When your child comes out | Reuben Kaye

When your child comes out | Reuben Kaye | TEDxCurrumbin

Рет қаралды 39,227

2 жыл бұрын

After appearances on ABC, Channel 4 and BBC’s You’re Fired, multi-award winning, Australian comedian, singer and self proclaimed part-time hood ornament Reuben Kaye is the danger man to watch. With an acid wit and casual sensationalism, Kaye is fast, on the edge and brutally funny. A dazzling phantasm of anachronistic showbiz - an explosion of sequins, lashes and teeth, a much needed, hysterically funny, swarovski studded revolt against the ever narrowing views of an increasingly conservative world. Reuben Kaye is what happens when you tell your children they can be anything.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 133

@farscape1076 9 ай бұрын

I could listen to Reuben talk for hours. So much truth and heart.

@mattyd3079 2 жыл бұрын

That 17 minutes went so fast. I was spellbound. I have to admit I didn't get half the jokes... one thing I will take away from this talk is that fathers matter. Beautiful sentiment and so true. A father's love and acceptance is needed. No need for explanation, no need for qualification. Thanks, Reuben, for sharing with us.

@raz6630 Жыл бұрын

This is what happens when the moral fabric of society is neglected and replaced with pseudo-satanic diabolical narcissism and self-worship we have obvious paedophiles and the mentally unwell pandered to and encouraged to the demise of society and themselves.

@mattyd3079 Жыл бұрын

@@raz6630 You sure you replied to the right comment? You have opinions and i respect them. And I don’t necessarily disagree with them either - in the right context. I do understand where you are coming from. In my comment I simply tried to see the positive in what was being said.

@EthanKristopherHartley Жыл бұрын

@@mattyd3079 I can't see what Raz said, but maybe I can offer another couple of things to consider. "Matter" is a little imprecise for this sort of conversation. It could mean "have an impact" or "is important/vital" (which is the impression I get from your answer). "A Father's love and acceptance is needed". Is a beautiful sentiment. But in my experience queer folk who have the love and acceptance of blood family remain (sadly) in the minority. My advice to anyone when listening to a coming out story - especially when presented by a talented orator or storyteller - is to listen to the facts. The emotional side is usually one sided or speculation. But it's almost definitely been pruned and shaped to "fit" the story. Listen to the facts. Empathise with the emotion. And thank the person for sharing. But I don't think any queer person would be able to agree that any blood family member matters simply because they share a few chromosomes! 😁 LGBTQIA+ folk have had to fudge the Family definition a little, but it's given us hugely welcoming round of "chosen family" and each & everyone a family for Christmas. ❤️

@dtg5909 5 ай бұрын

Now there’s an orator. He’s just amazing. ❤

@Ninang363 2 жыл бұрын

My Dad did not understand or like that I was Trans. I came out at 19 (1982). Our relationship was never easy. He eventually paid for my SRS because he knew it was the right thing for me even if he could not understand it. Not bad for a WW II Vet who adopted a kid. Coming out stories are always so personal and amazing...and there are far more of them than we realize. Thank you for that.

@raz6630 Жыл бұрын

@Ninang363 Жыл бұрын

Actually, for me, this is what happened when I received love and understanding. I show up for work every day and save American lives. Do not lecture me about morals. I got my morals and my ethics in check. Maybe you should learn what compassion and empathy are. From your response though I suspect you are a MAGAt. Cruelty for MAGAts IS the point.

@pcole1232 Жыл бұрын

Wonderful speaker,very articulate. Words of wisdom.

@orcamentometallima1345 7 ай бұрын

no way.

@fionasedgwick7424 2 жыл бұрын

What a fabulous speaker. Such a colourful storyteller who has a lot to say. I love you, Reuben!

