Well stated. Dr. C

My flying monkey ' cousin A' always tells me how helpful 'cousin W" could be... both are the World's Worst Listeners.

Yes! I think you're right. Good thinking. 👌🏼

They’re cowardly people who get off on being in the shadow of a bully or they’re covert bullies themselves…

Dara McCluskey has it right. Also, they feel abused by and inferior to the narcissist, they just never had the courage to leave. They leave as soon as you leave (because they are followers) ...which, in turn, makes YOU the big boss.😉

Truth!

I would say, I’m more disappointed in the the flying monkey. It’s the new supply and her lack of concern for her children or mine, is beyond my thought process. How it why does she let him get away with the stuff he does.

This was true for me as I was once friends with them but they have been taken over by this foul person sadly. I have to give them a wide berth now though I speak. Yes I expect it from the narc but I didn't expect the hostility of mt so called friends. Ah well. Glad I'm not part of the harem......

@@kimberlycyr2814 she doesn't love herself and shes just 'chum' for the narc.

@@augamemnon i agree 100%. It’s sad. Especially for a mom to have so little regard for the children. I always called him out and that was the cause of most of our fights. He was such a bully to the kids. Geez

Why are they always whining about stupid stuff

Yes!! Spot on!!

Spot on! So immature! Young teenagers lol

I was just thinking it reminds me of the playground when kids get picked on.

So true

I think they are gullible people that enjoy all the perks of narcissism without getting their hands too dirty!

Me too. All the ones I’ve met are Narcissists

Agreed 100 percent.. and in my mind that makes them worse... enablers tend to be ignorant flying monkeys are a second evil 😡

They're weak, wanna-be, narcissists!

I agree. My many, many in-laws on my husband's side were so brainwashed into seeing my FIL as Mr. Walks on Water that they became blind to anything in his life, actions, demeanor that contradicted that narrative he created about himself. Instead, they basked in his reflected glory, as the saying goes, completely identifying themselves with him. Very, very cultish thinking and functioning. Even though my FIL died some years ago, the in-laws still mentally orient around him as an icon to be worshipped. Yet, now that two of his now-grown grandsons have claimed that he molested them as very young boys (the fallout from which those two young men are now struggling to recover), remaining members of the extended family are enraged and "circling the wagons" around the man's self-made reputation. Without any evidence pro or con, nor having spoken to and listened to the two grandsons, they all reject out of hand that their father/FIL/grandfather might have done such a heinous thing. Instead, the remaining in-laws are busy maligning the grandsons who made the accusation. Their enduring vested interest in the now-dead man is shocking and appalling, indicating how thoroughly he held sway over them. It would make for a book, only one ugly, repulsive tale as far as I'm concerned. And my husband's siblings are now writing their own books as they perpetuate "the sins of the father" onto yet another generation.

Exactly this

Agreed!

Truth!

Yep. All will get their just rewards. 😊

They are narcs too....just at a different 'status level' in the Group. Little Narcs in training is more like it....

@@jacquelinefroehle5868 They are all narcissistic as well. Just beta narcissists.

Yes, and they don't see how it is merely a mirage. Dr. C

Matter of time before the narcissist turns on his flyin monkies because he fears they shall turn on him

It is a law of the Universe, if somebody aids an opressor, he will turn on him You just need to sit back & enjoy the show of Universe Justice :)

I feel that. Narcs are extremists, and they know they can only control extreme people. They don't know what to do with someone who is more balanced.

You don't like them also. Be careful, and keep your distance from them. I would pray for God's discernment and protection from evil.

YOU ARE THERE TO MAKE A LIVING AND THEN GO HOME. SIDESTEP THE NARCS. GO GRAY ROCK IF YOU HAVE TO OR IGNORE THEM WHEN THE NARCS TRY TO PRESSURE YOU.

