for his crimes (he sexually abused a young woman - then a child, and called it an affair) in January 2024. He's contesting his sentencing, because - of course it's the young woman's fault. Plus, he says he admitted his guilt, so he should have special treatment - lesser sentence. Another criminal defendant is wanting to "come to an agreement," but the male charged alongside of him is so arrogant and abusive, that there has already been at least 3 adjournments due to the disagreement. We (I am a parent of some of the former students) are going back to court this week for the arrogant male - who pled "absolutely not guilty, your honour" to the sole charge - demanding a trial by judge alone (he appeared in court with his wife, and two other males. He was dressed like a fashion plate, while his wife - who had to sit behind him - flanked by the two males, was dressed plainly - almost frumpy. She had no style at all, and was not allowed to speak to her husband, who was on his chair - sitting like he was on a throne - in front of her. She was silenced (non-verbally) by a man sitting to her right. The fourth male (extremely narcissistic) is the one who did the most damage to my own family. He is so arrogant, that he didn't even show up to be fingerprinted, and the police - after a warrant was issued - hunted him down at his home, to fingerprint him. He has pled "definitely not guilty - I did not do the things I am being accused of" through his lawyer, on a phone call. He has never appeared in court. His lawyer has called in to court on his behalf. He also appears to feature prominently in the "parent's rights" demonstrations, in media photographs, that took away basic human rights from trans children in our province. The things he, and his now deceased wife, did to me and my children are heinous. Those abuses were 34-35 years ago, and it has taken our family until today to finally start to get resolution. Our legal system is seemingly indifferent to religious abuses, and our "justice system" isn't just. It has taken decades of complaints being made for anything to be taken seriously. I, myself, made police complaints back in 1991, and spoke with reporters about the things we escaped from back then, too. But, the police didn't seem to want to do anything about what was alleged - or, there "wasn't enough evidence." Or something. If you want to learn more about what has happened, there is a Spotify podcast called, "The Legacy Of Abuse Podcast." Links are provided in the "about" part of the podcast, to the class action suit, and other things. These narcissists have abused in the name of their chosen religion. I divorced my (then) husband, because he was so abusive, after swallowing the beliefs and teachings, seven years after marrying him. As a narcissistic abuser, he continued to abuse for decades, and currently listens to your KZfaq videos - claiming he is "learning how to not abuse." (But, we all know how that works.) Our story is extreme, and we have been so damaged by what has happened - because of narcissistic abusers. But, it is more common than people know. And, religion hides a LOT of such stuff. Narcissists will also use the legal system to hurt their targets. We know that. And, it happened to me when I divorced my ex. Sorry for the long comment. I wish people could actually see and understand what narcissists do.

Thank you so much dr Ramani. My narcissistic uncle is taking me to court to fight me over my my grandmothers Will. All of your videos have kept me sane. 💛

Sounds like a playground for the covert narcissist.

I took brother to court for his abuse to me he's very narissant and crewl he feels he's above everyone. I am not here to be abused by him .or anyone else. Sunny 😎

could you possibly do a video about estrangement from narcissistic children since the holidays are coming up? I am in this situation and I’m finding it very hard to deal with and I’m sure there are a lot of other people out there dealing with this as well… I very much enjoy your videos, and they are very informative

enjoyed the video and loved the comment that you can’t prosecute them for being an asshole… Thank you

I took a narcissist to court last year; it was shocking how unprepared he was...he didn't directly answer a single question, everything he said was either word salad or telling her what a horrible person I was

This is exactly what happened in my divorce court. I stayed calm and quiet and my acted out.

Tantrums may not work in courtrooms but lies sure do.

Ahhhh.. that made me so happy and content. Thankfully, I figured early on that he did exhibit a lot of narcissistic traits. When he smeared me, I was pretty sure but more concerned. As he wouldn't leave me alone, I began gathering proofs against him. And my my, oh my..! I have a treasure of satisfaction against him. I've filed a case against him and can't wait to go to court! The best part, he knows what I have against him and just to make sure of my safety, I told him that the cops already have everything they need against him! I couldn't hire a private detective, so I became one. All praise be to God!

Dr Ramani, I will buy your book in a heartbeat❤ you are amazing ❤

Wow… to a T. Thank-You Dr. Ramani, you’re incredibly educational.

