You are likely the toxic one.

Really .. are you absolutely positive YOU AS A XHILD HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TOXICITY IN YOUR FAMILY OR HOW YOU TREATED YOUR PARENTS OR BEEN FOOLISH ENOUGH TO CHOOSE THE ADVICE OF A NEW PARTNER OR BF OR GF THAT YOU WERE QUICK TO OUT ABOVE YOUR OWN PARENTS??

@@badado IF YOU YELL LIKE THIS IT MAKES YOU SOUND EMOTIONALLY STABLE

​@badado when we type in all caps, people consider it to be yelling ❤

@@badadosettle down their boomer

Wonderfully put, very on point 👌🏻, thank you ✨

Thank you for sharing your experience. A relationship to parents not willing to introspect can be tough terrain to navigate 💯. All the best to you 💖

Be the bigger person! Be tough! Don't let their weaknesses steal the relationship.

More so now than ever.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! My impression is that it's become more of a topic of wide public awareness and discussion these days. Also, estrangement is different from cutting the metaphorical umbilical cord, which is a topic I feel has more of a longstanding tradition...

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​@@DrMaikaSteinbornI too think estrangement, have gone on forever in human history. But it is a family taboo subject and filled with a lot of shame too it publicly. So i think previous in history, it just was not a subject too be discussed or admitted too others, outside the family unit. Its a very shamefull and taboo thing too be, or too talk about with others, that you or others are in your family with each other. No one likes too tell other people, that their family has fallen apart. Others will judge it harshly and start think bad of you. If you are an parent, whose child have cut you of, you risk other people thinking you most have done something really bad and abusive too that child, for that child too have estranged from you and remain unwilling, to reconcile with you. The more time that goes on with a child - parent estrangement, the more evident it becomes for others, that there was abusive or abandonment involved. Small things can be reconciled in time. Seriously abuse, can not. Children don't orphan themselves generally, without very good reasons for doing it, no matter what the other parent says too them, bad mouthing the other parent. Reconciliation always happens in general, if no emotional/ violence/ sexual or neglect abuse or abandonment, happened. No one rejects an other good or empathy kind hearted human being. Somebody fucked up the relation. In every relationship there is two people, but only one is needed too fuck it up. The harsh reality i think your video neglects, is the sad reality of when it becomes necessary for a child, too flee away from an unfit abusive parent, never too return again and orphan themselves, to protect themselves from more abuse or more neglect or a toxic lying person. Some children may even start fearing for their life, if subjected too seriously abuse from an parent and it may even, be a real thing. That the parent is subjecting the child too so harsh abuse, it becomes a matter of life or death, for the child too get away alive, from that parent, both physically abuse or really psychological abuse, like deaththreats or use of physically intimidation. The child can later get pstd and commit suicide, if subjected too horrors as a child. - No sane adult child that has been seriously abused as a child from a parents side, would ever let their own small children now, be alone with their previously abusive parent as a grandparent, now. Many parents i think crossed the line into child abuse during anger or rage outburst and some, totally over the unforgivetable line, never too be crossed, did. And then they start denying that they did so and they don't want too take responsibility for it afterwards and runs away, abandoning their children and estrangement happens forever then. Deadbeats toxic abusive parents. They don't want too take responsibility, but blame the other parent for it, because they love themselves more themselves, not wanting too risk criminal charges as a child abuser, too be uncovered by other. Run away from the consequences and deny it forever and hope, no criminal charges come to fuck up their own life. You can always get a new partner and make new children, with that partner, if you are still young. But child abuse convictions, are an lifetime consequence following one. So they run away and deny it forever and starts a new family up again afterwards. Children are dispensibel for abusive- and toxic parents. Children can also drive an parent too cut them of, if the child is toxic and the abuser, but its more likely the other way around, because the parent have the physical power in the relation, when the child was just a child. Nobody can really convince an child, that their parent is bad, if that parent is not, but an empathic kind hearted non abusive person. If you as a parent are confidential with your child and your child adores you, then its really hard too break than bond up, no matter who you are then. Nobody can badmouth my mother too me for example, because i won't believe them. She is a very kind hearted person, i trust with my life and always have been close to. All human beings live with two overall fears in life. That's it. The first one is biological vulnability. Emotional and physical etc. All human beings must 24/7, all the time treat other human beings with empathy, love, care and respect their security feelings. If you subject other people too intentional fear emotionally or physically, you risk the consequences of the second overall fear. The second overall fear, is the fear of being cut out or estranged. Its just logical, that what you make other people feel, will make them act on those feelings. If you cross the red line and makes other people afraid or subject them too crimes/ seriously abuse and horrors, they will estrange you then for life. Just because you share the same blood, don't give you a free grencard too treat other people poorly.

That’s tough 💔

Probably because the brother is close to you

I'm so sorry ❤

If you don’t know why you’ve been estranged, then that is a huge part of the problem. You are saying that you’re not tuned in to your child, and that you’re not close. My mother claims she doesn’t know but: I’ve begged for her to treat me kindly my whole life, she never lets me finish a sentence, she “corrects” me constantly - of course she doesn’t know!! Ironic.

@dianagarrison3138 I hope you have told her exactly that and tried to reconcile ❤️

☺️🙏🏻☀️

What?

