DENY! DENY! DENY! They literally will do anything but take accountability for their actions, its sad.
@neilf3352 жыл бұрын
Yes and they are incapable of saying sorry. They would rather attack the person who called them out.
@joywebster26782 жыл бұрын
"I never said that". Sigh
@suesilva52522 жыл бұрын
Married to one for 44 years, never heard the word ‘sorry’. Ever.
@DalHarpJr2 жыл бұрын
"Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way"! Is what my ex used to tell me, when I confronted her with her own BS! Anything close to an apology wasn't even sincere enough to be believable. And of course, the anger that followed when the lies were shot down with common sense! Too bad it took me four years to understand what I was dealing with was narcissism at it's finest, from a licensed psychotherapist no less!
@Capcoor2 жыл бұрын
Non-narcissists too.
@dragongamerboi1311 ай бұрын
They blow up, gaslight, and victim blame.
@user-zh5fh2li9u5 күн бұрын
Yes !!!
@mamihashimoto14294 ай бұрын
They usually deny it, act extremely dramatic, and start yelling. They even lie about something they said only 30 seconds ago.
@iNs0mN1a1980Ай бұрын
Oh my god, exactly this. Lying continuously about what she said a few seconds or minutes before. When I said I will record conversations she stopped and became another person.
@iNs0mN1a1980Ай бұрын
But of course, I couldn't do it every time so mostly I got lied about what she was saying. Even trying to manipulate by saying "I didn't understand that you asked that" or "I thought you are referring to something else"...for simple, basic questions.
@maryannmckinney4592 Жыл бұрын
They SCREAM at you while denying it!!!
@angelablaney45758 ай бұрын
They don't reply to your concerns, change the subject and put everything on you. Mine caused me a heart attack because of this. But he told me he brought me pants etc in hospital so everything is good?!!! No it wasn't good
@meemawdragon99646 ай бұрын
I realized that, every time he screamed at me how he didn’t do something….. he did. Each and every time. 😢 fortunately when you see it…. YOU SEE IT! 🥰🙏💕
@nica29475 ай бұрын
yup yelling and calling you a liar!
@jamiemcinerney84683 ай бұрын
Omg yes!!!! It's insane ....
@BL-sd2qw3 ай бұрын
All my family members have done this 😭
@JC-bu6vl2 жыл бұрын
From my own past experiences of catching narcissists lying, I have noticed that they find a way to blame you for it. Before you even realize it, you are defending yourself and trying to prove to them that you haven't done anything wrong.
@realhealing78022 жыл бұрын
Exactly! It's never their fault.
@assyriaking Жыл бұрын
YUP!!!
@cindymiller6800 Жыл бұрын
OMG you nailed it.
@rit20095 Жыл бұрын
Exactly thr same with my narc husband
@barbcarpenter8501 Жыл бұрын
They can get better with an Srri med
@electiveperspective90132 жыл бұрын
In their minds, they are above consequences and will NEVER admit to a lie, or the lies that followed to support the original lie. I just ended a two year relationship because of a lie that was told at the beginning, and subsequently followed us around for the remainder of our relationship, decimating all trust and intimacy. The most puzzling part is that instead of admitting to the lie, acknowledging that it was a poor choice, and sincerely apologizing, a narcissist would rather burn the whole thing down and feign victimhood.
@richellesutton14282 жыл бұрын
The exact thing happened to me. Thinking of you
@robertstrimpel42232 жыл бұрын
Spot on. I just had something similar happen. They (the narc) shared some very intimate details of our relationship with someone who they were with before and presented it to me in an attempt to make me jealous. That was the final straw for me
@empress_highpriestess33072 жыл бұрын
@Mary Carroll yes..and I think it offends their grandiosity to admit they can be subject to accountability- from you in particular.. Of course this destroys the trust and mutual regard that is the bedrock of the relationship itself ...the lieing and the aftermath.. the gaslighting, the rage, the indifference, or deflection and the lack of contrition or ownership, the blatant refusal to attempt repair or show any regard for the damage that is resulting is an unmistakable sign of two divergent and irreconcilable images of your relationship itself. Things can never be good again without this gap being bridged
@chickenbiscuit45252 жыл бұрын
@@empress_highpriestess3307 I really like this. There is a synergic attempt that logically is predestined to fail by applying both ends of the diad in conjunction to achieve their master goals. It would seem typical for them to fail in any ambition, thus they must gaslight to fool in order of interest to achieve a single thing. They rely on credits as fooled to themself. 🙏 Who said baphoons..? but it's dangerous, just like being around scaffold. Detached, in a glance it call fall away from anything, and for trust it would collapse. Authenticity is for dignity for we thrive in ourself. False self is a part not as us but a part we contend with and attempt to resolve, perhaps more from the external. Grateful in awareness and the sharing of this kind.
@lovelylinda88912 жыл бұрын
So well put!
@user-gn6xe4jr2d8 ай бұрын
The first thing they do is call you crazy
@josereyes11484 ай бұрын
Yep. He always reframed the argument that I was crazy for calling him out. Then it became more about me defending myself than the actual point of the argument.
@crochetcrazymama49722 жыл бұрын
They deny it, explode, accuse you of insulting them, and double down
@LyndieLouWho2 жыл бұрын
"I never said that." Heard it over, and over, and over, and over again.
@assyriaking Жыл бұрын
Bruh it’s ridiculous
@auntiimandii Жыл бұрын
Or "that's not what happened". Mine keeps telling everyone he's autistic (without any diagnosis) and he will constantly use that as an excuse for "not being like me" when I point out obvious lies and wrongs he's done. I truly believe he'd rather die than ever want to do better.
@hannahsyntyche1352 Жыл бұрын
This always drive me crazy, sometimes I record his conversation, but he always blame me that I am exaggerating
@manapeace11 ай бұрын
It’s especially maddening when they literally just did.
@IsabellaPiesch8 ай бұрын
And I didn´t do that - it was harmless...
@shelley79752 жыл бұрын
They get all self-righteous, and then they get pissy. It's part of their make-up and once you figure it out, you will never trust them again. There is no relationship with a narcissist.
@elinor65252 жыл бұрын
That's right, nailed it! Seen it in a person I have to deal with. We've caught her in the lie, she was getting all self righteous to manipulate getting her way, but it was a lie, flat out. Then comes the pissy, nit-picking on things we do...part of the deflection mode now she's been exposed. She's hoovering big time now, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, but you can see the cracks and strain of trying to maintain the facade. I'm sure another melt down is coming. Don't care any more, so liberating.
@Ina-wn7jd6 ай бұрын
Correct, there is no relationship with a narcissist.
@LB-dv8db2 жыл бұрын
Deny, get angry, blame you or others. Then they run.
@user-vs3mr4mr6s7 ай бұрын
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
@dad3562Ай бұрын
Strecker, is that you? ……
@daniellealston34022 жыл бұрын
When you call a narcissist out on a lie they deny and bring up vulnerabilities you’ve shared with them.
@mr.makedonija262711 ай бұрын
100000 percent
@paulsell24384 ай бұрын
Bingo!
@purpleowl20752 жыл бұрын
"What happens when you call a narcissist out on a lie?" They recruit flying monkeys to help them rewrite history and character assassinate their victim.
