Some would say I'm a loser because I have 1 part time job, no friends or family. Some say that's worthless yet they don't know a year ago I was a drug addict and homeless, it's taken me a while but I've grown out of this addiction, homelessness and had to remove those friends as I rebuild my life, so in a sense I'm not a loser I've actually been slowly willing.

I also think, that why so many people in the world have problem with self-worth, is not just result of parenting , but the society we live in, that tries to keep us in a mode of constantly compare ourselves with others, thus keeping our low self worth/self esteem issues ,so that we buy more products , whether its beauty products, clothes, plastic surgeries ,the list goes on..

the list of positive dark traits was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I absolutely love that, thank you

Ok shes got hundreds of videos but this one here? Mind explosion. Wow.

I experienced both things: feeling like I had to be successful to earn approval. But also feeling that I existed only to the extent that I was meeting other people's needs (well, mother's needs). I was successful for a time but always in debt. Then, as I became spiritual, I became progressively less successful until I obtained my current "loser" (financially, not in reality) status. I did date people that I thought wouldn't leave me. That was important to me. Only recently am I open to a true equal, someone who matches me spiritually as I work on merging my spiritual life and passions with financial success and achievement. I'm gettin' there!

What a beauty you are! even though i am pretty successful, but I do feel low self worth most of the time, i do not feel good hanging out with successful people because it makes me feel less. I am relatively good looking but i always meet unattractive men. I just feel like i can't be good enough. when i was little i was very shy and sensitive and i had to work hard in order to get approval. in school, i had to be the best student in order to have friends, in our middle eastern communities girls are evaluated way differently than males. I want to be who i am really, express myself, loved and feel loved.

You attract what you are. There are many people who are in relationships and they do not love the person that they ware with because they do not love themselves first. That is the key, love yourself 100%, I too have to remind myself about this very thing.

This is so true. I tried so hard to get love by achieving. Nothing was ever good enough for my father.

I love your snort when you laugh and giggle it's uplifting

as an unsuccessful person this video makes me self conscious lol

Teal just read my whole life in this video. She made everything make sense. I’m going to lay down in the fetal position now and rethink my whole life.

I love it when she giggles, so sweet:)

I have to confess that I had to watch the video 3 times to understand it. Complex but perfect! Thanks Teal 😊

That is true i always feel that no partner will stay with me i don´t met his needs. And i sacrifice my own needs to get love but this is not the right way. I am constantly working on it. Thank you Teal

You are wise far beyond your years and provide such insightful information on your videos, this is your gift to the world!

Self-sabbotage is a majore problem that I have.

Love is not mutualism. It is not comfort. It is not being on the same side of a war. It is not blood ties. It is not honor or duty.

So this is the reason why nice guys come last? Teal is right because think about the very very sweetest thing that you would expect for a guy that is love with you to do for you. Whatever that notion is it doesn't even come close to what this guy *would* actually do for you, *thats* how sweet it is. But you simply can't imagine because you've become so used to how 'love' was being brought up in the family upbringing/environment that you were in. Now you get the feeling that your limited sense of what love is simply doesn't line up. It's was never unconditional, its a crutch for you to lean on.

I’m Bad at relationships. Women tend to only want sex from me. Sex is old to me now. I’m the achiever, I felt it deep in me when you spoke about the achiever and memories started popping up from childhood. I sabotage the ones that did like me. Now I have Success with no one to share it with :(

There was more wisdom in this than a million ted talks from professionals

A successful person is not dependent upon money, but upon their sense of self worth. Not a narcissist mind you, but the awareness that they are worthy of love and respect. This kind of a person will not only find love but most assuredly attract the attention of those who find their sense of self worth in demeaning others. This is the world we live in and this is the kind of inter-action that goes on between successful people and jealous insecure haters.

Being single and on your own is not such a bad thing, you make all your own decisions and aims in life but if you have a partner they can ruin what you really want to do in life. So if you are in a unhappy in a relationship like I was, then I suggest you to end it and move on like I did . I've now been on my own 3 years and my life is totally amazing. I know lots of people are scared of being single but its ok believe me , it makes you a stronger person spiritually and mentally. Also when you want to do things in life you do not have to ask permission from your partner. Remember we all came in this world on our own, and one day we all have to leave this world on our own when we Die. So if your unhappy with somebody then you might has well be happy without that somebody ....Robert

I propose that judging your relationships in this manner is a form of dishonoring the enlightened being in that person, and therefore encourages and contributes to that persons failures.