@dawnkoplitz1825 2 жыл бұрын

You’re such an eloquent speaker. Thank you for all the LGBTQ children you’ve helped by speaking your truth! 🤟🏻

@raz6630 Жыл бұрын

@NKelso 2 жыл бұрын

I love you Reuben - thank you for sharing your experiences and vision with the world! You’re wonderful! ❤️

@cazzdesilva6280 5 ай бұрын

Oh wow. Listening to this man, I’m sobbing. I’m spellbound by his voice, truth, honestly, and humanity. Thank you Ruben. Stay strong and safe. Xx

@handsomeguy2993 Жыл бұрын

You made me laugh, you made me cry but most of all you made me understand. I appreciate your very existence. Thank you and can’t wait till you tour the states.

@billzero7274 6 ай бұрын

I am sorry for the sadness, pain and shame you felt! Happy to know you made it through all those years and are now a happy and proud member of our community ❤❤❤

@SarahColeman-mo2dw Жыл бұрын

Oh it does. I remember that day forever

@justincapp4 2 ай бұрын

What an utterly amazing speech, straight from the heart with flawless delivery, charm and intellect. Inspiring and enlightening, thank you so much for your beautiful insight and humanity. Bravo Reuben you are incredible.

@BrunoDermoumWeb Жыл бұрын

This is a beautiful explanation for coming out. Yes we all know where we were when we did it, who we were with, what the reaction was. Very powerful presentation !

@_brain_junkie 2 жыл бұрын

I adore this man. I think it’s a courageous thing to do, to share your deeply personal experiences to better inform others. Reuben is inspirational, and I know that you hear that word thrown around a lot these days, but I don’t use it very often. I’m waiting for a book next!

@feekett8271 2 жыл бұрын

Hail to the king / queen I nearly started crying because you could feel the pain and you just want to make you stop hurting x Sending my love to everyone who ever had to experience anything like this. You are loved trust me !

@valentincolon7600 5 ай бұрын

Wow 😊 Thank You for this. I’ve recently discovered you Reuben and I’m glad to be able to see and hear you on KZfaq. This was so on the money. I hope more people see and hear what you have to say. Many blessing to you. Thank You

@888bjxjs888 Жыл бұрын

Stunning. Thank you for such a powerful lesson. Glad you exist in the world, Reuben.

@noelgonzalez9549 3 ай бұрын

Everyone needs to watch this.

@olivialewishussey 2 ай бұрын

You are amazing. Im a 42 year old woman and I want to be you when I grow up!!!!

@daleogborn5520 Жыл бұрын

My coming out Story is I showed up in upstate NY with my lover at time we were doing very well financially.. I was 6 ft 180 former military policeman now I was working in hotels and restaurants and was a chef.. no one ever said a crossword to me we had a great time they accepted Steven what they said behind our backs I do not know & don't care ..that was in 99 .. Steven is gone now And so is my parents... The last 4 years of my mother's life was great our relationship was great we talked on the phone and said I love you after each call or mistakes were forgiven 🙏♥️

@Charmien 2 жыл бұрын

I became a fan a few years ago but I’ve never written that hey, I think you have a wonderful aura and it’s very obvious you were born to be an entertainer. Keep being you!

@douglaslay3100 2 жыл бұрын

THIS PERSON IS BRILLIANT. I could write a novel, but I am beyond moved. Thank you Reuben Kaye

@that1monk Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the riveting speech by an intelligent and resilient mind. ❤🏳‍🌈🙏🎉

@LukeShepperd 2 жыл бұрын

This is so incredibly powerful ❤️ thank you Reuben xx

@iamaloha2 6 ай бұрын

What an outstanding motivation speaker. The very best.

@HimanshuSharma-oy9ss 6 ай бұрын

Beautiful, emotional and compelling.

@aoife3571 Жыл бұрын

Brilliant, brave, hilarious, and an extraordinary human being.Thank you Reuben.

@TenaciousDmitchell 2 жыл бұрын

RK you rock! Love your perseverance and confidence.