@jomacan86922 жыл бұрын
AMAZING
@exhaustedwife8622 жыл бұрын
Yes. This is what they do.
@aricaiwdjts2 жыл бұрын
1000%....my wife for the last 30 years ,my children the unwitting Flying Monkeys
@emilypsteele2 жыл бұрын
Yes. This
@studentberry31312 жыл бұрын
Boy boy boy
@JustKate432 ай бұрын
There’s just no point in going any further with someone when we’ve discovered they’ve been lying to us. Trust is totally destroyed! Thank you Dr. Ramani
@chasesidora Жыл бұрын
They deny it and then call you a liar
@smoothiecutie22773 ай бұрын
Thank you!! Exactly👍👍!!
@addy14092 жыл бұрын
When I called out my vulnerable/covert narcissist ex for lying, this was his pattern: 1. Angry denial 2. Diverting to a (not-at-all-related) topic he felt victimized about 3. Gas-lighting me I loved this man, and put years into working on this baffling, exhausting relationship. Dr. Ramani, you have saved my sanity and my life with your videos. I’m so grateful to you. ♥ It's Week 2 of No Contact. Thanks, too, to this kind community. I wish all of us healing and harmony. ♥
@AT-eu4zu2 жыл бұрын
I feel you hun. I divorced my husband this week. He was raised by 2 narcissistic parents and unfortunately he adopted a lot of their traits, he is their scapegoat and I became his. When he had to go through with the divorce he begged, pleaded, sobbed like a baby he tugged at my blanket (I was in bed) he scratched at my door as if beside himself with pain and this killed me because I genuinely love him. Might be a little trauma bonded with him too cause he abused me. He abused and lied about so much stuff. I was confused, doubtful of myself, so battered everyday in this relationship they all made me seem crazy I thought I’m the bad one. After the divorce, out of desperation, he admitted to some of the abuse , some, it wasn’t enough to admit to all and I thought to myself you saw me suffering and you could have begged and pleaded then to forgive you but it’s too late. I am devastated and my heart shattered into a million pieces I’ve never felt pain like this before but there’s also relief I can be myself I feel free I’m not confused anymore there’s hope. I just hope this pain subsides soon because I genuinely loved this man with all my heart and soul, no games or ulterior motives. Love and healing to us all who’ve endured this narcissistic abuse
@addy14092 жыл бұрын
@@AT-eu4zu My feelings exactly, about loving the man heart and soul, being devastated and shattered, and not knowing how I am getting through this unspeakable pain. You are not alone. Wishing you comfort, strength, and peace. ♥ 🏋♂☮
@catbishop2062 жыл бұрын
Saint ramani saved my life too:) Best of luck on your new journey! I'm on my way out also :) freedom never tasted so sweet :)
@addy14092 жыл бұрын
@@catbishop206 Congrats! And thanks for mentioning "sweet" freedom. Mine still seems a bit bitter. But I'm looking forward to at least bittersweet, if not full sweet. 😊
@catbishop2062 жыл бұрын
@@addy1409 have you made your "ick" list yet? I call mine the "yuck" list. Dr ramani recommended writing down every single nasty negative thing that your narcissist ever did to you, and add to it as you remember. Then whenever you feel things are hard, or you feel tempted to go back, you read it and remember. I'm praying for you. It's the best, hardest walk to freedom ever. You've got this, I know. Bc you've already been through the narcissists wrath. You are strong!
@SSJ00162 жыл бұрын
"What happens when you call a narcissist out on a lie?" Reactions may include, but aren't limited to: shame, denial, reverse victim and offender, word salad, and/or rage.
@purvamandlik46962 жыл бұрын
Once, in a meeting, our committee members confronted a vulnerable narcissist among us about all the lies he had been telling us against each other behind our backs. He tried to deny, but nobody was on his side. He just put his head down on the table and would not respond for several minutes. When he finally raised his head, he behaved as if nothing had happened, and proceeded to join the meeting discussion casually.
@maryahharris1572 жыл бұрын
Yes. They have a lot af tools they have accumulated over time to use against anyone who opposes them. Let's not forget that they also use Shame/ blame, reverse psychology, false humility, and even jokes to disarm you with a charming fake persona or personality.
@Carmen-.-2 жыл бұрын
@@purvamandlik4696 No shame. Very sad.
@princhipessa19692 жыл бұрын
Yep, every tool in their arsenal.
@TheRealJohnHooper2 жыл бұрын
I dont remember..I would never do such a thing.. Perfect gaslighting..
@QlueDuPlessis2 жыл бұрын
They double-down and say, "I never lied!..." And other forms of gaslighting
@AnonYmous-hp7qd2 жыл бұрын
What happens when you confront a lier for lying? They lie!
@zetaomegaomega2 жыл бұрын
I did an experiment to see what it looked like when he lied. I discovered undeniable evidence and 100% proof of something he did. I then asked him if he did it and observed his facial expression, eye movements, body language, voice, words, etc. when he denied it. At that moment, I knew I had to get him out of my life because they were familiar signs. It took a year to safely get him out, but in the mean time, every time that he showed those behaviors I knew for certain he was telling a lie. It was frequent. I felt empowered by knowing the truth.
@aoifeaylyamayze61092 жыл бұрын
Well done! Very wise of you.
@jenlya37832 жыл бұрын
Mine is an avoider of the topic. He will spend as little time talking about it when brought up. If you talk about it too long and keep pressing, or bring it up again at a later time, he becomes enraged saying we had already talked about it and he was done....never to talk about it again.
@sistergoldensunshine40692 жыл бұрын
Oh very smart. I hope never to have to use this tactic but just in case, I’m going to remember this!
@beccacaram2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant! Have you seen any of The Behavior Panel? They break down body language. It’s fascinating! You sound like a panelist 😉
@zetaomegaomega2 жыл бұрын
@@beccacaram I haven't but I'm looking that up now😉 Thanks for the tip!
@no-good-productions2 жыл бұрын
It's like calling out my cat for killing mice... you CAN'T explain it to them, they don't want to know nor can't understand how it is wrong. They literally view it as being smarter than every honest person, I swear.
@LSMH528Hz2 жыл бұрын
correct, they think they have the higher moral to abuse unsuspected victims. like the guy who suckerpunches some drunk in a bar and claims he's the best fighter. sometimes these kinds of people are found in a ditch somewhere.
@ashleyrussell90092 жыл бұрын
This makes so much sense. I remember thinking "Why would you lie about something so mundane?" It was so strange to me.
@romanbrandle319Ай бұрын
Expect to be assaulted physically, mentally and emotionally as they will argue that you are worse than them and thus have no right to judge them.
@youareworthit96632 жыл бұрын
It's fun to call them out. They would turn into toddlers who would throw a tantrum. They would also walk out or become passive aggressive. You would see how desperate they become to win at anything. They truly lack a sense of self-reflection. I feel like throwing up when I lie but for narcissists, it's just a normal part of their day.
@batswizzy62472 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you mean.
@joywebster26782 жыл бұрын
Be careful, I challenged a malignant narc whom i assumed was a plain narc about a lie and was suddenly flying backwards down a flight of stairs. I called to police who chose to believe his "she fell" story over my I was lifted and tossed. So from that I knew this was a top of the line malignant narcissist, not someone to "have fun calling them out". 2 years of grey rocking he discarded me. Yay.