Oh boy is this video timely! 🤭When that person cannot stay on the subject of what the judge asks them (and they just delay, delay, deflect, etc.) then they play the victim card while trying to put on a “strong” demeanor. 🙄

Narcissists are so self-unaware that they don't realize how obviously awful they appear to anyone who knows how the system typically works.

My narcissistic mom had a messy divorce. She asked my advice, her plan was literally to guiltrip the judge, I told her that was a terrible idea, she hated me for it. Then in court she kept writing strongly worded letters to the judge full of caps lock insults with a mix of guilttip and female (women are always right) entitlement. She didn't comply to even the most basic requests from the judge. In his sentence, the judge said she left him no choice but to side with my dad in every aspect of the divorce, she had to pay even for his lawyers. As soon as she was in an environment where people care about accountability, she fell apart as hard as it is possible to do so.

Thank you for acknowledging what we’re all seeing on the news every night about our former President. I hope by acknowledging his condition, maybe some who love him will finally see the light.

This is very reassuring. Thank you. I’m about to go head to head with a massive narcissistic person and if I win he’ll be send to prison for a long time. I hope what you said happens on the day. I agree he’ll struggle from the loss of control which will be controlled by the judge ❤️❤️

Lmao I love that we all know who she's talking about 😂 thank you Doc!

Almost a decade in family court with a NEX. I fired my attorney over a year ago, and have since enjoyed victory after victory. A few tips. Narcs believe they are above accountability; any failures or shortcomings are to be blamed on someone else, like their attorney. You got a paper divorce...cool...now get an emotional divorce. Narcs like to push your buttons...find a calm and relevant way to push theirs on the witness stand. They cannot push your buttons if you got that emotional divorce previously mentioned. Our last bout in court ended with my NEX's attorney arguing with the magistrate before angrily withdrawing her contempt complaint. They can't hide all the time in front of a judge.

Can't wait to read Dr Ramani's book!

Set up/ so I thought in court... It didn't happen to me it happened for me....(. I know it was you GOD ) Behavior wise it helped me, that Narcissist was floored and that Judge was amazing..... GLORY 🙏🏾🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Beautiful advice. Sadly we have to accept judgements don’t always go our way. Unemotional dignity and calm is the way. My narc ex had honed his skill as a poker player and his very expensive barrister meant he spent minimal time giving his evidence and zillions of objections from barrister made a joke of the process. I was able to see his ‘tell’ of seething anger that had nowhere to go. I’m just mighty glad it’s over and take comfort in knowing I’m not alone thanks to Dr Ramani and you empathetic followers 🙏🏻

Yep, * Just under the radar *, thanks on that feedback -- Covertism at-large. ✌️☮️

Narc cousin took his ex to court in another country for full custody of their children. He lost. It was everyone elses fault. Not his, the financial abusive, physically and emotionally abusive narsacist that was at fault. He wanted the children so he could give them to his narsacist mother to raise (cause she did such a stellar job already). He lost it and continues to pretend he wanted his children, when all he wanted was to punish his ex for leaving him.

One of the narcs in my life took her "baby-daddy" to court. He was/is a VERY GOOD father, but a "new" guy came on the scene, so she wanted the "old" guy out of her life. So she lied like a rug! When he returned the favor and took HER to court, her MO was to cry, dramatically, and constantly, so the court proceedings never got anywhere. It was pathetic.

My ex would not participate. He would never complete a financial. He was found in contempt and he paid the vast majority of my legal fees. We ended up settling but I think he hid assets. I just wanted to be done!! 😮

I divorced my narc and everyone was taken in by him, even my lawyers. It was a horrible 3 years until it was finalized. Everyone thought he was so great. It’s been almost 3 years and I’m still working on recovering.

Brilliant and Fascinating. The more places we can identify and understand this behavior, the better. You so Rock, Dr. Ramani!

My attorney said ""dont say a thing" Let him bury himself, and he did.

This explained exactly what it was like to be in court with the narc of my life. He but he could lie without conscience. He made the judge upset by disrespecting her. And interrupting her. I did not know how to deal with it all, and the judge just assumed he and I had a disagreement. It became exhausting to try to keep up with the lies, The judge just got fed up.

Narcissists think they are on stage, in a courtroom, and really let it fly. The judges usually let them show themselves.

So true. My nex hid behind his expensive barrister until the final hearing, where the judge was able to see right through him! The system is still messed up though, family court doesn't care about domestic abuse and many convicted criminals are still given custody / access to their children. I was thinking that his barrister must also be a narc to have carried out his instructions and be so awful to me, knowing that he had been arrested so there was substantial evidence against him. Don't know how they sleep at night. And 5 minutes later he's trying not to adhere to the order!! 🙄

Sometimes the judge is the narcissist in court.

