1. *angry shieldmaiden noises* 2. People gonna argue monks don’t fit the setting then want to play a game with mind flayers who are literal space aliens.

Condescension - Yeeeeaaah, i am seeing red flags in the relationship. The woman wants to be taken seriously and her boyfriend constantly calls her cute and infantizes her-even after being told irl ahe does not like it. I love the “silk hiding steel” characters-either the wily who pretend to be weak and helpless to screw dumb dudes over, or even the polite and gentle ladies who show ferocity.

the historical accuracy one. on top of everything else that was pointed out by OP, he could have also went with "im playing a half elf-" "Nope. elves arent real. So, if we're gonna be historically accurate, all races but human are banned." But, i like the way OP said it better

"Vikings were all men" Astrid has joined the battle. ...Yes she's from a movie, but its about as realistic as DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, A FANTASY GAME.

The condescending DM was trash on multiple levels. But most pressing to me is how he crafted a BBEG that can somehow laugh off hours of almost non-stop torture, but isn't able to... A) take out or incapacitate an attacker B) be tough or powerful enough to escape death at the hands of an early-mid game PC. C) Could be successfully incapacitated themselves, by a PC before the BBEG was supposed be fought.

That first story was a major red flag. Idk how they didn’t notice that. My literal first question after he said that would’ve been. “Why aren’t you welcome at the advanced table if you’re experienced?”

Honestly, the "Women can't be intimidating" story gave me a pretty good idea for a surprise Nyarlathotep reveal for a campaign. Some context, I'm a GM mainly for Trail of Cthulhu and since Nyarlathotep is my favourite mythos entity, I always involve him in some manner, almost never as the big bad. He'll either be a passerby observing the situation, an ally of the big bad who decides to betray them last minute or someone actually working alongside the Investigators, knowing full well what the mystery holds of course but still following the PCs to have fun watching them struggle. And this, it's so in line with what he does. Disguising himself as a low level mook and getting himself captured, then enduring torture and questioning like it tickles. Even the descriptions. Snap off his knee, he snaps it right back, break his fingers, he breaks another one on his own and giggles about it, beat out some of his teeth, he spits the interrogator in the eye with them and grins unfazed. And then when they give up and kill him (if they do) he just doesn't die and complains about feeling hungry so he just breaks out of his restraints like it's nothing and requests tea and some crumpets, looking clean and fresh and healthy again. Terror delivered.

“The woman melts into the fleshy substance and it appears to be Gibbering Mouther.” Ngl, I was also expecting an Oblex. Those things are terrifying.

With Lord of the Rings, in the books it's more specifically that Dwarves and Elves grew apart. Like, the "speak friend and enter" thing isn't a riddle with a silly literal answer. It's literally the elven word for friend because they were once friends (and there's this whole commentary on how cynical and paranoid everyone has gotten that this wasn't immediately obvious until Frodo thought about it for a minute.) But yeah, Gimli and Legolas had grown immensely close (even as early as the end of Fellowship!) And the gift Galadriel gave to Gimli was to be a sign of renewed friendship between their people. Fuck this "dwarves and elves don't get along" nonsense.

Story 1: Funny how it seems like the only two types of people that care about historical accuracy in fantasy RPGs are those that want to belittle people for their character choices and those who want to justify their characters having child brides and slaves. Story 3: Absolutely not a bad character concept, totally falls on the DM for being an asshole. If you're torturing a person up to a point where the only place left to go is death if they don't talk, and they're still acting like nothing's wrong and belittling your character, that's not normal; the DM was absolutely ignoring the plight of the character for the sake of making his girlfriend feel powerless. It's a bad look all around for him. She should definitely take it into another game and see how that character works.

"VIKINGS ARE ALL MEN" Did...he just forget that shieldmaidens existed?

Last story: “You need to drop your staff.” Picks up Players handbook, finds proper section, points out: “Nah ah.” 🙂

What part of fantasy setting is neckbeard having issues with? Does he think dwarves, elves, and halflings existed in real life?

The historical realism story is pretty entertaining to read, even if it reeks of "and everybody clapped." Granted, I'm not saying that there aren't people who use "muh realism" to justify crappy behaviour - but, c'mon. Unless the player in this story was a literal cardboard cut-out, no one just stands there and takes a lecture without arguing, trying to butt in with retorts, or just walking away from the conversation.