@FutureFendiFsnista2 жыл бұрын
@@joywebster2678 omg...I'm so sorry that happened. That sounds truly terrifying. Glad that they are no longer in your life to cause you anymore harm.
@suesilva52522 жыл бұрын
Wow. I will never consider any part of this nightmare‘fun’.
@youareworthit96632 жыл бұрын
@@suesilva5252 I understand. What I meant by 'fun' was the degree of relationship I have with my narc. As I'm healing from the trauma, I'm trying to use humour to deal with my narc's lies. This isn't always the right route for everyone, just for me to cope with the trauma. It's always more important to be discerning as this may not be applicable to all types of narcissists.
@yvonne56572 жыл бұрын
When someone shows you who they are believe it! You don’t need to prove it.🙂✌️
@ashleyluna5444 Жыл бұрын
They get angry, focus on what you did wrong, and threaten to leave…… then eventually leave 🤷♀️
@debrarogerssilvey39094 ай бұрын
Or they get thrown out😮
@Zvynb2 жыл бұрын
they will deny, manipulate , turn the table on you and blame you
@paintedlady45892 жыл бұрын
Called my mom out on a couple of lies. She simply said "I don't remember". These lies happen just a few weeks apart and I called her out fairly quick. Mind you this woman can remember what she had on vacation five years ago for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I only talk to her about every 3-4 months now. Feels much better to not have to deal with her.
@joywebster26782 жыл бұрын
My mother at 91 gave up the I don't remember, and now ignores questions and topics she doesn't wish to answer. Just hangs up phone, ignores emails, sends another email back about the weather or a bird out the window. So no there is minimal contact.
@paintedlady45892 жыл бұрын
@Mary Carroll Yes it is confusing. Years ago at one point I thought maybe she was getting Alzheimer's. Then I caught on to her and realized she was doing this on purpose. It's beyond irritating. After a few other and bigger things she pulled I just decided to not have too much contact. Keeps me sane and happy.
@sharfalor42442 жыл бұрын
I started calling my mother out about things like hitting me hard round the back of my legs with a handful of rings (often for genuine questions that kids have). First she would try and make out that I was making things up. As my children got older she started pre empting my call outs and telling them that I am a liar and to pay no attention to me. Now she's turned to pity plays and starts crying whilst spitting out comments like 'Youre a nasty piece of work'. Shame and projection at work!
@paintedlady45892 жыл бұрын
@@sharfalor4244 Sorry about your situation. It does sound like she trying to pull something with your kids as well. Protect your kids and think about distancing from her. That could help you.
@sharfalor42442 жыл бұрын
@@paintedlady4589 the kids are adults now, most of her grandchildren don't make time for her, and she no doubt wonders why! I spend less and less time around her but part of me enjoys telling her exactly what kind of person she was/is now my father isn't around to demand no one upsets her, which most of us used to comply with to keep the peace, for the grandchildren rather than for her. It was really only after his death that we all started discussing what a disinterested, cold, uncaring dysfunctional mother she actually was. I recently ended a brief relationship with another covert narcissist and she told me how I'm a horrible person for not giving people much of a chance. I took the opportunity to tell her that NO, I no longer have to give anyone a chance to mess my life up, and if we hadn't been brought up with such a dysfunctional mindset than I could have avoided other horrible relationships. The positive is that she doesn't (and never did) visit any of us so I don't need to worry about her turning up on my doorstep.
@marcirobins51442 жыл бұрын
Whew Child! If you do call them out, and you will definitely do it, brace yourself. They will lie about the lie, and lie to prove themselves right. It’s a lie-a-palooza! Don’t expect resolution. The most they will do is back away when they realize they can’t control the situation. To call them out is advanced-level action. Save yourself and don’t make it a habit.
@nancythornton29472 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the chuckle. Lie a palooza. Absolutely. The gaslight starts.
@mommaseesall42702 жыл бұрын
"It’s a lie-a-palooza! " It sure is !! Thank you for the LOL
@michele03242 жыл бұрын
❤ "advance-level action". Sooo true!
@jeanetteshawredden56432 жыл бұрын
Marci I laughed. Very well said my dear! They are pure evil.
@onlyonce17076 ай бұрын
Sometimes it needs to be done but be prepared for them to go nuts.
@melonybanks56042 жыл бұрын
They deny, deflect, gaslight, stonewall, and then blame you.
@davidhuddleston1899 Жыл бұрын
The one time I called out my narcissist on a lie was the clearest example I've seen of narcissistic rage. Thankfully it didn't get physical, but it was definitely scary.
@silverflux76982 жыл бұрын
So true, you left out : some narcissists will actually leave their marriage, home and children in order to avoid admitting their lies.
@DaveFu2 жыл бұрын
They already know they've been lying. They're just waiting to see if you continue to put up with it and how much that may or may not inconvenience them in the future.
@user-sk9sp7pe4y2 жыл бұрын
boom
@dianerichards51352 жыл бұрын
Deny, deflect, rage, discard, silent treatment.
@chrissemenko628 Жыл бұрын
Mine lied about where he LIVED for gods sake!!!! That's what happens when you're foolish enough to get tangled up with one of these creatures online. I'm exhausted. I'm.BEYOND exhausted. I'm done. He doesn't deserve a heart like mine. Thanks, doc.
@texannadeb50052 жыл бұрын
When I called a narcissist out on a lie, he went into a rage and completely shifted to ranting about all the things he’d done for me and how grateful I should be. Half of the things he had never done for me and none had anything to do with the lie that was being addressed. I’ve since learned that charming and cute does not compensate for pathological lying and nothing he says is to be believed. The only answer to that is to go no contact. Hard, but being with a narcissistic liar is harder.
@lyn94152 жыл бұрын
Sounds like we might have been with the same person? Because this is always his reaction, word for word 😭
@JennySimon206 Жыл бұрын
Or more future faking. "I was going to put you on my will and leave you a house". I have been hearing that for a decade. Supposedly I was already in that position and u removed me. (doubt it). So why would I trust that if u put me in a will you wouldn't just remove me whenever u get mad or write another will that overrides it? Yeah, whatever dude. I don't trust or believe u.
@KristinaGraceDesigns Жыл бұрын
omg yes yes demanding that they be believed. .no I wasn't blowing kisses to anyone why would you think that...bc I recorded you doing it...no that's not what I was doing 😒
@kimberlylovellette51172 жыл бұрын
I actually taped a roll of toilet paper to my door. When narcissist knocked, I opened door. He said "Why is this on your door?" I said "For you to wipe off all the BS that is about to come out of your mouth!"😂 I thought it was funny, he didn't. Of course, I wasn't surprised.
@charlottecoolik98723 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 oh my God I love that
@d2609882 жыл бұрын
When dealing with the insincere abandon all forms of communication. Don't let them manipulate your reality.
@sherrym61535 ай бұрын
What happens when you call a narcissist out on a lie, they lie
@maryahharris1572 жыл бұрын
Yes. They have a lot af tools they have accumulated over time to use against anyone who opposes them. Let's not forget that they also use Shame/ blame, reverse psychology, false humility, and even jokes to disarm you with a charming fake persona or personality.
