“Learning our names is enough for one day.” while stranded on a deserted island is the dumbest and most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard.

Characters: *Are too lazy to figure out why they're on the island* Same Characters: *Would rather build their own shelter than use the building already there* "Doesn't. add. up."

The dynamic between this cast is what group projects in high school used to feel like.

This is like playing a role play game but you purposely choose the bad dialogue everytime lmao

Comparing the characters to high schoolers isn’t fair. Kids in The Lord of the Flies were more competent on their first day than these clowns.

The missing "S" in The I-Land stands for "Script." They probably should of included a letter S...

"guys we've found shelter, a massive hotel. It's got water and beds, and we managed to get there and back in, like, half a day and we're totally fine, not even dirty or covered in sweat or blood or anything. We literally look like we've just been down to the supermarket and back" "Yeah, well, that sounds like too much hard work. We should just stay here, and spend days, maybe even weeks, building our own shelter and beds using only our bare hands. And as for water, we can also build vessels to carry it from the lake several times a day, every day. This seems a lot easier than easily climbing one cliff just one time."

This series could had make a lot more sense if they just added a scene where one of the people who developt the simulation said "part of the experiment required we to block the survival instincts of the inmates, so they don't try to escape or find out was going on. But we may had gone overboard with it, those inmates were going to just lay on the beach and die if it wasn't for Chase"

This show feels like a high budget censored pornography, where it's all set up but nothing happens.

When waking up with amnesia on an island first you need to establish a popularity order THEN survival strategy. Everyone knows that.

Imagine gathering this amount of resources to produce a show like this based on a script this bad. Imagine the amount of eye-rolling and loud exhales during the first read through.

when the first girl asks the second girl about if she found anything and says "so we have two things" and the second girl pulls the knife out i was 100% expecting her to say "nope. i have two things" also who wakes up on an unknown beach and thinks "well at least i have a shell. i could have nothing but i DO have one thing, a shell" bitch youre on a beach, look around a bet you could have a dozen "things"

If you woke up holding a shell, would your first instinct be to blow it?" Yes. It might be the Conch signal and Mermaid Man could save me.

"These little puzzles are hilarious because it doesn't .." Doesn't what, Mark? It doesn't *add up* ?!

The undercover government agents immediately breaking their cover once questioned in the slightest broke my brain. It’s official, whoever wrote this show isn’t human. I refuse to believe it. A turtle that crawled towards different writing notes that they then used must of written this. Surely a human writer can’t be this dumb?

Chase at first: Finds things to help everyone better their situation Everyone: HOW DARE YOU!!!

The character attitudes and laziness is incredibly annoying and I'm only listening to a review!

The characters clothes are whiter and cleaned pressed like in a detergent commercial 😂😂😂

"So guys it turns out that this island isn't deserted and that civilization is only a 5 minute walk away." "I am not going anywhere, I want to just lie on this beach and die." And this just goes on for a whole season.

It gets ridiculous how an old lady actually kicked so many of the guards into submission, one would think that after 25 years her muslces would be atrophiated memory or not

Discovering the book only to throw it away immediately has to be one of the most unintentionally sadly symbolic scenes ever.

Wow. This looks so painfully dumb. Bless you for watching this crap for us.

"it's too hot here..." Says that while the strong wind blows his hair across his face...

Not to mention: Blowing in a conch does nothing unless the shell is modified.

So this show didn't jump the shark - it was pushed into it...

What really blows my mind, is how they kept their shirts so white the whole time! I usually make it around 10 minutes before i mysteriously stain my whites.

That's the problem with these Netflicks series: there's barely enough content for a 90 minute movie and they stretch it out to seven or more episodes. In the 80s this would have been a single episode of a television show, and it would have worked as that.

Mark as one of the cast members written as himself would have been hilarious!!! And the “magnetic force field” doctor was the writer of this disaster. 🤣🤣 this explains why his character was there.

I feel bad for the actors. They probably thought "oh im gonna be in the next LOST".... and then they read the script.

Everyone has different sized steps. Measuring by steps doesn't add up. *_IT DOESN'T ADD UP!!_*

I feel like showrunners are just having competitions between themselves at how dumb they can make a show and still have it made and create fans.

I’m so glad to find out this show is just as confusing as I thought, I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis and I really thought i was just not getting it bc I’ve recently learned my brain doesn’t work like other people. Good to know the writers are the problem lmao

This feels like live action representation of those wattpad teen romances..the worst ones of them 🤦🏻‍♀️

Funny how this show acts as though the island being a simulation is some kind of twist, *when the title all but gives it away.*

"It doesn't...add...up!" Wow, didn't expect her to start reviewing the show. How meta.

Not gonna lie. I had forgotten that I had actually seen this. I legit didn't remember the name, the premise, or anything... My memory was jogged when seeing certain scenes and then my brain was like "Oh yeah! We've SEEN this! We must have just... discarded it."