The historical realism story highly amuses me as someone who has briefly done historical reenactment and has studied history, especially with clowns who seem to think a game that has overt fantasy elements needs to be historically realistic; there are better settings and systems for that sort of thing

Story 1: When an “advanced player” was not welcomed to the advanced table-that is a red flag. Also a lot of cultures were mixed rven during Renaissance times because of established trade routes and what not. Afterall, Rome got into the UK and… well… China was still there as their neighbor. So having a monk halfling is not that crazy.

"Yeah, I wasn't allowed on the advanced table", *which is my favorite observation from a stranger in a* -dark alleyway- *D&D Beginner's Table*

I loved the Legolas/Gimli dynamic and bromance.

The public condescension from the DM weren't just red flags for a bad DM, that's red flags for a bad partner.

Suggestion to OP in the third story, throw the whole man out. If he cant take you seriously in a game thats a massive red flag for irl as well. But also as crispy said, shes doing super well for a new player.

No female vikings? Really? Ever hear of shieldmaidens? Yeah, that's not just a thing in LotR. As to historical accuracy in general, I am slightly weebish but also a huge nerd in general. Ever watch Shadiversity? Man, that guy is BRILLIANT. Really knows his stuff, and it's fun watching him play around with stuff to figure some things out. He even got his kid involved at one point when they were measuring weapons for short folks like halflings and gnomes. Kid seemed to have fun, and Shad certainly had a lot of fun with it. But the guy really does know his stuff, and I would love to take some of the knowledge from his vids and put them into D&D campaigns. Was actually talking with a DM at one point about brigandine, which does have a studded leather look to it but is very different and often worn over a gambeson, and he said it would probably be heavy armor or perhaps medium at least...annnyway, history is GREAT for reference, but like you said in your vid, it should NOT be the be all, end all. Also, just saying, 2nd ed had actual ninja and a crapton of Japanese lore about them and Japanese history in general. But that was 2e.

Speaking as another reenactor... half of what he said in the 2nd story as his "gotcha" is like saying every woman today wears yoga pants, or everyone on the planet owns a computer I rolled my eyes at his comeback as much as I did the guy he was firing back at

"Not historically Accurate" DUH, it's a fantasy setting. It's fiction. I see a lot of ppl online fall into this trap of trying to equivocate RPG settings with IRL historical accuracy. Forgotten Realms is INSPIRED by medieval Europe, but it is not meant to be a re-enactment -FFS! there's MAGIC and MONSTERS.

Neckbeard is so wrong as an entourage of samurai in 1614 representing the Date clan went across Mexico and visited Spain, traveled across France to Italy and met the pope. Not this was before Japan went isolationist as the Portuguese were taking Japanese citizens to be sold off in slavery. This was after the British tried to get their foot into Japan and insert the Church of England in Japan as the Japanese were clamping down; hard on Christianity and the Portuguese and the British were bitter colonial rivals. It is speculated that the Date clan was trying to over throw Oda Nobunaga and be the rulers of Japan with European support but that fell apart quite quickly after the isolation. Edit 1: I am typing this as the video goes along. Shield Maidens. Hello neckbeard. Edit 2: True OP. The vikings pretty much disappeared around the 1400s; I think or maybe earlier and did convert to Christianity.

"You need to drop your weapon to use your unarmed strike" clearly, that DM never heard of Dueling fighting style and Versatile property, both of which Quarterstaff is benefiting from

re: first story: ah, yes, love my historically accurate half-elves

One of the teachers at my school is a Civil War enthusiast, and even has his own class on it. I don’t know if he does re-enactments, but he was an extra in some movie set during Gettysburg. If his level of enthusiasm is the same for medieval enthusiasts, then I know to NEVER attempt to challenge their knowledge

I'm two sessions into a game I joined mid-campaign in a homebrew setting so I'm too busy trying to keep up/catch up to be the most engaging in RP but I'm definitely on the lookout for things my character can do. Like the party was hunting some shapeshifters that can be banished with fire so they bought a bunch of oil barrels and kept one on hand. My character is an Awakened Owlbear (dndwiki homebrew) Barbarian. They enthusiastically accepted my offer to carry extra barrels when I mentioned my carrying capacity was _half a ton;_ 15 * Str(18) * size mod (2) * barbarian mod (2) pounds Little happy coincidences like that have been fun, like when I pointed out the swarm of giant spiders we killed had a lot of meat on them we could take with us!