@frankydottir87622 жыл бұрын
Omg, yes! Reverse psychology and false humility!
@lovelylinda88912 жыл бұрын
@@frankydottir8762 Exactly!
@sandeeg80322 жыл бұрын
You are spot-on!!!!!!!!!!!
@mariakatrenarankin-maclean18162 жыл бұрын
How true
@bellaluce7088 Жыл бұрын
Ugh, yes to "...even jokes to disarm you with a charming fake persona or personality." 'Cause I so feel like laughing after having to call them out for the millionth time about carelessly hurting my feelings. >: - (
@sundribird.7772 жыл бұрын
With my ex I used to refer to this pattern as the 4D's... Deny, deflect, derail, and destroy. If he couldn't deny it (caught him in the moment), he would try to deflect it by blame shifting and making excuses. When that didn't work he'd then derail with word salad or emotional manipulation, or by just ranting long enough that I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. And if I hung on and continued to pull the conversation train back on track, he'd get angry and start picking me apart or hurling emotional damage at every button I had until something cracked. It took me 20 years of naming it and trying to point out the pattern to him (because obviouly any person who actually cared would change their behavior and be accountable, right? ) before I came across information from people like Doctor Ramani and really realized that the pattern would never change, because it was WORKING for him. You're not crazy, they really use these tactics again and again, and the only true solution is to walk away and set boundaries they cannot cross.
@nicolamills80032 жыл бұрын
Love the 4ds, thank you. 27 yrs here, 5 mths ago I found Dr ramani and realised he was a covert. FINALLY! I wasn't mad. It had a name and traits I could now see. So I tried... But now I have boundaries and not putting up with the baiting, he's called for a divorce. No problem mate!!
@sistergoldensunshine40692 жыл бұрын
Wow 4Ds. Yes. That perfectly describes the pattern /merry go round I endured as well. And I agree. I would try to explain the pattern thinking if he could see the toxic pattern, he would want to improve and change the behavior. HA! It’s up to us the change. First step, get out
@jeanetteshawredden56432 жыл бұрын
EXACTLY!!!
@KristinaGraceDesigns Жыл бұрын
this. all of it
@sreed5633 Жыл бұрын
Same here. I'm exhausted. Trying hard to keep focus on healing myself. God's peace to all.
@clemchirpich49072 жыл бұрын
They freak out big time. Really big freak out. Full blown rage. It was such a surprise and so overblown, that in that moment, I saw how desperate they were to be the one in control.
@onlyonce17076 ай бұрын
So true and yes desperate to be in control.
@Blueskies11802 жыл бұрын
Sometimes they’ll say they lied to “protect you” or “to protect your feelings so you wouldn’t get hurt”
@percystreet4 ай бұрын
Like when my wife texted me to say she was in a taxi returning from a business trip - then I found the photo she had taken (date/time-stamped) of her mate’s husband driving her in his two-seater sports car
@user-iu2yb7dd3d2 жыл бұрын
"Oh you're being too sensitive, that's not what I meant, you're actually the liar in this relationship!" That's basically what I would hear when I brought it up to her.
@chrissemenko628 Жыл бұрын
Just got told I'M the liar. These creatures are sick! Now my heart is too😢
@Soulplaya00710 ай бұрын
Or the "why are you always bringing up the past?"
@kerjnerm6812 жыл бұрын
“The biggest fools are the ones that fool themselves!” When you call out a narcissist on their lies or on anything in general just keep repeating this saying in your mind. It helps ground yourself and remind yourself that the narcissist is not just lying to you they are foolishly lying to themselves to maintain their false sense of importance and reality. They are the fool in the end and you are finding your strength to move forward and live that great life you so deserve.
@kellyholland81368 ай бұрын
They get mad that you are upset they lied to you once again and then proceeded to tell you everything they have done for you and how you don't appreciate them which has nothing to do with the issue at hand. It's so tiring. My heart aches.
@susanreinersuedahlАй бұрын
I remember when I was 35 and I had finally got irrefutable proof ( after decades of learning to cover up her loopholes) that my narc mother was lying and she still DENIED it! 😮 It really shocked me. It devolved our relationship. I knew at that point that no matter how much solid proof I would provide of her lying she wouldn't admit to her lying. I grieved the loss of trying to ever have a mutually respectful relationship and have distanced myself ever since.. That has been decades now.
@aoifeaylyamayze61092 жыл бұрын
My ex, a vulnerable narcissist, learned not to directly deny lying with me. What worked better for him was either attacking me, getting me on the defensive, or else setting up red herrings. During our divorce I asked him why he had lied to his own lawyer during our mediation about something that didn't matter. (That was the moment I realized he lied only because he enjoyed lying.) He responded by lying about our middle daughter, saying she had done something very worrisome. By this point I realized he was trying to distract me, but what he said was concerning enough that I had to check it out immediately, just to be sure. It got him out of that conversation. It reinforced to me that he couldn't care less about his own children and would quickly harm them, damaging their reputations and relationships with others, for his own convenience.
@87Strong2 жыл бұрын
Ugh that’s the worst part for me, as a mother. We cannot protect them. We’re accused of trying to keep thier kids from them out of spite. I grew up with no father and I wanted so bad for my child to have what I never did, I would give him way more leeway than anyone else in my life, I’d look at him boldface lie to me and let it go for the sake of our child, I’d cover his lies and absenteeism when it was convenient for him by lying to our child saying he got caught up at work etc. and really, all I did was hurt our child and help him/his image. Now he attempts to ruin my relationship with our child. No care or respect for all the years I took care alone, no care or regard for the importance of a mother/child bond. *I was NIEVE TO THINK THAT he would put his issues aside for his child.* and I pay the price for this naivety now. I’m glad you were able to realize early that they’ll never care about their kids/relationships with their kids, etc.
@karoshi22 жыл бұрын
@@87Strong Whew, sadly so true and seemingly common. Currently we're communicating with the CPS cc'ed. Suggested an additional afternoon with our daughter to my covert narc ex; she had asked for it. Ex denied. Next message, only hours later, she accused me of trying to alienate the kids from her. Didn't even read or remember what she just wrote. Next meeting with the CPS lady the latter advised to have that extra time to meet the kid's needs. We agreed, had it written down and signed. Same evening, cc'ing the same CPS lady: accusations of guilt tripping her. -_- Needless to say: she didn't hold word. First reduced the agreed time by half, then "forgot" the appointments. Not a single time they met. Our daughter was so disappointed she just yesterday cancelled that agreement on her own. It hurts so much to see that happen.