I date successful attractive and intelligent men and we are comparable. Morals and values is where they fall short. Once I realize deep down they have low morals I check out. Ethics is what I have not been able to find and someone that has financial security yet a work to life balance. Rather be single I want it all.

Mind blown yet again. I am so thankful to have the resources to watch your videos and listen to your perspectives. Thanks Teal. 💗

That question got me good in the feels almost... "Why would people not want to be with me?"

⚠️ I am both, the achiever and the sabotager.... I'm in a dysfunctional family and I think of myself as a winner and a loser. I've also experienced both sides 😅 Like I know I'm weak and realized that people value anyone who have many achievements. So I tried being an achiever and got praised but whenever I make mistakes, my mother will always remind me that my achievements are nothing and that I should do better in life and she'll punish me or treat me like sht. My passive father is just letting my mother to do whatever she wants because he's weak and scared of her. Soon, I got depressed and burnout by all the pressure. In relationships, I tried dating someone who is equal and greater to me, but I find them demanding and I feel overwhelmed. I'm scared because they might be like my mother. What if they find that behind my success are my shortcomings and flaws that they can't put up with? Will they hurt me? Abused me? I'm a woman and I don't like a guy who'll resemble my mom. I don't want someone who can bring more to the table then expect me to do the same or more and if not, they'll be disappointed and criticise me and hurt me. Like I feel guilty just thinking about my weak side. That I'm not the person they expected me to be. I tried also being my loser self and end up feeling lesser than the other person. I always sabotage. So I tried to live as my normal self (someone who is achiever but can show my loser side), but I end up attracting a loser than me. 😂 He saw me as an achiever that he doesn't know what to offer. He always sabotage what we have. I understand him because I've been there 😂 I don't know but I find it funny hahahahah Relationships have lots of dynamic and it's kinda fun to wear many hats. But it's kinda tiring. Maybe I just need to know want I want and what I expect and let the other person know.

I love it when you laugh during your videos, It always helps me remember to not take life too seriously and to not view my perceived issues as problems. I'm so thankful for you and your teachings always in all ways!

"Let The Universe Choose Your Message" = Awesome!!!

You firmly placed success in the material realm, which could retraumatize those who are successful in other ways. Also, laughing at those labeled "unsuccessful" is not going to help those caught in this behavior pattern to lighten up, remove judgement from their situation, and go forward again.

Understanding more about relationships means I am less likely to want to be in one. I want to go home at night and not be reminded of my opposites. Through the day, at work, at my social life, life is telling me what I need to know, but when I am at home with an intimate person I don't need that. I need to relax. I've known this for a long time but never been able to give it words. This is why I will always be single, and one of the reasons the universe itself is flawed. -edit But saying that perhaps one person out there is geared up to be the match for that, who knows.

buulcrap, love does not exist, everyone leaves, this is the only constant. I have zero tolerance for rejection and crap around people who do not want to communicate or listen.

I feel like I identify with both a loser and a successful person. My ex partner and I lived in a paradox of both being both.

Thank you, I wanted to be in a relationship, and something was off about it from my side and also from hers. Now I know that it was muturalismen and not love I was seeking and going for. I lost more then one relationship because I have never learned to love nor be a man truly. This has really helped, as I am moving with as much truth and openness as I can bear life seems to open op, and I revise great gifts like this video. Thank you so much Teal you are a great help

This woman gave me an enormous headache surge. JUST TURN OFF YOUR BRAIN AND LOVE WITH YOUR HEART

Taken ffor granted . That's one of the things I felt...but strangely enuf...I did lots of things for him. Giving him $ even though I didn't have much and doing everything he wanted... yet he was the one viewed as successful...he had degrees but he was an abusive person. Having degrees did not mean that he's a good person..

Yeah! Keep dropping that knowledge! I love you Teal!

I am now coming to the realisation that i might just be a loser. That's the people have always made me feel.

i just love teal's perception on things coincides with mine so perfectly

Teal really hit the nail on the head with this video....if I wasn't helping my parents achieve either directly by demands, or through my own achievements, than I was ignored or told I was a burden.....this hits me at the core and really helps unleash the deeper issue, the 'shadow' part of myself....thanks for going in and pulling us out from our shadow parts, guiding us towards the light...