@Art_lover_4f4 there are low life types who think women owe men a relationship because they're friendly and employed. Parents saying their adult children owe them a relationship because they're their parents is the same thing

So you're saying it's okay for parents to ABUSE children. By abuse, I mean constantly screaming at them, constantly criticizing them, constantly putting them down, beating them to the point they are left bruised or bleeding, backhanding them across the face, and so forth. Wow. In other words, you're saying The Bible is PRO child abuse. Gotcha. So tell me, Mr. Righteous, did you spend you're childhood walking on eggs, like I did? Did you have a mother who NEVER saw you as a human being, but as a SLAVE, whose sole purpose for being was to serve HER, like I did? Did you have a mother who, no matter what you do or how hard you try was NEVER happy, because it was NEVER enough? Were you ever diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, like I was? Do you have to struggle living with PTSD every day for the rest of your life, like I do? Oh wait, ACCORDING TO YOU, I DESERVED THE ABUSE!! ACCORDING TO YOU, I DESERVED THE BEATINGS!! ACCORDING TO YOU, I DESERVED THE CONSTANT CRITICISM AND THE CONSTANT PUT DOWNS. ACCORDING TO YOU, I DESERVED TO GET PTSD. Right?

Treating children like they owe you eternal allegiance for you doing the bare minimum shows a lack of love and consideration for other human beings

@@bafelix89 It's a wonder that most parents don't kick their children out on their 18th birthday and ghost them because of all the anxiety they caused.

@@MsMollah oh poor you. You had to raise a child you chose to have.

@@bafelix89 Some people choose to get married or choose to have children, it can still be traumatic.

@MsMollah yes we're all very sorry you forced to do the bare legal requirement to the children you brought into this world

True!

Which studies are you referring to? (I’m genuinely interested.)

Wow. That's exactly what my youngest son is like, except for the drugs. He imagines all kinds of things happened that did NOT. I've sent mine birthday gifts, every few months I text, simply, "thinking about you today. Love Mom." Never a response. I've given up. The blame goes to social media that supports bad behaviour and lies, lies, lies about everything.

I agree. Parents are not always as bad as modern phsychologist want to say

Exactly

If your child has gone no contact it’s because you have abused them or you have enabled abuse, full stop.

No, it's self entitlement.

If the adult child at fault and chooses to leave. How does that make sense. If the child was the problem then why complain that they left.

So glad you said this. Some adult offspring are bullies and it is not the fault of the parents actually. There are lots of different reasons- some genuine some not. Very sad indeed x

Agreed 💯

Before the internet and smartphones, this never happened . I live in the Midwest, and my children live in California. It's also got worse after my oldest son died. Their father remarried, and the respect we had for each other before doesn't exist anymore. I never talked bad about him to my children. They rarely send pictures of my grandchildren, unless I ask... 😢 I pray everything gets better for you. 🙏

@@Art_lover_4f4 I agree. Past decades, this not talking to parents, never happened. These grown adult kids think they are entitled to everything. My kids were absolutely loved and taught human decency - both of which they lack to me, their mom, but also to others. They have NO friends.

@@Art_lover_4f4 it absolutely happened before the internet. Be real

Bullshit. She gave you a reason and you brushed it off saying "you didn't have it bad" or "I'm sorry I wasn't perfect"

@@bafelix89 sometimes - they don't know the reason. It's just easier to not talk about anything and leave people behind. Karma. Mark my words, what goes around, comes around. THEIR CHILDREN WILL DO THE EXACT SAME THING TO THEM.

@@sallydeppe8575 nice story you made up to make yourself feel better

@sallydeppe8575 sounds like something someone who can't take responsibility would say

Incorrect

If you as the child feel shame to the point you have to disappear, think about why. Children should feel safe with their parents and be able to come to them with their shame ,lay it bare and get support. That’s a parents job. But what if your parent turns your vulnerable moments into jokes, tells your ‘stories’ to others for attention or entertainment value? What if instead of being heard and understood, then guided and supported through difficulty you were left feeling even more alone and raw? Then yes, absolutely stop taking your vulnerable self to people who treat you roughly. And if you have kids of your own you probably want to shield them from feeling the way you always did, so that’s even more reason. Shame should never keep kids away from healthy good parents. Too bad so many adult kids can not trust their parents anymore and have to hide parts, if not all of their lives from them.

For example?

Lol lol

You are WRONG!

I like what you said: "No contact is their coping mechanism." But it doesn't solve THEIR mental problems. A therapist or 2 have said that if a person doesn't get help with their thoughts, problems, issues, whatever you want to call them, by the time they are 50 years old, THEY WILL COME OUT IN SOME BAD DIMENSION. It must be addressed - that is the reason people do drugs, alcohol, rage, and suicide. Two people in my family that needed counseling the most, screamed that their was nothing wrong with them! OMG.

Did she cut you off in your teen years cus "you were a horrendous teen"? Grow up and stop blaming ONLY YOUR MOM! Pretty sure you have something to do with the mess. Why? Cus you're human and relationships take TWO and lots of work. Get counseling and get your own head om straight.

Do what I did. Write and email to that therapist about your side of the story. That is actually an act of love for your son cus there are 3 sides to every story: Yours, mine, and the correct side.

Oh yes it does. I'm done calling, I think they get off on not answering the phone. I saw it happen before when they cut my aunt off when her father was dying. Wouldn't let her see or speak to him for 40 days. It's a sick dynamic, and I'm in therapy to get better. Nobody is willing to work on themselves, it is what it is. Can't even express if something hurts your feelings, you get shot and shut right down. Emotional cripples.

I get tired playing catch with mannequins...

Didn't I just say that 5 mins. ago? Are you and I sharing the same brain? hehehehehe. Selfishness is the root of all relationship breakdowns. It leads to, "I deserve", ..........fill in the blank.