@aoifeaylyamayze61092 жыл бұрын
@@87Strong Sadly it wasn't early when I discovered that my husband had no love for his kids. I had never "lied" for my husband, but I had projected my own feelings onto him and rationalized some behavior, while being blind to a lot the was happening behind my back, intentionally hidden from me. I'd therefore assure my children that their daddy was a good man who loved them and was doing his best for them - none of which proved true. Meanwhile he and his parents took the kids on outings without me (because his parents, also narcs or, possibly, his mother is a sociopath, hated me enough to cancel these fun outings if I tried to come too), and spent the entire time bad-talking me, including outright lies, to the kids. They convinced them to believe things that the kids' own experiences of me directly contracted, and frightened the kids enough that they never told me what was happening. This persisted all my kids' lives, so far - over 25 years now. When the kids would treat me with disrespect or outright hatred and contempt, my husband would ignore it in front of me (encouraging it behind my back), claiming it was "normal" child behavior. He would not allow disciplining, counseling, or any other remedy I suggested. Only after he walked out in 2018, before child sharing started, did the kids start talking to me and telling me what had been happening. The constant message throughout their lives was that their father was a good man who loved them and whom they should honor and respect, while their mother was lying, hateful, lazy bitch, who could never be trusted and should be disobeyed, disregarded, and hated. We were starting to make improvements in our damaged relationships when the court-mandated child sharing started and the kids closed down again. I couldn't protect them and all their negative emotions, fears and insecurities ended up blamed on me. The sad irony is that saying anything against my ex to my children, even pointing out that his behavior was/is immoral and destructive and/or that he was lying, knowingly, about me, puts me at risk for being accused of "child alienation" and losing all custody, leaving their father sole custody. I have learned the hard way that staying in such a bad marriage for the sake of the children is a horrible mistake, but child sharing is almost as destructive. Escaping narcissists is really difficult.
@aoifeaylyamayze61092 жыл бұрын
@@karoshi2 That's horrible! Poor child! I found having all conversations through text or email really helped me, counteracting the constant gaslighting somewhat, but what can help the child whose parent is rejecting them like this?
@87Strong2 жыл бұрын
@@karoshi2 ugh. So heavy on my heart, you and LO don’t deserve it-nobody does. If a person rapes another person, they go to prison (mostly)…society doesn’t guilt the victims into perpetual abuse by forcing them to work together. Judges, courts, CPS, lawyers-nobody can keep narcs in check, I wish for children’s sake they would see this instead of forcing these dealings between victims and abusers they would CUT THE HEAD OFF (figuratively lol). Maybe that means supervised visits with narcissistic trained professionals always until adulthood. Whatever it takes to protect these kids. 🥺
@thesoapingllamas51312 жыл бұрын
My mom would lie and I would catch her out and then she would gaslight me into believing I was wrong. Long story short I decided not to have kids because I am scared I turn into my mom. I started recording our phone calls and saving messages. To prove I'm not crazy. It was so very tiring. I was so tired. My husband's mom and my mom are covert narcissistists. And we are just trying to survive on our own now.
@michelegray59702 жыл бұрын
If you can see through her crap then you will not be like her. If you really want kids have them. Recognizing how she is will make you an amazing mom. Don't allow her to control a life decision. Best of luck to you 💞
@greatgownsbeautifulgowns2 жыл бұрын
Your account sounds so very similar to mine. I also said I didn't want to have kids one of the reasons being that I didn't want to turn out like my mother and treat a kid like she treated me, the other reason is that I'm scared that I'll have my kids with a deadbeat like she did and be so miserable and take it out on my kid like she did. This is where the narc liar part comes in: I've REPEATEDLY told her why I do not want to have kids, YET more than several times she has asked me like she never heard me say it before and even said that I never told her before. She acts as if my answer to the question is some brand new revelation everytime I explained it and acts like she's a person whose never met me before asking me that question. Now I just refuse to repeat myself on the subject and I just tell her "I've already told you that". She knows that's an uncomfortable subject and I KNOW she brings it up on purpose, yet if I said that she'd deny it and act like I'm the crazy one.
@lexyiscloudy2 жыл бұрын
You and i must have had the same mom in another life. I do the exact same thing and she stays gaslighting me when i call her out. Even w proof it isnt enough :( . Wishing you the best on your healing journey 💜
@FaithFashionFinances2 жыл бұрын
I totally get it!!!! Thank you for sharing with us. You are not alone.
@-H4mburger-2 жыл бұрын
Whatever you want you can have it in your life but, first heal yourselves to make sure you are not coming from trauma bounding and codependency both you and your husband. I am just saying this as a reminder because growing up with narcissist parents are no joke.
@matthewcallaghan1512 Жыл бұрын
They are so good at lying one doubts their reality even when the truth is right in front of them
@andrewschultz6608 Жыл бұрын
"I'm too busy to remember that" is another one. Of course, these same people remember minor embarrassing details and grudges quite easily!
@moonwalker69382 жыл бұрын
"Nothing". they dont even flinch. Then, they see how they can use what you said to their advantage, flip blame, gaslight, become victim, etc.
@cynthia43322 жыл бұрын
I always tell my friend that her narcissistic ex-husband has Liabetes. He could never tell the truth about anything. She caught him in a huge lie and of course he got angry and turned it around on her, then he gave her a gift. It was a huge turning point for her, and lead to their divorce.
@Ytdeletesallmycomments2 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 liabetes
@jeanetteshawredden56432 жыл бұрын
Liabetes- good one!
@brigitconroy8306 Жыл бұрын
Spot on. Rage, and then finger pointing.
@cradlegrl Жыл бұрын
They blame everyone but themselves. Or turn it back on you some how. It is frustrating!!
@blueleaves2 жыл бұрын
Anytime i exposed a lie there was denial, deflection, and then we switched to something I did wrong many years ago. That game got old!
@jabreeyalove37072 жыл бұрын
This smfh
@Ytdeletesallmycomments2 жыл бұрын
Omg yes... I cheated.. Not true only on his big head 😂😂😂
@reginawatson14412 жыл бұрын
Oh my I thought I was the only one going through that. My ex narc will bring up things that happened in my early 20's. Now I'm in my 50's now. What do my pass have to do with you ( to the narc) have to do with your behavior.
@privatejen35902 жыл бұрын
When I finally had the courage to confront him on my suspicions, I was faced with a barrage of uncomfortable expressions from this mild-mannered and intellectual man. It was like the growl of a caged animal who was about to lunge at me. Since I had observed various shady moves during our times together, which I often let him wriggle his way out of because I put him on a pedestal, this shocking display of rage led me to take off the rose-tinted glasses (For months, I was overlooking his deceptions --cognitive dissonance and all that). That night, I had a disturbing dream. The next day, I decided it was no longer good for my well-being and began the slow process of releasing him. The next days, weeks and months were rough as I continued to be real and choose me.
@aoifeaylyamayze61092 жыл бұрын
Well done! Making such a change, in your perceptions and feelings as well as your situation, isn't easy. It took courage. Congratulations.
@ritahemmerly42242 жыл бұрын
I had a dream of my mother in her coffin as i got close a hand grabbed my arm!!! Woke up screaming! Kinda like the movie :Carrie!
@manjularamprasad39252 жыл бұрын
Such a big change its difficult but you are there...
@natluxton51612 жыл бұрын
I hear you, & did exactly the same. One day promised myself I'd give him one more chance, & if counselling didn't work, & he returned to his old ways, I was done. I stayed true to my self & left, but the aftermath has been challenging. I've had to totally block him from any form of contact, as the cycle kept continuing, despite me being in another country!!
@hedonismbot32742 жыл бұрын
Had a dream of a demon entering my house 5 min before her breakup call. Worst dream i had in 15 years.
@deannajenks3382 Жыл бұрын
I feel like I’m often fighting for my sanity and truth, living with a covert narcissist. So difficult!