That's most certainly ok that they don't like you, they are definitely not your friend. Narcissists goal and objective is to use and abuse others they don't care about anyone else and will stoop to any unjust gutter level means to get what they want and believe that they are totally justified in doing it. They are master manipulators and master deceivers. They are looking to recruit flying monkeys the ones that people them up and constantly stroke and fawn their fragile egos. The flying monkeys are the narcs enablers. Keep your high standards of integrity and self respect and do not be allured into their web of toxicity and deceit. Narcissists have done tremendous damage to people's lives and they do not care. They are out to satisfy and gratify themselves at any costs toward others. Always stand for what is right even if you have to stand alone it is well worth it.

They don't like themselves either. Happy ppl don't get off on destroying others.

Yes, this is true.

I had to become a monster for the duration of one half hour quarrel. I haven't looked back. I did this spontaneously when suddenly I was triggered into enormous anger. Healthy anger. There is such thing as destructive anger , but there is also healing anger.

Yep. Don't fight with pigs.

EXACTLY 💯 💯 💯

I find it harder to deal with these people. They are like gnats swarming us! I managed to go no contact with the narcs, but the flying monkey is relentless in seeking out contact with me.

I despise them also and they were immediate family members. Absolutely no good, sorry excuses for human beings. Best gift you can give yourself is to cut ties completely. Best thing I ever did. I have peace and joy in my life now. So very grateful.

@@77ulrike true...when the narc can no longer get to you the FM kicks in.. sadly, they can be worse than the narc fueling them.

Yes, the many monkeys I knew had me fooled. Partly because I was a mess but because they were two faced as well.

@@yvettecunningham5496 So do I Yvette. They are hideous low life’s and good for nothing. I wish I could write a book. It’s a miracle I survived what happened to me. Cutting them out about 6 years ago was the best thing I ever did!

Yep, the greed is real.

Exactly, I see how their sense of entitlement to something they never earned is their end game.

I think you’ve nailed it!! Spot on

Lame excuse

The Flying Monkey is content to let others think for him. He doesn't want to have to lead or figure things out for himself. FMs are plentiful, and live vicariously through the host, as the doctor said.

@@juliechurch1799 flying monkeys by their nature are lame.

August . They belong with the narc then . Two of a kind 😆

Yuup😊

Or they’re accused of living in the past!

Or 'paranoid'

.. or not spontaneous (if you want some degree of planning), not flexible (if your opinions/ preferences are somewhat constant)

It is true

Thank You Jesus Christ ❗ ❤️ I've Had Never Been Exposed To This Flying Monkeys, Until I Started To Understand NPD.. Narcissistic Personally Disorder! May The Most High GOD Continue To Bless You Always 🌹🙏🙏🙏😇💯 Memphis

Exactly

And attention. Narcs are attention whores....Flying monkeys are little narcs in training

@@jacquelinefroehle5868 I watched her grandchildren grow up before my eyes, sacrificed to grandma Medusa by their parents (God only knows what she did to them privately), and they are all young adult carpet riders now….narc juniors, stunted, and socially awkward (they freeze up when you try to give them a hug). It’s sad and infuriating at the same time. Talk about cognitive dissonance! I pray at least one of them finds their way into therapy to work through their abuse, and right their tainted souls.

@@jacquelinefroehle5868 💯

You get it, Peter. Dr. C

Yes & this explains how children can become so easily co-opted. I am thinking of young adult kids who are capable of their own manipulation but also depend on the narcissistic parent for resources.

Beautifully put. Exactly that. 💯

@@amyleigh9417 been there, done that. Great insight.

@@amyleigh9417 just like me i am co-dependent for my shelter and other things with my narcissist parents.They emotionally abuses myself from my age 20(in 2015) to till 2020(my age 25).but now in 2021 i started to ignore her emotionally and detached with her. But still she yells,screams,guilt trips,verbal threats same to same like she did before.Grey rock method is not working for me because i am co dependent with her.

Maybe they want to feel like part of Something? Good question. I wonder the same. I keep coming back to them being immature.

Surprised no one else brought this up. It's very true and this probably causes cognitive dissonance in flying monkeys.

That's true, by offering free dinners, free movie tickets, free gifts, Of course my narc sisters do that all the time then they turn and say oh its time for do favors now and then the smear campaign begins.

oh yes flying monkeys have a savior complex. And wilfully blind with a strong need to get all the information on everybody. They fancy themselves as a kind of neutral Switzerland but they always defer to the narcissist even if they don't show you that.

