DENY! DENY! DENY! They literally will do anything but take accountability for their actions, its sad.

They blow up, gaslight, and victim blame.

They usually deny it, act extremely dramatic, and start yelling. They even lie about something they said only 30 seconds ago.

They SCREAM at you while denying it!!!

From my own past experiences of catching narcissists lying, I have noticed that they find a way to blame you for it. Before you even realize it, you are defending yourself and trying to prove to them that you haven't done anything wrong.

In their minds, they are above consequences and will NEVER admit to a lie, or the lies that followed to support the original lie. I just ended a two year relationship because of a lie that was told at the beginning, and subsequently followed us around for the remainder of our relationship, decimating all trust and intimacy. The most puzzling part is that instead of admitting to the lie, acknowledging that it was a poor choice, and sincerely apologizing, a narcissist would rather burn the whole thing down and feign victimhood.

The first thing they do is call you crazy

They deny it, explode, accuse you of insulting them, and double down

"I never said that." Heard it over, and over, and over, and over again.

They get all self-righteous, and then they get pissy. It's part of their make-up and once you figure it out, you will never trust them again. There is no relationship with a narcissist.

Deny, get angry, blame you or others. Then they run.

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

When you call a narcissist out on a lie they deny and bring up vulnerabilities you’ve shared with them.

"What happens when you call a narcissist out on a lie?" They recruit flying monkeys to help them rewrite history and character assassinate their victim.

There’s just no point in going any further with someone when we’ve discovered they’ve been lying to us. Trust is totally destroyed! Thank you Dr. Ramani

They deny it and then call you a liar

When I called out my vulnerable/covert narcissist ex for lying, this was his pattern: 1. Angry denial 2. Diverting to a (not-at-all-related) topic he felt victimized about 3. Gas-lighting me I loved this man, and put years into working on this baffling, exhausting relationship. Dr. Ramani, you have saved my sanity and my life with your videos. I’m so grateful to you. ♥ It's Week 2 of No Contact. Thanks, too, to this kind community. I wish all of us healing and harmony. ♥

"What happens when you call a narcissist out on a lie?" Reactions may include, but aren't limited to: shame, denial, reverse victim and offender, word salad, and/or rage.

They double-down and say, "I never lied!..." And other forms of gaslighting

What happens when you confront a lier for lying? They lie!

I did an experiment to see what it looked like when he lied. I discovered undeniable evidence and 100% proof of something he did. I then asked him if he did it and observed his facial expression, eye movements, body language, voice, words, etc. when he denied it. At that moment, I knew I had to get him out of my life because they were familiar signs. It took a year to safely get him out, but in the mean time, every time that he showed those behaviors I knew for certain he was telling a lie. It was frequent. I felt empowered by knowing the truth.

It's like calling out my cat for killing mice... you CAN'T explain it to them, they don't want to know nor can't understand how it is wrong. They literally view it as being smarter than every honest person, I swear.

This makes so much sense. I remember thinking "Why would you lie about something so mundane?" It was so strange to me.

Expect to be assaulted physically, mentally and emotionally as they will argue that you are worse than them and thus have no right to judge them.

It's fun to call them out. They would turn into toddlers who would throw a tantrum. They would also walk out or become passive aggressive. You would see how desperate they become to win at anything. They truly lack a sense of self-reflection. I feel like throwing up when I lie but for narcissists, it's just a normal part of their day.

When someone shows you who they are believe it! You don’t need to prove it.🙂✌️

They get angry, focus on what you did wrong, and threaten to leave…… then eventually leave 🤷‍♀️

they will deny, manipulate , turn the table on you and blame you

Called my mom out on a couple of lies. She simply said "I don't remember". These lies happen just a few weeks apart and I called her out fairly quick. Mind you this woman can remember what she had on vacation five years ago for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I only talk to her about every 3-4 months now. Feels much better to not have to deal with her.

Whew Child! If you do call them out, and you will definitely do it, brace yourself. They will lie about the lie, and lie to prove themselves right. It’s a lie-a-palooza! Don’t expect resolution. The most they will do is back away when they realize they can’t control the situation. To call them out is advanced-level action. Save yourself and don’t make it a habit.