@ifishineushine17 сағат бұрын
Catch them lying about something major, like an attack on your character or your personal history, instant no contact! There’s no looking back after that level of deceit. That relationship is now over and if you choose to stay, more abuse is guaranteed. I had enough and promised myself to never let someone put me down to make them feel better about themself. 💔
@michaelstewart40382 жыл бұрын
Whenever I confronted her about another lie, she would storm out. This behavior had become a habit. Whenever I tried to hold her accountable, she would leave. This would trigger my own abandonmet issues, and often, I would follow her out to her car apologizing, and pleading with her to stay. She would drive off and my world would come crashing down. When she realized how painful this abusive behavior was for me, it became an habitual pattern. The last time this happened was November 20 (my birthday), and I have been NC since then.
@sistergoldensunshine40692 жыл бұрын
The ex stonewalled me. Blank stare, silent treatment. If I commented about the silence, he would say “you wouldn’t listen anyway”
@elangkathirrajaa63002 жыл бұрын
More power to you bro
@savarm30192 жыл бұрын
Sounds like my situation, when I told him how it made me feel when he’d “bolt” because he didn’t want to have discussions…it happened more and he’d come back like nothing happened until I chose to stop the pattern. Took a year but therapy had helped me to see things for what they really were
@edwardhamaty63762 жыл бұрын
Ahhhh, the old birthday destruction trick...
@user-sk9sp7pe4y2 жыл бұрын
wow, sounds so familiar
@stargazer12382 жыл бұрын
When I called out my Narcissist he took revenge and had me in court for 7 years. In the end I won the case, with the judge admonishing him as he got caught lying in court and 10 years after that his church fired him. Eventually Narcissists hang themselves if you give them enough rope, so to speak. At this point in life, after dealing with a few Narcissists, I don't bother calling them out, I just take a mental note and keep my distance.
@julianndavis94152 жыл бұрын
His church fired him? Wow. Churches don’t fire anyone ever. For anything. He must be a real piece of work. Glad you’re out and you won.
@stargazer12382 жыл бұрын
@@julianndavis9415 They sure did and he had a high up position! He was at that church over 20 years, so whatever he did it was not good at all and than he sold his house months later and moved thousands of miles away! The church was his cover and supply, so he probably had to start over somewhere else where he could hoodwink new people who don't know him.
@julianndavis94152 жыл бұрын
@@stargazer1238 You almost want to warn ppl about them. But you can’t. 1) mental disorders aren’t against the law 2) their behavior is SO unbelievable it makes YOU sound crazy telling about it
@stargazer12382 жыл бұрын
@@julianndavis9415 Exactly!
@youtubename78192 жыл бұрын
I am acquainted with someone who is in school to become a therapist. He mentioned “narcissism is the only diagnosis I was taught not to share with the client. I really don’t know why.” Now I get it! It’s because even therapists are afraid of narc rage!
@alexkuamoo38745 ай бұрын
Who are these brave people who dare to confront narcissists? I’m sweating in anxiety just considering it.
@carilesli2 ай бұрын
Ooh I do.
@ellieramseyer22912 жыл бұрын
When confronted with a lie, the narc runs for the nearest exit because they know your on to them.
@beccacaram2 жыл бұрын
And because they are so vindictive, they will find a way to make you pay. When my husband finally called his sister out for her blatant lies, she started telling everyone he beat her as a child and she’s been scared of him her whole life and everything bad that’s ever happened to her in her whole life has been his fault, all the while calling him and leaving drunken, verbally abusive phone messages for him about what a piece of $#*+ he is….You can’t reason with unreasonable people and you can’t argue with crazy. If it’s worth the fall out, do what you gotta do. Just know they will come for you. But that’s what *blocking* was created for, in my opinion 😉
@KoolT2 жыл бұрын
And self defense classes for some.
@4tazmousetm5372 жыл бұрын
Yes. They will. Repeatedly.
@qtaromar19702 жыл бұрын
very vindictive. I went through it recently with a sister, she sees herself as this benevolent, nice, spiritual girl who goes on these outings to heal herself while she slanders the family and even accused a brother of abuse. First she accused him of molestation then it was verbal abuse then she went and said it was physical abuse and when i realized she was lying, i let her know it. Oh Boy, i sure got it LOL but what she did was set me free from her hoovering. She now gets her supply from Facebook followers and other venues...I have no contact with her and don't want her back in my life. Her lack of self awareness is unbelievable, everyone else is the problem, everyone else is the narcissist and she is always healing but the healing never ends and the rage comes out when confronted. Thanks to Dr Ramani i have realized she is a covert narcissist and for years we had these discard and hoover back and forth relationship. I can definitely say i am done.
@jonathanmugisha32822 жыл бұрын
What is blocking? I need to apply this strategy, but some explanation will help.
@jonathanmugisha32822 жыл бұрын
@Mary Carroll thanks for the prompt response. In my case we have child together, I’m not sure blocking would be suitable for my situation.
@user-yd2ol9fj2k2 жыл бұрын
They flip. And then attack, spin it around & go on a rant
@user-dj5vc9ce8w3 ай бұрын
They deny everything and they try to make it your fault or make it all sunshine and butterflies
@MelodyT782 жыл бұрын
Hes so comfortable lying. Even when presented with evidence, he denies it and is insistent. He then takes offense and turns it into how untrusting I am and how he is tired of dealing with it. Which then gives him yet another excuse to give me the silent treatment while he continues whatever lie. And he lies about everything. Even things I feel like that dont have to be lied about. Lying comes so natural to him, like breathing.
@KristinaGraceDesigns Жыл бұрын
omg they all have a handful of scripts that very slightly and they all pull from the same pile. 🎤 drop
@assyriaking Жыл бұрын
EXACTLY
@rit20095 Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@kebencian88 Жыл бұрын
I've just listened to this today and realizing my own abandonment issues. This man I have loved, taken back too many times, lies more often and more easily as he gets older. I make it easy by not confronting him...but yesterday I called out the lies of cheating, yet again, with photo evidence. Now, I'm being stonewalled, blocked, punished for "snooping". I know it's a blessing in disguise, but my heart still aches. These videos are a huge help to seeing that it will never work with a narcissist.
@MelodyT78 Жыл бұрын
i had to stop caring. i know not a healthy way of dealing BUT im in a situation with children etc. so i had to learn to eventually turn off my feelings for him. if i dont care then it doesn't hurt. i then started to notice he tried more to trigger me but i just shrug it off. i was legitimately going crazy and i had to flip a switch for myself and my children. the more hurt broken and "crazy" i was, the more he seemed to thrive. he got something out of it despite what he was telling me. i even used to see him smirk. used to turn my stomach. since i stopped giving in. he just retreats daily to HIS room (because i refuse to sleep with him for years because like i tell him, a person generally doesnt sleep with someone who is cruel to them. a prerequisite is usually basic human decency) i had to adapt to survive the situation he presented me
@sonukori87232 жыл бұрын
"They deny it, thanks for tuning in" 😂 I've also experienced skipping denial and going straight to rage devaluing me, "you, you, you", twisting my reality to attack me. The gaslighting mess Dr. Ramani referred to. I find these videos so comforting! And illuminating!!