The "woman can't be scary" reminds me of the key and peele sketch with the murderer in a room of mirrors. lol

Omg that reminds me of how my character loved kids, and bc of that, our DM and his Dad who was helping him, decided to add a really childlike and playful pixie (or sprite I can't remember which one) in the story. We had one character who looked like a dog so she came out and looked at me, asking if she could pet him, so I said yes. Turns out she was a princess and soon her guards came for her, and after petting the dog like character, she gave us advice and some magical item(s) to help us in our next encounter. After the session was over I was so happy and excited, the DM noticed and told me he was happy I liked it so much, because they had added her specifically so my character could use that part of her personality. And another time where we had to save a fishermans son from goblins, that was also really cool. He did his best to give each of us a situation we could enjoy, and shine in. I miss talking to him, one of the best DM's I ever had.

Oh man do I agree with the sentiment at the end of the first story. So, I have a background in automotive mechanics, carpentry, and fantasy design. I learned carpentry from my family, and some classes through public school. I'm an automotive student starting out strong, and I've been designing fantasy vehicles my whole life. D&D *can* stick to history as a reference, but if it ain't fun, don't do it. I recently got the chance to have the party battle a goliath of silver and steel, and man did I have fun throwing historical accuracy and magical logic out the window. I made the thing into a primitive nuclear-steam powered mechatronic, with a plethora of exposed components that I could easily reference from my interest in cars. A player managed to get up onto its back, and I told him that he found a radiator. A large, mostly aluminum-based finned structure designed to vent heat to the outside air. He used a fire-related attack on it, and slowed down the radiation of heat to make its systems struggle. Player slashing at the open side panel on a leg? You scored a good hit on a hydraulic line, and it's starting to struggle to stand up. Referring to real world stuff can make a setting, encounter, or character incredibly fun for everyone. But when it gets to the "Uhh, wait, hold up" territory, I say let fun override fact for the time being.

17:42-my gaming group used to laugh when that kind of thing happened. DM would be laughing too. There would be some joke about calling bluffs and what that can get you and the dm would prep the next part while our characters were planning downtime activities.

First story is the biggest 'and everyone clapped' I've ever heard.

oh god the grim dark story, yikes on several effing bikes

boyfriend DM: Like some other horror stories, this one is less about gaming problems and more about social problems. Boyfriend is basically saying anytime OP is angry he can completely ignore what she wants and just sit there and watch it as a spectacle because she's incapable of affecting him. Let's... just say that's not the best way to support your partner when they're experiencing difficulties, especially if you're causing them. grimdark: The need for abilities the gamemaster doesn't tell you about is something I used to see a lot. Especially a more obnoxious version where the GM keeps beating you up with same trick (like darkness in D&D/Pathfinder or obfuscate in Vampire). Once you have a way around it, _it disappears never to be seen again._ Not even so much as a throw-away revenge fight. If it ever does reappear it's in a buffed version that you still can't deal with.

First story OP plays TTRPGs to get away from all the “well actually’s”??? I’d have thought with all the rules lawyers it wouldn’t be so easy to avoid

That first story is just missing a “and everyone stood up and clapped”

7:45 Your Philosophy teacher sounds like my old Biology teacher, kinda.. We were in our school's little arboretum, meant to be doing a study of the varying flora and fauna under the trees. Being teenagers, two of my classmates started goofing off and having a mock sword fight using fallen twigs. Noticing this, our teach paused, sighed, said "Excuse me"... And picked up his own stick. He quickly disarmed one of our classmates, then parried the other, only for his own stick to snap in half. He still parried with it, another snap. Managed to hit or classmates stick hard enough that it snapped, despite holding only his remaining fragment of stick. Whilst he might have been our biology teacher and probably in his 50s, the guy also lead after school fencing lessons..

Regarding "underestimated girl rogue," please DO play with another group. Also, date another guy, because that JACKASS is a man-child, as well as a BAD DM. Get yourself a new group, with a new DM, who doesn't PATRONIZE YOU as a means of fighting you, by invalidating everything you have to say, as "Awww, you're so cute!" and "You can't possibly have anything valuable to say," or "I can't possibly take you seriously." You tried everything you could, for half an hour. I'm surprised you didn't simply slit his throat after the first five minutes. And honestly, he lets the BBEG get captured for questioning, by a staring level character? ALONE?! Meanwhile, for thirty minutes, all the other players are just sitting there, waiting, while you get patronized by the DM? BAD DM, and BAD group. And definitely BAD BOYFRIEND.

