Pepps33 you’re 💯 on point 👍🏼!

I feel like I’m a narcissist magnet 🧲 because I feel that I’m always trying to rescue men .

Exactly!! So well said! 👏🏻👏🏻💖

Yep!

Absolutely!!! And make excuses

Wow! Light bulb moment for me Thank you for that. ♥️

phemyda94, I like that! Guilt is one of their major ploys! Nice people often fall for it.

@@notagain779 Which is so ironic because they never feel guilty themselves. At best, they feel ashamed when caught redhanded.

Boom 💥 that’s me

phemyda94 why do we always feel guilty?

And vice versa.

This is true.

@@helenhighwater5313 Darkness masquerading as light is what works as vice versa.

HelenHighwater once you recognize your light you become repulsed by darkness and no longer attracted to it

Yep💯💚

We’re out here but we’re just as cautious of you as you are of us 🤷‍♂️

Yep! Once I make my exit, I will not date. Too tired of this BS. I'd rather be alone and at peace. I do not want to risk investing/wasting any time with another narc.

@@exile3119 I absolutely get you, I felt in the past years actually, only since around 1-2 months I am starting to change in this regard. But know that it is not worth to give up on people because of some that are bad apples. Work on yourself and learn to identify them, and then to protect from them..like what actualy behaviours to look for and what actual behaviours to apply when that happens. it might seem hard at first, but if you find great information and you put yourself out there with those principles in mind, you will see that you will train your intuition, and it will get better. you will develop a new skill, and a very useful one in life, and trust me if you get the right information on the topic, it will not even take that much, a couple of months + practice, in my opinion. you need people as much as everyone else, and you need people that can love you and not abuse you. and cutting yourself from that is detrimental for your own sake. what I see working for me, is educating myself on the matter, as I said before. hope you will be well, take care.

Girl same 😩

Same

so true thanks have a great day.

Get me in trouble, sadly

@@larryjbro you are lovable, never forget that ❤️

Well said Alexandra! Briefly and clearly. Have a lovely weekend too! Deborah from The Netherlands

@@deborahbloem1325 Thank you so much, Deborah ❤️ I am half Portuguese, half-Dutch. So good to receive a greeting from my other half country :) Have a lovely weekend :)

Me too now that I've been through decades of abuse.

I am at the point where I am trying to perfect how I deal with narcissists. I can spot them and know to stay away from them. But sometimes you work with them or they are just in the community, friends of friends, etc. I wish there was a forum where people talk about different scenarios and specifically how they deal with them.

I had on VERY informal dinner date ...we were both on our way to work....then the lockdown happened. After that, just phone calls and not even unusually often. We were talking about the economy and all the uncertainties ...wasn’t whining, just the general situation....and the man offered to help finance me!!! WTH??!! Giant red flag!! Exit, stage left! Who the hell offers to support someone with whom he has spent only 45 minutes?

@@MsKK909 I had a similar thing happen. Actually it was the same thing. I didn't ask either I was just talking about the above. He offered me money too. I knew it right there. There were other signs too. He really didn't even have the money from what I gather because the next day he was asking for donations to get insurance on his van to help the needy. I knew and let him discard me to avoid problems.

@K H I wish I could do that.

You are so right! Even after 14 years...out of the blue. Things ok in the morning, suddenly disgarded in the evening. It's devastating.

Politicians

That hit me hard! thank you for sharing such inspiring truth

Stephanya Lisova That's exactly right and people have wasted many years with highly narcissistic, or worse, "partners," only to find out that they were having affairs, or left to be with a younger source of fuel, as HG Tudor calls it. He also calls his targets appliances, which is a clear, albeit confronting, way to state that fellow humans are objects he uses when necessary. 😥

True !!!

Agree! once you know about them you see them everywhere

Yep! They are EVERYWHERE!

@@pam164 glad the word is getting out....empaths are rising up!💐

This is it!

Everyyywherrrre is right haha

Amen!!!!! Forgiveness doesn't mean reconnecting.

Jesus said "forgive" not "take crap from them all the time"

@@kynathomas4809 And you do not have to forgive if you are not ready. I have heard people saying that you just MUST forgive so you can heal. Maybe, but leave that decision to me, if you please!

I would say the forgiveness might be for ourselves

I can forgive a frightened dog for trying to bite me. That doesn’t mean I’ll put my hand near its mouth.