Absolute truth. And the non-N partner always wonders why the N will do so much for other people, but nothing good for them. 🤔

They have to get used to the new you. You do you💪🧡

@@Picca65I agree & in some respects, it throws them off-center, though they continue on their path! It is beyond my thinking (from my normal range of thinking) how they forge ahead with their blaring & complete “lack of awareness”, utterly checked out as to why something happened & not bother to ask “why”! I do realize, however, that's not in the make-up of the Narcissist to ask follow-up questions or care to know the answers (after all they're the forever victim, right)? Thanks to Dr. Carter for providing such insight into the mindset of the Narcissist! They believe themselves to be always right & the one connected to them is the cause of all their problems, plus their alternate reality cannot process (the reality)!

@@brynnleapierce5600 that's exactly what happens. They have their distorted "reality"

One of my favorite narc behaviors to observe is the DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

They hate to lose that 'supply'.

Well done, it takes courage sometimes to stand up to immoral people.

I was one to. It's wonderful to be clean. In my case, breaking free from the clutches of the narc was challenging. I can only assume yours was as well. Best wishes.

Good for you! Me too!

Good Wish you all the best 💙

DeeLightning,Hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

I think there is a tipping point. If you have enough elevated people in an organization or a group, this doesn’t happen. But if you get a narcissist in a leadership role, everyone establishes a scapegoat and aligns themselves with the narcissist so that the scapegoat won’t be them.

That's right...Trauma bonding....

My heart goes out to you ,,,

This is what's going on with my ex and his flying monkeys.He brags that he helps a lot of ppl,he left out he was helping them to get them to terrorize me.

😢💔🩹

Totally agree!!

Rose Wagner,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

Instead of handing over all their power? Yeah.. that would be logical in order to protect oneself. Don't hand weapons to someone threatening you.

Totally agree

TOTALLY HOLLOW AND JUST DOWNRIGHT EVIL.

So pleased for this feedback...and I'm honored to be on the journey with you. Dr. C

Or the father .

@@jc4r20n8 Indeed. Sad all around for either parent to do this.

Amen! So glad for you.

Excellent description. Well said!

Yes, the narc´s follower cave in to -usually only perceived- power and expecting rewards for finking. The narcissist´s game is only a house of cards , which the the flying monkeys keep it in place. It is amazing to me, how even the very shy, humble narcissist, I am dealing with, will turn into a convincing bully , when he sees an opportunity. You are right, it is sick.

Become a flying monkey or you'll become the target; a brilliant recruitment strategy!

Exactly! The FM doesn’t want to be a victim so they willingly comply. What a sick mentality…and sad.

Excellent point! I was the only one in my family that would stand up to my father. I can’t stand to see people being abused. Well that’s what got me the role of family scapegoat. They would never do the same for another person like I did. They just want to be safe and to hell with the poor target!

I think as a former flying monkey it just hit me you are right. Being pampered by the narc was supply - in exchange for being someone I wasnt and alienating others. I just thought the narc was right, I was wrong, and thats just how life was done.

@@sage9836 Same here- I think back on some things & think wow! I thought I was being a "good wife" but found out later how he used it for that other person's demise😔So grateful I am not in that 💩show anymore- Team healthy🤗🤗

One thing the narc will never realize is Father will double everything that is taken from us- they can take/turn our kids & grandkids against us- take our friends- destroy our so called homes but someday it will be increased- Father stays close to the broken hearted & knows who tried to be a Proverbs 31 wife-

"Christian" narcs hardly ever actually READ the Bible. Take notice and you will see this.

@@anyways661 At best, skimmed over it with no Honor or respect for the Lord it teaches us about.