Today on "What is it with bad DMs and hating a character class or feature so much that they target the player for it, but still allowing the character in the first place"...

17:47- I am shameless about using identical twins...like the type of shameless in Beerfest.

The last story kind of reminded me of my bf's game last night. He was the DM last night and was a little upset that I locked down his spell caster and killed her in three rounds. As I was rolling damage, he was basically rushing me into rolling SOMETHING and I told him that he needed to be patient... It was a lot of dice and... math isn't my forte. In the end, I killed the spellcaster in three rounds (the sc had dr). I did about 200 points of damage, I think.

Very seriously something I learned from guy and one of his videos is that sometimes a player is happy just being there and watching the show. This role is called the spectator and as long as everyone else is having fun and your entire group is not spectators the occasional spectator is not really a problem. It would at least be nice though if obviously a plot of aimed towards them that it is communicated that they don't really need that they're just fine watching other cool stuff happen

Vikings were all men. Lagertha: Hold my shield maidens.

The bf DM sounded sexist and was probably too busy checking out his gf to think about the game. And yeah I had a similar issue where I killed off my DM's npc that he wanted to use as a betrayal plot to reveal he was a boss serving the BBEG. And he should've figured my lawful evil trickster rogue would want to kill him the first opportunity he was alone with him, or at least considered the possibility as we were playing through voice chat and I don't have a camera. Anyway he wasn't too upset and the campaign fell apart because of everyone's work schedules

Hearing an insufferable well-actualler get thoroughly schooled by an actual expert on the subject was so satisfying. I mentally picture the guy slowly shrinking down until he's smaller than the figurines on the table.

About hisrotical accuracy. I made my fantasy world after the mid 13th century europe. Because that is my favorite time period of medieval ages. ( So no plate armors, but They can have a full mail with the same AC) But I still allow other things from another time periods and fantasy settings for the sake of fun. Like the two handed sword, because in the mid 13th century they had the one handed arming sword.

The one with the condescending DM boyfriend sounds like the DM wanted an excuse to tease her but got mad when she, you know, took the RP seriously and killed the BBEG.

I'm sorry but I would've dumped that guy. If he's condescending (knowing she hates those comments and choosing to utilize them anyway) over her simply participating in her interests, fictional or not, then I don't want to know what he's like otherwise. What a moron, lost a good opportunity and probably a good girlfriend due to a lack of basic respect and decency.

If you have races that rivals each other (e.g. elf and dwarf) is a good start for role play start hating each other then growing to tolerate each other then friendship as they learn they are not that different after all

The closest thing to a rapier during the late middle ages was the estoc, aka a tuck. Which was a thing bladed trusting sword.

I had a DM who said we couldn't use alchemist's fire because it didn't actually exist to the historical Greeks. However, we still played in a world with elves, dwarves, and magic.

The enthusiasm story irks me, even though I had someone at our table (I wasn't GM, just another player) who was basically the same, with almost the same exact scenario. Dude rolled up a deep gnome ranger who's parents were killed by some gang of the underdark while he and his brother hid under their bed, his character escaped but his brother wasn't so lucky. His deep gnome made it to the surface and in due time ran a locksmithing business. Eventually after like 1.5 years of playing, his backstory arc intersects with the main quest as we have to go to his underdark city to screw over some Drow who had an item we needed. On the way we come across HIS BROTHER who is blind and is missing an arm and a leg as a result of the crime family's actions to him when they caught him. And the player's reaction? Nothing. Just awkwardly said "cool. See you I guess" and we moved on. It was the same kind of anticlimax. What irks me though is that this illuminated to me that there are just the players who are there to roll dice and witness the story, and they *just* don't want to be the centre of attention. They're attentive, take notes, and show up every week *because* they want to play. They just might not be comfortable being focussed on. You can simply not allow these players, sure, but the implication that it's somehow the player's fault, or that it is a GAME BREAKING behaviour is complete and utter snobby nonsense. You wanna know how to handle those players? You just give them their turns in combat. They don't want to be the centre of attention? They're maybe shy or simply enjoy observing the story more than participating in it as characters, acting more like hired muscle, then just treat them as such. Don't be rude, don't *dismiss* them if they *do* want to do something, but just don't put them in the spotlight unless they ask to be. Of course, it's a game where everyone participating should be having fun, and you can ask anyone to leave the table if they're actively a detriment to everyone elses' fun, but don't insult or belittle these players, because there is no wrong way to play D&D as long as you're somewhat following the rulebooks. Don't act like it's somehow a failure or travesty that they exist. Hell, it just means one less sub-plot for you to manage as GM, and an easier time balancing encounters because they still very much count in combat. That attitude is just gross. I mean it's not the worst thing you can do as a person, but it's just shitty. There's nothing redeeming about treating people who aren't actively being disruptive, or directly malicious, like shit. Stop it. Be better.