@rit20095 Жыл бұрын
Same ....living with narc husband
@MegaMindyLou2 жыл бұрын
Today I avoided a huge gaslighting event because of your videos. You never can call out a lie, I’m new at just not even trying anymore and not feeling guilty about it. I started to have the argument in my head with this person. Then I knew family members would call and support the person and I argued with them. For about 10 min I gaslit myself. I put my phone down and just walked away and it was liberating. Thank you for all your time and attention to this very misunderstood dynamic and making these videos. I wish I would have learned it sooner.
@TAP-xs4ndАй бұрын
That’s how I realized I was married to a narcissistic husband. I was calling out his lies and he went into a denial, projection, deflection rage.
@ushere57912 жыл бұрын
my sister pulled a lie that was so egregious and hurtful to our parents that i called her on it. she stood there screaming at me in a complete rage and accusing me of being the liar...i was so used to it that i just stood there quietly and watched her rage and project...and, as i watched her spew, she formulated a completely new "reality" from whole cloth that suited her "little miss perfect" image better than the truth. and i thought, wow, is this what insanity looks like? and i was thankful beyond words that i am not like her. nope, not at all. and i'm thankful i saved my parents from her manipulation--she'd still be milking them today if i hadn't.
@Chahlie2 жыл бұрын
Last time I saw my sister I just passed her with a cheery greeting and I honestly thought she was going to come after me and tear my throat out. The rage is real. I have photos of her in a rage trying to get into my yard, and there's nothing she can do about it. It used to scare me, now it's hilarious :)
@gloriabult2967 Жыл бұрын
I payed my sister's way to Hawaii, she beat me up, threw me in the shower because she wanted to go out that night to meet up with a guy we met the night before in a bar and forced me to go out when I was tired from the night before. We had to take a bus home after a night in Vancouver. The bus stopped at a bus stop and we went inside, my sister was hungry as was I but I had no money to buy us any food. She told me to write a check but I could not because I had no money in my account. Then the bus driver announced 5 minutes until we leave...so I went to the bathroom, when I got back on the bus she was sitting there smearking at me, (I wondered what was going on because when I did not write the check for food she was very upset.) I looked around and noticed that my carry on bag was missing, I said to her, "where is my bag"? Again she just smearked at me a d never said a word. I ran off the bus, went down the first back alley I saw, looked behind a garbage can that was in a doorway, and there was my bag. I ran back on the bus huffing and sweating and she literally looked at me and giggled...tee hee hee!
@groundingx Жыл бұрын
"...formulated a completely new reality from whole cloth that suited her...image better than the truth." Wow and whew. I've witnessed this and it's stunning.
@leahb75772 жыл бұрын
Yes i remember when my ex wouldnt give me my key back and when he came to visit my son i saw it on his keychain. I called him out and he said it’s not and then said it was the key to the woman he cheated on me with’s house. He denied it to the point that he told me to try it on my door. Idk if he thought I wasn’t going to do it but I went grabbed the keys and sure enough it opened the lock to my door 🤦🏽♀️ even after that he still denied it and I took my key off of my keychain. I now have the ring doorbells at my house after some things happened afterwards…. But yessss they deny deny deny…. Even when they look stupid 🤦🏽♀️🙄
@luvyatubers2 жыл бұрын
And while our blood is boiling they feel happy and entertained instead of ashamed for getting caught. Liars are the scum on scum
@annabanana71522 жыл бұрын
LOL that’s funny, how dare you believe your own eyes that the key literally opened the door to your house 😂 and the fact HE invited you to open the door, seriously what did he think was gonna happen, that the DOOR believed his lies and the lock magically changed 😂😂
@leahb75772 жыл бұрын
@@annabanana7152 😂😂😂😂😂 seriously their lies are dumb once you’ve figured them out
@thebakedkorean2 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramani: “They deny it, thanks for watching!”😂😂🤭 Thank you for always providing such relatable easy to understand videos to get this important info out. A lot of people in pain with confused states of being unable to process what exactly is wrong. You provide hope and a light of assurance for us. Love your videos♥️♥️♥️
@petersassytruth30693 ай бұрын
OMG! Finally, someone honest enough to tell you the brutal truth and facts of the matter! Love you, Dr.
@MsMichelle77102 жыл бұрын
I cornered mine in a lie. There was literally no way to deny it. There was no way to spin it. He was sweating like he was menopausal. He was shaking and crying because he couldn’t lie to me and manipulate the truth. Maybe it makes me a bad person but I enjoyed seeing him crumble.
@chestnutrose1872 жыл бұрын
When I called out my ex, he denied it but I had rock solid proof. What did he do when I presented the proof? He denied the proof. That was it for me. Some of the gaslighting he used for control I fell for but that was the last straw. I no longer live with him. No more lies.
@georginafronda4963 ай бұрын
They deny, get anger, stuttering and reframe the truth and blame you. But with factual truth they still lie, it’s mind blowing…
@7w7-2 Жыл бұрын
I was 38 life was great, married to a woman who I would trust with my life and two kids nice house and good job… One Monday morning I had just arrived at work and my daughter phoned saying her mother had a stroke in the shower and they were waiting for a ambulance, she was only 34 years. She was in hospital for 6 weeks, she came home looked ok but was not good with things, I still worked but done all the shopping cooking and cleaning, after 3 months she returned to work and started socializing after work and returned to the gym. Her parents came to stay and I booked a night out with her, we parked the car and walked to the venue with her but she wouldn't walk with me, she wanted me to walk 5 feet in advance of her, I suspected there was something wrong.. I started looking into what she did when she went Out, most the gym classes didn't exist. one day on a Sunday she said she was going to a gym class and run out the door from upstairs, but my car was blocking hers in so she came back and ask me to move It, I could see she was wearing stockings under her gym wear. I followed her to the house of a young guy she worked with his wife worked Sundays they had a child his mother looked after and his wife was 6 months pregnant, she left after a big bust up on her return and we were divorced a year later. He left his wife and they set up home together. 18 months after she phoned to tell me she had chucked him out for hitting her and begged to return, I couldn't take her back I could never trust her again but had also found a new partner.. TO CATCH ANYONE RED HANDED HIRE Metaspyhub@gmail. com. THEY ARE SO SWIFT ACCURATE AND RELIABLE
@princesam72316 ай бұрын
Liar😂😂😂😂😂 scammer 😂😂😂😂😂 please don't fall for this lie😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Patience_by_Sara2 жыл бұрын
They get overly upset and deny. I love calling anyone out for lying, but it does give me joy to call narcs out and watch their behavior. Eventually, the narc will leave my orbit because I’ll keep calling them out. It’s actually the small lies that they forget about, are the lies I get them on and it’s often enough for the narc to get the hint and go away.
@metamarkusiamthatiam89832 жыл бұрын
OMG ~ once again to the point ~ insightful ~ appreciate all your sharing and understanding, it allows for Rapid Healing and is validating...