I remember watching Gilligan's Island with my grandfather when I was little. And I remember him saying the professor can invent a lot of things except for a way to get off that damn Island.

"ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!!"

12:00 When KC repeated herself, I took it as the writer trying to emphasise something.

Ten minutes into the film, I noticed an odd occurrence where two female characters seemingly developed a sudden animosity towards each other, despite having no prior connection. It was puzzling because they had both awakened in an unfamiliar location and had no reason to harbor such hostility. It felt implausible that they would instantly despise one another without any logical basis. Additionally, another glaring issue was that these characters couldn't initially comprehend why they were wearing identical outfits, which seemed quite nonsensical. Moreover, it was evident that the writers neglected to consider basic everyday hygiene protocols. It's highly unlikely that one's breath would remain fresh in the morning, and strangely, the female characters appeared to have glossy lips and flawless skin as if they were wearing makeup. The series took a disappointing turn when it prematurely revealed that the characters were actually part of a simulated environment, thus robbing the viewers of the anticipation and satisfaction that would have been derived from future episodes.

All of them act like they just woke up on set with no memory of ever having read the script, and the director is an extremely hormonal teenager.

Why are they all dressed like Peter Griffin?

I started watching this show accidentally on mute...and the first few minutes completely silent were fantastic. Then she met other people, I realized my mistake and lasted about 5 more minutes before I turned it off and never watched again.

As far as I can tell, reading up on the history of the show, it doesn't appear that this series actually had writers, just numerous producers taking writing credits. Is it really possible that Netflix would have looked at this situation and said, "Good, here's your $2,000,000 per episode now run with it." Well, apparently they did, because according to the internet the series cost around $14 million total.

I swear Netflix has just given up all attempt at quality control....

When the guy said “maybe we’re on a work trip” and she responds “this isn’t teambuilding” I thought the twist would be that this was all a test run simulation used by workplaces to literally do just that. Kinda like an advanced escape room. The issue then would be the awkward dynamics when they wake up from the simulation after having tried to rape each other, kill each other, etc. I feel like this would’ve been an interesting twist

That reminds me one of my main critics about Lost. I could not understand why the various characters were constantly hiding important survival information. Find a plane wreckage? Keep it secret! A door in the jungle? Secret! A pirate boat? Let's not tell anyone. An underground base full of equipment and food? Secret!

I wondered why I had never heard of this show before now. I'm not wondering about that anymore now.

*Acts logically when stranded on a deserted island. The I-Land: “We don’t do that around here”

how can a character who immediately starting problems with other people expect someone to like her

I come back and watch this every couple months because it's mind-blowing that not only did a group of people write this but then a group of people read it and thought "We need to get this to the masses ASAP!"

I live in Hawaii and use to work as an entertainer in Waikiki. Trust me, you can't just blow into a conch shell to make a sound. You actually have to blow into it like a trumpet. Which is difficult if you have never done it before.

When the woman with the knife says; "You got something and I got something" it would have been great if she cracked her over the head with th conch shell and then the credits roll.

The writers probably thought the "learning our names is enough for one day" girl would be a fan favorite because she is dark and brooding, and also a supposed "voice of reason" ...

Ten minutes in, I suddenly remembered that I've seen this series. This video explaines my amnesia.

"Why is the shell marked 'Property of...'? It's a simulation!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

The Island of failed careers of one shot wonders and one shot onlys.

All I need to know is that it’s called “I-Land” for me to know it’s going to be complete garbage

I really connected with that shark.

Brotha, what you do is genuinely appreciated 💯🙏🏽

It's a good thing whoever dumped them on this Island made sure their legs and bikini line were waxed. How thoughtful for the moment you might want to go swimming.

"And if you die on the island, you die in real life." What is this, A Nightmare on Elm Street?

This show is aimed at young people as everyone is good looking and moody, don’t think good writing is top priority

This is quickly becoming one of my comfort videos.

I don't know about you, but as a white dude who has spent a lot of time outside without immediate shelter, taking clothes off is the last thing to do. Good luck with that 3rd degree sunburn on a deserted island.

So this is like some sort of terrible remake of “Lord of The Flies”.

I gave you a sub for this. I tried to watch this show when it first came out. I only made it through the first episode. I was curious about how it ended… but not curious enough to suffer through the rest of it. Thanks for taking one for the team. :D

It seems like some of these shows are like when rich parents shell out money for their extremely untalented children to make something they have no business making. Like a rich kids project while they are suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect. Or someone made a bet that that people are so stupid they would watch a show written by a child. Then they have their 10 yr old son write a script and fund its production.

"It's like Lost meets The Matrix.... except it sucks." classic

This is the kind of show that makes Tommy Wiseu look like Martin Scorsese.