"there arent any japanese people in medieval europe" yeah and neither were orcs, elves or tieflings

Sorry to be nitpicky, I know there's a comic, and others have probably only encountered the name in written form, but, I have big nostalgia for the Red Sonja movie. It's pronounced like Sonya.

Condensation . . . . D'oh!

If the intro story was in Warhammer Fantasy, then yes, absolutely. But it wasn't, and while my D&D knowledge isn't especially great, I'm reasonably sure elves and dwarves never had that much animosity. And that's putting aside the fact that it was homebrew.

More oblex fights definitely needed

You don't have to be proficient in arcana to make an arcana check. And he could have easily said, "After searching for a few minutes, you find another plaque, this time in Common." Honestly, this DM made SO MANY blunders!

Crispy you big nerd. (This title is the highest honor I can bestow upon you.)

Historical facts! I love it

Story 2 - Some people just… don’t put effort into DMing. We had a bad player that barely engaged with the stories. In a “Devil versus Jesus” game that was supposed to be dark and gritty-she instead played this happygolucky Scarecrow while she was surronded by the Devil, a noir detective and some bloodhunter character. And in a pirate campaign, she completely forgot her own character traits.

I ran a game once where there was a puzzle that required being able to read Dwarfish (the vault in Dragon Heist) and none of the PCs could read it. You know what? It's NOT THEIR FAULT. Players can't create characters with traits to solve problems they don't know about yet.

Good lord, that 3rd story reminds me of my first ex. He thought he was a toughish guy, but he was just tall and a "former" edgy teenager. When he came ot my karate club and saw me actually fight, he literally sulked for

“Women can’t be scary” have you seen the Ringu?!?

I just used an Oblex in my game yesterday 😂

My guess with the story with the 1 on 1 session, The OP's boyfriend never intended to run the game with his girlfriend in the first place. He did the one on one sessions for no reason other than to stonewall his girlfriend and gaslight her into thinking it was her fault.

OMG That first story warmed my little "fuck the fun police" heart. Thank you for reading that one!

Can we talk about the monk shit, that's a DM punishing the player for disagreeing about a very simply to grasp concept, literally simply grasping the weapon. Unless they really think every missed attack should result in fucking ampuation

Yoooo crispy upload lets goooo

Im pretty chill when it comes to rules if a character wants to do something id have no prob if everyone else is in agreement ive never been a dm/gm yet but i think id be good at it

About the first story, I don't know if I should say this, but... I think the neckbeard just got schooled.

Intro: Never mind that in LotR, there's a _reason_ Elves and Dwarves hate each other; it's not just racism. Story 1:... neckbeard is making my fascination with medieval Europe _hurt_ with how _wrong_ he's being, nevermind that the setting isn't _actually_ historical medieval Europe. Know what's not historically accurate? Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits/Halflings, or magic freaking _anything!_ Massive props to OP for all that knowledge! But it's worth noting that I'm nowhere near that knowledgeable, largely fascinated but not really "enthusiastic" to that kind of degree (at least not yet), and yet even _I_ knew enough to call out Neckbeard's nonsense.

I apologize for this rant, but... There are sooo many ways the condescending DM could have handled that without spoiling his damn plot twist and not upsetting the player. He could've had the BBEG pretend to be scared and give her false info that would have kicked off the main plot. When she finds out her info wasn't adding up, it could've been a hint that he wasn't as low-ranking as he seemed. BBEG could be more impressed than scared and point out everything she did that he found impressive in a Worthy Opponent style sort of banter. That would have been a way to validate her accomplishments and set up an interesting dynamic between these characters. I dunno, maybe its bacause I'm used to running mystery campaigns that I'm seeing how much better this could've gone. And let's not forget that he KNEW that was a pet peeve of hers and went the condescending route anyway. I mean, at least a quick break in character to address that this is your NPC with these views and not you, the DM, would have been SOOOOO much better than what he did. I can't help but wonder if he does this sort of behavior off-table as well. If that's the case I hope she dumps his scrub ass.