@troisyeax2 жыл бұрын
Agree 100%
@iNs0mN1a1980Ай бұрын
When I showed her proof, first she asked me why does it matter NOW because it happened 6 months prior (the AUDACITY!) and then she continued gaslighting and trying to get out of it, word salad etc. In the end I was the one guilty :)
@deniseclarke8580 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely true video again. This is really the main reason I had to leave, I couldn't believe a word he said and definitely no trust made it impossible to continue. He would lie about anything and everything, things that were just not even possible. He vanished for 4 days, when hereturned I found a bus ticket by the bed. I asked why he had gone there. He went Absolutely crazy, screaming and shouting. A day later he apologised and said "It's a new hobby of mine to collect bus tickets and I found this one on the table in a pub". Yes I was gobsmacked. Later I found out his new supply lived in the town he visited. It's not the lies I found offensive It's the fact he thinks I'm stupid enough to believe them.
@tinkwinkles2 жыл бұрын
I have just learned of my adult daughters lies and it would seem she's following the path of my narc mother. 😪 I don't think I'll call it out. I'm planning on walking away.
@missyscarborough13012 жыл бұрын
Oh, so whoever coined the phrase “you sit on a throne of lies” was speaking to a narcissist?
@Mel-ky1bm2 жыл бұрын
He is always in denial of almost everything even if you have a very clear proof of his actions.
@eddiemarden9150 Жыл бұрын
Even with the proof right in front of them it is truly amazing
@JoelC62202 жыл бұрын
They explode and react as expected. To a Narc, they never lie. They convince themselves their version of anything is THE correct version. This is fundamental to hold up their fragile emotional foundations. They also never apologize and rarely say “thank you”…because you should thank them for, “…all they do for you”. I am a medical professional who lived w a Narc for 30 years. It was brutal!
@ozgurtoraman9802 жыл бұрын
Better put
@JoelC62202 жыл бұрын
Addendum: all the videos and audio recordings of the Narc rages (I have many) will never convince the Narc it is “their problem”. The Narc will only tell her flying monkey “friends” YOU are the pathology for recording them, and the recordings cannot usually be admitted as evidence in your divorce proceeding. Just get out and save yourself…AND…get professional support to help you through this very difficult process in your life.
@Pozativ12 жыл бұрын
Facts
@hemantkulkarni91482 жыл бұрын
Join the group Joel. Ditto...
@iRockbeauty2 жыл бұрын
What happens? They deflect and throw a tantrum.
@perfectpeace123 Жыл бұрын
When you call out a narcissist they deflect,blame, and deny.
@ronaldlee35372 жыл бұрын
The good doctor is spot on in every point. Narcissists seems to all read from the same playbook.
@milla64342 жыл бұрын
I think the importance of keeping your personal information away from someone who will happily distort reality and spread falsehoods can't be overstated. Their hitting you with a mix of lies and factual leverage can really keep you off balance and will at least temporarily convince others that they are credible. In my experience, a lot of people are eager to believe negative things about someone coming from the mouth of a person with a soft, carefully controlled presentation and while it's a nice idea to be able to just ignore these things, when money's involved and your reputation is currency, they really, really do mean a lot. I think that someone telling lies especially when they know you know the're lying is a huge red alert to lock your personal information, your work, and your reputation down as best as you can. (edited for grammar)
@tamrieoliver13812 жыл бұрын
When I would call my ex out on a lie they would tell me I’m overreacting, then tell me they wouldn’t have to lie if I didn’t get so mad about things when he would tell me about it. Lol gaslighting at its finest.
@DJSHIREEN2 жыл бұрын
Happened to me.last night . I was dumb to expect, apology n shame n lil self reflection. But I was told , just because I thing something is wrong, doesn't become wrong . Also I was called a psycho . N topics were changed. But I got back to the point . N when they had no solution.i was asked to leave cz my presence suffocated them ..... but no one took accountability
@shailjatripathi58692 жыл бұрын
Let goodness in us destroy all narcissm from this world.Thanks to our healer Mam,Ramani.
@milla64342 жыл бұрын
The lies are so willful, I don't bother saying anything unless they're misinforming someone in a way that would somehow do more harm if I didn't say something. I told my boss that I had created a worksheet to replace a horribly outdated one and that I'd passed it along to a new employee as part of their training. Just days later, when this boss was giving glowing praise to the same employee in front of our team (it was embarrassing because most of us knew it was the supervisors' uncomfortable objective to inflate the egos of new employees in our dept), he credited the employee with creating the workbook I had given to him and the employee gleefully accepted the praise without hesitation. In that moment, I knew I was being flipped the bird and that at least one employee would happily lie for this man's approval. Again, I assume their lies are just a way for me to learn about them and whoever eats the lies up or goes along with them knowing that what's being said isn't true. The lies are also a really gross way to flex when they know it's not worth it to you to confront them because it's highly unlikely anyone would care much less do anything about it and if anyone of consequence did, the liar would take you to the mat to convince the audience you were the liar or that it was a simple misunderstanding when it was completely intentional.
@CP-pe9ul2 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you are talking about, this seems to be endemic in the workplace; This behaviour, however, serves to alert you about who you need to "manage".
@tracydanneo2 жыл бұрын
Nothing lower than a worksheet thief.
@milla64342 жыл бұрын
@@tracydanneo It actually wasn't so much about my not getting public credit for the worksheet/workbook. I'm uncomfortably used to my contributions being taken for granted and management going so far as to not want me to discuss projects I'm working on in front of our dept. It was about my doing something small and thoughtful for an employee in attempts to set a positive trend and that being commandeered and turned into part of some weird scheme to convince our dept of something that wasn't true. Also, that this small contribution was something they could easily ignore from me, but was worthy of praising another employee for. I've been acutely aware of a disparity for a long time in how I'm treated vs other personnel, but this was one of those wtf moments where I was having my nose shoved in the fact that the truth was negotiable and I had no rights to it.
@lindsayomama34812 жыл бұрын
@@milla6434 You sound really healthy about all this. "Truth is negotiable and I had no rights to it" is so aptly put, and demonstrates your thorough understanding of all this bs. It's flexing, exactly as you said. They tend to flex most on those who know their stupid game, and see right through them. Make sure you keep that sanity. I worked in an environment so toxic that our director turned over our small 12-person staff, constantly (almost everyone turned over in the 9mos I was there). She made one employee have a nervous breakdown and have to be removed from the office screaming, "We were all abused children, and she is like our abusive parent..." while the sickest among us snickered. It was a wake up call for my sanity. I was horrified, and left a month later. You sound like you really have a grip on the subtle sickness going on at work; please keep guard of your well being!
@SC-gp7kt2 жыл бұрын
I've experienced something similar in my workplace too, I totally get it. I only say something if it will affect my performance review, and I have to let the rest slide so as not to cause a worse situation for myself. I guess be thankful for the clarity on who now to be weary of. You must cya at every turn and don't get close to these people.
@brookea5182 жыл бұрын
It’s like they don’t even consider the question, they just deny it like it’s second nature. Omg I thought I was going crazy at all the denials!
@cassiebennet426211 ай бұрын
It's suddenly "none of my business." 😂
@rishabhtripathi38593 ай бұрын
They scream and shout to shut you up.
@travisschwarzkopf55772 жыл бұрын
They attack to put you on the defense. Then they accuse you of what they're doing. Then once you're defending yourself they are free of having to confront their lying.
@arlenevaldivia79122 жыл бұрын
It’s not worth arguing as they will continue to lie and question your reality.