Is it just me or is teal's eyes a shade of lavender?

You’re EXPOSING ME!!! Lol thank you Teal!

thanks for this video, I totally think this is what has been happening to me recently, i became ULTRA aware of shadow aspects in my relationship--it was as if our shadow aspects attracted each other. it has been so valuable to recognize them for what they are. i am so grateful for your resources, thank you

I think the big difference between the successful and the unsuccessful is their level of delusion.

Ewwww..... I can't believe a spiritual guide would judge success by monetary value and use the term loser to describe someone! So does that mean that in a traditional marriage the stay at home parent that raises the children, volunteers and runs the home is a looser? My definition of looser (or as I like to call it someone not living up to their potential) is someone who doesn't contribute to society. And that can be done in many ways by people with or without money.

The only unconditional love comes from God, parents and animals. Romantic love is ALWAYS conditional! Bottom line. Thank you Teal. You are a beautiful soul😃

Teal, I have so much to learn. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know! Thank you for providing answers to questions. Best, B

I keep dating losers because i think off myself as a loser

She's definitely onto something.. as always! Thanks again Teal :)

In my experience people who fit this definition of success are ambitious and are turned off by people who have no ambition.

Is it possible to be both??

Great stuff. When listening I realized it applies on work relationships too.

Damn it...now I really understand my situation

I am now single. I think I need to be celibate and not eat meat for 21 days, does that make sense? Something intuitive. I’m messed up, I feel like a woman inside, it’s excruciating, I’m hypersexulized and super unfulfilled and frustrated. All give a fucks are broken and fully depleted. Cognitive dissonance, which is from abuse. I’m working through that and have made it a point to speak the truth. Speaking the truth is a very big chore, I began seeking to become holy and enlightened, and the process of overcoming my weaknesses began. My sweet (now) ex wife was delighted to dig many truths from me that she then told me she hated me for. She actually catalyzed me to begin self love and healing, especially now when I am broken and vulnerable. I know I have power, but I’m exploring into my core. I can move assemblage points smoothly as perceived by frequency. I’m ready to receive expansion. Do me a favor Teal, Darling, and steady the earth for a couple days, will or intend for the best flow of source energy to flow into my path. Thanks babe! 😘

Bottom line : we use each other to fulfill the missing piece. That’s why 99% of those relationships are superficial, betrayal is their trademark, hypocrisy is the common used language. Lose Lose situations. Pathetic ones.

Interesting as usual. Although, there are all kinds of "losers" out there, other than just material ones, and I think this is talking about two extremes of the spectrum. Also, when building self-esteem, do we want to pick out things that we don't particularly like about ourselves, which also might be self-destructive, and give them kudos, rather than acknowledge that darkness and try to transform, release or integrate it... I liked. Especially Nick Clegg.

I believe in splitting the Bill's down the middle no matter how successful or unsuccessful you and l would be. I can't have one with the other nor do l want to. I'm not gonna be unsuccessful and you successful and not be able to face what ever problems we may have equally. There is no achievement in that, no matter what form of expectation has atoms in it.

the losers I dated were abusive got nothing to do with the so called successful person

Your videos always happen to match up spot on to what i am going through in my life-i am the super successful person who really needs to work on their self esteem...more shadow work-here we go lol

Great video. I would also remind females that there are 2 main economic reasons within your control that causes you to be in poverty as you get older or having to work in terrible jobs until retirement (age 70) 1) Not choosing a high earning career. 2) Settling for a loser man who is not in the top 20% Good luck.

I simply love the topics you touch, you are way better than a highly paid psychiatrist. You are simply amazing.

The energy of this video is geared on a personal level....not sure what to say....

I’m also very touched by the list of positive side of darkness. One can feel the depth of transformation. Thank you!

when you start laughing I start laughing too...your little giggles make me happy :D

Your videos are incredible. These are the same thoughts that occured to me in the last few months. I am a loser and about to turn my life around and commit myself to my studies. Hearing your speech gives me even more focus and reassurance that I am on the right path. Thank you for that.

