Thanks for listing these 10 points 👍

Thank you

Thank you!

Thanks my ADD needed the list lol

I can't even IMAGINE #9 !

Agreed. That used to be me playing the victim. I’m much better now at 60 years old but it took so long. We are works in progress. Stay strong.

I like that one.

You're so right I did that so many times and and you know what it was a wasted energy because the people that won't apologize or give fake apologies which most NPD people do their fake they don't mean anything so don't worry about it they are so not worth it they have no empathy how can they apologize for real think about it right

"A true apology is changed behavior" Those with NPD just give lip service on apologies they don't mean them with the exception of they are sorry they got caught not for anything else. We have to make our own closure because a narcisist will not give any closure due to the fact they don't want any closure they want to do their best to keep their foot in the door keeping that door open. An apology that a narcisist makes is as fake as the I love you's they've said.

It’s all Happening loud and clear now 🎉

That's a wonderful moment. What a great reward for getting outside and going for a walk. Thank you for sharing. Julie@TeamFairy

I so relate to that feeling and i am sorry you go through that. I think the reason we 'beat ourselves up' is to keep others from doing it first, so they don't have to. What i've learned from the Crappy Childhood Fairy is our brains want the predictable. and that our brains are hardwired to keep us from pain. It hurts less being beat up by our 'self' than by someone close to us. If that person is 'prickly' to be with and has hurtful messages about you, we take on that message to still be under their wing. to reject what they say about us means we'll be left alone. As kids we can't take that so we agree with their negative labels to keep connected with them. Kids blame themselves for what goes wrong, our brain has to make sense of the illogical, and its illogical when parents emotionally ditch their kids. Maybe if we agree with them they'll calm down, and see we're not so bad, and we can get back together and go on with life. We can help 'fix' this disconnection if we beat ourselves up. and show loyalty to them who beat us up. We're trying to stay 'limbically attuned" to our connective main person, by sharing what they feel; rage, at us. Crappy Childhood Fairy talks about limbic attunement, which has meant so much to me. A great example of how this works is the Still Face Experiment on KZfaq. To take it one step further in a way that maybe applies to you, what if mom actually got MAD at baby and then "Still - Faced" baby? and never returned? Crappy Childhood Fairy said something else that helped me a ton, that our brains are wired to protect us from hurt. Like we don't want to get a sliver in our finger or cut off our leg, our brains tell us when something isn't good for us to keep us from hurt. What if you're a little kid and your parent whom you need does this? rages at you? goes overboard in 'disciplining' you? freaks out and inordinately dumps rage on you? beats you up either emotionally or physically? they're not owning their own stuff, and they slosh over onto you, as a kid, whose job it is NOT to deal with adult issues for someone else? That's a parent's job to captain the ship. I would ask, is there alcoholism in your family tree? i think this tendency to feel like crap/feel good enough to show up for life is an alcoholic tendency which can pass down through generations even when later generations don't drink. People learn to slosh their bad water all over someone else to carry, thinking this is loyalty if they carry it for them, which is a weird alternative to healthy empathy which is necessary for people to get through hard times by sharing hard times with people close to you, which is what healthy families do, workplaces do and social organizations do. talking things out, feeling empathy. A Christian example is the angel who stayed with Christ during his atonement in Gethsemane. The worst thing is being alone, thats why solitary confinement is the worst punishment. As almost as a badge of loyalty we carry our connected person's bad water, thinking, "if they see im hurting too, if they see i'll take their abuse, and stay with them, they'll wake up and see me. if i show them i understand them, maybe they'll understand me, and we'll get back together and have life like normal", so we carry on, because we don't know what else to do but hope. If they have hurtful messages about us, we can either agree or disagree, but to disagree means to disconnect, and if we do that we'll be alone, and we need them but even deeper we need to feel a sense of place within a family, because that belonging gives us a sense of place, and of self. a sense of who we are. nd our place in it; a very strong drive thats hardwired into us to develop, again, why gangs fill the void where broken families leave off. an evil alternative to what is right. one that ruins souls instead of builds them. if you're feeling ruined, instead of built, theres probably similar bonds of belonging working in your life you're trying to hang onto, out of need for connection and a sense of loyalty someone insisted you carry so they didn't have to face. You can let it go, the best thing you can do to help your connected people is step away from their nightmare they want to make you a part of, which just fuels it, and heal and be a complete person who owns their own stuff and lets others do the same. I think this is what AA is all about.

🎉 I hope you go on many more walks and see many more rainbows❤❤❤❤❤

Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I think you are doing great. I'm hoping to get as far as you have in a little while.❤

When you said you noticed a rainbow--that made me tear up. It truly is the small beautiful things that bring us happiness. All my love to you.

you dont need to be a better person to be loved. horrible people find happiness and love.

Keep moving forward. Keep improving. You are enough exactly as you are right now, but we can always do better. Baby steps become quarter steps become half steps... eventually you will find yourself at full stride. Just. Keep. Swimming.

@demian8439 thank you🫂✨️

You're not alone, been feeling same way. What would we do without KZfaqrs like CCF?