They deny, deflect, gaslight, stonewall, and then blame you.

The one time I called out my narcissist on a lie was the clearest example I've seen of narcissistic rage. Thankfully it didn't get physical, but it was definitely scary.

So true, you left out : some narcissists will actually leave their marriage, home and children in order to avoid admitting their lies.

They already know they've been lying. They're just waiting to see if you continue to put up with it and how much that may or may not inconvenience them in the future.

Deny, deflect, rage, discard, silent treatment.

Mine lied about where he LIVED for gods sake!!!! That's what happens when you're foolish enough to get tangled up with one of these creatures online. I'm exhausted. I'm.BEYOND exhausted. I'm done. He doesn't deserve a heart like mine. Thanks, doc.

When I called a narcissist out on a lie, he went into a rage and completely shifted to ranting about all the things he’d done for me and how grateful I should be. Half of the things he had never done for me and none had anything to do with the lie that was being addressed. I’ve since learned that charming and cute does not compensate for pathological lying and nothing he says is to be believed. The only answer to that is to go no contact. Hard, but being with a narcissistic liar is harder.

I actually taped a roll of toilet paper to my door. When narcissist knocked, I opened door. He said "Why is this on your door?" I said "For you to wipe off all the BS that is about to come out of your mouth!"😂 I thought it was funny, he didn't. Of course, I wasn't surprised.

When dealing with the insincere abandon all forms of communication. Don't let them manipulate your reality.

What happens when you call a narcissist out on a lie, they lie

Yes. They have a lot af tools they have accumulated over time to use against anyone who opposes them. Let's not forget that they also use Shame/ blame, reverse psychology, false humility, and even jokes to disarm you with a charming fake persona or personality.

With my ex I used to refer to this pattern as the 4D's... Deny, deflect, derail, and destroy. If he couldn't deny it (caught him in the moment), he would try to deflect it by blame shifting and making excuses. When that didn't work he'd then derail with word salad or emotional manipulation, or by just ranting long enough that I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. And if I hung on and continued to pull the conversation train back on track, he'd get angry and start picking me apart or hurling emotional damage at every button I had until something cracked. It took me 20 years of naming it and trying to point out the pattern to him (because obviouly any person who actually cared would change their behavior and be accountable, right? ) before I came across information from people like Doctor Ramani and really realized that the pattern would never change, because it was WORKING for him. You're not crazy, they really use these tactics again and again, and the only true solution is to walk away and set boundaries they cannot cross.

They freak out big time. Really big freak out. Full blown rage. It was such a surprise and so overblown, that in that moment, I saw how desperate they were to be the one in control.

Sometimes they’ll say they lied to “protect you” or “to protect your feelings so you wouldn’t get hurt”

"Oh you're being too sensitive, that's not what I meant, you're actually the liar in this relationship!" That's basically what I would hear when I brought it up to her.

“The biggest fools are the ones that fool themselves!” When you call out a narcissist on their lies or on anything in general just keep repeating this saying in your mind. It helps ground yourself and remind yourself that the narcissist is not just lying to you they are foolishly lying to themselves to maintain their false sense of importance and reality. They are the fool in the end and you are finding your strength to move forward and live that great life you so deserve.

They get mad that you are upset they lied to you once again and then proceeded to tell you everything they have done for you and how you don't appreciate them which has nothing to do with the issue at hand. It's so tiring. My heart aches.

I remember when I was 35 and I had finally got irrefutable proof ( after decades of learning to cover up her loopholes) that my narc mother was lying and she still DENIED it! 😮 It really shocked me. It devolved our relationship. I knew at that point that no matter how much solid proof I would provide of her lying she wouldn't admit to her lying. I grieved the loss of trying to ever have a mutually respectful relationship and have distanced myself ever since.. That has been decades now.

My ex, a vulnerable narcissist, learned not to directly deny lying with me. What worked better for him was either attacking me, getting me on the defensive, or else setting up red herrings. During our divorce I asked him why he had lied to his own lawyer during our mediation about something that didn't matter. (That was the moment I realized he lied only because he enjoyed lying.) He responded by lying about our middle daughter, saying she had done something very worrisome. By this point I realized he was trying to distract me, but what he said was concerning enough that I had to check it out immediately, just to be sure. It got him out of that conversation. It reinforced to me that he couldn't care less about his own children and would quickly harm them, damaging their reputations and relationships with others, for his own convenience.