Good video again,I feel like a loser as I always lose out despite being told I'm a good guy and loving,I suppose its just the cards we are dealt,rejection is horrible,losing a dream of love or a future with what you thought of as your soul mate,its such a very rare thing for me so all the more devastating when they go as I feel I will feel distressed and heartbroken for ever

This was amazing. I'm not quite sure where I would fit in a category like this but I think I can benefit from the exercise that you gave.

Brilliant and honest as always.

It's clear that you attract what you like/love or what you lack. So when you have a negative self image or believe the outcome will go wrong you will create that vision in your mind. Plus, who we attract is already clearly explained in psychology. There's certain types of people who attract each other more often than others. For instance a bad boy would like a more outgoing girl than a shy girl. Because they like adventure and indepent behavior/lifestyle. A stressed/depressed girl would attract more a nervous and nice guy who won't judge them and supports them. So yes,like/ you attract what you fear and also what you love. It's a rare case that opposites attract. It might work for a while but after some time the differences will stand out.

you seem a little extra squirrely in this video and i like that :3 lol

your content is amazing especially the way you word everything and put it down in too many perspectives it truly reaches out to the core of oneself

What is successful?

👍💖 Thank you Teal. This is a very helpful explanation for understanding relationship dynamics under these wounded influences.

Nice message to hear today. Thanks!

this is too relatable... thank you teal

Just because I'm unsuccessful doesn't mean that l sabotage.

This actually called me out a lot and I’m gonna work on myself and journal about this

Wow, this was amazing! Thank you so much, so glad to find this answers, this is the perfect, this is so real! That example of darkness was so beautiful. Thank yoouu :)

Water finds its own level.

This is so good! Have just realized this about my self !!!

I think it is not a bit funny either to downplay and make fun of people

Very insightful :) I'm so glad you make these videos, they provide a really good perspective on things

Insightful as always, so much appreciated Teal!

Excellent. Thanks. Very timely.

I can't wait for the day when schools start teaching things like this and other spiritual knowledge :D

Love your laugh at 11.09 , that was my favorite part of the movie, lots of gr8 info, thanks Teal :)

I have been with many women and loved alot of them, but I have never yet been 'In Love'. Yet this journey of mine has many more miles to travel and I am still very happy :-)

Well, the last enemy to be defeated is death. I think sometimes we have an economy so people won't be lazy. Is a person that can kill another with no problem, a successful person? Or is a kindhearted person a loser? Maybe it all depends on how each one determines success.

Nice video Teal! But what happens if we just have different concept of sucess as you stated at the begining of the video? Should we always find a partner that shares the same basic philosophy of life to be together in harmony right? can you please make a video on the diferent perspectives of the concept of "success"?

im the "successful" and i keep being attracted to "losers" but this never develops into an actual relationship, theyre usually incapable of intimacy

You are talking to me! You are talking to me Teal!

Thanks Teal ....That successful partner is me!

I find when it comes to relationships it's just what you enjoy and what the others would enjoy would bring you together it's not a matter of wanting that one person but a matter of if you guys are right for one another you can't go looking for love it just happens for me for example I've been single for almost 2 years and sure I like to have somebody but I see through the way my interests are and how I believe in life I don't think that there's somebody capable of being able to handle that handle what I think time will only tell I'm guessing people could be single or a loan for majority of their lives you just gotta wait for that one person to fully accept you and not something I find would be hard

this is exactly what I needed, you're amazing! xoxo

the title is so funny and real to many, I had to watch

Your doing is a reflection of your being. So being loved for what you do is being loved for who you are. AND relationships ARE business-transactions and they WILL ALWAYS be conditional. You can not stay close to a rapist and hug them every day if they are still raping around.

Awesome idea to write down things we dont approve of in ourselves & then write down something for each thing that makes us feel better...I especially liked your example about being dark, bec I see myself that way & I noticed some of the positives such as my easily being there with others in their darkness :)

I can't seem to find anyone who isn't totally shattered. I don't go looking for people with these attributes, it just sort of happens. They hide it at first, but it usually comes like a tidal wave directed at me. I don't care if someone is perfect, but I'd like to find someone who is at least pleasant and doesn't focus their problems at me, like I'm a sacrificial lamb/scape goat.

Very insightful. I had to pause and reflect on what you said. It seems that most marriages don't work out because they were solely based on mutualism. Even for those that do, they lack love and only exist for the benefits.

You’re going to have a million plus subs soon.