Keep the good work dear!! Be strong for urself😍

Nelumbo Nucifera, My childhood conditioning, also. Our parents wanted us to be nice children - a joy to be around. Sounds reasonable, right? My mother said to me, "Make sure everyone knows you like them!" Being popular meant a lot to her, and she had a lot of friends, but some did also take advantage of her kindness. She forgot to add to be sure not to throw your pearls before swine, since not everyone you meet in life will be worthy of your time and attention. Looks to me like you're on the right path!💪🙂 Thank god for Dr. Ramani!

Yes we are people pleasers and ...."Boom" there it is.

Same here, Nelumbo. I was shocked to find I was surrounded by them. I nearly had to reinvent my whole life. Lots of grief and sadness but I have a much more peaceful life now.

I understand your words completely. I also have a few 'friends' that treat me really badly and it's taken me years to identify what's wrong. And I've allowed these people to nearly destroy me.

This happened to me this weekend. Met a girl and went in quick with her manipulation. She had nothing good to say about me , only things she said was to put me down. I saw a lot of myself in her so I had empathy, but god damn did I get overtaken quick.

I had a similar experience… it was 0-100, I was so caught up I felt like I was on drugs and was allowing behavior I wouldn’t necessarily allow in other relationships. He 100% fed on guilt and nurturing side… sick part is, I actually watched him try to get sympathy from other people in front of me and I never thought that that’s why he “chose” me because other people weren’t giving him the attention for the sympathy like I did. JESUS

Speed here is the key to the the tea 👍

Finally got rid of my narc ex bestie😌 After a whole year, now that I look back, I feel what made me sooo tolerant that I didn't block her sooner😂

And at this point, patience is a virtue. Because it may take some time. It’s good but anguishing at times.

Great comment. Eye opening.

Linzer; you can change that! You must have boundaries! You must respect yourself and not allow people to disrespect you. Recognize their tactics such as blame-shifting and gaslighting. Have a two strike rule. If someone hurts you twice, dump them like a load of bad asphalt! Drop them and move on. Narcs look for people-pleasers. They need someone with low self-esteem to take advantage of and use for negative supply by playing games. Make people earn your trust. Open up slowly. If you start seeing red flags... it's time to cut they off! Master the Greyrock so they get starved of any supply. People who care don't try to trick you in any way. Learn to trust your gut. Watch out for a stony face and cold, flat, dead-looking eyes. Be very selective about who you let in your life.

Snap

@@vernetta111 Thanks!😁

@@pegasus5148 Damn straight!! The time for change is NOW!! Thank you for the thoughtful support!!

@@Lindsay-Makes-Videos You bet! I was raised by two coverts and it was awful. Narcissist know what they are and they know who you are! They know you are an empath. They will use you to get what is known as negative narcissistic supply. This means that they are going to target you for abuse. Narcs know that emotional abuse is hidden. They use gaslighting to keep you confused. That is why you never want to confront them because you will only be giving them supply because you are reacting to something they've done. They gradually and insidiously work destroying your self-esteem so that they can keep you in an abuse cycle that they want to see perpetuate. That is why you get the feeling that this person is hot and cold. It is the sweet mean cycle of abuse. Once you're fully awake you'll never be able to go back to sleep and that is the good part. Work on mastering the gray rock because this will starve them out. They need you to emotionally react in order to get fed. So, if you become stoic and silent, then they cannot get any satisfaction. Remember they're attracted to people-pleasers. You can be kind and courteous without over giving of yourself. People who care will respect your boundaries. Narcs hate them because it cuts off their opportunity to use you for supply.

I feel the same way! I'm in a terrible situation but I'm feeling so positive that great things are going to happen. Good luck 🤞

In my case, everybody is thinking on the narcisist, I just exist as a piece to make him happy. Nobody thinks that I deserve someone who makes ME happy. I am object to be used.

In my case everybody is thinking on the narcisist. I just exist as a piece to make him happy. Nobody thinks that I deserve someone who makes ME happy. I am an object to be used.

Okay, so he has put you in a living hell situation but you're glad because you think he has something better for you down the road? Sound familiar?

Amen!

I needed to hear this, thankyou

I'm guilty of looking for my knight and shining armor too. You really have to dig deep and find a way out of the situation.