Condensation~

I love the silent Beau example at 23:07 XD

There needs to be more kung fu-fighting European monks! Nothing like a middle-aged balding friar whipping out some martial arts and taking down the barbarian.

The historically accurate know it all apparently never heard of shield maidens. Dude was an a**

I get it that some rules and parameters have to be set in place for a game to like, work just on a functional level but DnD rules lawyers and "you can't do that because I think it's dumb/ it's not the right way to/ etc" baffle me no end. Anybody who is going to argue about the "right" way to play a half-dragon with a ghost companion or an elf wizard or a dwarf or whatever has got to be pretty dense to understand that isn't a good look. Like how would a real unicorn do it then, buddy? Oh shoot, this girl be dating my ex. He was a terrible DM who wouldn't tell us what he wanted but then would pout if we didn't read his mind about it and then would "get bored" with that idea and make a whole new campaign and we'd have to roll new characters. We never made it to a fifth session in any of his "campaigns." He also was condescending, disrespectful, and crappy to me, but he treated everybody that way- not that that was any better but hey, hindsight is 20/20. And, sensitive that his friends would think he was favoring me, he went out of his way to treat me the worst. It's kind of a wonder I still love DnD to be honest ha! I feel kind of bad for the ikky vet in the last story... vividly roleplaying to relive the worst of what you witnessed on the battlefield (well, outside of doing so in an environment where those you're doing so with understand what's going on there and are cool with it) sounds like an unhealthy coping mechanism at best and at worse something akin to fetishizing it? Either way it seems like the combat time left him with some permanent damage and that just stinks. I mean, I'm not saying his behavior was okay or what have you (and even without the gorefest his DMing was atrocious) but it just... sounds like a real sad state of things with that guy.

Love the "face-slapping" character trope where the enemies belittle you at first, it would be a blast to play with.

It seems like whenever someone describes a DnD campaign as "historically accurate" that simply means any combination of racist, sexist, and homophobic.

If the guy is a BBEG why couldn't his minions rescue him before he is killed? They would not even have to spoil the reveal because they could pretend to be officers of the law or guards, since she is in there torturing him to death after all. Hopefully in addition to finding a better DM this poor girl found a better boyfriend. The grimdark DM was just weird. He asked for characters in advance, but didn't give any suggestions or even read the character sheets. He could easily have refactored the puzzles to match what abilities and skills the characters actually had if he had done so.

So den of the Drake believes the first story to be fake, I have no clue but at least it's interesting to each idiots fail

First off, they weren't called "Vikings." They were Danes. Vikingr is an action meaning "To raid" Also females *did* participate in Vikingr

Whoa whoa whoa! Crispy, what kind of high school did you go to where they offered PHILOSOPHY courses?!

The sorcerer just wanted to play a generic adventurer so just let him If he's having fun just focus on those whom are active. I have a player like this in one of the Wednesday games I'm in. His response to "what is your character doing while ____ is happening?" Is "chillin" it's fine cause the party basically thinks of him as a lazy nobleman who can do magic and kinda has a stoner vibes He's mostly into the game for combat so it's fine.

4:00 Just wanna point out that there is some historic evidence of female vikings. Mainly in stories and a handful of runic stones. There's even evidence of women in power; female skeletons in mound graves, said graves being made for only the important