I can relate! Hang in there, I believe in you!

Me too

@lyndaElliot I can resonate with every word here. It's so peaceful to be able to just feel what you feel without anyone's input, advice or judgement. I'd like to have some more connection though, I'm in the process of how this looks as my relationships have changed and what I truly want has changed. All the best on your healing journey😊

I understand and recognize those perceptions of people interaction in myself. However, this is a process - we were nibbled away at by neglectful parenting for years, so isn't it reasonable to think this will take time to feel at ease with more and more people. Besides not everyone has/needs the same amount of social contact.

I'm sorry for the loss of your partner, and celebrating with you that your healing is so strong!

I just found @crappychildhoodfairy a couple hours ago. I decided to read some of the comments. I always assume that those doing the work are much younger then me so imagine my excitement at seeing your age. Thank you for sharing it. #67yearoldchild.

@@auntdebbie224 I'm 63 and have been working on myself for the last 20 years but never made the connection between my adverse childhood experiences and my being stuck in life until I began to watch Anna's video's in the past year or so. I've learned a lot from her and others here on KZfaq. Thank goodness we have people like Anna on KZfaq helping us to heal the wounds of our childhood trauma.

I'm glad you're here!

I have 6, 12 & 14

❤ Thank you!

​@@thekinginthenorth3222Think of doing an autism and adhd testing. Often comorbidity...

@@sonja_rademacher There is a lot of overlap in symptoms with autism, adhd and cptsd as well as other disorders. If you look it up, I'm sure there is a ven diagram out there that breaks it down.

She didn’t mention a #13.

Thank you for sharing & watching! It is wonderful to read about your breakthroughs. Julie@TeamFairy

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you for all that you do!!!

Interesting, whereas I avoid men because I don't trust them to be healthy 😂😢

Life is funny. I’m trying to heal my female driven wounds. Im coming to the conclusion that maybe we should appreciate it’s not any one gender that’s ‘bad’ but certain types of people. Human beings have the potential to be awful but that doesn’t mean every human being is awful

I spent much of my life Not trusting myself or men.

​@@dionisis4911 I agree. I don't trust men but don't trust women either (malignant narcissist mother and enabling absent father).

There is a need for spiritual as well as mental healing, this sounds like a good place to start. There are a lot of us out here.

Thanks for sharing the videos with your therapist! Sounds like you are making progress. :) Julie@TeamFairy

I saw a tweet once that said “but that’s a load-bearing coping mechanism!” and I felt that.

Have you learned her daily practice yet? It’s really good. I had this convo with my therapist. She said it’s tempting to want to take away these less-healthy mechanisms as a form of self improvement but sometimes that leaves us more vulnerable. She told me to work on building my “healthy tool box” before dismantling my less-healthy mechanisms. In fact the more I build up my healthy tools the less attracted I am to my old behaviours.

Maybe you did the care taking, because you were denied the care as a child and now you over compensate by giving it to others? That would be the reason of your temporary relapse: taking care of others instead of yourself? I apologize if I am in the wrong! I just seem to recognize my former neglected self here, the person who took care of everyone else's ailments and worries but never her own 🙄

You got this! -The Fairy Team

I am so sorry you are struggling like this. It might sound small, but the foundation of Anna's healing method is the Daily Practice. It's what she herself used and uses. It's a free course, and you can learn and do the technique from bed. You just need the internet to take the free course, then scratch paper and pen/pencil to practice the technique. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

That’s Wonderful! I’m going to do that! The Daily Practice!

Psychiatric treatment may be also helpful with dealing with panic attacks. My doctor told me it's my nervous system that needed a lot of help, when I started to have health issues and he was right.

​@@niebieskimotyl3308 Diaphragmatic breathing helps too.

❤

I'm so glad you found the channel! Thank you for sharing, we're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

So glad you are here! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

Wow. How is it going now?

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Much better. I'm nearly done with cardiac rehab, emotionally, I'm much better. Learning new habits, and mindsets. I talked to a confessor, who-when I told him of my CSA said, "That can take a lifetime to unravel." He's right, but I just keep going.

Thank you so much for this kind note. If you do create a Hindi translation, I welcome you to upload a caption file to the video itself, so other Hindi speakers can enjoy it too!

I'm so happy to hear that :) -Calista@TeamFairy

You're in the right place, we're all here for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️🌷

Gald to hear this video is motivating! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! Nika@TeamFairy

Wow, I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy

That's amazing! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Same 🥰 yay!!

Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

Thanks for being a part of our community here! Isolation is really hard, and it’s often a CPTSD symptom. If you’re interested, Anna has a course to help called Connection Bootcamp. bit.ly/CCF_Connection Also, one good tool to help with getting regulated is the Daily Practice. You can try it in the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

Thanks for tuning in and doing Daily Practice! Julie@TeamFairy

Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy

Sorry you're going through so much right now. We always suggest people start with the Daily Practice. It can help you figure out where to start -- how to untangle it. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

Thanks for letting us know about the link & thank you for your comment! Julie@TeamFairy

The link is fixed now, thanks again! TeamFairy