Noted

Omg, that my story too, I hate my dad, he put me in a situation where in alot of people bullied me and narciistic people abused me and my ex molested me multiples times, cause I kept going to him cause I wanted an escape

I did this too

I'd say they're more akin to parasites than predators

A perfect response

Just attracted one at work. As soon as I said no to his offer to drive me at my house telling him I don't know him to accept the kind gesture he changed how is he treating me at work. I guess I am now in devaluation phase🤔

No many, but easy to spot, 🤢🤮

Me too!! Unfortunately I lost all my pets with my home and divorce. So happy that you have your farm. Too funny, I have exactly four super close friends and my two kids. Enjoy your PEACE!!!

Sylvia Oesterwinter I’m selling my place to move back home to where my friends are. On top of the narcissistic traits, my ex is unmedicated ADHD who won’t take meds because he doesn’t think it’s a problem. Our counselor told him very much was, but you know, ex is always right. 🤦🏻‍♀️ He also comes from a family of hoarders. I got the house in the divorce, so I’m trying to clean all the junk out, finish all the half done projects, sell it, and move 600 miles away with horses, dogs, cats, kids, and chickens. I keep telling myself this time next year it will just be a memory. I can do it.

Jo C4255 all the very best 😻

you are lucky

Your life sounds very good, I might do something just like that after 30 years of being with a narcissist. I don’t mind being by myself.

That is a very good explanation. I am also happy and positive and try to give good and honest advice but these narcissists don't want that, they want someone they can control. This is how we attract them. I now keep to myself & sometimes I am even rude when people step over me....but maybe I should've always been like this & protected myself. I realize all my mistakes in the past.

I read "women who run with the wolves" and I really did away with being the nice and naive woman. I still haven't had non narcissistic friends. But the narcissists are not staying any longer. I am bad supply.

@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 - Sounds like I should read that book too.

@@RACHELORI Life changing book. I strongly recommend it. Good luck on your journey ❤❤

@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 - thank you, I will check it out.

Niles Guy, well said!! Exactly how I feel. 💪🏼

💯 Nice Guy...oh Niles my bad

Here’s my devil‘s advocate question …As a highly developed empath and a HSP, I can fall in love - want to move in together and talk about ( intentions of) marriage in the first weeks-why am I not a narcissist? Why can I feel these things and not be a manipulator ( I recently have analyzed these behaviors and will not be doing these in the future but I still have the question… Thank you)

@@nicolenicole319 I think it’s because feeling those things doesn’t make you a narcissist. But a narcissist will say those things so you get trapped with them. Because if you don’t marry them or have children with them quickly you will realise they’re a narcissist and leave

@@nicolenicole319 Were you a neglected child of a single mother? With no sibling?

Thanking you mightily for this sage, concrete idea....I'm going to 'borrow' it if you don't mind!

“At the end of a 30 + marriage to a narcissist” ….. me too. 😢

Yeah, they are everywhere. Male and female, in professional and private relationships.

Oh snap! I think you’re my TWIN. Trying myself to get out now, just hard shaking this MN off my leg!

@@tammyturner7988 keep trying until you succeed! You can do it!

I think that's the hardest part, if u knew them from previously in a platonic nature before becoming romantically involved with them. It is like it puts you at such a less aware state. It seemed like I was able to easily excuse behaviors that if it was anyone else I was getting to know the first time, I would be like, "Goodbye" without hesitation. It became so easy to convince myself to overlook red flags bc of the original persona I had in my mind of them. I would often explain away that "they are not that type of person" and continue to move forward without thought.... essentially, cognitive dissonance. It also became the hardest part of coming to a place of acceptance of who he was once truth and the mask that started to fall off came into the light. That original perception was what really messed with my head after the madness was over or I was discarded. It makes you question your entire ability or instincts in assessing people as being "safe" to allow in ur life in the future🫣

Ugh that's one of THE most irritating traits of narcissists! Like where is the self-awareness or empathy smh. But it's also one of the easiest red flags to spot from a person early on

@@Dagaleeoromo yeah . As dr ramani says dealing with one is like "walking on egg shells" is absolutely true.