@Lunaryo 2 жыл бұрын

My eyes won't stop leaking. Absolute legend nailed it!

@die_vegane_hebamme 5 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤️

@Beautyinthechaos2004 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story 💚💚

@SonjaDawn 11 ай бұрын

Thank you. I'm glad I watched!

@scattysafari7742 3 ай бұрын

Apparently he was a huge inspiration for Neil Newborn's interpretation of Astarion in Baldur's gate 3. I can see it.

@nicholascollison3611 Ай бұрын

Brilliant ❤

@rlr126 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your message! Keep being amazing and wonderful YOU!

@warawath 2 жыл бұрын

thank you

@Ummm563 6 ай бұрын

And after all that, what a beautiful person. Thank you.

@andrewaway 5 ай бұрын

Wow. Thank you. ❤

@michaelchailland3616 5 ай бұрын

BRAVO! Well said, well said.

@BERTONI704 4 ай бұрын

Thank you Reuben Muchas gracias Felicidades por tu historia Yo te amor ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@NiahmBrowne 7 ай бұрын

That was very moving x

@pasjasolarazumetipsaalenka8998 6 ай бұрын

🥰🥰🥰 captivating humorous and so so real

@hannamuller515 Жыл бұрын

Beautiful👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@onesunnyday5699 2 жыл бұрын

I love him even more after this 🥰😍💖

@matildewosnjuk7508 6 ай бұрын

Brave. Wish you luck in life.

@Gina_from_VA Ай бұрын

He is so meta!

@nicholasweatherill5766 2 жыл бұрын

The best Ted X I’ve heard. Atleast for me. Amazing and thoughtful I don’t need anymore

@cookyline 2 жыл бұрын

I love you Reuben ❤brilliant and brave!!!

@MrKirby365 Жыл бұрын

I was definitely called a f***ot before I knew what it was and what I was

@ramickstudioproductions005 Жыл бұрын

Crying crying real hard now

@violetgreene4458 2 жыл бұрын

he's a genuinely beautiful human.

@momp57 2 жыл бұрын

Every parent needs to hear this!

@jodiblackman7838 2 жыл бұрын

This is wonderful. Thank you.

@MellaBella1980 2 жыл бұрын

I am 41 and still haven’t come out to my family and a lot of my friends!

@janettegloury3834 Жыл бұрын

And the idea that your friends & family very first reaction can be so powerful, whatever happens next must be terrible. But (easy for me I don't have to do it) think of the relief & strength you may feel when it's done. All good wishes to you

@thestagerocks 2 жыл бұрын

If 1980's Berlin was a human with perfect bone structure...

@johnmccormick1061 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent ❤️ beautifully said ⭐️🤩💙

@vonlipi Жыл бұрын

Reuben you are so very courageous. Love you to bits. I wish my Mom accepted my queerness

@Sechaba00 Жыл бұрын

Wow ❤

@michaelrodriguez2773 Жыл бұрын

Reuben should've been Desire in The Sandman

@penneycason9269 2 жыл бұрын

My beloved came out to me about being trans. Well hello!?!! I responded by calling all support I could. 1994 surgery. I gained a sister. We have celebrated 36 Valentines together. Love love love ❤️

@pmurraymusic Жыл бұрын

HEAR HEAR!!!

@ShivrajParshad 6 ай бұрын

❤

@lazylemymaitland6996 Жыл бұрын

8:13 MATE, NO that feral man, god

@Host_Bogart 2 жыл бұрын

wow

@patjuskiw2418 6 ай бұрын

I remember my father's hands too. 😢

@sheillaa.6964 Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@4zul4_iwnl 2 күн бұрын

he smort

@butterflygirl3359 Жыл бұрын

It’s interesting how he acknowledges the horrors of Communism but criticizes “this” federal government, the USA’s last defense against it.

