When You're Stuck In An Unhappy Marriage

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When You're Stuck In An Unhappy Marriage | Paul Friedman

Рет қаралды 18,012

4 жыл бұрын

What do you do if you're stuck in an unhappy marriage? Watch Paul gives you tips to make your marriage happy again.
Hopefully, I'm going to be able to give you some insight today that is going to give you guidance that is not just practical but helps you move towards a state of happiness because we get married in order to be happy. We don't get married to be stuck. We don't get married to suffer and your spouse also had the same attention. When you got married the height of your life, the wedding day, the party all of the thrills of being newly married and what happened.
Why should you be stuck in an unhappy marriage?
If you think about it it really doesn't make any sense until you start seeing what I see and here's what I see. The biggest problem is that people get married without realizing that it's just like anything else that you get that is new. If you buy a new house, you don't imagine that everything is going to just remain hunky-dory. You're going to have to trim the hedges, mow the lawn, wash the windows, sweep the floors -- you have to do things. You don't just get a house and move in and everything is cool and it's the same way with marriage but people don't think about it in those terms. They think, "Okay, we're married." They don't have a list of to-do's. They don't even have an idea that anything has to be done.
What happens just like that house or even if you get a car and you don't change the oil, things start deteriorating and then you go, "Oh my God. I'm stuck with this car that won't even start. I'm stuck with this house that is a shambles. it's filthy in here." No, you don't do that in a house because you're keeping it clean you know you have to but the biggest promised people get married and they don't realize that there's things they actually have to do. They have to maintain that marriage but more than that it's better than that if you're approaching it in the right way as marriage is something that begins when you get married and it's living and you got married to be happy.
Let's keep that in mind so what you should have been doing -- think of it as a plant, you
get a beautiful plant again. You don't not fertilize it. You don't feed it, you water it. You make sure it's getting the proper care and maintenance and what does it do. It grows and it bears fruit -- marriage too. You feed it with what, you feed it with. What makes you happy is love.
Why did you get married out of love?
To be happy but you didn't feed it. You didn't treat your spouse with the same level of respect for instance that when you were dating you did or with the support, the kind
words, the acknowledgments, the special treats -- you didn't do that so your marriage deteriorated.
Why am I talking about this in this way?
Because I want you to recognize that you're not stuck in a marriage that somehow you ended up in this is your marriage. Only two of you are in this marriage.
How could you possibly get stuck in something that only two of you are responsible for?
Watch the video for more.
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Пікірлер: 50

@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын

Sincere and determined people also need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by 1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing. 2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways 3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions. Go to our website and get the course(s) if you need them. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action. themarriagefoundation.org/

@basiagoralczyk5673 3 жыл бұрын

It is not always possible i am afraid. No point living a miserable life. Sometimes people marry in haste or young not knowing themselves and what kind of partner they would like.

@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын

What you say is true but what is also true is that people do not have the skills needed to be successful. That is what we offer.

@suzannemistretta9275 2 жыл бұрын

perfectly said

@linggg1541 2 жыл бұрын

I agree with both sides of this discussion, however, if you knowingly marry someone you never felt was your soul mate or life partner ( say marriage of convenience for example) and you have never found that "spark" 30 years later..should you be expected to waste more time being unhappy in that marriage? Surely sometimes things naturally just run to a certain point?

@SHARONUKN18 2 жыл бұрын

fgdf

@hijadeDios02 Ай бұрын

WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET MAN PUT ASUNDER.

@Strawman333 3 жыл бұрын

Patience is key. It can be a very long process to regain true love once again.

@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын

All your efforts that are feeding love in all its manifestations will hasten the "recovery"

@jeffcauthen6434 3 жыл бұрын

Can listen to him all day! Truths right here!

@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Jeff. 🙏

@sallyho146 2 жыл бұрын

What happen you dont have love/feeling for your spouse b/c your spouse ignored you and emotional abused you? will you continue stay in the marriage?

@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын

This is a far too open ended question, but should be written in to our counselors, anyway. themarriagefoundation.org/free-marriage-help/

@mgu1N1n1 Жыл бұрын

Get out! No questions... navigate out! I left my abusive female partner after eleven years of psychological torture. GET OUIT and rebuild a happy, healthy life!

@davemustachio2734 6 ай бұрын

My wife has been very bitter not just at me but at our friends and family. She has been expressing her anger towards me about my faults. She also is pushing away her family and is very nasty towards her father. Her dad definitely had problems but has tried to make amends with her. I am trying to improve myself and fix the things that are making her unhappy about me. But she definitely needs counseling and refuses to admit she has is that way.

@TheMarriageFoundation 6 ай бұрын

She needss your love and understanding as she goes through this temporary phase. She needs her husband, not to placate her, but to love her from the deepest depths of your heart.

@rorhianskall5659 2 жыл бұрын

You can do something, when there's at least an attempt of two way "conversation". Sadly, mostly problems I've seen during my life, including mine, is when it is just one way. And most cases you realize that that other half was there from the beginning just because "f it, why not" or out of pure need of something and not even necessarily financial. And then you're "stuck", two kids, business, mortgage and so on....And you also realize that whatever "conversation" you might have and however you want to water it, the best it can be is 1 day, maybe 2 at most and again same sht... Very destructive, very deteriorating....As I understand, very few solutions exists, and all of them well known. Sadly.