@Blue Butteryfly Did you ever think you could be a narc? Saying a comment like that is exactly what a narc would do. Think about it. lol

@Blue Butteryfly You came into my channel attacking me just because I said flying monkey's are weak. lol, you keep attacking me no matter what I say. So who is attacking who? You just called me a bully, hypocritical and witch. lol. Keep proving me right about you being a narc. You are acting just like a narc. lol. Come at me again now. lol. I have not went into your comment or channel attacking you. I just posted my opinion on flying monkeys. By the way, why does me staying flying monkeys are weak trigger you so much? It was just my opinion. Nothing more.

Now now ladies . Here for support . 😃

I think fly monkeys are weak as well . Someone tried to make me one and I said no . It felt wrong . So making excuses for these horrible creatures .

@@juliechurch1799 So true Julie. This is not the place for such drama.

You're on it!

What did you say?

There’s also often a smear campaign that’s happened against the Target to encourage the FMs to also hate and even mob the Target. 🎯

Called mine a loser.

@@echase416 Just what has happened to me. Exnarc has turned a number of people against me.

Exactly! Some don’t care for the narcissist but willingly do the dirty work because they know they are going to get a pay out.

@@echase416 Yes, my evil egg donor made up such a horrible lie about me that they all attacked me with a vengeance. I still can’t get over her smear campaign.

Especially when it concerns family relations. You want to keep the peace but it is very toxic, very fake and it costs so much energy.

Yes. My mother always says to just stay quiet and “Not start WWIII.”

My guess is they had a narcissistic mother and spent a lifetime sucking up to them just to get a little love and attention, so this pattern is a way of life to them.

As a recovering flying monkey I can say that I was just trying to be the good and submissive wife I thought I should be. I have had a very people pleasing personality and affirmation seeking personality. I didn’t want to stir up any trouble. I came from women who were the quiet wife and were there to be happy and be the arm of the husband. I thought all that went wrong was because I was not doing it right. If I could just get it all right then all would be happy and well. It did not feel quite right what was happening to me but I just couldn’t get past that what was going on was some how my fault. He used that to his benefit. After a lot of misuse and abuse, my eyes have been slowly opening to it. It makes me feel a whole slew of emotions knowing I’ve been manipulated and used by someone I’m supposed to wholeheartedly trust. Still trying to work through this. Feel alone because I’ve left friends behind in the wake of this. Edited response: Been thinking about why I was a flying monkey. I don’t think I’ve ever had a real sense of who I am and never really took time to delve into that. I was just going with the general flow of things- not wanting to stir up trouble. Wanting to please everyone. I’m no saint but at the risk of being the one responsible for causing trouble- I DID NOT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON! I wanted to be seen as “ the good person”. Ive lived my life up until recently trying to live according to what others ideals are. Very stressful way to live , trying to live to make everyone around me happy. I’ve sold many of friend out in my day just so I would have the kind light over me. Now I’m seeing that playing victim or hiding in the shadows is cowardly on my behalf. I don’t have to be mean spirited to get my point across OR a “victim” unwilling to stand up for herself. I can be honest and assertive. And be at peace because I want health for myself and others surrounding me. I have to truly want what’s good for everyone! I am thankful for all of Dr. Les Carter’s videos. They have helped me in so many ways!!!

@@pumpupthejam28 You WILL find and make new friends. It takes getting out from under the abusive narcissist to begin that new journey, as you're finding. First, though, you need to allow enough time to regain a sense of who you really are and who you want to be as a freed person. Get counseling, if possible, or find a support group for those recovering from narcissistic abuse. That you were strong enough to eventually recognize what had been going on speaks volumes for you. You DO have strength, and the core of it is sincerity bounded by honesty. Jesus says, "You shall know truth, and truth will set you free." Sticking with the lies and cooperating with those who tell them and live by them would only keep you in their prison. Walk free, instead, knowing that your husbands' evil is behind you, with the expanded possibility for much good lying ahead.