@njgrant3988 Жыл бұрын

We need batman

@iestynovich 2 жыл бұрын

Divine

@dontbeabutt7786 9 ай бұрын

I f-ing love you Reuben Kaye

@SarahColeman-mo2dw Жыл бұрын

Dang you’re looking good

@arunamehta792 Жыл бұрын

You are human and god loves you. I know these words can't bring peace to your soul but trust me god will bring peace to your life and soul❤

@nathanwright8616 7 ай бұрын

this is so funny

@punksterpride8339 Жыл бұрын

What pronouns does Reuban go by? I googled it but couldn't find the info

@MoonlightNothing 2 жыл бұрын

💔

@elisabethkanter 8 ай бұрын

This guy is a predator if you’ve seen his other work

@onesunnyday5699 2 жыл бұрын

Tough room. Nobody laughs 😬🙄

@PatGeo95 2 жыл бұрын

❤️🏳️‍🌈🇦🇺

@paulsnow1289 5 ай бұрын

What a freak 🤣

@KlausSchwab-cy3ob Жыл бұрын

Reuben, stop saying you look like Cruella DeVille, you look like a groomed up version of the Joker

@user-ju8ec1ru9h 13 күн бұрын

This is not God's doing.

@I-AM-SKYTRISS Жыл бұрын

PERHAPS SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL IDENTIFY AZ G O D,,,, MAKE UP THEIR OWN DED AZ CREATOR OV HEAVEN AND EARTH,,, SHOW DED OV OWNERSHIP.. AND TAKE OVER THIS INSANE WORLD ! JUST A THOUGHT

@mariya4539 Жыл бұрын

Joker

@carlonedelko7381 Жыл бұрын

Doesn't look.intimidating just looks tragically sad looking desperately for recognition.

@patrickarky116 Жыл бұрын

They give Ted talks to any weirdo, these days!!!!!!!!!!

@SB-iy9vn 8 ай бұрын

if your child comes out you have failed as a parent

@InfernoPhoenix123 3 ай бұрын

If ur child can't come out to you then you've failed as a parent

@SB-iy9vn 3 ай бұрын

@@InfernoPhoenix123 nope it means you have one They will know and follow the truth

@miroslav-mikhayeljuric-de3yp Жыл бұрын

Nothing about him is respectable.

@Iknowyeshuaisking Жыл бұрын

Jesus is lord, Jesus is the most wonderful being that is, Jesus is excellent, wonderful and beautiful. I love Jesus, Jesus loves us too.

@HaTer-xs8sh Жыл бұрын

Ew. What is that thing

@thegoddess1976 Жыл бұрын

You should post a picture of yourself .... so we can also judge

@HaTer-xs8sh Жыл бұрын

@@thegoddess1976 at least I’m not a freak

@dianemason9092 Жыл бұрын

Your finished

@rolandmorrison8224 2 жыл бұрын

Did you know that Tedx hosted an event by a woman named Mirjam Heine that stated that the P word is an actual orientation? Did you also know that many of us know, firsthand, that most of the lauded and praised manifestations of modern-day "orientation" are the actual product of the P word? Is it right to say that the damage is done, it is what it is...the ship has sailed....and "I am what I am--deal with it"? Is it right to think that way when P was the original cause for so many of these situations? Maybe that's why a certain community that is partially epitomized in this video just so happens to be more accepting of P than everyone else, since, they were the victims of it....usually. People say Tedx is for the intelligent and scholarly. Is that really the case?

@marcz8625 2 жыл бұрын

You felt the need to comment? But edited your comment and still doesn’t really make sense. What do you really want to say? Just say it and be authentic. Oh and if you have nothing good to say, say nothing. Like your mum would have explained at some stage.

@stevenwren2784 2 жыл бұрын

I'm struggling to think what the P-word is

@_brain_junkie 2 жыл бұрын

@@stevenwren2784 me too 🧐 I’m struggling with all of it to be honest, but I’m not that bothered about having broken down.

@SB-xs8js Жыл бұрын

I thought the same