@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын

You are not an expert so don't trust what you have concluded. Keep watching these videos until it hits you. Then, get the course for men and have a blissful marriage.

@morrison70 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing Us your wisdom in the aspect of a happy marriage. I will apply your teaching as I been struggling emotionally for almost 30 years. Because of love to my husband and of no one else I have stayed even if I have say I will leave him and say to him many times. I know that it is all my emotional baggage that make him unhappy mostly because of that I got the reaction of flight and feel I been neglect and abandoned and lonely most of the time. I been on the habit then to feel sorry for myself and always think that he is like my parents too has no interest on me or love me at all we just excess because I was born to them and to my husband part because we are already marriage so we should be together even it feel cold and distance. Listening to your video shed a lot of tears but that's how I react all my life God bless and more power to you and your teaching..

@rodeheavers 3 жыл бұрын

My wife and I have been married for 20 years. I am still in love with her but she is wanting to leave me. I believe she is only kinda staying for our 4 daughters. I’m going to try to fertilize my marriage like you are saying.

@RomesTiara 2 жыл бұрын

Same situation . Married 22 years . And stuck . Unhappy . Staying for the children

@2ndchance119 Жыл бұрын

WOW.. my prayers are with you

@munterboy1744 Жыл бұрын

If kids are grown u just leave, you still have so much living to do. Don't waste precious years with someone who doesn't want to be with you or treats you bad. I was married 20 years my wife was a narcissist and isolated me from my friends and family, we had one child and my parents never were allowed to see him, what a horrible thing to do to someone, she was happy as long as she got her way if she didn't she would turn into a dragon. I'm 55 now and feel free and my mental health is so much better I see my sister and her family all the time and see my old friends often. now I am enjoying my life doing what I want to do not walking on egg shells trying to keep someone else happy

@kwadwoaddai-peprah3577 Жыл бұрын

Hello Paul, thanks so very much for sharing these wonderful insights with your God-given talent. God bless!!!👏👏👏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@brianabramsjr.7245 2 жыл бұрын

Great video! There's a lot of truth behind the saying as we think so shall we become. We must stop letting negative thoughts, words, and actions infect our marriages and replace those things with the fruit of the spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal 5:22)

@TheMarriageFoundation 4 жыл бұрын

Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by: 1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing. 2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways 3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions. Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.

@aliradmard8990 Жыл бұрын

Jehovah bless you, and keep you: Jehovah make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you: Jehovah lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. We request that through our high priest; king of God's kingdom; Jesus christ. Amin

@mahalak4383 Ай бұрын

I am married to a good guy but i am not happy.Its been 6years. I don't know what to do anymore

@TheMarriageFoundation Ай бұрын

I think it is time for you to look at the course for women themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/

@ginajam6439 Ай бұрын

This advice won't work if both people don't want to make it better. Otherwise your going to have one person pouring everything into the relationship while the other one just takes. Guess who ends up with a mental health crisis when their depleted?

@TheMarriageFoundation Ай бұрын

You articulated the fears that are normal but you do not have the experience we have. themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/

@ginajam6439 Ай бұрын

@TheMarriageFoundation actually, I speak from 30 years of experience. I know what I'm talking about, and it doesn't come from fear, it comes from knowledge.

@TheMarriageFoundation Ай бұрын

You have 30 years of experience with one woman. I have 25 years of experience with thousands and with the aim of healing relationships.

@ginajam6439 Ай бұрын

@TheMarriageFoundation your experience is leading you to advise people that they alone can make a marriage successful? Your setting them up for failure. It takes two people to want the same result and offer each other mutuality otherwise, one is POURING into the other, leaving themselves depleted and EMPTY and the other spouse happy and content. That's a recipe for disaster.

@neematm8266 2 жыл бұрын

Amazing

@hellooli2825 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@deemonee7509 3 жыл бұрын

Good video 🔥

@Entertainwithrikki 5 ай бұрын

What are your thoughts on a marriage that has one spouse that is alcoholic

@TheMarriageFoundation 5 ай бұрын

It is always best to live your marriage from a point of view of love and compassion. Alcoholism and other addictions creates challenge but the commitment is from the heart so overrides all everything (almost)

@magdalenamorin196 3 жыл бұрын

Why dose my husband tell me he loves me more than anything and treats me like a child

@TheMarriageFoundation 3 жыл бұрын

The way you want to be treated, lovingly, is still within reach. You need to be the one to encourage him by learning how. There is no simple answer to your question but we all should have a loving relationship at the highest levels and that takes knowing what to do. Start with one of my books. themarriagefoundation.org/

@silvercarolina4045 Жыл бұрын

@@TheMarriageFoundation figures. Sales pitch!

@rhondasternfels4123 2 жыл бұрын

What happens if your husband gets so angry he occasionally gets physical with you and you get hurt. What do you do?

@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын

Healing your marriage will take care of that unless your husband is psychotic

@rhondasternfels4123 2 жыл бұрын

@@TheMarriageFoundation how would I know? We’ve been married 50 years at this point. I don’t think he is.

@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын

You would know if he was... you can get much from our books

@rhondasternfels4123 2 жыл бұрын

I will get your book. Which one? How can I sign up for the class? I’d like to take it.

@TheMarriageFoundation 2 жыл бұрын

The course is more of a step by step while the books, and Breaking The Cycle is more thorough, is more of a template for a well run marriage. Either can be purchased through our website themarriagefoundation.org/