Yep- my current life. Court makes him pissed 😂

Where were you half a lifetime ago? I married a narcissist and had NO IDEA! (Didn't realize until i watched your videos last month).I was married 5 years, and it was hell! Once the abuse turned toward our children, I ran. It was a miracle we got away. The courtroom was the best grand finale! I was petrified no one would believe me, putting my 2 young children at risk. He never showed up, but his lawyer was there. The judge told me, "we don't need to hear from you." I was frozen in fear. My lawyer took my hand and said, "it's OK, come to my office and I'll explain." Turns out my X took the opportunity to write the judge and both lawyers. Horrid things about me and also threatening all three of them along with the police that interceded that night. I got sole custody and a permanent restraining order. Spent a lot of time watching over our shoulders, but I'm so thankful for that miracle!!!

My moms a narcissist and she told me with pride the one time she went to court and decided to represent herself

This is very well timed. Thank you for the insight and advice xx

I know of an elderly narcissist that went into a courtroom in his wheelchair and put on such a show that the judge actually said something like, "You are the star of the show, sir, but you need to let the hearing take place", and he wheeled himself all over the area in front of the judge for like 10 more minutes carrying on lmfao. It definitely made for great drama!

Just in time I am about to take divorce from my husband we just had a final talk. His mom is a narcissist I still don't know he is or not. Thank you Dr. Ramini

My Ex had to go to Court once for hitting me, and because of his past history of having been locked up for a variety of offences and suspected Manslaughter inarticulate towards his on\off Girlfriend at some point. 🍒

If only judges were trained on Narcissistic behaviors .... so many people "CRY" sob without tears - and judges fall for it.

Narcissist hate the court rules but love to try and twist and manipulate court rules.

This is great, but my experience at all. I wonder if you could do a part two? For those of us who've had to go to court multiple times with an ex while "co- parent" ing with them due to them actually using it as a stage and to get everything they want and hurt us in the meantime. Mine was a salesman and just turned it into a perfect place to perform the same stuff they successfully do with their personal flying monkeys and enablers. This is a nightmare that unfortunately the system doesn't see thru very often at all. As well as dealing with attorneys that are narcissistic and not really interested in your or the children's best interest,and in my case must have had a deal under the table some how cuz he ended up working for my ex on my dime. I fired him but lost the fool retainer, which I didn't have money to cover.

I think we all know who you're referencing as of late. You summed it up perfectly.

I'm here for this. About to deal with this.

DR R 5 years you have been there for ME. Thank you book on order. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉I owe you my life! 😊Penne

Ha. Been thinking about that a lot lately for some newsy reason. And my ex also did it all.My ankles actually got sore from me and my lawyer kicking each other under the table. Loved finally having all these people on my side (including a few with holsters on their hips).I paid for it in the settlement to avoid an actual trial, but worth it.

I was always walking on eggshells, lest he whack out on me or the kids. I didn't get my own lawyer... just agreed to everything he and his lawyer wanted... I just wanted it over with. At our final divorce hearing, he told the judge I wouldn't let the kids visit him. He had bought a house 4 houses down the block from us. The kids wanted nothing to do with him because he was NEVER a "father" to them. The judge believed him, and spent a half hour reaming me out for trying to keep the kids away from him, and threatened to take them away from me. I had always encouraged the kids to keep up a relationship with their Dad, and NEVER EVER said anything to harm their "relationship". My husband was always a good talker, always sounded rational... except when he went berzerk. After our final divorce hearing, he wanted to take me out to eat... I went. Afterwards he spent 45 minutes trying to convince me to have sex with him... no words of caring or loving me ( just like before), he was just horny.

I don't even know where to begin! I would say to myself, "If we aren't courting and we aren't dating, why do we have all these court dates?" Sadly these were custody battles. During these years he hired 5 different lawyers (firing each as their usefulness played out) plus one time representing himself when wife #2 became a legal assistant and he, making some false claims in court, ending up paying for a portion of my legal fees. I could go on but will stop here for now.

"the worse they are at following the rules" Sounds like my mom, MIL, fmr spouse, father, ...

Maybe we should prosecute assholery, bet there would be less crime.

The court staffing; as well as, the supporting industry(s) are a breading ground…