There are books out there about how to keep some thread of connection to a loved one, when you suspect that the person are being brainwashed and abused. One title was "Helping Her Get Free," another had a title something like "How to be an anchor in the storm" -- I understand how painful and frustrating your position is-- I have been in your daughter's position (and eventually broke free) and I have watched my brother stay with a deceitful and manipulative narc for over thirty years. I know that sometimes one has to detach for one's own sanity, but I hope that before you do that, you can do your best to let your daughter know that you love her and that "the door is always open."

this is truly sick when children turned against other parent

Yes, God have mercy on us - we need it. Unfortunately in the usa our unhealthy maniacal unbalanced drive for individualism is eating us alive - from the inside out. For instance, in communication systems we look at how people's cultural values are expressed. In considering the USA & Japan we in the USA, with great expanse of land feel free to spread out, do "our "thing, free to express just about whatever we want with no repercussions. In Japan with their different spiritual sensibilities, for their survival, they all must learn to get along on their small islands. I assert the best example of our unique u$A breeding narcissism is the comparison of mass shootings, road rage & the financial industrial complex. And the behaviors of elected officials who set the tone. I assert the best, albeit sad, example of flying monkeys is the swarming of our Capitol of 1/6/21.

@@lindalouise3391 dictators are individuals, sick ones. Communist dictators too. "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others" Orwell At the end, pigs become as cruel and oppressive as human farmers.

You can't be upset with a kid that is bullied and threatened into telling. We/they literally couldn't have known and expecting a child to comprehend something as taboo and against everything as "your parent shouldn't be trusted, they don't have your best interest in mind" is inconceivable to an adult.

@@tahwsisiht yes, irrefutably dictators are sick thus, we are in agreement. However, my focus is here in the usa where I live. We in the usa have so many problems we need to focus on. By the focus on a dictator in another county, imo, distorts & minimizes our OWN very serious deadly dysfunctional issues. I am curious - how you feel about our country?

Nicole, always follow that gut feeling. My biggest mistake was ignoring mine. I don't do that anymore, never let's me down.

You are so welcome. You're why I do these videos.

Just make stuff up. Gaslight them back.

I relate...my mother convinced my two siblings (and I sure many other people) that I am a liar and crazy and a bad person. Nonetheless, I refuse to be quiet about the horrific abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents aggravated by my brother and sister as enablers. I am in recovery from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And no contact has given me enough time and distance to do a lot of healing. Best wishes to you.

A flying monkey accidentally let slip that she, the narc, was telling everybody that I have bi-polar. I find it hilarious! She clearly did not know me at all. No contact is wonderful. Freedom at last.

There seems to be a certain type of person who is not able to believe the worst about anyone. I have come to the conclusion that if you want to decimate someone, do something that is so bad that no one will believe the target.

After being a target . I will never be a fly monkey . Someone tried to get me to be one and I said I'm not going be a fly monkey for you or owt . But if I had not experienced narc abuse might of happened cos I would not of known . So I see how easy these monkeys can be caught . It's weird .

My guesses: Brainwashed. Or just timid Machiavellians hiding in a narcs shadow.

@@sage9836 the narcs are VERY manipulative my son is with one, she has twisted his brain!

@@lilasfaves7846 hope he can find his way out of that mess ASAP

They seem to hide behind each other...

Yes all of this

Yes yes and yes.. you wee it all the time some are just sheep many are sheep in wolves clothing who didn't quite make it to the top of the pack

By the time I was in high school I was done with cliques. It always seemed to me that there was a leader (narcissist), some followers (flying monkeys) and a scapegoat. I thought I was done but the same thing happened again in high school and even in graduate school-a clique formed around me and someone got scapegoated. I was always the follower or the scapegoat, never the leader, so to get out I always had to detach and do my own thing. Very lonely but I had no choice. I am not going to live as a flying monkey or a scapegoat ever again.

I think FMs are basically cowards.

It is even worse when it is small town government. Your taxpayer dollars at work. And no accountability.

Like the police force…? A high percentage can integrate and loiter there: with an aspect of covert control (or overtly) as we saw at the Feb Clapham Common, London feminist rally/Sarah memorial despite the fact, she was killed by a (stranger) policeman, who planned it. By their actions shall yea know them…

Thanks for this good food for thought! Dr. C

Even if you don't know the reality, you can't hurt someone if they don't have caused trouble for you. Call yourself a fearful bully instead of ignorant.