@@jimjung172 my last relationship with a malignant narcissist and did a few days ago and it was only just over a month and he said that he was walking on eggshells… As if! Luckily, I know the red flags and added them all up together and asked him to leave permanently… Broke my heart but at least I realized it sooner than later… There’s an epidemic of narcissist out there… It’s very tragic

Same

@Dawn Green do elaborate what you mean: amongst clients or co-workers? I am about to enter the helping profession of Occupational Therapy myself. Thanks

I’m a nurse as well and I’ve attracted multiple narcs. I literally try to save everyone. It’s exhausting

Tresspassers want you to forgive and forget. I'm of the opinion that forgiveness requires repentance. If those often needing forgiveness never repent sometimes the only correst response is to tell yopurself, "I forgive them. And next they're forgotten. If not forgotten, then at least blocked.

Dating has become a mine field in this day and age. I think we all need to slow down in how we give our trust and hearts to others. We need to scrutinize people more.

Date outside of performing arts scene. There are many in that scene because they have access to soooo much supply. I see it in the salsa dance scene also.

‘As soon as they see me they want to destroy me’ 💯 agree emymant AND coverts are more insidious as everything they do is deniable. At least overts are obvious and you can identify them fast and then get the hell away 😻

I SCREAMED when I read pervert 💀💀

if your eyes would be open, you would see that doctor ramani is a sociopath, the emotional expression are all acted, she intelligently use her muscles, nothing is natural, all meant to deceive. see that and your eyes are truely open, because not only narcissist exist. the sociopathic people act like the nicest people, but are all fake. at least you see naricissist, thats a good thing for the start, keep looking ;)

@@johndoe-jt7iz even if she is, she is definitely helping a lot of people 🤷🏽

john doe So many narcissists and psychopaths work as “therapists”. They are the worst predators on the planet. Because above everything, society has been brainwashed to believe them.

@@claudiacastillo5898 i agree fully with you. thats gonna change, i believe so.

You are just mad , because you are figured out. She can't be more normal and natural in her expressions. You are picking a fight with the wind my dear. I not only see, but avoid like pest. You narc turning my stomach upside down.

The same here loool 🥴🥴

Check out Dr. Ross Rosenberg

me too

Try compassion instead of empathy. Read Sam Harris/Buddhism

As an empath, try and look at the world from the outside by letting yourself get uncomfortable physically. Meaning when you feel for someone, rather than lean in and feel for them and get sucked into their world, feel the physical discomfort you get from their emotional state instead. Once you make the discomfort a habit, it’s a form of boundary that allows you to see the outside world for how it is, rather than through your empathic eyes. Embrace that discomfort because focusing on the discomfort rather than emotion/other person steers your attention away from what might be a toxic person. Also as you get used to being uncomfortable, it stops feeling uncomfortable if that makes sense. I hope that made sense. I’m still trying to puzzle it all together myself..

Me too!!! The bpd sister the worst!!!!

Take it as a blessing in disguise to opening your eyes to evil people like these .

Hi, you're right. So I thought too, that's why I can't hate the narcissist, but I thanked her at the end of the relationship. She didn't expect it .....

Ha! Vibrations? Try alcohol. Thank God I only ever attracted one. Unfortunately had kids with him and will never be totally free.

@Zachariah I get what you're saying but I think it's just a fancy way of saying "birds of a feather flock together". It's very true! People's state of normalcy varies and they gravitate/bond to those whose state of normal matches theirs. What's healthy (or normal) and what isn't is up to you to decide.

Thank you.

Zachariah read it again

Many times people who are magnets were abused in childhood. You have been conditioned to tolerate the abuse. Work on boundaries and respecting yourself. Stop people-pleasing! Master the Greyrock. Make people earn your trust over time. Never ignore your gut feeling. Recognize red flags of gaslighting. Once you are on to them, you will spot them quickly and dispatch them from your life. Remember, they are out for supply. Any sign of head games should be a deal breaker!

Joan, I found a piece I believe was intentionally put in my path at around your stage. NO REMORSE NO IF-ONLYS JUST THE ALERTNESS OF BEING

Omg I know they are EVERYWHERE. That’s the “real” pandemic. I sometimes wonder if there are some men that are out there that aren’t. I have many women in my life that are empaths, where are the empath men at??

You can do it DeAnna! Forgive yourself and try the no contact again. I've been out of a toxic relationship with a narc 15 years and now have a wonderful life partner who deserves my kindness. There are some beautiful people out there who can love you like you deserve to be loved.