Thanks for this well made video! I've really been enjoying your content ever since I happened upon your channel. ☺️ I feel bad for the people in these RPG horror stories but unfortunately I can relate in a lot of ways to some of these stories. My experience with D&D is that it's the most over-promised and under-delivered game I've ever attempted participating in. I don't have any friends who play so I've had to try finding a group at my local game shop. Tried for almost half a year in fact. For what it's worth, my advice is if you plan on trying to find a group and play at a game shop prepare to deal with a lot of neckbeard, min-max, antagonistic trolls (unless you're incredibly lucky or live in utopia). I've tried so many times and have had many toxic experiences. I couldn't even enjoy one shots because the insecure constantly-yelltalk-over-everyone dm killed me off as fast as he could because I dared to use my brain and try strategizing with my teammates. Constantly ended up feeling like I was a punching bag for someone to feel less pathetic about themselves by being a jerk to me when I just wanted to have fun and meet people and enjoy rp. Most of the players I was around were constantly distracted like on their phones, talking over each other, or being so loud you could never hear what anyone was actually saying. Lots of sexism, perverted kink talk, bullying and cursing. I can deal with mature content but it turns my stomach when adults do that in front of a bunch of kids at a game shop. It's supposed to be a family place, not a dive bar. The straw that broke the camel's back was seeing a table of 19-50 year olds bullying a 15 y/o kid who seemed to be on the autistic spectrum. I was the only one who was nice to him and tried to have our characters rp and do battle strategy together, he was a nice kid and didn't deserve that. He just had trouble focusing and who could blame him when it was a madhouse. Anyway... All of these factors actually made me quit D&D because it was so miserable and stressful. I've been a roleplayer and a gamer for over 23 years and this was definitely neither, just a disorganized obnoxious frat party with an identity crisis lol. I'm a grown ass adult, I expect my limited free time to be fun and a chance to destress, not to feel like a captive audience being held prisoner by an arrogant egotistical dictator. So, I'm happy for everyone who has these magical experiences since the game has become so popular but I literally have never seen it happen in real life and I can't afford to waste anymore time chasing a unicorn that is this "fun and collaborative D&D game" that is fabled to exist. Popular rarely ever means best. 😕 It definitely didn't work out for me.

I don't understand why so many referees are dead-set against giving the players a hint if they are stuck because of game mechanics or not getting the puzzle they designed. Sheesh.

the last instance is ridiculous -- just, y'know, add another language to the plaque or some half-scribbled translation notes from a dead guy who failed, then swap the portal to religion so the paladin can handle it And the staff thing? Maybe you punch with the hand holding the staff!

Red "Sonja"

Love the "I want to talk to the manager" "I AM the manager" energy on that first story

Not only did Legolas & Gimli, despite beginning as adversaries, become straight-up hetero lifemates by the middle part of LoTR, but also Legolas loved his dwarf buddy so much _that he smuggled him into Elf Heaven_ in the epilogue. That player sounds like a chump.

There's been viking women buried with great axes even sword and shield so historically speaking a barbarian woman is accurate.

MM yeah walked out of a session once myself. The guy DMing had introduced a new character one-on-one while we sat around, and then the whole time two of us out of the four already in a group were trying to get answers about stuff he sat playing some pokemon game on his hand held and barely responding. The poor new person just sat there. When I wasn't doing stuff I talked to him about our characters previously having known each other to help establish a way to get him into the group, but.... Yeah. The DM for the millionth time gave us a vague "No/I don't know" from the PC we were interrogating about his own family *being picked off and murdered*, so I just started packing, said "Yep this isn't for me." DM looked up all "Sorry. I'm just a bad DM." I rolled my eyes like "no kidding Sherlock." he looked a bit devastated and as I left I heard the others saying "I like your game." and him mumbling he didn't think he wanted to keep playing tonight. He had nothing written, nothing planned. IDK what he wanted to happen. I wish it had occurred to me to say "Hey, I write stories and stuff, do you want to put the game on hold and hash out what it is you want to actually happen, like co-DM? Flesh out your NPCs and make some plot?" He was a teen and I an adult so I felt he could benefit and learn to grow as a DM, but I didn't think of it until I was part-way home from the long drive and didn't want to turn around. Felt bad for a while because I could have helped him grow, but ultimately this wasn't my problem.

me, listening to last story: /seethes in monk

Lady in third story, I suggest if the guy laughs off you torturing the character because "aww wookit the cute widdle woman it thinks it's people", which is the vibe I'm getting, it's time to start breaking fingers for real.

It seems to be very difficult to make Grimdark into something that isn't cringey and childish.

"there weren't Japanese people in medieval Europe" except that time a Portuguese (?) Missionary brought Christianity to feudal Japan and brought new converts to 16th century Europe to meet the Pope

"The fleshy substance dismembers you." "Wait. What was the attack roll." "You don't get an attack roll. It's the fleshy substance's reaction." "Right. The fleshy substance made an attack of opportunity, so WHAT WAS IT'S ATTACK ROLL?" "It didn't have to roll." "Then I don't have to be dismembered." Seriously, though, good on OP for sacrificing himself and walking out. What a HORRIBLE DM.