If you take the number of steps between people and multiply it by the number of people, you get… The exact distance over which those people were lying when the awoke. 😳😂

I watched and read Lord of the Flies a number of times, so if present or future me wound up on an island with a conch, I'd blow it. When meeting the group of other people, I would also continually remind them that "I have the conch," a reference to Lord of the Flies that I would not expect the other islanders to "get". The fact that they did not get this reference would amuse me, and I would continue to make it, and I would get even louder with my "I HAVE THE CONCH!" bellows until they got tired of me, overwhelmed me, and beat me to death with the conch.

I heard a story about someone finding a beautiful big shell on the beach, and right at the moment he reached for it, a big centipede crawled out. I was hesitate to even pick up shells on the beach after that, let alone blow them.

“Forget survival instinct , let’s just....bang it out “ 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Want to build a shelter. No Want to find food. Nah Want to find a source of water. No Want to walk down the beach in a random direction for a random reason and shit on what we find. Hells yeah.

This has been most entertaining, wish most reviews were done like this! 😂

Agent:"Did you read the I-Land script I sent you?" Actor:"Yeah, man, but this is really shyte. It's like a bit of Lost with a shot of The Tempest, the characters and dialogues are like from a Theatre of the Absurd/Teenage Drama hybrid, and then - big twist - it's just a matrix like prison VR simulation that is a play on the punishment speculation of simulation theory. Lots of other en vogue themes like domestic abuse and capitalism criticism but I have no idea what the message is supposed to be if there is one at all. It just feels like somebody had a nice idea and then lots of people added their own thing and after 20 rewrites everybody just gave up." Agent:"Yup. Pretty much. And it really doesn't pay that well, they only have 14 million for 7 epsiodes. But it is shot from mid october to mid december in the Domenican Republic when the weather is the nicest. So basically it's gonna be a 2 month all-inclusive vacation with lots of rum based cocktails and a lot of temporarily single people ... if you know what I mean." Actor:"Where do I sign?"

The actress who plays KC is... doing her best but it seems like she’s mad a the script lol. Love the video

MARK YOU GOTTA COVER I-LAND 2! WHEN IT COMES OUT! 😂 THIS VIDEO IS HILARIOUS!

Here's my rewrite of The I-Land: as they begin starving they contemplate eating someone. Eventually, one of them kills themselves and so they eat that person. As they're all eating, some fireworks go off and they realize they're on a vacation hotspot, with hotels just over the hill

My friends and I watched this show quite a while ago and we ended watching half of it mute, coming up with new lines on the spot and voice acting them. That was funny. Sad thing is that you could just watch it mute for a long while and when you turned on the sound again you wouldn't have missed a thing. Also our version of thr show was a lot more fun and also made more sense eventhough we were just going with random stuff.

So KC had an abusive husband, but instead of killing him, she killed her kids and herself? That's like if you're at a picnic, and there's a fly buzzing around, and you hit everyone with the flyswatter, including yourself, but let the fly go free.

Actual dialogue at 20:27... -"Beds" - "Beds?" -"Beds" -"Wow" -"Really?" -"Really?"

The guys just found out their names are Brody and Donovan. That is enough for one day.

I guess she had chicken fingers.

The relatability of the characters comes from the diversity of the cast, obviously. You relate to them based on genetics rather than actions, behaviors and "making sense."

Just listening to this synopsis of this show, all I can say is this sounds incredibly implausible.

Mark, you were hitting on all cylinders this episode 😭😂🤣 I haven't seen you freaking out at such bizarre writing/acting since your review of The Ring reboot. I laughed hard throughout this entire episode with 21:45 being my favorite part.

If i woke up holding a conch shell on a beach i would immediately think its lord of the flies and go sharpen a stick to make a spear

At first, I thought this show was somehow related to the Aldous Huxley novel 'Island', also since the first episode of the show is called 'Brave New World'. But no, no obvious relation except the island-part.

4:35 is an absolutely great piece of advice for life in general.

This whole show... It just doesn't add up

out of context the title '' The I-Land'' sounds like the future of the apple corporation, Like this is what happens to the people who dont read the terms and conditions on their I-phones

"We have money and must spent it." "Yeah, listen. I only had this bad idea of people on an island that..." "Production starts next week"

I may blow on a shell EVENTUALLY, when I get bored and tired and already through the acceptance that I am stranded, but defiantly not RIGHT AWAY within seconds of realizing I am on a deserted island possibly alone.

The characters are lazy because the writers are lazy. It's a real life representation.

Remember that Disney show "Flight 29(?) Down" that show that was about those teenagers who crash landed on an island? That show and those characters acted more rational than the ones in this show

It has to be said, it's not a bad premise, waking up on a deserted island, mysteries, discovering that you're in the future and a prisoner in a matrix kind of thing, it's just horrible writing, but a great premise. If I had the energy and money I would write a great story based on that concept, but it has to be as slow and thought provoking as lost.

You know, as much as I understand the complaints that the characters are all stupid, I kinda forgive it, because I interpreted the story as the VR simulation being a like a dream state, rather than a hyper realistic Matrix type simulation.

FanboyFlicks is like everyone’s uncle who’s really cool. Both are really cool guys. Nice.