My mom would lie and I would catch her out and then she would gaslight me into believing I was wrong. Long story short I decided not to have kids because I am scared I turn into my mom. I started recording our phone calls and saving messages. To prove I'm not crazy. It was so very tiring. I was so tired. My husband's mom and my mom are covert narcissistists. And we are just trying to survive on our own now.

They are so good at lying one doubts their reality even when the truth is right in front of them

"I'm too busy to remember that" is another one. Of course, these same people remember minor embarrassing details and grudges quite easily!

"Nothing". they dont even flinch. Then, they see how they can use what you said to their advantage, flip blame, gaslight, become victim, etc.

I always tell my friend that her narcissistic ex-husband has Liabetes. He could never tell the truth about anything. She caught him in a huge lie and of course he got angry and turned it around on her, then he gave her a gift. It was a huge turning point for her, and lead to their divorce.

Spot on. Rage, and then finger pointing.

They blame everyone but themselves. Or turn it back on you some how. It is frustrating!!

Anytime i exposed a lie there was denial, deflection, and then we switched to something I did wrong many years ago. That game got old!

When I finally had the courage to confront him on my suspicions, I was faced with a barrage of uncomfortable expressions from this mild-mannered and intellectual man. It was like the growl of a caged animal who was about to lunge at me. Since I had observed various shady moves during our times together, which I often let him wriggle his way out of because I put him on a pedestal, this shocking display of rage led me to take off the rose-tinted glasses (For months, I was overlooking his deceptions --cognitive dissonance and all that). That night, I had a disturbing dream. The next day, I decided it was no longer good for my well-being and began the slow process of releasing him. The next days, weeks and months were rough as I continued to be real and choose me.

I feel like I’m often fighting for my sanity and truth, living with a covert narcissist. So difficult!

Catch them lying about something major, like an attack on your character or your personal history, instant no contact! There’s no looking back after that level of deceit. That relationship is now over and if you choose to stay, more abuse is guaranteed. I had enough and promised myself to never let someone put me down to make them feel better about themself. 💔

Whenever I confronted her about another lie, she would storm out. This behavior had become a habit. Whenever I tried to hold her accountable, she would leave. This would trigger my own abandonmet issues, and often, I would follow her out to her car apologizing, and pleading with her to stay. She would drive off and my world would come crashing down. When she realized how painful this abusive behavior was for me, it became an habitual pattern. The last time this happened was November 20 (my birthday), and I have been NC since then.

When I called out my Narcissist he took revenge and had me in court for 7 years. In the end I won the case, with the judge admonishing him as he got caught lying in court and 10 years after that his church fired him. Eventually Narcissists hang themselves if you give them enough rope, so to speak. At this point in life, after dealing with a few Narcissists, I don't bother calling them out, I just take a mental note and keep my distance.

Who are these brave people who dare to confront narcissists? I’m sweating in anxiety just considering it.

When confronted with a lie, the narc runs for the nearest exit because they know your on to them.

And because they are so vindictive, they will find a way to make you pay. When my husband finally called his sister out for her blatant lies, she started telling everyone he beat her as a child and she’s been scared of him her whole life and everything bad that’s ever happened to her in her whole life has been his fault, all the while calling him and leaving drunken, verbally abusive phone messages for him about what a piece of $#*+ he is….You can’t reason with unreasonable people and you can’t argue with crazy. If it’s worth the fall out, do what you gotta do. Just know they will come for you. But that’s what *blocking* was created for, in my opinion 😉

They flip. And then attack, spin it around & go on a rant

They deny everything and they try to make it your fault or make it all sunshine and butterflies

Hes so comfortable lying. Even when presented with evidence, he denies it and is insistent. He then takes offense and turns it into how untrusting I am and how he is tired of dealing with it. Which then gives him yet another excuse to give me the silent treatment while he continues whatever lie. And he lies about everything. Even things I feel like that dont have to be lied about. Lying comes so natural to him, like breathing.