Yes and it's terribly frustrating because even if they do mean well, they invalidate your point of view. Often it hasn't even occurred to them to hear it because narcs can be such master manipulators. A smarter observer might question why they're being encouraged to get involved in something that is none of their business. Which reminds me, some flying monkeys are bored and like the drama.

We are primal living breathing creature on a dangerous planet. When someone is that cruel and heartless handing over your power to them is an incredibly dysfunctional sign of lack of survival skill or instinct. There is something very strange about this behaviour and they love to put this spin on it that they are just too nice and we all want to believe them too. But I think deep down they are just ashamed that they are so weak and failing at life so badly and if they could face that, maybe they would heal and strengthen, but they don't want to. They care about how others see them too much. Survival or getting approval? They chose wrong. Maybe they are not that interested in survival? We feel sorry for them but they turn on us in a heartbeat behind our backs in order to keep us overcompensating for their poor survival skills. When will we accept their limitations?

That is deep! This also allows the psychopath option to sort of abandon the victim and not have to deal with the victim directly (in public) , while leaving a smoking grenade in the victims life.

Same situation here too...adult kids are the fly monkeys...to seek his approval. They can not deal with being treated as they saw him treat me. Yet now I am living a happy contented life. They will do crazy making things to get his approval. My adult son had Amazon send me his Wish List, and remind me that it's his birthday. So, I ordered 2 very nice gifts for him. I get a reply that he has contacted the police, and sending gifts to his can be considered stalking him. So he said he can have me arrested for sending him gifts. He 'sets me up' intentionally so that I do something kind and caring for him....then he runs to his Narc Dad with "Dad, Mom is bothering me"....now how ridiculous is that. My daughter does it move covertly but both of them behave Entitled. They think like he does....that some people are 'better than other people'. Oh well....I'm letting it go, surrendering it all to God, and living in Peace and contentment.

They can give me all the silent treatment they like!

Thanks for sharing your story, Elizabeth, bizarro world to say the least.

Creepy!

Maybe you say to the man who doing all these jobs some home truths . And write a letter and say his been an idiot for 50 years . He will certainly wake up when you mum passes and she be laughing . How he not see it . Must be thick 😃

@@juliechurch1799 you are right--he's thick. He's figuring out that something's wrong (with both of them) but it's taken him 50 years. I left and live across the country and am not putting any more energy into that hopelessness.

Glad it was helpful!

Keep learning! Thanks for this feedback. Dr. C

@@SurvivingNarcissism Oh Dr. C. With your help, I now stand tall, I know my worth & I claim my right to speak. No longer do I believe his BS that I’m “Less Than”. I looked him in the eyes and said, “ I did NOT leave a 32yr marriage to an alcoholic, to become an IDIOT!” I use the “ Ass’es & Elbows” Theory on him now. If he DARES to insult me in passing ALL he sees of me is my ASS & MY ELBOWS as I’m walking away. No longer am I his supply. Ladies, They need us WAY MORE than we need them! Watch Dr. C. & these videos will change your life! Im living proof!

Your child may fear retribution. Narcs are *always* innocently interrogating everyone to find out who talks, and what's said. And they're astonishingly adept at teasing lengthy convos out of people who normally don't chat. Ime, absolutely no stone is left unturned. I'm five years NC by choice, but can only guess how you feel. Good luck to both of you.

"The kid hasnt spoken to me" You mean "my son" or "my daughter has not spoken to me" Kids arent objects

The narcissist will punish the child for showing live or concern for the enemy parent.

Ted . So sorry

My narcissistic sister angrily called her 2 year old a "traitor" because he excitedly ran into his father's arms. These sickos know no bounds. They will punish anyone!!!

Almost all working places nowadays. Narcissism is rewarded today. Look at the shows Survivor and Big Brother.

@@JRDavis-hj4si You're spot on. People treat work like a reality TV show with scheming and bullying.

Proud of you that you realized...and it is so good that you choose to remain away from nasty narcs. They corrupt others and use people like things. I pray the tables are turned on them..and they are on the receiving end. And they are given a taste of their own medicine. The flying monkeys too... they are not innocent..

Yeah, they're good over at google. Dr. C