"They deny it, thanks for tuning in" 😂 I've also experienced skipping denial and going straight to rage devaluing me, "you, you, you", twisting my reality to attack me. The gaslighting mess Dr. Ramani referred to. I find these videos so comforting! And illuminating!!

Today I avoided a huge gaslighting event because of your videos. You never can call out a lie, I’m new at just not even trying anymore and not feeling guilty about it. I started to have the argument in my head with this person. Then I knew family members would call and support the person and I argued with them. For about 10 min I gaslit myself. I put my phone down and just walked away and it was liberating. Thank you for all your time and attention to this very misunderstood dynamic and making these videos. I wish I would have learned it sooner.

That’s how I realized I was married to a narcissistic husband. I was calling out his lies and he went into a denial, projection, deflection rage.

my sister pulled a lie that was so egregious and hurtful to our parents that i called her on it. she stood there screaming at me in a complete rage and accusing me of being the liar...i was so used to it that i just stood there quietly and watched her rage and project...and, as i watched her spew, she formulated a completely new "reality" from whole cloth that suited her "little miss perfect" image better than the truth. and i thought, wow, is this what insanity looks like? and i was thankful beyond words that i am not like her. nope, not at all. and i'm thankful i saved my parents from her manipulation--she'd still be milking them today if i hadn't.

Yes i remember when my ex wouldnt give me my key back and when he came to visit my son i saw it on his keychain. I called him out and he said it’s not and then said it was the key to the woman he cheated on me with’s house. He denied it to the point that he told me to try it on my door. Idk if he thought I wasn’t going to do it but I went grabbed the keys and sure enough it opened the lock to my door 🤦🏽‍♀️ even after that he still denied it and I took my key off of my keychain. I now have the ring doorbells at my house after some things happened afterwards…. But yessss they deny deny deny…. Even when they look stupid 🤦🏽‍♀️🙄

Dr Ramani: “They deny it, thanks for watching!”😂😂🤭 Thank you for always providing such relatable easy to understand videos to get this important info out. A lot of people in pain with confused states of being unable to process what exactly is wrong. You provide hope and a light of assurance for us. Love your videos♥️♥️♥️

OMG! Finally, someone honest enough to tell you the brutal truth and facts of the matter! Love you, Dr.

I cornered mine in a lie. There was literally no way to deny it. There was no way to spin it. He was sweating like he was menopausal. He was shaking and crying because he couldn’t lie to me and manipulate the truth. Maybe it makes me a bad person but I enjoyed seeing him crumble.

When I called out my ex, he denied it but I had rock solid proof. What did he do when I presented the proof? He denied the proof. That was it for me. Some of the gaslighting he used for control I fell for but that was the last straw. I no longer live with him. No more lies.

They deny, get anger, stuttering and reframe the truth and blame you. But with factual truth they still lie, it’s mind blowing…

I was 38 life was great, married to a woman who I would trust with my life and two kids nice house and good job… One Monday morning I had just arrived at work and my daughter phoned saying her mother had a stroke in the shower and they were waiting for a ambulance, she was only 34 years. She was in hospital for 6 weeks, she came home looked ok but was not good with things, I still worked but done all the shopping cooking and cleaning, after 3 months she returned to work and started socializing after work and returned to the gym. Her parents came to stay and I booked a night out with her, we parked the car and walked to the venue with her but she wouldn't walk with me, she wanted me to walk 5 feet in advance of her, I suspected there was something wrong.. I started looking into what she did when she went Out, most the gym classes didn't exist. one day on a Sunday she said she was going to a gym class and run out the door from upstairs, but my car was blocking hers in so she came back and ask me to move It, I could see she was wearing stockings under her gym wear. I followed her to the house of a young guy she worked with his wife worked Sundays they had a child his mother looked after and his wife was 6 months pregnant, she left after a big bust up on her return and we were divorced a year later. He left his wife and they set up home together. 18 months after she phoned to tell me she had chucked him out for hitting her and begged to return, I couldn't take her back I could never trust her again but had also found a new partner.. TO CATCH ANYONE RED HANDED HIRE Metaspyhub@gmail. com. THEY ARE SO SWIFT ACCURATE AND RELIABLE

They get overly upset and deny. I love calling anyone out for lying, but it does give me joy to call narcs out and watch their behavior. Eventually, the narc will leave my orbit because I’ll keep calling them out. It’s actually the small lies that they forget about, are the lies I get them on and it’s often enough for the narc to get the hint and go away.

OMG ~ once again to the point ~ insightful ~ appreciate all your sharing and understanding, it allows for Rapid Healing and is validating...

When I showed her proof, first she asked me why does it matter NOW because it happened 6 months prior (the AUDACITY!) and then she continued gaslighting and trying to get out of it, word salad etc. In the end I was the one guilty :)

Absolutely true video again. This is really the main reason I had to leave, I couldn't believe a word he said and definitely no trust made it impossible to continue. He would lie about anything and everything, things that were just not even possible. He vanished for 4 days, when hereturned I found a bus ticket by the bed. I asked why he had gone there. He went Absolutely crazy, screaming and shouting. A day later he apologised and said "It's a new hobby of mine to collect bus tickets and I found this one on the table in a pub". Yes I was gobsmacked. Later I found out his new supply lived in the town he visited. It's not the lies I found offensive It's the fact he thinks I'm stupid enough to believe them.

I have just learned of my adult daughters lies and it would seem she's following the path of my narc mother. 😪 I don't think I'll call it out. I'm planning on walking away.

Oh, so whoever coined the phrase “you sit on a throne of lies” was speaking to a narcissist?

He is always in denial of almost everything even if you have a very clear proof of his actions.

Even with the proof right in front of them it is truly amazing

They explode and react as expected. To a Narc, they never lie. They convince themselves their version of anything is THE correct version. This is fundamental to hold up their fragile emotional foundations. They also never apologize and rarely say “thank you”…because you should thank them for, “…all they do for you”. I am a medical professional who lived w a Narc for 30 years. It was brutal!

What happens? They deflect and throw a tantrum.

When you call out a narcissist they deflect,blame, and deny.

The good doctor is spot on in every point. Narcissists seems to all read from the same playbook.

I think the importance of keeping your personal information away from someone who will happily distort reality and spread falsehoods can't be overstated. Their hitting you with a mix of lies and factual leverage can really keep you off balance and will at least temporarily convince others that they are credible. In my experience, a lot of people are eager to believe negative things about someone coming from the mouth of a person with a soft, carefully controlled presentation and while it's a nice idea to be able to just ignore these things, when money's involved and your reputation is currency, they really, really do mean a lot. I think that someone telling lies especially when they know you know the're lying is a huge red alert to lock your personal information, your work, and your reputation down as best as you can. (edited for grammar)

When I would call my ex out on a lie they would tell me I’m overreacting, then tell me they wouldn’t have to lie if I didn’t get so mad about things when he would tell me about it. Lol gaslighting at its finest.

Let goodness in us destroy all narcissm from this world.Thanks to our healer Mam,Ramani.

The lies are so willful, I don't bother saying anything unless they're misinforming someone in a way that would somehow do more harm if I didn't say something. I told my boss that I had created a worksheet to replace a horribly outdated one and that I'd passed it along to a new employee as part of their training. Just days later, when this boss was giving glowing praise to the same employee in front of our team (it was embarrassing because most of us knew it was the supervisors' uncomfortable objective to inflate the egos of new employees in our dept), he credited the employee with creating the workbook I had given to him and the employee gleefully accepted the praise without hesitation. In that moment, I knew I was being flipped the bird and that at least one employee would happily lie for this man's approval. Again, I assume their lies are just a way for me to learn about them and whoever eats the lies up or goes along with them knowing that what's being said isn't true. The lies are also a really gross way to flex when they know it's not worth it to you to confront them because it's highly unlikely anyone would care much less do anything about it and if anyone of consequence did, the liar would take you to the mat to convince the audience you were the liar or that it was a simple misunderstanding when it was completely intentional.

It’s like they don’t even consider the question, they just deny it like it’s second nature. Omg I thought I was going crazy at all the denials!

It's suddenly "none of my business." 😂

They scream and shout to shut you up.

They attack to put you on the defense. Then they accuse you of what they're doing. Then once you're defending yourself they are free of having to confront their lying.

It’s not worth arguing as they will continue to lie and question your reality.